


The Sea Captain's House - Part 9

by Beautyinthemoonlight



Series: The Sea Captain's House [9]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-06-29 04:37:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 244,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15722124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautyinthemoonlight/pseuds/Beautyinthemoonlight
Summary: The year is 2029 and the Kriegers' busy life just keeps getting busier.  They're still dealing with angst and shenanigans from the kids as they grow up into young adults and tweens and elementary school cutie-pies.  Each child is branching out into their own interests and the logistical challenge of that is stretching their moms thin.  But Ali and Ashlyn come together, as always, to find a way to keep their family moving forward as a cohesive unit.  The plentiful love flowing through the big old house remains a constant, but there's a new darkness that will try to seep into their lives as well.





	1. Los Angeles

**Author's Note:**

> Smut warning
> 
> I'm back people! Sorry it took so long. My new job is keeping me very very busy. It's all good, it's just very time-consuming and I'm having a hard time finding time to write as much as I'd like. I'm far enough ahead now though on this Part 9 that I feel comfortable posting one chapter a day again. This installment will only cover about one year of their lives and be about 25 chapters long or so. You'll understand why as we go along.
> 
> Thanks again for your patience and enjoy Part 9!!
> 
> There's a Tumblr Blog dedicated to this story if you want to check it out. Watch out for spoilers though if you're just starting this Series. Search 'beautyinthemoonlight1124' if you want to see pictures of characters, story elements, floor plans of the big old house and other buildings in the work, Family Tree charts, and other things.

As images of Ashlyn Harris, star goalkeeper in the NWSL, slowly rolled on the large video screen behind the tall blonde on the dark sound stage, Ali Krieger stood proudly watching and trying not to let her emotions run away on her. As Ashlyn’s high but clear and strong voice spoke, the screen transitioned to images of the keeper in her role as founder of the Mental Health Initiative. There were a couple of shots of her with famous strugglers from the sports and entertainment world but the last few were photographs of Ashlyn with wounded US military veterans during her mostly-unpublicized visits to the veterans hospitals in the New England area. The keeper was usually down on one knee with Fred at her side wagging his big caramel-colored tail as they talked with a soldier in a wheelchair. 

Ashlyn had never given up her visits to wounded veterans and had increased her focus on the post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and traumatic brain injury (TBI) issues that so many returning servicemen and servicewomen faced every day. She always brought Fred with her and had started to bring Drew or Josie with her sometimes too. As was always the case with the keeper’s commercials and sponsorships, the kids never appeared in the ads that were produced and released. The closest they ever came to being recognizable were the family Suburu ads where they were only shot from behind as they hopped out of the latest and greatest family SUV and scampered into the house or the snow or the woods or whatever the setting of the particular ad might have been.

Ali chuckled to herself as she stood there in the dark watching her beautiful wife work on the second of two days on the commercial shoot for the American Express card in Los Angeles, CA. She wasn’t amused by the serious topic or setting and scene of this ad. She flashed back for a moment to the ridiculously difficult shoot they had completed at the end of January for Suburu up at Mount Washington. The setting had been perfect – the New Hampshire mountain was majestic and everything was covered in fresh snow as if the weather Gods were part of the arrangement. But that was about the only thing that had been perfect that weekend. Those two days were challenging to say the least. None of the kids were very cooperative, nor were the dogs. Except for Fred who just sacked out wherever he was and took a nap until one of the kids inevitably stepped on him or tripped over him. It was a comedy of errors and Ashlyn didn’t know how the director was going to be able to use any of what they shot during those two long days. Josie jumped out of the SUV and into the snow and one of her boots came off every single time, no matter how snuggly they made them fit. As soon as she went to take another step away to do her official scampering, the boot stayed behind and her socked foot continued along with the rest of her body. Dodge was always early, too eager to do what he had been asked. Lily was always a step late, forgetful of what happened next even though the rest of her siblings were doing it right along with her. Drew was the only one who was on time and on target almost every take. The director loved him. Persey had an uncanny habit of looking directly at the camera which might have been cute, except she looked like she was having a miserable time. It was pathetic really. She was totally fine and happy to be with her people, but she was out of her element and not sure what exactly the new game was that they were playing so she was constantly looking for reassurance. It was only the first of four ‘seasonal’ Suburu commercials on the schedule for that year, and Ali wondered how on earth they were going to make any of them work.

The brunette’s attention was pulled back to the sound stage she was standing next to as they started another take. Ashlyn cleared her throat and took a couple of deep breaths as she squinted off to the side, looking for the pair of eyes that could soothe and empower her at the same time. 

“You got this Ashlyn.”

When she heard her wife’s steady and subtle voice come from about 20 feet away, the keeper exhaled and smiled with a tiny nod in her direction. Leave it to Ali to find a way to be a cheerleader without embarrassing the blonde in front of arguably Ashlyn’s biggest sponsors yet. She could feel the brunette’s presence and took strength and resolve from it as the director started the next take. American Express had produced many different sorts of commercials over the years but the one thing they all had in common was a sort of gravitas. They were serious or stiff, even when they had been using popular comedians for their ‘My life. My card.’ brand campaign back in the early 2000s. There was a stoicism and a surety that the credit card company was known for in their ads and it worked for them and resonated with their wealthy clientele. People with a lot of money appreciated that their credit card company took things seriously when it came to their money. When Ashlyn had first been hired she expressed some doubt about whether or not she would be a good fit for the company. But her wise agent counseled her to keep an open mind and see what the commercial was going to be all about before assuming she wasn’t right for it. After all, they had contacted her, hadn’t they?

Ali felt the goosebumps on her arm as Ashlyn continued to speak and the images continued to roll on the big screen. The picture of Ashlyn with her hand across her heart singing the national anthem in the pregame lineup segued into the veterans hospital footage before she began the final part of the commercial.

“American Express and I are partnering with the ‘Semper Fi Fund’ to help all returning soldiers during their recovery and transition periods back here at home. The ‘Semper Fi Fund’ is one of America’s highest rated charities and they’re dedicated to providing urgently needed resources and support for post 9/11 combat wounded, critically ill, and catastrophically injured members of the US Armed Forces and their families. For every purchase made with the American Express card, my friends at American Express will donate $1 to the ‘Semper Fi Fund’. All you have to do is use your American Express card and you’ll help us help our military men and women get back on their feet again. Please join us, won’t you?”

She had nailed it and Ali knew it. Ashlyn had finally found the right balance of friendly recognition of who she was and what she did, serious talk about mental health issues everybody faced but especially returning soldiers, and an urgent and sincere plea for help that didn’t come across as too maudlin or desperate. It was tricky to ask people to help a group of people without making that group look pathetic, but Ashlyn had finally found the right note. It had been the keeper’s idea to team up with ‘Semper Fi Fund’ in the first place. Initially Ali had been against it.

“Babe, all I’m saying is it’s your first time working with them. Maybe just do it their way this time and then next time...” the brunette had tried to make her stubborn wife see reason a few months before, when the offer had first come in.

“But there might not be a next time” Ashlyn countered, her face serious and hopeful at the same time.

“Not if you start making demands on your very first ad campaign, you’re absolutely right” Ali shot her a warning look.

“Al, honey” the keeper crossed the kitchen of the big old house to stand in front of her wife, more serious than ever. “I’ve gotta ask. I’ve just gotta” she tilted her head as she studied Ali’s pensive, worried face. “Maybe they’ll say no. Maybe they’ll be pissed off at me for being presumptuous” she shrugged and took one of her wife’s hands in her own. “But maybe...just maybe, they’ll say yes.”

The truth was, Ashlyn had been trying to find a way to get the Mental Health Initiative more involved with veterans but the MHI was so limited in what it could do that it never seemed like a good idea for anybody. And rather than try to re-invent the wheel, the keeper had been trying to find an existing group that was already fighting for veterans. That’s how she was ready with the ‘Semper Fi Fund’ so quickly. She had already done a good deal of research on her own. And, of course American Express had loved the idea. It was a genius plan and Ashlyn was uniquely qualified to reach a different demographic than the usual military supporters in the country. She had always been vocal about how much she appreciated the sacrifices service members and their families made. She never missed a chance to post something on her social media for all of the holidays. But in addition, whenever she saw a soldier in their uniform, whether it was their every day combat camo or their dress service uniform, she would buy them whatever it was that they were trying to buy. She had always tried to do this but it wasn’t always possible when she was a struggling NWSL player. As soon as she had more money she started doing it as often as possible. If she and the family were out having dinner somewhere and there was a service member there too, Ashlyn would instruct the waitperson to use her credit card to pay for their meal. She did the same thing at gas stations or convenience stores too. Ashlyn Harris was known for her do-goodery when it came to the military. The mainstream public didn’t hear about much besides her social media posts, but the military folks were always happy to spread the word among their own networks.

“Are you sure it was ok? I think we should have done a few more takes...”

“I’m telling you sweetheart” Ali leaned in and gave her anxious wife a soft kiss. “It was perfect. I got goosebumps, I’m not even kidding.”

“Really?” Ashlyn narrowed her eyes, trying to determine how sincere the brunette really was.

“Honestly. It was really great. I wouldn’t lie to you babe” she smiled and gently patted Ashlyn’s chest before trying to step back and give her room to get changed back into her own clothes.

But the keeper pulled her close, joining both of her own hands behind Ali’s lower back and resting them on top of her ass.

“Thank you so much baby” Ashlyn sighed and closed her eyes for a second, trying to let her anxiety slip away. “For everything. For coming with me and for helping me and for always making me feel like I’m killing it.”

“Well, if we’re doing the thank you thing then I guess I’d better thank you for taking me to a luxury hotel in LA for five days” Ali chuckled and kissed her girl again, surprising her with her eyes still closed. “I can’t think of a better way to celebrate our anniversary.”

“Mmmmmm” Ashlyn hummed into the next kiss and felt her wife smiling against her lips. “You need to use your imagination more woman” the keeper teased as they pulled back from the kiss. “But don’t worry, I got you” she grinned lasciviously and moved her lips down to Ali’s warm neck while grabbing two big handfuls of her ass.

The truth was, the trip was going to be a whirlwind and about as far from relaxing as you could imagine. But they were making the most out of it that they could. They left Boston early Monday afternoon and went to dinner with the big wigs from American Express. Tuesday and Wednesday were both spent on set all day from about 10am to 8pm, although they had finished early on day 2 at about 6pm. They had gone to a fancy but late dinner Tuesday night, last night, to celebrate the anniversary of being together for 13 Februaries and then gone back to the hotel and passed out from exhaustion and jet lag. Tomorrow, Thursday was the taping of the Ellen Special with Hilary Knight, Megan Rapinoe and her wife Sue Bird. Hilary had brought her best friend Brittany Ott, or Otter as she was commonly called, along for company and they had plans to get together for dinner and catching up that night with Ali and Ashlyn. After taping the show on Thursday, the anniversary couple would finally have some time to relax before flying home Friday morning. But both Ashlyn and Ali knew that they would end up hanging out with the other guests on the show afterwards for a little while, at least. The last time Ashlyn and Hilary were on Ellen’s show the comedian invited them back to her house for dinner afterwards. They knew there was a pretty good chance that would happen again tomorrow night too.

But they couldn’t linger another day in the city of angels. As soon as they got home Friday afternoon they had to get the entire family packed up and ready to fly down to Disney World on Saturday morning for February vacation week. The Four families were all going this trip and it had been planned out for over 18 months. Both Sydney and Whitney were going to come over Friday afternoon and help the busy Kriegers get everything done. That’s what besties were for, after all.

“Ooooh” Ali giggled seductively which drove Ashlyn wild as her lips worked on the brunette’s neck. “I love when you use your imagination” she flirted and wrapped her arms around her keeper’s shoulders, letting one hand tug at the short hair at the back of her neck.

It had always been a turn-on for the brunette to watch Ashlyn do her thing on camera. It didn’t matter if it was for the World Cup in their own garage or at the ESPN studios in Connecticut or here on this sound stage in Los Angeles. Seeing her gorgeous keeper under the lights and in front of the camera being smart and charming and funny and confident always made Ali’s body respond. Today had been no different. It wasn’t only goosebumps that Ashlyn had caused in her wife.

There was a loud knock on the door and they just barely had time to separate themselves before the young production assistant stuck his head inside to make sure they had everything they needed and let them know their car would be there in 20 minutes. After coming back together for a quick, much more innocent embrace and kiss, Ashlyn got changed while Ali responded to some work emails on her phone. The brunette casually kept her eyes on her wife’s body the whole time, enjoying the show Ashlyn didn’t even realize she was putting on.

“What time are we meeting Hilary and Otter?” Ali asked, her voice lower than normal as her desire rose steadily, eyes still on the hot blonde across the small room.

“7:30pm” Ashlyn answered, unaware of the changing temperature around her. “But with this traffic it’ll probably take us the whole hour to get there” she chuckled and looked up at her wife once she was done getting dressed again.

Ashlyn looked as hot as she always did in her tight, light blue jeans with a simple, thin, white sleeveless t-shirt on over her black bra. Normally Ali didn’t like when the bra was purposefully a contrasting color, but she had changed her mind after her wife started working the style. She licked her lips as she raked her eyes down past the black button up shirt that was completely unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up to Ashlyn’s elbows, and all the way down to the black combat boots on her feet. The keeper wore a couple of thin, silver chains around her neck, one of her many big silver watches, several rings and her favorite skull stud earrings. When she was done shoving her wallet and phone and a few random things back into her stylish black backpack, Ashlyn stood up and finally caught the lustful look on her wife’s flushed face.

“You look good enough to eat” Ali drawled with a sexy smirk and another lick of her lips.

“Do I now?” the keeper smirked back and walked towards her wife and the door, slinging the bag over one shoulder. “Well, you look like you haven’t eaten in weeks” she flirted in a low, thick voice as she moved in front of Ali, one hand on the door knob, the other on her bag’s shoulder strap by her side.

“Where do you think you’re going?” the brunette quirked her eyebrow and licked her lips again. She stepped into Ashlyn and put her hand between her legs, cupping the blonde’s crotch and squeezing not quite as gently as she might usually.

“Jesus...” Ashlyn whispered and swallowed hard as the contact sent waves of excitement through the rest of her body.

“You think you can bring me all the way to California and not fuck me for two whole days?” Ali’s sultry challenge made the keeper’s heart skip a beat, with her hot lips right up close to her ear.

“Tonight baby” she swallowed again and tried to control herself. “Tonight’s the night. As soon as we’re done with dinner. I’m gonna fuck you so good you won’t even know where you are anymore” she leaned into Ali’s hand and ground down against it as another knock rattled the door.

“Car’s here!”

Five minutes later they were situated in the back of a limousine, driving off the lot and heading into LA’s notorious traffic. Ashlyn had settled back into the seat, playing with the buttons and knobs that activated the sound system in the back of the limo while Ali moved up to the backwards-facing seat to ask the driver several specific questions about how private their conversations would be back there. She lied and made it sound like they had important contract details to discuss during their drive to the restaurant. After receiving assurances that once the dividing partition between the front seat and the back of the limo was up they would have complete privacy, Ali turned around to face the back of the limo and her gorgeous keeper. She grinned as she heard the divider click into place behind her head. The inside of the limo wasn’t anything new or fancy. It was standard gear and setup for a limo in LA. There were two typical leather car seats facing each other, the one Ashlyn was sitting on and the one Ali was sitting on. They were about 6 feet apart from each other with about 2-1/2 feet of floor space between them. Everything was black leather with burnished wood accents on the door handles and the frames around the tinted windows and the divider panel. It wasn’t a stretch limo and it didn’t have secret television panels that popped up or built-in coolers between the seats. There was a sound system and Ashlyn had already found a playlist that was loud and sexy enough without screaming ‘we’re fucking to this playlist back here yo yo!’. But the limo was clean and roomy and private. It would do just fine for what the horny brunette had in mind.

“You don’t really want to talk to me about super-secret contracts, do you?” Ashlyn teased, enjoying her beautiful brunette’s efforts to find them some time to have sex.

“I do not” Ali replied, her voice low and her eyes dark as she stared back at her wife.

“Sooo...did you have something else in mind then?”

“I did.” Her face slowly turned into a sexy grin as she pulled her pretty, floral blouse over her head.

Ashlyn watched, transfixed, for the next couple of minutes as the limo bumped along in traffic and her wife removed her pretty pink bra, black jeans, pink panties and stylish, 3” heeled black boots. Ali watched her keeper take her in with her hungry hazel eyes, wondering what was going through her head as the distant sounds of car horns and truck hydraulics faded into the heavy music from the speakers all around them. The brunette sat back up, her knees demurely together and her back against the slick black leather seat as she slowly moved her hands up her own thighs towards her abs and waist. Ashlyn sat so still that Ali wondered if she had done something wrong or if her keeper wasn’t as interested as she had first thought. It took another minute, the brunette’s hands travelling across her own body and cupping her own breasts with a small moan and the tiniest arching of her back, before Ashlyn moved. And when she moved it was with swift efficiency and direct purpose. Ali was sure she had never seen the blonde take her clothes off so quickly before. While the keeper stripped off the clothes she had just recently put back on, the brunette began to open her legs for her. It was painfully, torturously slow and Ashlyn’s eyes zeroed in on the top of the dark curls she could see just above the tops of Ali’s thighs.

“Fuck Al...” Ashlyn swallowed hard again when she finally saw the beautiful flower between her wife’s thick thighs. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack if you keep this up” she chuckled and it sounded more like a groan than anything else.

“Oh, we can’t have that now, can we?” Ali smirked and slowly began to close her legs again.

“No! Don’t!” Ashlyn gasped out as she finally freed herself from the last stich of clothing on her body and lunged forward. She landed on her knees in between Ali’s legs but didn’t touch the body she desired so much. “I love the way you make my heart pound, baby” she lifted her eyes up to the smoky whiskey-colored ones that were practically boring holes into her own head. “Please, don’t ever stop doing that to me” she begged, literally on her knees and wordlessly pleading for permission to taste her.

As soon as Ali opened her legs wide again for her, Ashlyn felt her own juices starting to collect between her own thighs. God this woman was incredible. The keeper opened her mouth to speak but just then the limo driver slammed on the brakes and Ashlyn’s body fell forward into her wife’s which pressed up against the back of the seat, not going very far at all.

“Well, hello there” Ali laughed, but it came from low in her throat as her body responded to Ashlyn’s pushed up against it. They were breast to breast with the keeper’s hips up against the inside of Ali’s thighs and her long strong arms braced against the seat on either side of Ali’s shoulders. “Mmmmmmm...” she moaned as her skin registered all of the contact between their two bodies. “Fuck, you feel good.”

There was a brief pause as their eyes locked onto each other and everything else was still. But then Ashlyn crashed their lips together in a hungry kiss that was urgent and sloppy and delicious. The limo lurched forward, threatening to separate their bodies again but Ali reached out and grabbed her wife around her waist, pulling her in close again while they continued their passionate kiss. The kiss and the contact and the uneven motion of the vehicle all wreaked havoc in Ashlyn’s mind. The illicit nature of a limousine tryst, with a strange man doing the driving behind a privacy panel added to the odd mixture of things turning the keeper on and driving her wild. She’d been worked up ever since Ali had put her hand between her legs back in the dressing room as they flirted near the door. Now she was barely in control of herself as she continued kissing and touching her wife in the back of the limo.

“Damn baby” she panted as they took a break to get some air. “How much do we need to pay him to just keep driving around all night?” she asked, only half-joking.

“Just shut up and fuck me...I need you, Ash.”

Ali tried to lean forward and push her girl backwards towards the floor or the other seat so she could have her way with her. She was dying for a taste of her keeper’s other lips. But Ashlyn put her hand in her wife’s chest and pushed her back into the seat, keeping pressure there to hold her in place. The move and display of strength made Ali’s eyes darken even further.

“Not so fast” she pinched one of the brunette’s nipples and then moved both hands to her hips, swiftly pulling them forward so her ass was hanging off the edge of the seat. 

“Oh, Jesus, yes...” Ali moaned at the pinch and the forceful actions from her wife, spreading her legs out wide and running her hand through her own soaked folds in anticipation.

Ashlyn slapped her hand away.

“This pussy is mine” she growled, her own eyes now impossibly dark as she knelt between her wife’s legs. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes, shit yes” Ali felt like she would die if she couldn’t feel her keeper’s long strong fingers inside her right that minute. “Just...fuck me, please!”

Ashlyn felt her heart pounding in her chest and heard the blood rushing in her ears as her body tried to maintain control. She grazed the back of her fingers across Ali’s mound and down past her clit, making the brunette moan again and tilt her hips up hopefully. Ashlyn gave her another passionate kiss while she moved her free hand to play with her breast and tease her nipple again. Ali was squirming underneath her, unable to keep her body still any longer. The keeper brought her lips down to her wife’s other breast and sucked on the nipple hard. Ali moaned loudly and pressed Ashlyn’s face to her breast with a hand at the back of her head. Ashlyn felt her wife’s other hand on her back, the blunt nails digging into her skin and undoubtedly leaving marks there. She sucked in a breath and gently bit Ali’s nipple in return.

“Shit. Mmmmm...fuck me Ashlyn...fuck me baby...”

The sexy, low sound of Ali’s voice made Ashlyn shudder. She turned her hand over and shoved two fingers inside her wife’s dripping pussy without another second’s hesitation. 

“Oh my God...yes...” Ali breathed out as she felt her nails break the skin on her keeper’s back.

Ashlyn groaned and slid her mouth over to the brunette’s other breast while she pumped over and over and over again into her silky walls. She could feel short, hot breaths from Ali’s mouth against the top of her head and the sting from her nails in her back. She thrusted faster and harder into the brunette’s pulsing center, rocking her body with every strong stroke. Ali lifted her knees up and let them flop around as she began to get lost in all the incredible sensations her keeper was giving her. She wanted to open herself up more so Ashlyn could get even deeper with those amazing fingers of hers, but after another minute of the fast-paced pumping she couldn’t hold her boneless legs steady anymore. The wet, sloppy sounds from between her legs filled the airspace around them, somehow louder even than the music and the traffic horns. A few small beads of sweat rolled down the middle of Ashlyn’s back and stung the flesh wounds there, making her hiss and pause for just a split second before redoubling her efforts. Ali’s whole body bounced along to Ashlyn’s rough thrusts as the keeper moved back to the other breast again for one last suck. She straightened up, keeping her left hand pinching and tugging on the brunette’s nipples, while she focused her mouth on Ali’s aching clit.

“Fuck...unnnhhhh...fuck...oh mmmmmmm...yes...” the brunette’s moans were almost unintelligible now.

Ashlyn sucked her whole clit into her mouth, too impatient to tease her anymore. She flicked her tongue against the nub while she held it in her mouth, loving the way Ali’s entire body jolted to the next level at the new contact. 

“Mmmmmm...Mmmmmm...” the keeper moaned loudly against her wife’s sensitive bud.

“Oh God...” Ali husked out, her eyes shut and her mouth starting to go slack as she felt her orgasm close at hand. A few more flicks from Ashlyn’s strong tongue and she was flying. “Oh God...oh my fucking God...Ashlyn!!!!”

Her yells filled the back of the limo as she came hard, bracing herself with her arms against the seat on either side of her. Ashlyn felt her walls squeezing her fingers as her passion spilled all around them. She lifted her lips away from Ali’s most sensitive spot and licked her way up her trembling and twitching body, taking her time while she slowly stroked her through her high. Just when she would normally have pulled her fingers out, the keeper started making the come hither motion and directing her fingertips to Ali’s g-spot. She pressed the heel of her palm right into her wife’s still-sensitive clit and moved her whole hand up and down, lifting Ali’s lower body up about an inch and then letting it fall against the soft seat each time. Ashlyn’s lips found one nipple and then the other, gentler than before, as she continued to increase her pace between her wife’s legs.

Ali let out a low, long guttural groan as her body tried to figure out what was happening. She opened her eyes and tried to focus on her keeper but everything was a delicious hazy blur as her senses kept swimming. How was this even possible? How could her body be responding like this so soon after that huge orgasm she had just had? 

“Come for me again baby” Ashlyn breathed out her command as she brought their lips together in a tender but urgent kiss.

Ali wrapped her arms around her keeper’s strong back, holding her in place against her chest as her clit reacted to her strong, persistent hand. 

“How?...” she mumbled against Ashlyn’s lips. “What are you doing to me?...” she began to pant again as her body did a smooth 180 degree turn back towards the top of the mountain again. “Oh fucking hell...” she gasped as she felt the pleasure starting to rise quickly now.

“That’s it, don’t fight it” the keeper murmured in her ear, releasing her lips so she could breathe. She nibbled on her earlobe, tugging it between her teeth and then licking the edge of her ear with the tip of her tongue. “Your body is fucking amazing. So strong and so soft...” she whispered hotly against Ali’s neck as she worked her way down towards her pulse point. “I wish I could spend all day every day in your arms like this...you’re so fucking beautiful...I love you so much, baby.”

It was impossible for Ali to know whether it was the sweet and sultry words coming from her keeper’s mouth or the strong, sexy sensations coming from her keeper’s talented right hand that did the trick for her. But when it came right down to it, she didn’t really care. All she knew was that somehow, the pressure on both her clit and her g-spot was just right as her wife lifted her up over and over again.

“Holy shit, I’m gonna come again” she gasped out, sounding just as surprised as she felt. “Yes baby, yes...yesssssssssss!!!!” she shouted as her second orgasm in as many minutes ripped through her quivering body.

Ashlyn immediately pulled her hand away from her wife’s over-sensitive pussy and buried her face in her sweaty neck with a moan of her own that was barely audible compared to the brunette’s pleasure-filled yell. The keeper enjoyed feeling every twitch and spasm her wife’s gorgeous body made beneath her as she continued to place soft, sweet kisses to her neck and throat and jaw and chin while she recovered. She could feel Ali’s heart racing in her own ribcage as it rested right against it, both chests heaving.

“I love you baby. I love you so much. I fucking love you so fucking much” she mumbled sweetly between the kisses as Ali’s breathing started to come back to normal.

“Holy fucking shit babe” Ali’s voice sounded ragged and completely worn out but there was a satisfied grin covering her pretty, flushed face. “Where have you been hiding that little maneuver?” she chuckled and pulled her wife’s face away from her neck so she could look at it. She held Ashlyn’s face in her hands and gave her a soft kiss. “Thank you. That was unbelievable.”

“Well, I figured I’d better try and learn a few new tricks if I’m gonna keep you satisfied now that you’re all famous and popular and everything” the keeper winked and then made a show of licking one of her fingers clean, knowing it drove her girl crazy. “Can’t have you leaving me for somebody more famous now.”

The truth was that their chat with their therapist about keeping a healthy marriage alive and well had stuck with both women long after they had left Mattie’s office. Ashlyn had joked about learning a few new recipes so they didn’t have to eat the same three meals for the rest of their lives, but she had taken the advice to heart and started to do a little research of her own.

“Stop” Ali quirked her eyebrow at the keeper. “I can’t even feel my legs” she giggled. “You broke me. Stop teasing me” she smacked Ashlyn’s bare ass with her hand.

“What? It’s true. You’re viral-video-famous now after the K-H holiday party video of you kicking everybody’s ass at ping pong blew up on all our social media” she chuckled as she licked off a second finger. The popularity of the video had finally forced Ali to make her social media accounts public after so many years enjoying relative privacy for her posts. Both Whitney and Ashlyn convinced her that it would be beneficial for the business and she had finally given in. “Cambridge’s Businesswoman of the Year for 2028 with the fancy dinner and speech three weeks ago and that nice plaque they gave you” she slurped up another finger, enjoying how closely Ali was watching her. “The Boston University Alumnae Achievement award and dinner last week” she slid the fourth finger into her mouth as her dimpled grin lit up her face. “And the BU alumnae magazine cover coming out next month too” she lifted her thumb – the final passion-covered digit, towards her mouth only to have her beautiful brunette redirect it with her hand into her own mouth.

“Mmmmm...” she hummed her approval as she sucked hard on Ashlyn’s thumb and slid her other hand between her keeper’s legs.

“Hey” Ashlyn chuckled and then let out a low moan when she felt Ali’s hand sliding through her drenched folds. “I was looking forward to that one” she exhaled and closed her eyes for a second, trying to steady herself.

“Too bad you big tease” Ali grinned back at her as she pushed her keeper so she was lying on her back on the limo seat next to her. “It’s my turn now and we can’t screw around. There’s not much time left...”

“Well who’s fault is that?” the keeper teased back as she bent one leg up at the knee against the back of the limo seat and spread the other leg out wide, resting it on the floor of the limo.

“Yours! One amazing orgasm would have been more than enough” Ali laughed, not able to keep a straight face no matter how hard she tried. “Oh just zip it and let me get to work.”

“Oh, so it’s a job now” Ashlyn’s eyes danced and went wide, enjoying messing with her wife. “Well, don’t put yourself out or anything on my account.”

“Shut it, you!” Ali laughed again and pinched her wife hard on the inside of her thigh.

“Ow!” Ashlyn laughed, even though it really hurt. “Alright, alright, geez I thought you weren’t into S&M” she rubbed the area of the pinch as Ali got into position between her legs.

“Just stop talking, will you?”

“Well, I’m just trying to understand why I’m in trouble when I gave you two big orgasms and let you steal one of my delicious fingers, and...”

She couldn’t finish the rest of her playful tease because Ali had pressed their lips together in a deep, passionate kiss that kept them both busy for several minutes. She let her hands get to work as well, one at her wife’s pretty pink nipple and the other between her long legs. She smirked into the kiss when she felt and heard Ashlyn moan into her mouth at the tantalizing new contact.

“Are you finally gonna shut up now?” Ali asked when they broke for air, both panting and smiling sexily at each other.

“Yes ma’am” Ashlyn nodded and then groaned in pleasure as her wife continued working on her with both hands. “If you keep doing that, I promise I’ll never talk again.”


	2. February Fun

The Ellen Special taping was even more fun than they thought it was going to be. And they thought it was going to be pretty fucking fun. The real winners were the studio audience members who laughed more during the day of filming than anybody really had a right to. Ellen’s first guests were Megan Rapinoe, USWNT and NWSL great, and her wife Sue Bird, former all-world basketball player in the WNBA and for the USWNT. After talking with the couple about their individual achievements over their incredible careers, Megan’s WWC 2015 victory and 2012 Olympic Gold medal and Sue’s two WNBA Championships and four Olympic Gold medals, Ellen asked them about their wildly popular girls empowerment program and several other charitable endeavors that they had sponsored or funded over the years. They really were the ultimate power couple. At 43 and 48, respectively, Rapinoe and Bird were both still vibrant and engaging personalities who looked gorgeous to boot. It was clear to everyone in the audience that their 8-year marriage was still going strong too. Each woman took time to heap praise on and dole out compliments to the other and they still held hands as they sat next to each other on the couch. They had both been guests on Ellen’s show a couple of times before and they seemed relaxed and at ease with both the host and the cameras as they laughed and joked and played to the audience. Megan Rapinoe was a hambone of the first order and she made Ashlyn Harris look shy and retiring in comparison. She was a riot and she had her wife and Ellen laughing throughout most of their segment.

Ashlyn and Hilary were the next guests and Ellen talked to them both about what they had been up to since their last appearance on her show. Ashlyn filled her in on the goings-on inside the big old house with her boisterous brood and her three companies – The Academy, The Mental Health Initiative and Knight-Harris. Hilary answered questions about her successful line of women’s hockey equipment and her world-class training facility for girls’ hockey out in Sun Valley, Idaho. Knight had retired to Idaho and created quite a nice life for herself. She still did quite a bit of travelling, promoting her business ventures, and that included at least four trips to Boston every year to keep tabs on Knight-Harris and cast her vote at the quarterly shareholders meetings.

“So Hilary, I’ve gotta ask because everybody watching wants to know” Ellen started with a warm smile. “Why are you still single?”

The audience clapped wildly while Hilary, who would be turning 40 later that July, blushed and squirmed in her seat. 

“Geez Ellen” the hockey star rolled her eyes at the grinning host and then cast a quick, pleading glance at Ashlyn sitting next to her on the couch.

“Don’t look at me” the keeper quipped and the audience laughed.

“No, I mean really” Ellen took control of the interview again. “You’re beautiful, you’re talented, you’re smart, you’re an accomplished businesswoman, you smell nice...” everybody laughed again. “What is wrong with the world that somebody hasn’t come along and swept you off your feet?”

“Well, I’m 5’11” so that’s no easy job” Hilary chuckled and cleared her throat, knowing Ellen had just eased her into the portion of the interview that Hilary was nervous about but eager to participate in.

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way” the host joked.

“True, very true” Hilary nodded and smiled. “I don’t know” she shrugged. “Maybe it’s not in the cards for me. I’ve got a pretty great life and my two babies keep me busy and happy...”

“Right, and we have a picture of them don’t we?” Ellen asked over her shoulder towards her producer.

The big screen behind them lit up with an adorable picture of Hilary Knight’s two bulldogs, making the crowd sing out their ‘awwwwws’.

“So seriously” Ellen turned back to her guest and got more serious. “I know this is important to you and I don’t mean to make light of it. You’ve been getting more involved in politics out there in Idaho over the past few years, is that right?”

“Yeah, that’s right. I um, well, Idaho is a pretty conservative state and there were some laws that were more restrictive than most of the citizens thought they should be so we fought hard to get them changed” Hilary explained carefully.

Ashlyn realized as she sat quietly listening to her friend, that she had never heard Hilary Knight nervous on camera before. Not until right that minute.

“And one of those laws we changed was the marriage equality act...”

The audience erupted in cheers that went on for a couple of minutes before Ellen took control again.

“And that law was important to you.”

“It was. It is” Hilary took a breath and blushed a little bit. “I have always had tons of friends” she nodded towards Ashlyn, “and teammates who were gay or LGBTQ so I always had a hard time watching them suffer through the restrictions in my adopted home state.”

“That’s right, you’re originally from California...” the host noted.

“Born in Cali and raised outside of Chicago, but then my family moved to Sun Valley and it’s been home ever since” she clarified.

“I tried to get her to stay in Boston, but no dice” Ashlyn sighed sadly and then winked.

“Anyway” Hilary chuckled. 

“So, anyway, you ended up, in an article last year, coming out as bi for the first time” Ellen finally got to the point they had been trying to get to for what felt like forever.

The audience got to their feet and cheered louder than ever. Hilary blushed again and then laughed and then looked utterly relieved by the warm, welcoming response to her news. Ashlyn reached over and patted her friend’s leg as they shared a quick smile.

“So how’s that going for you?” Ellen grinned at her as the crowd eventually simmered down.

“It’s been great, really great” Hilary nodded. “I mean, the last thing I ever expected to do was announce to the world that I’m bi, I’ve just always kept that part of my life private – my relationship life. But as they were interviewing me about the laws we were fighting so hard to get changed it seemed almost rude or offensive NOT to sort of be honest and upfront about it. Not that it’s anybody’s business but my own, but I don’t know...it felt like I needed to let everybody I was going into battle with know that I had a vested interest in the outcome too. It’s hard to explain.”

They talked for a few minutes about how supportive her sponsors and other business associates had been and were continuing to be. Ellen asked about how her family took the news and if she had noticed any different behavior from her babies because of it.

“No, everybody’s good. They’re all behind me and they all still love me” Hilary laughed, relieved that they were almost done with the subject even though she had told the producers that she was fine with talking about it.

“The good news is that now you’ve got twice the population to find a boyfriend or a girlfriend” Ellen teased and then laughed out loud at her own silly joke. Ashlyn doubled over laughing along with the audience as well as Hilary.

“I think I’m just supposed to be a confirmed bachelorette” the hockey star quipped and smirked, getting back to her normal, easy-going personality. “And I’m ok with that.”

“Alright, well there’s only one thing left to ask now and that’s whether the two of you ever hooked up” Ellen gave both Ashlyn and Hilary a pointed look as the audience roared with laughter and shock.

Both guests were surprised and slightly embarrassed by the question but they laughed too. They knew Ellen was just joking and trying to get a reaction out of them.

“No Ellen” Ashlyn shook her head, with pink cheeks and her dimpled grin on display.

“Well, it would explain your incredible chemistry together. All those commercials you’ve done over the years...it was easy to see there was a connection there.”

“Have you met her wife?” Hilary pointed her thumb towards Ashlyn and raised her eyebrows up high. “We all wish we were as lucky as Ashlyn.”

“Speaking of Ashlyn’s wife” Ellen began with a playful look on her face. “We’ve got a couple of surprise guests who are going to join us out here after the break. And we’re bringing Sue and Megan back out too for some fun and games. Come on back. You won’t want to miss it.”

Ashlyn and Hilary exchanged confused looks as they stopped taping. They didn’t have to wonder long about what the host had up her sleeve because right after Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird walked back onto the set for the next segment which was going to be a competition where the guests played several of Ellen’s infamous games, Ali and Brittany Ott walked out onto the stage too. The six guests all greeted each other and Ellen introduced them all to the studio audience as they got mic’d up for the next segment. When they began taping again Ellen talked with all six women for a few minutes as they stood there on the stage. Ashlyn introduced Ali as her wife and the brains of every operation they were involved in. And Hilary introduced her best friend.

“This is Otter and she’s been my best friend for almost 20 years now. She’s one of the best hockey goalies I’ve ever played with, or against, and she’s a kick-ass EMT back in Boston now that we’re both old and retired.”

“And have you two ever hooked up?” Ellen joked.

“Have you seen her dogs?” Otter deadpanned without skipping a beat, making Ellen, and everybody else, crack up.

“I feel like we should just make it very clear that the only people who have hooked up are the two married couples” Megan interjected with perfect timing. 

“And not with each other!” Ashlyn added, motioning between Megan and Sue and then she and Ali. “I mean, only with each other” she tried again and felt Ali smack her arm and laugh even louder. “Aw, you know what I mean” she gave up and joined the laughter.

“That’s right” Megan started again. “Only married hooking up going on here. Unless there’s something you’d like to share with the group Ellen?”

The joking and teasing went on like that for the rest of the afternoon as they played different games and competed against each other in pairs. As they were about to start the first game, Ellen eyed up the 3 sets of teammates and made her prediction.

“I know five of you were professional athletes and three of you represented our country on the international stage, but my money’s on Ali” her voice was clear and steady.

“Well I hope it’s not a lot of money” Ali chuckled and made the group laugh again.

“I’ve seen your video” Ellen squinted at her, referring to the viral video from the holiday party where Ali outplayed Hilary, Ashlyn and Whitney at ping pong. “You’re not fooling me.”

By the time the afternoon taping concluded, all six contestants were exhausted and completely laughed out. Hilary kept complaining that her sides hurt from all the laughing while Sue added that her cheeks hurt from smiling so damned much. The competitive results were incredibly even. There were six games and each ‘couple’ had won two of them, but not by very much. Each game had been very evenly contested and all three couples finished in remarkably close times, one right after the other. At the end of the taping, Ellen announced that it was a 3-way tie and that each of the charities they were playing for would receive the same ‘winning’ check from Ellen. It was a typically generous gesture from the comedian – she tripled the amount of money she had agreed to give away as part of the original plan for the special without blinking an eye.

And, just as they suspected, they were all invited to Ellen’s house for dinner that evening followed by game night. It would have been hard to say where they had more fun, the studio or the house. Ellen and Portia were lovely hosts and everybody enjoyed meeting and hanging out with all of their pets. Ashlyn, as was always the case, was the pet magnet and even Ellen’s shyest dog had come out of hiding to snuggle up with the keeper.

“That’s how you know” Ellen nodded across the coffee table towards Ashlyn and the normally painfully shy little dog. “If the dogs like them then that’s how you know they’re alright” she smiled softly at Portia.

“I’d say it’s a pretty good group then” Portia smiled back as she saw a dog or cat on almost everybody’s lap.

Only poor Otter didn’t have a fur baby on or near her, simply because there weren’t enough to go around for the 8 women in the room.

“So what are you trying to say?” the former goalie gave Portia an offended look, quirking her eyebrow for extra effect.

Everyone laughed for what must have been the millionth time that night.

“That it’s time to get another dog” Ellen laughed.

It was a day none of the guests would ever forget. Every part of it had been fun and comfortable and enjoyable. Ashlyn and Megan had met a number of times in the past when they were both playing in the NWSL and even on a youth national team at one point. Ali knew all of the ex-athletes because they were all clients of Knight-Harris. Only Sue and Otter hadn’t met before but they had hit it off right away as if they had been old friends too. It had been the kind of night that you didn’t want to ever end. Good food, great music, lots of wine and whiskey, excellent company and a rousing game of charades rounded out the perfect gathering for all of them. As the evening came to a close Ali couldn’t help but look around her in awe of everything and everybody in the room. Never in a million years did she expect to be having dinner and game night at Ellen freaking DeGeneres’ house in LA. Never. But there she was. She felt sort of the same way she had felt the first time she met Mia Hamm at The Academy - almost like she was watching somebody else’s awesome life instead of her own. It just didn’t feel real sometimes. Being with Ashlyn had brought her so many good things in her life, their kids and family at the top of the list of course, but Ali sucked in a breath at the thought that she was probably going to be on the Ellen Special when it aired in March. Unless they had to edit all of her parts out for some reason, which would have been impossible because she was in every one of the 6 games they taped, Alexandra Blaire Krieger would be coming to you through your tvs in a month. How the hell did that happen? How in the world was this her life? 

As she and her keeper spent the last few minutes of consciousness late that night enjoying their naked skin against each other, they both were thinking the same grateful thoughts. Their life together was incredible and they were humbled by their immense good fortune.

//

“Ahhh...this is the life right here” Sydney sighed loudly as she closed her eyes and rested her head back against the big, round tube she was floating in. 

“You’re not kidding” Ali giggled and looked around furtively, unable to believe their luck at being left alone to float aimlessly along with the current. “All I need is a pretty drink with an umbrella in it to make my life complete right now” she laughed again and adjusted her grip on Sydney’s tube.

The two best friends had started their peaceful journey around the Castaway Creek lazy river tube ride at Disney World’s Typhoon Lagoon with their five youngest, Dom and Molly and Penny Cross. But somehow, magically, Molly, Dom and all 6 kids had sped up and left them behind. All four grown-ups knew that most of the 6 young kids wouldn’t have the patience to just sit back and let the current carry them along the creek that wound its way around the perimeter of the large water park. God love Molly and Dom for opting to keep up with them as they awkwardly paddled to gain some speed and get to the end of the ride first. The four-family kids group was just as competitive as their parents and tried to turn everything into a race. Without fail. But it had yielded an unplanned, but very welcome, 20 minutes of peace and quiet for Ali and Sydney and they weren’t going to rush it if they didn’t have to. They floated and chatted quietly and just let the current take them. It was wonderful knowing that Molly, Dom, and the lifeguards would take care of any crises involving the kids that might crop up in those special 20 minutes.

The four families had finally, after almost 2 years of planning, managed to take a week-long Disney World vacation together during February vacation that year. The logistics and scheduling had challenged even the expert and practiced planners among them like Molly and Ali. Some sacrifices had had to be made, like Meg Doucette and Noah Cross both missing basketball tournaments, to make it all work but once they had all arrived and settled in there were very few regrets. The four-family children were all getting bigger and the parents knew that it was now or never. Basically, as soon as Whitney had given birth to Tommy they had begun planning this trip.

The kids’ ages that February of 2029 were:

Noah Cross 13.2 years  
Evan Cross 8.10  
Penny Cross 6.11

Cassius Dwyer 11.5  
James Dwyer 7.3  
Maddox Dwyer 4.11

Meg Doucette 16.11  
Drew Krieger 9.9  
Josie Krieger 7.8  
Dodge Krieger 5.9  
Lily Krieger 5.9

Becca Flanagan 3.11  
Tommy Flanagan 1.8

And the grown-ups were all between 41 and 44 years old that February themselves. Quite a difference from back in 2015 when they had all been meeting each other for the first time.

Picking a Disney resort that was good for everybody had been even more challenging. They finally agreed on the Animal Kingdom and, because Molly was the best planner and organizer anybody had ever known, were able to reserve one of the private lodges that had been designed specifically for groups like theirs. It was basically like the big lake house in New Hampshire that they had been vacationing at for so many years, but with a wild Animal Kingdom theme. There were enough bedrooms and bathrooms to go around, and a big living room / great room area with a dining table at the far end overlooking one of the wild animal areas. They had a fully functional kitchen that they could stock and use for the week and the resort staff still came in every day and made the beds and tidied up the common spaces. The guests were discouraged from bringing the food they cooked in the kitchen into the park, except for the really small kids, and the group honored that request. It was too good of a deal not to. All of the kids enjoyed being so close to the Animal Kingdom and the week went by without too many hitches. There was the usual amount of breakdowns, hissy fits and temper tantrums but nothing truly traumatic had happened. Lily almost lost her shit the very first night when she realized they were sleeping inside the reserve with all the other animals, who were safely restricted from the handful of lodges on the property, but was told she couldn’t actually go sleep with them. Other than that, the kids had been pretty good, for kids.

The four families went to all the different Disney theme parks and then back again. That was the beauty of staying on property, as it was called. It was easy to hop on the monorail or a bus and get wherever you wanted to go. There were 12 kids and 8 adults and Meg who definitely wasn’t just a kid anymore. They typically got up early and ate breakfast and then dashed off to the park on that day’s agenda. The parents huddled up each evening to formulate a strategy for the next day so they could divide and conquer if necessary. Sometimes they all went together, 21 strong, and other times they did things in smaller groups depending on who was interested in what. Whitney and Ryan were at a little bit of a disadvantage in that Tommy was really too little to get much out of the vacation. He had a great time but he certainly wouldn’t remember it. But all of the other parents in the group made sure both Flanagans got to go out and do fun stuff with all of the kids as often as possible. The group had always done that for each other and it wasn’t going to stop now that the kids were getting older. They tried to come back to the lodge for a couple of hours each afternoon if they could talk the kids into it. The youngsters needed some rest and down time whether they were smart enough to ask for it or not. They built in a day towards the end of the week where they just hung out at the water park and relaxed. Of course everybody preferred Typhoon Lagoon to Blizzard Beach which wasn’t really a big deal, except that Blizzard Beach was right next to the Animal Kingdom and so much easier to get to. But Typhoon Lagoon had a wave pool where they could surf and boogie board so it naturally won out. Molly just rolled her eyes, admitting defeat in her well-laid plans to be so close to a water park and having it not be the ‘right’ water park.

There were many different age groups and interests that pulled the large group into opposite directions sometimes but there were enough adults to make it work. That afternoon, for example, they were relaxing at Typhoon Lagoon and Ashlyn, Whitney and Ryan had taken the big boys – Noah, Cassius, Drew and Evan, to the water slides. Niki and Meg had stayed behind in the quietest Beachcomber shack of the three the group had reserved, to watch Becca and Tommy during their naps. That left the four floating adults, Ali, Sydney, Dom and Molly, in charge of Josie, James, Penny, Dodge, Lily and Maddox as they drifted along Castaway Creek. Becca was just starting to get used to shorter naps and would be finished with them sooner than anybody really wanted. That’s why Meg stayed behind. It was always nice to spend some quality time with Niki, whom the teenager had always liked and admired, but she was really dying to hang out with sweet little Becca bug. Meg missed most of the events the four families shared during the year so she didn’t get to spend much time with the other kids. It didn’t bother her to miss the often-gross shenanigans of the pre-pubescent bigger boys. But she missed the little cuties. Maddox and Becca were her two favorites that week. They were big enough to do a lot of things on their own but still young enough to need help with a good many other things. And of course her heart melted over Tommy, much as Ali’s did. 

It was a big adjustment for the rest of the adults to accept Meg as an almost-grown up. Sweet little Meg who used to call the keeper ‘Ashyun’ and laugh at almost everything anybody ever said was now a big, beautiful, almost-17 year old. It threw them all for a loop at first, and caused a stir with Noah and Cassius and their emerging hormones. Cassius was still only 11-1/2 and he hadn’t really gotten to puberty yet, but Noah had and the younger boy tried desperately to keep up. 

“He talks a good game, but it’s all for show” Sydney explained with a chuckle one evening after the kids were all in bed and the grown-ups had convened for some drinks and cards. Meg was in her room texting her friends and teammates. “He’s interested in girls and their bodies and sex, but he doesn’t really get it yet.”

“Just like his daddy” Ashlyn teased and quickly dodged the swat that Dom tried to deliver.

“Watch it now...” he playfully threatened. “You wouldn’t want me giving your boy bad advice now, would you?”

Everybody laughed and Ryan reassured Ali and Ashlyn.

“Don’t worry” he nodded. “I’ve got your back. Drew’s in good hands with me” he joked and flexed his large hands suggestively.

The whole table reacted with laughter and embarrassed moans as Whitney poked her husband in the ribs and blushed at his crude reference to teaching Drew how to handle himself as his urges increased towards puberty.

“Ugh, Noah’s figuring things out” Molly groaned and shook her head with a slight look of disgust on her face. “Teenage boys” she sighed and dropped her eyes.

“She walked in on him jerking off a couple of weeks ago” Niki offered gleefully, eyes twinkling as her wife groaned again and turned beet red.

“What?!” Ali’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t tell me that” she threw a piece of popcorn across the table at Molly as everybody else laughed or gasped at the news.

“How do you tell someone that you went into your son’s room, like you’d done a million times before, and gotten the shock of your life?” Molly whined, still not lifting her eyes.

“Oh Jesus” Sydney lifted her face up and said a quick, silent prayer. “I’m not ready for that.”

“Nobody ever is” Niki chuckled again. “I really thought she was going to hyperventilate. It took her a full ten minutes to calm down enough to even tell me what she saw.”

“What did you see?” Whitney asked, fear and worry creasing her face.

“Oh come on, give the boy a break now” Dom protested and leaned back in his chair as he locked eyes with Ryan for a few seconds, wordlessly asking for support.

“I can’t imagine what I would have done if my mom ever walked in on me” the big man added with a shake of his head. “Damn.”

“So what happened? You have to tell us now. You’ve got the oldest boy, you have to prepare us” Ashlyn persuaded, still pale-faced at the whole idea.

“Ugh, you guys...” Molly finally looked at the group around the table. “I’ll tell you only so you can try and prepare...I’m sorry son” she looked up at the ceiling and chuckled.

Molly gave them the short blow by blow of walking into Noah’s room to tell him it was time to come down for dinner. The Cross house was not very big so if they wanted privacy, even just for music or video games or tv, the kids went to their bedrooms a lot. Noah was the only one who had his own tv and video game system in his room and his moms monitored the usage. He wasn’t allowed to use either after bedtime, for example, and there was a parental lock on the tv that allowed them to enforce that rule. Noah had his headphones on, as he often did when he played his video games, and hadn’t heard his mother come into his room. His door had been ajar because he hadn’t closed it all the way in his haste to get online and fend off the zombie apocalypse with his friends. He sat leaning against a big reading pillow halfway down his bed, which was his preferred position so he could get closer to the tv screen. If he had been sitting against the head of his bed he would have seen his mother enter the room with his peripheral vision. But neither of them had been that lucky. If Molly had been paying more attention she would have noticed that the game screen was showing the common location where players gathered between games or after taking a break. It was like a live pause screen where the characters still moved around and interacted with each other and their environment if they chose to. But it was not an active part of the gameplay. Noah’s screen showed a close-up of another player – a scantily clad female with impossible physical proportions and a sexy pouty smirk on her unnatural face. Molly noted the headphones and walked up to her son and was about to touch him on his shoulder to get his attention when she saw his hand sliding up and down his erect penis at a breakneck pace. She gasped out loud but he still didn’t hear her between the headphones and the blood rushing in his ears.

“Oh my God” Ali shook her head, her jaw practically on the table. “Oh my God.”

“Tell me you let him finish...please” Dom rubbed his face with both hands.

Everybody around the table reacted to that in different ways and Dom was swatted, hit with popcorn, pinched and then winked at and nodded at and smiled at simultaneously. 

“I don’t know what happened” Molly finished her glass of wine before answering and Niki stood up to reach the bottle and refill her glass.

“You’re gonna need another glass, right sweetheart?”

“Oh shut up” Molly laughed and released some of the tension that had formed around the table and the touchy subject. “I closed my mouth, I remember that specifically because I bit my damned tongue I was so distracted” she chuckled at the memory. “And then I backed out of there...”

“Like a fucking ninja” Niki cackled as she took her seat again after kissing her wife’s cheek.

“So he didn’t know you saw him?” Ryan asked cautiously.

“I don’t think so” she exhaled. “He never said anything and I certainly never did.”

“That’s probably best” Dom nodded and smiled kindly at the two moms. “For everybody.”

“Why are you so giddy about it?” Whitney challenged Niki with a confused look on her face.

“Oh Whit, I’m just glad it wasn’t me” Niki grinned back. “This is sheer relief over here” she pointed at her own face. “Plus, this one was so freaking cute about it I still can’t think about it without laughing a little” she reached over and rubbed Molly’s shoulder. “Easily one of the top 3 funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Yeah, well you can start changing his sheets and doing more of his laundry” Molly quirked her eyebrow at her wife. “See how funny you think it is then.”

“Oh my God” Ali whispered, mortified by the whole entire conversation and what it meant for her life with Drew, and eventually Dodge, in the big old house.

“It’s ok hon” Ashlyn caught her wife’s eye from across the table, having heard her small, shocked voice. “Drew’s not even 10 yet. He’s not even close” she shook her head and gave Ali a sweet, reassuring smile. “We’ve got another 3 years, at least.”

A couple of hours later, as they got into bed for the night, Ali was frowning into her phone. 

“Tell me if any of this has happened to Drew yet...” she instructed her keeper who had just snuggled under the covers and turned off the light on her side of the smaller, full-size double bed. It took a little getting used to, compared to their big queen-sized bed at home, but they both enjoyed being closer to each other in the smaller bed. It was a nice change for a week. Ali read from her phone, “’increase in testicle size, increase in penis size, appearance of pubic hair or hair in the armpits’” she glanced down at Ashlyn. “Are you listening?”

“Yes baby, I’m listening and no, he’s still a hairless, harmless kid” the blonde yawned and curled herself over towards her wife, wrapping her arm across Ali’s stomach and pulling herself closer.

“Oh, ok, I think so too” she sighed in relief. “I feel better” the brunette replied as she continued to read. 

Neither mom regularly saw their eldest son’s naked body anymore because he showered on his own and closed his door to get dressed. They saw him from time to time and it was never a big deal. Dodge often left the door to the bathroom, the shared bathroom between his and Drew’s rooms, on his side open and that’s typically where the lapse in privacy happened. Other times Drew didn’t seem to care about changing in front of his moms and would strip down without a second thought, almost like he forgot he was supposed to want more privacy. 

“It says those things will usually be accompanied by his voice getting deeper, his muscles growing and acne or even facial hair becoming evident” the brunette relaxed for a couple of seconds and then tensed up again. “And he’ll start having wet dreams and getting erections for no reason.”

“Here, gimme that” Ashlyn took the phone from her hand, shut it off and gave it back to her, pointing at the nightstand. “Now put it away. You’re worrying about something that’s years away Al. Just enjoy now, while he’s still a 9-year old at Disney World.”

“He’ll be 10 in a few months” Ali’s bottom lip stuck out in a small pout. “And then he’ll be 11, and then...”

“Honey, come on” Ashlyn’s voice was soft and comforting as she lifted the covers up and encouraged her wife to slide down into the bed so they could go to sleep. “Let’s not do this. We both hate that the kids are getting bigger. But that’s how it works, right?” She let the covers fall onto Ali’s shoulder and smiled when the brunette turned on her side, curled into her chest and buried her face in her neck with a little whimper. “I don’t want to think about Drew doing the five-knuckle shuffle any more than you do...”

“Are you kidding me?” Ali chuckled at her wife’s crass euphemism and poked her in the ribs.

“What? I’m just saying I hope I never walk in on him while he’s choking the chicken or jerkin’ the gherkin” she grinned, unable to keep a straight face any longer even though Ali hadn’t pulled her head out of the blonde’s neck yet and couldn’t even see her.

“Ashlyn, cut it out” she giggled and leaned back to look at her wife’s dimpled face.

“Milking the cow, spanking the monkey, buffing the banana, flogging the log...” she continued until they were both laughing and shushing each other at the same time.

“Oh God, you’re terrible” Ali breathed out and leaned in to peck her wife’s smiling lips. “How does someone with so little experience with actual penises know all of those...names?”

“I don’t know” Ashlyn shrugged. “I’ve just heard them over the years. I learned a lot hanging around with my brother and his disgusting friends. Hey, it worked” Ashlyn grinned. “We’re not sad anymore.”

“Are you secretly watching gay porn again?” the brunette frowned playfully at her wife and then chuckled.

“One time! I hit the wrong link one time and you’ll never let me live it down” she shook her head but was soon chuckling along with her beautiful brunette.

Ali brought their lips together again, this time a slow, loving kiss that made them both sigh contentedly. They stayed face to face for another couple of minutes, each in their own thoughts.

“Do you miss it?”

“Miss what?” the brunette scrunched up her face in confusion.

“You know” Ashlyn dropped her eyes bashfully. “A penis?”

“Well, I’ve never had one so I don’t really know” Ali quipped and let her fingertips trace the beautiful owl on Ashlyn’s forearm while she watched her face carefully.

“No, seriously” the blonde lifted her hesitant eyes. “Do you miss...having sex with one?”

Ali saw the blush begin to pink Ashlyn’s cheeks and she felt her heart throb at the sight of her sweet keeper being so vulnerable and shy. The brunette wrapped her arms around her wife’s neck and pulled their bodies together, with their faces nose to nose.

“Nope” she answered honestly, keeping her eyes locked onto Ashlyn’s.

“It’s ok if you do” she said quickly, almost apologetically. “I get it. I wouldn’t judge you...”

“Honey, listen to me very carefully now, ok?” she waited for Ashlyn to nod her head in understanding. “I didn’t know what sex was before I met you. You are what makes me want to have sex. I don’t care if we use a toy or not and I sure as hell don’t want a penis involved” she giggled and pressed a soft kiss into her keeper’s slightly pouty lips. “Do you remember what you told me the very first time we went into the toy store down in Provincetown?”

“Please don’t squeeze my hand so hard, you’re crushing my fingers?”

Ali gave her shoulder a gentle smack as they both laughed.

“You told me that none of it mattered. You said that our sex, just the two of us, was all you’d ever need and that the toys were just something to use from time to time.”

“Yeah, I remember now” the keeper nodded.

“Well that’s how I feel too. Nothing makes me happier than you...inside me. Your tongue or your fingers. It’s you that turns me on babe. How could I possibly miss anything else when I have you?”

Ashlyn felt her lips turn up into a small smile and saw Ali’s face mirror it.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life” Ali replied and kissed her wife again, this time letting all of her love flow into the passionate but steady kiss.

They fell asleep like that, face to face with their arms around each other and their legs entwined, after making out for several minutes before exhaustion and the late hour lulled them to sleep. Two full hearts cozy in the small bed surrounded by so much trust and love.


	3. Yin and Yang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never know how much to warn about...this is a sad chapter. I'll just say that.

There were so many good things happening for the Krieger family at the beginning of 2029 that it was easy to overlook some of them. In addition to all of the attention Ali had been garnering since December, and Ashlyn’s big fancy Los Angeles brush with stardom, Lily had won the kindergarten spelling bee at the end of February. Drew scored the winning basket in his game against the best team in Gloucester youth basketball, and Josie was asked to take one of the speaking roles in the new play, Peter Pan, they were working on for the Spring. She didn’t get a big part but doing double duty as one of the mermaids as well as one of the lost boys was impressive for her age. And any kind of speaking role was always a big win.

Additionally, Lady Gaga had agreed to be the model for Ashlyn’s new line of t-shirts and other apparel and she was bringing one of the hottest young stars with her to tag team the ads and social media blitz planned for April. The next big thing was only 19 years old but she was already taking the youth of America by storm with her style and her music and her attitude. Vero Nixon had been ‘discovered’ by Lady Gaga 2 years earlier, singing in the subway after narrowly graduating high school in Iowa and then bravely relocating herself to NYC. She was the next incarnation of the soft butch that both straight and lesbian women swooned over. She was tall and strong and talented as hell and Lady Gaga knew, before anybody else did, that she was going to be a star. Vero and Gaga, who was now 42 years old and still a strong and vital presence in the entertainment world, posed together in a series of sexy photos wearing little more than Ashlyn’s clothes. Vero’s shots had a lot of black leather, and hats to go along with the smoldering poses, while Lady Gaga’s featured more skin, high heels and flirtatious positions. It wasn’t anything new, but it was incredible. The most popular of the poses was what they called the ‘morning after’ photo. Lady Gaga wore nothing but one of Ashlyn’s t-shirts, perilously close to exposing her bare ass, while she stood in the doorway to the bathroom waiting and watching. Vero managed to smirk at her even while brushing her teeth, clad only in a pair of Ashlyn’s tight boyshorts and sports bra. It was a sexy fucking shot and everybody knew it. 

The re-emergence of Ashlyn’s clothing line had been Ali’s doing. She’d been working on it since her keeper had admitted that designing more clothes was on her bucket list. The brunette had finally managed to line up a manufacturer and design and production team that could do most of the heavy lifting while Ashlyn shared her vision with them. They had launched with a big media splash around the Grammy’s in February and were going to be doing another round of publicity around the Oscars in March. Ashlyn’s designs had matured as she had grown up herself over the past decade. Her bold style remained but she had managed to soften some of the edges without sacrificing the provocative nature of her unique point of view. In short, it looked like the clothing line was going to be a huge hit. They weren’t going to be doing any big fashion shows or anything – it was just every kind of t-shirt you could think of, underwear, bras, and some basic outerwear pieces like canvas jackets and stylish sweaters. Ashlyn had no plans to be the next Vera Wang, Miuccia Prada, or Betsey Johnson, but the way her basic black leather jacket was selling like hotcakes had many other people thinking differently.

Kyle Krieger had helped Ali pull things together with all of his strong NYC connections. One of his best friends, Daniel Seung Lee, had agreed to run the ‘store’ and handle all of the inventory and production requests for the whole Ashlyn Harris line. It was a money drain at first, but by the end of March they had almost sold enough product to cover his salary for the whole year. Ali couldn’t have been happier for her wife. She knew how much joy Ashlyn got from going up to her studio and creating those designs. And she also knew it was something that the keeper would never pursue on her own. She would always put something else before it, like spending time with the kids or working for the MHI or Knight-Harris or The Academy. Ashlyn viewed the clothing gig as a luxury or a hobby and she just didn’t feel like she had a lot of time for hobbies those days. But Ali knew how important it was for her wife to have a creative outlet. Besides surfing, and having sex, working in the studio was one of the best ways to keep Ashlyn centered and happy. The fact that it was going to turn out to be profitable too was an unexpected blessing that both women were grateful for. 

“So what do you think?” Ali smirked as she stepped out of the master bathroom one night.

Ashlyn had just gotten into bed and was leaning against the headboard setting the alarm on her phone. She glanced up and did a doubletake when she saw her beautiful brunette leaning in the doorway with one hand up on the door jamb and the other on her hip. The raised arm lifted the ‘Ashlyn Harris’ t-shirt up a bit on the one side, exposing her Penn State tattoo and the bottom of her hip a few inches above it. The keeper pushed her glasses up and blew out a low whistle as her body responded to the sexy sight in front of her.

“Damn baby...I know you’re trying to show off that shirt but all I see is the sexy underneath it” she charmed as her heartrate picked up.

“Oh, so the shirt’s not doing...anything for you?” she pouted provocatively as she moved her hand from her hip up to her breasts and fondled them slowly beneath the soft, black material.

Ashlyn swallowed hard and felt a throb between her legs.

“I didn’t say that” she put the phone on the nightstand without taking her eyes off of her sexy wife. “Why don’t you come here and let me get a closer look?”

An hour and several orgasms later, Ashlyn reached for the discarded t-shirt by the foot of the bed as she rested the back of her head on Ali’s thick thigh. The brunette was flat on her back in Ashlyn’s spot in the bed, running one hand through the longer, blonde top of her wife’s hair while the other traced the full sleeve tattoo on her left arm.

“So is this your favorite?” the keeper asked, holding the t-shirt up above her and looking at it closely.

“Hmmmm...” Ali pursed her lips as she considered the question. She knew Ashlyn wasn’t fishing for compliments. She really was curious which one of the dozen or so t-shirt designs was Ali’s favorite. “I do like this one a lot. I love the black that’s already sort of faded...”

“You look so good in black, baby” Ashlyn interrupted with a statement of fact.

“But I think my favorite is the elephant one.”

“What elephant one?”

“You know, the one with the elephant’s profile on the edge of the design” Ali cocked her head to try and see if Ashlyn was teasing her or not.

The keeper, meanwhile, wasn’t sure what her wife was talking about.

“Al, I know we went a little harder than usual tonight, are you feeling ok?” she chuckled. “Did you hit your head” she nodded towards the headboard which had taken a little bit of banging while they enjoyed themselves with Ali’s favorite strap-on.

“Oh stop” Ali giggled and playfully pinched her wife’s nipple. “You seriously don’t know which one I mean?”

“I really don’t” Ashlyn looked up sheepishly at the brunette. “I didn’t draw any elephants, hon.”

“Yes you did” she persisted, reaching for Ashlyn’s phone and bringing up the website for her clothing line. She held the phone an inch from her face because she couldn’t reach her glasses and didn’t want either of them to move just yet, which made Ashlyn laugh.

“You look so cute when you do that. You’re going to be the cutest little old lady...” the keeper teased as she rolled onto her side to face her wife. 

She reached up and softly caressed Ali’s left side, tracing the dark letters there and letting her fingertips brush against the side of her breast. Ali flinched at the tickling sensation and shot the blonde a warning glare, lifting the phone up above her line of sight.

“Comparing me to a little old lady while we’re naked in bed together is not the way to go. I know you know this...”

“Al, I keep telling you, I’m gonna love you and your body no matter how old we get.”

“Yeah, well, me too, but we don’t have to picture it before it happens do we?” she put the phone back in front of her face and scrolled. “Definitely not during our sexy times, that’s for damned sure.”

Ashlyn leaned closer to her wife’s leg so her lips could reach it, placing a soft, warm kiss there. There was nothing about Ali’s body that she didn’t absolutely love and she had a great view of it from that angle. She looked up her abdomen to her breasts and admired her toned arms as they held the phone up.

“You’re right. My bad” she admitted. “I’m not wrong, but we don’t have to talk about it now” she pressed another kiss to the top of Ali’s thigh and kept her hand caressing the brunette’s side. She was quickly starting to get worked up again.

“Aha! Found it” Ali sat up abruptly, knocking her wife’s hand down and making her roll her head back all at the same time in her distraction. “Here, look.”

It was Ashlyn’s turn to squint at the phone as she held it above her own face. Her eyesight wasn’t nearly as bad as Ali’s was, but she still needed glasses and contacts to see well.

“This is the shield one” the keeper stated, wondering seriously if Ali had indeed hit her head.

“Yeah, but this edge here” Ali pointed to the screen. “You’re telling me that you didn’t make this look like an elephant’s profile on purpose?”

Ashlyn had to admit, now that Ali had pointed it out, that the left side of the shield looked exactly like the profile of an elephant. The shield design was a combination of several different things – all blended and interwoven together to make up the outside of rough, weathered and battle-proven shield. It was roughly in the shape of a circle but it had branches and tendrils and vines sticking out all around it. It looked like the shield had been carved into bronze or some dark metal from ages ago. There were four quadrants to it and each one had a slightly different theme but they were all filled with varied images. The whole thing was a busy, swarming, teeming depiction of many of the things that Ashlyn appreciated in nature. On the left side, one of the long vines that protruded out away from the edge of the circular shield looked just like an elephant’s trunk - it even curved up a bit at the end. If you followed the trunk up to where it met the edge of the shield there were markings that really did look like the eye of an elephant and even, if you had bought into it, the faint edge of a big floppy elephant’s ear.

“Holy shit” she breathed out as she expanded the picture with her thumb and forefinger. “I never noticed it before, but I sure see it now. Wow.”

“You’re not just bullshitting me?” Ali quirked her eyebrow down at her wife. “Humoring the old lady who sees things...”

“Ha ha, honey, I swear I am not doing that” Ashlyn laughed out loud and dropped the phone to the bed so she could wrap her arms around Ali’s waist. She brought her lips to her stomach and kissed it several times before speaking again, loving the way the brunette held her shoulder and head against her body as she continued to sit upright. “I can’t believe you saw that in there” she mumbled against Ali’s warm skin. “And I definitely didn’t do it on purpose” she leaned back a bit to look up into beautiful whiskey-colored eyes. “But I think that just goes to show you that even the subconscious, creative part of my mind is madly in love with you.”

Ashlyn put her lips back on her wife’s stomach and moved her head a bit, letting her tongue tease at the sweet spot just below Ali’s left hip. As curious as she was about how there was an elephant where there wasn’t supposed to be one, the brunette’s brain stopped thinking about anything other than how amazing Ashlyn’s mouth felt as it circled the wave tattoo and then nipped a little lower.

“Fuck, Ashlyn...” she exhaled and closed her eyes and they both knew they were done talking for a while.

//

As with everything, bad must balance out the good, just as the dark must snuff out the light sometimes. As incredible as the beginning of 2029 had been, there had been some painful losses as well. Old Mrs. Ornstein from across the street had finally succumbed to pneumonia at the end of January. Ashlyn’s Liz, down in Satellite Beach, lost her mother in early February after a long battle with breast cancer. Molly’s dad died after suffering a massive heart attack at the end of the month. And Whitney’s brother and his wife suffered a miscarriage – the sad news travelling all the way from California late that winter. Ashlyn felt the losses more than most, and not just because of her big heart. She had been closer to all of the deceased, as a group, than most of the others in their universe. She was easily the closest neighbor to Mrs. Ornstein. And she and Liz had been best friends since they were kids so she naturally took the loss of Liz’s mother hard. The woman had been more of a mother to Ashlyn than Tammye had been for a few years when they were young. The keeper knew Molly’s father better than anybody else in the four families did too, except for Niki of course. And the same was true for Whitney’s brother Taylor. 

Ali watched her wife struggle under the weight of it all and worried. They were so busy and the blows just seemed to keep coming about three weeks apart. It felt like as soon as Ashlyn started to get a handle on her emotions from one loss, the next one happened and sent her back down again. Mattie, their therapist, was turning 65 years old later in the year and Ali was secretly and selfishly terrified of what would happen when she finally decided to retire. Ashlyn went to her therapy appointments and did the homework that Mattie gave her and, by the middle of March, was still holding steady after all the turmoil. The brunette knew that the birthdays in the month of March were always important and life-affirming for her keeper. Maddox Dwyer, Penny Cross, Meg Doucette, Tammye Lanier and Becca Flanagan all celebrated their births that month and Ashlyn had often called it the month of female empowerment – Maddox being the only boy among the 5 birthdays. May had as many birthdays but not as many were girls’. Between the birthdays and the Ellen Special airing and Ali’s BU Alumnae magazine cover hitting the stands, March looked like it would end on a high note. But that was before the last blow landed.

“Aw, just leave him” Ali cocked her head as she looked at Fred in his favorite spot on the end of the couch near the recliner. “He’s so comfy. And his bladder’s big enough...we’ll be up again in 7 hours.”

It was almost 11pm on Thursday in the last week of March and the moms were putting the house and dogs to bed before doing the same themselves. Both Fred and Persey had always gone upstairs with the kids and slept for a few hours before coming back down and going outside one last time for the night. Then they would go back upstairs again for the rest of the night. Lately, over the past couple of months, Fred had started to sleep on the couch downstairs a couple of nights a week instead of making the last trip upstairs after going outside. He had always been a lazy dog so neither Ashlyn nor Ali thought much about it. But this not wanting to go outside was new.

“I don’t know” Ashlyn shook her head as she knelt on the floor in front of the caramel-colored dog, patting his head and rubbing his neck. “I don’t want him waking anybody up in the middle of the night because he needs to go out.”

Ali had a wave of déjà vu hit her as she remembered her father telling her about Fred doing something similar while he and Persey stayed with Ken and Vicki for the week of February vacation.

“I don’t know what to tell you honey” Ken had shrugged as he helped Ali load the dogs and their stuff into the back of her truck for the drive from Ipswich to Gloucester. He had just described how Fred had refused to go outside before bedtime a few nights earlier. Ken had forced him to get up and go out but the dog had refused to leave the deck and seemed unsteady on his feet. “It only happened once, but it might be something to keep an eye on.”

“Ok Dad. I will. I’m sure he’s just being lazy, as usual” Ali had laughed as she closed the tailgate of the truck. “But you never know. Thanks for the heads up.”

She and Ashlyn had decided that if it happened again they would take the dog to the vet to see what, if anything, was going on. This was the first time it had come up since then.

“This is what my dad was talking about” Ali realized with concern.

After a couple more minutes of debate they worked together to pick Fred up off the couch and help him walk outside to do his business. But, just as Ken had described, the dog just stood there on wobbly legs.

“I’ll take him to the vet in the morning” Ashlyn patted his head again from his new spot on the mudroom floor. Ali had put one of the dog beds there so he would be comfy for the night. And if he had an accident the mudroom floor was the easiest to clean. “You have a good sleep Freddy boy, I love you” the keeper whispered as she gave him a kiss on the top of his soft head.

It was something Ali found impossibly endearing about her wife. She always gave the dogs a kiss goodnight and told them how much she loved them before turning in for the night. Without fail. One time she even got up out of bed ten minutes after turning the light off and snuggling in with the brunette because she had forgotten to tell Persey she loved her. Ashlyn had admitted that she just couldn’t go to sleep without doing it.

“Oh, so you did want to go out after all didn’t you, you big goofball” Ali chuckled quietly as she checked the mudroom early the next morning. 

The house was still quiet because it was only 6am and she had decided to let Fred out quickly before hopping into the shower, knowing his bladder must be about to burst. Fred had gotten up out of the dog bed at some point during the night and laid down on the tile floor between it and the mudroom door. He was very still as he lay on his side with his tail extended out behind him. Ali could see his big chest rising and falling but was surprised that he didn’t even lift his head to greet her.

“Oh shit” she sucked in a breath as she stepped over the dog towards the door. 

There was a big piece of poop on the floor near his butt and that’s when she knew for sure something was very very wrong. Fred hated poop. He avoided it like the plague out in the yard when he came across it. And when it came to doing his own business he went to the farthest corners of the backyard to do it and then literally jumped and ran away from it when he was finished. He also didn’t like anybody to look at him while he was pooping. Persey, on the other hand, couldn’t have cared less about any of it. She would fetch a ball and bring it back to you, pause for a minute and take a big dump a foot away from you, and then drop the ball at your feet so you could throw it for her again. Ali knew that if Fred had laid there with poop practically touching him that something was definitely wrong.

“Are you ok big boy?” she knelt and hugged him, relieved to see him open his eyes. “Do you need to go outside?”

The dog closed his eyes again and made no attempt to move in any way. Ali cleaned up the poop, apologizing to Fred for having it so close to him for who knows how long. Then she went up and got Ashlyn. The vet didn’t open until 9am so they decided to just leave Fred where he was and get the kids off to school as usual. 

“Why’s Fred just lying there like that?” Drew asked as they sat down to eat breakfast.

“He’s not feeling very good today” Ashlyn explained. “We’re just gonna let him rest for a while and then take him to the vet and get him all fixed up.”

The kids each gave him a hug and kiss before going to school that morning, even Drew who sometimes distanced himself from the cute things the younger kids did.

“See you after school Fred” Lily told the dog as she did every school morning.

When Ali came back after dropping the kids off, she and Ashlyn lifted Fred into the minivan. The blonde crawled in and sat on the floor with him so he wouldn’t roll around too much on the drive or be afraid. Ali went in and explained to the vet staff what had happened and the vet came right out to the minivan to take a look. After a quick exam and a listen with his stethoscope, the vet spoke quickly and plainly, not attempting to hide the urgency in his voice.

“You need to get him to Mass Vet right away. I’ll call ahead and let them know you’re coming. Get there as fast as you can.”

They knew the Massachusetts Veterinary Hospital in Woburn, MA well because it’s where Persey had gone for her emergency surgery back in 2024 when she had 2/3 of her intestines removed. They made the 40-minute drive in about 30 minutes that morning, thankful that the rush hour traffic wasn’t backed up anymore.

“What do you mean?” Ashlyn blinked at the doctor who had called them in to one of the small exam rooms about an hour after they arrived. They had whisked Fred away on a stretcher as soon as Ali put the minivan into park outside the front door. “How could he have a tumor on his heart and us not even know about it?”

Ali clutched at her wife’s hand as they got the horrible news. It was so sudden and so serious and the idea that Fred might not come home with them that morning had never crossed either of their minds.

“He’s had it for a while, based on the size” the kind and patient doctor explained. “It accounts for the lethargy. Basically, the tumor attached itself to his heart and it would fill up and then drain and then fill up again. The days when it was full would put a tremendous strain on his heart and he would have found it difficult to move much at all.”

“That’s why he wouldn’t go upstairs for bed sometimes” Ashlyn nodded dully.

“Oh God, and we dragged him outside last night” Ali gasped out as her emotions got the best of her at the thought.

“We were able to drain the tumor and he’s a little bit more comfortable now, but...” the doctor paused and the room got very quiet.

“But what?” Ashlyn asked, tightening her grip on the leash across her knee.

“Well, the prognosis is not good” the doctor nodded grimly. “The tumor’s not going to get smaller unless we treat it. And we can’t treat it without damaging the heart.”

All of a sudden it became clear to both women that Fred was not only not coming home with them that morning, but probably not ever again. They both sniffled as the doctor looked on patiently. It was sad news not only because they both loved that dog so damned much, but also because they were going to have to go home and tell their kids that Fred wasn’t going to be coming home again.

“How much time does he have?” Ali asked, hoping beyond hope that the answer would be days or at least several hours.

“Frankly, I’m surprised he made it through the night with all the damage to his heart. But if we can drain it one more time, we might be able to give you another hour or so...”

“An hour!” Ali’s eyes went wide. She could feel her wife trembling next to her. “Oh my God.”

“Can we see him?” the keeper asked, voice soft and sad.

“Of course” he smiled sympathetically.

He talked to them about euthanizing the dog to save him any more suffering and tears fell down both Ashlyn and Ali’s faces. They both felt strongly about it and never wanted either of their dogs to be in pain if they could help it at all. Fred wasn’t going to get better. His heart would continue to deteriorate and he would suffer for another couple of hours at best. They agreed to have him put to sleep after they said their goodbyes and it was one of the saddest things they had ever had to do. Fred was 12 years and 4 months old and it was hard for either woman to remember what their life was like without him in it. They both hugged the dog and kissed his soft, caramel-colored head when the vet tech and doctor wheeled him into the room a few minutes later. For the first time that day, and the last time ever, Fred wagged his tail in a final display of his own enormous love. They stood next to him after the doctor administered the dose that would end his pain for good. Ashlyn held one of his paws and rested her head on his shoulder while Ali continued rubbing his neck just the way he liked it. It was both the longest and shortest 10 minutes of their lives. And then he was gone.

They made the arrangements to have his ashes returned to them so they could bury him at home somewhere, hoping that would help the kids understand and give them a way or maybe a place to grieve when they needed to. Ali had taken the morning off, knowing that if it was something serious that Ashlyn might not be strong enough at that particular time to handle it herself. The brunette called the office, took the whole day off, and drove them both home in sad silence. If actually saying goodbye to Fred had been difficult for them, it was almost, but not quite, easier than telling the kids about it. They toyed with the idea of waiting a day or two until they were stronger themselves. The kids would have believed them if they had said Fred was in the hospital for a couple of days. But, ultimately, they decided to be honest and share their emotions with their children that afternoon. The sad, difficult topic of death and grief had been discussed a few times that winter at the big old house and the moms were hoping that would make this loss a little easier to understand. Worst-case scenario, if the kids really were devastated they would keep them home from school tomorrow and they would have a 3-day weekend to try and come to grips with it. Ali called Kyle that afternoon and he talked to both of them on facetime, giving advice from his experience with Cristina and Edgar losing Luna. 

After a gut-wrenching several hours that afternoon and evening, the grieving family, including poor Persey who kept going from the mudroom door to the family room door looking for Fred, cuddled together on the couch. They had all picked at their dinners and glumly done their homework and taken their showers. The moms were relying on their routine to help guide them through the painful first hours without one of the constants in their young lives. None of the kids had taken a single breath in their lives without Fred and Persey being there and they all felt his absence profoundly that first night. They decided not to read a story that night, opting for more snuggle time together on the couch instead. There was some debate about which movie to watch – Lily felt very strongly that they should watch Fred’s favorite movie and would not be swayed. Which led to an argument about which movie that was, exactly. After they finally settled on ‘All Dogs go to Heaven’ and got comfortable on the couch, they spent more time talking about Fred than actually watching the movie. All the kids took turns telling stories about Fred and sharing their favorite memories. Ali and Ashlyn shared theirs too and regaled the kids with tales of Fred as a puppy and young dog before they were old enough to really remember him. It was a bittersweet couple of hours that found them alternating tears and laughter in equal measure. As the kids got sleepier the conversation tailed off and when the movie ended and the moms got ready to put everybody to bed, Drew spoke up. He had joined his family and talked a lot about Fred that evening, but he had been stoic, just as he had been when Luna had died a few years earlier. His tired but still-confident voice surprised both of his moms but his sentiment was the perfect final statement for the night and made them all feel a little bit better.

“I think Fred’s in heaven playing with Luna” he nodded thoughtfully. “And I bet she’s glad to have him up there with her. And they can play together all the time now.”

 

***************

In a dark room a television played, and then rewound and then played again, the Ellen Special dedicated to the comedian’s favorite sports stars. The volume was muted because of the late hour and the screen paused on close-ups of Ashlyn Harris and Ali Krieger when they came up during the episode. The sound of a smartphone capturing a picture of the paused tv screen echoed through the quiet space time and time again. There was a well-used diary with a pen on the bed facing the tv. The laptop - where the viral video of the holiday party ping pong game filled the screen - closed, making the room even darker. It was placed on the other side of the bed near the copy of the BU Alumnae magazine with a beaming, beautiful brunette on the cover. The diary took the laptop’s place and the pen pressed heavily into the next open page... 

3/20/29  
Ali & Ash were on the Ellen Special tonight and I DVR’d it. I recorded it on my phone too, just in case Janice or Edward decide to delete it – even though I put the ‘save until I delete’ on it. Idiots. I don’t know how they can be so stupid.  
Fuck this stupid pen. How hard is it to make a pen that doesn’t glob all over the fucking page?!   
Ali’s on the cover of the alumnae magazine too. I can’t believe how crazy it is that both that and the Ellen Special happened at the same time! That’s gotta be a sign. It just has to be. And then I just started looking online for stuff and man there’s a lot of it. For both of them.  
There was a Christmas party someplace where they work I think and they both played ping pong in this video one of the employees put out. I think they’re drunk but I’m not sure. It’s hard to tell. They were all dressed up. They both looked really good. Really good. They look good together. I love the way they touch each other, like, not even in a sexual way. Just regular touching but it’s so good.   
I can’t believe that’s who she ended up with. They’re married and have a bunch of kids I think. I’ll look them up tomorrow. I have to get some sleep. I feel like shit and my back hurts again. I can’t get them out of my head though. I need my mind to shut off so I can sleep. I have to calm down.   
I bet they fuck all the time. She’s so gorgeous. I wish I could fuck her. Mmmm – that’s an awesome idea. I like that a lot. Yeah, I’d fuck her so good...

The diary was set aside, joining the pile of other things on top of the comforter, as the bed creaked and the quiet room filled with breathless pants and grunts and finally a long, low moan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.....there's the new element to this installment.


	4. Mrs. Clean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning at the end of the chapter

Easter was early that year and fell on April Fool’s Day. The Krieger and Dwyer and Kimball clans gathered at Sydney and Dom’s house for the usual Easter egg hunt and festivities and everybody had as much fun as they could. Fred’s death was fresh in everyone’s heart and mind because it had just happened three days earlier. The shock and suddenness of it was still reverberating through the close-knit family and friends. Kyle and Nathan brought the kids and Peaches up from NYC for the weekend and Cristina and Lily, only one year apart in age, shared their grief, talking almost non-stop about Fred and Luna. Talk turned to the other dogs in their lives and focused on 17-year old Boss Leroux-Dwyer. Sydney gently joked that he was too mean to die and nobody argued. 

The rest of the conversation centered on the Ellen Special, the American Express ad shoot, and Ali’s run of recognition. Deb Christopher was as proud as anyone could remember seeing her and Ken Krieger wasn’t too far behind. Sydney was especially happy for her best friend finally getting some of the spotlight. It had been an ongoing complaint of hers for as long as either woman could remember. Even back in high school Ali never got the credit she was due. Even on the soccer pitch, which was the one place where some people actually did seem to recognize her talent and ability, her skill had often been overlooked. The young Ali Krieger had been an all-star on the soccer field but all anybody talked about was the goal scorers. Often, that was Ali. But more often, the brunette was the one responsible for setting up the play and making the critical pass that enabled a teammate to set up a goal or score a goal. Sydney used to gripe about it non-stop back then and Ali would just smile, shake her head, and remind her that she would bring the guts so talented striker Syd could have the glory.

“So how you doing boo?” the coach squeezed Ali’s shoulder as she joined her for a quiet moment upstairs in the master bedroom of the Dwyer home. She had grabbed her by the wrist and led her away from the rest of the Easter celebrants as discreetly as possible late in the afternoon. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m good” Ali gave her a small smile as they sat across from each other on the bed, one leg bent up beneath them and the other on the floor as they’d done a million times over the years. “It’s hard because one of the kids always seems to be having a tough time with it. They sort of rotate through the really sad stuff one at a time. Which is better than all of us just balling our eyes out I guess” she chuckled ruefully and Sydney squeezed her hand.

“He was a great dog. The best” she offered and took Ali’s other hand too.

“Persey’s the one that kills me” Ali shook her head. “We kept his collar, Ash just couldn’t...she couldn’t pack it away or throw it away, so it’s been on the bench in the mudroom” she took a breath to steady herself before continuing. “And Pers goes up to it and sniffs it, like, five times a day and it just rips my heart out.”

“Ugh, damned dogs and their unconditional fucking love” Sydney offered with a groan. “How freaking sweet is that?”

“I know!” Ali’s eyebrows went up. “Stupid adorable sweet dogs.”

The two friends talked for another few minutes about the kids and how they were coping and making slow progress without Fred. That turned into a conversation about their families’ health concerns. 

“So your thyroid’s been good? You’ve got it figured out now?”

“Well, Patty did the hard work there” Sydney smiled. “She really is a great doctor. I know, I know” she put up her hand and cut off the brunette who was about to say ‘I told you so’ for the hundredth time. “You were right. I’ve been giving you that one for years now” she giggled. “What about your ultrasounds? No news is good news, right?”

“Yeah, um...”

“Alexandra...”

“No, listen, I didn’t tell anybody this time, not even Ashlyn.”

“Tell anybody what?” Sydney’s voice rose in pitch and anger as worry overtook her.

“My last ultrasound, at the end of January, it showed two cysts that we need to keep an eye on” Ali breathed out, exhaling as she spoke and dropping her eyes. She wasn’t as much upset about the result, as she was afraid of the wrath of Sydney Rae Leroux Dwyer for not telling her.

“When is your next one?” Sydney’s voice was calm and steady which is how Ali knew the coach was even more pissed with her than she had originally feared.

“Three weeks, at the end of the month.”

There was a long moment where they both just breathed and held hands. Finally Ali gave the coach’s hands a soft squeeze and their eyes met.

“I didn’t tell anybody because I was...I mean, I am mostly ok with it” she tried to explain. “It’s the way it’s supposed to go. When I look for things four times a year I’m going to find some things and I have to be ok with that or I’ll go crazy.”

“I know” Sydney nodded and closed her eyes for a minute. “I just hate that you feel like you have to deal with it all on your own. That’s too much Al” she shook her head and looked at her best friend again. “Why didn’t you tell Ash?”

“Oh, she was having a tough time” Ali shrugged. “First it was Mrs. Ornstein and then Liz’s mom and then Molly’s dad...”

“Yeah, I feel you” Sydney nodded again. “You didn’t wanna add to her load. And if you told me and not her it would have looked...bad.”

“I’m sorry Syd...”

“Don’t be. I get it. I’m married too” she smiled and rolled her eyes. “It’s complicated sometimes.”

“What’s going on in here?” Kyle’s voice surprised them from the doorway.

“Nothing” they both answered at the same time and gave him their best guilty smiles.

“But trouble” he laughed and moved to stand next to the bed, enjoying one of the oldest jokes the three shared.

“So what’s up? Which kid needs which one of us?” Ali asked with a sigh.

“Nothing. No, I ummm...”

“Spit it out bb” the brunette quirked her eyebrow at her brother.

“I wanted to ask you about Drew and his stomach and we never get a chance on the phone when there’s not a kid around...”

“I know I owe you both that update” Ali sighed again. “Honestly, I feel like I’ve just been on some kind of out of control roller coaster for the past three months” she let her shoulders slump as Kyle joined them on the bed.

“It’s tough being famous, eh?” Sydney winked at her and pushed her over backwards so she was lying on her back on the bed. The brunette offered no resistance and relaxed for a few seconds.

“So, can you tell us or do you not want to?” Kyle poked her gently in the ribs and let her take his large hand in her own.

“He’s fine. Well, he’s going to be fine” she explained matter-of-factly, trying to convince herself at the same time. “The specialist back in January had us try and eliminate certain things from his diet to see if that had anything to do with all of his stomach problems, but none of it mattered” she shrugged, still lying on her back. 

“So it’s not dietary” Sydney frowned. “I guess that’s good...”

“Except it means it’s probably in his head” the brunette interrupted. “Both options have pluses and minuses. The good news is he doesn’t have any food allergies or anything...”

“The bad news is he might have an eating disorder or something else that he’ll have to work through” Kyle finished for her.

“We’re taking him to a child psychologist next week, now that we know it’s not what he’s putting into his belly” Ali sat up and leaned back on her arms, hands on the bed, bent at the wrist. It was impossible not to see the anxiety around her eyes.

“Aw sis, try not to worry” Kyle encouraged. “You’re doing the right thing. Just take one step at a time and see where he leads you. You got this.”

“Hey, do you remember how sure you were that James was fine?” Sydney leaned forward and rubbed her bestie’s knee again, referring to the year before when she thought her middle son might have some sort of learning disability. When Ali nodded, she continued. “Well, I’m telling you, with just as much confidence, that Drew’s going to be fine too. Whatever’s bothering him – you’ll figure it out and you’ll deal with it. I know it Alibaba. I just know it.”

//

“Mama, are you famous?” Lily asked, eyeing Ashlyn carefully as the keeper tried to fit a particularly challenging piece of the 3-D Eiffel Tower puzzle into place.

It was a rainy Saturday afternoon, the week after Easter, and the big old house was full of people tired of being inside after the third rainy day in a row. Baseball and Softball games had been cancelled which was a bummer for Deb and Mike Christopher who had stayed for the week after Easter hoping to watch their grandkids take their respective fields that day. Deb sat on the couch in the front living room with Josie on her lap. The redhead was just getting over a cold she had picked up at Easter and wasn’t really interested in doing much of anything that gloomy Saturday but snuggling. She kept her eye on the intriguing puzzle that was starting to take shape on the coffee table in front of her though. Dodge and Lily were both crowded around the coffee table helping Ashlyn with the difficult puzzle and working peacefully together to locate the next numbered piece that their mother called out for. The puzzle was too complex and small and hard to assemble for the kids to actually put many pieces together but they were captivated by the way the structure was actually three-dimensional and rising up off of its base as their Mama connected piece after piece.

Drew and Mike were watching the Red Sox game on the tv, the boy excited to find another fan to talk with about the game he was beginning to love more and more. Persey was curled up on the couch next to Deb and Josie, still out of sorts without her brother and best friend Fred. And Ali sat on the short end of the big couch, by the entrance to the mudroom, folding clean clothes that she had just pulled out of the drier a few minutes earlier. Deb and Ali exchanged a small grin across the ‘L’ bend couch as they watched Ashlyn’s surprised face react to Lily’s out of the blue question.

“Well...ummm...no, not really” she stammered as she clicked a puzzle piece into place.

“But you were on tv” Lily challenged, cocking her head to the side just like Ashlyn often did. “Not for soccer though.”

“Ellen!” Dodge added enthusiastically, happy that he remembered the name of the show many of his friends were talking about at school.

“Yes, I was on the Ellen special a couple of weeks ago so some people kind of think I’m famous, but they’ll forget about it soon enough” Ashlyn smiled at her son’s broad smile. “And Mommy was on it too” she looked to her left to see Ali wink back at her. 

“But Mommy didn’t sit on the couch and do the talking part like you did” Lily kept at it. “The lady...”

“Ellen” Dodge helpfully reminded his sister again with a quick nod.

“Ellen asked you and auntie Hilary all the questions.”

The keeper gave her wife an apologetic smile to try and take some of the sting out of the honest and accurate, but ego-killing, words. Ali just smiled back. There was nothing like kids to keep you honest and humble. Both moms had suffered daggers to the heart on an almost daily basis for the past 10 years at the hands of their beloved children. It never felt good, but it was inevitable and if you didn’t learn to brush the blows off you would never make it as a parent. Both Ali and Ashlyn had gotten good at letting most of the barbs go, most of the time.

“Mommy was on the magazine” Josie offered in Ali’s defense, her raspy voice surprising everyone. 

“She sure was” Deb added with her own, proud smile. “Both your moms are pretty great at their jobs and sometimes other people notice that and want to talk about it or tell other people about it so they’ll know too.”

“Like our VIP awards at school?” Lily asked, referencing the daily certificates their kindergarten teacher sent home with students who had done extraordinarily well at school on any given day.

“Kind of, yeah” Ashlyn nodded. “But mommy and I don’t have teachers to tell other people when we do a good job” she shrugged. “So this is kind of like that in a way” she squinted at the puzzle piece in her hand, trying to read the tiny numbers on the back. “This is 92. We need 62...”

“I told you Wee...” Dodge hip-checked his sister and then bent over the coffee table to look for the right piece.

“I thought it was a 6” Lily giggled when Ashlyn showed her the 92.

As old as the twins seemed, they were still only going to be turning 6 in May. They were getting bigger and smarter and more capable all the time, but sometimes a 9 still looked like a 6 to them.

“Mama is famous” Drew chimed in from the Yogibo bean bag chair up by the tv. He had wanted to sit near Mike who was in the recliner. “That’s why people ask her for her autograph and take her picture and stuff” he explained like the sage older brother that he was.

Both twins looked up and frowned at Ashlyn, confused.

“Look guys, I’m kind of famous, to some people who follow soccer” she tried to explain. “But most people don’t know who I am or what I do...”

“It’s not like she’s Zara Larsson or anything” Drew added for perspective, mentioning his generation’s version of Taylor Swift.

Ali made a cute, smirking face at her wife who just rolled her eyes and chuckled under her breath when she saw it. Deb laughed out loud at her grandson’s remarks, unable to control herself.

“It depends where we go guys” Ali finally joined the conversation. “If Mama’s working at the Olympics like when we went to France, then a lot of people know who she is and she’s more famous for a while. Do you remember all the fans asking her for her autograph and asking to take a picture with her?” she paused and waited for a response. 

“I do” Josie croaked out. She was feeling better, but her voice hadn’t come back to her yet. “They all wanted to talk to her and the security people had to keep them back.”

The moms shared another look, wondering how all the hubbub and excitement surrounding the Olympics had seemed to their young children. The twins looked from Josie to Ashlyn, unable to remember much about it and hoping for more information.

“And if we go in to the Breakers game everybody knows her and wants a selfie with her or an autograph, right?” Ali kept going.

“Yeah.”  
“Ah-huh.”  
“Sometimes they push too.”

The three youngest kids answered while Drew’s attention had been pulled back to the tv by a big Red Sox hit.

“And then other times nobody asks her for anything” Ali shrugged. “It just depends on where we are.”

“Your Mama is what we call a ‘public figure’ because she was a big star on the Breakers before you guys were born. She was the best goalkeeper in the whole league and everybody loved her because she played so hard every single minute of every single game” Deb took it upon herself to remind the kids just how awesome Ashlyn Harris had been in her day.

“And she was always really nice to the fans and she was one of the most popular players in the league too, on top of being one of the most talented” Ali added, beaming at her blushing wife.

“That’s why so many people know who she is. And that’s why she still gets asked to go on tv and talk about the teams in the World Cup and the Olympics” Deb noticed that even Drew had turned his head back around to listen. “She’s what they call an ‘expert in her field’.”

“What’s that mean?” Dodge scrunched his face up in confusion.

“It means she knows a lot about soccer and sports and the players, dummy” Drew shook his head dismissively at his kid brother.

“Don’t call your brother a dummy” Deb frowned at Drew. “He’s not a dummy. He’s very smart, just like you.”

Ali had told all the kids a million stories about their talented and brave Mama over the years but she was never really sure if any of them had stuck. Conversations like the one they were having that afternoon made her feel like it had all been for naught. She was so proud of Ashlyn’s career and everything she had accomplished and she had made it her own personal mission to make sure the kids knew about it too.

“She won two championships with the Breakers, with Auntie Whit too” Josie smiled softly at Ashlyn when the keeper turned and gave her a grateful, bashful look.

“She’s in the...Pillars...” Drew tried to come up with the name but couldn’t quite get it.

“Pillars of Excellence” Ali offered quietly, still folding kids’ clothes on the outside while her heart swelled on the inside at the touching turn the conversation had taken.

“Pillars of Excellence” Drew repeated quickly. “And only 8 players of alllll the Breakers players ever, are that” he looked proudly at his Mama while Dodge and Lily’s eyes went wide at the information.

“That’s right” Ali beamed at her oldest kids. “And here I thought all my stories of Mama’s incredible career had been forgotten” she winked at Ashlyn and saw that the keeper had gotten emotional. “Aw, honey...” she pushed the unfolded clothes off of her lap and moved over to sit next to her wife on the other side of the couch.

“You guys are killing me” Ashlyn sniffled and wiped the tears that had started to fall down her cheeks. 

There was a small smile on her face as her bottom lip quivered and she ducked her head into Ali’s neck when the brunette gave her a side hug and wrapped her arm around her waist.

“Why’s Mama crying?” Lily looked anxiously at her moms, unsure what had happened to upset her Mama.

“They’re happy tears guys” the keeper sat up again and wiped her face, glad Ali’s arm was still around her waist. “It makes me feel good that you know that stuff about my playing days” she smiled and Lily visibly relaxed at the sight. “Everything good in my life came from soccer, in one way or another” she smiled shyly at Ali and kissed her cheek. “And I’m more proud of those years with the Breakers than almost anything else in the world, except for you guys” she winked at the twins who were watching her very closely. “I love that you remembered that stuff Jojo” she reached over to her right and patted her daughter’s leg where it rested in Deb’s lap. “And you too Drew” she gave her son the most loving smile in her repertoire. “I love you guys so much and you just made me really happy. Thank you.”

The next several minutes involved a lengthy discussion of which kids had ever seen Ashlyn actually play a game for the Breakers – Drew and Josie were the only ones. Ashlyn had retired after the 2021 season so the twins hadn’t even been born yet. Drew was 2 and Josie was just a little baby the last time Ashlyn played professional soccer so neither of them had any chance of remembering their fierce Mama on the pitch. Before too much longer, Ali had the laptop out and they all huddled around the coffee table to watch highlights of Ashlyn’s playing days while the keeper kept going on the puzzle. Every couple of minutes she’d glance up at her family from her new position, where Ali had been sitting before. The love Ashlyn felt that afternoon was really something special. Most of her didn’t care if her kids ever understood what her life had been about before they came into it. But part of her cared very much. Part of her wanted them to be impressed by her and proud of her. 

Having kids was a funny thing. As far as they were concerned, their parents didn’t exist before them. The sole purpose for parents was to take care of them and bring them where they needed to go and provide them the things they needed for school or sports or birthday parties. In the Krieger household Ali was the queen bee. It hadn’t been by design and Ali certainly hadn’t jockeyed for the position. But she was the scheduler and the organizer and the answerer of questions for the kids. Nobody who knew the couple was surprised by the way their parenting roles had turned out, least of all Ashlyn or Ali. Most of the time Ashlyn didn’t care that the kids thought Ali was the boss of the family. If any of them had really known that Ali still often felt lucky to even be with Ashlyn in the first place, their little minds would have been blown. The brunette let Ashlyn know just how lucky she felt and that’s part of what made the kids’ understanding of the dynamic not matter so much. Ashlyn knew how much Ali needed her and loved her and how important they each were to the other and to the success of their family unit. But she had to admit, that rainy Saturday in April, it felt awesome to see her kids look at her with awe and wonder. Any parent would love that and the keeper was no exception. What a special gift Ali and Deb had given her that day. None of the conversation had been planned but Ali and Deb had steered it Ashlyn’s way and the blonde would not forget the kindness anytime soon.

//

Six days later, the Friday night of the long Patriots Day weekend that had surprisingly few events packed into it for the Krieger clan, Ali and Ashlyn were trying to enjoy a little intimate time before their house guests arrived the next morning. Typically, the Patriots Day weekend included a Breakers game or even the season opener, and then the Boston Marathon on Monday. Some years it even included Easter in between the two events. This year the Breakers home opener wasn’t until the following weekend and Easter had already happened two weeks earlier. They had the whole weekend blissfully free from most obligations. Even the youth sports knew better than to schedule games on long weekends, no matter what sport and season the weekend fell in. They had tried it in the past and kids just didn’t show up. So now they scheduled around them so families could take their long weekends and explore or vacation or host family members for a visit. The schools had caught on long ago and had been scheduling the February vacation week and the April vacation week whenever that long weekend was. In February it took place around the President’s Day long weekend holiday. In April it was Patriot’s Day. 

Usually the Kriegers made the trip down to Satellite Beach for both weeks to visit the Harris half of their family and enjoy some fun in the warm Florida sun. But not this year. This year everyone was excited for Meg and Hannah to come up and spend the week at the big old house instead. Meg was a junior in high school and she was trying to figure out where she was going to go to college. It was time to go visit the universities and colleges that she was considering so she could see if they were a good fit for her or not. It was hard for everybody to believe that sweet little Meg had just turned 17 last month and would be going to college in 16 months. It just didn’t seem possible. But time kept marching along and now, somehow, Meg and her mom were coming to Boston for a week to look at the schools in New England with division 1 soccer programs. 

To be clear, Meg was never considered a house guest. But Hannah was. Ashlyn’s ex-girlfriend had given up trying to stay in a hotel when she visited Boston with Meg. Hannah didn’t really want to stay in a hotel by herself and Meg wouldn’t consider staying anyplace other than her own bedroom up on the third floor of the big old house. So, Hannah stayed there with her, taking the bed and letting Meg sleep on the pullout couch. Marisol had just been to the big old house the day before to do her twice-weekly cleaning but Ali had still just cleaned all four bathrooms again after the kids went to sleep Friday night. She had sent Ashlyn down to clean the kitchen again as well. As far as they had come in terms of establishing a peaceful, friendly relationship with Hannah over the years, the brunette still got the same sinking feeling in her stomach whenever the tall, beautiful redhead came to stay with them. 

Hannah had given Ali nothing to complain about and the brunette often felt guilty for feeling what she felt towards Meg’s mom. But she felt it anyway, even though she tried hard not to. She was pretty sure the suspicion and wariness with which she greeted every visit from Hannah would never go away, not ever. Ashlyn did her best to reassure her wife, but her efforts fell on deaf ears more often than not.

“Alright, that’s enough. That’s it Al. We’re done” the keeper announced when Ali had finished cleaning the first-floor bathroom that Friday night.

“I just wanna...”

“Nope” Ashlyn shook her head and took the bucket of cleaning supplies out of her wife’s hand where they stood in the mudroom. “We’re done. I don’t know why you still do this. And I wish I could help you out of it, but this is the only way I know how to do it” she put the bucket down and started marching the brunette towards the kitchen sink, a hand on the back of each shoulder, so she could wash her hands and be done with the cleaning portion of their evening.

“Let me at least put it away...” she looked back over her shoulder towards the mudroom where the bucket still sat on the floor.

“I’m putting it away while you’re cleaning yourself up” she leaned in front of Ali and turned the water on in the kitchen sink. “Please baby, just stop. It’s just Hannah. Why do you care what she thinks anyway?”

“You’re right, you’re right” Ali sighed and pumped some soap into her hands before washing them in the sink. “I know you’re right. I can’t fucking help it.”

“Well, I’m helping it” Ashlyn kissed her cheek from behind her and patted her butt before walking back to the mudroom to put the bucket of cleaning supplies away in the cleaning closet right next to the desk there. “You’re welcome” she yelled over her shoulder.

The keeper met her wife in the middle of the kitchen where they both looked at the clock on the microwave in the corner. 10:40pm. Ali leaned her head against her wife’s chest and tucked her head under her chin, exhaling heavily.

“God, you’re so tense” Ashlyn flexed her fingertips as she moved her hands up and down the brunette’s back. “Come on, let’s go to bed. I’ll give you a massage and then you can fall asleep – no funny business” she kissed the top of Ali’s head and playfully patted her butt again.

“Mmmmmmm that sounds nice” Ali pulled her head back and lifted her face up, puckering her lips and waiting for a kiss.

Ashlyn leaned down and gave her the kiss she asked for, and then gave her another peck as they pulled apart, smiling at the surprised sound Ali made before they both chuckled.

“Oh, I’ve just gotta put the towels into the drier!”  
the brunette’s eyebrows went up to her hairline. “I can’t believe I almost forgot that.”

“Alright, but that’s it” Ashlyn quirked an eyebrow at her wife. “I’ll let Persey out and then you’d better be upstairs when I get there.”

“I will be” Ali gave her keeper a grateful smile as she walked into the mudroom again. “I promise.”

30 minutes later they were both upstairs, in their pajamas, ready for bed. Ashlyn was pleasantly surprised that her wife had kept her promise and not found three other things to tidy or clean on her way upstairs. 

“Ok, let’s go sugarplum” Ashlyn patted the bed and walked around to Ali’s side of it, near the fireplace. They had both learned the hard way over the years that giving Ali Krieger a massage meant that she would fall asleep in short order and be extremely unhappy about being woken up to be moved into her normal sleeping position. Ashlyn pulled the covers down to the foot of the bed and tossed the pillow over to her own side of the bed for the time being. “You gonna leave that on or take it off?” she motioned at the old Celtics t-shirt Ali was ready to sleep in that night.

“Ummm, take it off I think” she considered as she walked to her wife and wiped the excess moisturizer from her own hands to the backs of the blonde’s. “My shoulders are really tight and the collar will be right in the way” she pressed down on the top of her shoulder and winced. “Yeah, definitely off.”

She kept her Boston Pride hockey pajama pants on, took her t-shirt off and got into place on her stomach on the bed with her arms down by her sides and her head turned out towards the nightstand.

“I don’t know how you do that” Ashlyn chuckled. “It’s not right and you know it.”

“What?”

“You can’t wear a Celtics shirt with Pride pants” the keeper shook her head as she nudged her wife to move over more towards the middle of the bed so there would be room for her own leg once she was in position too. “It’s just wrong.”

“I can mix my sports if I want to” she defended herself as she scooched over another six inches and got back into position. “You just don’t like the Celtics, that’s all.”

“I like the Celtics a lot. I just don’t mix my sports, or my genders of sports, in my outfits. That’s all” the keeper shrugged and turned off Ali’s nightstand light.

“Oh so pajamas are outfits now?” the brunette giggled.

“Ok, so maybe you got me there” Ashlyn rubbed her hands together for several seconds, warming them up. “I guess we can bend the rule for pjs.”

The keeper leaned over the bed and pushed all of the dark brunette hair off of her wife’s shoulders, admiring, for the millionth time, how beautiful Ali was. She shook her head and tried to focus on just giving a massage. She would need to pretend the person was somebody else...somebody she didn’t want to have sex with...or she’d never be able to give the massage and keep it clean.

“Are you hoping I’m just going to fall asleep so you don’t have to do it, or what?” Ali laughed softly, noting the long pause. “Because I’m on to you.”

“Yeah, yeah, just settle down there Mrs. Clean” Ashlyn poked her gently in the ribs, making her squeal and move farther away. “It’s your fault it’s so late” she quirked her eyebrow at Ali as she knelt on the bed and threw her leg over her wife’s body. “I had other plans for tonight” she wagged her eyebrows and then winked.

“Aw honey, I’m sorry” Ali patted her keeper’s leg.

Ashlyn bent over and kissed her cheek softly before settling down on top of the sexiest ass in the entire world. She took a deep breath and reminded herself to stay in control. This massage was for Ali and that was that. No funny business.

“It’s ok. It’s not like we’re going to have two extra people in our house for an entire week or anything...Oh wait...”

“Ok, now I feel terrible” Ali tried to roll over but Ashlyn’s strong arms held her in place.

“I’m just teasing you sweetheart” the keeper gave her cheek another soft kiss. “Just relax and let me get rid of some of this tension up in here. We can have sex whenever we want to. It’s not like Hannah’s gonna interrupt us or anything...oh wait...”

They both laughed out loud at that one because it had indeed happened before and they both remembered it well. Ashlyn thought her bride-to-be was going to leave her for good when it had happened the night before their wedding. And Ali thought she was going to kill Hannah and end up in jail so there would be no wedding at all. That night and the fact that Ashlyn’s ex-girlfriend had stayed in their house with them their wedding weekend had been the kill shot that Ali used in any argument where she felt really strongly about the outcome but things weren’t going her way. It was the ace up her sleeve. She didn’t use it very often, but she did use it when she really needed it. Now, Ashlyn was using it too, in a different way, but it was no less effective.

“Oh my God. Ok, you win. You got me” she giggled and tried to turn over again without success. “Seriously, have your way with me babe, let’s go” she giggled some more as she continued to try flipping herself over.

“Al, come on” the keeper laughed. “Let’s do this massage. Let me try and help you out with this” she squeezed her wife’s shoulders lightly and Ali sucked in a painful breath. “See? Just relax and let me work now. If you’re still awake when I’m done we’ll see about something else” she smiled as she felt the brunette squeeze and pat her leg.

Ashlyn did her very best to slowly work the knots out of the muscles in her wife’s shoulders and neck. She took her time and used her strong hands and fingers to give Ali some relief. It took every ounce of willpower she had in her to behave herself during the 20-minute massage. She tried not to think about the gorgeous ass she was sitting on top of as she kneaded the brunette’s shoulders and back. She tried not to let her fingers touch anything other than Ali’s back and shoulders and neck, being extra careful along her wife’s sides so she didn’t accidentally graze either of her breasts. The keeper knew one false move would start a fire inside her that probably didn’t have a chance of getting tended to that night. It would be better just to avoid anything extra tempting. Of course, the moans and sighs and sounds that came out of Ali’s mouth during the massage made that almost impossible. Ashlyn finally resorted to biting the inside of her own cheek to try and stay strong.

“Hey now” Ashlyn lifted herself up an inch off of her wife’s ass when she felt both of Ali’s hands reaching up her legs and towards her body. She swallowed hard when she saw the hungry look in the brunette’s eyes when she opened them. “No funny business, remember?” the blonde croaked out, trying to keep her cool.

“I never agreed to that” Ali took advantage of the small space between her wife’s lifted body and her own and rolled over onto her back, still between Ashlyn’s legs. 

The brunette had enjoyed the massage very much and had loved her keeper’s warm center on top of her ass even more. She had surprised even herself with how rapidly her libido had risen during those twenty luxurious minutes. Ali found herself waiting and hoping for a stray touch or a wayward feel but it never came. She finally took matters into her own hands and tried to grope her wife’s ass.

“What?” Ashlyn shook her head to make sure she was hearing her wife correctly. She was momentarily dazed by Ali’s bare breasts staring up at her. “Don’t tease me now Al. I just tortured myself to do this for you and keep it clean...”

“Well, that was silly” Ali slowly slid her hands up her keeper’s thighs, under her sleep shorts, and then back down as she stared at her lustily.

“Are you serious?” Ashlyn’s voice lowered and her leg twitched under her wife’s touch.

Ali cupped her own breast with one hand and reached into her pajama pants with the other, bringing it back up a few seconds later covered in her own passion. She locked eyes with her gorgeous keeper and held her finger up for her to lick if she wanted to.

“You tell me” she purred.

“Fuck Al” Ashlyn groaned as she sucked Ali’s finger clean. “I hate you if you’re just teasing me...”

“I would never do that to you” she pulled on the hem of the keeper’s t-shirt, urging her to remove it. 

She let her left hand trail up Ashlyn’s side and then back down her abs as the shirt went up and off. The brunette felt the familiar tug in her core as she took in the half-naked beauty above her. Ali slid her right hand up the leg of the loose-fitting sleep shorts again, this time not coming back down but continuing up until she felt her wife’s short hairs. They both shivered at the contact and Ashlyn sucked in a breath.

“Oh Ashlyn...you’re so wet already” the brunette husked out as her fingers slid through her wife’s slick folds. “Fuck...”

That was all the keeper could bear. She leaned forward and gave her wife a deep, hungry kiss that Ali gladly returned. Ashlyn was supporting her own weight on her knees, Ali’s fingers still playing with her other lips, and her elbows as they made out. They each fondled the other’s breasts, playing with nipples and soft, warm skin, as they moaned into each other’s mouth.

“Inside...” Ashlyn panted when they broke to breathe, her hot words tickling the sensitive skin of Ali’s neck. “Put them inside me, please baby.”

Between the sexy words and the hot breath right near her ear, Ali felt her own control leave her. She could feel how wet her wife was, how ready she was, how desperate she was, and it added fuel to her already raging fire. The brunette spread Ashlyn’s lips and shoved her two middle fingers up into her pulsing core as the keeper knelt over her.

“So fucking wet” she moaned out as she felt the blonde’s body shudder at the sensation and then she felt Ashlyn bite down hard on her neck. “Fuck!” the brunette yelled louder than she should have for the late hour.

“Fuck me baby...fuck me with those incredible fingers of yours” Ashlyn’s voice sounded strained and her whole body started to shake while Ali pumped up into her pussy as fast and hard as she could. “Yeah...unnnhhhh, just like that...fuck that’s good...unnnhhhhh...”

Ali grabbed her wife by the back of her thigh and pulled her up more towards the head of the bed, her right hand still thrusting hard and fast. Ashlyn complied, already starting to feel hazy as her senses overloaded on lust and passion. The new position allowed the brunette to reach up with her mouth and suck on her keeper’s breasts.

“Mmmmmm...so beautiful...” she mumbled against Ashlyn’s tender flesh. “So soft, so sweet...” she spent time working around the breast before sucking the nipple into her mouth and flicking it with her strong tongue. “Mmmmmmm...” she could feel Ashlyn’s juices starting to drip down her hand to her wrist as she kept pounding into her pussy. “Damn, that’s fucking hot.”

It was all Ashlyn could do to hold herself up. Her head was right up near the headboard and she squeezed her eyes shut as more jolts of pleasure shot through her body. She couldn’t believe they had gone from a no funny business massage to this urgent, desperate fucking so fast. The keeper had definitely misjudged her wife’s mood that night, no doubt about it.

“Jesus...fucking hell...” she groaned and panted, already starting to feel the beginnings of her orgasm low in her belly. “God you feel good baby. I’m close.”

Ali already knew that because her wife’s greedy walls had started to grab at her fingers as they pumped mercilessly into her throbbing center. The brunette let the back of Ashlyn’s thigh go and brought her left hand up and sighed in frustration at the sleep shorts still in her way.

“Off” she commanded, using both hands to start pulling the waistband of the sleep shorts down her wife’s hips. 

“You too” Ashlyn nodded at the pajama pants her wife still wore after quickly removing her own sleep shorts. She didn’t even wait for an answer. The keeper just pulled the hockey-themed pajama pants down and all the way off of Ali’s legs.

Ali pulled her keeper back into position so Ashlyn was hovering over her again, on her knees and elbows on top of the brunette. Ali put her fingers right back inside her wife’s throbbing center and her mouth went back to work on those gorgeous pink nipples she loved so much. She let her other hand go to Ashlyn’s clit, circling the sensitive nub and making the keeper jump up in response.

“Shit! Yes! Oh, fuck yes Al...unnnnhhhh...right there...oh fuck...”

The brunette switched breasts and began sucking hard on the other nipple while her right hand continued thrusting and her left hand started rubbing – everything was hard and fast and noisy and sloppy and glorious.

“I fucking love your clit” Ali grunted into Ashlyn’s chest as she began to sweat slightly from all the effort. “It’s so fat and ready for me...fuck...I want it in my mouth so bad...”

Ashlyn heard her wife’s hungry voice and tried to make her body move up near her mouth, but she just couldn’t do it. It took everything she had to hold herself up on her hands and knees as it was. Everything was a beautiful blur as she felt her whole body starting to tingle and hum.

“I’m coming!” she gasped out a minute later, dropping her head as if it was simply too heavy to hold up a second longer. “Holy shit...I’m coming...Aliiiiiiiiii!!”

The orgasm hit her just as hard and fast as Ali’s fingers had and it knocked the top of her body down onto the brunette’s chest in a heap. Ashlyn’s hips thrashed forward and back so violently that Ali’s hand came all the way out, even though the brunette had been trying to keep stroking her wife through her high.

“Yeah baby” she wrapped her left arm around Ashlyn’s sweaty back and held their bodies together as they both heaved for breath, stiff nipples poking into each other. “I’ve got you, sexy...I’ve got you...I love you...”

Ashlyn’s hips slowed and, after another minute, she dropped them down on top of the brunette as well. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Ali caressing and playing with the blonde’s back and ass and sides as their breathing returned to normal. If the brunette hadn’t felt the hot breath puffing against her neck she might have been worried about her wife. But she could feel her keeper’s heart pounding on top of her own and eventually Ashlyn regained the use of her hands and started to play with the medium-length brunette locks all around the bed near their heads.

“Damn baby” she exhaled softly and nuzzled into Ali’s neck, sliding her body off towards the middle of the bed and curling it around the brunette. “I feel like a kid on Christmas morning...best surprise present ever” she grinned like a fool and kissed her wife’s neck. “So much for keeping the massage clean” she chuckled.

“Speaking of clean...” Ali pushed the blonde over onto her back with a mischievous look. “I’d better just get back to some cleaning here” she giggled, low in her throat as she got on her hands and knees and hovered her head sideways over Ashlyn’s mound. “I’ve been dying to taste you...”

“Well, if you’re gonna do that, then I’d better do some clean up myself” the keeper pulled her wife’s hips towards the middle of the bed and then ducked under them so her face was right below Ali’s crotch. They were in a slightly askew 69 position with Ali on top and Ashlyn on the bottom.

“Hey!” the brunette laughed, surprised, before lowering her mouth down between Ashlyn’s legs with a satisfied sigh. “God you taste good...” she mumbled into the blonde’s pussy as she licked up all the juices that had spilled and dripped onto Ashlyn’s thighs.

“So do you” the keeper agreed as she pulled her wife’s hips down so her soaking wet folds were right on top of her waiting face. “Mmmmmmmm...” she moaned into Ali’s core as she sucked hard.

“Fuck babe...” Ali shivered and closed her eyes to steady herself. “Fuck...”

“That’s the plan my queen” Ashlyn grinned. “That’s the plan.”


	5. The Show's Out There

Meg’s visit was great. Busy and emotional, but great. She fought with her mother and with Ashlyn and with Emma Donaldson, all within the span of three days in the middle of the week. Surprisingly, she took solace playing with the kids when she needed time away from her current reality. She played video games down in the basement with Drew, earning his undying respect when she kicked his ass at one of the popular games those days. She played Lily’s made-up animal doctor game with her, which made them both a little sad when they thought about missing big old Fred. She sat with Josie at the piano and listened to her practicing her songs and joined her on the only song she knew how to play on the piano – chopsticks. She wrestled and boxed and horsed around with Dodge anyplace they could find space that wouldn’t annoy everybody else. If the three grown women in the house didn’t know better, they might have thought Meg was trying to go back in time and find a way to put the brakes on this whole going to college thing.

The only thing Meg Doucette knew for certain was that she wanted to go to a Division 1 soccer school. Period. That was all she cared about. If she hated the rest of the school but it was the only D1 school that accepted her, then she would go there anyway. Once Hannah had accepted that, a year ago when the subject of college had first been broached, the decision-making process had gotten a little bit easier. But there were almost 350 Division 1 schools in the country with women’s soccer programs so there was still work to be done. Hannah, of course, wanted her daughter to go to college near her in the DC area. That meant a school in DC, Maryland or Virginia. There were 22 D1 schools in that group and several of them were top-notch colleges that would be difficult to get into. Meg wanted, as most teenagers did, to stretch her legs a bit and venture a little farther from home. That part of the process had been the most painful and had caused the most strife between mother and daughter during the past 6 months or so. Meg was looking at West Coast schools and literally causing her mother to have heart palpitations. When all the gnashing of teeth was finished with that exploration, Meg had decided that she would stretch her legs in more familiar, but still far away, locations. Locations like Florida and New England. After dealing with the long-distance of California, the two East Coast locales seemed like a gift from God to Hannah and she easily agreed to give those areas equal consideration to the DC area. Hannah still held out hope that Meg would choose one of the three schools on her short list from the DC area: Georgetown, University of Virginia, and University of Maryland. But she knew it was a longshot.

Mother and daughter, and sometimes Ashlyn, had taken several trips to visit some of the schools in Florida earlier in the year. They had a few more weekend trips planned for the Spring as well before they would complete the tours of the 11 D1 schools in the sunshine state. There were some women’s soccer powerhouses down there and Meg really liked the University of Florida in Gainesville. She also liked Florida State and the University of Miami too. Chris Harris, back in regular touch with his niece as he continued to recover well from his fall off the wagon, had been pushing hard for her to come South for four years of college. He had been warning her about the cold winters in New England and the perils of being too close to Hannah in DC. 

That left the New England schools to be scrutinized during the busy April vacation week. There were 21 D1 schools in New England and Meg had plans to see about 10 of them over the course of her 9 days in Gloucester. Ashlyn had cleared her schedule as much as possible so she could help them navigate the area and make the most out of their time. The only thing she couldn’t get out of was the Breakers home opener on the second Saturday of the vacation. But that was in the evening so they still had a good chunk of the day to work with. 

The other event that Meg was really looking forward to during her vacation was the Boston Marathon. She had heard both Ali and Ashlyn rave about it for years and had never actually been to one before. Deb and Mike Christopher had stayed in Massachusetts for the first two weeks of April, arriving for Easter weekend and staying through Marathon Monday, just so they could spend it with Meg for her first time. Ali had changed up her volunteering role this year, knowing about Meg’s visit and wanting to share the day with her as well. Instead of volunteering near the starting line on race day like she and her friends usually did, the group volunteered the Friday before at the registration and bib pick-up tables at race headquarters in downtown Boston. It was a completely different vibe than being on the course on race day, but it was incredibly moving to interact with the runners as they arrived in Boston for the marathon. Many of the runners took a few minutes and shared their stories of how they got there and what they had overcome in the process. Some of them broke down in tears as they told their stories. It was really something special. Ali was surprised that she found it so rewarding and enlightening, but her whole group loved the new volunteer experience. They would go back to the starting line on race-day next year but then consider doing the bib pick-up again sometime in the future.

The Krieger clan went into Boston to cheer on the runners and spend the afternoon with friends and family. Everyone was happy to see Meg and made sure she had a good spot to see a little bit of the race wherever they happened to be located throughout the day. Hannah spent a lot of time catching up with Niki and Molly and their kids and did her best not to crowd her anxious daughter that day. She knew Meg was nervous about the big life-change coming up and that there was a storm brewing inside her. She only hoped the 17-year old could hold it together so they could get through the week without too much drama in front of all of Ashlyn’s friends. Everybody was excited for Meg’s college decision. It was a big deal among their group and everybody had an opinion on where she should go and why. Typically, it centered around where they themselves had attended college or grad school.

They went into a restaurant along the race route in the middle of the afternoon to try and beat some of the crowds for dinner. They fed the excited kids and then half of the grown-ups, mostly the men it turned out, took all the kids out to the public park down the street to run off some of their excitement with a rousing game of tag.

“I’m just sayin’” Molly winked and grinned, “Harvard is awesome and they have a D1 soccer program...”

“Yeah they do” Whitney nodded her head enthusiastically at her fellow alum. She felt a toothpick from some of the appetizers they had been sharing hit her in the neck. “Hey!”

“Judas” Ashlyn levelled her bestie with a death stare.

“Hey, listen” the lawyer quirked her eyebrow at the keeper. “UNC’s not on her list. I can’t pick it if it’s not there.”

“Harvard’s not really on my list either though” Meg tried to clarify, in vain.

“Yeah, but it could be” Molly smiled again. “It’s here in New England, it has a D1 program...”

“And I’ll never in a million years get in” Meg cut her off and rolled her eyes with a sheepish giggle.

Meg’s grades were very good but not excellent. She was relying on the combination of very good grades and test results along with excellent soccer talent to get her accepted to some of the top-flight schools on her list. Harvard was beyond her grasp and she knew it. It was the same with UNC, but for different reasons. She could play soccer for Harvard but didn’t have the grades for it. She had the grades for UNC but not the soccer skill required to see any playing time there. That had been the only reason Ashlyn and Whitney’s alma mater wasn’t on her list. It had been a tough call to make but Meg knew it had been the right one. Ashlyn understood. The fact that she was joking about it that marathon Monday was proof of that.

“BU baby!!” Sydney’s voice echoed through the room and got several shouts of support and cheers from random college kids and alumnae in the restaurant. They were in BU stomping grounds so no-one was surprised. “That’s what I’m talking about” she high-fived Ali who was sitting next to her with a big grin on her face.

“How about some BC love?” Niki shouted and got just as loud of a response from the other patrons.

“So you’re pushing BC and not UConn?” Hannah asked the UConn graduate and BC coach, surprised.

“UConn!! Let’s go Huskies!” Erin Campbell-Warren stood up and pumped her fist dramatically.

She had jumped up so quickly that her wife, Sarah, the architect and Ali’s ex, choked on the beer she had just swallowed. Everybody laughed at the enthusiastic woman and Niki grinned from ear to ear at Erin’s display. The two women had realized over the years that they had attended the university at the same time. Erin was Ali’s age and Niki was Ashlyn’s – one year behind. They didn’t know each other back then because Erin was never much of an athlete. The young horticulturist was always either in the lab or in the woods while Niki was playing soccer and trying to pass her classes.

“Well, it’s not easy, that’s for sure” Niki sighed. “My heart will always be with the Huskies, but BC is where it’s at now. You should definitely come to BC Meg, without a doubt.”

“Yeah, well we’ll just see about that after the insider tour on Friday” Ashlyn chimed in. “Hopefully Connecticut won’t steal her heart before she even gets to BC.”

“How did you pick BU and not Northeastern Ali?” Hannah asked, continuing the thread of people who had attended more than one school.

“I’ve got a lot of schools in my past” the brunette chuckled. “Penn State’s not on the list so that makes it a little easier. But I think BU has a better soccer program than Northeastern, at least right now they do” she shrugged. “But honestly you can’t go wrong with either one” she smiled at Meg. “Besides, I know a few of the BU soccer girls from back in the day and they’d kill me if I didn’t pick BU” she giggled.

“Yeah you do” Sydney winked.

“What, no love for Brown?” Tanner Wild asked, shaking his head. The Revs were in town between home games and he had the afternoon off and was happy to spend it with family and friends. “It’s your loss girl. That’s an amazing soccer program down there and a great school. I wouldn’t be where I am today without Brown.” 

“Aw, give the kid a break” Koty Wild shoved his younger brother’s shoulder. “It’s hard enough to pick the right college. None of you are helping you know” he laughed but some of those closest to him knew it was something he knew all too much about.

It was easy to forget that Koty had started at BC and struggled mightily. He didn’t make the soccer team and had been devastated by it. It led to him abusing alcohol and then, gradually, other drugs. People remembered his disastrous Christmas explosion from back then, but they often forgot what had been the starting point of it all. His wife, Brianna, rubbed his shoulder but didn’t say anything in the raucous crowd.

“Koty’s right” Deb said with a warm smile across the table for the young man who had gotten clean and stayed sober. “You just go visit them all and ask your questions” she spoke directly to her granddaughter. “You’ll know the one that’s right for you. Nobody else will know but you.”

The trip had begun on Saturday when Ashlyn, Ali, and the three youngest kids picked up Meg and Hannah at the airport in Boston. Drew was too cool for school and decided to stay home and go to Ethan’s house instead. The fact that Ali crammed herself into the way back seat between Josie and Lily and their booster seats on the way home told Ashlyn just how much her wife truly did love Meg. The kids were so excited to see their big sister that they could hardly contain themselves as they waited down by the luggage carousel for Hannah and Meg. Dodge never stopped moving for a second, nervous energy coursing through his body at breakneck speed.

“Dodger, if you don’t relax I’m taking you back to the minivan and we’ll wait there until everybody comes back out” Ashlyn dished out her most severe threat yet.

The soon-to-be 6-year old laughed loudly and then noticed how serious his Mama’s face was. 

“Do not test me son” she added for extra emphasis, her face a rigid, menacing stare.

“No Mommy, not like that” Josie rolled her eyes at Ali who was trying to use the latest kids gadget designed to fill their time. This year’s version was like a cross between the old fidget spinners and a color-matching game. You had to stop the spinner with your fingers at just the right time to complete the correct row of colors. “Here, I’ll show you again” the almost 8-year old reached for the small toy but Ali pulled it away and held it out of her reach as they sat side by side on the hard bench by the never-used payphones.

“No, I know how to do it Jose, I’m just not good at it yet” she laughed. “I’ll never get good at it if you keep taking it away from me.” The brunette focused on the toy between her finger and thumb and tried again.

“Mama, will Meggie remember us?” Lily tugged on Ashlyn’s hand as the keeper turned her attention back to the descending escalators and away from Dodge.

“What? Of course she’ll remember us you goofball” Ashlyn frowned and shook her head at her youngest girl. “We just saw her for February vacation and you just Facetimed her two nights ago.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot” Lily giggled and twirled around where she stood, her long, unruly blonde hair covering her face and making it impossible to see. 

Her momentum carried her off-balance and she fell sideways about four steps. She reached her arms out to catch herself and bumped into an older woman sitting on the next bench over. Lily pulled her hand away quickly and used both hands to move the hair out of her face so she could see what had stopped her fall. The older woman yelped in surprise.

“What the...?!”

“Lily!” Ashlyn yelled and took two long strides to pull her daughter away from the woman. “Watch where you’re going” she chastised and roughly pulled the girl into her own legs. “I’m so sorry” the keeper smiled apologetically at the woman and tried to see if Lily had knocked anything over or spilled anything.

The woman did not look amused. She frowned down her nose at Lily and then brought the same look up to Ashlyn. Ali was now paying attention – leaning forward to try and get a look at the situation around her wife’s body which was blocking her view. She let Josie take the spinner toy out of her hand and then held Dodge still in his spot between the two benches with a forceful snap of her fingers and a stern look.

“Tell the nice lady you’re sorry” Ashlyn instructed Lily as she held the girl’s back against the front of her long legs.

“Sorry” Lily mumbled.

Ashlyn looked over her shoulder at her wife, eyes searching for some sort of rescue measure to keep the kids under control for the next fifteen minutes or so. Ali dug around in her bag and pulled out a big, 8-1/2 x 11” advertisement for Josie’s upcoming play and stood up. She balled the stiff, colored paper up between her hands and tucked her phone into her back pocket. 

“You’re in charge of this” she nodded at her bag on the bench next to Josie, speaking to her wife. “And that” she nodded at the redhead. “Dodge, Lily, let’s go” she started walking off to the corner behind one of the carousels that wasn’t in use.

Dodge scampered behind her and Lily followed afterwards, eager to find out what their Mommy had up her sleeve. Ali stopped and turned around to face the twins, dropping the balled-up paper and kicking it to Dodge before it hit the ground. A little impromptu footy would always do the trick. Ashlyn smiled as she watched her beautiful brunette save the day again. It was the little things. Like the way Ali knew enough to situate their game so the kids were kicking in the direction of the wall and not the rest of the airport. God she loved that woman. She apologized one last time to the grumpy stranger on the bench and then sat down next to Josie and her toy to wait. Ali glanced over while Dodge fetched an errant pass and realized for the first time that Ashlyn was nervous as hell. The keeper was always excited to see Meg and that sometimes came out as nervous energy but this was different. This was something else. She was kind of cranky and short with the kids, not that they didn’t deserve it, and she seemed out of sorts in general. The more she thought about it, the more the brunette realized that her wife had been ‘off’ most of the day yesterday too. Ali had been so tense herself about hosting Hannah that she hadn’t picked up on it. Ashlyn had settled down in the evening after the kids were in bed and then seemed perfectly fine when they were having sex last night. Ok, better than fine in all honesty. But now she was tense and anxious again today. Ali made a mental note to check in with her keeper and find out what was bothering her.

Another 20 minutes went by before Josie’s voice rang out loudly.

“They’re here!!”

The whole Krieger clan surrounded the bottom of the escalator waiting to greet sweet Meg. The moms had to physically pull the younger kids back to give the new arrivals room to get off of the moving stairs. Hugs and kisses and squeals filled the air as the big group shuffled off to the side and out of the way. Hannah hung back a bit as she usually did, waiting for her daughter to be welcomed first. Ashlyn was always the first to hug the eldest redhead, followed by Ali and then the kids. It was awkward for a few minutes and then it all seemed perfectly chaotic and normal. Ashlyn and Meg shared a long hug, longer than usual. Ali watched her keeper and Meg carefully as she chatted idly with Hannah about the flight, helping her understand and interpret the kids’ rapid-fire questions. She saw Ashlyn lean back and lift Meg off the ground, but just barely. Meg was 5’10” by now and a whole inch taller than the blonde. Her face was full of an enormous grin as she kissed Ashlyn on the cheek and then squatted down to welcome three smaller bodies and hugs into her arms. Ashlyn looked on with her own dimpled smile, hands on her hips and unshed tears in her eyes. Again Ali noticed how emotional her wife was that day.

Emma Donaldson and Meg picked up right where they had left off after every visit the redhead had ever made to the big old house. They were very close friends and Ashlyn was sure it was because of the distance between them.

“I’m telling you, they’re not in each other’s business all day every day and it makes a difference” she explained Wednesday night, the second night in a row of Meg going to Emma’s house next door after the younger kids had gone to bed. “They don’t have a chance to piss each other off and they’re not fighting over the same boys...”

It was late, almost 11pm, and the three adults were just about to leave the family room where they had been enjoying some wine and conversation and head up to bed. The mudroom door burst open and an angry, red-faced Meg stomped into the kitchen. All three women were standing in different spots in the family room and had a good view of the adjoining kitchen. They glanced quickly at each other while Meg opened the refrigerator door so forcefully that they could all hear the various glass bottles and jars inside the door clinking against each other. 

“Hey, easy on the appliances” Ashlyn called out as she moved towards the kitchen, just past the pantry near the counter next to the fridge. “We promised Dodge he could be the one to destroy them if he behaved himself this week” she joked, hoping to make her step-daughter relax.

“Fine. Whatever” the teen huffed, grabbing a sports drink and slamming the fridge door again with a scowl.

“Meg, that’s enough...” Hannah started to chastise her daughter as she followed Ashlyn towards the kitchen.

“Yeah, I got it mom. I’ll be in my room” Meg spat out and turned on her heel to head back into the mudroom on her way to the front stairs.

“Come back here. Now” Ashlyn’s firm voice made Meg stop in her tracks and sigh loudly. 

It took a minute, some slumped shoulders and another petulant sigh, but the teen returned to stand in front of Ashlyn and Hannah in the kitchen. Ali hung back in the family room, re-taking her seat on the couch and listening curiously to what was happening. There was no sense in all three adults ganging up on the obviously upset teen.

“What?” Meg’s voice was equal parts anger and sadness.

“Exactly” Hannah gave her daughter a sharp look. “What is the problem?”

“I don’t have a problem.”

“The refrigerator says otherwise” Ashlyn frowned at the girl in front of her.

“I’m sorry about the stupid fridge” Meg rolled her eyes and sighed again. “Alright? Can I go now?”

“I don’t like your attitude. What happened at Emma’s?” the keeper folded her arms across her chest like she was ready to do battle.

“Nothing. I’m sorry” she shifted her weight and played with the plastic bottle in her hands, tipping it upside down and tilting it back and forth between them. “Can I please go now”

“Honey, we’ve been doing this a long time” Hannah chuckled. “Something’s bothering you and we’d like to help...”

“Nothing’s bothering me! Ok?!” Meg’s voice raised and her face looked like it was going to burst into tears any second. 

She gave the cap of the bottle a few more anxious twists and turns and it slipped from her hands to the tile floor of the kitchen. It burst open on impact and Gatorade exploded in all directions as it bounced up and then back down two more times.

“Damn it Meg!” Ashlyn yelled loudly, jumping at the loud sound of the drop and the explosion and the surprised scream that came from Hannah. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” she boomed, her face hard and angry.

Ali jumped up at the ruckus but kept her distance, not wanting to overwhelm the girl with another disapproving voice. She moved around the far side of the double-sided fireplace into the kitchen at the far end, by the backstairs and the sink. Hannah gave Ashlyn a quizzical look, surprised by how angry the keeper had become at a situation she normally would have just laughed off.

“I’m sorry!!” Meg wailed and burst into tears, pushing her way through the two women in front of her on her way to the sink for the paper towels. “I’ll clean it up! Just...just...leave me alone!!!”

She shouted the words over her shoulder as she moved towards the sink without looking. She ran right into Ali who was holding out the roll of paper towels for her, and they both yelped in surprise.

“Oh!”  
“Shit!”

Ashlyn and Hannah turned to follow her but stopped when they saw the collision. It looked to all of them like Meg was about to completely lose it and none of them were sure what was going to happen next. Meg and Ali looked at one another for a second, the brunette’s hands on the teen’s hips in an effort to steady her. Meg’s bottom lip quivered and, for a brief moment, Ali swore she was looking into her 5-year old step-daughter’s face again.

“It’s alright honey” she soothed and her soft words seemed to make the teenager melt into her arms. She wrapped her up in a hug and felt Meg give almost her whole weight to her. “Everything’s gonna be ok.”

Ashlyn and Hannah, both covered in Gatorade, looked at each other and shook their heads, still stunned by the turn of events. Hannah frowned at the keeper.

“What’s with you anyway? You were pretty hard on her” she whispered as Meg started to cry in earnest in Ali’s arms at the other end of the kitchen.

“No I wasn’t” Ashlyn defended herself, whispering back and pushing Persey away from the mess on the floor with her leg.

“Yes you were” Hannah challenged with a quirk of her eyebrow.

Ali started to guide Meg, still in her arms, into the family room and towards the couch. She kicked the roll of paper towels the length of the kitchen to her wife on her way. They rolled to a stop at Ashlyn’s feet but neither she nor Hannah noticed because they were engaged in a heated whisper-argument. It took a couple of minutes but the brunette was finally sitting on the couch in the family room with Meg, now whimpering and starting to come out of her crying fit. Ali sat holding Meg and watching Ashlyn clean up the Gatorade spill in the kitchen. Hannah wasn’t there anymore and the brunette wondered how their little battle had ended.

“I’m...I’m sorry...” Meg sniffled and sat back to wipe her face and take a few more deep breaths.

“It’s ok Meg” Ali kept her hand on the girl’s shoulder, rubbing it softly as her arm leaned on the back of the couch. They were quiet for another long minute. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“About what?” she lifted her red, splotchy face up to look bashfully at Ali.

“Whatever’s bothering you. Whatever it is, you can tell me. If you want to. You don’t have to, but...”

“Emma just said a bunch of stupid things about prom, that’s all” Meg cut the brunette off and dropped her eyes to her lap.

“Oh, well, that’s too bad” Ali’s mind was spinning as she tried to imagine where this was headed. It was late and she was tired and she was worried that she might not be at her best when Meg needed her the most. “Like what kind of things?” she pushed a little after another quiet minute.

Meg took her time, trying to decide what she wanted to share and what she didn’t want to have to deal with that night. She looked over her shoulder to see Ashlyn with the mop and sighed heavily, guilt flooding her face.

“Don’t worry about it” Ali nodded towards the kitchen and lowered her voice. “Lily dropped her yogurt there this afternoon and I should have mopped the floor then” she giggled conspiratorially. “And something’s bothering her too” she paused as she looked at her wife again, wondering how much to tell the teen. “I don’t know what it is yet, but she’s been barking at everybody this week, tonight was just your turn.”

“Yeah, I could tell they were gonna fight soon” Meg smiled just a tiny bit when she looked up at the brunette again. “I think this whole trip is freaking them out.”

“Well, it’s freaking me out a little bit too” Ali admitted and squeezed Meg’s knee with her other hand. “I can’t believe you’re old enough to be planning your college already. It feels like just yesterday you and I were going on adventures in the backyard, climbing up the big rock and exploring the extra lot” she sighed. 

“I remember that” Meg grinned back. “I thought it was so cool that you let me climb to the top of that rock...”

“Ashlyn wasn’t so happy with me for that” Ali chuckled softly. 

“Really?”

“I think she was just wishing she had been the one who got to stay home and play with you that day” she smiled warmly at the redhead.

“I can’t believe I’m almost done with my junior year” she continued after another pause. “It went by so fast.”

“It always does honey” Ali tilted her head and moved her fingers to play with some of the coppery curls on Meg’s shoulder. “That’s one of the things about being a grown-up...things always go so much faster than you want them to. And you’re always tired” she laughed. 

“I don’t feel like a grown-up. I still feel like a kid and I’m not sure...” she stopped and they were quiet again for a couple of minutes.

“Not sure about what?”

Meg didn’t answer so Ali finally pushed forward a little bit, thinking the conversation was winding down.

“Just remember that you have a whole year left. Your senior year can be one of the very best times of your life so make sure you enjoy it and embrace it. I’m not saying go crazy and ruin your GPA or anything like that” she chuckled again, watching Meg chew her bottom lip. “Just have fun but be smart – keep making good decisions Meg. You’ve always done a pretty good job of that. Next year you’ll need to do more of the same...”

“Emma says all anybody wants to do at the prom is have sex” Meg uttered the words so quickly and so closely together that Ali had to take a minute and replay it in her head to try and understand it. The teen kept her eyes in her lap and held her breath.

“Oh, umm...well, she’s gone to a junior prom a lot more recently than I have...” Ali stammered, her eyes wide and her heart racing all of a sudden. “But I don’t think they’ve changed all that much...”

“She says there are parties, after-prom parties, where everybody...hooks up. And if you go to one of those parties you have to...umm...you can’t...I mean, the guys get really mad if you don’t...hook up with them.” Meg’s face was beet red and she tugged at the elastic around the ankle of her joggers in her lap as she stole quick glances at the flustered brunette.

Ali knew that both Ashlyn and Hannah had talked with Meg several times about sex and boys and pregnancy and peer pressure and all of the other things that made being 17 and a junior in high school so stressful and complicated. Meg had a very womanly body, much like her mother’s – complete with large breasts and generous curves, and she had been bothered by unwanted attention from boys for the past couple of years. Hannah and Ashlyn had explained that sex and dating and anything romantic should always be something she participated in only if she was comfortable doing it. Up to this point, Meg had kissed a few boys and done a little making out and groping in the car at the end of the ride home from a movie or date, but that was about it. And she was in no real rush to change that. She honestly felt like her world was full enough with school and soccer and basketball and her friends. She barely had time to date and she found the boys she went out with to be really immature and boring. Except for Marcus. She really really liked Marcus but he didn’t seem to want anything other than friendship with the redhead. Hannah suspected Marcus might be gay and either unaware of it yet or struggling to accept it. It was just a hunch though, a mother’s intuition, and she hadn’t shared it with Meg.

“Hmmm, well are you going to your junior prom? I thought you weren’t going? Or are you just worried about this because you’re going to one of the parties...”

“I asked Marcus” the teen lowered her voice at the same time she dropped her head down. “But he already asked somebody else” she sucked in a breath and grimaced at the awkward memory.

“Oh, I’m sorry sweetheart” Ali tried her best not to be too motherish, even though her heart broke at the thought of sweet Meg being brave and confident enough to ask a boy she liked to junior prom and then getting turned down. “That’s a tough one” she nodded thoughtfully. “So...you’re not going?”

“I think a bunch of us are just going to go solo” she shrugged, happy to have gotten past the Marcus part of the conversation. 

“Honestly, I think that sounds like more fun anyway” Ali squeezed Meg’s leg again and then patted it. “I wish I’d done that.” They were quiet again for a minute and Ali realized that she wasn’t off the hook yet. She was secretly hoping Meg would just let that be the end of it and head up to bed. But when the silence stretched on and the teen blinked up at her with questioning eyes she knew she had to address the rest of it. “And as for the after-prom parties and the...hooking up, first of all, when we say hooking up we mean having sex, right?”

“God Ali” Meg blushed and rolled her eyes, “yessss.”

“Ok, well sometimes I’m not sure anymore so I just thought I’d clarify” she defended herself and cleared her throat. She noticed that Ashlyn was no longer in the kitchen and wondered how she had escaped this conversation. “I know you know this Meg, but sometimes it’s hard to remember it or believe it when your friends are telling you different things or making you think you’re wrong – but you don’t ever have to have sex until you want to, until you’re ready to. There’s not a time limit on it or an expiration date. I know a lot of tv shows and movies and videos and stuff show teenagers having sex but it’s just not what really happens.”

“It’s not?”

“No honey, in real life most teenagers aren’t having sex yet. They go on dates and have boyfriends and girlfriends and they, you know, kiss and make out and things like that” she squirmed in her seat a bit but kept going, her step-daughter’s rapt attention spurring her on. “But they’re not having sex until they’re older.”

“How much older?”

“Everybody’s experience is a little different, but the study I was reading said that most girls waited until they were in college, around 19 or 20, to have sex for the first time” she shrugged and furrowed her brow as she tried to remember the article she had recently read on the subject. After thinking about Drew’s impending puberty, the brunette had done some research.

“Boys too?”

“It said boys had sex a little earlier than girls did.”

“How is that possible if the girls are waiting?” Meg looked up at her, confused.

“I think they’re saying that the boys are having sex with girls who are a few years older” Ali smiled having wondered the same thing herself at first. “Is someone pressuring you to have sex?”

“No, not really” Meg shrugged and dropped her eyes.

“Are your friends saying they’re having sex already?”

“No” she shook her head quickly. “Some of the older girls on the team, the basketball team, they’ve had sex already.”

“Some of the senior girls? They told you this?”

“Yeah, we were all talking about it on one of our bus rides. They said they...lost their...virginity” Meg swallowed, her mouth suddenly very very dry, “on prom night.”

“Everybody’s different Meg. And if that’s what felt right to them then I hope they were smart about it and used protection and took care of themselves...”

“Ugh” Meg groaned and closed her eyes. “Do we have to talk about that?”

“If you’re not mature enough to talk about condoms and STDs and teen pregnancy then there’s no way you’re ready to have sex in the first place” Ali’s back stiffened, unwilling to indulge the teen on those important realities. “And those senior girls should have told all of you about that part of their experience too. That would have been the right way to handle that.”

Meg sat with a frustrated, embarrassed frown on her face for another couple of minutes.

“I didn’t have sex until I was in college” the brunette offered quietly, after the silence. Ali could sense Meg’s intense curiosity even though the girl was determinedly avoiding looking her way. “I was busy with soccer and school and my friends...and I just wasn’t ready before then” she shrugged. “A couple of my friends and teammates had sex towards the end of high school, but most of them didn’t. You’ll know when you’re ready Meg. The trick is to not let anybody else, your friends or your boyfriend, try to tell you when that is. Only you can know when you’re ready.”

It was quiet again and Ali was thankful that she was working from home that week for school vacation. The thought of getting up and into the shower at 6am the next morning would have made her cry just then otherwise. She waited for Meg to say something or to get up and leave, but the redhead sat there, playing with her joggers, thinking hard.

“Did Emma have sex on prom night? And now you feel like you should too, because one of your best friends did?”

“She didn’t have sex” Meg looked up quickly, shyly. “But her boyfriend wanted to and got really mad at her and they had a big fight about it last year. They broke up last summer because of it.”

Things were starting to become clearer to Ali now about why Meg had been so upset when she stormed into the house almost an hour ago.

“It bothers you sometimes that you don’t have a boyfriend, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah” she sighed and slumped her shoulders. “Sometimes.”

“And did you feel like Emma was a lot farther away from you tonight when she was talking about the after-prom parties and sex and all of that? Like maybe you weren’t as close friends with her as you used to be?”

“Yeah” Meg whimpered and her bottom lip started to quiver again.

“Aw Meggie” Ali frowned as the girl started to cry again and leaned forward into the brunette’s chest as they had started their time on the couch that night. Ali held her and rubbed her back as she tried to find the right words to comfort and reassure her. “It’s hard for you two because you live so far away from each other. Although Ashlyn thinks that’s why you’ve been able to stay best friends all this time” she explained softly. “I think Emma was just trying to look out for you tonight and that’s why she was telling you her junior prom story.” There was a pause as Meg tried to stop crying and calm herself down. Ali waited and then continued when she felt the teen’s heartrate slow down again. “If you weren’t still best friends, and if you weren’t really important to her, I don’t think she would have bothered to share all of that with you.”

“You don’t?”

“No I really don’t.” Ali smiled at the girl as she sat back upright again with a slightly hopeful look on her puffy face. “I’ll bet she’s pretty confused about why you left there tonight. She thought she was doing a good thing and trying to prepare you...”

“And I acted like a baby and took off. Ugh” Meg shook her head and rolled her eyes at herself. “This week is weird. I guess I mean I feel weird about this week.”

“That’s understandable” Ali nodded, her arm still around the teen’s shoulders as Meg shifted so they were sitting side by side on the couch. “I think we’re all having a weird week, and that’s ok. We just have to keep being nice to each other and it’ll all be ok. It’s just one week. Nothing’s really going to change for a whole other year. We all need to keep that in mind.”

“How much trouble do you think I’m in with mom and Ash?”

“I’ll talk to them” she squeezed Meg and kissed the side of her head. “Can I tell them what we talked about or do you want to keep that private?”

“Ummm...” Meg scrunched her face up as she thought about it. “You can tell them I guess” she shrugged and then yawned. “But not about the girls on my team” she turned a fearful face to look at the brunette. “Mom might not let me hang out with them anymore.”

“Ok, just the Emma stuff...”

“And don’t tell Emma’s mom!” her face was horror-stricken at the thought.

“I won’t. I swear” Ali agreed. “But you have to promise to tell me if any of Emma’s boyfriends ever make her feel like she has to have sex with them, or if they ever try to force her to. That’s never ok. Deal?”

“Deal. Thanks Ali.”

“You’re welcome honey, and thank you for talking with me tonight. I love you kiddo.”

“I love you too.”

The week had definitely been weird. As if the stress of looking at colleges and dealing with the fast-approaching future wasn’t enough, Suburu was there to get some footage for the next, Spring, commercial they were putting out. The idea for this one was getting the kids at school and during their sports routines and they would do some of that next week when April vacation was over for the kids. Ashlyn had asked the producers if they could do the commercial while Meg was visiting so she could finally be in one of the family-themed ads. It had bothered the keeper that the redhead hadn’t been in any of them to that point. The producers agreed and when the scheduling was finalized, they jumped at the chance to get some shots of the family celebrating at the Marathon as well as at the Breakers home opener the following Saturday evening. So while Meg was enjoying her very first Boston Marathon, there was a Suburu camera crew following the Krieger clan around as inconspicuously as possible. Ashlyn put limits on where they could be and what they could film and they, as always, honored her requests. The same thing went for the shoot at the stadium. It wasn’t too hard to figure out where they would want to shoot. Where would the latest and greatest family SUV-minivan be? Parking lots at the stadium and busy Boston streets for the Marathon, and the driveway of the big old house – as usual. They finally were able to work in the shot of the middle back row seat being occupied and the mini-van completely filled with 7 family members and, of course, one dog. Ashlyn had posted a sweet RIP message on her social media after Fred had died so her fans knew he wasn’t around anymore. Both Meg and Hannah were excited about the commercial and, amidst all the squabbling and nervous energy that took up so much space that week, they both made sure to tell Ashlyn just how much they appreciated the inclusion.

After the Meg and Emma fight Wednesday night, the teen had fought with her mother the next night, and then Ashlyn on Friday afternoon during the VIP Boston College tour with Niki Cross. 

“Let her go” Niki urged, as she held onto Ashlyn’s arm and nodded at Hannah as all three of them watched Meg stomp away from them. “Just give her a few minutes on her own. Trust me.”

They had just finished walking through the locker room and practice fields for the women’s soccer team in Chestnut Hill – a part of the city of Boston. Meg had bristled when Ashlyn continued the playful, antagonistic teasing with Niki about how BC would really have to step up its recruiting game if they hoped to land top prospect Meg Doucette from Woodrow Wilson high school in Tenleytown DC. The teasing wasn’t really about Meg at all. It was just Ashlyn’s way of busting Niki’s chops and all three grown-ups knew it. But to the teenager it sounded like a lot of pressure and a lot of expectations and a lot of potential ways she could let so many of the people who loved her down. She had snapped at Ashlyn and the keeper had snapped back and it had devolved into a pretty heated argument about who knew what was best for the teenager. The three adults watched the tall redhead walk quickly down the path towards the soccer pitch as they stood there with different looks of surprise and shock on their faces.

“I see it all the time, it gets overwhelming when they’re here because it’s starting to get real” the coach continued, patting each mom on their back as she stood between them. “She’s ok. You guys have done a great job with her. She’s a wonderful kid and BC really would be lucky to get her. I know I’m going to do everything I can to make it happen. Don’t tell her that just in case something goes really sideways, but she’s my top prospect and I’ve been very vocal about her for the last year now.”

“For a whole year already?” Hannah’s mouth fell open as she turned to look at Niki.

“Yeah. She’s really really good and I think she could compete for the starter’s job her freshman year.”

“Really? Her freshman year?” Ashlyn raised her eyebrows as she looked at Niki.

“Absolutely” Niki nodded again. “I think you’re too close to it to see clearly” she nudged the keeper with her elbow. “It’s like you’re judging her extra harshly because she’s your kid. But she’s really talented. She should have her pick of schools.”

“Even the other big ones?” Hannah asked, her eyes widening at the unvarnished assessment. 

BC qualified as a big D1 soccer school, without a doubt, and both Hannah and Ashlyn knew that with Niki’s insider info on Meg and her ability and willingness to vouch for her off-field work ethic and attitude, Meg had a very good chance at being recruited by BC and finding a very good home with the team. They assumed the other big schools wouldn’t be as interested without someone like Niki in their ears.

“Those are always tougher, but she’ll be competitive there too. Maybe without scholarship money though.”

The truth was that Hannah could afford to send Meg wherever she wanted without a penny of scholarship money. Most of Ashlyn and Ali’s friends had an idea that Hannah had made out well from her divorce but it wasn’t something they ever talked about in any detail. Niki honestly didn’t know if Meg would need scholarship money or not to attend one of the big schools with world-class soccer programs.

“She’s so testy this week” Ashlyn commented, her eyes still on the girl, now far away, making her way to the pitch.

“Well so are you” Hannah leaned forward and quirked her eyebrow at her ex. “Between the two of you it’s like a tinder box just ready to explode.”

“Yeah, I picked up on that too” Niki chuckled and moved behind her friend with both hands on her shoulders, rubbing them to try and loosen her up. “You alright there keep?”

“I’m fine. I don’t know why everybody keeps asking me that” she muttered and shook her head with a scowl on her face.

Niki and Hannah shared a wry look behind Ashlyn’s back and let it go. Clearly the blonde wasn’t ready to deal with whatever she had going on inside her that week, and they both knew well enough to leave it alone. It wasn’t until Ali forced her wife to talk to her Saturday night after the big and busy day full of Evan Cross’ 9th birthday party, the Suburu shoot at the stadium, the Breakers home opener, and the celebratory craziness with the team immediately afterwards. They hadn’t gotten home until almost 11pm and had carried sleeping children up to beds and said goodnight to Meg and Hannah and given poor lonely Persey some attention that they had a chance to talk about it. The brunette had been firm and unflinching as she pushed her keeper to tell her what had been bothering her for almost 9 days now. It had taken some doing, but the two had connected and opened up to each other about their fears and hopes for sweet Meg and the next phase of her young life. That connection, as always, empowered Ashlyn to do what she should have done at the very beginning of the week – talk to Meg about it.

“I can’t believe you fricken woke me up at 5:30 in the morning...unbelievable...this better be good...it’s still dark out for God’s sake...” Meg grumbled and complained the whole walk down to the beach Sunday morning. 

The teenager hugged one of Ashlyn’s warm winter coats tighter to her body and was thankful for the warm hat on her head and mittens on her hands. It was only about 48 degrees outside that morning and she was glad she had followed the blonde’s instructions on what to wear. Ashlyn didn’t say very much as she strode along in front of her, carrying two blankets and a backpack over her shoulder. She turned around every couple of minutes to make sure the grumpy teen was still shuffling along the dark street and smiled to herself at how uncomfortable and out of sorts she looked.

“Seriously?” Meg’s eyebrows went up as she watched her step-mom scale the big rock.

“Toss me those blankets” Ashlyn snapped her fingers from the top of the big rock. “And quit whining. Jesus, if my 43-year old ass can get up here you sure as hell can.” She smirked to herself when she saw Meg’s jaw set. Challenge accepted. “There’s a toe-hold...” she began to explain the best way to climb the side of the rock, but Meg’s tired but determined voice cut her off.

“I can do it.” 

As they sat there side by side on one blanket with the other one wrapped around both of their shoulders to shield them from the cold breeze coming off the Atlantic Ocean, Ashlyn felt enormous pride swelling in her heart. They held thermoses in their free hands, coffee for Ashlyn and hot chocolate for Meg who had never acquired a taste for coffee, and slowly sipped at them as they stared straight ahead at the ocean and the still-dark sky above it. The sun was just starting to come up and there was a thin sliver of color just along the horizon. Ashlyn knew from experience that it wouldn’t take long, maybe only 15 minutes, for the sun to rise all the way up and fill the entire sky. It was a little overcast that morning so it wouldn’t be the most breathtaking sunrise ever, but it would do the trick. It would be magic enough.

“So...do you come here a lot?” Meg giggled after a couple of minutes of peaceful quiet.

“Nice” Ashlyn shook her head but couldn’t keep the small smile from her lips. “I go to all this trouble to bring you here and you bust my chops. I see how it is.”

Meg bumped her shoulder into Ashlyn’s without saying anything and they were both quiet for another couple of minutes.

“This is my favorite place to watch the sunrise” the keeper offered quietly as the sky started to get brighter. “It’s pretty special.”

“Oh my God” Meg turned to look at the woman who had been in her corner, fighting for her and supporting her, for as long as she could remember. “This is where Ali proposed! This is your rock!”

The smile on Ashlyn’s face was all the answer Meg needed and she closed her mouth and turned her attention back to the turbulent sea in front of them.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch this week...” Ashlyn began.

“I’m sorry too, I...”

“No Meggie, let me, please” she swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “You’re the kid. I’m the grown-up. I’m the one who’s supposed to be better. You’re the one who’s allowed to be confused and scared and bitchy” she winked at the girl who smiled back shyly. “I love you so much and I’m so proud of you and I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you’re going to go to college and keep kicking ass, just like you’ve done in high school. So let’s just get that right out there. None of this has anything to do with how awesome you are. Do you understand that?”

“I think so.”

“Good. Don’t ever forget that” the keeper smiled and nodded out at the horizon. “Keep watching. The show’s out there” she bumped Meg’s shoulder and kept going. “I’m nervous about you going to college. But not for the reasons you probably think. I’m not worried about how you’ll do there. I know you’ll make the team and you’ll make friends and you’ll do well in your classes and you’ll keep making me so fucking proud” she paused for another deep breath to collect herself. “I’m worried that...that you won’t need me anymore” she squeaked out as a wave of emotion closed up her throat.

Meg put her thermos down and wrapped both arms around Ashlyn’s waist as she leaned her head on top of her still-strong shoulder. She didn’t say anything because she was just as emotional and no words would come out of her own throat. She just squeezed the keeper and tried to keep breathing.

“But that’s what parenting is all about” Ashlyn sniffled and looked up to try and keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. “If you do it right then your kid grows up to be a smart, strong young woman who doesn’t need you to do everything for her anymore. I know that’s how it goes, but damn does it hurt sometimes.”

“I’ll always need you though” Meg’s small voice finally said. “I can’t imagine a time when I won’t need you. I just can’t” she admitted softly. “Maybe it’ll be for different things. Hopefully not for tying my shoes or wiping my butt anymore” she chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. She was happy to hear Ashlyn laugh along with her and squeeze her back. “But I know I’m gonna need you more than ever when it comes to soccer, for sure. There aren’t a lot of people in my life who played D1 college soccer and won championships and kept up all her classes and everything too. That’s not an every day thing. Or at least that’s what my guidance counselor says” she rolled her eyes and giggled. 

“He’s not wrong about that” Ashlyn nodded.

“He’s an idiot” Meg laughed. “But he means well. That’s what mom always says.”

“Listen, I brought you up here to apologize and to tell you how proud I am of you and to let you know that I’ve got your back no matter what you do next or where you decide to go to school, not for you to give me a pep talk. But thanks, I really needed that” she grinned and leaned her head over to rest on top of Meg’s for a minute, warm hat to warm hat. “Instead of just talking with you about this right away I pushed it down and tried to just muscle my way through the week and I’m sorry Meggie. I hope I didn’t ruin the whole trip for you.”

“I did the same thing though. I just had my little fits when I couldn’t handle something and ran away from the problem. Too many feelings” she rolled her eyes. “Way too many feelings going on this week.”

“Well, maybe next time we’ll both do better” the keeper encouraged as they both sat up again, eyes focused on the colorful sky in front of them.

“And you didn’t ruin anything Ash. I had a great week. I got to be in a commercial for God’s sake! How many kids get to say that?”

“That was long overdue. I’m glad the schedules worked out. Between yours and mine it’s a wonder we even see each other at all” Ashlyn chuckled.

“It’ll be easier once college starts” Meg bumped her again.

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn smiled and turned to look at the grinning girl next to her.

“Chestnut Hill is a lot closer than Tenleytown, that’s all I’m saying” Meg grinned even bigger, her eyes straight ahead, ignoring the intense look from the blonde next to her. She nodded towards the chilly ocean and the beautiful sky as she spoke the next words with a smirk on her face. “Keep watching, the show’s out there.” 

**********  
The dark basement bedroom flickered with the light from the laptop where a YouTube channel was playing videos of Ali and Ashlyn set to music. The journal opened and the pen went back to the page...

4-22-29  
There’s so much stuff on the internet about these two it’s amazing. People follow their relationship and they even have a ship name ‘Krashlyn’. Ali hates it apparently but Ashlyn doesn’t seem to care. Wonder what that tells you about them. Ha ha. There are pics from all these events they’ve gone to. They get dressed up and look gorgeous together. Some kind of charity ball or something at Christmas.   
Ashlyn works from home most of the time and Ali works from the K-H office in Cambridge. I’ll have to go check that out. I wonder if anybody knows their address? One of these Tumblr girls must know it.  
Fuck those pills. I flushed most of them. They just make me fat anyway. Janice and Edward can fuck off too. I’ll just keep asking for the refills and then flush them again. They’ll never know. They’re so fucking stupid.   
Ash & Ali & their family were all at the Boston Marathon and there was some red-headed woman there too, and an older girl – I think that’s Meg. Ash posts about her sometimes. And then they all went to the Breakers first home game of the year. I’ll have to check that out too. Might have to start going to those games. I wonder where they sit? It looked like a luxury box but I’m not sure.  
Oh! There’s a fundraiser for one of their friends – the lawyer...Whitney, yeah that’s her name. I should go.   
She looks so good. Like, damn good. God, what I wouldn’t give to be with her... 


	6. Life is Short

Somehow the calendar turned to May and nobody was really sure just how it had happened so quickly. Baseball and softball youth seasons were heating up with Ashlyn coaching both Josie and Lily’s teams while Ali was the assistant coach for Dodge’s baseball team. Instead of spending three nights a week and all day Saturday at the youth soccer fields, they did the same thing but at the youth baseball/softball diamonds instead. Such was life with four kids who loved to play sports and two moms who tried to be as engaged as possible. Drew and Ethan’s youth baseball team was really good. Sam Machado was still coaching and nobody could argue with his methods or results. He was a good coach who was patient with the kids while still expecting and demanding that they pay attention and practice good fundamentals at all times. Drew had a great arm and Sam really wanted him to pitch now that the teams were actually using kid pitchers instead of just having the coaches up there lobbing balls to the batters like they did with the younger kids. The kids on Drew’s team were 9 & 10 years old and they knew what they were doing on the diamond. Getting them to pay attention and be ready was something altogether different but if they were on their game they knew what to do with the ball once they got it. And if they didn’t, well Sam and the assistant coach were always shouting it out to them from the bench area.

“Where’s the play going boys?” Sam would shout as the next batter for the other team got ready to hit. “How many outs?” he prodded when nobody replied.

“One!” one of the kids in the infield shouted back.

“That’s right. Good job Kevin. Ok so one out and a runner on first...where’s the play?” Sam tried again.

“Second!” another infielder called out and pointed with his glove to second base, which was wide open.

“Yes! Thank you Timmo” Sam nodded his head as he continued to shout to be heard. “So why is nobody covering second base?”

The assistant coach who was over coaching third base clapped his hands loudly and yelled at the team to wake up. The kid playing second base jogged over to the bag just as the umpire told the pitcher to get to work. Drew licked his lips and adjusted his ballcap as he gripped the baseball in his right hand. He turned it slowly inside his glove as he stepped up to the pitching mound and looked at his catcher and the batter. He could hear both his moms’ voices encouraging him from the stands as well as his Grandpa and Vivi. He swallowed hard and blinked his eyes a few times before stepping off the mound again and shaking his head.

“Come on Drew, you got this buddy!” Sam shouted and clapped from the bench.

“Let’s go” the umpire urged, annoyance clearly evident in his voice.

There was absolutely no need for any pitcher to be messing around on the mound like that at this stage of the youth baseball program. Yes, the pitchers now could get the ball across the plate in the relative area of the strike zone. But they didn’t have actual pitches that they could call upon. They all just threw the ball as hard as they could towards their catcher’s mitt and hoped for the best. Nobody ever stepped back off the mound unless a bug flew into their eye or their mouth or something like that.

“One more time and he’s done” the umpire warned Sam, referring to Drew’s penchant for stalling the way he was now.

“Aw, come on ump, give him a break” Sam threw his hands up in the air and gestured at the umpire who took his position behind the catcher again.

“What’s he doing?” Ashlyn whispered anxiously to her wife who was sitting next to her in the aluminum stands next to the team bench area.

“I don’t know” Ali blew out a loud, anxious sigh. “He’s been doing this a lot. It’s driving everybody crazy.”

Ashlyn hadn’t been at as many of Drew’s games as she would have liked because of her coaching duties for Josie and Lily’s teams. But she had been to more than a few earlier in April and this had never happened.

“Does he have another pitch that we don’t know about?” she whispered again, chuckled and looked around at the frustration on the other parents’ faces.

“Nope. Just...don’t make a big deal out of it. He gets shy about it.”

A few days later, after another similar experience with Drew stalling on the mound, Sam Machado pulled Ali and Ashlyn aside while Ken and Vicki kept their eyes on the kids who were running around with several other younger siblings and having a fun time in the big empty field behind them.

“So listen guys” he took a breath and put his hands on his hips as he stood in front of them. “I love Drew on the mound. He’s got a great arm. But the umps won’t let me play him anymore because he takes so long up there. I’m really sorry.”

“That’s fine Sam. Just play him somewhere else” Ashlyn shrugged. “He’s a great shortstop too, you know that.”

“I do know that and I’d love to have him anywhere in the infield. He’s one of the best players on the team, by far” he nodded. “But he said next time he’ll just sit on the bench instead of pitching.”

“What? Why?” Ali’s mama lion started to roar just a bit and Ashlyn gave her a look to tell her to tone it down.

“I don’t know” Sam looked from one woman to the other. “I was hoping you could tell me.”

“We’ll talk to him, figure out what’s going on. Thanks Sam. I appreciate the heads up” Ashlyn smiled at him, genuinely grateful for the information and the careful way he had delivered it.

Drew had been seeing the child psychologist since just after Easter, going every two weeks and talking to a very nice, smart, encouraging young woman who was supposed to help them figure out what was making Drew’s stomach so upset all the time. Dr. Comello had recommended her and referred her and even Mattie Olsen, Ashlyn and Ali’s therapist, had heard of her and vouched for her excellent track record and sound methods. Ali and Ashlyn trusted Dr. Comello and Mattie Olsen, quite literally, with their lives and took the plunge. Ali, as was her way, did a bunch of research about child psychologists and why they were effective or ineffective. She learned a little bit about their methods and tried to prepare herself for what some of the outcomes might be for her eldest son. When they brought Drew to the first appointment Ali was surprised when the child psychologist, Dr. Murphy, asked she and Ashlyn to go back out to the waiting room after about 20 minutes of all four of them together in the doctor’s private office. Dr. Murphy explained that she wanted to let Drew dictate how the hour would be spent. At all future appointments, she would ask the moms to wait in the waiting room until Drew asked for them to come in and join them. Sometimes, especially at the beginning when it was all a bit new and scary, Drew would call them in after only 10 minutes alone with the doctor. But gradually, as he got more comfortable in the environment and with Dr. Murphy, he would wait longer and longer to call them in. She explained that it empowered the patient and gave them a sense of control that often helped them open up to her more easily and more honestly. When Ashlyn asked Mattie Olsen about it after the first appointment the older therapist praised the uncommon but brilliant approach.

“So Drew and I have had a good talk” Dr. Murphy smiled warmly at the boy as she welcomed Ali and Ashlyn into her office with about 30 minutes left in the hour. That was pretty good for only Drew’s third appointment and all three women knew it. “Is there anything you two would like to talk about with us?”

“Well” Ashlyn cleared her throat and spoke in her clear, high voice, smiling carefully at both Drew and the doctor. “We’re curious about your pitching this year. You’ve always loved playing baseball and you really wanted to pitch this year and you were so excited when Sam gave you that role” she paused. “We don’t understand why you seem to be so uncomfortable when you’re on the mound. And why you don’t want to play in the infield instead.”

“We’re not saying there’s anything wrong with any of it” Ali added with her own smile. “We just want to understand what’s going on honey.”

The next 30 minutes were incredibly frustrating and agonizingly unproductive for the two moms. Their only hope was that Dr. Murphy could make some headway with him at the next visit, possibly without them in the room. That was a real stinger too. The idea that one of their own kids would be more comfortable talking to a stranger about his deepest thoughts and fears than he was talking to them, hurt like hell. Dr. Sereno had warned them not to expect a quick fix and they were realizing how right she was, as usual. They would need to be patient and persistent and they were determined to do just that.

//

The rest of the month was jam-packed with birthdays and Spring concerts both at the elementary school and at the music studio up in Rockport. Josie’s play, ‘Peter Pan’, went off without too many hitches and the little redhead shone in both her parts as a lost boy and a mermaid. The play was the week before Memorial Day so all of the Florida grandparents came up to Gloucester and Manchester for the twins’ 6th birthday on May 13th and stayed through Drew’s 10th birthday on May 27th which was the Sunday of the long Memorial Day weekend. It was the trifecta for visiting grandparents and Tammye and Carol stayed up in Meg’s guest room on the third floor of the big old house for 2-1/2 weeks. They envied Deb and Mike Christopher having their own condo and spending the entire summer there. It was becoming harder and harder for Tammye and Carol to leave after each visit North. The kids were all growing and changing so fast and they were afraid to miss any of it. Tammye had never heard Josie play her piano solos, for example, except from the videos that Ali sent out faithfully each time. 

“So girls, we wanted to talk with you about something” Tammye broached the subject one evening after dinner while Ali and Ashlyn were cleaning up the kitchen and the kids and Persey were all racing around the backyard with Deb and Mike like crazy people, trying to enjoy their last hour of freedom before showertime, storytime and bedtime.

“Oh shit” Ashlyn stopped dead in her tracks with a pained expression on her face. “Who’s sick? What’s the matter?”

“Why does something always have to be wrong for us to want to talk to you?” Carol laughed as she rubbed the keeper’s stiff shoulders from behind. “You worry too much, you know that?”

“Can you come sit for a minute? Please?” Tammye asked and motioned towards the small 2-person table in the kitchen. She pulled over the two extra chairs from their usual places on either side of the big fireplace, the one on the right being used as the time-out chair for the household. “It’s nothing bad, I promise.”

“And now I know why mom and Mike were so eager to get the kids outside” Ali chuckled, admiring the covert way the grandparents had colluded to guarantee a quiet, empty house for at least a few minutes.

“Teamwork” Carol grinned as she sat down.

“I can’t take it, just...just tell us” Ashlyn actually looked pale from her nerves working overtime about the talk.

“You are a fool, you know that?” Tammye laughed at her daughter as she reached across the table to take her hand, patting it and then wincing when Ashlyn squeezed too hard. “Oooh, careful now” she pulled her hand back and carefully flexed her stiff, misshapen fingers.

“Shit, I’m sorry mom” Ashlyn looked even more anxious than she had a minute earlier.

“Just breathe babe” Ali put her hand on her wife’s thigh reassuringly and spoke evenly. “It’s not bad. They told us that already. Just relax.”

Tammye bravely reached her arthritic hand back across the table and the keeper took it tenderly in her own as Carol watched, relieved.

“We love coming up here and spending time with you all in the summer” she started, the southern ‘you all’ she had picked up from years of living with Carol – a true southerner, sounding more and more normal every time she said it. “We love when you come down and stay with us too. It’s just wonderful to spend time with you and the kids, no matter where or when it happens” Tammye grinned.

“It’s gotten harder to leave here after a visit” Carol continued with her own warm smile. “And we were wondering what you would think if we spent more time up here during the summers.”

“That’d be awesome!” Ashlyn’s face exploded in a dimpled grin and she looked like a kid on Christmas morning. “Seriously?” she looked expectantly from her mother to Carol and back again, waiting for somebody to spill the details.

“Ali, what do you think about that?” Tammye asked her daughter-in-law carefully. The brunette hadn’t said anything yet – not that she’d had a chance with Ashlyn’s immediate outburst. “Would that be ok with you?”

The idea of having houseguests for longer than 2-1/2 weeks was less than ideal but Ali would never admit it. Their families had been such a help to them over the years that she would never refuse any reasonable request if she could help it. Hell, she’d probably even say yes to an unreasonable request too. She felt like she was just about to.

“I think that’s a great idea” the brunette smiled sincerely. “The kids will love it.”

“Oh my God Tam, we totally messed this up” Carol chuckled and leaned into her wife who was looking back at her in confusion. “We’re going to try renting a house up in Rockport for the summer next year, if that’s ok with you guys.”

“Oh Lord” Tammye laughed out loud and pointed at Ali. “That explains a lot. You are a saint” she patted Ali’s arm and then looked seriously at Ashlyn. “And you are a lucky woman.” They all laughed, Ashlyn being the last one to understand what was so funny because she wouldn’t have minded having houseguests for the entire summer. “Oh, talk about burying the lead” Tammye laughed again.

“For the record” Ali sat up straighter and raised her voice above all the laughing. “I would love for you to stay all summer, even without the rental house. I’m just saying.”

“Oh we would never do that to you” Tammye gave her daughter-in-law a sincere smile. “I don’t care how much you love your family, that’s a loooooooong time for anyone.”

“Do you think your parents will mind?” Carol’s voice was more serious as she addressed her question to Ali after another minute of chuckling. “I don’t want them to feel like we’re invading their turf or anything. The last thing we want to do is upset any schedule or routine you all have going on up here.”

“Oh you’re sweet, but no, they won’t care. You know we’re a ‘the more the merrier’ kind of group. You don’t even have to ask that, honestly” the brunette assured them, truthfully.

“Well, we’ll keep you posted. And we’ll be back in a couple of weeks for the last recital and Josie’s birthday and the 4th of July” Tammye leaned back in her chair, relief washing over her face.

“Wow, now that you put it that way, it makes so much more sense for you to just spend the summers up here” Ashlyn added, her eyebrows up. “At least the first half of it anyway.”

“We’ve been envying Deb and Mike’s situation for a while now” Carol shrugged. “Maybe we’ll do something like that if this house rental thing works out. But we’ll talk to you first, before we make any decisions. Ok?”

“Caro” Ali shook her head, using the kids’ nickname for one of the kindest, most generous women any of them had ever known, “I can tell you right now, without any hesitation, that whatever you guys decide to do will be wonderful. We’ll all be thrilled to have you here as often as possible.”

“No doubt about it” Ashlyn agreed. “Best news ever!”

//

Turning 10 years old was a big deal in the Krieger household. Ali’s parents had made it a big deal when she and Kyle were growing up and the grown siblings planned to keep it that way with their own kids. When a Krieger kid hit the double digits they were endowed with extra privileges and rights as well as tasked with new responsibilities and chores. 10 years old was when you got your first allowance. You got a later bedtime. You got to redecorate your bedroom. And you got to enjoy more freedom and ‘big kid’ things. For example, as of May 27th, 2029 Drew was now able to stay up reading in bed until 9pm – a whole half hour later than the little kids. He didn’t have to take his shower at showertime – he could take it at any point during the evening as he saw fit. He earned more screen time on his kindle and video game system down in the basement. And he could wander off to the concession stand and snack bar by himself when they were all out together – as long as he let his moms know first. In addition to all of that freedom, he received a $5 allowance every Friday which was totally and exclusively at his parents’ discretion. They were not obligated to give it to him and he didn’t earn it by doing chores around the house. The chores were what allowed him to live in the house as a productive member of their family. All the kids knew that and they had all been doing various levels of age-appropriate chores since they were about 4-years old. It was one of the things Ali and Ashlyn were most proud of as parents and felt they had really gotten right. Now that he was 10, Drew was going to start mowing the lawn – the ultimate big kid chore, and he was pretty excited about it. He remembered, as did all the kids, when Justin Donaldson used to mow their lawn for them. He was the coolest big kid they ever knew and they still got excited when he ever came home to visit his parents next door.

Kyle Krieger had another surprise to commemorate his first nephew or niece to reach 10 years old. He hadn’t done this with Meg because he hadn’t met her right away and didn’t see her enough. They all regretted it, but it was what it was and they couldn’t go back in time to change it.

“Where’s the birthday boy?” Kyle’s exuberant voice filled the kitchen and most of the first floor of the big old house that Sunday morning of Memorial Day weekend. 

The house was full to the brim with Carol and Tammye up in Meg’s room for the tail end of their visit, and the NYC Kriegers and Peaches staying there too. Edgar and Cristina slept in the spare twin bed in Drew and Josie’s rooms as they usually did and Kyle and Nathan took the pull-out couch up in Ashlyn’s studio for the weekend. All the boys used the boys bathroom between Drew and Dodge’s room while all the girls used the girls bathroom in the second floor hall. It’s a good thing they were all close because there wasn’t a lot of privacy to be found anywhere that weekend. Both Kyle’s parents and Nathan’s parents, Bill and Iris, were hurt that nobody wanted to stay with them for the weekend, but it was hard to compete with the appeal of the big old house. It wasn’t so much the house as the cousins who lived there that were the major draw for Edgar and Cristina. As kids, it was ten times more fun to stay with Auntie Ashlyn and Auntie Ali than their grandparents because four other kids already lived there. There was always something fun to do and they had cool toys and games and art supplies and a dog and a beach they could walk to. As Edgar and Cristina got older, they were 9 and 7 that year, it was harder for Kyle and Nathan to force them to stay anywhere but with their cousins. And the two dads would have been happy to stay with the Kimballs or Kriegers in Ipswich or the Christophers in Manchester but they didn’t want to leave Ali and Ashlyn with 6 kids and 2 dogs to wrangle all weekend. So they all piled in and loved every minute of it. As hectic as it was, Ashlyn swore she never saw her wife happier than when she had her brother and his family staying with them. Ali and Kyle had a very special bond that was undeniable and kind of amazing and it gave Ashlyn a lot of pleasure to see them both so happy to be together.

“He’s sleeping” Ashlyn shook her head at her brother-in-law as she flipped some pancakes over in the frying pan on the stove. “It’s not even 7:30 yet.”

The family had all been to another Breakers game the night before and there had even been some fireworks above the stadium to celebrate the Memorial Day holiday. All 6 kids had stayed up later than usual and most of them were still asleep. Only Dodge and Cristina were up, sitting in the nook waiting patiently for their breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream smiley faces on top.

“Well, as soon as he’s awake we’re all doing something together in the front living room” Kyle pointed his finger playfully at Dodge and Cristina as he kissed them both good morning with loud, sloppy smooches.

“What’s happening now?” Ali smiled when she saw her brother with the kids. She hugged her keeper in front of the stove and kissed her cheek. “Hello wife” she patted Ashlyn’s butt and kissed her on the lips as soon as the blonde turned her head her way. “Mmmmm that’s better. Good morning” she hummed into the kiss.

“If you can keep your lips off your woman long enough, we’re going to gather in the front living room for a birthday boy celebration” Kyle teased as he moved back into the kitchen to greet Nathan who was just taking the leash off of Peaches after the morning walk. “Hi hon, how was she?”

Nathan and Kyle shared a quick kiss and the pharmacist pulled away when Kyle tried to deepen it and grab his husband’s ass more as a joke towards his sister than anything.

“Look who I found in the driveway” Nathan squeezed his husband’s arm as Deb walked in behind him, Persey at her heels wagging her body like she was a vibrating stuffed toy. “And she was good” he looked down at Peaches, “wasn’t she? Wasn’t she such a good girl on our walk?”

“That’s debatable boys, I’m sorry” Deb laughed as she hugged Nathan and then Kyle hello. “I followed them for the last couple of blocks and only Persey was walking correctly, not pulling on the leash” she shrugged her shoulders and made a pretend-sorry face.

“That’s because of the queen at the end other end of the leash” Ashlyn tried to praise her wife who had gone with Nathan that morning to walk the dogs to try and get them worn out before the long day full of people and birthday party excitement.

“Well if it’s about the queen at the other end of the leash then I’d better take her next time” Kyle joked and everybody laughed at his silly, flamboyant delivery.

Once everybody was awake and fed they all gathered in the front living room while Kyle stood in front of the tv, big grin on his face. He waited for Drew to join them, being the last one awake and the last one to finish eating and the last one into the room, and pulled the birthday boy to stand in front of him, his big hands on Drew’s shoulders. Drew looked a little uncomfortable with the extra attention but he was a good sport about it.

“This kid here” Kyle started but had to stop and clear his throat as his emotions rose up on him. “This kid here changed my life. Before he came along I didn’t know what it meant to be an uncle and I didn’t know how to handle a baby or even a sister who had just had a baby” he winked at Ali as everybody laughed. “But for the first time in my life I understood the whole kid thing because, for the first time in my life, I didn’t care if I got baby puke on my shirt...”

“Or in your hair” Ali teased him back, remembering the time Drew had thrown up so much that it ended up in his uncle’s precious hair.

“Right, well, it’s a good thing that was a once and done thing, let’s just say that” he quirked his eyebrow and then grinned again. “No, but really, Drew, I just want to tell you how much I love you” he turned his nephew around sideways so they could see each other and Drew smiled up at him as he blushed. “You stole my heart the first time I met you and, well, I’ve been lucky enough to watch you grow up into great big kid. 10 years old today. I can’t believe it” he shook his head wistfully. “Anyway, the first time I met you I started this and today I want to share it with you and with everybody. But mostly this is for you so you can see yourself the way the rest of us see you – as a good kid who’s smart and thoughtful and funny and kind...damn it, I was trying so hard to get through this without crying” Kyle squeezed his eyes shut to try and stop the tears. 

“Unky Kyle said a bad word” Lily announced and made everybody laugh which allowed Kyle to collect himself a bit.

“You’re right Lil, I’m sorry” the filmmaker nodded apologetically at the room before wrapping his discombobulated, but heartfelt, speech up. “Anyway, you’re an amazing young man and I’m so glad you’re my nephew and I just love you so much” he hugged Drew, picked him up and spun him around once. “And I made this for you. If you ever start to forget who you are or where you come from – you can always watch this.”

For ten years Kyle had taken photographs and filmed video footage of his nephew on his birthday. In the beginning he had made a special trip up on Drew’s actual birthday, even if his birthday party had been held on a different day – like on the closest Saturday or Sunday when most kid birthday parties were held. As the years went by and life got busier and Ali and Ashlyn kept having more kids, Kyle begrudgingly changed his film schedule so he only came up for the parties themselves. Either way, he had documented each and every birthday of Drew’s young life and edited the photos and interviews together into an hour-long short film that he debuted for Drew and his family that morning. It was incredibly moving and Ali cried through the entire thing. There were cute moments and sweet moments and poignant moments and playful moments and tearful moments and everything in between you can imagine in a child’s life. Sometimes Kyle would shoot Drew and the other kids without them knowing and he got some wonderfully candid conversations among the kids too. 

As they watched the video that morning, most of the kids got bored unless they were in some of the footage, but the adults all struggled to keep it together. Kyle grinned through the whole thing, unable to take his eyes off of the screen. The old Kyle would have been accused of being so narcissistic that he couldn’t look away from the video he had made – so egotistical and proud of his own work. But that wasn’t the case. The Kyle in 2029, a husband and father in his own right, had matured and grown up over the years. He watched the video that morning for about the 50th time after spending hours and hours putting it together and editing it, and he grinned shamelessly at it because of the love he felt for Drew and his sister’s family and his sister herself. He knew Drew would appreciate the video someday, probably a long time in the future. But he also knew his sister would love it immediately and forever. As is so often the case with the kids in your life, whether they’re your friends’ kids or your siblings’ kids, the time you spend and effort you make with them resonates a hundred times louder with your friend or your sibling than it does the kid. Kyle knew that by doing this for Drew he was also doing it for Ali and that made it all the more sweet for the auteur.

“Ky, I don’t even know what to say” Ali whispered as they hugged after the video finished and the group dispersed to get ready for the day. 

“What a wonderful gift honey” Deb came over and hugged them both, putting a kiss on each cheek as she squeezed them. “I’m so proud of both of you.”

“Her too?” Kyle teased as he pulled back from the hug. “I did all the work, what’d she do?”

“Well two things actually” Deb gave her son a look. “She carried him around for 9 months, breast fed him for a year after that and raised him up right, first of all. And second, she’s put up with you and your nonsense for her whole life” she laughed and gave them both another big hug. “Alright, I’ll leave you two alone. Don’t bawl all over each other all morning though – we’ve got a cake to decorate and a party to get ready for.”

“So, do you really like it? Like, don’t just say yes. I really want to know” he asked softly as they sat together on the couch with the two dogs close by.

“BB, there aren’t words to describe how much I love everything about that” she pointed at the now dark tv screen. “I know how much time you put into that and even then you probably spent a lot more that I don’t realize. How long did it take you to edit 10 years’ worth of footage down to an hour?”

“A long time, I won’t lie” he chuckled but his voice was quiet and emotional. “But I truly loved every minute of it. And I can’t wait to do the other kids too. It was the coolest thing looking back at everything” he shook his head in wonder. “How is he 10 years old already?”

“Oh God” Ali rolled her eyes and then dabbed at them as she chuckled. “Don’t ask me. I have no idea. He was a tiny baby and I blinked and here we are” she dropped her hands in her lap and shook her head. “This life is one crazy ride, isn’t it?”

“It sure is sis. But I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else, that’s for sure.”

The 6-year old birthdays that the twins celebrated two weeks before Drew’s that May came with their own list of new rules and expectations. Lily’s biggest one was that she could finally get her ears pierced. She had been asking to have it done for two whole years, ever since Josie had hers done right after her 6th birthday. And Dodge’s big win was being able to surf and snowboard and skateboard now that he was 6. Ali and Ashlyn had cheated a little bit and let him snowboard that January when they were up at Mt Washington. They had both learned from his skateboarding accident that their youngest son was capable of more things than any of his siblings had been so they allowed him to do some things a little sooner. Lily had no real interest in snowboarding yet so it hadn’t been a problem. 

And now that they were 6 they both had to do some of the chores that Josie and Drew had been doing, like setting the table and watering the plants. Josie moved up to taking out the trash and the recycling now that Drew was going to be taking over the lawn mowing. All four kids had to do their everyday chores, no matter what other chores they were assigned or asked to do. Every day they each had to make their bed, put their dirty clothes in the hamper in the bathroom, pick up their toys, and clear their own plates from the nook table to the kitchen sink. Josie and Drew might be asked to help load the dishwasher or vacuum up an occasional mess. Any of the four kids could be asked to sweep the kitchen floor or feed the dog or help with dinner. Both Ali and Ashlyn tried to be fair about it but more often than not they simply asked the kid who was closest to them to help with whatever needed doing. It wasn’t an exact science. Except for mowing the lawn which had to happen once a week and one of the moms had to be home for Drew to be allowed to do it. They didn’t love the idea of him trying to pour the gasoline into the lawn mower by himself so they insisted on doing that part still. And the trash and recycling had to be taken to the curb every Friday morning before school. 

As tempting as it was for Ali and Ashlyn to just do it all themselves, sometimes it took longer to explain what they wanted done, they knew they had to teach their kids how to do those things and how to be part of a team and a family unit.

“I can’t believe I’m watching my baby girl teach her baby boy how to mow the lawn” Deb sighed and smiled as she watched Ali and Drew through the kitchen window. 

Mother and son were both bent over the lawn mower in the driveway and Ali was pointing out the different parts of the machine, explaining what they did and what Drew needed to do to start the lawn mower’s engine. It was late afternoon on Memorial Day, the day after Drew’s birthday, and Ashlyn and the twins had just come back from taking Tammye and Carol to the airport.

“Me either” the keeper agreed as she stood next to her mother-in-law and gave her a side hug. “I don’t know how the hell it happened.”

“Well, you’d better get used to it” Deb chuckled. “It’s gonna happen a lot more and with more of the kids.”

Ashlyn groaned as Deb laughed and then they both held their breath as Dodge and Lily ran over to see what their Mommy and big brother were up to. Ali answered some of their questions but then stood up with her hands on her hips, looking towards the mudroom door.

“Babe, can you help me out here?” she called out with an amused shake of her head as the twins and Persey circled the lawn mower while Drew tried to shoo them away.

Ashlyn paused for just a moment, taking in the picture before going to corral Dodge, Lily and Persey. Ali had on what she so often wore when she was home and the weather was nice – a pair of athletic shorts, mid-thigh length, and a tank top with her bra straps showing at the top of her shoulders. She was usually barefoot but that day she wore an old pair of sneakers and low socks for the lawn mowing lesson. Her shoulder length hair was up in loose bun at the back of her head and there were stray wisps on both sides of her face from the breeze blowing them out of place. She wasn’t tan yet because summer hadn’t even started and they had only been to the beach once so far. The keeper thought this was the palest her wife would ever be while wearing summer clothes like that, and she admired her beautiful, creamy skin. It wouldn’t be long before she was tanned again as happened quickly every year with her almost-olive complexion. Ashlyn watched her beautiful brunette laugh at something one of the kids said and felt her heart flutter.

“Hello, are you going or do you want me to?” Deb broke the spell, wondering why the blonde was standing at the kitchen door not doing anything but smiling like a dope.

“No, I’ve got it, thanks Deb” the keeper smiled sheepishly at her mother-in-law and then walked out across the shallow kitchen porch to the driveway.

“Mama! Did you know that Mommy is teaching Drew to use the...the...lawn mower” Lily spoke the words carefully, smiling broadly when she succeeded.

“I did know that Lily girl” Ashlyn returned her smile and praised her as she approached the lawn mower and her wife. “Great job with the words honey.”

“So, how am I supposed to do this with these guys and gals out here?” Ali cocked her head and gave her wife one of her patented duck faces, still with her hands on her hips.

“I told them to stay inside” the keeper looked hard at both twins who giggled and kept running around the driveway feeling like they’d gotten away with something big. “But I didn’t actually lock them in the house. Hmmm...maybe that’s what I should do” she pretended to consider it seriously. “What do you think Drew?”

“Yes! I wanna do this” he complained. “I waited all day.”

“Yes you did” Ali nodded. “Do you think you can carry the gas can out here?”

“Yeah!” he shouted and ran into the open garage about 20 feet away.

“Carefully!” she called after him.

Ashlyn raised her eyebrows at her wife, knowing they had agreed only grown-ups would handle the gasoline.

“Breaking the rules already I see” she winked at the brunette and laughed. “Why am I surprised?”

“It’s not really breaking the rules, I’m just asking him to bring it out here. That’s it. And I wouldn’t have to find things for him to do if you had kept them inside like you were supposed to” Ali defended and attacked all in one lighthearted remark, finishing with a bright smile.

Ashlyn walked around the lawn mower and wrapped her wife up in a hug. Ali stood her ground and refused to return it, keeping her hands firmly on her own hips and resisting the pull of her keeper’s body. The blonde admired her wife’s restraint but pulled her hands off her hips one at a time and put them around her own back with a chuckle.

“You’re not helping here at all” the keeper giggled over Ali’s shoulder.

Finally the brunette hugged her back, unable to resist any longer. She got a good poke into Ashlyn’s side first though.

“Ow. Ok, I don’t care, it’s worth it” Ashlyn sighed into the contact. “Is your mom still watching from the kitchen window?”

Ali looked up at the house.

“Yep” she giggled and let herself melt into the hug, closing her eyes for a few seconds.

“You’re so beautiful baby” Ashlyn spoke softly into Ali’s ear and then pulled her own head back and kissed her wife deeply, surprising her. It only took a second for the brunette to return the passionate kiss.

“Ugh, gross” Drew commented as he put the red plastic gas container down with a loud thud on the driveway, causing the contents to slosh around inside it.

“Hey” Ashlyn turned to look over her shoulder at their son. “One day when you find the right person and fall madly in love you’ll understand. Until then, just keep your comments to yourself, wise guy.”

“What was that for?” Ali asked, breathlessly, as her wife turned back to her.

“Life is short and you look gorgeous and I love you.”


	7. The Newlywed Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as with a lot of the stuff in my story, some of the details and facts and info about the contestants in the Newlywed Game are real and accurate and others are made up. Some of the characters are real-life former athletes and others are a figment of my imagination. if you have specific questions I will always answer them.

Before all the birthdays and sober day and Mother’s Day and Memorial Day happened in May, the Engen Foundation hosted a fundraiser on Friday, May 4th. Whitney Engen Flanagan’s non-profit foundation was dedicated to helping people find quality legal representation or advice even, and especially, when they couldn’t afford it. It had been going well with Whitney splitting her time between her office at Knight-Harris by the Charles River and Longfellow Bridge in Cambridge, and the crowded open-desk area of the Engen Foundation a short walk North into the Kendall Square section of Cambridge. The Knight-Harris office was as close as you could get to the bustling, ‘brilliant but starving’ collegiate atmosphere of Kendall Square without actually being in it. Kendall Square was the techie section of Cambridge, but most of the people who lived there were students or just out of college and still working hard for their big break. It wasn’t Harvard Square or even Porter Square rich, but it was smarter and more stylish than Central Square. One thing was for sure and that was that Kendall Square had been the fastest growing Square in Cambridge for the past 15 years and it showed in the interesting proximity of old, rundown buildings that hadn’t been renovated yet and were havens for broke college students, and the sleek, new office buildings that housed some of the biggest health insurance and tech companies in the world. It was crazy but cool.

The Engen Foundation’s first official fundraiser event had received a surprising amount of press for what it had started out as – a small gathering of some local sports stars and a few retired athletes answering questions in a panel-style setting and then signing autographs afterwards. Fans and supporters had to ‘donate’ $20 to get in and the donation went directly to the Engen Foundation. As the list of athletes grew, the names on the list got more famous as well and before too long, the event had become a big deal that the city of Cambridge was actively advertising as broadly as possible. Whitney was still running the non-profit with two other lawyers, two paralegals, and an office manager but they were hoping to increase their staffing in the fourth quarter of 2029. That was all contingent on grants and donations and fundraisers like the one in early May. Whitney was a smart woman and she could feel the magic of social media taking the event and building it up without much assistance from anybody around it. Before long it was apparent that the panel format wasn’t going to work well and the lawyer huddled up with some of her key advisors and listened to what they had to say about maximizing the potential of the event and capitalizing on the groundswell of interest so they could transfer it into actual dollars and cents of support.

That was how the fundraiser lost some of the local charm of having only Boston sports folks but gained a whole lot of panache by getting commitments from some of the biggest and most talented athletes playing in the various leagues that day. The exciting twist that did indeed get everybody’s attention was the new format of the event. Instead of a boring old Q&A panel, the fundraiser was going to be a ‘Newlywed Game’ scenario and the famous athletes would be bringing their spouses with them to compete for an auditorium full of paying spectators, fans, and supporters. 

The young Swedish golf phenom that Ali had courted and landed 2 years earlier had been the first ‘non-Boston local’ star to sign on. Ugne Isaksson, 23 years old and coming off of her second full season on the LPGA tour where she was winning tournament after tournament, was the youngest participant but only by a couple of years. The NWHL’s latest and greatest superstar, Karine Adams – a 24-year old Canadian who married her high school sweetheart as soon as they both graduated college two years earlier, was only a year older than Ugne. And the third ‘baby wife’ as Ashlyn jokingly referred to the young married women in the event, was the best women’s professional softball player on the North American continent – Gigi Ybarra. Gigi was a 26-year old Mexican national but the formation of the North American Women’s Professional Softball League (NAWPSL) two years earlier had made it possible for all of North America to enjoy some of the most talented female athletes in the world. Women from Mexico, Canada and the USA played together in the 20-team league and had enjoyed tremendous popularity after several famous celebrities got on board through different ownership and sponsorship groups. 

It had become popular over the past 10 years or so to support a women’s pro team if you had the money to do so. Several high-profile, extremely wealthy, female celebrities had already become owners or part owners of NWSL teams and NWHL teams and the NAWPSL had been no different. Famous rich men did the same thing, adopting the slightly cringe-worthy excuse of wanting to do something to help their own daughters who might want to play pro sports when they grew up. It wasn’t the best argument anymore because it had been 10 years of that and the game and the fans and most of the country had moved past it. The right answer in 2029 for why somebody famous would buy a women’s pro team was because it was a profitable business venture. There was finally proof that putting quality talent and entertainment on the playing field would yield paying customers if the media actually participated in covering the games and leagues. Being a female pro athlete certainly still had its obstacles and would always be less lucrative and more difficult than being a male pro athlete, but it had come a long way and firms like Knight-Harris had been instrumental in that progress. There had never been a better time to be a woman playing sports than 2029. 

The final roster of couples who would be competing in the Newlywed Game fundraiser ran the gamut of sports and ages and lengths of marriages. One couple wasn’t even married yet but would be tying the knot later that year. Lady Gaga really wanted to participate but she was single at the time, again, so she settled for being the emcee of the event. That was a win for everybody concerned and they all knew it. In addition to Gaga, there were two other popular young women who were single but wanted to help out as much as they could. One was Vero Nixon, Gaga’s protégé and the recent model and spokesperson for Ashlyn’s hot new clothing line. The other was Keegan Jeffries, the young and talented tennis player that Whitney and Ali had brought to Knight-Harris two years earlier. She had only been 17 years old at the time but Keegan had already been interested in the newly formed Engen Foundation and Whitney had been the real reason the teenager joined K-H. The two young single ladies worked the room during the fundraiser and took donations and basically functioned as bookmakers while the game was going on. Vero took one half of the auditorium and Keegan the other and they made random bets with people in the audience about who was going to get the next answer correct or which duo would win the round. It was a little bit crazy but everybody knew it was for a good cause and didn’t mind if one of the teenagers forgot to pay them their winnings. It was worth it for the interaction and the selfie alone.

There were several other couples who had wanted to join in the fun, especially if it benefitted Whitney Engen Flanagan in any way, shape or form. Sammy Mewis and her husband Pat, Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird, and about a dozen other North Carolina Tarheel alumnae all sent their well-wishes and made donations because they couldn’t work the fundraiser into their busy schedules. Whitney was flattered and touched deeply by the outpouring of support she and her namesake foundation received in the build-up to the big event. It seemed that the lawyer really didn’t understand how far and wide her reach was felt throughout the communities she had called home over the years. Everybody who participated went out of their way to sing her praises as loudly as possible at every press opportunity they were given. It was a very special night and Whitney would feel reverberations of the love poured upon her for a long time afterwards.

The ten competing couples were, in order of length of marriage and therefore increased odds of winning more rounds:

Mia Hamm, 56 & Nomar Garciaparra, 55 – married 26 years  
Abby Wambach, 49 & Glennon Doyle, 53 – m. 12 years  
Ashlyn Harris, 43 & Ali Krieger, 44 – m. 11 years  
Julian Edelman, 43 & Adriana Lima, 48 – m. 8 years  
Sloane Stephens, 36 & Jozy Altidore, 40 – m. 6 years  
Tobin Heath, 41 & Christen Press, 40 – m. 4 years  
Gigi Ybarra, 26 & Oscar Alvarez, 25 – m. 4 years  
Karine Adams, 24 & Henry Nicholson, 24 – m. 2 years  
Ugne Isaksson, 23 & Alina Garry, 27 – m. 1 year  
Kamala Pierce, 29 & Trayvon Upshaw, 32 – engaged 1 year

The spouses were an impressive group all on their own. Nomar Garciaparra was a Hall of Fame MLB player and former Red Sox and still a hugely popular guy in the New England area. Glennon Doyle was a wildly popular writer, speaker, activist and motivator who almost everybody liked for one reason or another. Adriana Lima was a drop-dead gorgeous, internationally famous Brazilian model who had dated Julian Edelman off and on for years before they finally made it official. Jozy Altidore was a retired MLS and USMNT soccer star who had achieved more recognition over the last five years or so as the husband of one of the best women’s tennis players on the planet, despite his own fame. Christen Press and Tobin Heath were basically interchangeable in this fundraiser event. They both still had tons of fans who followed the goings-on of their small family with as much passion as they ever did when the talented soccer stars were playing the beautiful game for the USA. Trayvon Upshaw was a rich, famous, handsome film star who had been trying to get Kamala Pierce to marry him for the three years they had been dating. The WNBA superstar, and Boston hometown girl, just hadn’t been ready – until this year. When her season was over at the end of November they were going to get married once and for all and they both seemed over the moon about it. 

Alina Garry and Henry Nicholson were both professional athletes as well, but nowhere near the talent-level or fame as their spouses. Alina was a fellow LPGA golfer but one of the women who showed up, worked their asses off, played their hearts out and never really moved up very much in the rankings. Those players were the backbone of the league and most fans knew it, but they sure didn’t know those players’ names. Henry was in a similar position – grinding away in one of the minor hockey leagues for little money and even less notoriety. 

That left Ali Krieger and Oscar Alvarez to round out the spouses group. Oscar wasn’t famous and he wasn’t an athlete. He was an accountant who juggled his workload as much as he could to be with his wife as she travelled all over North America dazzling fans with her incredible softball skills. And Ali wasn’t really famous either, although everybody there certainly knew who she was and the many things she continued to do to improve female athletes’ lives every single day. She and Oscar were the two who had balked at being onstage with the other spouses and had to ultimately be talked into it by the rest of the group. 

“Al, listen, I get it” Whitney had sat in the chair on the other side of the brunette’s desk one afternoon in February. “I’d rather chop my arm off too than get up on that stage and do this” she shook her head and chuckled softly at the thought. “I’m with you 100% and I know you’re shy and you like to keep your private life as private as you can. But...”

“I know, I know” Ali sighed and leaned back in her leather desk chair with a resigned half-smile on her face. “All of the good things that come from being married to Ashlyn Harris are really good. And this...this is the stuff that comes with it too. I know I can’t just take advantage of the fame and celebrity status when it suits me. I’ve gotta suck it up and be the wife of the famous athlete, soccer expert, all-around wonderful human being for this stuff too” she looked up quickly at her friend, realizing how her words might have sounded. “Not that this isn’t worthy of it! I mean...Aw, hell Whit. You know what I mean” she looked sheepishly at her wife’s best friend who had indeed turned out to be one of the best friends Ali herself had ever known.

“I do know what you mean” Whitney laughed at the brunette’s discomfort. The fact that Ali Krieger had just sort of insulted her while talking about living life with Ashlyn Harris as her famous wife told Whitney exactly how uncomfortable the Newlywed Game was going to be for Ali. In case she hadn’t already figured it out – which she had. The original plan was for Ashlyn to be the emcee but now Lady Gaga wanted to take on that role and there was no way they were going to turn down her request. “Relax, I know you didn’t just mean to insult me, my foundation and everything I stand for...” she joked.

“Oh Jesus” Ali rolled her eyes and groaned playfully. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry” she chuckled, still looking sheepish.

“Besides, this way Gaga can be the emcee and...”

“It’ll draw a bigger crowd. I know” Ali nodded and smiled. “I get it. And I promise you, by May 4th I’ll be ok with going on a stage and answering all sorts of personal questions about my wife and our life together.” She sighed one last time but the smile remained on her face. “Lord help me.”

The Newlywed Game itself hadn’t changed much over the years. There were two parts. Part one was the basic off-stage, on-stage scenario. One half of each couple left the stage to answer 10 questions while the other half of each couple stayed onstage and answered a different set of 10 questions. Then, the couples were reunited onstage, sitting in pairs, and Lady Gaga asked the questions and one spouse tried to match the answer their other half had already given. Part two was a live-round where both members of the couple stayed seated onstage while 10 more live questions were asked and they wrote their answers down in real time with no advance warning on the questions. In both parts, they wrote their answers in black marker and big letters on large, white cards that they then held up and revealed to the audience and everybody else. Each team got points for correct matches and when all twenty questions were said and done, a winner was declared based on highest point total. Whitney was the judge for any close call or questionable match answers and she was pretty forgiving. She was so grateful that everybody had volunteered their time to the fundraiser that she gave a lot more thumbs ups than thumbs down that evening. Lady Gaga had a lot of fun with the questions and made sure each couple squirmed a bit every now and then. All in all it was a clean game meant for PG-rated audiences, but there were a few love and romance category questions included to spice it up a bit and push things into the R-rated world.

“Do I have to answer?” Ashlyn blushed during one of the Part One queries and gave Lady Gaga her best puppy dog eyes in an attempt to evade a question she knew was going to be embarrassing.

“You know you do Ashlyn my love” Gaga chuckled, enjoying the discomfort right along with the audience. “Just do it and get it over with so we can move on to the next one” she encouraged with another laugh as Ashlyn physically shifted in her seat and adjusted the collar of her stylish dress shirt that suddenly felt very tight around her neck.

“All-star, she calls me All-star” she wrote quickly on the card in front of her and held it up as everyone erupted in laughter. The nickname itself wasn’t as funny as the way the keeper delivered the answer and rolled her eyes and blushed like a schoolgirl.

“And Ali, do we have a match for ‘What is the nickname Ali calls Ashlyn in private?’” Gaga asked with a grin. 

“We sure do” Ali beamed as she turned around her card with the exact same response. The audience cheered and Ali reached over and patted her wife’s leg.

Most of the teams had been doing pretty well matching their answers but it wasn’t always easy and it wasn’t always pretty. At least half the teams had already broken down in absolute fits of laughter, complete with mascara running down cheeks and snorting. Gaga would ask the question and then each of the 10 couples would give their answers, one after the other until they had completed the question entirely. Then they would tally the score and start the next question. Gaga had done a wonderful job starting out with the easier, more basic questions in an attempt to keep the scores closer together as well as to keep the contestants calm and collected about trick questions or surprises that had been hinted at previously. They were all dreading the live round where Gaga would ask some questions that they hadn’t heard before and they both had to write down the answer at the exact same time and see if they got a live match or not.

Halfway through the event it was pretty obvious to everyone that the men in the group were not holding up their end of the competition. The lesbian couples, all four of them, were in the lead and it wasn’t close anymore. The only straight couple that was close to keeping up with them was Mia and Nomar and that was mostly because they had been married for so long that there wasn’t much about the other that they didn’t know. Of course being married for 26 years had its disadvantages too. It was difficult to remember all the way back to where they had their first kiss or what color their spouse had been wearing on their first date.

“Which bad habit of yours would your wife most like to break you of?” Gaga asked Ali on their next turn in Part One.

“Oooh, that’s a good one” the brunette thought hard as she held the black magic marker in her hand, ready to write. Ashlyn smirked next to her, thinking this was one of the easier questions they had encountered so far. “There are a couple, for sure, that I know drive her crazy” Ali giggled as she furrowed her brow and considered. “Which one did she write down though?...” she wondered aloud as she tapped the end of the marker against her chin. She wrote quickly and answered, “I’m gonna say overstuffing the trash can in the kitchen. She hates that.”

“No!” Ashlyn turned and looked at her wife in surprise. “Are you kidding me?” she laughed but she was really miffed that they got that one wrong.

“Ok Ashlyn, let’s see what your answer was” Gaga prodded her to turn her card over so they could all see what she had written earlier.

“Hanging your bras all over the bathroom and bedroom” she replied with an incredulous look towards her wife. 

“Ashlyn” Ali blushed and looked down, embarrassed, as she chuckled.

“So is this a permanent storage situation or...?” Gaga kept pushing while everyone laughed along with her.

“No, she hangs them up to dry and then doesn’t take them down” Ashlyn huffed and rolled her eyes again but there was a small smile on her face all the while. “For days. And days. And days...” she kept lowering her voice to more and more laughter until Ali finally reached over and pulled the card out of her hand with another embarrassed giggle, getting rid of the evidence.

“So it is kind of permanent then” Gaga nodded and winked at Ali. “Alrighty.”

“Can we move on, please?” Ali begged, her face bright red.

For the most part, Ali and Ashlyn matched many of their answers up. They nailed the easiest ones:  
1\. where was your first date? – the kitchen of the big old house  
2\. where was your first kiss? – the couch the day after the superbowl  
3\. who is the better cook? – Ali  
4\. phone sex or sexting? – sexting  
5\. what meal does Ali prepare that she thinks Ashlyn enjoys the most? – sautéed chicken and asparagus  
6\. which one of Ashlyn’s friends does Ali find most attractive? – one of the keeper’s high school friends, Tanya, that they sometimes saw when they visited Satellite Beach (Ali had always said Tanya was the second most stunning woman she had ever seen, after Ashlyn of course)  
7\. what was your best vacation together, just the two of you? – Germany (although Ali had almost gotten it wrong, writing down honeymoon in Hawaii first and then changing it at the last second)  
8\. what bill would Ashlyn most like to keep hidden from Ali? – the Off-White bill (one of her favorite clothing brands)  
9\. what is Ali’s favorite guilty pleasure (food and drink related)? – dark chocolate and red wine  
10\. what will your spouse say is the last thing the two of you argued about? – Ashlyn leaving her shoes everywhere

“I swear, I spend more time putting her shoes away than all the kids combined” Ali laughed and shook her head as her wife blushed and shrugged her shoulders.

The 4 questions they got wrong, including the ‘bad habit your spouse would like to break’ were:  
1\. what is the oddest location you ever shared a kiss? – Ash said the equipment shed up at the Academy and Ali said the bake sale in the basement of one of the churches in town  
2\. what is Ashlyn’s least-favorite chore? – Ashlyn said taking the trash out but Ali said picking up the dog poop because Ashlyn didn’t really do the trash much anymore because it was Drew’s and then Josie’s chore  
3\. who is the most intimidating member of Ashlyn’s family? – Ashlyn said her father just because he was always so quiet and it was hard to tell what he was thinking, but Ali said her brother Chris (neither of them said much when the brunette flipped her card over and Gaga picked up the ‘do not go there’ vibe from both contestants and moved right along to the next couple)  
4\. which bad habit of Ali’s would Ashlyn like to change? – Ali said overfilling the trash and Ashlyn said leaving her bras all over the place.

There were six questions that were more personal and that made all of the couples uncomfortable. Lady Gaga guided them through each one, whether it was in Part One or the live match Part Two, gently nudging them and playfully scolding them when they balked at answering them. One of them was the ‘All-star’ nickname question that had Ashlyn blushing. The others were:  
1\. what is a nickname Ali uses for Ashlyn in private? – they both said All-star  
2\. what is Ali wearing in Ashlyn’s favorite fantasy picture of her? – they both said red-string bikini  
3\. when was your last long, passionate kiss? – they both said last night  
4\. what would Ali say was Ashlyn’s best physical trait? – they both said her arms but the keeper almost said her breasts because she knew how much Ali loved them. At the last second Ashlyn changed her answer to her arms when she realized Ali would never share her breasts answer with the rest of the world.  
5\. where is Ashlyn’s favorite place on her body to be kissed? – they both said behind her ears because there was no way either of them was going to give the more accurate and more intimate answer of between her legs  
6\. what is a surefire way to get Ali in the mood? – they both said take her dancing

After all the matched answers had been tallied, with the live questions counting for 10 points each and the Part One questions counting for 5 points each, the winning couple was Mia Hamm and Nomar Garciaparra. The longest married couple among the contestants finished in first place with a grand total of 125 points. They missed 4 questions but only one of them had been worth 10 points. Whitney came out and presented them with a plaque that named them ‘Best Matching Couple’ and everybody cheered wildly as Mia and Nomar gamely held it up above their heads for a round of quick photos to commemorate the moment. The next four spots on the scoresheet were filled with the four lesbian couples who had continued to fare better than their straight counterparts as the 20 questions had progressed through the live round. Ashlyn and Ali finished in second place with 115 points, missing 3 of the 10 points answers and 1 of the 5 pointers. Tobin and Christen finished in third place with 95 points; Abby and Glennon finished in fourth place with 90 points; and Ugne and Alina came in fifth with 80 points. The bottom half of the leader board read like this:  
Gigi & Oscar – 75 pts  
Julian & Adriana – 70 pts  
Kamala & Trayvon – 65 pts  
Sloane & Jozy – 50 pts   
Karine & Henry – 40 pts

It wasn’t lost on anybody that the couples who had been married the shortest amount of time had performed worse. The biggest surprise was how well Kamala Pierce and her fiancé Trayvon had done because they weren’t even married yet. The more experienced couples encouraged the others and everybody made some good jokes and exchanged some funny and slightly off-color barbs at each other as the proceedings started to wind down. The audience began shouting out random questions and several of them made the contestants laugh out loud. Vero Nixon and Keegan Jeffries quickly moved to different people in the audience with their microphones so they could all participate in a brief question and answer period. Whitney gave Lady Gage a look that told the superstar to keep things under control and not embarrass any of the couples onstage. Gaga nodded and moderated the impromptu Q&A session. There were no lights in the audience except for the spotlight that had been woefully lagging behind the proceedings all evening long. It was just a tough task to try and find Vero or Keegan before they were done interviewing an audience member about the bet they had just placed, forget about having time to focus the spotlight and get it perfectly placed. The struggle continued during the Q&A session as Vero and Keegan moved among the audience members and let them pose their questions. Only two of the 15 audience members who stood and made their queries into the microphone were found by the spotlight at all. The other questions just floated to the stage out of the darkness and laughter.

“This question is for Jozy Altidore – do you really still not put the toilet seat down?”

“This one’s for Adriana Lima – how glad are you that you went for a younger man?”

“Kamala – do you still want to marry Trayvon?”

“Nomar – do you wish you never left the Red Sox?”

“Christen – will you and Tobin have more children or are two enough?”

The answers rolled out from the sports stars on the stage with a lot more laughter and a few poignant moments added in. One of the young men in the audience actually got on his knee and proposed marriage to Keegan Jeffries, making everybody gasp and Keegan take two steps back away from the man. He was completely harmless but one of the security team stepped between the hopeful man and Keegan to assess the situation. The man’s friends were laughing and teasing him and Keegan and the security guard realized there were no harmful intentions involved – only hopeful optimism. The superstar Tennis player politely and sweetly declined the invitation and moved back into the shadows with the security guard, just to be safe. Lady Gaga made a couple of jokes and threw it back to Vero Nixon for one final question from the audience.

“This is for Ashlyn and Ali” a timid voice sounded from the dark, clearing its throat and continuing. “What’s your favorite poem to read to each other in bed?”

Both Ali and Ashlyn’s eyes went wide at the oddly specific question. Lady Gaga tilted her head, trying to remember when the subject had come up during the night’s events while some of the other contestants commented about what a great question it was. Ashlyn squeezed her wife’s hand, wordlessly telling her she would handle this one and not to worry about it, and spoke after taking a minute to consider the answer.

“Ummm...” she smiled lovingly at her beautiful brunette and cocked her head as her dimple appeared. “I don’t think we have a favorite” she replied, not taking her eyes off of Ali’s warm cinnamon ones. “I mean we both have favorite poems but...” she paused, unsure how much to share. She could see how uncomfortable the brunette was with the question and decided to just be vague. “I’d have to say no, we don’t have one” she smiled as she turned to face the audience again.

“You dog you” Julian Edelman grinned at his old friend who he had more things in common with than uncommon things. “Holding out on me after all this time” he shook his head in mock disappointment.

“Yeah bro, for real, you could learn a few things” Ashlyn laughed back at him as the rest of the auditorium chuckled along with them. “Maybe next time you’ll get more than 70 lousy points” she smirked and taunted him. “Married 8 years and only 70 points” she shook her head and continued to tease. “Amateurs.”

The fundraiser was an incredible success and Whitney was overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity of her fellow human beings, both the sports celebrities and the various different donors. She was reminded of the earliest days of Knight-Harris when teenagers would donate the last $5 they had to help support their favorite NWSL players in whatever cause they were championing. Any big organization like the Engen Foundation or the Mental Health Initiative or even The Academy relied heavily on wealthy donors and benefactors who gave obscene amounts of money to charities and non-profit groups as part of their financial business plan. But every group that Ashlyn had ever had anything to do with, however tangentially, had always reaped the rewards of the small individual donations her die-hard fans made on a weekly basis. It was extraordinarily gratifying for Whitney to know that those folks were still out there, for one, but also to know that they were willing to help her Foundation out too. The lawyer knew a big reason was because she was Ashlyn’s best friend and that made her indescribably happy, on top of everything else good that came from the fundraising event.

It wasn’t until a few days later that Ali, Ashlyn and Whitney were sitting in Whitney’s office having lunch at Knight-Harris that the subject of some of the questions came up again. The lawyer had just received the new donation amount and wanted to take Ashlyn and Ali out to lunch to celebrate but they were working on a deadline that day so they had to settle, at least temporarily, for take-out while they hashed out the final offer for a new WNBA player before training camp opened up the following week. The three friends laughed and joked about how poorly most of the straight couples had done with Whitney finally putting an end to her defensive rebuttals of her own kind’s poor showing by reminding the lesbian runners up who had won the damned game in the first place. 

“A straight couple” the lawyer lifted her eyebrows as she said it, daring either of them to challenge her. “So I think the debate ends right there.”

“Yeah, fine whatever” Ashlyn rolled her eyes as she talked and took another big bite of cheeseburger. “But the lady lovers took the next four spots, so, whatever you need to cling to Whit” she shrugged and spoke with her mouth full, making her best friend laugh and her wife roll her eyes and chuckle.

“See” Ali deadpanned as she pointed at Ashlyn and her awful table manners. “Look what you’re missing.” Whitney laughed out loud and Ashlyn moaned at the friendly fire attack. “No. No” Ali continued in a flat, dull, teasing monotone. “You can’t have her. She’s all mine.”

The conversation gradually turned to how interesting it had been to hear some of the answers and how challenging it had been to get so many of them right. Ashlyn told Whitney that she and Ryan wouldn’t have done as well as she and Ali had done and the two besties carried on for several minutes before they realized that Ali hadn’t participated much. Whitney cleared her throat after sharing an anxious look with Ashlyn who nodded at her encouragingly.

“Hey, so Ali, listen, I’m really sorry about the question about the intimidating family member” the lawyer dropped her eyes for a few seconds before looking up again to see the brunette staring at her curiously. “I should have caught that one. I just wasn’t thinking. I’m really sorry.”

“Whit, don’t be silly” Ali gave her a half-smile because it was the best she could do. “I’m glad we didn’t have to go into any details about it...”

“That’s because your face told the whole world there would be no further discussion on that subject” Ashlyn chuckled softly.

The keeper had already spoken with both Whitney and Ali, separately, about the question and she had finally agreed to let Whitney apologize to her wife even though she didn’t really think it was necessary.

“Well yours wasn’t much better” Whitney shot the keeper a stern look.

“It just surprised me” Ali shrugged. “Not the question as much as the answer I guess” she pensively chewed her lip as she thought back to being onstage four nights ago. “I mean, when I heard the question my answer was immediate and overwhelming and I couldn’t talk myself out of it. I had no idea who you would put down” she glanced at Ashlyn. “So I just went with it.”

“So are you still afraid of Chris?” the lawyer broached the subject she was so nervous about and glanced again quickly at the keeper.

“It’s hard to describe” Ali replied slowly and evenly as she tried to find a way to explain the complicated feelings she had for Christopher Ryan Harris those days. “It’s not like I’m afraid of being alone with him or of leaving the kids with him or anything like that...but I can’t forget what he did and how easily he did it” she looked down and fiddled with the napkin in her lap, unable to look at her wife for the moment. “And every once in a while it comes back to me, not in a flashback or anything” she turned her head to look at Ashlyn. “I’m not saying it’s anything like your PTSD babe” she reached over and rubbed her keeper’s forearm. “It just surprises me sometimes, when it comes up – like the Newlywed Game is a perfect example. Your answer makes total sense” she nodded at Ashlyn. “Or your Aunt Marie maybe...I don’t know” she chuckled softly again. “But I couldn’t get my brain to think of anything except Chris.”

“It’s ok baby” Ashlyn held her hand across the corner of Whitney’s desk where they were sitting and eating. The keeper gave Ali a sincere, loving look and was pleased to see her lips turn up in a small smile of her own. “It sucked to get the answer wrong” Ashlyn rolled her eyes playfully at her wife, “but I suppose I can forgive you.” 

They all laughed for a minute and then Ali turned and gave Whitney a hard look.

“The question you need to be sorry for is the ‘which one of Ashlyn’s friends do I think is attractive one’” she quirked her eyebrow at the lawyer.

“Are you kidding me?" Whitney said as her jaw dropped while Ashlyn groaned and threw her head back dramatically. “Don’t tell me she started up with the long blonde hair thing again? Because of Tanya?”

“She did” Ali nodded at the lawyer while Ashlyn busied herself with her lunch again, hoping to escape the conversation by simply not participating in it. “Twice a day, every day, starting Friday night when we finally got home.”

“I can’t believe she still asks you if you want her to grow her hair out again” Whitney chuckled and looked at her blushing best friend who had another mouth full of food. 

“It’s usually not a big deal but as soon as that question came up...” the brunette shook her head and sighed.

“And you got it right, didn’t you? I mean, you both said Tanya...”

“You’re damn right we got it right” Ashlyn announced loudly after she swallowed. “And excuse me for wondering if my wife might like me to do something different with my hair” she made an offended face at both women before continuing, voice rising with emotion and embarrassment. “Some people might think it’s considerate or even sweet...”

“Or borderline obsessive” Whitney said under her breath but knew they could both hear her.

Tanya was a high school classmate of Ashlyn’s who looked an awful lot like the keeper had looked when Ali first met and fell for her back in 2015. She wasn’t quite as tall as Ashlyn and certainly not as muscular or toned, but she had bigger breasts and a prettier, more petite face with long, stylish fingernails and a penchant for wearing tight dresses and high-heeled shoes. Ashlyn was a gorgeous woman and she had the most beautiful face in the world as far as Ali was concerned. There was nothing close to a competition and everybody in their inner circle knew it. Tanya was like a more feminine, almost barbie doll style version of Ashlyn and her long blonde hair always looked gorgeous and effortless and perfect. It looked like she had just come off the beach but without any of the realities of spending a day on the beach like sand or knots or tangles. Neither Ali nor Ashlyn could remember how the subject had originally come up but it was a pretty good bet that it involved some alcohol. Somehow Ali had admitted that she found Tanya attractive, but only during some drinking game or under some sort of duress from Ashlyn or Chris or Ashlyn’s friend Liz. They had pressed her to name somebody else in Satellite Beach that was good-looking enough to be on tv or something silly like that. Ever since the keeper cut her hair off in the Fall of 2021, she would go through occasional bouts of insecurity about it. She knew Ali loved her short hair because the brunette couldn’t hide, and never tried to hide, how much she loved it. But part of Ashlyn sometimes doubted whether her wife loved it as much as she had loved her long blonde hair. The fact that Ali found Tanya attractive, when pushed into it during some drinking game or challenge, only made those doubtful days harder for the keeper. Of course Ali must have liked Tanya and it was because of her gorgeous long, blonde hair. The couple had fought about it a few times but it had gradually evolved into something they were both fine with. Mattie had used the issue, once it was finally brought to her attention a few years back, as a teaching moment about perspective.

“Ashlyn I understand where your feelings of doubt and insecurity might be coming from, but I have to tell you that I think they’re unfounded in this case” the therapist explained during a solo session with the keeper three years ago.

“You do?”

“I do.”

“So I’m not supposed to be insecure when Ali tells me she’s attracted to another woman...a woman who has hair just like mine used to be...?”

“No and I can see that you’ve already worked yourself up about this” she quirked her eyebrow at Ashlyn and shook her head, knowing she was going to have to do some of the work for the keeper that session. “You’re creating this problem in your head based on things you think Ali is thinking and feeling and wanting.”

“But she told me she thinks she’s the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen.”

“No, she told you that she’s the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen, after you” Mattie corrected.

“That’s what I said.”

“No it’s not. You’re leaving things out and adding things in to suit your own narrative in your own mind.”

Ashlyn had to think for a few minutes. Mattie had worked with both Ali and Ashlyn on this issue during one of their couples counseling sessions after the Kriegers had spent an evening with Tanya and some other friends in Florida during one of their visits. Mattie knew, from hearing Ali’s own words, that Ashlyn wasn’t remembering this correctly.

“You’re right” Ashlyn sighed heavily and scrubbed her face with both hands as she sat on the couch across from the therapist. “She did say after me. She always makes sure to say that.”

“Good. I’m glad you remember that” she smiled warmly at the blonde before continuing. “What else is important about that statement – that Ali finds Tanya attractive?”

“Umm...that we were drinking and...” she paused trying to bring back the details of the solution they had worked out before, during couples counseling. “Oh, yeah, that Liz asked her a specific question” she nodded, remembering. “Ali didn’t just bring it up. We were goofing around, drinking, and Liz asked her to name one person she found attractive in Satellite Beach.”

“Very good Ashlyn” Mattie smiled again.

They spoke for another several minutes about why the keeper still sometimes felt insecure about her short hair style, the issue of Drew not being comfortable bringing her to the mother/son dance at school, and a couple of other things that contributed to Ashlyn’s self-doubt that cropped up and became troublesome for her occasionally. After they talked through it all and the keeper felt better about handling it and keeping it sorted out and rational instead of letting her emotions run away with the details on her, Mattie summed it up with one last observation.

“What I would choose to focus on, if I were you, is that the one and only person that Ali found attractive looks just like you” she smiled at Ashlyn again, glad to see the happiness in her face again after some tough talking that hour. “That would bring me enormous comfort and reassurance, not that any is required because Ali has told you herself, in her own words, that this is a non-issue for her” she carefully reminded. “But in those times when you start to feel your doubts creeping in a bit, I suggest trying to remember that. The second most beautiful woman she’s ever seen looks just like you.”

“Alright! I get it!” Ashlyn boomed, frustrated in Whitney’s office with the two people she was closest too ganging up on her.

“Hey,” Ali’s soft hand closed around Ashlyn’s hand, still on the desk, and her soft voice soothed the keeper’s frayed nerves. “It’s ok Ash. We’re just joking, but we’ll stop. I’m sorry. It’s ok.”

They were all quiet for a couple of minutes, each woman breathing and thinking and chewing. Whitney wondered if she had picked off the scab of an old wound between the two women and silently chided herself for teasing the keeper about something that was obviously bothering her.

“I’m sorry for yelling Whit” Ashlyn looked apologetically at her best friend. “And I’m sorry for being so weird and needy about my fucking hair” she rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly.

“Why don’t you just grow it out again then, if you want to?” the lawyer proposed earnestly, wanting to help. “You can always cut it off again if you don’t like it.”

“Hey,” Ali’s voice pulled the keeper’s attention to her again as she squeezed Ashlyn’s hand hard. “I love your hair. I loved it long and I love it short and I’d love it if you went bald tomorrow” she spoke seriously and stared intently into her wife’s anxious hazel eyes. “Ask me a thousand times and I’ll tell you the same damned thing because it’s the truth.”

Ashlyn knew it was the truth. She had known it back in Mattie’s office when they first tackled the issue several years ago. She knew it each of the times in the past four days that she had asked the brunette. She knew it right in that moment in Whitney’s office too. She could see in Ali’s eyes that it was truer than ever and she felt silly and small for ever doubting it. They shared that intense moment and then the keeper smiled shyly and squeezed her wife’s hand back, rubbing her thumb across the back of it. The brief but intimate moment didn’t faze Whitney. She had dropped her eyes to the contract she had been reviewing before their conversation had detoured and she just waited for one of them to speak when they were ready. 

“So is Keegan ok after her brush with the creepy proposal?” Ashlyn asked with a chuckle.

“God, that was almost sweet, except that he was a total stranger!” Whitney grimaced at the memory.

“At least he wasn’t some old guy” Ashlyn chuckled. “I mean, it was creepy, but he was young and kind of good-looking, right?” she looked from Whitney to Ali for some back-up.

“The security expert said he was harmless” the brunette explained. “It was very spur of the moment and seems to have been motivated by the fun of the game” she shrugged. “So it could definitely have been worse, for sure.”

“I don’t get the whole stalking thing” Whitney shook her head. “Like, those girls who used to show up on your front porch. What is the point of that? How much time and energy did they have to spend trying to figure out your address from the tiny clips of a hundred different videos and pictures?”

“Three times. It’s happened three times in almost 15 years...” the keeper corrected and sighed. “It’s not an epidemic. And those girls were just lonely or confused. They just wanted someone to see them or hear them – recognize them for who they were and what they were trying to become.”

Ali smiled as she listened to her sweet wife defending the three teenage girls who had invaded their privacy and appeared on the front porch, the side porch by the kitchen, and the short mudroom step, in that order. It was another issue that they fought about, but Ashlyn had come around to see her wife’s more conservative point of view over the years. As sympathetic as the keeper was to the plight of the teens, nothing would ever be allowed to compromise or threaten the safety of her kids. That had been a line crossed three too many times for Ashlyn and she had posted blunt, stern, unflinchingly harsh social media posts decrying the invasion of privacy and threatening to cease all social media for the rest of her life if it happened again. Ali didn’t want to revisit that argument with her wife, even though the keeper had come to agree with her on the issue, so she tried to change the subject.

“What was with that last question though?” she frowned at the memory. “It was so weird. How did they know we even did that?”

“Did what?” Whitney tried to remember what the last question at the fundraiser Q&A had been. “Oh, yeah, the poetry thing. That was weird” she agreed. “Did you guys talk about it in some of your other answers?”

“Nope. Not once” Ashlyn replied definitively, her conviction getting Ali’s attention and admiration. “I went back over all of our questions and answers...”

“You did?”  
“Really?”  
Both Ali and Whitney asked at the same time.

“Well, yeah” the keeper shrugged. “I could tell it really bothered you” she looked at her wife. “And then I got curious.”

“Well what the hell then?” Ali frowned. “Now it’s really bothering me.”

“Maybe he or she just assumed you guys read poetry to each other in bed” Whitney offered but realized how ridiculous that sounded with each word that left her mouth. “Was it a he or a she?”

“Sounded like a woman to me but it was hard to hear.”

“It was definitely a woman’s voice” Ali lifted her water bottle for a drink, sitting back in her chair and trying to fight off the uneasy feeling that had crowded into her mind. “Maybe you posted about it or something?” she looked at Ashlyn for confirmation but got nothing but a shake of her head and a shrug as the keeper spoke.

“No way. I know better. And I value my life.”

 

**********

The tv in the dark basement bedroom was playing recorded footage of the big Engen Foundation fundraiser. The journal opened and the pen went back to the page...

5-4-29  
Oh my fucking God. What a rush!! I did it. I went to the fundraiser and holy shit, what an amazing feeling to be breathing the same air as her. I can’t even describe it really. It was exciting and beautiful and scary and then a little sad for a while – but fuck that. I’m not living in the past. I don’t care what Dr. Fuckwad says. He’s wrong. Dumbass. And thank you Janice for paying for my ticket. Ha ha she didn’t even blink an eye when I told her it was for a photography class in Cambridge. Edward even told me he was proud of me for putting myself out there more. Idiot.  
Ashlyn and Ali almost won the game too. Lol. Some of the questions were dumb but others were pretty interesting. Like the last time they shared a passionate kiss was last night! I’ll just bet. Mmmmm. I’d love to see them kiss. There aren’t any pictures of them that I’ve found anyway. Except that one at Pride a while back, like 5 or 6 years ago I think. There was the official pic of Ali kissing Ashlyn’s cheek with all their Pride rainbow stuff on. But the video of them making out in the background of some dumb bar trick or something during the Pride parade is the winner. For sure. Ashlyn’s grabbing Ali’s ass and she’s got on these incredible black short shorts... That’s a hot one. Damn... just thinking about it makes me wet. Fuck yeah. I’m gonna look that one up when I’m done writing. Oh yeah.   
So where was I?? Oh yeah, the questions from the Newlywed game. The weirdest place they’ve kissed is either in a church bake sale or at some Academy somewhere – I’ve gotta get that figured out. I don’t know what the hell that is. I made notes in my phone when I could but the lady sitting next to me kept staring at me when I did it. Fucking bitch. Middle-aged dyke still dreaming of being with Ashlyn or Abby or Tobin or Christen or who the hell knows what other hot, jock lesbian. Pathetic. Like she stands a chance with any of them. Stupid cow.   
When I got back to the car I wrote down all the questions and their answers as best as I could remember. Ali calls her All-star! Lol. And Ash fantasizes about her in a red bikini. I’d love to know the story behind that or see a picture. God I’d love to see that picture.  
On my way to the fundraiser I stopped down in Kendall Square to check out the K-H offices. It stands for Knight-Harris and I just thought for sure it would have been Krieger-Harris. Don’t know who fucked that up. The building’s down close to the river. Sort of below Kendall Square. There’s a bus stop with one of those covered benches right across the street so I sat there for a while and just watched people come and go. I could see through the front windows cuz it’s more like retail shops with all glass than an office building – at least that’s how it is on the first floor. I didn’t see anybody I recognized but it was just my first time.  
Oh my God!!! I almost forgot to write this down!!! I’m such an idiot. I get so distracted by, just EVERYTHING I saw and heard tonight! But I actually asked a question tonight at the fundraiser! Vero Nixon – who is so much prettier in person than she is on tv. And she smelled really good too. Anyway, she came over to my section with the microphone and I just raised my hand up and she came over. It wasn’t right away, but it finally happened. I asked Ali and Ashlyn what their favorite poetry was to read in bed. !! I still can’t believe I did that! God what a thrill!! Ali looked kind of weird when I asked it but only people who know her probably would have noticed. Ash answered it but basically just said they don’t have a favorite without going into any kind of detail. Kind of a copout if you ask me. But what do I know?

So things I want to do next:  
-keep visiting K-H  
-figure out what the Academy is and where it is.  
-start going to the Breakers games (Ashlyn is at every home game and Ali comes with the kids a lot too). If I become a season ticket holder I get invited to team social events and player meet and greets and things like that. I might join the supporters group too but I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself either.  
-Find out where their house is and drive by it (where do the kids go to daycare?)

Damn, there’s so much to do! It feels really good to get up in the morning and have some goals in mind. I think this is going to be great for me. I feel lighter and more focused already. I’m glad I’m not taking those pills anymore.


	8. Locker Rooms & Godmothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning

It was mid-June and Ashlyn was attending, and co-headlining with the newest Breakers star, a charity auction and fan interaction event at the NE Revs and Boston Breakers Stadium in Boston. The timing wasn’t perfect because only half of the schools in the area were out for the summer, with the other half still in session for another week. But it was still well-attended and turned out to be a lucrative fundraiser for the charity groups involved. The Krieger kids would be getting out of school the next day, Wednesday June 20th and they would all be celebrating Josie’s 8th birthday with a party on Saturday the 23rd. Ali loved these mid-week, mid-day events because she could go and attend them without worrying about the kids. She was able to focus on her wife, and only client, instead and it felt like the ultimate luxury on those rare occasions when it happened. Ashlyn appreciated them too and had plans to take full advantage of this one. 

“So when we’re done here we just have to stop back at the office for a few minutes and then we can head home” Ali was checking her phone in the Breakers locker room after the event, reading text messages from her mother and from Marcy at the office and from Sydney. “Mom is picking the kids up from school and Dad and Vicki will be at the house when they get home so they can go to the beach if Josie wants...”

“Yeah, but she’s not gonna want that” Ashlyn frowned as she waved goodbye to the last staffer and zipped up her messenger bag on the table in the middle of the large room.

The locker room was the same as it had been eight years ago when the keeper had used it as a member of the team. There was an open area just inside the door that took up roughly half the depth of the room – this is where the table was that Ashlyn was standing next to. Then there was a row of lockers that ran horizontally across the space and cut the room in half. There were individual lockers along both sides of the whole room, the two closest to the door on each side left empty for random first aid kits, pre-wrap, bottles of water and Gatorade and other necessities that were used too commonly to ever stay in their real location in the trainer’s room. There were also lockers along the back wall that faced the horizontal row of lockers in the middle of the room that acted like a wall between the two spaces. Ali was sitting at one of the lockers on the left side of the room. At the back of the room were two doors, one in each corner, that led to the showers and bathroom. There was music coming from the speakers throughout the ceiling of the room and Ashlyn picked up the remote on the table and changed it from loud pump-up music to more melodic tunes with slower beats. It was 1:30pm Tuesday afternoon and the Breakers were travelling to a match in New York City Friday night. The team and all of the staff and trainers had just left after lunch for the bus ride – needing to arrive a day earlier than usual for an NWSL sponsored photo shoot and publicity event in the big apple. The fans that were lingering in the stadium were up in the main concourse, about to be ushered out in the most courteous of ways. The Revs were working out in the gym or with the trainers in their locker room area on the other side of the showers next to the ladies locker room, getting ready for their match this weekend.

“I know, but it’s her birthday and she might feel like going for a swim” Ali shrugged, eyes still on her phone. “She never wants to go to the beach with us on a regular day but...” she shrugged again and then interrupted that thought with a new one. “Oooh, Syd and the boys are coming too” she nodded and smiled. “Awesome.”

“I thought we were just doing casual birthday dinner and cake tonight?” Ashlyn asked as she walked to the locker room door and locked it.

“We are, but it’s her birthday. Tomorrow’s only a half-day and their last day so it won’t matter if anybody’s tired, and she really wanted James to be there tonight” Ali looked up when she heard the loud click of the lock. “What are you up to?” she pursed her lips and squinted at her wife as the blonde smirked and began walking her way.

“Nothing” Ashlyn tried not to smile so big but her dimple betrayed her as she stood in front of the brunette in the fifth locker down the left side of the room.

Ali craned her neck around to see who else was in the room because the last time she had checked there were 3 staffers and two other players milling around before their bus trip. Ashlyn deftly slid the phone out of her wife’s hands, turned off the sound, and dropped it into her purse next to the locker she was sitting in front of.

“Hey, I wasn’t done...”

“Baby, come dance with me” the keeper took her wife’s hand and gently tugged her to her feet. She admired the brunette in her sleek pant suit that fit her so nicely and somehow looked all-business but sexy at the same time. It was a feminine cut, deep blue suit with a pale pink and light blue pinstriped blouse underneath, with a loose, billowy bow at the neck. The matching suit coat was draped neatly over one of the chairs at the table next to her briefcase and Ashlyn’s messenger bag. The keeper led Ali to the open area next to the table and pulled her in close, making them both smile. “See? This isn’t so bad, is it?”

“I always love dancing with you, but you’re making me nervous with that look” Ali quirked her eyebrow at her wife as they danced close together but with their heads just far enough apart so they could see each other.

“What look?” Ashlyn feigned innocence and grinned widely.

“That look” Ali pointed her keeper’s chest with her finger and giggled. “That look always means trouble.”

“No it doesn’t” she shook her head and lowered her voice. “Not always.”

“Yes it does” Ali chuckled and rolled her eyes but didn’t fight the dancing or the closeness or the look. She closed her eyes and leaned forward to kiss Ashlyn’s lips softly. 

“Yeah, but it’s good trouble, right?” she smiled and kissed Ali back, pulling her in closer as they swayed to the music and moved slowly together.

“You were great today” the brunette mumbled into her wife’s lips before pulling back just a bit. “I love watching you with the fans. They walk away knowing that you really care about them and that you don’t see this as just some requirement or obligation. It’s special – the bond you have with them.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have anything without them” Ashlyn shrugged and let her hands start to wander around the brunette’s back and sides. “It’s kind of a two-way street, you know?”

“I wouldn’t go that far babe, but I know what you mean” Ali reached her arms up around Ashlyn’s neck and gently clasped her hands together there, letting her fingertips graze the short hair. “They’ve always loved you but I think a lot of that is because they can tell you love them back. They’re not dumb. They know when somebody’s phoning it in.”

They danced together for three songs, Ashlyn guiding them back behind the horizontal row of lockers little by little. Her hands had gotten more adventurous along the way and Ali had let hers explore as well. It was a sweet, romantic interlude in an otherwise typically busy day for the couple. The day was nice because they had driven in to the city together that morning and would be driving home together as well, and that was always a rare treat. Somehow, even after 13 years, the traffic never felt as bad when they were together – talking and sharing and dreaming and planning.

“I can’t believe our little one is 8 years old today” Ashlyn whispered and then smiled, her cheek up against Ali’s cheek as they kept dancing and moving. “How the hell did that happen?”

“It feels like she’s turning 15” Ali giggled. “She’s so grown up in so many ways already. We have to make sure we slow her down a little bit, without holding her back though.”

“I know. I always thought it was stupid when people would say ‘she’s 13 going on 30’ or whatever” Ashlyn rolled her eyes and chuckled. “But I kind of get it now. They’re so little but so old at the same time! I don’t know how my heart is gonna take the next 10 years Al.”

“Aw, you’ll be ok honey” Ali pulled back and kissed her wife’s lips again, cupping her cheek with one hand and meeting her beautiful hazel eyes. “We’ll do it together. I’ll hold you together when you fall apart and then you do the same for me when it’s my turn. Deal?”

“Deal” Ashlyn’s face melted into a puddle of love and adoration and appreciation as Ali kissed her lips again, grinning into them at the sweetness of it all.

They danced a little bit more, Ali in her stocking feet after kicking off her modest pumps. Their kisses became longer and more intense as they let their bodies move together and complete a dance all their own that they had been choreographing for over a decade. Gradually things heated up even more after one too many thumbs grazing along the side of a breast or teeth tugging on an earlobe or a bottom lip or a jawline. They were both hot and bothered after 20 minutes and Ashlyn pressed her wife against a closed locker and pushed her thigh into her crotch – leaving no doubt about what her plans were.

“Ash, we can’t” Ali exhaled and tried to regain her composure. It was hard to resist the blonde with her dark jeans, stylish boots, and form-fitting t-shirt. It was one of her new designs, and Ali knew she had worn it because it was Josie’s favorite. It was Ashlyn’s own small way of honoring her birthday girl daughter that day. Ali would never understand how those sweet, tender things worked so quickly in her system to raise her libido up to full attention. It never seemed to matter who Ashlyn was being sweet to or considerate of or thoughtful about – it turned Ali on. It always had and it probably always would. “Babe...” the brunette moaned and weakly tried to push her wife back.

“Yes we can...there’s nobody here, I locked the door...”

“But what about Frank?” Ali asked, referring to the security guard in charge of the event that day, who would be wondering where they were.

“I told him I needed some extra time in here afterwards, that we were working on a surprise for Josie’s birthday” she wagged her eyebrows playfully and then brought their lips together in the deepest kiss so far.

As had happened so often in the past, any resistance Ali had prepared to mount faded away beneath her wife’s touches and kisses. Ashlyn and her sweet words and her soft lips and her tender touches would always win that battle and the brunette wasn’t even sure it bothered her anymore. As she tried to object one last time she felt her gorgeous keeper’s mouth move down her neck and her right hand find the wave tattoo on her sweet spot by her left hip and that was all she wrote. She was putty in Ashlyn’s capable, eager hands.

“Ashlyn...” she breathed out with her eyes closed and her head tilted to the side to give her keeper more room to work on her neck.

“I love you baby...” Ashlyn murmured against the soft skin near her pulse point... “so fucking much.”

Ashlyn pulled her wife’s blouse up at her waist, untucking it from the suit pants, and worked her hand underneath the silky material. She felt the warmth of her wife’s bare skin and lightly circled the wave tattoo with her right thumb. She held Ali while the brunette trembled at the touch and then marveled at the goosebumps that she could feel all over her wife’s stomach. Ali moved her hands down to her keeper’s hips and pulled their bodies closer and closer together as she started to grind down on Ashlyn’s thigh. She was just about to let herself go and get lost in the moment when a single, terrifying thought put a halt to everything.

“Wait!” she forced her eyes open and pushed Ashlyn’s shoulder back with one strong hand until their eyes met. “Cameras...are there cameras in here?” she gasped out, praying that the answer was no.

“What?” Ashlyn frowned in confusion as she tried to get her brain to think about what her wife had just asked her. It took a few seconds and the keeper actually shook her head to try and get some clarity. “No, no cameras allowed in the locker room. Not ever.”

“Are you sure” Ali heard the words come out of her mouth but didn’t really care about the answer. She trusted her keeper. She trusted Ashlyn ten times more than she ever thought she could trust anybody. If she said there was no camera then there was no camera.

“I promise baby. We’re safe here. You’re safe here with me...”

“Ok...” Ali sighed into the next slow, deep kiss and was quickly lost again in the sensual dance their bodies were enjoying.

Much the same way Ali got turned on by Ashlyn’s sweetness to those that she loved, the keeper always felt a jolt of pure desire whenever her beautiful brunette showed her how much she trusted her. It was difficult for Ali to let go of the control for many reasons, most of which involved the fact that she had to be in control in so many other areas of their lives. So when she did give up control and throw caution to the wind, Ashlyn appreciated it all the more. Ali’s trusting her about the cameras and letting her talk them into more semi-public sex that afternoon in the locker room sent the keeper almost into a frenzy of desire. She was perilously close to the point where she froze up for a minute or two as she struggled to process all the powerful emotions she was feeling. But not quite. Ashlyn let her tongue duel with Ali’s as their mouths wrestled together, licking and sucking and exploring and loving. She brought her hands to Ali’s chest and started unbuttoning the delicate blouse while she enjoyed the feel of the brunette’s strong hands on her ass and lower back. They worked quickly, removing clothes from the other as efficiently as possible without breaking their lips away from each other. Finally, both frustrated with stubborn bows and out of reach pants, they pulled away breathlessly. Ali locked her eyes on the blonde and watched Ashlyn rip her t-shirt over her head, unhook and wiggle out of her bra, and then bend over, lowering her jeans and boxer briefs in one swift motion. She stood up, naked and grinning, and then cocked her head at her beautiful brunette.

“What are you waiting for?” Ashlyn leaned forward and finished taking Ali’s pants and panties off for her, leaving them in a pile on the floor next to her own. She was about to complain again at her wife’s inactivity but when she looked up from her kneeling position she saw Ali untying the bow of the blouse and letting the garment drop to the floor behind her, followed quickly by her bra. “That’s better baby” she grabbed Ali’s ass with both hands and began kissing up the outside of her thigh, still on her knees. “Mmmm, so much better. Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

Even though they were both more than a little lost in the moment, there were sounds from the rest of the building that reminded them that they were still, in fact, in a public place. Both women made their own decision to speed things along and Ashlyn buried her face between her wife’s legs as Ali tugged on her own nipples with one hand and applied pressure to the back of her keeper’s head with the other. Ashlyn felt the brunette’s leg twitch as she devoured her eager pussy, and moaned loudly into her core.

“Shit, yeah baby...mmmmmmm...taste so good...” the keeper said between hard sucks and strong thrusts with her tongue.

She was about to bring her fingers to Ali’s clit but the brunette had other ideas. They were soon both on their feet, completely naked, grinding on each other’s thighs and desperately making out. Ali turned them so Ashlyn’s back was up against the closed locker, surprising the blonde and making her want her even more. Ali was close and they both knew it. Ashlyn’s tongue had been so good working through her soaked folds that the brunette wouldn’t need much more action to reach her release. It was time to get Ashlyn caught up.

“You wanna fuck me in this locker room huh?” Ali husked out, her voice low and filled with want as she straddled her wife’s strong right thigh. “How long has this been one of your fantasies?” she asked hotly, her mouth right next to Ashlyn’s ear, warm breath tickling the sensitive skin there.

“Yeah baby...fuck yeah” Ashlyn fondled one of the brunette’s breasts with one hand and moved her other hand between her own legs. “I used to dream about this...fuck...” she closed her eyes and swallowed hard when she felt how wet she was.

“That pussy’s mine” Ali’s eyes flashed as she knocked her wife’s hand out of the way.

Ashlyn lowered her body about six inches and bent both of her knees just a bit for some leverage. She was standing with her legs out to the side at 45 degree angles, leaving room on her right leg for Ali to continue her hard-core grinding on her thigh. She kept one hand on Ali’s breasts, teasing them and pinching the nipples to keep them stiff and hard. Her other hand pulled Ali in for a hard kiss and they knocked teeth and kept on going. Ali used her left hand on Ashlyn’s body, groping and tugging and touching her abs and breasts and side before settling for palming and then tugging her erect nipple for a few minutes. The brunette worked her right hand down her wife’s body, making a straight line through her short hairs and down past her swollen clit. Ashlyn gasped when she felt the brunette enter her throbbing core with two fingers, firm and fast, as they began thrusting into her wet pussy.

“Jesus, yes...oh God that feels good” she moaned out when they broke the heated kiss for air.

“Is this where we did it in your dream? Is this how we fucked?” Ali asked, her voice low and the words coming out in bursts between big gulps of air.

“No, no” she shook her head and tried to focus her eyes on the sexy brunette in front of her but the way Ali was sloshing around on her thigh, so wet and so ready...was completely distracting her. “But this is so much better...mmmmmmm...unnnnhhh...yeah baby...”

Ali leaned forward and kissed her wife hard again, both of them moaning into each other’s mouths and slurping as they sucked and licked and probed. She couldn’t believe how good Ashlyn’s leg felt as she rubbed her sensitive clit and slippery entrance up and back, grinding down as hard as she could for friction. She knew her orgasm wasn’t far away and she wanted to get Ashlyn off first. They continued their hungry kiss and Ali pumped her fingers harder and faster into her wife’s pulsing core. She felt Ashlyn shudder and could tell she was getting close now too. Ali alternated between the blonde’s nipples, pinching one and then tugging on the other in a way she knew drove her wife wild. 

“Rub your clit” the brunette instructed, her voice hoarse with lust. 

She moved her mouth over to Ashlyn’s neck where she sucked hard. Hard enough to drive her wild but not so hard as to leave a hickey. Ali let her tongue slide up to the soft, sweet skin behind her keeper’s ear and felt another shudder rack her wife’s body. She wondered for a few seconds if she should get off of her leg but got too distracted to do anything about it. Her arm pumped in and out and made the most delicious sloshing sound, making it hard for her to think about anything at all except how much she wanted to taste Ashlyn’s sweet passion. 

“Oh God...unnnnnhhhh...fuck, that’s good...” Ashlyn groaned loudly at the increased thrusting and the fingers of her own left hand on her clit. “Don’t stop baby, please...don’t stop...”

Ali felt her wife’s body getting ready to explode. Her leg twitched and her breathing got even more ragged as she made her climb. The brunette nipped at the sensitive skin behind her wife’s ear and Ashlyn immediately grabbed Ali’s ass with her right hand, gripping it so tightly that the brunette hissed from the contact.

“I won’t ever stop” Ali grunted out. “Never...” she licked the outside of Ashlyn’s ear and then sucked hard on her earlobe, panting every few seconds. 

They were both so close to their orgasms and they knew it. Ashlyn tried to think, for a brief second, about what she could do to help Ali get off but there was no need. Before she could even formulate an idea she felt the brunette move her hand from Ashlyn’s breasts down to her own clit and begin rubbing it fast and hard. She kept grinding on Ashlyn’s thigh and pumping into her pussy with her right hand, while her left hand brought her rapidly towards her own release.

“Christ...that’s...hot...” Ashlyn groaned out between grunts and pants as she rubbed her own clit at the same time.

“Oh my God, you’re so fucking sexy” Ali gasped as she tried to breathe and keep working at all the different pleasurable sensations she had going on. 

They locked eyes as their bodies took the final step to the peak and then, after the briefest pause, they both fell over into ecstasy...together.

“Aliiiiiii!!!!” Ashlyn groaned.  
“Oh my God...yeeeeeesssssss!!!” Ali yelled as quietly as she could.

Their bodies convulsed and shook as they both came hard. Ashlyn’s leg finally gave out after supporting herself and Ali’s industrious grinding for so long, and she started sliding to the floor where they both ended up in a heap. Ali had wrapped her tired arms around her wife as soon as her orgasm began and they twitched and thrashed around in each other’s arms on their way to the floor. Ashlyn pulled her wife onto her lap once they were firmly planted on the ground and they kissed and chuckled and tried to catch their breath. She knew she would feel the strain in her leg for a few days, but it had been more than worth it. They started kissing again, greedily looking for more, but when they heard Frank’s voice outside the door a few moments later they knew it was time to get going. Ali waited for her wife to answer the security guard but when Ashlyn remained quiet with her eyes down, the brunette called out to him instead.

“Almost finished Frank!”

“Alright then” came the slightly muffled reply.

Ali was about to tease her wife for getting so quiet so suddenly when she felt Ashlyn’s whole body start to shake again.

“Hey, honey, what’s the matter?” she lifted the blonde’s chin up so she could see her face and was surprised to see tears falling down her beautiful cheeks. “Ashlyn, baby, what is it?” she cooed as she cupped her face with both hands and gently wiped her tears away.

Ashlyn took a couple halting breaths and held her wife in place when Ali tried to get off of her lap so she could breathe better.

“No, stay” she asked in a sweet, tiny voice.

“I won’t go anywhere, love” she kissed Ashlyn’s forehead and let her lips linger there for a minute. “Can I do anything?” she kissed one of Ashlyn’s closed eyelids and then the other.

“No” the keeper shook her head and sniffled. “Not really.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ali kissed her wife’s nose and then both cheeks, softly and slowly and sweetly, noticing how the keeper was calming down and her breathing was nearly back to normal.

“No” Ashlyn shook her head as much as she could with Ali still holding it in her hands. “I love you. I’m sorry I’m such a mess” she chuckled and dropped her eyes.

“Hey, look at me sweetheart” Ali waited until the keeper met her eyes. “I’m kind of glad you’re crying, as long as you’re ok...”

“I am” she nodded and smiled bashfully.

“Then I’m glad you’re crying because I hate being the only one who does that” she rolled her eyes playfully and then giggled when she felt Ashlyn’s hands squeeze her hips and then pat her ass.

They were quiet for another long couple of minutes, hugging and holding each other, and Ali was just about to say it was time to go before Frank came knocking again. But as she opened her mouth to speak she heard Ashlyn’s small voice from on top of her shoulder.

“Sometimes...this day...” she started but couldn’t keep going without crying again and she knew there wasn’t time for that.

“I think about it sometimes too” Ali waited for her to finish but then spoke when it was clear that Ashlyn couldn’t. “Usually it makes me happy to think about how great she’s doing now and what a tough kid she is” she smiled as she thought of little Josie. “But every once in a while I think about...losing her” she swallowed hard and felt Ashlyn hold her even tighter. “And then I’m overwhelmed with gratitude that she’s still here.”

They hugged for another long minute and then Ali sat back, kissed her wife’s lips sweetly and started to reach for their clothes so they could get dressed. Ashlyn sniffled again and took a few deep breaths, wiping her tears away with her own fingers.

“I know what you mean about Josie” Ashlyn finally spoke, her voice still raw from crying. She squeezed Ali’s bare thigh as the brunette put her bra on, still on her wife’s lap. “I do the same thing” she nodded thoughtfully and helped Ali into her blouse, turning the sleeve rightside out for her as she tried to find the right words to describe what she was feeling. “But this day...it’s the day you...almost died...” she fought off another wave of tears as Ali focused intently on her with a surprised look on her face.

“Oh honey, oh my God, I never even thought about that...” she partially lied. 

Ali had thought about almost dying a lot and it still molded and shaped many of the decisions she made in her every day life. But she had never thought about how hard June 19th must be for her sweet, tender-hearted wife because of it. They had talked about almost losing Josie a few times, on this day, just as they had done that afternoon in the locker room. But it had been many years since they had talked about Ali almost dying on June 19th too.

“I don’t like to bring it up in case...in case you don’t want to talk about it” she dropped her eyes again and took another deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry” Ali shook her head and smiled at her wife. “I don’t like to think about it very much” she shrugged, “but I’m fine talking about it with you, whenever you need to. That’s the truth babe.”

Ali placed a gentle kiss to her keeper’s quivering lips and smiled softly at her. Ashlyn rubbed her wife’s thighs and returned the smile, tentatively at first.

“I can’t believe I ruined our afternoon delight like this” she shook her head and chuckled, resting the back of her head against the locker behind her.

“And apparently” Ali quirked her eyebrow, “one of your secret fantasies...”

“Ugh, don’t remind me!” Ashlyn moaned and covered her own face with both hands. “I’ve been dreaming about this forever!”

“Well, I thought it was pretty hot” Ali shifted her still-wet center around on Ashlyn’s warm skin and winked at her when she dropped her hands from her face.

“It was totally fucking hot” the keeper grinned and put her hands on Ali’s hips again. “Right up until I brought up almost losing you and our daughter on this day 8 years ago.”

“Here’s a piece of advice for you” Ali gave her wife a serious stare as she continued moving her hips in a figure eight pattern. “Stop bringing up something you don’t want to think about right now.”

Ashlyn couldn’t believe that Ali seemed to be giving her the green light for round two, especially since she was already half-dressed again. The keeper wondered if she was still too emotional to read the signs correctly.

“Ummm...are you...gonna let me...?” she asked, awkward pauses between her words as she focused on her wife’s sexy hips and smooth soft skin on top of her.

“Ashlyn, the lesson I learned on this day 8 years ago and am reminded of every 365 days, is that life is short and we need to make the most of every minute we have together. That means time with the kids but it also means our time together, like this, just the two of us.” The keeper’s eyes rose up and met the whiskey-colored ones she loved so much, darker and more serious than they usually were when the two of them were enjoying sexy times together. “I can’t think of a better thing to do right now than to redo your locker room fantasy” she leaned in and kissed Ashlyn’s lips slowly and seductively. “But if you don’t want to then...”

“No, no” Ashlyn’s eyes flashed brightly as she grabbed two big handfuls of Ali’s ass cheeks and squeezed appreciatively. “I want to. I absolutely want to” she rolled them over so Ali was flat on her back on the carpeted floor and stared intently down into those eyes again. “I love you so much. So much more than I can ever tell you” she shook her head slowly and fought off the emotions that threatened to hit her again. “Thank you for fighting so hard and living” she swallowed and matched the smile on her beautiful brunette’s face as she looked back up at her with eyes full of tenderness and love. Ashlyn leaned down and kissed her soundly, making sure they both felt the emotion behind it. When they came up for air she smirked down at her wife. “And thank you for letting me have more fantasy sex” she wagged her eyebrows and ran a hand down Ali’s side, making her shiver in anticipation.

“My pleasure” Ali winked and flirted as she put her hands to work on her keeper’s body again. “But you’d better hurry up, I’m not talking to Frank again” she giggled while Ashlyn groaned.

//

It was a busy rest of the week for the Kriegers. And that was coming off of a busy weekend already where they finally got Lily’s ears pierced and attended Emma Donaldson’s high school graduation. The day after Josie’s actual birthday, and Ali and Ashlyn’s locker room dalliance, was the last day of school and the two moms both took the afternoon off so they could take the kids and do something fun to celebrate. Deciding what to do got more difficult every year but they pushed through it, knowing that they had a finite time where the kids would want to celebrate with them on the last day of school. It was already happening with Drew as he finished 4th grade. He wasn’t as interested in the family gathering events anymore, preferring to spend time with his friends either in person or online playing a video game. The compromise this year was to go back to the big fancy arcade and spend the afternoon playing every kind of game together and eating all sorts of terrible things. Drew and Dodge both had stomach aches before bed but only Dodge threw up in the middle of the night.

“Well, we kind of asked for this didn’t we?” Ashlyn sighed as she attempted to clean up the vomit from the boys bathroom floor at 2am.

“Yeah we did” Ali grumbled as she flushed the toilet clean and grimaced at the smell still coming from the mess on the floor. “At least he made it to the bathroom. I consider that a win” she chuckled and yawned, happy they wouldn’t have to clean the rug in Dodge’s bedroom the next day. 

“I still think it’s cool that we celebrate the last day of school though” the keeper commented as she gingerly pushed a huge wad of paper towels towards the small pile of puke just inside the bathroom door. “I would have loved that when I was their age.”

“Me too” Ali yawned again and then frowned as she watched her wife. “Seriously honey? You’re just pushing it around” she shook her head in frustration.   
Ali had already wiped up the trail from the pile to the toilet and cleaned the toilet where Dodge had hurled a second time. Normally the brunette found it amusing that big, tough Ashlyn Harris was a complete wimp when it came to needles, blood and vomit. But at 2am it was just pissing her off. 

“I’m trying...”

“Move” Ali commanded and pointed towards the other door of the bathroom, the closed one to Drew’s room.

“I’m sorry” Ashlyn whined, hating the fact that she really sucked at these things. When the kids were in diapers she was always able to make it up to Ali by changing extra diapers and wiping extra dirty bums. But now that they were all expertly potty trained and didn’t need help with the toilet anymore, she hadn’t found a way to restore the balance. “I hate that I can’t do this stuff.”

“Not as much as I do” Ali complained as she knelt down and started cleaning up the puke. 

Once the actual vomit was up off the floor, Ashlyn was able to mop it and do the final clean-up. And she did, happy to finally be able to help. They were both back in bed by 3am, tired and cranky in general.

“Thanks for doing all the heavy lifting baby” Ashlyn rolled over and kissed Ali’s cheek before lying flat on her back and letting out a loud, tired sigh. “I love you.”

She didn’t think it would happen, but she was happy when the brunette rolled over and curled into her side, throwing her leg over Ashlyn’s hips and snuggling in tight.

“Yeah, well you’re lucky you have skills in other areas, All-star” she squeezed her keeper and kissed her shoulder. “Love you too.”

//

Taking 18 little kids to the movie theater was a tough job no matter how good your parenting skills were and both Ashlyn and Ali had to give themselves timeouts at different points during Josie’s birthday ‘movie theater party’. Since school was already out Josie didn’t have to invite everybody from her class if she didn’t want to, but she did anyway because she didn’t want anybody to feel left out. It was the first weekend of summer vacation so many kids couldn’t make it, but there were 7 that could. The other 10 kids that made up the party were from the four families and other family friends, and Josie made 18. Kyle and Nathan brought Edgar and Cristina and Peaches up a week early for their 4th of July vacation, taking the week before the 4th instead of the week after the 4th as the second week this year. Edgar was 9-1/2 years old and he didn’t want to go to the latest Princess movie so he stayed behind and went to the beach instead with Drew, Cassius Dwyer and Evan Cross. Noah Cross, the oldest of the four-family kids after Meg, had other plans for the weekend and wasn’t there at all but they were all getting used to the fact that the good old days when all of the four-family kids attended every social gathering were behind them. 

The plan for the party was for the kids to meet at the big old house for lunch and cake and presents and then go to the 3:30pm movie as one big, happy group. Some of the family friends would only come to the party at the house and not go to the movie, like Kristie Mewis and her little 2-1/2 year old daughter Ellie. Nobody planned it to happen the way it did, but somehow it was mostly the girls who went to the movie and the boys stayed behind and went to the beach. There were exceptions, of course, as both James and Maddox Dwyer and Dodge Krieger attended the movie with the girls. The grown-ups divided themselves similarly with Ryan Flanagan, Ken Krieger, Nathan Kimball, Mike Christopher and Koty Wild remaining at the house to take the kids to the beach and watch the younger kids who weren’t old enough to do either on their own – like Tommy Flanagan. Josie’s one big request, besides the movie party, was that both her moms go with her to the movie. So Ali, Ashlyn, Sydney, Whitney and Deb Christopher went to the movies. There were exceptions to this division as well, just like the kids. Kyle Krieger was going to the princess movie and there was nothing anybody could do to stop him. Both Molly and Niki Cross opted to stay at the house as did Vicki Krieger and Brianna Wild. Ali and Sydney’s friend Erica brought her 7-year old daughter Maisy. Sarah, Ali’s ex, and her wife Erin brought their 5-1/2 year old daughter Daphne to both the house and the movie. The Revs were away for a game and Dom was travelling with them so neither he nor Tanner Wild were at the party.

The party at the house went without a major hitch because almost everybody had been there before and sort of knew the drill. Even Josie’s classmates who had been there less frequently than the other kids felt comfortable and had fun playing in the backyard and stuffing their faces with more cake and ice cream than pizza and chicken tenders. There were 8 chaperones for the 18 kids at the movies and everybody felt like that was a good ratio. Honestly, they all thought it was overkill but the moms and friends knew they’d have a good time whether they watched the movie with the kids or did lobby and bathroom duty instead. It was both the slowest 2 hours of their lives and also the fastest because one of the kids always seemed to need something so there was never just a quiet moment. Thankfully the movie was really good and held the kids’ attention right up through the end, even the youngest of them like 4-1/2 year old Becca Flanagan who sat on Ali’s lap in the theater because she was too little to hold down her own seat without it folding up on her. 

Ashlyn and Whitney found themselves in the lobby at one point after taking various kids to the bathroom and helping them spend the $10 they had been given as a party gift on snacks from the concession stand. They were sitting at one of the three tiny café style tables near the candy counter in an otherwise very quiet lobby.

“What’s with you?” Whitney laughed at the frazzled look on her best friend’s face as Ashlyn walked back over to her after escorting Maddox Dwyer back into the theater and to his mother.

“Ugh, I don’t get why kids are always crawling around on the dirtiest floors!” she whisper-yelled with a look of complete disgust on her face. “Why?! Why would you get on your belly and crawl underneath the bathroom stalls? Why?!”

Whitney laughed loudly at the slight OCD tendencies that Ashlyn had always displayed.

“Drives you crazy, huh?” she chuckled and elbowed the keeper.

“I just don’t understand” she shook her head. “You’ve seen those floors. Even the cleanest ones are still disgusting” she shook her head again. “God that’s so gross.”

“So wasting money on candy and crap they don’t need and probably won’t even eat, taking them to public restrooms with disgusting floors...”

“Why are they always so sticky?!” Ashlyn interrupted with wide eyes, making Whitney laugh again.

“Bringing the kids to the movie theater is right at the very top of your list of favorite things to do, right?” she laughed out loud, grinning from ear to ear at her bestie’s obvious discomfort.

“Did I ever tell you about the first time I tried to take Drew and Josie to the movies by myself?”

“Lord, no” Whitney rolled her eyes and giggled. “This oughta be good.”

“They were 5 and 3 and it was wintertime so we had coats and hats and mittens...”

“Perfect scenario” the lawyer nodded along knowingly.

“I had my arms full of their coats and crap and bought tickets and they wanted snacks and stuff.”

“Of course” Whitney nodded again with a smile on her face. “And who are you to deny them?”

“So they each get a drink and we order some popcorn and some m&ms and I think some sour patch kids or something like that – something I knew they wouldn’t like but couldn’t talk them out of” Ashlyn rolled her eyes at the memory. “And they want me to carry it all for them!”

“Which, of course, you do...”

“Well, I tried but then I couldn’t get the door to the theater open and Drew wasn’t strong enough so we had to wait for someone to come along and open it for us” she groaned and then chuckled. “And then I dropped Josie’s soda just as we got to our seats and I was so mad by then that I snapped at Drew and told him to sit in his seat and be a big boy and hold his own crap while I tried to calm Josie down.”

“Oh my God” Whitney giggled at the image in her head. “And the floor was sticky from the drink...”

“I swear to God Whit, if I could have just walked away by myself for 15 minutes I would have fucking done it. But there were other people there...”

“Witnesses, you mean.”

“So I get Josie to stop whining about her drink by agreeing to go get her a new one. I get her situated but she’s too damned tiny to hold down the seat by herself. The thing folded up on her every fucking time and I had to stuff all three of our coats into it so she could sit on top of them like that. But, after all that, she doesn’t want me to leave her. And I can’t blame her – she was 3!” the keeper paused and took a deep breath. “So she’s going to come with me and I’m going to leave Drew by himself but he doesn’t like that idea either. So now I’m bringing them both back out to the lobby with me but I made them leave all of their stuff in the seats. I figured if someone was going to steal it then fuck it, I’d deal with it later.”

“So did you actually watch the movie?”

“I’m getting there, shut up” Ashlyn poked her friend and continued. “When we’re in the lobby I ask them if they need to pee and they both say no. So after we get Josie’s new drink and another bag of popcorn – for me, Drew decides he has to pee. So into the bathroom we go, all three of us into the ladies room with Drew pitching a fit because he wants to use the men’s room. He was just starting to figure out privacy and things like that but there was no way I was letting him go into the men’s room alone” she shook her head. “Not gonna happen.” 

“Wait, so you went into the bathroom with your popcorn?” Whitney clarified because she had spent years teasing the keeper about her distaste for doing just that. Even if it was just a drink, Ashlyn hated to bring it into the bathroom with her.

“So I stand Josie right outside the stall door” she continues without answering the lawyer’s teasing question, giving her a stern glare instead, “and go in with him and make sure he’s good to go and before I can get back out the stall door she’s crawling on her stomach underneath the other three stalls! I couldn’t fucking believe it. It was the happiest she’d been since we got there and I wanted to stuff her into the trash can and leave.”

“I can’t believe Ali let you take them both to the movies without a little prep work.”

“I’m sure she warned me but I probably didn’t listen” Ashlyn sighed and chuckled. “I thought I was getting the better end of the deal taking the two big kids to the movies while she stayed home with the 1-year old twins. Boy was I wrong.”

Whitney laughed so loud at this point that the lobby attendant gave the two friends a dirty look.

“You big dope” she smacked the keeper’s arm as she giggled some more. “The twins probably took a nap while you were gone and Ali got some nice quiet time.”

“That’s exactly what happened. Lesson learned” Ashlyn giggled along with Whitney. “I can’t believe my little girl is 8 years old already” she sighed and smiled.

Just as they were enjoying the sweet moment, Dodge came bursting through the door to the theater and looked all around the lobby before running towards the bathroom at top speed, both hands at his crotch.

“I told him to go before the movie started” Ashlyn grumbled as she started to get up from the table.

“I got this one” Whitney grabbed her forearm, stopping her, and then trotted across the lobby towards the bathroom. “That’s what Godmothers are for, right?” 

When the movie was over and everybody had been picked up from the big old house by their parents, and the four-families and other friends had headed back home after a casual backyard bbq dinner, Sydney and Ali decided that the Dwyers were spending the night. It was getting late and the idea of wrangling all three cranky boys by herself that night didn’t appeal to the coach at all. Her mother was away for the weekend with her on-again, off-again boyfriend. Kyle, Nathan, Edgar, Cristina and Peaches were already visiting and staying at the big old house, but Ali would always make room for Sydney. It went without question and both besties knew it. Kyle and Nathan were out enjoying a date night and Edgar was already asleep in the spare bed in Drew’s room, with Cristina taking the spare bed in Josie’s room. Ali’s solution for the night was to have Kyle and Nathan sleep on the pull-out couch in the studio and give Meg’s room, aka the guest room, to the Dwyers. Between Meg’s queen-size double bed and the pull-out couch at the other end of the room there was more than enough space for the three boys and their mama. 

“Don’t stay up too late now ladies” Ashlyn teased the two best friends as she got up to let Persey and Peaches out and go up to bed. The next day was the first day of The Academy and she wanted to be well-rested and ready for what was sure to be another busy day. “I won’t be here to bail your asses out tomorrow if you’re hungover and in pain.”

“Oh hush you” Ali laughed at her wife and smacked her hip as she walked by the couch in the front living room towards the mudroom. “I’ll be up soon. I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah me too honey” Sydney joked. “Leave some room in the bed for me.”

Ashlyn hadn’t been gone for more than half an hour when Josie came walking into the front living room from the front stairs. It was 10:30pm and she was rubbing her eyes and wearing her new pajamas with the sparkly rainbows and silver shooting stars on them. Ali and Sydney had just settled in with refilled wine glasses, ready to unwind and catch up, and Ali sighed at the interruption.

“What’s up little one?” she reached her arms out, ready to welcome Josie into them, but the birthday girl veered off to Sydney’s empty lap at the last second.

The coach stuck her tongue out at the brunette, teasing her, as Josie burrowed into her chest, oblivious to the interaction.

“Why is my birthday girl, beautiful goddaughter, brave and sparkly princess out of bed?” Sydney asked as she kissed the girl’s head.

Any jealousy Ali might have felt at Josie choosing Sydney over her washed away as soon as the coach turned her attention back to the girl. Ali had always thought that the universe had gotten it so wrong by not giving Sydney a daughter to raise. She was a wonderful mother and had her hands more than full with her three boys, but the brunette knew Sydney would have been excellent with a little girl. Ali was so grateful that her daughters had their Aunt Syd to look up to and emulate as they grew and blossomed into their own young selves. It gave her great satisfaction to see the close bond that Sydney and Josie shared already.

“My belly hurts” Josie pouted, sticking her bottom lip out and whining.

“Well what did you think was going to happen when you put all of the junk into it that you did today?” Sydney poked her in the arm, avoiding her usual poking spot in her side just in case there was something really wrong with her stomach.

“I didn’t eat junk.”

“Oh, ok so I must have been watching some other beautiful redhead birthday girl stuff her face with popcorn and ice cream and junior mints and...” she looked at Ali for help.

“twizzlers and birthday cake and more ice cream...” the brunette added to the list without skipping a beat.

“Oooh and those s’mores tonight after dinner” Sydney’s eyes went wide, remembering how delicious they had been. “Those were the best.”

“But I ate my dinner” the girl whined again, trying to prove that she hadn’t eaten just junk all day.

“You only had a few bites of your cheeseburger honey” Ali reached over and rubbed her back. “Are you hungry? Does your belly feel empty or too full?”

“Maybe” Josie shrugged.

“Well which is it” Sydney chuckled.

“I don’t know” she shrugged again and giggled quietly into Sydney’s chest.

“Do you need to poop? Have you tooted in a while?” the coach continued, trying to get to the bottom of the problem. She put her hand on Josie’s forehead in one of the age-old instinctive mother moves that seemed to be uncontrollable once you gave birth to a baby. “Maybe you’re all plugged up from all of the junk.”

Right on cue, Josie let out a loud toot, surprising both women sitting with her on the couch.

“I didn’t say toot on me!” Sydney laughed and Ali was quick to join her.

“Better you than me” she chuckled at the coach and then waved her hand in front of her face. “Wow Jose, that’s stinky. I think we found the problem” Ali couldn’t help grinning at her best friend as she spoke.

“Lord almighty that’s a powerful stink girl” Sydney leaned her head as far back and away from Josie’s backside as possible but kept a playful look on her face the whole time. 

Josie giggled and tooted again and all three of them laughed together.

“Ok, that’s enough” Ali chuckled and stood up, trying to take the girl from Sydney.

“It’s alright Alibaba” the coach smiled back at her. “I’ll take her up and sit with her in the bathroom for a bit while I get ready for bed. As long as she doesn’t toot on me again” she made a disgusted face and then kissed Josie’s forehead as they stood up together. “Let’s go Josephini” she used her own unique pet name for the girl. “Before you really do need to poop, let’s get to a bathroom, ok?”

“Syd, I can take her” Ali tried one last time, “you don’t have to.”

“I know” Sydney smiled as she hugged her best friend goodnight. “I want to. Now hand me my wine. There’s no reason I can’t finish it upstairs” she added.

“Love you both” Ali kissed Sydney’s cheek and Josie’s head and watched them walk towards the front stairs. “Just be quiet or you’ll have everybody else up too” she warned.

“Please boo, I’m not some newbie” Sydney stopped at the doorway to the front hall and indignantly put her hand on her hip. “You’d better get some sleep too. I don’t want you too tired to cook us chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast” she winked.

“Yay! Those are my favorite” Josie enthused from the third step of the stairs as Sydney turned to follow her up.

“I know they are baby girl, that’s why I requested them” she smiled adoringly at the birthday girl. “Now get moving stinky butt. It’s late and you should be sleeping. Girls have to get their beauty sleep but you also have to rest up so you can show all those boys how things are done tomorrow. Go on now Josephini-banini.”  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's hoping for a great Pride game tonight and a big victory! Vamos Orlando!!! Kick ass ladies!!!


	9. Fear on the Fourth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anybody wants to refresh their memory of the Chris Harris incident that has rocked Ali so much, Part 7 chapter 33 is what you're looking for.

Opening day of the 5th year of The Academy was cooler than usual and rainy. But that didn’t dampen anybody’s spirits who’d been to camp before. They knew that there were almost as many rainy-day activities to do and indoor games to play as there were things to do on a beautiful sunny day. Jane Sheldrick had the camp staffed and running smoothly, right off the bat, as usual. Ashlyn chuckled to herself as she listened to Cat Whitehill taking her turn to welcome and address the campers inside the huge dining hall that first day of year 5. How far they had come since the first exciting but tentative year of The Academy. Ashlyn was equal parts proud of and grateful for the girls soccer camp she and her best friend, and others, had brought to life after years of daydreaming about it. The keeper still wanted to be able to do more, to bring more underprivileged kids to the camp from September to May when the soccer camp wasn’t in session, to expand the soccer camps and accept a larger group of girls each of the 8 weeks during the summer, to broaden the age range of the soccer camp, and so many other things. She made herself dizzy thinking about all the ways she wanted to grow and improve The Academy.

“Chill, will ya?” Tobin Heath pushed Ashlyn hard enough for the keeper to fall over onto the bed they were both sitting on. “You did a great thing. Try to appreciate it.”

It was still opening night of The Academy and Tobin and Christen Press were both coaching for the first two weeks. They had spent the past 6 weeks travelling among and visiting Tobin’s East Coast family after participating in the Engen Foundation fundraiser at the beginning of May. They brought their two kids with them, Zane was 2-1/2 years old and a very busy little boy who was the apple of Tobin’s eye. He reminded Ashlyn and Whitney of Dodge Krieger the way he bounded into life with extra energy and a huge smile. Christen had given birth to their baby girl almost exactly a year ago, in June of 2028. Francesca was named after Christen’s beloved Grandmother, Grandfran, and was a happy and healthy 12-month old. Franny had been learning to talk for a couple of months and was getting ready to start walking on her own soon as well. Ashlyn was visiting the young family in their cabin that first evening, eagerly waiting for the chance to feed Franny her nighttime bottle.

“Hey! Quit pushing!” the keeper sat upright quickly and flashed an angry look at her old friend. “What if I’d been holding the baby?”

“But you’re not holding the baby” Tobin grinned.

“She’s about to be holding the baby so both of you knock it off” Christen chided them as she crossed from the other side of the cabin with Franny in her arms. “And if you wake the boy up you’re staying up with him – not me” she quirked her eyebrow and pointed at the two women sitting side by side on one of the twin bunk beds in the cabin.

“But I didn’t even do anything” Ashlyn complained, nudging Tobin with her elbow and making the youthful, creative former-midfielder laugh.

They both zipped their lips when they received another warning glare from Christen. Ashlyn’s whole demeanor changed as soon as she got a look at sweet little Franny.

“Here she is” Christen smiled broadly as she bent over and placed her daughter into the keeper’s waiting arms. Tobin beamed at the whole scene – her beloved wife, her perfect little daughter, and one of her best friends. “Be careful of her thigh, here” Christen pointed at the baby. “She got some shots today and it’s still sore.”

“Oooh, ouch” Ashlyn winced as she carefully cradled the baby girl against her chest. “I remember those days. Has she been fussy too? All of our kids had really rough nights whenever they got their shots” she shook her head and then her whole face lit up as she looked down into Franny’s perfectly round face.

“She’s doing ok” Tobin smiled up at her wife, looking for confirmation. “She hasn’t been too bad, right Chris?”

“No, she’s been good so far. We tried to tucker her out so she’ll just take this bottle and hopefully go right to sleep.” Christen stood there for a few seconds, admiring the adorable scene in front of her. 

“Did you get some shots today sweetheart?” Ashlyn cooed sweetly at the baby girl. “I’m sorry, yes I am. But those shots are gonna make you strong and keep you safe. Yes they are” she tickled Franny’s cheek and made the little girl giggle.

“That’s right” Christen chimed in. “She was so brave, weren’t you babaloo? Yes you were. Yes you were” Christen gently squeezed the foot inside the adorable ducky onesie pajamas the baby was already dressed in.

The bottle warmer beeped and she turned on her heel and jogged over to it to shut it off before another beep threatened to wake up Zane who was fast asleep in another bunkbed on the other side of the room. 

“I can’t believe some people still think vaccinating your kids is bad for them” Tobin shook her head as she watched Ashlyn and the baby.

“Oh man, don’t get me started” Ashlyn rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. “There’s not much that makes me angrier than those idiots” she scowled but it was impossible to make her face do anything other than smile as she interacted with the beautiful baby in her arms. “All I can think of is my Grandmother Lilian. What would she have given to be able to vaccinate her boys? She lost one of her sons, one of my uncles, to polio when he was 3 years old. He would have lived if there had been a vaccine around back then.”

“I just don’t get it. How many times do the scientists have to tell them that the whole thing was a load of crap from the very start? I mean, I like to question things more than most people do” Tobin chuckled at the accurate self-description. “But even I know better than to argue with science.”

“More and more states are passing that law that requires kids to get vaccinated, thank God” the keeper added. “It’s the 21st century and we were almost the generation that brought back the measles and polio. Unfreakingbelievable.”

“Here” Christen handed the bottle to Ashlyn with a smile. “I’m sorry about your uncle, that’s terrible” she patted the keeper on her shoulder. “Well, she got shots for mumps, measles and rubella, and also chicken pox so she’s all set for another 6 months. Tilt her head up just a bit” she said softly to Ashlyn who was holding the bottle and feeding the baby. “She’s such a little piggy that she needs help to remember to breathe sometimes” they all chuckled.

“Ali’s gonna be so jealous” the keeper giggled. “I’m warning you right now, keep your eyes on this baby – my wife just might take her home when you’re not looking.” 

“Is she bringing the kids up Thursday with Whit?” Tobin asked, resting her cheek against Ashlyn’s shoulder as she watched the keeper feed her daughter.

“Yep. She’s also coaching week 3 with me before I go to Israel and then again when I come back, for week 8” Ashlyn lowered her voice while the baby settled in with droopy eyes and devoured her bedtime bottle.

“The Euros, that’s right” Christen nodded, remembering her wife talking about The Academy schedule for the summer and how she wanted to make sure to be at camp early before Ashlyn had to leave. “That’ll be fun. You loved it last time, right?”

“Yeah, Germany. That was...”

“According to both your answers during the Newlywed Game, it was the best vacation you guys ever had” Tobin smirked and then giggled as Ashlyn shrugged her off of her shoulder and blushed a little bit.

“It was amazing. You guys get it” she took her eyes off of the baby long enough to look at Christen and then at Tobin. “You’ve been married for what?” she tilted her head and tried to do the math.

“3-1/2 years” the former-striker answered and moved to sit on Tobin’s lap, carefully avoiding the upper bunk above them.

“Right, but you were together for so long before that, you know how cool it is to know each other so well. It’s an awesome feeling to know the person you love and know what kind of drink to order for them when they have to run to the ladies room as soon as you get to the restaurant. Or know what kind of sub to order for them or ice cream so you can bring it home for them when you’re out with the kids. It’s one of the best feelings ever.”

Tobin and Christen lazily held hands as they listened intently to Ashlyn’s high voice, quieter than normal in the sleepy room. They both nodded or hummed in agreement as she talked.

“But being in Germany with her...having her show me her Germany after already being together for 9 years...it was one of the most incredible experiences I think we’ll ever have” she blushed a little bit, realizing how emotional she had gotten as she tried to explain why the Euros had been so wonderful four years earlier. “I don’t know” she shrugged, embarrassed. “I didn’t think there was anything left for us to tell each other that we hadn’t already talked about, you know? But talking about it and going there and experiencing it with her was a whole other level” she smiled and then spoke to the baby. “It was pretty cool Francesca. Yes it was.”

“Is she going to Israel with you too?”

“Nah, the kids have too many things going on now. They’ve got their own little lives with activities and friends and opinions” she chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Just you wait. You’ll see. It won’t be long before Zane has you driving him all over the place. You’ll see. It happens so fast” she sighed a little sadly. “Before you know it they’ll be 10 years old and asking for their own phones and making their own breakfast.” She paused and studied Franny’s slowly-stilling face as she sucked intermittently on the bottle. “It’s amazing but brutal – all at the same time. Enjoy this while you’ve got it” she nodded at the blissful baby in her arms. “There’s nothing quite like this.”

//

Ashlyn’s 3-week trip to Israel for the EUROs that summer had her leaving on Friday July 13th and returning on Monday August 6th. The 3 weeks between the opening of The Academy and that departure date were busy and went by quickly. There were 3 home games for the Breakers, all on Saturday evenings and Ashlyn would miss the third one, flying out the day before. Tommy Flanagan’s 2nd birthday party was in the afternoon before the first of those 3 home games on June 30th. Then on Sunday July 1st the Horribles parade and fireworks show up in Gloucester was going to be the Kriegers’ first big summer party that year. It was also going to be the first time Chris Harris visited the big old house since that dark Thanksgiving night two years earlier when his alcoholism almost destroyed everything. The whole Harris clan was coming up for that first week of July, including Grandpa Mike.

Kyle and his family were still visiting as well, but they were staying at the hotel right by Good Harbor Beach for the second week of their vacation to make room at the big old house for the Harrises. Nathan’s parents still hated when they didn’t stay with them in Ipswich, but the beach vacation every summer was the one time Kyle and Nathan could put their foot down without feeling guilty. The point of the beach vacation was to stay near the beach and that meant staying with Ali and Ashlyn. Besides, the kids loved it and the two-week July 4th vacation tradition had become one of the things all 6 young cousins looked forward to each summer. Kyle was going to ask his mom if they could stay with them for the second week instead of spending money on a hotel but Deb never offered and it made him ask his sister about it.

“So you think I should just ask her?” Kyle asked Ali as they did the grocery shopping the day after Josie’s birthday party and the NYC Kriegers’ arrival.

“I don’t know, but if she didn’t offer then that means something’s up” she replied as she put four boxes of different breakfast cereal in the cart and looked at her list again. She was doing the weekly shopping for her own family and then trying to get the things she knew Kyle’s family liked too. “Maybe she doesn’t want Peaches there or something. I don’t know what to tell you Ky.”

“Well we could leave Peaches with you guys...”

“I’m fine with that but I don’t think Cristina will be, do you?”

“No, hmmmmm...” Kyle pondered the question as he pushed the shopping cart down the next aisle. They worked through two more aisles, focusing on the list and filling the cart before he spoke again. “Do you think everything’s ok with Mike? I mean, are they having trouble again?”

“God, I never even thought about that” Ali turned to face her brother with her mouth hanging open in shock. “Do you?”

“I don’t know” his eyes went wide as they locked on his sister’s. “She hasn’t said anything to me about it.”

“About what though, Mike’s health or them having problems?” Ali squinted, concerned.

“Neither” he shook his head quickly. “And Nate hasn’t said anything either.”

It was sweet but slightly annoying to both Krieger siblings that Mike Christopher seemed to enjoy spending time with Nathan more than anybody else of their generation. Deb had soothed both of their injured egos about it over the past several years, explaining that Mike and Nathan just had more things in common. It was as simple as that. And both Kyle and Ali had to agree with that assessment after paying more attention to what Mike and Nathan spent their time doing. Chess was the big interest they shared, followed closely by golf. Nathan wasn’t a golfer, but he knew who the players were and he understood the game and would watch it on tv every once in a while. That was enough for Mike and their friendship had blossomed from there. Nathan was almost always the first of his step-children and their spouses that Mike pulled off to the side to talk to and Nathan seemed to genuinely enjoy the relationship too. Mike would never be his first choice of grandparents to hang out with, but he honestly enjoyed the time they spent together. They played chess together remotely through an app on their phones and often texted or called each other to discuss the next big golf event. All of which led to conversations about the kids or Nathan’s work or Mike’s health.

“I think they’re fine” Ali said and nodded, more in an effort to convince herself than anything else. “He’s been doing so much better with the diet and the exercise...”

“Yeah, but has he though?”

“Do you think Mom is lying to us about it?” Ali asked with another frightened expression on her face.

“No, but maybe he’s lying to her?” Kyle sighed heavily and stopped the cart by the chocolate cupcakes and twinkies and other delicious snacks that they all tried to avoid whenever possible. He put two boxes into the cart and pushed it quickly away, talking over his shoulder. “Maybe we’re making all of this up and there’s nothing wrong except she doesn’t feel like having all of us in her condo for a week” he laughed out loud.

“You’re a big jerk, you know that?” Ali slapped him hard on the back of his strong shoulder. “This is just so like you...you get me all worried about something that might not even be happening and then you just laugh it off and leave me to figure it out” she fumed, walking away from him and around the end of the aisle, out of sight and muttering to herself.

The truth was that Ali was anxious about seeing Chris Harris and having him staying in her house with them. She hadn’t admitted it to a single soul yet and she was trying hard not to. She was stubbornly trying to squash her feelings down so she could muscle her way through the holiday week and focus on the good things and the family members she did love. That had been part of the reason for hosting the big 4th of July party this year. The brunette hoped that if she had enough people around her that day, it would be easier to forget the big man with the beard and the big laugh who her kids still called Unky Chris. Ashlyn had tried to talk her out of the party, especially since they had just seen many of their friends for Josie’s birthday party and the other birthdays in May. But Ali was determined.

The Harrises arrived on Saturday June 30th and settled into the big old house before going in to the Breakers game that evening. For the first time in a long time, and only because Ashlyn insisted that her father honor the request, Mike Harris stayed at the big old house with everybody instead of at the hotel near the beach – the same hotel Kyle and his family were at that week.

“Come on Pop, you always do the hotel thing” Ashlyn argued with him that afternoon when the arrangements had been revealed. “Let mom and Carol stay there this time and you stay with us at the house. Please.”

“Aw Bash, I don’t want them to have to stay at the hotel” he scrunched his face up in distaste at the idea. “It’s alright for me but they should be at the house with the kids...”

“That’s crazy. My kids see you a lot less than they do mom and Carol and I want them to have more time with you. I want them to have those sweet times with you when they fall asleep on your lap at night because they can’t keep their eyes open another second” she smiled softly at him. “And I want you to see how cute they can be in the morning before they wake all the way up and turn into their true demon selves” she giggled and put her arm around her father’s shoulders as they half paid attention to the mayhem surrounding them in the kitchen as everybody got their luggage into the house and went to the bathroom and got drinks and snacks after their long trip. “Unless you have a...personal reason that you don’t want to spend the nights in my house – and you don’t have to tell me what it is” she cocked her head at him and quirked her eyebrow, “I’m here to tell you that this is what’s going down this time.”

It had been Ali who had suggested that maybe Mike liked more privacy than he was likely going to be afforded if he stayed with them, specifically in the bathroom, for example. It had never occurred to Ashlyn that something like that might be keeping her father from being their overnight guest. There was only one way to find out and the keeper was biting the bullet this vacation and would find out exactly what the reason was. She was pretty sure he was just being chivalrous – his own version of a southern gentleman letting the women stay in the comfortable house while he went to the hotel instead.

“No, there’s no reason” he chuckled and blushed a bit before giving her a genuine smile. “I’d love to stay here this week. As long as your mother and Carol are ok with the hotel, that is” he gave one last try.

“They’re good. Everything’s great. Thanks Pop!” she hugged him and kissed his cheek with a loud smack. “This is gonna be awesome!”

Johnny slept in Drew’s extra bed and Lizzy took Josie’s extra bed, as always. Mike took the pullout in the studio and Chris and Beth took the guest room, aka Meg’s room. Everybody was sad that Meg couldn’t come up for at least part of the holiday week. She had a soccer camp and a basketball camp on one weekend and then the next. The only day off she had was the actual 4th of July and the whole idea of flying up for one day off seemed like too much of an ask, as much as everybody wanted it to happen. Tammye and Carol didn’t stay at the hotel. They surprised Ashlyn and Ali by renting out a house in Rockport they wanted to check out to start looking into buying a condo or something up there as they had discussed earlier in the year. They had to start checking things out if they were serious about it and they were definitely serious about it.

The Horribles Parade and fireworks show the next day, Sunday July 1st, were both big hits, as usual. Almost everybody went to the parade now that the kids were old enough to do their own walking and talking and bathroom business. The whole day felt freer in a way because of it. There were no scheduled nap times that people were rushing to get home for and no diaper changes or baby food diets to deal with. Having older kids was great in many ways, as long as you didn’t think too hard about all of the trouble they could get themselves into with those more grown up legs of theirs. Ken and Vicki Krieger, Koty and Brianna Wild, Deb and Mike Christopher, Kyle and Nathan and the kids, the Kimballs, and the Dwyers all came to Gloucester for the Horribles parade or the fireworks or both. Both the Flanagans and the Crosses were out of town celebrating 4th of July with extended family for the whole week.

The big 4th of July party that Wednesday had many of the same people but also included several Gloucester friends Ali and Ashlyn had made through the kids’ school and sporting events. Some of their other friends who they didn’t get to see very often attended and everybody really enjoyed spending time together and meeting new people. Deb and Sydney could both see how hard Ali was working to make the party a big success and they did everything they could to help. They dutifully quizzed her on her motivation for throwing such a big, ambitious party in the middle of so many houseguests and with Ashlyn getting ready to leave for 3-weeks. But the brunette convinced them that it was just time for them to throw a big party and what better time than with all their relatives there too. It was true to an extent too. They hadn’t hosted a big party among any of their groups of friends in a while and it really was time. Whether or not it was the time to have the big whopper of a party that brought all of those various groups together at one time was a topic of discussion for later. Even Julie Donaldson, their next-door neighbor who knew more than most about the goings on in the big old house, but somehow not as much as Ali or Ashlyn ever really thought she did, questioned the brunette about the timing. But Ali had just laughed it off and said something about no time like the present.

Ali was busy getting ready for the party the two days before it and then busy cleaning up after it the day after it so that left her with just Friday and Saturday before the Harrises flew home Sunday morning. Her other free time that week had been spent getting the kids and herself ready to accompany Ashlyn up to The Academy for the third session which started the Sunday afternoon that the Harrises flew back to Florida. Ali was one of the coaches for week 3 and was excited to spend her time up there in that sweet, pure, soccer world. Sydney would also be there and that added extra incentive when they were working out the schedule. Whitney was also going to be back from Long Island and Niki Cross was returning from Rhode Island too. They were all looking forward to week 3 at The Academy and Ali was thankful for the extra loads of laundry and planning that she was required to do to get ready for it.

Chris had been wonderful the whole week. He was his good old, fun-loving, easy-going self again and you could tell by the way his wife and kids were so relaxed around him that it wasn’t just an act. This Chris Harris had come through the fire and appeared to have forged a better version of himself. Everybody could see it and the whole extended family, on both sides, breathed a collective sigh of relief. Mike, Tammye, Carol and Ashlyn all looked slightly suspicious but you couldn’t really blame them. They believed what they were seeing but, from experience, they were trying to prepare themselves for the next fall. They hoped it would never come, just as they hoped Tammye and Mike would never fall again, but they prepared themselves emotionally for it just in case. The Krieger half of the family was less willing to embrace and move forward. They were all still angry or, at best, worried, about the damage and hurt the big man had caused Ali and Ashlyn, not to mention Mike Christopher. The Krieger clan was wary. They wanted to forgive and welcome Chris back into their hearts, but they needed more time or more proof. Everybody was perfectly civil and cordial and put on their best faces. There were no harsh words exchanged or even stern looks among the two extended families. They had all had experience with addiction by then and knew they could all be in the others’ position in the blink of an eye. 

Ali loved having Beth and Mike and the kids in the house with her family and nothing would ever change that. She did her best to be friendly to Chris and found it easy enough when they were in group settings. But she was really uncomfortable when she found herself alone with him. She wondered why she hadn’t noticed this before. Had she not noticed this before during their trips to Florida during the past year and a half? Or had she just pushed it down, not willing to deal with it yet? When Ali and her family had visited Florida they had always stayed at Tammye and Carol’s beach house. Johnny and Lizzy had slept there too sometimes for cousin sleepovers and the Krieger kids had slept over at Chris & Beth’s for the same reason. Ali had been able to be in the same room with him before, even down in the beach house – the scene of the big Thanksgiving night fight. What could be more stressful than that? Maybe it was just the fact that her large – physically and vocally and personality-wise large – brother-in-law was staying with her in her own house under her own roof. Maybe that’s what the difference was this time. The more Ali thought about it as the week went on, failing time and again to just block it out of her thoughts, the more she came back to that assumption. But she had no idea why it would make a difference. She trusted Chris with her kids. She believed her wife when Ashlyn reiterated her steadfast belief that Chris was a new man, a better man this time around. As hard as it was to believe, she was pretty sure she even trusted him with her wife. Ali couldn’t imagine another situation of any kind where Chris would hurt Ashlyn again. It just wouldn’t be possible. The big man’s dna simply wouldn’t allow it to happen again, right? So why was Ali so jumpy when she found herself alone with him this visit? 

“What is going on with you?” Deb asked the afternoon before the big 4th of July party. She had just come out of the pantry carrying cans of beans to add to the chili she was making and surprised Ali who was cutting up vegetables at the counter by the sink. The brunette jumped out of her skin when her mother set the cans on the counter by the stove, about 3 feet away. “You’re gonna cut your fingers off if you’re not careful” Deb eyed her daughter carefully, worried.

“Jesus, you startled me!” Ali clutched her chest, sharp paring knife still in her hand and almost stabbing her neck.

“Alex, watch that knife now!” Deb chastised and moved towards the frazzled younger woman, taking the knife from her hand and placing it on the cutting board. “What on earth?”

“Sorry” Ali laughed nervously and looked down, hoping to avoid the inquisition that she knew was coming. “I... haven’t been sleeping well. I’m just a little jumpy from too much caffeine I think.”

“And why haven’t you been sleeping well? You’ve been tense and high-strung for days now.”

“Oh mom” she sighed heavily and patted her mother’s arm that still rested on the counter, guarding the knife from being picked up again until Deb was sure it was ok. “I’ve just got a lot going on, that’s all.” She regretted the words as soon as they left her lips.

“Well that’s what I was trying to tell you with this party” Deb put her free hand on her hip and gave her daughter a stern look. “You’re busy enough with Kyle here and Ash’s family, and then next week you’re all all over the place with your different camps and getting the kids ready for that” she listed off Josie’s drama camp and Drew’s basketball camp in addition to Ali and Ashlyn and the twins going up to The Academy for the week as coaches. “I just don’t understand why you had to have this big party tomorrow” she shook her head and exhaled loudly. “It just doesn’t make any sense honey.”

“Yeah, ok, so maybe I got a little too excited and bit off more than I should have this week” Ali tried to temper the anger in her voice but Deb heard it loud and clear.

“Don’t get mad at me because you’re on some crazy mission to exhaust yourself and almost kill yourself in the process” Deb nodded at the knife on the cutting board and quirked her eyebrow at Ali. “I’m only here to help.”

“Ugh, I know” Ali groaned and slumped her shoulders, closing her eyes to try and reset herself before she truly lost her temper. “Thanks Mom. Really. Nothing this week would be working without you. I mean it” she gave her mother a small but sweet and sincere smile and then hugged her. “I’m just tired. I’m gonna try to get to bed early tonight and be better tomorrow.”

“How much do you miss naptime now?” Deb chuckled as she held her daughter and squeezed, happy to hear her laugh with her.

“No kidding” Ali rolled her eyes as they separated after the hug. “But with naptime you have to go back to diapers and that’s a hard no” she laughed again and shook her head.

“Here, why don’t you let me finish with the vegetables and you add the beans to the chili” she motioned over to the crock pot on the counter by the stove where she had already started the chili for the next day. It was nearly finished and there wasn’t much Ali could do to hurt herself or mess it up. “Just...try not to burn yourself or slice your hand open with the can-opener, ok?”

“Ok, thanks mom.”

Ali had done as promised and gone to bed earlier than usual that night, trying to get caught up on some sleep and hopefully settle her nerves. As soon as the nighttime routine with the kids was completed she went upstairs, took a nice bath and crawled into bed feeling better than she had in days already. Ashlyn knew something was bothering her wife and was pretty sure it had something to do with Chris being there but every time she had asked Ali about it the brunette had assured her she was fine. The keeper didn’t want to make anything worse so she didn’t press Ali on it. That is until that night.

It was almost 2am and Ali had gotten up to pee. She’d been in bed since 10pm, happily following her plan. As she sat on the toilet her mind went through a list of about 10 things, some having to do with the big party later that day and others being completely random and disconnected from anything having to do with that week at all. At the very end of her rambling thoughts, as she was drying her hands, she wondered if anybody had turned off the crock pot and put the chili away. She went down the backstairs as quietly as she could, trying to avoid the creaky step fourth from the bottom. She saw the crock pot base on the counter where it should have been and smiled when she saw that the crock pot itself wasn’t there. Somebody had remembered to put it into the refrigerator, or the back-up fridge down in the basement, after all. She tidied up a few things on the counters and decided to empty the dishwasher while she was up. She worked as quickly and as quietly as she could, moving between the dishwasher near the sink and the kitchen cabinets in different places along the kitchen walls.

“You’re up late, or is it early?” Chris’ deep voice entered the room from the mudroom without any warning and made Ali jump again.

“Shit!” she yelled out at the same time she jumped a foot off the ground at the surprise visitor. She dropped the two tall drinking glasses she had been about to put away and they both crashed loudly on the hard tile floor at her feet. “Fuck!”

“Oh wow, I’m so sorry Al...” he apologized quickly and started to cross the room towards her.

“No, don’t!” she held her arm out straight in front of her with her palm facing him, like a crossing guard stopping traffic. “Just...stay there.”

“What the fuck?” Ashlyn’s tired, raspy, anxious voice got to the bottom of the backstairs a few seconds before her body did and her sleepy eyes went wide at the sight.

Ali stood two feet away from the dishwasher and kitchen sink, facing the rest of the kitchen. She was in her pajamas, light cotton pj pants with different colored musical notes all over them – a mother’s day gift from Josie, and a soft Boston University sleep t-shirt. She was barefoot and her shoulder length hair was down and messy from being asleep for 4 hours. She wore her glasses and a look of sheer terror on her face as her chest rose and fell rapidly.

“I think I surprised her” Chris offered meekly from his place near the mudroom, by the refrigerator. “I hope we didn’t wake anybody else up.”

“Don’t move Al, you’re barefoot” the keeper instructed as she began to get her wits about her. “Just stay still for a minute. You too Bubba.” 

Ashlyn ran up the backstairs and put on a pair of sneakers she typically worked out in. She was back in less than a minute and she carefully swept up the broken glass. As she worked in front of her wife, the keeper noticed how frightened she still looked, a good 10 minutes after the fact.

“What are you idiots doing up in the middle of the night anyway?” she asked in a cranky voice when Chris came back into the kitchen after hopping into the mudroom to put his own shoes on so he could help with the clean up.

“I came down for a drink of water” he explained. “I thought there’d be less chance of waking anybody up if I came all the way down to the kitchen instead of using one of the bathrooms upstairs.”

“And you?” Ashlyn gave her wife a stern look before pecking her lips and patting her hip as she kept sweeping up the glass. The shards had flown a good distance in all directions and it took a while to get it all picked up. “It looks like you’re emptying the dishwasher but that can’t be because you went to bed early tonight to catch up on some sleep...” she challenged but it was more of a gentle tease and she smiled as she spoke.

30 minutes later they were back in bed but Ashlyn wasn’t ready to just let it go without trying to get her girl talking about what had happened.

“You looked absolutely terrified down there” she said softly as she spooned Ali from behind, gently caressing her shoulder. “What’s going on honey? I’m really worried about you.”

Ali didn’t answer but her wife wasn’t giving up. Ashlyn got up on her elbow so she could look down and see the brunette’s face better. She looked tired and tense and pale.

“Baby, please...talk to me. I know something’s bothering you. I’d really like to help, if I can” she pressed another kiss into Ali’s shoulder and patted her hip through the covers. “Please Al...”

“I don’t know what’s going on right now Ashlyn” Ali snapped and then sighed loudly, rolling onto her back to look up into her wife’s concerned face. “But this isn’t helping. It’s a busy week and I made it worse with this stupid party and it’s my own damned fault” her bottom lip trembled a little as she fought for control of her emotions.

Ashlyn didn’t allow herself to be distracted by the surface excuse of the busy week and the party and prepping for the various camps coming up the next week. She held firm and didn’t budge or try to soothe her wife. Instead she spoke in a flat, clear tone that told Ali there was no more hiding.

“It’s Chris isn’t it? You’re having a hard time with him being here...in the house with us.”

Ali blinked up at her a couple of times, shocked that her keeper had figured it out and annoyed that they were probably going to have another fight about it. Why did she have to drop those stupid glasses? Ashlyn would never have known how frightened Ali was if she had just been able to hold onto those fucking drinking glasses.

“I...” she stammered, not at all sure what she was even trying to say. Instead she closed her eyes tightly as tears squeezed out the sides of them and fell down her cheeks into the pillow.

“Tell me what’s upsetting you” Ashlyn implored, showing remarkable stamina and determination to stay the course and finally get the answers she needed. “You looked really scared downstairs tonight. Are you afraid of him? Are you afraid he’s going to hurt you, or me, again?”

Ali’s tears kept falling and Ashlyn’s anxiety kept rising. After another 10 minutes of slowing tears but no answers, the keeper got frustrated and flopped angrily over to her side of the bed.

“Fine. Don’t talk to me. Do everything all by yourself, as usual. Ali Krieger – martyr who helps everybody else with whatever problems they have but won’t even admit to being afraid to her own wife. Enjoy suffering in solitude. That always works so well for us” she huffed and rolled onto her side facing away from her wife.

“I’m sorry” Ali’s small voice finally reached the other side of the bed but that was all she said before rolling onto her side facing away from the keeper. 

“If you won’t talk to me...I’ll have to deal with that” Ashlyn turned her head and spoke over her shoulder, hurt feelings on full display. “But you’d better talk to somebody about it Al. For fuck’s sake. Kyle, Syd, hell, make an appointment with Mattie. Just...figure it out.”

As they both lay there trying to fall back asleep, so many other things ran through their heads that they wished they had said. Neither of them had handled it very well that night and they both had regrets. Ashlyn had been more than patient with Ali for over a year as she struggled to cope with Chris being back in their lives. She’d meant what she said last Christmas when she told Ali that she’d choose her over Chris every single time. There wasn’t even a reason to discuss it. But Ashlyn couldn’t just ask her brother to leave her house if Ali wouldn’t at least tell her that’s what the problem was, could she? And Ali felt guilty for not being able to tell her wife what she was feeling. But she wasn’t just being difficult – she hadn’t really figured out what she was feeling yet. Actually seeing Chris and living with him in their space had been surprisingly difficult for the brunette and she was trying to work it out for herself. And now, because stupid Chris had to get a fucking drink of water that night, Ashlyn was worried about her. That was a whole other level of guilt Ali would have to carry with her for at least the rest of the week. And neither of them wanted to fight before Ashlyn went to Israel for 3 weeks. That was the last thing either of them wanted or needed. They had both been looking forward to coaching together at The Academy next week before the keeper left for the EUROs and now Chris had probably fucked that up for them too. It was a fitful, restless four hours more of bad sleep for both women. And then it was the 4th of July.

The party was a lot more fun than Ali thought it was going to be. All sorts of different people floated in and out throughout the afternoon and evening. Some hung out at the house and others went down to the beach but they all ate well thanks to Deb, Carol and Ali. Even the NH Kriegers came down for the day, which was a welcome surprise. Ali had invited them but really didn’t think they would show up, especially not altogether en masse like they did. The brunette was glad to see them and actually enjoyed most of her interactions with all of them, except for Aunt Becky of course. The kindness that the cranky old woman had shown over the past several years was apparently temporary. Once her grandchildren started to get a little bit older she went back to her spiteful, argumentative self, much to everybody’s chagrin. This time though, her own family seemed more willing to stand up to her and challenge her horrible takes on several different subjects. Even Uncle Scott disagreed with her stance on a couple of things. It was refreshing for all of the Massachusetts Kriegers who had wondered for decades why none of them called her on her bullshit.

The neighboring town of Rockport was doing their fireworks show that night at 9:30 and several party-goers had plans to attend that and then head home for the night. Others planned to hang out and watch on the big screen tv the annual Boston Pops orchestra performance on the Esplanade in Boston and the big fireworks show after that. Before the night got to that point though, right after dinner, everybody went back down to the beach for some group photos and one more splash in the ocean if anybody was up for it. Ali had been busy all day and some people closest to her noticed that something seemed off. After the pictures were done, Ken put his arm around his daughter’s shoulders as they stood in ankle deep surf.

“Will you take a walk?” he asked simply and turned her away from the rest of the group and started to stroll slowly down the beach, away from the direction of the big old house. He reached out his other arm and welcomed Vicki into the group side-hug and walk through the surf. “My two best girls” he grinned and kissed Ali on the side of her head and then Vicki on her lips. “I’m a lucky, lucky man.”

It felt good to be walking next to her father and Ali let the calm serenity that emanated from him wash over her for a few minutes. Before too long, they heard voices of children approaching behind them and Ali tried to turn and look but her father stopped her.

“I’ve got this” he winked at her. “You two keep going. Enjoy the beautiful evening.”

Vicki and Ali hesitated for a few seconds but then continued, closing the gap between them and walking along side by side in a comfortable silence.

“I was afraid of Koty for a long time after he went off the rails that Christmas” Vicki admitted softly after Ken left them. Ali wasn’t sure what was going on and was inclined to wait for him to come back and join them, until Vicki looped their arms together and gently pulled her along. “Feel free to tell me to mind my own business, honestly Ali” she looked sideways at the younger woman as they started to stroll again.

Ali turned around and looked over her shoulder where Ken and Mike Harris were standing knee deep in the ocean, playfully and subtly herding various children back towards the rest of the family and away from Vicki and Ali. She knew this little walk had been a set-up but instead of bristling at it, she relaxed into it as much as she could. She was tired of fighting it. Maybe it would help to talk to somebody else about it. The brunette met her step-mother’s friendly but concerned gaze for a few seconds and then looked forward again.

“I didn’t think I was afraid of him, so much as I just hate him” the brunette dropped her eyes, ashamed of her confession. Vicki had faced forward again too, and they continued their leisurely wade through the cool water and calming surf lapping against their calves. “I know how horrible that sounds...” her voice trailed off.

“It’s not horrible at all. I’d hate him too if I was in your shoes. I was lucky. Koty’s wreckage wasn’t nearly as big as Chris’ and he didn’t hurt your dad – the person I love. I’m not sure what I would have done if that had happened.”

“But I am...afraid of him” Ali swallowed and felt the weight of her admission lift off of her shoulders. “I am. I think I’ve been too angry up until now to really feel that, and I think that’s why I’m so surprised by it now.”

“He’s also not been up here since that Thanksgiving night, has he?”

“No. I think that’s what’s different. He’s in my safest place and...I’m terrified” her eyes went wide as she remembered how frightened she had been the night before. “I don’t think I’ve ever been as scared as I was last night...”

Vicki squeezed Ali’s arm and then closed her eyes and lifted her face into the soft breeze that was coming in off the water. She didn’t ask what Ali was talking about and that let the brunette know that Ashlyn had told someone about what happened in the kitchen in the wee hours of that morning. Ali tried to be upset with her keeper for telling her secrets, but the blame always came back to her own self. Ashlyn was worried about her and Ali had done nothing to assuage that worry so the blonde had done what she felt she had to do to take care of her wife. Ali would have done exactly the same thing and she knew it.

“Do you think you’ll always be afraid of him or is it something that will pass with time?” Vicki’s steady voice had a mesmerizing effect on Ali’s nerves.

“I’m not sure” the brunette sighed. “I’m sure it’ll get better with time. I want it to get better, that I know for sure.”

“Well that’s good, because that was my next question. Do you want to have him in your life?”

“Of course I do...” she paused as she thought hard about what should have been a simple question. “Ashlyn and the kids love him so much. He’s family” she shrugged.

“Then you just take the time you need and it’ll work out” Vicki patted her hand and smiled warmly at her. “Maybe let him know what’s going on so he can be mindful of whatever boundaries you need to put in place...”

“No, I don’t want to put rules on anything” she shook her head. “I guess I just don’t want him sneaking up on me at 2am in the dark kitchen” she chuckled. “That can be a rule I guess.”

“I know you’ve been through this before with Kyle, and Koty to some extent, but I don’t think you were ever afraid of either of them, were you?”

“No, not like this. No way.”

“Are you afraid for Ashlyn too or just you?”

“That’s the weird thing” Ali shook her head as she spoke, still wondering how this could be. “I know he won’t hurt her again. I just...I truly believe he’d hurt himself before he ever hurt her again. And that should be enough, right there” she exhaled loudly, letting some frustration out. “But it’s not. I’m the one who’s afraid of him.”

“It makes sense to me” Vicki nodded. “You’ve spent all this time forgiving him for what he did to your wife. You never got around to thinking about what he did to you, or how what he did to her affected you.”

“I guess” the brunette sighed and sounded discouraged. 

“Well, I can tell you from personal experience that the more you see him behaving like his old self again, the faster the fear goes away. I didn’t want to be alone in the house with Koty for a few weeks after his...episode. I told your dad and he made sure he was there as much as possible and we worked through it, together.”

“I know I need to talk to Ashlyn” Ali sighed again, this time filled with regret. “I just like to have things more figured out first. But maybe this time I can’t get there without her.”

“It’s called teamwork for a reason” Vicki squeezed Ali’s arm again and chuckled softly. “You guys are one of the best teams I’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s time to use that support?”

“You’re not afraid of Koty anymore, at all?” Ali looked over at Vicki, hoping and praying for the answer she wanted to hear. She couldn’t keep from smiling when she finally heard it.

“Nope. Not one bit. That wasn’t really him that night. I know it sounds silly or too easy to say it like that. But it’s the truth. My Koty would never have said or done what that Koty did that night. And he feels sorry for it to this very day. I know he does because we’ve talked about it. He and Kyle talk about it too. When you’ve seen Chris back to his old self enough, your fear will go away too. You trust him with your kids and with your wife already, you just have to find a way to be around him enough to see who he is again. But that takes time and it can’t be rushed.”

Ali thought about all the times she had purposely avoided being near Chris and realized she had only hurt herself by adopting that method of coping with their situation. Instead of protecting herself she had only caused the problem to drag on longer. But it had felt like the right thing to do at the time and she decided not to beat herself up too much for it. She knew she had done the best she could. She had been trying hard all along. It’s not like there was a playbook she could follow to help her navigate through the past 20 months. She and her step-mother walked some more before realizing that it was getting late and they needed to turn around and head back to what was left of their group.

“Thanks Vicki, for telling me about you and Koty. I’m sure it’s not a story you tell at all your parties” she teased gently and they both laughed. “I really appreciate it.”

“It was your dad’s doing, really. He could tell something was really bothering you and we talked about it. That’s how we sort of figured it out. See? Teamwork.”

“Yeah, teamwork. I know you’re right” the brunette shook her head, frustrated with herself. “I talk about it all the time, with Ashlyn and the kids, but now that it’s time for me to actually use it, I messed it up.”

“It’s never too late to fix it though, right?”

“Nope, never too late” Ali smiled and squeezed her step-mother back as they made their way towards the large, unruly group down the beach. “You’re so right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a terribly frustrating and disappointing season for our Orlando Pride. I know they've got one game left against Sky Blue but talk about a meaningless game. I hope I'm wrong, but I honestly don't see the Pride winning that game either. I've heard lots of criticism of the coaching staff - much of it accurately placed. And I have myself criticized the players plenty. I watched the press conference after the game last night and Ali admitted that it had been difficult to establish that on-pitch connection because of all the line-up changes. She didn't blame Tom. She was diplomatic as always and made sure to include injuries and international players' absences into the mix. I like tom Sermanni a lot and I don't want to see him go. But...he can't fuck up the lineups like he did this year. Get your starting 11 sorted out and fucking play them together. A lot. Anyway, what a depressing end to a depressing season. And now we have to wait soooooooooooo long for next season. One of the Pride fans posted a picture and a comment on Twitter saying that Marta asked her and her friends if they were going to be coming back next year. That fan took that as a positive sign that Marta will come back too. I sure hope so. It's a joy and a privilege to watch her play and she makes any team she's on infinitely better. And what a game Ashlyn had huh?? She and Ali practically kept the Pride in it for the entire first half. They both played great. I lost track of how many headers Ali won. Too bad they're only two of the 11 on the pitch. I thought Zadorsky and Pickett had good games as well. Edmonds looked as lost as ever and caused as many mistakes and goals as usual. Part of me thinks Tom should be fired just for playing her every single game as much as he did. That's just inconceivable to me. Why did he go get Poliana in the first place? Why is Monica on the bench with Toni Pressley? Put them at center back and let Kriegs play RB. Do something besides leaving the worst defensive back on the team in every game. And Weatherholt and Marta were both non-stop engines as always. Everybody's bashing Morgan but I can't do it. I think she's underrated and never gets any credit for all the grunt work she does up top all by herself. I really liked she and Sydney Leroux together and it's a real shame that Syd got sick and then got the concussion in her first game back. If you'll notice, that's right when the shit really started to hit the fan for Orlando. I think a healthy Syd down the stretch gives us a completely different outcome. Anyway, I could list my complaints about the horrible midfield for pages, but I'll spare you. lol. Yah welcome! Here's hoping they get their shit figured out before next season. I love my Pride and it hurts me that they're 7th in the table. That's not where they belong, but it is about the level that they played at this season. Sad but true. Onward and upward.


	10. Stalker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is from the Stalker's point of view...

**********

 

May 7, 2029

I went to K-H today and checked it out better. Traffic sucked coming into the city so I didn’t get there until almost 10am. I’ll have to get up really early tomorrow if I want to see what time people show up to work there. I wonder if I leave at 6am if that’ll be early enough? I may have to ask Edward. God, I hate talking to him. He’s always so fucking cheerful about things he has no clue about. Moron. Maybe he’ll increase my allowance if he thinks I’ve got a new hobby...hmmm...that’s a good idea. I’ll have to think up a good story. They’ll be wondering where I am all the time anyway, once I start to find out more about Ali and Ashlyn’s schedules. 

I wonder what they’re doing right now? It’s Monday night and it’s late so they’re probably in bed already. Probably fucking each other’s brains out. Mmmmm... that’s a nice thought. They’re so beautiful. Totally different from each other, but both beautiful. I used to think I could look like that when I got older. I used to think I’d outgrow my acne and bad skin and shyness. Ha. Well, I grew – that’s for sure. 205lbs last time I stepped on the fucking scale in the doctor’s office. That’ll come down now though since I stopped taking the pills. I’ll try and eat less crap too. Maybe in a little while I’ll look better. Maybe I’ll even start working out or something. I’d do that for her. I’d look good for her.

 

May 10, 2029

Ok, so that commute fucking sucks. I’m not doing that anymore. But I got what I wanted to know anyway. I sat there and watched for three days – nobody pays attention to you if you’re just sitting on the bus bench in the little shelter thing, whatever the fuck it’s called. I didn’t really think about it before today, but it rained all afternoon and I stayed dry just sitting on the bench in the bus stop shelter thing.

So the front doors open at 9am and close at 5pm. That’s the official open for business hours I guess. But people come in and out of there before and after that too but somebody has to let them in and out unless they have a keycard. Sometimes it’s a security guard and sometimes it’s an employee. It was hard to tell who was coming and going – like, were they employees or clients? They get a lot of messengers and packages all day I’ll tell you that. Maybe it’s hard-copy contracts or something? I don’t fucking know, but that’s a busy busy place. There’s a receptionist at the big front desk all the time and someone covers for her when she leaves for lunch. The parking lot is behind the building and there’s a keycard entry door back there that anybody who drives in uses. Ali and Ash both use that door because I missed them all three days at the front.

But I saw them yesterday at lunch time!! I couldn’t believe it. It was kind of early, like 11:30am and they walked out the front damned door right across the street from me – well, technically, my bus stop seat is a block down but close fucking enough. There’s a salad place two blocks away, up towards Kendall Square, that they went to. That blonde lady was with them again – the one who hosted the fundraiser last week...why can’t I remember her name????? Whitney Engen. Had to look it up again. Fuck my brain just doesn’t work well sometimes. Anyway, they walked out the door and turned left to start walking up the street. Ali was on the phone and she had on a light gray skirt that came to just above her knees and a red blouse that buttoned up and was tucked into her skirt. It looked really soft and silky and the wind moved it as they walked – it was open about 2 buttons at her neck. Her hair was down and she kept trying to move it out of her face with her other hand when the wind blew it. Ash had to pull her back when they got close to the intersection because she couldn’t see where she was going very well. Ha ha. It was pretty cute. I think it’s windy there because it’s close to the river. I don’t know. It’s not crazy windy like downtown Boston by the Prudential Building where you can’t even move sometimes because the wind blows so hard. That’s kinda fun actually, as long as you don’t have anywhere to be. Lol. Ash and the blonde walked side by side behind Ali, talking to each other and laughing about something. Until they got close to the intersection when Ash stopped her. She and the blonde – fuck, I have to start using her name, Whitney, walked in front of Ali after that so she could follow them and finish her phone call. She reached out and patted Ash’s side once she was behind her. It was sweet. And Ash looked good. She had some nice dark blue dress pants on and a white dress shirt but she had the sleeves rolled up to her elbows so you could see her tattoos. And a vest that matched the pants. She looked like a model. Oh she wore lots of jewelry too – about four rings and a big watch and then a couple of bracelets on her other wrist. And I love how she looks so butch but then wears perfect make-up, and shit! her earrings looked huge in her ears! but I think it’s just because she doesn’t have any hair there to cover them up. I don’t know. The ice was sparkling for sure. Ha ha ha. I think it’s cool how you can’t really classify either Ali or Ash as butch or femme. They’re both a little bit of both, at least as far as I can tell. I looked it up...soft butch or chapstick lesbian or even tomboi. Ali’s pretty femme, but then I saw some pictures of her coaching her kid’s soccer team and she’s hot as hell as a sporty dyke. Lol. But when she gets dressed up for work sometimes she’ll wear pants with her suit and I swear she can pull off the whole Bette Porter power lesbian thing from the L-word, no doubt about it. Same with Ash. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of her in a dress or a skirt but she wears make-up and is absolutely gorgeous. Seriously – her face is stunningly beautiful. She used to have really long blonde hair too and that was a really hot look. I’m not sure which hair I like better, honestly. Lol. She looked hot at lunch yesterday. They both did.

Anyway, I followed them from my side of the street and almost didn’t see where they went but there weren’t too many restaurants on that block so it wasn’t too hard to figure out where they were. I stood outside and pretended to look at the menu on the glass but I was really watching them and trying to take some pictures. They didn’t come out, of course, because of the reflection on the glass with the sun behind me but I tried. I forget to take pics sometimes when I get excited. They ordered and ate their salads – bo-ring, and it looked like they were having a serious conversation. Whitney took a phone call while they all sat together and Ali and Ash whispered to each other across the table during the call. Ash sat next to Whitney and I still can’t figure out who she’s closer to. She works more with Ali but then, when Ash is around, they always sit together or talk. I don’t know. I have lots of research to do. I think that’s what I’ll focus on this weekend. I’ve gotta get some backstory and figure out who’s who. I moved down the block farther and pretended to be typing into my phone when they left about 45 minutes later. This time Ash and Ali walked together and held hands. I took a picture of that because I was behind them, but so was the blonde so she kind of blocked my view. But they definitely held hands. It was really fucking cute. Edward and Janice wouldn’t hold hands after lunch. No fucking way. Ha! Ali and Ash have been married for 11 years – well it’ll be 12 this August. I can’t believe they still hold hands. Makes me wish I had someone to hold hands with.

 

May 15, 2029

Wow. What a night! I didn’t follow Ali all the way home like I planned (third time is the charm will have to wait, lol) but that’s ok because she didn’t go home. I was waiting in my car for the ride up to Gloucester but she went the other way instead of getting on the highway North. At first I thought she missed her exit but she drove into the city on purpose to meet some friends for dinner and drinks. I got so lucky because of the traffic. I never would have been able to follow her except the traffic was so bad it was easy to see where she was. I still crack up when I think about her in that stupid minivan. Ha ha ha ha ha. That’s pretty funny. She valet parked at a restaurant out near Symphony Hall and Northeastern. Hey, I just now realized that’s where she got her MBA from. I wonder if that’s why they went there? Anyway. It took me a while to park but I wasn’t too worried because I knew where she was. By the time I got into the restaurant she wasn’t in the waiting area anymore, which was good. I told the hostess I was meeting friends and looked at the menu while I scanned the dining room. I didn’t see her right away, but I heard her laugh. What a sound. :) And when I focused on where the laugh came from I saw her sitting at a round table with two other women. They were drinking wine and holding their menus and looked like they were really happy to see each other. I couldn’t tell who they were so after a few more minutes I told the hostess my friends were going to be late and asked to use the ladies room so I could get a different vantage point on the dining room. I had my phone camera ready, and on silent this time...fucking idiot...and I snapped some pics as I walked through the dining room on the way to the bathroom. One woman I recognized but I’m not sure from where. I’ve seen her in big group pictures on Ash’s Instagram. Ali doesn’t post very much so she doesn’t give me much to go on – which KILLS me. But Ash posts a lot and they’re always together so it’s almost just as good. I hope. The other woman was harder for me to place but I’ve seen her at both Breakers games so far. All three of them were dressed in business-y clothes: pant suits and skirt suits and stuff like that. The Breakers game woman is taller and has really big tits with light brown hair. She and her wife ?? I think it’s her wife? bring their daughter to the Breakers games and end up hanging out with Ali and Ash at some point, even if it’s just to hug hello and goodbye after the game. You can learn a lot watching the parking lot after those games if you wait around long enough. Lol.

So I’ve learned that Ali likes red wine. And this dinner was some sort of girls’ night or something because she was really close and familiar with both other women. I’m surprised Syd wasn’t there. Thank God her Instagram isn’t private, ha. And thank God Ash tagged her in a few posts so I could look her up. Between Ash and Syd I can keep tabs on Ali too. More research to do though – figure out who these two chicks are and what they mean to Ali and Ash. Why wasn’t Ash there? Well, besides the fact that somebody has to take care of the kids, lol. I wonder if Ash doesn’t do ladies’ nights? Hmmm...what does that mean? Oh I’m tired and wired and I should probably get some sleep. I convinced Edward and Janice to get me a real camera for my birthday. I told them I was taking a photography class in Cambridge so they’re not constantly hounding me about where I’m going and what I’m doing. It should be a good cover. I can also tell them I’m going out with friends from class too. And, the best part – besides the new fancy digital camera (thank you Daddy and Mommy!!) is that Edward wrote me a check to pay for the “class”. I can’t believe he’s that dumb but I’m thankful. Ha ha ha ha ha!!

 

May 19, 2029

It would be a lot easier to go to these stupid soccer games if I understood fucking soccer. Lol. Oh, right – football. What kind of dumb sport has two names anyway? No wonder I’m confused. I bought my season tickets, the cheapest seats I could get that still got me access to the VIP event with the players and the other Season Ticket Holders perks. My seat is across from the Krieger-Harris suite – fuck I hate doing that!! It’s Knight-Harris but it really should be Krieger. It’s always Krieger-Harris in my head. But my seat is kind of high up but with my new camera I can zoom in and get a pretty good look across the stadium. If Ash or Ali are out in the outdoor seats of the suite I have a great view of them. If they go indoors it’s harder to see and it depends on how much light is on behind the glass of the suite and how bright it is outside. Sometimes all I get is a stupid reflection and just some basic, like, movement behind the glass. But I can’t tell who anybody is or anything like that. 

They were both at the game tonight with all 4 kids. I learned from Ash’s IG that the twins just had their birthday last weekend. I went back and looked through years of her posts and found out the birthdays of the kids:  
Drew – May 27, 2019  
Josie – June 19, 2021  
Dodge & Lily – May 13, 2023

Ali carried both of the first two kids – I can totally see that and thank you Ash for taking pics of her when she was pregnant. Her tits got big and she looked really happy and beautiful. That stupid thing they always say about pregnant women ‘glowing’ used to annoy the shit out of me. Like, glowing glowing, like a fucking firefly?? Or more like they swallowed an actual lightbulb? For fuck’s sake. Stupid. But. But...Ali Krieger was a beautiful, glowing pregnant woman. That’s just a fact. Both times. And I still can’t believe it, even as I write it down in real ink...ASH carried the twins!!!!! What ???!!! I would never have guessed that in a million years. I just can’t picture her being pregnant. She didn’t post too many pictures of herself but Sydney had some and I found one of Ash’s friends from Florida on IG too – Liz something or other. She had a great picture of Ash pregnant. She looked beautiful too, but she looked like she was about to pop! I guess she got a lot of publicity for doing the world cup, or was it the Olympics? Fuck, I don’t remember, but she did the broadcast for the big tournament while the twins were only a couple of months old. There are stories about her breastfeeding them between her shifts on-camera. I saw a really cool photo of her celebrating a goal while she was actually breastfeeding one of the twins. It won some award or something for the photographer. What a badass. What a picture too. Ash, short badass hair, tattoos everywhere, nice outfit for the tv audience, her face was so full of excitement and happiness at whatever goal...and then there was this tiny baby attached to her tit. It was weird as fuck but totally cool. She’s got a lot of stuff on social media. I fall asleep every night to all the pictures of her life, of their life together...it’s amazing.

And Meg. I didn’t know who she was for a while but I think I’ve got it figured out now. Somebody on LChat wrote a whole description of the deal with Ash and her ex-girlfriend and the ex’s daughter – Meg. What a soap opera. Jesus. I still don’t get why Ash tried so hard to keep in touch with her ex’s little kid but she did. And they’re super close and Meg comes to visit as often as she can. She’s in high school now and, like, a really good goalie or whatever. Her birthday is March 8, 2012. Ash posted a pic of her junior prom the other day. Ha ha. Meg went with a bunch of her friends instead of any of them finding dates. I love it. Way to go Meg!! She’s tall and looks really athletic, but with big tits. I read somewhere that when you work out hard, like real athletes do, your tits shrink. I don’t understand why, but it seems to be true if you look at enough of these soccer players. Meg has big tits for a jock. She has cool red curly hair too, but her face is really plain. She’s not ugly or anything, but she’s not pretty either. It’s hard to describe. Plain is about the best I can do.

Oh, speaking of big tits! The tall woman with the big tits from ladies night is Sarah. Her wife is Erin and their daughter is Daphne. I did a big google search after figuring out their names and Sarah is an architect and Erin does, like, garden design or something. The other woman from ladies night was Molly Cross. She’s married to Niki Cross who is one of Ash’s best friends. They used to play soccer together – Ash and Niki. Molly and Niki live in Arlington and have a bunch of kids too. Next game I go to I’m gonna try and talk to Sarah or Erin. See what I can find out. Maybe I’ll bump into them in the bathroom line or the concession line or something. I’ve gotta try and learn some soccer stuff before then though.

 

May 23, 2029

I’ve been trying to check out the MHI down in the seaport district of Boston but it’s in a huge office building so I can’t just watch it like I can with K-H. Everybody in the K-H building is associated with K-H. But the MHI is only a few floors of this enormous office tower and there’s no chance of learning anything from just watching it. There’s a gatekeeper security guard in the lobby too so I can’t just go in and snoop around. I’m thinking of pretending to be suicidal, like just low-level so they don’t freak out or anything, so I can get inside and see what goes on in there. I don’t think Ali ever goes there though. It really seems to be Ash’s thing. I followed her there once, from K-H in the morning, but she parked in the parking garage and I lost her. Something else to work on.

And I feel like I’m getting so close to finding out where they live!! Somebody on LChat says they know their exact address but won’t give it out. Why the fuck would you tell us all that and then keep it to yourself??? Fucking bitch. I’ve followed them home a bunch of times now and I know it’s the last exit off of 128. Like, you just keep driving on 128 until it ends and then you’re in Gloucester, well, the North East part of Gloucester anyway. But I’m not sure where to go from there. I’m not sure if they live out by Eastern Point or up 127 towards Rockport or someplace on Atlantic Ave near Bass Rocks. But I’m pretty sure it’s in one of those areas. It has to be or else they’d get off at an earlier exit on the highway. And the best times to follow them home are after the Breakers games because they almost always go right home to put the kids to bed. I’ve followed Ali a bunch of times after work but she stops in different places and runs errands and shit like that. I lost her once in Target and I’m still mad about that. I didn’t really plan on following her in to the store itself but before I could really think about it, there I was, pushing a red cart up and down the aisles looking for her. I finally found her looking at kids clothes and talking on her phone – she’s on her phone a lot but I think it’s a lot of work stuff too. I don’t know but she’s on it a lot. I didn’t want to get too close so I gave her a little bit of space and then lost her. Man I was pissed. It was so fun though, watching her go about her regular day. She had another suit on, but without the jacket – she must have left it in the car – and her hair was up in a bun. It’s warmer now and she had a sleeveless blouse on and her arms looked sooooooo good. My arms are all flabby and we’re both 45 – well she’ll turn 45 in July and I just had my birthday yesterday. Close enough. 

She’s a Leo and I’m a Gemini and Ash is a Libra. My horoscope guide says Libra and Gemini make one of the 12 best matches for compatibility! The guide says that Leo’s best matches for overall compatibility are Aquarius and GEMINI. Yesssss!!! Lol. It says the description for Leo is: ‘People born under the sign of Leo are natural born leaders. They are dramatic, creative, self-confident, dominant and extremely difficult to resist, able to achieve anything they want to in any area of life they commit to. There is a specific strength to a Leo and their ‘king of the jungle’ status. Leo often has many fiends for they are generous and loyal. Self-confident and attractive, this is a Sun sign capable of uniting different groups of people and leading them as one towards a shared cause, and their healthy sense of humor makes collaboration with other people even easier. Leo belongs to the element of fire, just like Aries and Sagittarius. This makes them warmhearted, in love with life, trying to laugh and have a good time. Able to use their mind to solve even the most difficult problems, they will easily take initiative in resolving various complicated situations. Ruled by the Sun, Leo worships this fiery entity in the sky, quite literally as well as metaphorically. They are in search for self-awareness and in constant growth of ego. Aware of their desires and personality, they can easily ask for everything they need, but could just as easily unconsciously neglect the needs of other people in their chase for personal gain or status. When a Leo becomes too fond and attached to their achievements and the way other people see them, they become an easy target, ready to be taken down. The Fire sign is passionate and sincere and its representatives, like Leo, show their feelings with ease and clarity. When in love, they are fun, loyal, respectful and very generous towards their loved one. They will take the role of a leader in any relationship, and strongly rely on their need for independence and initiative. The life of each Leo is an adventure, fun and very energetic. Every Leo needs a partner to fight through their awareness and reach their sensitive, subconscious core, in order to find true satisfaction in a meaningful relationship.’

Wow. It says:  
‘Leo’s strengths are: creative, passionate, generous, warm-hearted, cheerful, humorous.  
Leo’s weaknesses are: arrogant, stubborn, self-centered, lazy, inflexible.  
Leo likes: theater, taking holidays, being admired, expensive things, bright colors, fun with friends.  
Leo dislikes: being ignored, facing difficult reality, not being treated like a king or queen.’

Ash is a Libra and it says her best matches for overall compatibility are Aries and Sagittarius. ‘People born under the sign of Libra are peaceful, fair, and they hate being alone. Partnership is very important for them, as their mirror and someone giving them the ability to be the mirror themselves. These individuals are fascinated by balance and symmetry, they are in a constant chase for justice and equality, realizing through life that the only thing that should be truly important to themselves is their own inner core of personality. This is someone ready to do nearly anything to avoid conflict, keeping the peace whenever possible. The sign of Libra is an Air sign, set between Gemini and Aquarius, giving these individuals constant mental stimuli, strong intellect and a keen mind. They will be inspired by good books, insurmountable discussions and people who have a lot to say. Each Libra has to be careful when talking to other people, for when they are forced to decide about something that is coming their way, or to choose sides, they suddenly realize that they might be in the wrong place and surrounded by wrong people. No partner should make them forget that they have their own opinion. The planet ruling Libra is Venus, making these people great lovers but also fond of expensive, material things. Their lives need to be enriched by music, art, and beautiful places they get a chance to visit. Libra is the sign of marriage, making its representatives open for traditional pathways of love. Once they start a romantic relationship, maintaining peach and harmony become the most important thing and their primary goal. Their charming personality and their dedication to each relationship makes their compatibility with others satisfying. Libra is a sign deeply connected to sexuality for Scorpio rises where it ends. They search for deep, meaningful relationships and although they don’t have trouble relating with people they aren’t really close to, the only true satisfaction in their love life comes from complete surrender of body and soul.

Libra’s strengths are: cooperative, diplomatic, gracious, fair-minded, social.  
Libra’s weaknesses are: indecisive, avoids confrontations, will carry a grudge, self-pity.  
Libra likes: harmony, gentleness, sharing with others, the outdoors.  
Libra dislikes: violence, injustice, loudmouths, conformity.’

They are compatible, Ali and Ash. Leo and Libra. That’s good. I just want them to be happy. They sure look happy. I wonder whose idea it was to have four kids! Ha ha ha.

So, sticking with the horoscope theme for a minute, that would make the kids...  
Drew – Gemini  
Josie – Gemini, but right on the cusp with Cancer  
Dodge & Lily – Taurus

Wow, that’s a lot of information to take in and process. I have to rethink some things. I didn’t follow my horoscope before, but I’ve gotten into it more lately. It’s pretty interesting. And it can be really accurate too. Like, I kind of thought Ash was the more dominant one but it definitely reads like Ali would be the boss in their family life. I wonder how accurate that whole thing is? My horoscope has always been pretty accurate with this guide – at least for the past year or so, and it describes me to a T as a Gemini. I don’t know. I wonder how bossy Ali is with Ash in the bedroom...that’s a fun thing to think about. :)

 

June 4, 2029

Victory!!!! I did it! I finally found their house! Ali drove straight home from work this afternoon and I still can’t fucking believe it!! What a rush!!!

6 Beach Rd. Take that, motherfuckers!!! 

God that feels good. I worked so hard on that and it feels really fucking good to achieve a goal like that. Now I can start to figure out their daily schedule here at the house while Ali’s at the office. Like, what school do the kids go to? Who takes care of them until Ali gets home? Or Ash? Ash is never at K-H late and I’ve just assumed that she goes to the MHI in the afternoons or something. Kind of like how Whitney goes to the law office in Kendall Square every afternoon. But maybe Ash goes back to the house and does mom stuff in the afternoons? What an idea! I know it’s dumb but sometimes I can’t picture her as the mommy. It’s stupid but she just doesn’t look like a mommy. Lol. I wonder how the kids’ classmates see her? Do they even know she’s famous? Does she, like, go to PTA meetings and bake cookies for the bake sale at school??? Wow. My mind is just blown. But seeing the house, with their cars in the driveway and the kids bikes and toys and crap everywhere...it was all just so...domestic. It’s hard for me to picture them like that. I’ve seen them with their kids at the Breakers games and they both do all of the parenting stuff. I’ve seen Ash take the kids out of the suite - to the bathroom, I’m assuming. And I’ve seen Ali do the same. I’ve watched them get the kids something to eat and help them cut it up and sometimes even feed it to them. I’m sure they both changed diapers and did the midnight feedings and stuff. At least I think that’s how they would be. But that’s what’s so cool about finally knowing where their house is. Now I can start to learn all of that stuff. I can see that private side of them with the family and the dogs. I can’t wait!!!

 

June 6, 2029

East Gloucester Elementary School  
8 Davis St.  
Gloucester, MA 01930

Boom. I didn’t get there early enough yesterday so I missed them leaving the house, but I made it today. I’ve gotta start going to bed earlier if I’m gonna keep doing this getting up at 5am shit. One more piece to the puzzle. All four kids go there which makes my life a little easier. Yay!!

 

June 14, 2029

Alright, after 6 school days’ worth of watching... the kids get dropped off between 8:15 and 8:30am. Ali usually does it on her way to K-H but Ash did it once and I don’t know why. Then Ash comes and gets them in her Jeep SUV at 2:20pm. But they don’t all get out of school at the same time. Ash hangs out or plays with the little kids for a little while before the oldest...Drew, comes out and then they all leave.

And holy shit, do they go do things after school! Well, they did last week but this week they don’t have so many other places to go. Maybe because it’s close to the end of school? I looked it up and they get out on 6-20 so it makes sense that the after-school activities are wrapping up. I don’t know. Lol. I never paid much attention to what little kids did! Damn, they do a lot. I keep trying to remember what I did when I was in 4th grade and 2nd grade and kindergarten and I have no fucking idea. Ha ha ha. Ash shows up wearing either the clothes she had on like when she goes to K-H which tells me she came to get them right from Boston or Cambridge. Or else she comes wearing shorts and flip flops and totally casual clothes because she changed first at home. It’s so hot this week. I do remember that. I remember sweating my ass off at the end of school because there was never any air conditioning. I hated that.

Fucking Janice grilled me last night about where I was going so early in the morning and I tried not to laugh in her face. I’ve been leaving the house early for over a month now and she’s just noticed this week. Fucking idiot. She also asked about me losing weight. Instead of complimenting me on dropping 11 pounds she basically accused me of not taking my pills. She’s right but I wasn’t gonna tell her that. I told her I was working out with one of my friends from photography class and swore I was still taking both my carbatrol and my risperdal. She couldn’t argue with me when I asked her if I seemed alright. She had to say yes because I’ve been happier and better this past month than I have been in years. She had to agree with me. But I have to be careful because now I know she’s watching me. I’m not stopping what I’m doing though. I’m having fun and I’m out of my room almost every single day and I haven’t done that since...I don’t know – way too fucking long. I feel like I’m living again and I won’t let her, or anyone, stop me.

 

June 19,2029

Happy Birthday Josie Krieger! She turned 8 today and it was a great day. Both Ali and Ash came to K-H together this morning which is the first time they’ve done that since I’ve been doing this. And there were no surprises for me today either because I knew Ashlyn was going to be at the fan event at the stadium from 10am to 1pm and Ali even went with her so they were both in the same place! I followed them to the stadium just to watch but then didn’t see them again until the signing event started. I stood in line and got my season ticket holder bracelet and then almost panicked when it was my turn to get their autographs. It was Ash and whoever the latest greatest Breaker player is – I don’t even remember her name. All I could see and hear was Ash. I’ve watched so many of her videos online and heard all of her interviews, and listened to her at the Newlywed game thing, and I knew her voice was higher than it should be when you matched it with the tattoos and the tough exterior of her body. She’s got a really feminine voice and when I heard it, live, with my own ears while she talked to the girl in front of me, I started to hyperventilate a little bit. But I wasn’t going to screw it up by flaking out. I got the poster signed by whatever her name is and didn’t say anything when she said hi to me. Then I slid the poster over to Ash and I swear to God it felt like all the breath left my body in one big rush when she looked up at me and said hi. 

I’ve read how good she is to her fans and I wasn’t skeptical, but I just thought the stories had been exaggerated. Holy fuck! She looks at you like she really sees you. I felt like...like, I don’t know how to explain it. She smiled up at me and it was amazing. All I could do was smile back. I think I might have blushed too. What a fucking idiot I am. But I was too stunned to even be embarrassed. She asked me if I was there with a kid and I shook my head no. Then she saw my bracelet and thanked me for being a season ticket holder. Then they sort of shuffled us along and I took my signed poster and went over to the table with the small bottles of water and cookies on it and tried to get my heart to slow down. Holy fucking shit!!! I still can’t believe it happened. Her eyes are beautiful. Not as beautiful as Ali’s, but wow. I hung out there until they made us leave. Ash and the other player had gone back to the locker room just after 1pm but they let us stay until about 1:30pm. I went back to my car and waited for Ali and Ash to come out of the players’ parking lot for a long time but they never did. I don’t know if I missed them or what. But I finally just drove up to the house to check in on the kids. I don’t even remember the drive. Ha ha ha. Kind of in a daze there for a while.

Josie’s birthday was cute. They had some people over for cake and a cookout in the backyard. The street is quiet but there’s lots of foot traffic on it because the beach is down at the end of the street. People park all the way at the church parking lot at the other end of their street and then walk down to the beach. They do the same thing on all of the streets there – I think there are four or five of them like that. But if I live park in the car I can stay there for a while. One of the neighbors came and knocked on my window once and I lied and told them I was thinking of buying the house across from Ash and Ali’s – there was a ‘for sale’ sign on it so I just went with it. I explained that I was checking out the neighborhood to see how loud and busy it was and that she would probably be seeing me a lot. She hasn’t bothered me again. But that excuse won’t work for too much longer. I’m gonna have to find better places to blend in so I can watch longer. The houses aren’t that close together but they’re not a mile apart from each other either. Tomorrow I’m going to check out the other streets on either side of Beach Rd and see if there’s like a shed or something that might be out of the way and not used. I’m also gonna look at the house for sale. It looks a little rundown. Maybe I can get inside it? There’s also some woods next to Ali and Ash’s house and I might be able to hide in there somewhere. It’s not like a forest or anything, but it’s pretty thick woods and the trees all have their leaves now so it might work. If I have to stop watching at the house until it gets dark I can do that, but that would really piss me off. 

 

June 25, 2029

So I finally figured out The Academy. There’s a whole website with pretty much everything I ever wanted to know about it, but I just haven’t had the chance to look into it too much yet. It officially opened for the 8-week soccer camp yesterday and Ash went up for it. It’s in Greenfield, NH near Greenfield State Park. The weeks start Sunday afternoon and end Thursday afternoon and it’s for girls ages 9 – 14 with some advanced teams coming in for the last two weeks. Ash and Whitney started it together and all kinds of famous soccer players come every summer to help coach at it. Mia fucking Hamm! Even I know who she is! It looks pretty cool. Ali coaches sometimes too and her dad does too. Ken. Kenny with a K. Good ol’ Ken. A lot of their friends coach there and the damned thing is sold out for, like, 5 years out. When it’s not used in the summer for the soccer camps, you can go and rent a cabin or whatever and just enjoy the camp. They have a whole bunch of weekends blocked off for kids to come up as part of an underprivileged program. That’s pretty cool too. I thought about volunteering for one of those but I’m too busy right now with this stuff. Maybe after I finish this I can look into that more. I always used to like summer camp. I remember swimming in the lake and singing campfire songs and roasting marshmallows. Those were some good times. Why the fuck don’t I have good times like that anymore? 

 

June 28, 2029

Ok, so there’s some sort of half-assed treehouse or something in the woods next to Ash and Ali’s house. I went there last night when it was good and dark and poked around the neighborhood a little bit. The house for sale across the street is definitely empty but all of the first-floor windows and doors were locked. There’s a detached garage next to it, at the top of the driveway, just like Ash and Ali have, and I might be able to climb on top of that if I need to. I’m so fucking happy my weight is coming down some. I’m 182lbs now and it’s all from not taking the pills and just being more active. I should really thank Ali and Ash for that. Ha ha. But I’m not as heavy so I can do some more things like climb up a step ladder and get onto a roof if I need to. I hope I can climb up into that treehouse. That’s the next test. I have no idea what the inside of their house layout is but the treehouse is on the left side of the house. Most of the activity I can see when I watch from the street, or sometimes the driveway of the ‘for sale’ house, is always on the right side of the house, by the driveway. So the treehouse might just be a big waste of time. But it might be good too. I won’t know until I get up there and look. I wonder how sturdy it is? Maybe I should get some night-vision goggles! Do those things really work? So many questions. It’s exciting though. I feel like I’m getting closer all the time. It feels good.

 

June 30, 2029

Finally another Breakers game. They’ve been on the road for the past few weeks but they’ve got a 3-game homestand that started tonight. Look at me, picking up the lingo like that. Ha ha ha. I sound like a regular soccer fan! I spent some time over near the concessions and bathrooms near the K-H suite and was lucky enough to see Erin, the garden lady, take her daughter to the ladies room. I followed them in and waited in line with them and talked to them for about 10 minutes. Erin likes soccer about as much as I do – at least she said originally. She said she’s grown to really love it now though. I asked her how she got started with the team and she said through her wife. So that means Sarah is the one with the connection to Ash or Ali, which is good to know. I made the mistake of asking about the flower on the kid’s shirt and then we talked about gardening and the lack of green spaces in the city for the rest of the time. But she was nice and easy to talk to. That’s always a plus. I’ll definitely be seeing her again. 

 

July 1, 2029

I am so fucking pissed right now that I can barely hold this pen in my hand. Fucking cock-sucker Edward and bitch Janice made me go with them to Auntie Ruth’s house today for a 4th of July barbecue with the whole fucking family. I told them I wanted to go to the Horribles Parade up in Gloucester with my friend from photography class but they told me that I had no choice. Fucking held the fact that I’m still living in their house with them over my head like I owed them something for it. Fucking assholes. I don’t have to live here. I could go find a place of my own. Maybe I will. Maybe I just will!

Aaarrgggghh!!!!! And then when I check social media tonight, ASH AND ALI WERE AT THE HORRIBLES PARADE!!!!!! I still can’t believe it! It was the perfect opportunity and I fucking missed it because of my douchebag parents. GOD AM I FURIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could have disappeared in the crowd the whole damned day and followed them around. Oh it would have been perfect!! Sometimes I think about what it would be like if Edward and Janice weren’t around anymore. They’re fucking lucky I don’t go upstairs and slit their fucking throats tonight after making me miss Ali and Ash today. God I have to calm myself down. I can feel my heart racing and it’s hard to breathe. I might have to take a Risperdal...fuck them for making me weak. Fuck them for making me miss the parade. Fuck them for always getting in my way. Fuck them!!!

 

July 4, 2029

I took a risk and it paid off, big-time. After the disaster that was Sunday, I spent a lot of time on Ash’s IG and found out her family is visiting! Her sister-in-law posts lots of pics of the kids and that’s how I found out. One of her friends asked her in the comments what they were doing for the 4th after all the great pics from the Horribles parade I MISSED!!! Grrrrrr... Anyway, deep deep breath. The sister-in-law said they were gonna chill at the beach. I hoped that meant Ash and Ali would be coming to the beach too with the kids so I got there early and got a spot sort of in the middle of the beach. I paid to park in the parking lot and dragged a beach chair and a cooler over to my spot and set myself up for the day. It was hot as fuck and the beach filled up really fast. I hate the fucking beach. I hate it more than almost anything else. It makes me feel hot and fat and ugly and sweaty and uncomfortable. I hate being barefoot but you have to be at the beach or you get sand in your shoes. It’s just so fucking annoying. Everything about it. 

But in the end it was all worth it. Some member of Ash’s family was at the beach almost the entire day. And Ash was there a lot too. Ali not as much but she came down a few times. The most exciting thing of all was seeing them in their bathing suits! They both have tattoos and it was great to see the one on Ali’s side instead of just the one on her arm. It’s huge and covers her whole left side – The Little Prince... Didn’t see her little Penn State one though. Maybe her suit covered it up. I can’t imagine she had it removed? Nah, that really meant a lot to her. Ash has more tattoos than I realized too. But she likes to show hers off and if she doesn’t post about them then the tattoo artist does so I’ve ‘seen’ all of hers before online. But to see them in person was pretty cool. Ash wears short boardshorts with a bikini top for her beach wear. Ha ha ha. She looks really good for 43 and having popped out twins! I’ve seen pics from her playing days when she was really in shape and it’s not like that now, but she’s still looking really really good. 

Ali looked amazing. I think I might have cried a little bit when I saw her in her bathing suit. It was a one-piece, aqua-melon color that was really vibrant, and it had straps that crossed diagonally over her back. It was low-cut in the front but in a normal neckline, nothing too deep or plungey, and the bottom cut came up high but not above her hips. There was an off-white swirly pattern covering the chest area to give it a little definition and decoration but it was a pretty simple suit. I forgot how flat-chested she was until I saw her in that suit. Lol. She must wear a push-up bra or something because she always looks like she has tits, even just small ones, when she’s wearing her work blouses. She looked fucking gorgeous. 

She played on some tiny little surf board things with the kids for a while and then took a couple of the girls to the bathroom. She stayed for about two hours and then walked back up the street to the house with another woman family member or friend. I don’t know. There were so many people there today it was incredible that I even spotted them at all. I decided to watch the footbridge from the bottom of Beach Rd to the beach itself. That was the narrowest point of entry from the direction of the house so it made the most sense. Sometimes I’m pretty damned smart (pat myself on the back, thank you very much).

They all went away for some time, eating dinner at the house I guess. Then they all came back around 7pm when there were way less people there. They close and lock the restrooms and showers at 6pm and then chain up the parking lot gates at 9pm so there were still a bunch of us there. We were just more spread out, and there were fewer kids I guess. Ash, Ali and the whole family or group – I saw Syd and Kyle and Ali’s mom too, along with some other familiar faces from Instagram – posed for some group pictures. They had cover-ups and t-shirts on over their suits this time and it looked like some had changed into regular clothes already. Kyle took the photos – he had his tripod and timer set up and everything. Lol. He’s another great follow on IG if you can stomach his dumb, naked photos. Idiot. Anyway, after a little bit Ali and her dad started to walk down the beach and another woman joined them – maybe Ken’s wife? I don’t really know, but Ken turned around and let the two of them walk on together. It looked like a pretty serious conversation. Ash was talking and laughing with a guy who I think must be her brother but it was hard to tell. He looked like the guy in the sister-in-law’s pictures, only a little thinner. Anyway, it was amazing. I felt, maybe only for a minute now and then, but I felt kinda like I was a member of the family. It felt nice.

 

July 9, 2029

I totally forgot that Ali was coaching at The Academy this week! I got distracted doing all the family research from the visit and all of that stuff. Ash really has a lot of stuff online. It’s awesome. I’ve watched all of her travelogues that she did for GoPro when she would take those trips with somebody famous and film them. Or was Suburu the sponsor for those? I don’t remember, lol. But she talks a lot about her life in those if you can listen for it. Really good stuff. Anyway, I waited and waited at K-H this morning to see Ali pull in but she never did. I knew the kids were out of school and I was starting to freak out a little bit so I went online and saw Ash posted a pic of her, Ali, and the twins having breakfast at the camp this morning. I feel like an idiot that I forgot. I’m gonna have to make a calendar so I can remember stuff like this again. I went to Starbuck’s and wrote Ali a letter instead. Anonymously, of course. It was nice and cool in there. It’s hot as hell this week. I bought some stamps and mailed it from the post office in Kendall Square. I just told her how impressed I was with her achievements. That article in the BU magazine was only half of it. She’s got some stuff on Northeastern’s website about how she started K-H basically from nothing and built it from the ground up while getting her MBA. I had to look up what that was. MBA. I had no fucking clue. But it’s hard to get. I feel like Ash gets all the attention and is the famous one but Ali does all the hard work. It doesn’t seem fair and I want her to get some credit for it. I might send her a little bracelet I saw the other day that I think she’ll like. Maybe I can drop it off. I’ll have to think about that.

Tomorrow I’ll go up to The Academy and see what I can find out. It’s supposed to be next to a state park so maybe I can go to the state park and get a good look into the camp. I have no idea how it’s all laid out up there. I know how the camp is set up because they have maps all over their website and there are hiking trails and lots and lots of woods and places to be...discreet. This could be really good. I wonder where Drew and Josie are?

 

July 11, 2029

My nightvision goggles came in! Just in time too. Those fucking woods up there are dark. No joke. And I’ve gotta wear better shoes and bring some fucking bug spray. Fucking mosquitoes ate me alive last night. But the good news is I found the cabin that they’re staying in up in the section of staff cabins. Those hiking trails are excellent for moving around without being seen. And I’m lucky their son is so fucking loud! Ha ha ha. He makes it lots easier to find them. Once it’s dark nobody can see anything up there in the woods but I’ll be able to with these babies! They were expensive but I think they’ll be worth it. I can use them back in Gloucester from the treehouse too. That thing might just be the death of me though. Ha ha ha. The floor of it is done, or at least most of it is. It seems really secure and I held onto the tree for dear life and jumped on it a bunch of times and it didn’t even move. So that’s good. But the ladder is just some wood blocks nailed into the tree! It’s hard to get up and down with those but oh well. The best news is that I can see into the second-floor windows from there! So far, starting at the back of the house and moving up to the front of the house, I think the windows are two in the master bedroom (thank you very much), master bathroom, kid bedroom, bathroom, kid bedroom. There are two more up on the third floor too, but I can’t see into them unless I climb way up high and I’m not fucking doing that. I don’t think I am anyway.

I’m starting to get a little pissed at Ash. I started a separate IG account so I can tell her how I really feel about her. She’s really taking advantage of Ali I think. She doesn’t really work, at least not that I can tell. She goes to ‘meetings’ at K-H and sometimes at the MHI. Big fucking deal. What does that even mean? She uses her fame and that’s basically it. Ali does all the hard work. She’s the one driving into Cambridge every day and running the business. She probably runs the MHI and The Academy for Ash too. It wouldn’t surprise me. I don’t know. Sometimes Ash posts stuff and I feel like she should give Ali credit for it. She’s done interviews where she admitted that Ali runs the household and makes their schedules for them and keeps everybody going to the right place at the right time. It just doesn’t seem fair. I really liked Ash too. But now...I just don’t know.

 

July 13, 2029

Whoa. I never thought... wow. I never thought I’d see Ali and Ash actually doing anything together when I started all of this. How could that possibly happen? I’d be an idiot to think I might see them kissing or something like that. I don’t mean the public stuff. They kiss each other on the cheek and peck each other on the lips all the time in their everyday life. But two nights ago, Wednesday night, I was in the woods watching their cabin at The Academy. It was pretty late and I was getting ready to leave because they had already put the two kids to bed and then Ash had left the cabin for an hour and come back and I thought that was going to be it for the night. But then, about 30 minutes after Ash came back they both came out onto the porch of the cabin and sat on the swing there together. I’ve seen the kids sitting there and swinging before or maybe one of them with the kids but never both of them together before, and never at night. The chains were squeaky on the swing so they stopped swinging – I could hear it from where I was which was a good 60 feet away, that’s how loud it was. The rest of the staff cabins were pretty quiet and only a couple of them had lights on. It was almost 11:30pm and Ali and Ash had been in the cabin with all the lights out before this time the other night I was up there. Anyway, I zoomed in with my goggles and had a good view of them from the side. Ash and her big head were in the way of me seeing Ali, but I knew it was her – who else could it be? I couldn’t hear anything but I think they were talking for a few minutes and then they hugged and that’s when I saw her face. I saw Ali clear as a bell when they hugged and her head was on Ash’s shoulder. Then they started kissing! I still can’t believe it. It started with a quick kiss and I thought they were gonna get up and go inside. But then they kept kissing and it kept going and they moved closer together and the swing squeaked again. But they didn’t stop. They kissed a lot for about 20 minutes and I couldn’t see Ash’s hands, but Ali’s were on Ash’s back and up at her neck. She rubbed her hand up and down her back and kept her other hand right up at Ash’s neck, playing with her hair. It got pretty intense and I can’t lie – I enjoyed it a whole lot. Lol. Whew! I wish I had a better angle so I could see more, but there was no question about what they were doing. They finally stopped and leaned their heads together for a couple of minutes and then got up and went inside the cabin. I had to sit there for a while to get a grip again. Ha ha ha. It was hot and awesome and I took some pics but I doubt they’ll come out. Maybe.

But then last night was even better! I was so tired from the late night Wednesday night that I didn’t go up to the Academy yesterday at all. I just waited until Thursday afternoon and went up to Gloucester to see what was going on. It was really busy with lots of coming and going. They got home at, like, 6pm and then Ali’s mom came over and they had another little girl with them which I thought was really weird at first. But then I realized it was Ash’s niece. She must have gone to the soccer camp with them. I never saw her with them at their cabin but if she was a camper, like, attending the camp, she probably stayed in one of the camper cabins. Anyway, when it got dark I climbed up into the treehouse and watched the side of the house. They eat together at a table in the back corner of that side of the house, almost all of their meals. At night, after the kids are in bed, the grown-ups hang out in the tv room on that side of the house too. Sometimes it’s Ali or Ash or Ali’s mom or all three of them. They use the door on that side of the house to let the dog in and out. I think they only have one dog now. The lighter-colored one hasn’t been there at all. I’ll have to go back and look into that too. 

Then, upstairs, the bedroom at the front of the house is Josie’s. I can’t see inside the window except to get a slight view of the front wall of that bedroom because of the angle I’m at in the tree. But the walls are pink. Lol. Lots of pink. And the bedroom between the two bathrooms is Lily’s room. I can see in that window better and it’s definitely Lily’s room. The bathroom between Lily’s room and the master bedroom is the master bathroom and that shutter is almost always closed but I saw Ash brushing her teeth one night before Ali came in and closed the shutters down. It’s a small window so it was hard to get a good look inside. But the two windows in the master bedroom are awesome. Ali shuts those pretty quickly too but tonight, for whatever reason, the shutters weren’t closed all the way and I could see inside the bedroom! My heart is racing again as I write this all down. I still can’t believe it. I saw the bedroom light go on and then Ash came over and closed the shutters on both windows. Then she went into the master bathroom, turned the light on, and closed those shutters too. It was around 10pm which is bedtime for them sometimes but usually they stay downstairs til closer to 11pm. I was about to give up and climb down so I could head home but then I saw movement in the bedroom and I realized that I could still see through the one shutter! Ali must have come into the room and the motion caught my eye. I put the goggles back into place and zoomed in on the one window and sure enough – I saw Ali go to the other side of the room and take her shirt off. It was a crappy view, way more shutter than Ali, but I could definitely see what was going on. She was about to take her bra off when Ash came up behind her and hugged her. This time they did turn sideways for me so I could see them both - a very limited view. 

They were facing each other and hugging and then Ali kissed Ash and Ash moved her hands down to Ali’s butt and they started making out again. Two nights in a row I watched this!!!!! Oh my fucking God! I can’t believe I don’t have anybody to tell about this. I finally get why people share this stuff online – they just have to tell somebody! Anyway, they keep kissing and Ali moves her hands to Ash’s tits and then they stop and Ash pulls her shirt over her head so they’re both standing there in their bras! Ash had a black sports bra on and Ali had a tan regular bra on. It was so hot! Ash finally undid Ali’s bra while they were making out again but before I could see anything they were gone. Ash pushed Ali backwards which must have been where the bed was and I didn’t see anything else. I tried too. Trust me when I tell you. Lol. I waited for a long time, almost peed myself to be honest. I now know that they fuck with the lights on. That’s new info – ha ha ha. But after a while, the lights went out and then the bathroom light went out too and there was nothing else. But holy fucking shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I must be the only person alive who’s seen them starting to have sex. I can’t fucking believe it. I want to hug and kiss whoever built this piece of shit treehouse because they just made my life complete.


	11. Treehouse

“Ow, goddamit!!” Ashlyn pulled the hammer back and winced in pain one Saturday morning towards the end of June.

“Uh oh, Mama said a bad word” Lily giggled from her spot at the bottom of the big tree in the empty lot next to the big old house.

“Does dammit actually count as a bad word here still?” Niki chuckled as she looked down at Ashlyn from one of the two strong branches of the tree they were building a treehouse in. “I’d be putting money in the swear jar all the damned time” she laughed at the eye roll her friend gave her as she sucked hard on her thumb.

“Dammit is a lot less expensive than other options” Ashlyn mumbled as she spoke with her thumb still in her mouth.

Ashlyn and Niki had decided that the empty lot was just crying out for a treehouse. All of the kids in both families thought it was an excellent idea and so the project was begun back in April when Niki’s schedule wasn’t as busy, during Boston College women’s soccer off-season. The plan was for it to be a very simple structure with a floor and some open-spaced walls with a roof on top. They found the perfect tree and Ashlyn thought it was a sign that they hadn’t had it cut down years earlier when they cleared some of the trees out of the way on the near side of the empty lot where the kids liked to sled down the hill. It was the one big tree that they left behind, down near the bottom of the sledding slope usually was. It was a beautiful big old maple tree with a an 18” trunk that rose up to about 9’ before branching off into two smaller, but still sturdy, 12” limbs, causing a ‘v’ where they met. That ‘v’ was the base of the treehouse and the structure rose about 5’ higher including the very slightly sloped roof on top. It wasn’t fancy. Ashlyn and Niki were both dead set against building (or buying) one of those big fancy treehouses that had actual windows in them and were tall enough for a grown, adult person to stand up inside. Nope. The treehouse they were building was a shout out to the treehouses both women had known and loved growing up as girls back in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Niki’s uncle had built she and her siblings and cousins a treehouse and it had been perfect in its simplicity. Niki modeled this one after that and she and Ashlyn set to work building it. The project became a family event with Noah Cross accompanying his mother whenever his busy sports schedule would allow it. Before long, Evan Cross was tagging along as well and after the third ‘treehouse building’ visit, the whole Cross family came along to help. 

As it had been with Ali’s office back when that was under construction, Ashlyn was an excellent assistant but she was definitely not the carpentry expert. She knew just enough to be dangerous and freely admitted it. Niki drew out what the plans were and they decided together what kind of wood to use for which parts of the structure and why. By the end of April they were ready to start building it, finally. Niki told Ashlyn she was as bad as the kids when it came to whining about how long the planning part took. The keeper couldn’t deny it. She was excited to build the treehouse and couldn’t wait to get started. 

“I know Nik” Ashlyn hung her head, slightly embarrassed. 

“Well as long as you know” Niki chuckled and gave her friend a good-natured shove as they sat side by side up in the keeper’s studio, at the big work table. Ashlyn’s stool rolled a few inches away as a light blush crept up her cheeks. “Aw, it’s alright. I’m glad you’re excited about it. That just means there’s a really good chance you’ll actually help me build it” she laughed again and pulled the stool back towards her, hooking her foot under the footstep rung halfway up the stool.

Ashlyn helped by pulling herself with her hand on the flat surface of the table, lifting her eyes and grinning at her old friend.

“I never had one when I was growing up” she admitted shyly. “I always wanted one.”

The Crosses and Kriegers spent as many hours a weekend on it as they could throughout the months of May and June. It worked out to be approximately a half day or three quarters of a day each weekend so it was slow going for a while. And having the kids help was great but it made everything go that much slower too. Ashlyn and Niki both wanted it completed before the 4th of July because Ashlyn was going to the EUROs right after that and then Niki would be in the thick of preseason training camp with the BC soccer team when the keeper returned from Israel. After a couple of extended evening building sessions in the semi-dark, the treehouse was structurally sound but not quite finished. The plan was to build a couple of benches for inside it and a real ladder to climb up and into it. But for the time being, at the end of June, those two things were going to have to wait. The temporary wood blocks that had been nailed into the tree and used as a climbing ladder would have to do until Niki, or Ashlyn, had time to build a proper one.

All in all, it had been a really good experience for everybody involved. The Dwyers and Flanagans helped out when they came to visit as well so the whole four-family group felt like they had contributed to the first treehouse among their families. Part of the reason Niki was so willing to help was that her own backyard was so small and didn’t have anything close to a suitably sized tree for a treehouse. It was a great solution for both Niki and Ashlyn and all the kids benefitted. 

There had only been a couple of injuries during the construction. Noah, a tree-climbing monkey who really enjoyed carpentry and had Niki and Molly thinking he might take after Niki’s uncle and go into that trade when he was older, was working on the roof shingles and accidentally dropped his hammer. The hammer narrowly missed Dodge who was hopping around the base of the tree, dying to be involved but being too young to do much of the actual hammering in the precarious tree branches. But Noah had ripped up the skin on his side as he launched himself across the half-shingled roof to try and grab the hammer before it rolled off the edge. Niki was right there to grab her son by the toolbelt secured around his waist and stop him from tumbling after the hammer. They were lucky a raw, scraped-up side and arm was the only injury out of that incident. Noah was punished by being stuck on ground crew duty for the rest of the construction – not for dropping his hammer, which was a serious thing for a carpenter to do, but for being foolish enough to try and catch it afterwards. That was a terrible decision no matter which way you looked at it and very worthy of the punishment. Noah, 13-1/2 years old and growing like crazy, knew he had messed up and didn’t even complain about ground crew. When he got upset with himself about it he would take it out on his younger brother Evan instead. Drew was safe from Noah’s pinches and pokes and hits down on the ground because he had been promoted to take his place up in the actual treehouse with Niki and Ashlyn. 

The only other near-miss injury was during one of the evening sessions at the end of June. Ashlyn and Niki and Noah and Drew were the only workers still out – Ali and Molly’s rule that only kids 10 years and older could be part of the late shift on the treehouse. Everybody else had to come inside and get cleaned up and ready for bed and the Cross’ trip home. The treehouse crew was working diligently as it got darker and darker. It got increasingly difficult to see the boards Drew was handing up to Noah and then up to one of the two women higher in the tree. Niki was out on one of the limbs of the tree, straddling it while she worked on one of the support pieces they wanted to get finished before calling it quits that evening. Ashlyn was leaning out over the edge of the floor of the treehouse, holding the support secure so Niki could nail it in place. All of a sudden, the motion sensor lights came on and startled Niki so badly that she lost her balance and almost fell out of the tree. Ashlyn managed to drop to her belly and stretch out one arm so Niki could grab it and hold on until she regained her balance again.

“What the fuck?!” the coach yelled hoarsely, her breathing heavy and rapid from the fright.

“Shit, I forgot about the lights” Ashlyn grunted back as Niki steadied herself with the keeper’s arm.

Neither of them saw Noah and Drew exchange wide eyes and giggles at the F-bomb Niki had so loudly dropped and the S-word Ashlyn had added in her worried response.

“What the fuck do you have lights for in the empty lot?” Niki demanded, still breathless. 

“We had some trouble with some of the older kids hanging out and doing who knows what” the keeper explained and then remembered the two boys below them. “Uhh, and it’s just really for safety. We should have had them on so we could see out here tonight.”

“Well next time, warn me, would ya?” Niki grumbled as she got back into position. “Let’s finish this so we can get going home. Molly’s probably pissed.”

Ashlyn swallowed the laugh that had been about to leave her mouth, knowing it would just make Niki mad. But it wasn’t easy. Niki had been the only one who didn’t think it was funny and the keeper tried hard not to make her friend feel worse. 

“That looks great you guys” Ali called up to the two women who were putting the final few shingles on the roof of the treehouse Saturday morning, June 30th.

“It’s not really done yet” Drew beamed at his Mommy who walked over and put her arm across his shoulders while they both looked up into the tree. “After Mama comes back from her trip we’ll do the benches...”

“And the ladder too” Niki winked down at the brunette. “Until then you’ll just have to make do” she smiled as she started to climb down and drop herself into one of the open sides of the structure. 

The walls were really only half-walls that went up about 30”. They were open above that up to the top of the wall where it met the roof. There was lots of wide open, fresh air on three sides with one wall, facing the back of the empty lot, being completely solid except for one narrow slit that they had cut into it horizontally as a lookout. The floor was solid but there was a hole near the base of the tree so you could lower yourself through it and then climb down the ladder to the ground. There was a hatch on a hinge to cover the hole once you were up in the treehouse. Both Ashlyn and Ali were worried enough about the idea of Dodge Krieger bouncing around the inside of that treehouse as it was – they certainly didn’t need the added worry of him falling through the hole in the floor. Niki had astutely picked up on their worry and built the hinged hatch to keep everybody happy and healthy. 

“Too bad I don’t still have my old job” Ali grinned. “I could have got real windows for you.”

“No way” Ashlyn stuck her head over the gentle pitch of the roof so she could see her wife. Her thumb was still in her mouth but she pulled it out to talk this time. “This is a real treehouse. Something that was built from trees and not some fancy shed or playroom that somebody just stuck up into a tree.” She finished and put her thumb back into her mouth, her face red and flushed from the pain.

“You ok babe?” Ali tried not to laugh at the woman she loved, even though she looked pretty ridiculous at that particular moment.

“She’s fine” Niki chuckled and lowered herself through the open hole in the floor where the ladder would go eventually. She used the wooden blocks on the tree to climb down to the ground. “She may lose that thumbnail but she’ll live.”

“My hero” Ali batted her eyelashes at her wife and gave her a wink before blowing her a kiss. “I’m here to tell you it’s time to wrap it up. Molly just called to tell me to send you fools home” she grinned at Niki and Noah. “Her words, not mine.” 

“Yeah, time to go No” Niki began packing up the tools and handing things to her son to carry back up to Ashlyn’s garage before they left.

“And you’ve gotta leave to go pick up your family at the airport in fifteen minutes” Ali smiled at her wife as she began her climb down. The brunette knew this morning’s last-minute treehouse session was a wrench in the day’s plans and she was so appreciative that Ashlyn and Niki had made the time to do the last few things to the treehouse to make it structurally sound before the Harris children were added to the mix.

“Can I go with Mama?” Drew looked up at Ali, surprising both women with the request. Usually only the littler kids liked to go to the airport to pick people up and usually only when it was one of the grandmothers.

“We’ve got Tommy’s birthday party this afternoon and then the Breakers game tonight” Ali explained, waiting to make eye contact with Ashlyn to see how she felt about it.

“I’d love to have you come with me buddy, always” Ashlyn smiled at her son, her little shark boy who seemed so damned big now. “But there’s two things about it. One – Aunt Whit has been to every single one of your birthday parties for your entire life and it’s only fair that you go to Tommy’s for at least 10 of them” she laughed when she saw Drew’s face register shock and then dismay at the idea. “Ok, maybe not 10, but definitely more than 1. I need you to go there today especially because I won’t be there until the very end.”

“What’s the other thing?” Drew asked, scrunching his face up as he concentrated on Ashlyn’s.

“There’s no room in the car for you my man” she shrugged. “Plain and simple.”

“You coulda just said that” he rolled his eyes and giggled when Ashlyn hugged and tickled him all at the same time.

“Yes, yes I coulda” the keeper grinned as the whole group started walking up the hill towards the big old house.

//

The busy 4th of July vacation week had started at the treehouse and it ended there too. After Ali’s talk with Vicki on the beach at the end of the big 4th of July party that Wednesday, the brunette had tried to find some time alone with her wife so they could talk about what was bothering her. Ashlyn had taken her family into Boston on Thursday to do the tourist thing now that Johnny and Lizzy were old enough to do more things and appreciate it more. Friday was another busy day at the big old house as Ali got both Drew and Josie’s stuff ready for them to spend the next week away at their respective camps. Even when the wives were in the same place at the same time, they were never alone. It wasn’t until late Saturday night, after they had returned home from the Breakers game and gotten all the kids to bed, that Ali looked for her wife and some quiet time to talk. Chris, Beth and Mike were all inside relaxing before going to bed themselves when Ali stood in front of them with her hands on her hips.

“Where’s Ash? Did she go out to get something?”

“Dunno.”  
“Haven’t seen her since we put the kids to bed.”  
“She’s not with you?”

They all replied at once, looking at each other as they spoke and heard the other answers. Ali frowned and slipped her sneakers on to go check the garage and office, telling the family not to lock her out when they went to bed. The brunette had been certain that she would find Ashlyn hiding out in the office above the garage, trying to avoid all the emotions the next day would bring. Sunday was the day her family was leaving. Sunday was the day Josie and Drew were going to sleep at Deb and Mike’s so they could bring them to basketball and drama camp bright and early Monday morning. Sunday was the day she and Ali would pack up the twins and head up to the Academy for week 3, dropping Persey off at Ken and Vicki’s on the way. Sunday was the culmination of a big, emotional, roller coaster of a week that had been wonderful for the most part. Ashlyn loved when her family visited but it was so hard to say goodbye. Ali put her hands on her hips again and chewed her bottom lip as she stood in the empty office, not knowing where her wife could be. She had resigned herself to the fact that Ashlyn must have gone for a walk and had gotten to the side door of the garage, pulling it shut and locking it behind her, before she realized her keeper would never go for a walk without Persey. Where the hell was she? 

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, Ms. Swiss Family Robinson” Ali chuckled as she pulled herself up through the hole in the floor of the treehouse. She had hoped the reference to the book that Drew had gotten such high marks for on his book report and presentation that year in school would lighten the mood in the treehouse. She was relieved when she heard Ashlyn chuckle quietly. “Can I join you? I probably should have asked that before I came all the way up here, huh?”

“Of course you can join me” Ashlyn smiled softly as Ali sat on the floor, leaning her back against the opposite wall of the treehouse and facing Ashlyn who mirrored her position. They both had their legs stretched out straight in front of them, their bare legs a few inches away from each other. It was dark in the small space but the moon and the distant street lights cast just enough light so they could see each other’s face but none of the finer features. “Everything ok in the house?” she asked, suddenly a little nervous, realizing she had left her wife in the house with her brother, knowing Ali was having a hard time with him that week.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Lily even went right out” Ali chuckled at the unusual behavior of their child who fought sleep more than any of the rest. “I think she ran herself dizzy after the game tonight and then talking non-stop the whole ride home. She was toast.”

There was an almost-comfortable silence between the two of them with only Ashlyn swatting at a few mosquitoes disturbing the quiet in the treehouse.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell anybody I was coming out here. I just sort of ended up here, but hadn’t really planned on it, you know?”

“It’s ok babe. It’s been a busy week” the brunette smiled while she tried to get up the nerve to tell her what was on her mind. She stalled. “Hey, why didn’t the lights come on when I walked down here?” it occurred to her for the first time that the motion-detection lights hadn’t blinded her when she activated them with her movement through the empty lot.

“Oh, ummm...I turned them off after Niki almost fell out of the tree” Ashlyn chuckled and looked down. “I couldn’t figure out how to turn off just the one over here by the treehouse so I just threw the switch on all of them. I’ll get the electrician to fix it.”

“We can turn them back on though now, in the meantime, right?” Ali always worried about the teenagers in the area hanging around the empty lot and causing trouble, either purposefully or accidentally. The addition of the treehouse was only going to be another attraction for them once they discovered it.

“Yeah, I’ll take care of it” Ashlyn nodded and silently chastised herself for not turning them on already that week. She teased her wife about being paranoid about the empty lot but she knew Ali was right. The lights had made a big difference in the amount of empty beer bottles and cigarette butts and used condoms she found on the property from time to time. “Sorry.”

“So, listen, I want to talk to you about...my stuff with Chris...”

“Are you sure?”

It was impossible to miss the mixture of skepticism and defensive snark in Ashlyn’s voice and Ali took a deep breath and kept going.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings the other night. I didn’t mean to, I’ve been having a hard time figuring my shit out and I just wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. It wasn’t you” Ali tapped Ashlyn’s leg with her foot hoping to get her to look up at her, without success.

Ashlyn kept her eyes down as she played with a big green maple leaf in her fingers, folding and unfolding and refolding it again.

“Ok, well, here goes” Ali blew out a big breath and pulled nervously on her fingers in her lap. “I wanted to understand what I was feeling better before telling you about it. I thought I was ok with Chris, I mean – I’m still mad at him but I really don’t think that’s ever gonna go all the way away. But I thought I was ok with being around him and having him around and all of that. Then when he got here...” she sighed again. “I don’t know, I just didn’t like it but I couldn’t figure out why.” She looked quickly at her wife again but Ashlyn was focused on the leaf in her hands, frowning at it and bringing it closer to her face to see it better. “And yeah, I tried to just block it out and keep myself busy this week but that wasn’t helping much.” The keeper’s continued focus on the maple leaf began to irk Ali and she felt her temper spike. It had been a long and busy week, it was late and she was tired. “You know, if you didn’t want to talk now you should have just said so” the brunette’s voice was pointed but not quite bitchy as she pulled her legs under herself and started to get up. 

Ali tried to lift up the hatch so she could climb down but Ashlyn reached over with her long arm and held it down, causing the brunette to shoot her a glare.

“I’m just listening, that’s all” the keeper’s voice was even and her face wore a slight frown.

“No you’re not” Ali did snap now as she tugged on the hatch again with frustration. “You’re making it perfectly clear that you’re not interested in having this conversation now. So just let me go and when you feel like you’ve made me wait long enough you can just tell me” her face was hard as she spit the words out. “Now let me go.”

“No” It was Ashlyn’s turn to give her wife a stern look. “You don’t get to tell me how I need to listen to you. I’m sitting here and I’m paying attention to every word you’re saying. You’re mad because I’m not...I don’t know, fucking listening correctly or something” her eyes flashed with anger. “Now sit down and finish telling me what’s going on. I’m not waiting anymore.”

The two stubborn women stared at each other for a full minute before Ali sat back down and folded her arms across her chest with a huff. Ashlyn calmly rested her hands on her own thighs, dropping the leaf beside her and giving her wife her full attention.

“I’m afraid of him” Ali dropped her eyes and admitted as her aggravation ebbed. “It’s just that simple” she shrugged and looked up again, trying to read her wife’s face in the dark. “I didn’t expect it but...there it is.”

“What do you mean you’re afraid of him? Like, afraid he’s going to hurt me again?” Ashlyn’s face looked wounded, as if the brunette’s confession had been a literal slap across the face for her. “That doesn’t even make any sense” she scoffed.

“I didn’t say it made sense” Ali lowered her voice, disappointed at the keeper’s reaction. “And I still don’t really understand all of it. That’s why I wasn’t ready to talk yet...I know it’s confusing” she sighed. 

Ali knew her words were hurting her wife. The idea that Ashlyn’s wife was afraid of Ashlyn’s brother would really throw the keeper for a loop and the brunette knew it. She knew, but didn’t admit that night, that that was part of why she had delayed having this conversation.

“So why are you telling me this now then? You still sound unsure of it. Why not wait until you understand it more?” Ashlyn couldn’t hide the fear and hurt that swirled around her as she tried to make sense of the wall her wife had put up around herself and this issue.

Ali saw the pained expression on her keeper’s face and, for a moment, regretted coming down to the treehouse that night at all.

“Vicki and I were talking on the beach...” she paused when she saw Ashlyn’s face change and contort in response to her words. The keeper had told her wife to talk to somebody, anybody, but deep down she really wanted Ali to talk to her. Ali’s heart clenched, knowing that by confiding in her step-mother, she had, in a way and to her wife’s mind, betrayed Ashlyn. The fact that Ali had shared this with Vicki first was another painful stab at her keeper’s wounded pride. “I’m sorry...” Ali whispered and put her hand on Ashlyn’s closest shin, holding it tentatively – afraid the blonde would pull it away. “She and my dad tricked me into going for a walk because she wanted to tell me about Koty...”

“What the hell does Koty have to do with this?” the keeper’s eyebrows went up but she kept her leg in place, allowing her wife the contact.

“Nothing, not with me anyway” Ali stammered, trying to get the story out quickly to assuage Ashlyn’s fear and worry. “Vicki wanted to get me alone so she could tell me that she used to be afraid of Koty too – back after the intervention that Christmas” she waited to see if Ashlyn relaxed but continued even though she could see no signs of it. “She knew I was afraid of Chris. She recognized it from her own situation. She just wanted me to know what it had been like for her and how she got through it.”

“So she’s not afraid of him anymore?” the keeper’s voice was full of sincere curiosity and not much else. Her hurt feelings had taken a backseat to the idea that Ali might someday not be afraid of Chris. Ashlyn clung to that possibility with the same focus she had shown the maple leaf earlier.

“No, not a bit” Ali smiled softly, happy to see her wife zeroing in on the good part of the story and not all of the weird stuff that came with it. “She explained how she just needed to spend more time with him so she could see with her own eyes that he wasn’t that horrible person from that night. It just took time and a lot of trust and a little bit of help from my dad when they first got started.”

“What did Ken do?” Ashlyn reached over and put her hand on Ali’s knee, the brunette’s legs stretched out as they had been before. 

“Well, she told him what was going on...”

Ashlyn raised her eyebrows high and tilted her head towards her wife with a look that was half incredulous and half playful.

“I know, I know...” Ali rolled her eyes. “But I’m telling you now” she squeezed her wife’s shin and felt an enormous wave of relief wash over her. Ashlyn leaned back into place with a tiny smirk on her face and patted Ali’s knee. “So dad just made sure Vicki wasn’t alone with Koty for a while – you know, until she was ready. Until she didn’t feel afraid anymore.”

“How long did that take? And how did it work, exactly?”

Ali went on to explain, just as Vicki had done for her four days earlier on the beach, how Ken and Vicki spent more and more time together with Koty, and sometimes Tanner too, doing the everyday normal things they had always done together. They watched soccer, they took the dog for walks, they made and ate dinner together, they did all the mundane things that showed Vicki that her son was still her son – and not the monster who had struck fear in her heart that night at Chistmastime. The timing had been dictated by how much time they had spent together, getting Vicki more and more comfortable all the time. When Ali finished talking they were both quiet for a couple of minutes, just breathing in the sweet summer night air. Their hands were both still touching the other’s leg – the contact was still there, as always. Ali couldn’t tell if her wife was still angry with her or not, the darkness made everything more difficult to read between the two of them.

“I made an appointment with Mattie too” Ali offered softly, one more confession that would hopefully show her keeper just how much she wanted to get past this incredibly difficult obstacle in their lives.

Ashlyn smiled and nodded, thoughtfully, as she caressed the soft skin of her wife’s leg.

“What can I do?” she asked quietly.

“I’m not sure yet” Ali chewed her bottom lip. “I’m hoping Mattie will have a plan. But I know it’ll take a while because we don’t see Chris very often. But, I promise you Ashlyn” her voice was very serious and she locked eyes with her keeper before continuing, “I’ll fix this. I’ll work it out, no matter what it takes. I won’t give up.”

“Aw baby, I don’t want you to have to go through all of that” Ashlyn scooted closer and pulled the beautiful brunette into a hug. “You just said it, we don’t see them that often. And you didn’t have this problem when we were down there at the beach house, right?”

“Right...but...”

“So it’s only a problem when Chris is up here in the house with you and that’s only, like, every couple of years...”

“Ashlyn...” Ali’s voice was sweet and kind. “I want to do it for me. I hate feeling this way” she admitted as she pulled back from the hug and cupped her wife’s face with one hand. “If there’s any way I can get back to loving Chris I want to do it.”

“But, why?” Ashlyn furrowed her brow as she tried to understand. “You’d better not be doing it for me” she gave the brunette a stern look. “I told you – I won’t ask you to forgive him or do anything you’re not comfortable with...this is his fault...”

“I know honey, I know” she gently patted Ashlyn’s cheek and smiled warmly at her. “And I appreciate that, I really do. I want to do it for me. From what I can understand so far, it feels kind of like me coaching soccer again after avoiding it for so long. I love it so much and I’m mad at myself for waiting so long to get past that hurdle. I don’t want this to be like that. I don’t want to feel like I’ve felt this week – ever again. I don’t want to have to try and make family plans based around whether or not I’m going to start dropping glasses all over the house every time your brother speaks to me” she chuckled a little bit but the fear she had felt that night in the kitchen had been real and she wasn’t going to forget it anytime soon.

They were quiet again, holding each other and looking into each other’s loving eyes. They heard Persey barking for them at the top of the path, aka the sledding hill, by the gate into the backyard of the big old house. It was late and Chris must have let her out as the rest of the visitors were getting ready for bed.

“That sounds like our cue” Ashlyn smiled and nuzzled into her wife’s hand, still on her cheek. “Thank you for telling me. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

“I love talking with you and sharing these messy parts of me with you, I’ve always loved that. I wish it was easier sometimes, but...thank you for giving me some time Ash. And, I promise, I’ll get past this – once and for all.”

Persey’s barking continued and the keeper groaned as she got on her knees and called out to the dog through the open wall closest to that side.

“Persey!” her voice was short and severe, a whisper-shout. The tone told the dog she was being corrected and needed to change her behavior, pronto. “Quiet!”

Ali lifted the hatch and made her way to the ground, watching the keeper do the same right after her. They started walking up the path, holding hands even though they were single-file. Ashlyn was close enough so that she put her other hand on Ali’s butt, holding it there all the way up to the gate and the waiting dog. Ali wasn’t surprised by the touch. No, after such a disconnect and so many hurt feelings and so much confusion between them, she welcomed it. The brunette felt the smile on her own face as they walked together, feeling closer than they had all week. She knew she had her work cut out for her if she was going to conquer her fear of Chris, but she also knew that he was one of the most important people in the world to her wife. Ashlyn hadn’t put any pressure on her to forgive him but that just made Ali want to do it even more. Yes, she wanted to do it for herself, but she hadn’t been entirely truthful with her keeper. Ali really wanted to do it for Ashlyn because she knew the blonde was still harboring some anger for what Chris was putting her wife through. Ali wanted Ashlyn to truly be able to forgive her brother and love him whole-heartedly again – without any splashover from the difficult situation Ali and Chris found themselves in. Yes, she wanted to do it for herself. But giving that gift to Ashlyn was the primary motivation this time. She knew, if their roles had been reversed and it had been Kyle who had lost his way instead of Chris, that her keeper would do everything in her power to find a way to forgive and love Kyle again too.

//

The next morning, a busy Sunday morning, both Ashlyn and Ali were tired but happy they had finally worked out some sort of middle ground for the issue that wouldn’t seem to go away. They had gone up to their bedroom and, after Ali checked the to-do list for the morning one last time, connected in their favorite way – having fast and efficient sleepy sex because they were both too tired to do much else. It did the trick though. They finally fell asleep wrapped tightly together, pajamas back on and doors unlocked, before 45 minutes had gone by. They’d been having sex for so long now that, when they had to rush, they knew exactly what chords to play to make each other sing out a short but still beautiful orgasm. Neither of them said it out loud, but they were both painfully aware that they were about to go to The Academy for the next week and sleep in one of the staff cabins with Lily and Dodge and there would be no private time to be had, really, until Thursday night back at the big old house again – the night before Ashlyn left for the EUROs.

Sunday morning was bittersweet as they said goodbye to Chris, Beth, Johnny, and Mike Harris who all flew home to Florida after a great week of sun and fun, New England style. Lizzy stayed behind because she was going to attend The Academy for the very first time. She had turned 9 years old back in January so this was the first time she met the minimum age-requirement. Nobody pushed her into doing it, Lizzy had been looking forward to Auntie Ash’s soccer camp for the last two years, but when it came time to make the drive North in the minivan with her aunts and cousins, the Florida girl seemed hesitant.

“If you don’t like it you don’t have to stay” Ashlyn reminded her niece as they stood in the mudroom gathering up Persey’s leash and bed and a few of her toys for her stay at Ken & Vicki’s. “You can come stay with us in our cabin and then one of us will bring you back to stay with Gigi and Caro for the rest of the week if you want. Ok?” she rubbed the girl’s back affectionately as she squatted next to her. They were both looking out through the open mudroom door to the driveway and the minivan that was full of Kriegers waiting patiently for their cousin. “I promise miss Liz” she gave the girl a side hug and kissed her cheek with a grin. “You get to decide what happens this week. You just have to come tell Auntie Ali or me what you want to do and we’ll make sure that’s what happens.”

Lizzy turned her suddenly younger than 9-1/2 year old looking face up to her aunt who had stood up again and started moving towards the open door with the dog stuff.

“There’ll be other girls there my age though, right?”

“Yes, so many girls you won’t believe it.”

“And...they’re not all from here?”

“Nope, some of them come from all over the country to play soccer with us.”

“Will I know any of them?”

“Hmmmm...probably not” Ashlyn answered honestly. “At least not until we get up there and meet everybody. That’s one of my favorite parts of the whole week – the opening of camp where we all get to know each other and get settled into the cabins. Then we come back and play some games and some soccer and hang out before we all have dinner together in the big dining hall.”

Ashlyn had gently brought the girl along with her as they walked to the minivan by keeping her arm around her shoulders the whole time. Lizzy had found herself at the open side door to the minivan and wasn’t sure exactly how she had gotten there.

“Lily and Dodge will be there too, right?” she asked, one last timid question that she already knew the answer to.

“They’ll be there, but not doing the soccer camp stuff – they’re too young still. But they’ll be around if you want to hang out with them during your free periods or things like that. And both Auntie Ali and I will be coaching, and so will Syd and Niki – you know both of them pretty well...”

By this point Ali could hear their conversation and figure out what the hold-up was. They had a busy schedule to keep of dropping Drew and Josie at Deb and Mike’s in Manchester and then stopping at Ken and Vicki’s to deliver Persey. They didn’t really have time for this or Lizzy would be late for her first camp at The Academy and that wasn’t a good impression to make if you were trying to make friends.

“Lizzy, you’re going to meet so many fun new friends that you won’t want anything to do with us after, like, an hour today” the brunette giggled and flashed her niece a megawatt, but sincere, smile as she leaned back from the front passenger seat towards the open sliding door. “C’mon you two, we’ve gotta go!” she encouraged with another warm smile, watching as Lizzy finally climbed in.

Ali’s words turned out to be true. By the time dinner rolled around that evening up at camp, Lizzy breathlessly announced that she was going to sit with some new friends instead of her aunts and cousins. There was apology in her eyes but Ashlyn and Ali quickly encouraged her and smiled back when they saw her face light up in a big grin. The Florida cousin represented the Harris name very nobly and capably that week. She wasn’t great but she was fairly athletic and coordinated, and maybe most importantly – she never gave up. She was a bigger girl, inheriting her father’s size and body-type rather than that of her more normal-sized mother, but she was nimbler and more agile than anybody thought she would be. Ashlyn and Ali were careful not to show her any favoritism that week, even though they were both tempted to praise every little thing she did well. Sydney had James and Maddox with her for the week, staying in their own cabin, and the Dwyer kids played with the Krieger twins whenever possible and enjoyed their week at the campground. The weather wasn’t great that week – it rained a little bit every afternoon as hot, humid, stormy weather rolled through the area but that just reminded Lizzy of Florida weather back home. 

The Suburu people came up to the camp on Tuesday to get some footage for the third Suburu commercial in their ‘seasons’ theme. The idea for this ad was summer and they wanted to show Ashlyn and her family at the beach and at The Academy, using their Suburu minivan – which was really more of an all-purpose SUV that still sort of looked like a minivan. It was an added stress to the week that neither Ali nor Ashlyn wanted or needed. But Suburu continued to be one of Ashlyn’s biggest and most loyal sponsors so they made it work. They would be coming back to shoot the beach scenes later in the summer, once Ashlyn was home from Israel, but The Academy had such a short window of time schedule-wise that they had to take advantage of the keeper being there now. Josie had been pissed when the scheduling was first worked out. She and Drew weren’t going to be in the scenes from The Academy because they were off doing their own camps.

“Listen, you guys were in a couple of commercials before the twins were old enough to join in so it’s all balancing itself out now, don’t you think?” Ali tried to reason with her willful redheaded daughter.

“It’s not fair” Josie huffed and crossed her arms like a bratty 5-year old even though she had just turned 8.

“What might not be fair would be not letting you be in the beach part of the commercial that they’re going to shoot later this summer” Ashlyn quirked her eyebrow at the girl, not happy with her attitude. “And if you keep up this routine” the keeper pointed towards the girl and moved her finger around slowly, “that’s exactly what’s going to happen young lady.”

Ashlyn never used ‘young lady’ or ‘young man’ unless she was serious and all the kids knew it. It was unusual for her to break it out so early in the discussion this time but Ali knew her wife had no patience when their kids whined about the tremendous luxuries and benefits they were lucky to have at all in the first place. The idea that an 8-year old Ashlyn Harris might be in a television commercial, and getting paid for it no less, would have been enough to send her younger self to the moon and back with happiness and appreciation. Ashlyn couldn’t stand how spoiled her kids were sometimes and this was one of those times.

The rest of the week at the Academy went by pretty smoothly. Sydney and Ali always had such a good time when they coached together. If the brunette was honest, she’d like to do all 8 weeks with Sydney by her side. Of course, nothing was better than participating in this unique and empowering soccer environment with her gorgeous wife. Ali took such sheer joy from watching Ashlyn interact with the girls and really bond with them, even if it was only for a week. Ali knew it was sincere. She loved how Ashlyn tried her hardest to learn everybody’s name. The fact that they all wore pinneys with the same number on all week long helped a lot as they were all learning names. The Academy had become a really good scouting ground for several college programs across the country as well as US Soccer. Whitney and Ken and Cat had devised a system to help keep track of who everybody was so they could better evaluate and document the performance at the camp. But aside from that, Ashlyn went out of her way when she was there for a full week, as she was that third session, to get to know the girls in some small way. There were too many for her to get close to everybody, but she tried to learn one thing that wasn’t soccer related about each of the campers. It was hard as hell to do, and Ali admired her wife for even attempting it.

It had been a busy and more hectic than usual week with the Suburu people there on Tuesday, and Ali and Ashlyn hadn’t had much time to talk or connect at the camp. Ali was always checking in on the twins during her down time and Ashlyn was always checking in on Lizzy during hers. It was only at night, after Dodge and Lily had been tucked into their bunk beds around 8:30 or 9:00pm after the big group campfire that they could touch base with each other. But Sunday and Monday nights they had hung out with the other coaches. Tuesday night they had spent with the Suburu folks, making sure they had everything they needed and knew where they were going on their way back to civilization. Wednesday night was the first night they had a chance to talk without one of them falling asleep mid-sentence once they got into bed at 10pm or so. 

On Wednesday they both put the twins to bed and Ali stayed in the cabin getting their things ready to head back home the next afternoon. How the hell had four whole days gone by so quickly already? Ashlyn helped Ali pack for an hour and left the cabin at 10pm to go check on Lizzy, who had sprained her ankle that afternoon, one last time. By the time she returned to the Krieger cabin at 11pm the rest of the staff cabins were mostly quiet and dark with just a few lights here and there. The keeper got changed for bed, sad that Ali had already fallen asleep on top of the two bunk beds they had pushed together and then put their own air mattress on top of so they could sleep together the way they always preferred. Ashlyn missed her wife, despite being surrounded by her and the twins that week. She longed for some one on one time with Ali, and not necessarily just for sex. For them, the sex only came after the other more basic connections had been made. Those simple connections had been sorely lacking that week with so many demands on both of them. Ashlyn took another loving look at her beautiful brunette lying on top of the covers with her glasses on her face and her book fallen on top of her chest and then went out onto the small porch at the front of the cabin. 

The stillness of the woods and the darkness fell all around her as she stood there taking it all in. She almost jumped out of her skin when she felt Ali’s hands on her hips from behind, quietly joining her and leading her to sit on the swing a few steps away at the end of the porch. They sat sideways on the swing so they were facing each other, each with one leg bent up on the seat and the other leg down on the ground. The swing squeaked loudly when they pushed it and tried to swing so they quickly stopped and giggled as quietly as they could. It sounded like the entire planet must have heard the deafening sound and they both blushed like schoolgirls who had been caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. Like kissing other girls on the swings. 

“I love this place” Ashlyn spoke as softly as she could, which still sounded loud in the stillness. “But I love it so much more when you’re here with me” she confessed. She knew it sounded cheesy but it was the truth and she wasn’t going to keep it inside. “I love you, baby.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet” Ali smiled bashfully, her voice just as quiet as her wife’s. She pulled Ashlyn into a hug and they held each other for a couple of minutes.

“Lizzy finally told me why she was afraid to come to camp this week” Ashlyn shared while they hugged.

“She did? What did the nurse give her for her sprained ankle anyway?” the brunette giggled, tucking her head under Ashlyn’s chin.

“Ha ha, very funny. Kind of a sick joke when you think about her family history” Ashlyn pretended to be upset with her wife and Ali immediately pulled back in horror when she realized what she had said and why it would never be funny for the Harris family.

“Oh my God Ash, I didn’t mean...”

“I know” the keeper chuckled. “Relax, I’m just busting on you” she received the swat she knew was coming and then laughed softly as she pulled her wife in for another hug. “That was actually pretty funny.”

“So what was it? What did Lizzy say?” 

“She was afraid she wouldn’t be good enough and she thought she might embarrass me at my camp...”

“Aww, the poor thing, what a horrible thing to think.”

“I know, right? But she knows about my career, and Meg’s doing so well in both soccer and basketball...”

“Of course, I forget how much all the kids look up to Meg.”

“Sure, yeah, no problem. Just take me right out of the equation. I don’t mind. Make it all about Meg. Go on now” Ashlyn rolled her eyes but they both knew she was teasing.

“Oh you know what I mean” Ali laughed and hugged her seemingly thin-skinned girl closer to her. “The whole family forever will live in the shadow of our most talented and most famous superstar. That goes without saying” she leaned up and kissed Ashlyn’s chin with a giggle.

“Keep doing that and you might dig yourself out of this hole yet” Ashlyn smirked and then chuckled again before trying to kiss the brunette’s lips.

“Hey, now don’t start” Ali turned her head away, trying to avoid the tempting lips coming her way. “So Lizzy feels better about everything? She really had a good time?”

“Fine” Ashlyn sighed and gave up her attempted kiss, settling for the closeness of their hug instead. “Yes, she’s great, except for her swollen ankle. But yeah, she had a great time. She doesn’t want to leave.”

“Well maybe next year we can get it planned better and she can come for all three weeks at the beginning. Or maybe weeks 5&6 after the 4th invitational week...”

“I told her she could come back this year” Ashlyn’s voice and eyes dropped, knowing she had gone too far.

“Ashlyn, you can’t say that to her” Ali pulled back to look at her kind-hearted wife. “First of all, you haven’t talked to Beth. She might have plans made already...”

“I know.”

“And the camp is full – there’s no room for her...”

“That’s crap and you know it. If I can’t squeeze in my niece...well, I don’t know what the hell the point of doing this whole thing was in the first place then” she finished, her voice angry but still even and quiet.

Ali chose to let that one go because she agreed with her wife. The rules could certainly be bent for any of the founding members of The Academy who had worked so hard and sacrificed so much to bring this amazing place in to existence.

“And what about her ankle? Will she even be able to play soccer again in 2 weeks? How bad is it?” Ali’s voice was an odd mixture of chastising and soothing and it was confusing the keeper. “I know you’re just trying to give her...things you didn’t have and maybe some things that she hasn’t had for a while when things were bad...but you can’t just say that to her honey.”

“I know” Ashlyn lifted her eyes and looked into Ali’s dark chocolate ones. “I just...couldn’t help it” she shrugged and smiled when Ali kissed her cheek.

As so often happened, as soon as Ali witnessed her wife’s amazingly huge heart doing its thing and showing kindness and compassion and empathy to someone Ali loved or cared about, the brunette’s libido kicked into gear. Ashlyn being kind-hearted was always a turn-on for Ali and it probably always would be. They were quiet for another couple of minutes as they held each other close and moved their hands slowly up and down arms and backs as they breathed together on the swing. Before she had even put too much thought to it, Ali leaned up and pressed a kiss into Ashlyn’s soft, sweet lips. She pulled back barely half an inch and kept her eyes closed as she moved her hand up and down Ashlyn’s back. Ali felt the desire spike in her system but knew there was no way anything was going to happen that night. They would have to wait one more night to be in their own bedroom and just pray for some privacy on Ashlyn’s last night at home before her long work trip. As the brunette debated all of this inside her head, Ashlyn brought their lips together in a slow, deep kiss that they both felt in all the right places. Ali reached her other hand up behind her keeper’s neck and held her wife close, letting her fingers play with the short hair she loved so much there. They moved closer to each other on the swing and continued kissing, gradually turning their alone time into a steamy make-out session that had them both starting to squirm in their seats within 10 minutes.

“Fuck baby, I want you so bad” Ashlyn breathed out once they finally pulled apart and leaned their foreheads together, both trying to catch their breath. “Let’s go take a walk somewhere...” She nodded her head just a little bit towards the woods. “And finish what we started.”

“Jesus, I want you too. So much babe” Ali’s dark eyes told her wife she was telling the truth, without any doubt. “It feels like forever...”

“Saturday night” Ashlyn supplied the answer to the unasked question. “Remember, we went fast because we were both falling asleep...”

“God, no wonder” Ali rolled her eyes. “I want you, but there’s no way I’m sneaking off into the woods to have sex with you honey” she giggled and kissed Ashlyn’s lips softly. “Not gonna happen.”

“But...”

“I can’t believe you’d be up for that anyway” the brunette quirked her eyebrow at her wife. “Do you know how many bugs and things there are out there at night? You’d get eaten alive” she chuckled, low in her throat, which drove Ashlyn even more crazy. “You’d have bug bites all over your ass.”

“It’d be worth it” she countered and grinned.

“Yeah, sure” Ali laughed as they pulled apart but kept touching and holding onto each other’s arms and folded up legs between them. “I can just see it now. Very romantic. Me putting calamine lotion all over your butt” she giggled and poked her wife but Ashlyn grabbed her hand and held it close.

“I can’t guarantee how much I’ll be able to behave myself tonight when we get into bed” she wagged her eyebrows.

“Well, then you can explain to your kids when they ask what we’re doing” Ali nodded with another giggle.

“Oh, that’s not fair” Ashlyn shook her head, trying to get the image of Dodge or Lily’s sweet little face asking them why they were wrestling without any clothes on or some cute shit like that out of her head. “Ok, then one more kiss. A real one...”

She didn’t even get the words all the way out of her mouth before Ali closed her lips over it and gave her one of the most passionate kisses they had ever shared. It was a long night after that with both women thinking naughty thoughts while trying to convince their bodies to lie still and go to sleep. One more night, just one more night...


	12. Summer Camps & Send-offs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning at the end of the chapter

The Academy week came to an end Thursday afternoon with the cookout that closed out every week. Dom brought Cassius up and Molly brought Evan and Penny up while Whitney arrived with both Becca and Tommy. Normally the Kriegers would have stayed much later into the evening, either spending another night or getting back home well after bedtime with kids already sleeping in the car. But Ashlyn was leaving for 3 weeks the next afternoon so they ended their fun Thursday at The Academy earlier than usual to get back to the big old house and get ready. Ali had called Beth first thing Thursday morning to talk about Lizzy and her ankle and Ashlyn’s impetuous offer. The two moms discussed the pros and cons of both possibilities but Beth ultimately decided that this was not the year that Lizzy would spend multiple weeks at The Academy. Not only were they both worried about her ankle being strong enough for the rigorous demands of camp in only 10 days’ time, but Tammye and Carol had made plans of their own that revolved around flying their granddaughter back down to Florida with them that Saturday. There were too many people involved to change things on a whim like that, although Beth understood and appreciated the keeper’s heartfelt attempt to make Lizzy feel better. And Lizzy took it in stride, which told everybody involved that her ankle was bothering her more than she had been letting on. But she made her mother promise to let her come back to The Academy again next year and for more than just one week. Beth happily agreed, as any good parent does when their child is excited about a new interest or hobby or sport.

Ashlyn hadn’t left her family for a long work trip like this since the last time she had done the EUROs, four years ago in Germany. And that time she had been lucky enough to have Ali come over and join her for the last 11 days of her 3-week trip. That wasn’t going to happen this time and it made them both wistful for their special time together in Germany. Ali was going to have a tough time wrangling all four kids by herself as it was. There was no way either of them felt comfortable asking their village to help out at this point in their lives. Not that summer. Somehow both moms had said yes to several activities, camps, and outings for all four kids that summer and they all seemed to be happening in the three weeks that Ashlyn was going to be away. There were soccer camps and basketball camps and baseball camps and drama camps and animal camps and science camps and music camps and regular camping camps. And they were all at different locations too, obviously. Ali could barely make it work with her mom and dad both helping to shuttle kids around New England. 

The kid that was the most excited about anything that summer was Dodge. He was chomping at the bit to play football, not soccer, but American gridiron football and now that he was 6 years old he was finally old enough to do it. Drew’s interest in football had come out of thin air and surprised both of his mothers. But not Dodge. The kid was, arguably, perfect for the sport. He loved the contact and tackling had always been one of his most favorite things to do in the whole world. His moms knew he was smart and would be able to understand the playbook, especially if Ali helped him really learn the plays and the positions beforehand. Ashlyn and Ali were both nervous about concussions and CTE after all of the discoveries and findings scientists had been making about the field of brain injury over the past 15 years. Once the NFL had grudgingly admitted there was a correlation between the head trauma endured by NFL players during their football careers and CTE and all of the debilitating results of brain injury, things had slowly started to change. It took a while because the changes had to start all the way down at the peewee level so the kids learned the correct way to tackle by wrapping the players up with their arms and not spearing them with their heads. Once the tiniest kids had started learning the right way, the whole system began a methodical change until, as of July 2029, there were more active players in the NFL who had only ever learned the right way. The older players who had learned the old way and then been forced to try to adopt the new way were outnumbered among active players and it was the last brick that had to be removed before the whole archaic, backwards, ridiculously unhealthy building finally collapsed and could be rebuilt. Local peewee leagues had scientists and professors and medical professionals come in and do seminars for parents to educate them on the new way of playing football so the players didn’t destroy their still-forming brains in the process. It had taken years, but the change had happened and been successful and Ali and Ashlyn were confident that Dodge could play football without scrambling his brain. As it was, the 6 and 7 year olds were only playing flag football anyway. There was no full-contact with pads and helmets until they were 8. They were actually looking forward to seeing what Dodge could do. If he was as good at football as he was at soccer then it might be pretty special to see.

Ali and Ashlyn didn’t even know there was football camp for 6-year olds back when Drew had tried his hand at the sport four years earlier. They both wondered how much better the results would have been for their oldest son if he had been able to attend a week-long camp before being thrust into practice. They couldn’t go back in time and change that, but they had learned from it. They started talking to the kids in June about what activities they wanted to try when school started again in September. Then they did their research and signed kids up for camps accordingly. In some ways it was more hectic and challenging than getting the kids organized, packed up and off to school every day during the year. The summer camps were all at different places and had different start times and end times and requirements for what each camper had to bring with him or her. It was dizzying to try and organize and Ali really felt like she was at her limit of making it work. They had to say no to a few things because of conflicts. Drew wanted to go to a more advanced baseball camp but it was the same week as the music camp that he had already signed up for. So, after some tears and a hard lesson learned about honoring commitments and an even harder one about what ‘non-refundable’ meant, he stuck with music camp and went to the basic baseball camp the week afterwards instead. One of the best things about these camps was that other four-family member kids could go too. They weren’t school affiliated so it didn’t matter what town you lived in – you could all go to the same soccer camp if you signed up in time.

Ashlyn still travelled for her various jobs but her trips were never for more than a couple of days at a time, except for the NWSL Championship Week. She hadn’t been separated from her wife and family for 3 weeks in a long time and she wasn’t looking forward to it at all. But, she had a job to do and she was still grateful to be asked to commentate on women’s soccer in general. She was especially proud to be invited to join the EUROs again because it wasn’t an American tournament and she wasn’t there to talk about the US team because they weren’t allowed to compete in the EUROs. The only reason Ashlyn was at the EUROs was because of her skill and ability dissecting the game of soccer and explaining it to the masses who might not understand everything at the same level. She was a natural on camera but, just as she had done at the previous EUROs tournament in Germany, she was being asked to call the games themselves instead of just analyzing them in the studio or on the pitch during breaks in the game. Ashlyn loved the beautiful game as much as ever and knew she would enjoy being in the middle of so much great soccer played by so many talented young women. She was the only one of the four analysts to come back from the previous EUROs in Germany. Caroline Seger and Birgit Prinz both declined their invitations and Sylvia Neid hadn’t even been asked to come back. It was a huge commitment to disappear from your life for 3 weeks and immerse yourself in the fast-paced tournament atmosphere with a grueling travel schedule to boot. 

This year Ashlyn would be teaming up with five other former players to form two broadcast teams to cover the slate of 24 group matches, 4 quarterfinals, 2 semi-finals, the consolation game and, of course, the Final game on August 5th. The producers liked the way the 2025 set up had worked so they decided to replicate it but add in a third team-member to both of the broadcast pairings. That way the third team-member could be down on the sidelines getting all sorts of intel there and reporting back to the booth during the game for added insight into what the coaches, officials and players were saying and doing. There would be 5 stadiums spread throughout the country to host the highly-anticipated and hotly-contested games. The great thing about having them in Israel was that the country was so much smaller than Germany had been that the travel time and distance between cities was about half of what it had been back in 2025. When Ashlyn saw the official list of broadcast team members her heart sank and some old insecurities started to climb to the top of her brain.

“I know you know this, because you’re my all-star” Ali wrapped her arms around her wife’s shoulders from behind as Ashlyn sat at the small desk in the mudroom one evening back in May. “But you’re just as talented as any of the names on that list” the brunette kissed her keeper’s neck and then put her cheek right back against Ashlyn’s cheek where it had been as they both looked at the list of names on the laptop in front Ashlyn. “Yes, you’re the only one without a cap on the senior international team. You’re right. There’s nothing you can do about that. But there’s absolutely no reason why that should stop you now, is there?” she stood up, keeping her hand on Ashlyn’s shoulder, and leaned against the desk so she could see her wife’s glum face. Ali reached her other hand out and lifted Ashlyn’s chin until their eyes met. “It only matters if you decide it matters, babe. And we both know better than that.”

Ashlyn knew her wife was right. Her brain was telling her many of the same things, but goddamn was it intimidating to be on that fucking list.

Lucy Bronze, 37, England, RB  
Ashlyn Harris, 43, USA, GK  
Ada Hegerberg, 33, Norway, Striker  
Samantha Kerr, 35, Australia, Striker  
Camila Martins Pereira, 34, Brazil, MF  
Wendie Renard, 38, France, CB

Everybody on that list was a superstar in women’s soccer, several of whom had won the EUFA Women’s Player of the Year Award. These were the best of the very best. These were Women’s World Cup Champions and Olympic Gold Medalists and EURO Champions. These were women who had not only been stalwarts on their countries’ national team, but the team captains as well during their illustrious careers. The only one who was still playing was Ada Hegerberg but she was injured and recovering from a serious foot injury that kept her from leading her squad in the prestigious European tournament. Ashlyn, Sam Kerr and Camila Martins Pereira had all played their club soccer in the NWSL and Ashlyn and Kerr had even faced each other several times in the past. Lucy Bronze played her college soccer at UNC after Ashlyn had graduated, but the two Tarheels still bonded over their shared alumnae glory. Ashlyn had played against Wendie Renard and Lucy Bronze in her US Youth soccer days and remembered them both as fierce competitors, even as younger girls.

“Why do you think they asked you to do the EUROs this time Ash?” Ali’s strong voice broke through the keeper’s spiraling fears and thoughts.

“Because I did ok last time and they wanted one person with some actual broadcast experience to try and keep everyone else from crashing and burning?” her reply was more of a question and she chuckled at the end and rolled her eyes as Ali playfully smacked her cheek.

“Ok, then, let’s go with that ridiculous answer...”

“I was just kidding. I’ll be fine...”

“No, really, let’s assume that’s why they asked you back” Ali steadied her gaze on her favorite hazel eyes and raised her eyebrows, getting fired up about the question. They stared at each other for several seconds. “Is there really something wrong with that? I mean, think about it – they want you back because you did a good job last time and you know what you’re doing and they trust you to keep all the other inexperienced newbies out of trouble on the air. That says a whole lot about you and what you bring to the table...”

“Desk, it’s called a desk in broadcasting” Ashlyn corrected, teasing her wife as she began to come out of her funk.

“Ok smartass” Ali giggled and spun her wife’s chair to the side so she could sit sideways on her lap. She draped one arm behind Ashlyn’s shoulders and poked into her chest with her other hand as she spoke. “You’re only proving my point” she giggled again and let her keeper hold her arm to keep it from jabbing her anymore. “You can look at this however you want to look at it honey, but to everybody else who’s paying attention, it makes perfect sense that you’re part of this broadcast team, part of this list of amazing former football players. As a matter of fact, I’ll bet you that most soccer fans and viewers think you played for the senior USWNT anyway.”

“No they don’t” Ashlyn humbly shook her head.

“Yes they do. And if I didn’t think it would cause more trouble than it’s worth, I’d do a poll on all of our social media to prove it to you” she smiled at her wife who seemed to be feeling more confident. “Face it babe, you’re who people want to hear about women’s soccer from. It doesn’t matter that some stupid coach decided you weren’t worth the risk way back when. The rest of your peers knew you should have been on the USWNT all along. These other women on your broadcast team – they know it too. The only one who seems to keep needing convincing is you. And it’s time for you to quit carrying that around with you.”

Ali leaned over and kissed Ashlyn’s forehead as they hugged for several moments in the desk chair. The brunette was right and Ashlyn knew it. She really, truly did. But every now and then she had a moment of self-doubt because she was human. And it was times just like those that she was so grateful to have Ali Krieger in her corner, both as an agent and a wife. Nobody had ever believed in her the way Ali did, not even close, and Ashlyn had enjoyed some really great support from friends and family during her career. But there was nothing better for her psyche and her ego and her state of mind than a good old pep talk from her beautiful brunette.

So the evening before she was leaving for Israel for 3 weeks, Ashlyn replayed that conversation with her wife in her mind as she packed upstairs in the master bedroom. She used Ali’s words to fight off the nervous energy and self-doubt that was trying to creep in. Her flight wasn’t until 4pm on Friday but she knew from experience that those travel days went by way too fast to actually get anything done. Ashlyn would be lucky to have an hour with Drew and Josie tomorrow, just home from their week-long camps, before heading into the airport. Besides, she knew that Ali and she had a date for send-off sex that night and it was always better when she could tell her sexy wife that she was all ready for the trip. It made them both more relaxed. 

Once they made it back home with Dodge, Lily, Lizzy and Persey in tow, at around 6pm after eating dinner with Grandpa and Vivi in Ipswich, the evening flew by. Deb, Mike, Tammye and Carol all came over to welcome them home and, in Tammye and Carol’s case, say goodbye to Ashlyn before her trip. The twins loved being back home with their own stuff and their own people. They both asked about 12 times each when Drew and Josie were coming home and it was sweet each time. Well, almost each time. 

Julie Donaldson came over for a little while and agreed with Lizzy’s ankle diagnosis from The Academy nurse on staff that week. Julie still went up to The Academy for about half the weeks every summer, genuinely enjoying the camp and campers during her summer vacation from her high school nurse job. She assured both Ali and Ashlyn that Lizzy’s ankle would be as good as new after a week or so of solid rest and care (icing and elevating, etc.). She even checked on a bug bite of Lily’s that had gotten infected because the little girl just couldn’t stop picking at it. Lily had always been a picker and Ashlyn blamed Ali – calling out her nervous finger-pulling habit and her penchant for peeling any label off of any beer, soda or water bottle she ever held in her hands for more than 10 seconds. Julie and Neil Donaldson had continued to be wonderful neighbors and both Ashlyn and Ali appreciated having them around.

“Have you heard anything about what’s going on across the street?” Ali asked, referring to old Mrs. Ornstein’s now vacant house that had been up for sale for months.

“Not too much, although Neil talked to the realtor the other day when he was leaving after another open house that nobody attended” Julie offered as they enjoyed a glass of wine in the kitchen just before the kids bedtime. “The realtor says Mrs. Ornstein’s family really wants to sell it but they’re asking too much for it. They won’t let him lower the asking price.”

“Well that’s dumb. No wonder nobody’s coming to the open house.”

“Ash is probably the one who’s been in that house more than any of us” Julie continued, motioning over her shoulder towards the backyard where the keeper, Carol and Deb were all working in the garden with the three kids – Lizzy resting in a lawn chair with her ankle up and serving as the produce collection depository. “But Neil went in real quick with the realtor and he says it’s a complete mess.”

 

“Well she didn’t make a lot of improvements to it over the years” Ali explained what little she knew of the state of the old woman’s house across the street. “It looks a lot like this place did before Ashlyn came in and freshened it all up.”

“Right, but nobody’s freshening it up. They’re asking big money for it because it’s so close to the beach, which makes sense. But if nobody’s interested then you’ve gotta try a different approach, at least that’s what I think” the nurse finished her wine and walked the glass over to the sink at the end of the kitchen. “That’s all I’ve heard about it anyway.”

“I don’t like having it empty this long. It’s just asking for trouble.”

“I agree” Julie nodded. “This is a really safe neighborhood but all it takes is one empty house to start bringing everything down. I’ll get out of your way. I know it’s a busy night. If I can find the ankle compression wrap I’ll bring it over tomorrow.”

“Thanks Jules, you’re the best” Ali smiled. “Wait, they’re coming in” she grinned at the parade of loved ones marching towards the kitchen door, their arms full of garden goodies. “Help yourself to cherry tomatoes, snap peas, cucumbers, and...” she craned her neck to see what else the kids were carrying, “ooh radishes and...more tomatoes.”

“Nah, you’ve got lots of mouths here who will take care of all that for you” Julie grinned as she waved from halfway across the driveway. “Have a good night!”

Finally, just before 10pm, Ashlyn let Persey out one last time and put the house to bed before going up the front stairs to check in on Lizzy, sleeping alone in Josie’s room for the first time in her life. The girl was fast asleep, as were both Dodge and Lily in their rooms. The keeper turned on the light in the master bedroom and went to the windows to close the wooden shutters that covered two windows on each side of the room, one side looking out onto the driveway and the other side looking down onto the side yard and the extra lot. She threw a couple more things into her suitcase which was open on the floor over by the dressing table and her side of the bed, and then went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. She knew Ali would be up soon, she was waiting to throw the towels from the washing machine into the drier before coming up to bed. 

“Hey baby” Ashlyn purred into the back of Ali’s neck when she came out of the bathroom and saw her wife standing in front of her dresser with just her bra on the top half of her body. The keeper wrapped her arms around the warm skin of her stomach and Ali responded by turning around to face her, happy smile on her pretty face. “I tease you a lot about all the moisturizer you use, but I swear, your skin is so freaking soft...” she giggled into Ali’s neck as they hugged.

Ali squirmed at the ghostlike touches and her skin broke into goosebumps as Ashlyn’s strong but tender fingers worked across her back and sides. They rotated so Ali’s back was now towards the bed as they stood at the foot of it. They both knew what was going to happen next and they were more than ready for it.

“Did you lock the door?” Ali murmured after pulling back from their first, soft and slow kiss.

“I sure did, beautiful. Checked on everything up here on the second floor too. Everything’s good” she answered slowly and methodically as her lips worked across Ali’s jawline to her chin and then over towards the other ear again.

As much as they wanted to hurry things along, remembering how worked up they had both been the night before on the porch of their cabin at The Academy, there was a sense of ease and calm filling the room with them. They both knew they weren’t going to be able to do this again for almost 3-1/2 weeks but they hadn’t discussed what that meant to the evening’s activities. They both wanted to savor the night and take their time, even though it was risky with kids, especially injured kids sleeping away from home, all around them. Somehow they had managed to be on the same page even about that. Ali smiled as she felt her wife slowly slide her hands down to her ass, still wearing the shorts she’d had on all day long. The brunette regretted not finding time for a shower that night as they got reacclimated to being home and spent time with family after coming back from camp. 

“Let’s take a shower” she suggested, hot breath close to Ashlyn’s skin, with a tantalizing lick to the outer edge of her keeper’s ear.

“Oooh, I like that idea” Ashlyn smirked as she squeezed big handfuls of her wife’s ass in both hands while they continued kissing. 

They made out for a long time, still standing in place at the foot of the bed, hands moving slowly but purposefully over soft, waiting skin. Ali finally nudged things along by bringing her hands between their bodies and squeezing Ashlyn’s breasts. This made the keeper stop for a few seconds to pull her shirt off over her head and drop it behind her to the floor – just as Ali knew it would. She chuckled into the next fiery but still languid kiss, pleased with herself for getting more skin to skin contact.

“Jesus you feel good” she husked out, getting more and more turned on with the intense kisses they were sharing. “Ready to get wet with me, in the shower?” she teased and bit Ashlyn’s bottom lip, pulling it away from her mouth as she leaned her head back. She released it and then licked her keeper’s lips while Ashlyn tried to find words to say.

“Already there baby, fucking hell you’re sexy” she moaned as Ali licked her lips. 

The room felt incredibly hot and Ashlyn was all of a sudden aware of the fact that they were both wearing too many clothes. She reached behind Ali’s back and deftly undid the bra clasp there, pulling the straps forward while pushing her wife back onto the bed at the same time. She felt her passion gush between her legs as she watched Ali’s body bounce on the bed, small breasts moving while the brunette freed herself from her bra. Ali lifted her hips when her keeper leaned over her and hooked her fingers into the waistband of her shorts and panties.

“I really want to take a shower with you, babe” she whined as she brought a hand down to her own short hairs and combed through them self-consciously.

“Ok, we will, I promise...” Ashlyn spoke slowly as she focused on her wife’s gorgeous body while she quickly stripped the rest of her own clothes off. “But fuck me, Al, I’ve gotta taste you first. Goddamn you’re so beautiful. I want you so bad, baby.”

Ashlyn spread Ali’s legs out as she leaned onto the bed between them, but the brunette closed them again before she could work her way up to her crotch.

“No, shower first” she pouted, bottom lip out and lashes blinking slowly as she moved both hands to cover what her wife was after.

“Ali, I haven’t taken a shower yet either, not since this morning, just like you” Ashlyn quirked an eyebrow at her wife as she kissed the back of her hands still in place. “I know you don’t love shower sex, so just let me take care of you first, then we can...”

Ali had a hard time concentrating on whatever the next thing Ashlyn said was because the keeper was trailing her fingertips up and down both of her legs and pressing warm, open-mouthed kisses to whatever flesh she could reach around the brunette’s protective hands. Ashlyn’s soft, warm lips were at the top of her thighs and her hip bone and then her fucking sweet spot, under the wave tattoo she had gotten just for her. Fuck that felt so good. The blonde was still moving slowly but it felt like her lips were everywhere, all at once and when she moved one of her hands up to tease Ali’s nipples it was all over. Without making the conscious decision to move her hands out of the way or allow her wife entrance to her most sensitive area, the brunette felt one of her hands grab onto the shock of blonde hair at the top of Ashlyn’s head. Ali’s other hand reached for the back of her wife’s head, digging her nails into the short hair down by her neck and gently raking up. As soon as she was conscious of those two new sensations and about to process what they meant, Ali felt something wonderful between her legs and closed her eyes and enjoyed it.

“Oh my fucking God...” she moaned as she slid her legs open again. “Jesus...”

“Mmmmmm...you taste so fucking good” Ashlyn hummed loudly into her wife’s now open pussy, her face buried deep and already covered in overflowing passion that had been stockpiling there during the debate about how to start their sexy times that night. “I could spend 3 weeks right here, between your legs, like this” she moaned as she took her time and licked every inch of Ali’s entrance. 

Ashlyn used long strokes, with one finger helping to spread her brunette’s folds open so she could suck her way back down to the bottom and start over with another long lick up to the top of her slit. She was careful to use just as much suction as pressure as she worked her way around Ali’s pussy in wide circles and then straight lines. Ashlyn knew by the way her wife was pressing the back of her head into her center that Ali was enjoying the activity, a lot. The brunette’s back was arched off the bed and her legs were spread out wide and bent up at the knee, her heels barely digging into the foot of the bed because they hadn’t bothered to move up more towards the head of the bed. 

“Fuck Ash...Mmmmmmmm...shit that feels good” she panted out as her heartrate picked up from all the sultry stimulation. “God I love your mouth. Oooooh, yeah, just like that...”

Ashlyn could feel how far gone the brunette was and she hadn’t even stuck her tongue inside her yet. This was another example of how turned on they both got when they knew they were going to have sex. Ashlyn had been thinking about it all day and she was sure her girl had been too. The little mewls and whimpers that came out of Ali’s throat as they got going were driving the keeper crazy. She pinched one of the brunette’s nipples hard and felt her own core twitch when Ali gasped and then moaned loudly. 

“Oh, yeah baby...do you like that?” she moaned into Ali’s sopping wet pussy, moving her face side to side and using her nose to tease the bottom of her clit just a bit. “Mmmmmm...I love your sexy nipples, always so stiff and ready for me, so hard.”

Ashlyn pinched the other nipple just as hard, getting the same passionate sounds out of her wife, and then scratched her short nails all the way down Ali’s side with her free hand, digging in deep and making the brunette roar and sit halfway up to see what the hell was going on. Her eyes flew open and they were darker than Ashlyn could remember seeing them in a very long time. 

“What the fuck?” she panted out, wild-eyed as she tried to focus on the blonde’s face buried between her legs and groaning in a low, steady moan.

Ashlyn loved the way her wife’s body shuddered as it tried to get its bearings after the harsh new sensation. Ali was usually the one leaving scratch marks on the keeper’s body, but Ashlyn hadn’t been able to resist. Before Ali had a real chance to catch her breath, the keeper plunged her tongue deep inside her pussy and began thrusting it hard and fast. Ali pulled her wife’s hair in an uncontrolled response and her eyes almost crossed when she felt how far inside Ashlyn’s tongue was. One of her legs twitched and she flopped back down onto the bed with a loud, approving groan.

“Ohhhhh...unnnnhhhh...fuck yeah...unnnhhh...don’t stop babe...Fuck!” she shouted.

Ashlyn used both hands on Ali’s hips and pushed her up higher onto the bed so she could kneel between her legs without falling off. Ali yelped in surprise and then tried to help with the repositioning but she was practically useless, as well as unwilling to let go of Ashlyn’s head for even a second. Her body was moving and jerking around as if a live wire was inside it and it was all Ashlyn could do to hold onto her with both arms wrapped up around her thighs. The keeper loved when her wife got like this. It was like riding a bucking bronco and it was one of Ashlyn’s favorite things in the world. Ali’s hips rolled as her body jerked wildly. She pushed down onto the heels of her feet and lifted her whole body up off the bed for a few seconds and then dropped it back down before rotating her hips to one side and bucking up into Ashlyn’s mouth. It was the best roller coaster ride in the world and the keeper knew she would never ever get tired of riding it. She held on as long as she could, making magic happen with her strong tongue and warm, wanting mouth. After letting Ali buck for several minutes she felt her legs tremble again and knew it was time for the final twist to the ride. When Ali took a break between her thrashing around, Ashlyn slid her mouth up, still locked onto her tightly with strong suction, and took her whole clit inside with a loud moan.

“Ashlyn!” she cried out as the strong new feeling made her mind fuzzy with pleasure. She threw her arms out to either side of her and grabbed the comforter, holding on for dear life as her wife continued to suck hard on her sensitive nub. “Jesus fucking Christ...” she panted.

Ashlyn got on her knees, never taking her mouth away from her brunette’s needy clit, and slid two fingers inside Ali’s pulsing core. She moaned non-stop against her wife’s clit, adding strong flicks and some daring nips to the repertoire there while she began to fuck her hard and fast.

“Mmmmmm...oh fuck...Mmmmmmm...you like that baby? Is that what you want?” the keeper grunted and groaned as her own breathing started to become labored under her efforts.

“Yes. Unnnnhhhh...” Ali’s body rocked and shook with Ashlyn’s fast rhythm. Her hands still clinging to the bed as if her life depended on it. “Yes. Unnnnhhhh...Oh God...unnnnhhh...Fuck yes!”

It didn’t take long after that. Ashlyn felt the pressure inside her wife’s silken walls get stronger and more constricted so it was harder and harder to thrust her fingers. She looked up her wife’s body and saw that her mouth was already half-open and slack as she bounced along, moaning and groaning and whining her approval and pleasure. The keeper’s tongue was getting tired and she wasn’t sure she could apply the strong fast pressure she needed to get Ali off so she used the fingers from her other hand and began to rub her clit hard and fast. She watched as Ali’s body wound up and up and up, ready to spring. She pumped her fingers inside and tried to angle them up to hit her g-spot and after almost two minutes of both intense ministrations, Ali’s orgasm rushed in with a short, loud, shout from the brunette.

“OH!!!” she yelled out as her body curled up and then started to shake.

Ali pushed her wife’s hand away from her clit and rolled onto her side, groaning the whole time as she rode out her release. She curled her legs up until she was in the fetal position but reached back and held Ashlyn’s wrist tightly, keeping her fingers deep inside her as she twitched and panted and gasped for air.

“Yes, beautiful, so fucking beautiful” Ashlyn purred as she pressed kisses into her wife’s upper thigh and ass. She spooned her as best she could, with the fingers of her right hand still inside the brunette, and made as much skin to skin contact as possible. “God I love doing that” she exhaled as she tried to catch her breath. “That’s the fucking best thing in the whole world” she smiled into another hot kiss, this one to the side of Ali’s slightly sweaty breast.

“I...love...you...” Ali gasped out and squeezed her wife’s back and body everywhere she could reach with her one outstretched arm on top of her body. “Come...up here...”

“I’ll need to bring these with me” Ashlyn wiggled her two fingers still buried inside her beautiful brunette and made her squeal.

“Take them out!” she laughed, breathlessly. “Come hold me...for a minute” she pulled on her wife to make sure she understood what she wanted.

Ashlyn spooned her properly, licking her fingers right beside her wife’s ear and moaning loudly, knowing it turned her on when she did that.

“I love you too” she pressed a sweet kiss into Ali’s cheek when she was done with her fingers. “And I fucking love doing that. You’re amazing honey. So fucking hot and sexy. Goddamn you drive me wild” her words were thick and heavy and told Ali just how worked up the keeper was.

Ashlyn started to grind against Ali’s ass, both of them knowing it would be fun for a few minutes but not really achieve very much.

“Are you ready for our shower now?” Ali rolled the top of her body back into Ashlyn and turned her head so they could share a hot, passionate kiss.

“Not really in the mood to leave this bed right now” Ashlyn mumbled against her lips between slow, deep kisses.

“After we shower I’ll give you your favorite spot” Ali made the offer she knew her wife couldn’t refuse.

“Well what the hell are we waiting for?” Ashlyn’s eyebrows jumped up in excitement and she kissed her way down the brunette’s body on her way off the bed. She smirked to herself when she saw the angry red scratches she had left on Ali’s side. If she was honest, she wasn’t upset about giving the brunette something to remember her by while she was gone. And, for the first time since they started that night, her actions as she moved off the bed were rushed and Ali called her on it.

“Somebody’s eager now” she chuckled and let her wife lead her by the hand towards the master bathroom.

After some steamy shower sex where Ali gave her wife two strong orgasms, they went back to bed and pulled the covers down. Ashlyn assumed they were going to call it a night and didn’t expect the brunette to honor her previous promise. She figured the double bang in the shower made it all square so she started to pull on some fresh sleep shorts.

“What the hell are you doing?” Ali quirked her eyebrow as she knelt in the middle of their bed, buck naked with her hands on her hips and a sexy smile on her lips.

“I thought...” Ashlyn stammered as she turned to take in the gorgeous sight.

“Well you thought wrong, All-star” Ali swayed her hips slowly from side to side and then changed to a more circular motion while she bit her bottom lip. “I’ve got a certain spot to get into and I need you on your back, right here” she pointed down at the bed beneath her “so I can do that” she winked. “Now get over here.”

Ashlyn didn’t skip a beat. She tossed the sleep shorts on top of the dresser and jumped onto the bed like a horny teenager, flopping over onto her back and nearly sending Ali flying off the bed. They both laughed and shared a few kisses before Ali pulled away.

“You don’t have to you know” Ashlyn said sweetly as she watched her wife place soft kisses down the middle of her chest all the way to her neatly trimmed short hairs.

“I know” Ali grinned at her as she progressed along the path, kneeling next to Ashlyn’s beautiful body. “I want to. A lot.”

“You’re just trying to kill me before I go away so all I’ll be able to think about is your sweet ass and... everything else” she paused, unable to form words as she watched her wife straddle her body backwards and bend over so her ass and pussy were right on Ashlyn’s chest, right up near her face, in her favorite 69 position. Ashlyn’s favorite spot.

The brunette lowered the top of her body down and she ran her fingers through her wife’s folds and around her sensitive bud, using just the faintest pressure. She placed a gentle kiss to her clit and pulled Ashlyn’s thighs up so her knees were bent and her heels on the bed. Ali turned her head and tugged lightly on the skin of her wife’s inner thigh with her teeth, letting her tongue soothe the bite afterwards. 

“Well...” the brunette’s voice was as sexy and suggestive as Ashlyn had ever heard it. “Is it working?”


	13. Missing Mama

The three weeks went by very slowly, with Ashlyn missing her wife and family more than she remembered missing them ever before. She couldn’t believe that she used to travel so much more when she was playing and even the first few years after she retired when she was doing the Lifetime TV game of the week interviews every single week. That was nuts. She still did some of those interviews but Lifetime TV had smartened up and used more than one interviewer and taped them all in advance as schedules worked for those involved. For example, they knew the USWNT members in the NWSL would be going through Boston to play the Breakers at least once a year, so they hired Ashlyn during those times and taped their interviews. Sometimes Ashlyn flew to NYC for two days and did more interviews for Lifetime TV or the Mental Health Initiative. But all of those trips were usually very short, not more than two nights away and typically only one night away. The keeper didn’t like to miss the kid activities and games and performances if there was any way around it. And both she and Ali took their little league coaching duties seriously. 

The brunette also travelled occasionally for work, but not as often as Ashlyn. Ali would fly to wherever the big potential client was if she was needed to help close a deal or sign the next best athlete to the K-H team. She enjoyed her overnight trips more than Ashlyn seemed to but they both understood why. The keeper had been travelling so much her entire life, she was just tired of it. Ashlyn had flown and bussed to and from all the NWSL teams during her playing career. She had been all over the country and in many different places in the world as she covered women’s soccer as a broadcast analyst and expert. The keeper enjoyed travelling, if she really sat and thought about it, but when compared to being at home with her wife and young children during what were the most formative years of their lives – well, nothing could possibly compare to that. Ashlyn hated to leave them, still in 2029 even though the kids weren’t babies anymore. She knew it sounded silly to some people, but she didn’t feel like her best self without her wife and kids around. 

Three weeks felt like an eternity to Ashlyn that summer. If she was being completely honest, she didn’t really want to go at all. In fact, she had talked with Ali about declining the prestigious invite. But cooler and smarter heads prevailed and Ali convinced her that she would have lots of help and would find a way to manage all four kids by herself while the keeper was away. Ashlyn never pushed the point again, not willing to admit out loud how much she was dreading the separation. 

For Ali, the 3 weeks went by faster than it did for Ashlyn, but she still couldn’t understand how it could feel both slow and fast at the same time. She went to bed absolutely exhausted every single night, many nights not much later than the kids, and it felt like the time was flying by. But then, in the next moment, it felt like forever since she had seen her favorite face and held her wife close. Time seemed to be moving at an agonizing, glacial pace during those moments and August 6th couldn’t get there soon enough for the brunette.

The kids seemed to take everything in stride. They were used to one of their moms going on a work trip and they understood that they always came back home again. Once that fear had been assuaged, the kids had been able to see the work trips differently. They found the silver lining and the upside and they did it relatively quickly. They all knew by then that whenever one of their moms was pulling single-parent duty there was a good chance they would get to bend a few rules and enjoy a few extra treats and extended screen time just because the single parent didn’t have enough time to do everything the normal way. Ashlyn gave in easier than Ali did, but the brunette still caved out of sheer necessity sometimes. Things weren’t completely different though. It wasn’t a madhouse or anything. But the kids all knew if they pushed the envelope just a bit more than usual they could probably get away with whatever they were trying to do. For this work trip, Ali had wisely enlisted the aid of her mother and Mike, as well as back-up troops like Carm and Kacey, and Ali’s other friends Liz, Erica, Jessie and Heather. Sydney brought the boys over for an extended sleepover during the beginning of the second week of the EUROs and that was a fun diversion. Ali worked from home three days a week unless two or more kids were attending one of their camps. She didn’t feel bad having her mom and Mike watch two kids all day long, but four felt like too much. Of course, Deb told her she was crazy and that she was fine with watching all four kids, but Ali knew how challenging it could be. It wasn’t that she doubted her mother because she knew Deb could still handle the kids better than almost anyone else besides she and Ashlyn. Ali just didn’t want her mom and Mike to have to work that hard – it was just that simple. 

This prolonged single-parent stint was no different than any of the others, from the kids’ perspective, except that it was much longer than the other times one of their moms would travel for work. Nobody could remember the last time Ashlyn had been gone for more than a few days. All four kids missed their Mama and it was cute to see them realize it on their own terms in their own time. Drew got mopey about a week into Ashlyn’s absence. He seemed distracted and not even his video games could hold his interest the way they usually did that second week. All of the kids had been watching the EURO games as often as possible, eager to see and hear Mama being famous. There was a 7-hour time difference between Boston and Israel. Israel was ahead of them, so the Kriegers watched the live streams at 9am and 12pm, and then checked in with Ashlyn via FaceTime after the games were done and she was back at her hotel for the night.

Ali and Deb smiled as they spied on Drew early in the second week of Ashlyn’s trip. The playroom of the basement had been set up so the back of the couch was a few feet away from the interior wall, where the stairs were. This created a walkway behind the couch and gave access to the storage area under the stairs. The television entertainment center was across from the couch on the exterior wall at the driveway side of the house. It was moderately controlled chaos down there with some bookshelves and the new-fangled bean bag chair and all of the kids’ toys that were too big to fit into the storage closet underneath the stairs. There were two small basement windows letting in some natural light – one on the driveway side and one on the front side, to the right as you sat on the couch and faced the exterior wall. There were two big toyboxes that had been used and abused and colored on and carved into and beaten into submission. This room got less supervision than anything upstairs because the kids were often alone down there for stretches of time. Whichever mom was home knew enough to go check on things periodically or if it got too quiet down there. That was the nice thing about kids playing loudly together – you could usually hear what was going on and then go to the top of the stairs and yell down whatever was necessary to keep the peace or stop some damage from happening. But not always.

Things got broken all the time in the big old house and both Ashlyn and Ali had gotten used to it over the years. They tried their best to establish and maintain rules that were designed to protect the kids foremost, but also to try and protect their home from being completely destroyed by four active children and their friends. Ashlyn in particular got upset about the disrespect the kids showed the big old house and let them know, frequently. Ali reminded her that they couldn’t live in a museum and encouraged her to move things that were truly important to her into safer areas, like the front parlor that had remained off-limits to both kids and dogs. Miraculously, and due to a lot of effort from both Ali and Ashlyn when the kids were very young and learning the boundaries of their home, the front parlor hadn’t incurred any major damage yet. It was the most special room in the house and the kids treated it almost like a museum when they were allowed in there. It was Josie’s favorite room because of the piano it housed and also, more than a little bit because it was off-limits most of the time. By separating it from the rest of the house in terms of accessibility, Ali and Ashlyn had created an unspoken demand for it. It was off-limits, therefore all children felt compelled to enter it. Ashlyn’s favorite part about the front parlor was that every time she brought any of the kids into it she made sure to talk about Grandma Lilian and Grandpa John and the history of the big old house they were all lucky enough to live in.

When it came to broken things, Drew and Dodge were the two who did most of the damage and it wasn’t because they were boys. Drew was the oldest and he and Ethan and other friends sometimes would go down to the basement and play indoor dodgeball, for example. The two moms had learned early on that nothing of any value went into the playroom. There were no pictures or keepsakes hung on the walls or placed on the shelves. The only thing on the walls down there were drawings or paintings the kids had made themselves and then taped up onto the painted plaster. There was a clock hung on the wall that had been replaced at least a dozen times. Ashlyn finally heard about a protective cage that had been designed to protect clocks in some tough places like gymnasiums and behavioral hospitals and other buildings where things got thrown around a lot. The kids took the cage around the clock as a challenge at first, but the only way to get it to come down was to unscrew it and that was just no fun. 

The wall clock was important because the moms used it to help the kids determine how much time they had left to do whatever it was they were doing down there before being called up for dinner or bedtime or whatever. It wasn’t a digital clock either. The moms wanted to make sure their kids could read regular clocks and understand how to count the minutes by following the minute-hand on the clock itself. They used a typical countdown system that had worked well over the years. Drew and Lily needed the 15-minute countdown the most, which surprised nobody who knew the kids. Dodge often came right upstairs at the 15-minute warning just because he was excited to go to whatever was happening next. Josie was the same way but she was less enthusiastic about whatever the next event was – her goal in heading up early was to be able to put her shoes on or wash her hands before mealtime in relative peace with only Dodge to deal with instead of all three of her young siblings. Dodge came up early due to excitement and Josie did it for more practical reasons. Drew and Lily had to be given a 10-minute reminder and then a 5-minute reminder to get them to come up anywhere close to when they were supposed to. Drew was usually wrapped up in a video game and trying to complete a level and get to a save point so it was sort of legitimate in his case. But Lily just did it to do it. She wasn’t even doing anything downstairs that required extra time, but she took it because it had been offered. And also because she was the least decisive of the kids and genuinely hadn’t decided how she felt about whatever the next activity was that she was being called upstairs for. Badgering your kids to do something you asked them to do was never ever fun. It was frustrating and annoying for both moms but it was pretty typical kid-behavior and they knew it. All the parents they knew struggled the same way. The playroom in the basement had been a Godsend and both Ali and Ashlyn were happy to have it every single day. The keeper teased her wife about being happier about the playroom than she had been about the soaking tub in the renovated master bathroom. The brunette couldn’t argue, admitting that yes, most times she did appreciate the playroom more. 

The two grinning women squatted on the stairs down to the basement and watched Drew sitting on the couch down there, his video game paused and his attention fully on the new smartphone in his hands. It wasn’t a full-access smartphone. There were limits to what it could do and more parental controls on it than either Ali or Ashlyn had ever seen in their lives. But it was a starter phone that had been specially designed for exactly their situation. Nervous parents giving their maturing child a powerful tool that could be mis-used and abused in a heartbeat. All Drew’s phone could do was work like an actual phone – take and make phone calls and FaceTimes; play some video games; and text message. The texts could only be sent to and received from the Contacts in the phone and those contacts all had to be approved by a parent. The phone part worked the same way, roughly, but with not quite as strict controls. Drew had asked for a phone for his 10th birthday but his moms had been saving it up for the beginning of the next school year. They wanted to use it as a reward for Drew working hard with the child psychologist all summer long to try and get his stomach situation figured out. But when Ali saw how discombobulated he was without Ashlyn around, she caved. She knew her wife was feeling more than a little homesick for her babies too and hoped this surprise might make both she and Drew feel better. It was 2pm in Boston and 9pm in Israel and the boy had been waiting an hour after getting the phone to text with his Mama. Ali wouldn’t let him even try until 2pm because she knew Ashlyn wouldn’t be alone in her hotel room until then.

Drew: Hi Mama! It’s me, Drew!  
Drew: Are you there?  
Drew: Mama?  
Mama: Who is this???  
Drew: It’s me!  
Drew: Drew. Your son.  
Mama: That can’t be – my son doesn’t have his own phone yet...  
Drew: But it IS me.  
Mama: You’ll have to prove it. I’ll ask you some questions that any son of mine would be able to answer. Are you ready?  
Drew: Mama, really?  
Mama: Have you ever had a broken arm?  
Drew: Yes!  
Mama: Hmmm, both my sons have broken their arms...I’m not sure yet.  
Mama: Who’s the Red Sox’ best closer so far this summer?  
Drew: Navarro should be but Adderly is the best.  
Mama: Good answer, that was kind of a trick question, but you got it. ;)  
Mama: What are the beds that my four youngest kids slept in when they first got their big boy/girl beds?  
Drew: I had a shark bed. Josie had a princess bed. Dodge has a race car bed. Lily has Dora.  
Mama: Wow! Great job again! This really must be my son Drew. But who’s phone are you using?  
Drew: Mama!!! I got my own phone. I’m trying to tell you!  
Mama: You did?! Wow! You must be a pretty good kid to get your own phone. I’m sure you know that it will be taken away as soon as you stop being a good kid, right?  
Drew: Mom told me already.   
Mama: Good.

Ashlyn then proceeded to take about 10 pictures of herself with increasingly ridiculous faces and poses and sent them to the boy’s new phone, making him laugh harder than anyone had heard in over a week. The stairs creaked as Deb turned to go back up them to the first floor and Drew turned around to see Ali smiling back at him. She joined him on the basement couch and entered Mama as an approved number he could FaceTime with and the three of them shared a nice conversation for a few minutes, grinning at each other like idiots over the small screens. Ali caught the quirked eyebrow her wife sent her way as soon as Ashlyn’s big, beautiful face appeared on the screen.

“I’m sorry” she shrugged in surrender, still wearing a bright smile. “You were both so sad and mopey I had to take drastic measures. Forgive me?”

“I guess so. Well, it’s the best surprise I’ve had in over a week. Thanks baby” Ashlyn blinked at her wife through the screen.

“What game was today?” Drew’s voice interrupted them.

“Italy beat Switzerland” Ashlyn replied, bringing her attention back to their son. “And Germany destroyed Finland” she updated the boy. “It was my group’s travel day and we’re all back at the hotel now, getting ready for tomorrow.”

“Your games are tomorrow?” he asked for clarification.

“Yep, you got it bud” the keeper grinned at the boy.

“Who plays tomorrow?” he asked, apparently not caring much about knock-out rounds at that moment.

“Denmark and Portugal in the first match and then Spain and Norway.”

“Who’s gonna win?” he asked, cutting right to the chase and making both his moms chuckle.

“Well they have to play the games, goofball” Ali nudged his shoulder. “She’s an expert analyst but she’s not psychic.”

Josie dealt with missing her Mama by drawing her pictures and was the first kid to write her a letter. Ali wasn’t convinced that there was enough time to actually physically mail the letter to Ashlyn. She did some research and found that it could take anywhere from 7 – 14 days for delivery and the keeper would be home before then, especially because Josie didn’t write the letter until the beginning of week 2. Instead, Ali let Josie seal the envelope, put the Krieger return address label in the upper left of the envelope and then the postage stamps in the upper right corner. She helped the girl put the envelope in the mailbox at the foot of the driveway and lift the red flag on the side so the mailman would know there was something to go out. An hour later Ali ‘remembered’ that she had something else to go in the mailbox and went down to add the outgoing bills while surreptitiously tucking Josie’s letter, complete with drawing and stickers and glitter, into the back of her shorts. She stayed up til midnight and called her wife at 7am Israel time to read the letter to her. They both laughed at how cute and sweet it was and the brunette was pretty sure she could hear her wife struggling to control some tears. She snapped a picture of the letter and the drawing and texted them to Ashlyn when they were done so the keeper could pretend to receive it via the mail in a few days. 

“How come Mama didn’t write back to me?” the redhead asked with a pout at the beginning of the third week.

Ali’s heart stopped when she heard the question and she couldn’t believe that neither she nor Ashlyn had thought that far ahead. 

“Ummm...” she stalled as they made their way through the grocery store together one morning. “Mama’s so busy with her job that she just hasn’t had enough time to write you a letter sweetheart. She’s not on summer vacation like you are” she tossed out there and hoped for the best.

Josie scrunched her face up and then dropped her shoulders with a resigned sigh. 

“She probably doesn’t have any crayons either and she likes to draw, like me” she explained to Ali as if the brunette didn’t know either of them at all. “That’s prob’ly why too” she nodded. “I bet if she had crayons she’d draw me a picture and mail it in a letter.”

“I bet you’re right little one” Ali smiled at her daughter who was helping by pushing the shopping cart for her Mommy. “We’ll have to ask her this afternoon.”

Lily’s method of dealing with Ashlyn’s absence was to ask what her Mama was doing at any given time of the day. It didn’t matter where they were or what time it was or who they were with, Lily would pepper Ali with a million questions about what Ashlyn was doing at that very moment during her work trip. It was cute at first, but when Lily proved to be extraordinarily diligent and consistent with the questions, it got old pretty fast. Even Deb lost her patience before the first week had gone by.

“Lily, baby girl, I don’t know what she’s doing right now. But five minutes ago we decided she was probably just getting on the train for her travel day so I’m gonna say that’s still what she’s doing” Deb tried to satisfy the girl’s curiosity and maybe insecurity.

“But...”

“Lily, that’s enough now honey” Deb’s voice was about as harsh as it ever got unless somebody was really misbehaving. “You either call her and ask her or you find something else to do with your mind. We’re not doing any more questions about Mama’s day until after lunch. That’s enough.”

“Aw, Grandma” the girl whined but knew better than to argue when Deb’s voice had that edge to it. She pouted for a minute and then, when Deb kept working on cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast and ignoring her, she sulked off to find Persey, kicking at the small stuffed soccer ball on the floor as she went. “I miss Mama.”

Dodge took a more physical angle, which surprised absolutely nobody. Drew was old enough to keep track of the schedule of games for the tournament and he could tell the other kids, if they asked him, who was playing the next match that Ashlyn would be calling. As they progressed through the first few group stage games Dodge realized that he loved Norway’s flag and colors. The colors were very close to the USA’s red white and blue but the style looked almost like a horizontal cross. Deb helped him take one of his most red t-shirts and color the white-outlined, blue stripes where the cross would be across his chest. From that point on, in any free time he had during the final two weeks of the tournament, Dodge raced around the basement or house or backyard acting out a live play-by-play of Norway and whatever team they were playing. Sometimes one or more of the other kids would join him but usually it was just him by himself – only Persey and the soccer ball at his feet.

And both Ashlyn and Ali missed each other like crazy the longer the separation lasted. The physical contact between them, even just the everyday little pats and hipchecks and gentle glancing touches as they passed by each other in the big old house, had always been really important to them both. Even before they had figured it out, they were always touching each other somehow, some way. It was during a joint therapy session with Mattie a few years before the Israel trip that they had been made aware of how physical their relationship actually was. They both had vivid memories of what it felt like when they made contact with the other, as far back as the first summer they became friends and started spending some time together. It wasn’t even a sexual thing, although it made sense to them both that sex was so important to the well-being of their relationship after learning about how vital the small acts of physical proximity and touching were to them too.

Ashlyn missed her wife almost every minute of every day that she wasn’t talking about soccer on live tv. She knew her brain was focusing on Ali so that it didn’t have to think about how much she missed the kids too. The keeper was more than a little homesick. She was in a foreign country and she didn’t speak the language and she didn’t feel as close to her broadcast teammates as she had in Germany. She loved being on Broadcast Team A with Camila and Lucy Bronze but she hadn’t been able to bond with them as quickly as she had with Birgit Prinz back in Germany. She felt closest to Wendie Renard but the tall French defender was heading up Broadcast Team B, relying on her 3 years of experience in the broadcast booth in her native country. Nobody had anywhere near the experience of Ashlyn but Wendie was the closest. Both Lucy and Camila were wonderful and friendly and knowledgeable and the broadcasts, for both teams, were very successful and popular. But Ashlyn felt very much on her own that trip. When she confessed as much to Whitney over the phone during the long second week of the tournament the lawyer gently reminded her that she had taken her family with her for the last several big tournament trips. As usual, Whitney was right and that reminder made Ashlyn feel better about her loneliness, knowing that it wasn’t all in her head. The only thing that saved her from falling into a deep funk and maybe a bout of depression was the fact that she was simply too busy. But when she got a couple of hours to herself and had some downtime, her thoughts raced back to her beautiful brunette. 

“So...what are you wearing?” she teased early one morning as she spoke with her wife on the phone from her hotel room in the middle of week 2. 

It was 5:30am in Israel and she had woken up early to keep their phone date. It was too early for Ashlyn in Israel and very late for Ali back at home. 

“My jammies” Ali chuckled at 10:30pm, inwardly amused by the fact that her wife was trying to steer them down the road to phone sex, not knowing Ali had resorted to putting a big ol’ hydrating mud mask all over her face in an effort to stay awake. She hadn’t shaved her bikini area for almost 2 weeks either – Ashlyn wasn’t there to see it so what was the point? Also, it was really hard keeping track of all four kids by herself while working full-time. Something had to give and that had been it. “Why?”

“Which jammies?” Ashlyn’s voice was low and sultry, the morning rasp aiding her plan. She was determined to stay on track despite the lighthearted sound in her wife’s voice. “My favorite ones?”

“No” Ali laughed out loud, her short, sharp shout of a laugh. “I threw those out, finally.”

“Aw, baby, I loved those...” the keeper whined and blew out an exasperated breath.

“You only loved them because there was a big rip in them. I know how it is” Ali giggled, knowing she was 100% correct.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that you wear jammies that are so old and thin that they ripped while you were sleeping. I had nothing to do with it” Ashlyn laughed and then yawned, stretching from her comfortable place in the big, half-empty bed.

“First of all, it’s wore, because I threw them away. Secondly, they were soft and comfy and I loved how thin they were, especially in the summer...” she defended herself and her former favorite, dark blue, Indian-themed pajama pants with the busy patterns and small elephants all over them. “And thirdly, I woke up one morning with a rip in the back of my jammies” her voice couldn’t hide the playfulness even though she was trying to pretend to be offended, “what are the chances you didn’t have something to do with that?”

The truth was that the thin, lightweight material had simply torn while the brunette rolled over in her sleep one night, but that wasn’t any fun and they both knew it. Teasing each other and laughing together was still their favorite thing to do, well – second favorite but it was so much easier to find and make time to do than to have sex in a household with four little kids.

“Well you know how I feel about your ass...” Ashlyn laughed again.

“My point exactly” Ali giggled and quirked her eyebrow.

They didn’t have phone sex that night, but the next night Ali surprised her wife with an adults-only FaceTime call which she took on the bed wearing only one of Ashlyn’s old, Carolina Blue, UNC t-shirts and a sultry smile. It didn’t take long for the two women to get lost in each other and the visuals from the camera. That, along with the sexy sounds they both made as they played with themselves, finally brought them over the edge – fingers pumping and rubbing their own sweet flesh as they pretended it was their missing love. Watching each other masturbate on their laptops and iPads was never as good as in person, but when 5,500 miles separated your physical bodies you had to get creative. Ashlyn went back to sleep for a couple of hours afterward, already tired from the two early-morning phone dates in a row. And Ali drifted off as well, feeling more connected to her wife than she had since Ashlyn had left 13 days earlier. It would just have to do. 

 

**********  
7-15-29

Had another close call with Janice today. I wish she’d just leave me the fuck alone. It doesn’t matter what the fuck I do, it’s never the right thing. God, I hate her so much. Now, after years of telling me to get up and out of my room, she thinks I’m spending too much time away from the house. That’s bullshit. She’s just mad bc she can’t keep her eye on me all the time anymore. Like she doesn’t think I know she has Mrs. Sipowicz spy on me when she’s at work? She thinks I’m an idiot – and I’m not. I did what she wanted and now she doesn’t like it. Well too fucking bad. She’d better just stay out of my way if she knows what’s good for her. And that goes for Mrs. Sipowicz too. Dumb old bat. 

I’m finally figuring out the summer schedule and getting good at getting into the treehouse and out again. There’s an Inn that faces the beach at the bottom of their street and I can park my car there sometimes and then walk up to the empty lot and duck into the woods there without anybody noticing me. There are some condos or apartments or something on the next street over – the block behind their house and sometimes I can park there. A couple of times though I’ve had to park all the way back up at the supermarket and that’s a pain. If that happens again I might try to park in the ‘for sale’ house across the street. I don’t know about that though. That garage roof at the ‘for sale’ house is still the best spot during the day to watch the driveway and everybody coming and going. But at night the treehouse is the best so I can see that side of the house on both the first floor and the second floor.

I haven’t seen them do anything together, like kissing or anything, since Thursday night. I still can’t believe that happened. She’s such a good kisser...at least she used to be. I’m sure she still is. I’ll keep watching though. I wish I had seen more...like, what do they do together? Who’s the one who starts things up? When we were together it was always Ali. Always...fuck I can’t think about that now or I’ll lose it. 

I wonder if Ali got my letter? I wonder if Ash reads my comments on her social media posts? Lol. I’m such a bitch. Some of her idiot fans reported my new account so I just made another one. They can report me all they want and I’ll just keep coming back. But she deserves it. She better get her shit together or Ali will leave her. At first I thought they were perfect together but now I don’t know. I don’t think Ash is good enough for her. That bitch went and judged a lesbian wet t-shirt contest once and there are pictures and videos of it and she looks like a complete moron...it was so embarrassing. Ali must have died. Ali would never have done something like that. Not in a million years. What a trashy thing to do. That’s it! That’s what it is – Ash is kind of white trash. Maybe she’s not so much anymore but that’s what her family is and that’s where she comes from. Poor white trash. It’s amazing she ever made it out of that shitty little town she came from. She’s pretty good to Ali though. At least as far as I can tell. I don’t know. I’m really torn about it. She always says nice things about her in her social media and in her interviews but it still feels like she lets Ali do all the hard work and just gets all the attention and money for it herself. That makes me so mad.  
I don’t care what good things she’s done though – Ali still deserves better. I’m gonna write her another letter and tell her that.

Like right now! I can’t believe I almost forgot about this but I’m starting to focus more on Ali now...but Ash is gone for 3 whole weeks! She left Ali and the kids to go to some stupid soccer thing for 3 fucking weeks! In the Middle East no less. What’s Ali supposed to do for that whole time? I don’t even know if she’ll go to work tomorrow or not. She can’t leave the kids home alone. She can’t bring them all to the office with her. What the fuck? Why didn’t Ash bring them with her? She brought them with her last year when they went to the Olympics in France. Why wouldn’t she do that this time? It just doesn’t make any sense. She’s so selfish. She’s probably gonna go have an awesome relaxing vacation for 3 weeks while Ali stays at home and tries to take care of all those kids. I just can’t think of a reason why Ash wouldn’t bring them with her...unless she wanted to be alone. Or not alone, but maybe she’s meeting somebody there. Maybe Ash is cheating on her with some younger, hotter soccer player or something! Oh my God – I bet that’s what’s happening. What a fucking bitch.


	14. Birthday Treasure Hunt

Ali’s 45th birthday came at the end of the second week of Ashlyn’s trip, two days after the FaceTime sex. The couple had agreed to celebrate it when the keeper returned, with Ali swearing up and down that she would be more than fine waiting. But Ashlyn couldn’t wait. It was her favorite day all year and she had always gone out of her way to shower the woman she loved with flowers and nice meals and jewelry and other favorite little things that she knew would make her wife’s day even a tiny bit better. The amount of time Ashlyn spent doing those things during Ali’s birthday had decreased over the years because somebody had to take care of the children too. They couldn’t go hungry while she spent the day pampering the brunette. Ashlyn had learned that so many of the basic, simple things made a much bigger impact on her wife now that they had four kids who were all growing and demanding more and more of their time and resources. 

Instead of a nice lunch out at the newest restaurant in Cambridge, Ashlyn made sure the grocery shopping was done a day early and included a few extra of Ali’s favorite indulgences, like dark chocolate caramels and peanut butter pretzels. Instead of spending the day trying to surprise her wife with several small gifts, Ashlyn made sure the kids got where they needed to go on time and with the correct clothes, bathing suits, musical instruments, or athletic equipment. If Ali’s birthday fell on a summer day when the kids weren’t in one of their camps, Ashlyn made sure she took them to the beach and played with them hard so they would be happy and exhausted by the time the brunette got home after work – ensuring an easier bedtime for everybody. Instead of taking Ali out to her favorite fancy restaurant for an expensive birthday dinner, Ashlyn made sure she had dinner made and on the table when her wife did get home from work so they could all enjoy the meal together, sharing stories about their days, just like Ali loved to do. There were still fancy birthday dinner dates and overnight trips to the Beauport Hotel to celebrate the big day, but they often waited until a weekend night when they could get a sitter or something like that. Ali’s actual birthday itself was usually comprised of as many of those basic everyday things as Ashlyn could manage, with some sweet love notes and several birthday cards added to the mix. The keeper could still hear Mattie Olsen’s words in her ear from one of the earliest couples sessions they had ever had. The wise therapist had urged Ashlyn not to be the knight in shining armor, running off to fight dragons in far away places, but to be a true partner assisting her wife with the mundane, everyday challenges that filled their big old house. Ashlyn had heeded the advice and the way the couple had altered birthday celebrations for each other was a wonderful example of it. 

This year Ali’s birthday was on Saturday July 28th, 2029 and Ashlyn couldn’t be there to do any of that for her. Instead, she relied on Kyle Krieger, who was spending his sister’s birthday weekend with her at the big old house, to help her with a little treasure hunt. Kyle arrived Friday mid-day and surprised Ali with his weekend visit. Nathan and the kids had stayed home so Kyle and Ali could, hopefully, have some nice sibling time together – with lots of help from Deb and Mike Christopher and Ken and Vicki Krieger. They were all going to spend Saturday together because the kids were very excited about their Mommy’s birthday – partly because Ashlyn had prepped them to make a big deal out of it before she left and had been reminding them for three days before the actual date finally arrived. Then the boys were going to spend Sunday with Deb and Mike while the girls went to Ken & Vicki’s for the day. 

Ashlyn called her birthday girl wife bright and early, but not too bright and early – 7:30am, to wish her happy birthday that Saturday. Kyle had gotten up with early-riser Dodge and let the brunette sleep in an extra hour which was perhaps the best birthday gift of all.

“Hey baby, Happy Birthday!” Ashlyn’s voice was full of excitement but trying to be quiet because she knew Ali had just woken up and hadn’t had any coffee yet.

“Hi honey, thank you” Ali yawned but then smiled and snuggled back into the covers with her phone. “I can’t believe it’s after 7:30am and I’m still in bed. It’s a birthday miracle!” she chuckled in her deep morning voice. “Wait, shouldn’t you be getting ready for a game? First quarterfinal matches of the tournament today, right?” she yawned again and then hummed a contented little hum as she listened to her favorite voice in the world.

“Yeah, I’m here already. Gotta go start pre-game in a half hour for the 4pm game...”

“Well thank you for making time to call me babe. I love you and I miss you and I can’t wait to watch your games today. The kids are excited too. It’s awesome that it’s Saturday so no camps getting in the way of the family obsession” she giggled.

“Listen, I need you to do something for me, ok? It’s really important” Ashlyn’s voice had an urgency to it that got Ali’s attention right away and she sat up in bed.

“What is it Ash? What do you need?” she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, ready to jump into action right away. “I’m up.”

“No, you don’t have to do it right this second” the keeper laughed. “But I love that you literally were ready to go, just like that. That’s my girl.”

“Well I’m up now anyway” Ali sighed and rolled her eyes but wasn’t really upset. She already felt like a queen for getting an extra hour of sleep that morning. “What’s going on babe?”

“Before halftime of the first game I need you to go to my desk in the office and look for an envelope with your name on it...”

“You mean this sweet birthday card I see on my nightstand that definitely wasn’t there when I went to bed last night?” Ali giggled and reached for the envelope with her name on it in Ashlyn’s graceful script.

“No, that’s your birthday card, silly. And what part of go to my desk in the office makes you think of our bedroom? Maybe I did wake you up too early” she chuckled.

“Ok, ok” Ali laughed and shook her head with a smile. “I’ll go to your desk. What do you need me to do with the envelope?”

“Just open it and read it. You’ll know what to do.”

“But...”

“Gotta go sugarplum” Ashlyn cut her wife off. “I love you and I hate that I can’t be with you today. I’ll make it up to you when I get home. Love you so much baby. Happy Birthday!” 

And she was gone. Ali put her phone on the nightstand and opened her birthday card. The heartfelt sentiments inside, both the pre-printed ones and the ones her loving wife had added herself, brought tears to her eyes and made her heart ache for her absent keeper. She could hear the familiar sounds of morning in the big old house coming up the backstairs as Kyle did his best to get through breakfast alone. The kids loved when Unky Kyle visited, and especially loved his solo trips which were few and far between those days. He took some beautifully candid shots of birthday breakfast that morning, Ali and all four kids still in their jammies with sleepy heads and messy faces and big grins as they crowded around Mommy in the nook. They had the laptop hooked up to the big tv in the family room so they could stream the first EURO quarterfinal elimination game at 9am. Ali tried to pay attention to the pregame show that started at 8:30am but that was impossible with the kids bouncing all over the place. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way” Kyle tilted his head and made a face at his sister as they quickly put all the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink for later. “But you should make sure you shower cuz I’ve been instructed to take a lot of pictures today.”

“Ugh, well I’m instructing you not to” she slapped his arm as they joined the kids in the front living room.

“Um...don’t you have an envelope or something to get...from...somewhere?” he winked.

“Holy shit” she whispered under her breath. “I almost forgot” she squeezed his arm as she walked quickly to the mudroom door. “I’ll be right back. Will you move the laptop and get it hooked up in there?” she nodded towards the front living room.

“I’m on it sis. Relax.”

Ali practically flew across the driveway and up the stairs to the office in the loft of the garage. She quickly scanned her wife’s desk and found the envelope in the desk drawer, underneath a 4 x 6 color photograph that made her smile instantly. There was no frame around it but it was a picture of Ali that she knew her wife loved. In it, Ali had one of the twins over her shoulder, about 1 year old, and her head was thrown back and she was laughing as she danced in what she knew was the backyard of their house. It had been taken in the summer because Dodge, at least she was pretty sure it was Dodge but Lily’s hair hadn’t grown much longer than his yet so it was really hard to tell, was wearing only a diaper and Ali only a tank-top. She was pretty sure Ashlyn had taken the picture but it could have been Kyle or one of the other family members who had so generously helped them with their wild family that summer.

Ali shook herself out of the memory and opened the envelope, not wanting to miss the beginning of the soccer game. Inside was a folded piece of paper with more of Ashlyn’s script.

‘Dearest Ali,

I can’t be there with you on your birthday and that makes me sad. But I don’t want you to be sad today so don’t think about that part. I’ve left some things for you to find today that will lead you, hopefully, and if Kyle doesn’t screw it up, to your birthday present at the very end.

I know it’s not the same but I thought it would be a fun way to feel like I’m there with you a little bit. I miss you so much baby and I can’t wait to see you and celebrate your birthday the right way with me spoiling you all day. I love you honey, more than I could ever possibly try to put down on this page. The birthday card said it better than I could. Man, I hope Kyle remembers to give that to you too. This might be a terrible idea. Lol. 

So here’s how you start – pay attention to my comments after the first game today. The words I say will tell you where to look for the first clue about where your birthday present is hidden. Once you find that clue, there’ll be more instructions for you.

Just remember I love you, more than anything, and more and more and more every single day I wake up. See you soon. 9 days and counting, baby. 

Oh! I almost forgot. This is all G rated stuff so feel free to involve the kids if you want. I’ll save the X-rated things for 9 days from now. ;)

I love you! Happy Birthday!! Have fun!!!

Love Always,  
Ashlyn  
Xxxxx  
Ooooo’

The brunette smiled and took the letter and the envelope and the picture back into the family room and told the kids and Kyle what was going on, which only brought the excitement level up even higher than it already had been. It was going to be a long day, Ali thought to herself with a sigh. But a great day. Her sweet keeper had planned a birthday present hunt for her and the kids and she couldn’t imagine anything sweeter. It was typical Ashlyn. She knew they were probably going to be hanging out at the house that day, enjoying the soccer games that they could all finally watch as a family, and she created something fun for the kids to do in between the games that still celebrated their Mommy’s birthday at the same time. Many of Ali’s friends and family were coming over for a casual backyard barbecue for dinner and cake afterward, but Ashlyn wanted something special from her to her wife before that all started.

“What does X-rated mean?” Josie asked, breaking Ali from the daydream about how lucky she was to be married to Ashlyn Michelle Harris Krieger.

The brunette looked over at the 8-year old who was holding the letter in both hands re-reading it. Ali exchanged a quick, panicked look with her brother who was doing everything in his power not to laugh out loud.

“Oh, umm...” she stalled for a minute while her mind raced. “Mama just means the X marks the spot, like for buried treasure” she lied smoothly, not willing to get into the rating system that the kids already had a dim understanding of because they knew they were supposed to only watch G rated things unless they talked to one of their parents first. “Here, I’ll take that so we don’t lose it” she reached over and took the letter from the redhead who still looked confused. “Let’s watch the game. How good does Mama sound?”

“She sounds the bestest!” Dodge jumped up, unable to contain his enthusiasm. Mommy’s birthday. Mama on tv doing soccer. A surprise visit from Unky Kyle. Birthday party cookout and cake! AND a treasure hunt for a birthday present???? This could be the best day ever as far as he was concerned. “Is it almost over?” he asked with a mixture of fear and hopefulness in his young, loud voice.

“No silly” Ali chuckled, recognizing his struggle. She knew he was enjoying watching Mama call the soccer game but that he really couldn’t wait to get the clue at the end of the game either. It was kind of torturous for the little man. “It’s almost halftime. I’m gonna go get dressed and then I’ll bring clothes down for everybody to change into at halftime. Ok?”

“No, I wanna pick my own clothes out!”  
“Can we stay in jammies all day today? Please?”  
“When are we going to the beach again? Do I need my bathing suit now?”

Josie, Lily and Drew all answered, loudly at the same time while Dodge simply took all of his clothes off in anticipation. He kept his eyes on the tv the whole time and didn’t seem disturbed by any of the comments coming from his siblings. By the 80th minute of the game Ali and Kyle had managed to clothe and feed all four kids and shower and dress themselves as well. The kitchen would need some attention at some point, but Ashlyn on the tv and a birthday treasure hunt obviously had to take precedence that day.

“Alright, alright, everybody be quiet now!” Kyle finally yelled as the referee blew her whistle to end the match. 

Ali sat on the couch ready to write down whatever her wife said on the notepad in her lap. Her hand was holding the pen, poised over the paper while she tried to hear what Lucy Bronze was saying from her position down on the pitch with some glum looking Iceland players. Dodge’s favorite team, Norway, had just beaten the still tremendously popular team from tiny Iceland and he was hopping all over the place in the official Norway jersey that Ali had bought him. She offered to buy all four kids their own jersey for their favorite team but only Dodge could pick out a clear favorite. Josie wanted to get the jersey of the team who won, but obviously nobody could predict that in the middle of week 1 when Ali had been ordering them. Ashlyn told the kids the three teams that had performed the best in the Olympics the previous summer (and that were competing in the EUROs now): Germany, France and England. Lily stubbornly tried to support the USA no matter how many times Drew, Ali and Ashlyn tried to explain to her that they weren’t even playing in the tournament. Ashlyn personally suggested Sweden and Iceland and Norway as good teams who would probably play deep into the tournament. Ali ordered a Germany jersey for herself, an England jersey for Drew, a France jersey for Josie, a Sweden jersey for Lily, and the Norway jersey for Dodge. By the time the quarterfinals started that morning, all five of those teams were still playing and everybody in the big old house was cheering hard for their temporary team.

Ashlyn’s voice came through the tv and Kyle turned the volume up even more, standing in the middle of the living room like the maestro of some crazy orchestra. They patiently listened to everything Camila and Lucy said and then, finally, Ashlyn’s voice began to wrap up the match and start the sign-off for the broadcast team.

“Norway was simply the better team today and looks to be one of the favorites to advance all the way to the Championship match” she spoke in her professional broadcaster voice trying to remember what she wanted to say in her secret message to her family back home. “But Iceland has nothing to be ashamed of. They played another excellent international tournament and will only get better as they gain more experience. The coach has some young players who will keep growing and thriving under her guidance and nurturing. If they continue to put the time and effort in between now and the next World Cup, you may be surprised at the fruit they might bear come 2031.” She winked at the camera and then signed off for the Broadcast Team A and a commercial came on the tv.

The ruckus during the next 10 minutes made Ali rethink the whole idea of doing this with the kids at all. All four of them were on top of her in seconds, asking what Mama had said and trying to read the words Ali had jotted down on her note pad. Ali gave her brother a desperate look and he helped her free herself of the kids, keeping them mostly at bay. After it was obvious that none of them had caught on, not even Drew which was a little surprising to the brunette, she read the notes with emphasis on a few important words.

“’The coach has some young players who will keep GROWING and THRIVING under her guidance and NURTURING. If they CONTINUE TO PUT THE TIME AND EFFORT IN between now and the next World Cup, you may be surprised at the FRUIT THEY MIGHT BEAR come 2031.’”

“She said surprised!” Josie announced as her face broke into a big smile.

Ali read the note three more times before Drew finally got it.

“The garden!” he yelled as he took off towards the mudroom door at a sprint, all other children and Persey following close behind.

The garden had gotten a little bit bigger each year since Ashlyn had started it back in 2026 and they were in year 4 right now. The keeper, with Carol and Deb’s and Erin Campbell-Warren’s help, had developed a pretty good system of planting certain things at certain times so the garden produced a good amount of vegetables, and fruits, all summer long and even well into September. They had never managed to grow corn but had kept churning out delicious tomatoes of all sizes and varieties. Lily had been enjoying her pickle-style cucumbers that Carol had shown the whole family how to actually pickle. They’d all been eating homemade pickles for the past year and loved them. The kids still struggled with not pulling or picking things until they were ripe. That was going to be an ongoing challenge and they all knew it. And the older the kids got, the more garden things became part of their weekly chores around the house.

“Do not touch anything until your mother and I get out there” Kyle boomed after them, surprising even Ali with the volume and serious tone of his voice. “I was given strict instructions” he winked at his sister and hustled out the door behind the kids.

After some careful and delicate sleuthing, which pretty much meant Ali had both hands on Dodge’s shoulders the whole time, ready to pull him back before he unearthed an entire section of the garden because he ‘thought he saw something’, Lily finally spotted something that looked different. There was a small birthday candle, just one of the thin individual ones, buried almost all the way. 

“I see it!!” she yelled.

“Let your mother do it now, it’s her birthday remember” Kyle spoke softer this time and his whole face was one ginormous grin as he snapped pictures of the interaction.

Ali carefully uncovered a quart-sized clear plastic baggie from beneath about 2” of dirt near the watermelon plant. When she opened it she found another unframed photograph of herself, this one with sweet little Josie asleep in her lap when she was a little more than a year old. There was also a 3 x 5 index card with the following clue written clearly and carefully on it.

‘Clue #1  
It’s not in the house, but it’s close by’

On the other side of the index card it said:

‘Watch the end of the next game for where to look for the next clue...’

There was a pretty big letdown as the realization that there was no birthday present or hidden treasure payoff happening any time soon, settled in. Of course the kids wanted instant gratification and were frustrated when they didn’t get it. But they didn’t give up. Ali and Kyle kept the interest going as they ate their lunch around the coffee table in the front living room and watched the second and final EURO quarterfinal match of the day. As the kids’ interested waned a bit they reached for drawing paper and coloring books and video games on the iPad. They all stayed together in the front living room though, unwilling to risk missing something big happening. Finally, just before 2pm, Ashlyn’s final address came through the tv and all 6 of the Kriegers leaned closer as if that would make it easier to understand.

“In what was a bit of an upset here tonight, The Netherlands has ended England’s tournament in a thriller of a game. What a finish it was” she enthused. “But don’t be fooled by the frantic and exciting end to the game folks. The reason the Dutch team won is because their coach drew up a diagram and plotted out a pattern and a game plan designed to play into her players’ strengths. But even though they were following a blueprint, they were allowed to paint with their own colors and come away with a masterpiece of a quarterfinal victory.” She winked again as the stream ended for the day.

This one was easier because the kids kind of had an idea of what the secret message might sound like. Both Drew and Josie knew immediately that Mama wanted them to look in her studio for the next clue. But where? This part proved to be tricky for Ali as well. The studio was a big space with a million different places to hide something, like a plastic baggie with a photograph and an index card. The brunette read over the clue she had again written down, studying the beginning part of it where she talked about plotting and designing and following blueprints. That wasn’t as much about painting as it was about coming up with an idea for a painting or mapping out the composition of the painting. That could be done anywhere, but Ali knew her wife liked to sit at the desk between the two windows on the side wall of the office. The windows up there were low to the ground so she had a great view out of them from there and she had told the brunette before that sometimes it was inspiring just to be so high up, looking out over everything else.

While the kids continued scouring the rest of the large room and Kyle tried to keep them under control so they didn’t break anything in their anxious excitement, Ali fixed her eyes on the desk. It occurred to her, suddenly, that it was her old desk from her office at her small house in Stoneham. Ashlyn had moved it up to the studio mostly to get it out of the way but then decided to keep it there. Ali had never asked her why but she knew it had something to do with acknowledging their beginnings. It was the same reason Ashlyn fought so hard against getting rid of the comfy old sofa that had been up there for years. That sofa was Ali’s from her house in Stoneham and Ashlyn liked having things from that time period around her. The brunette shook her head and reminded herself to focus as she walked towards the desk on the far side of the room. She looked at the neat cubes with pens and pencils and scales and rulers sticking out of them and let her eyes travel across the desk. There it was. The small but heavy mermaid sculpture she had given to Ashlyn when she had completed the studio for her the first Christmas they spent together in the big old house. It was dark grey, only about a foot wide by 8” tall. The base of it was heavier and thicker and comprised mostly of the tail, bent and pointing to the right. It was very plain, there were only a few carvings on it for definition. The mermaid was faceless but the scales in her tail had been done beautifully. Her hair also had more detail than anything other than the tail and it spread out all around her head as if she were underwater. It was the closest likeness to the blonde’s siren tattoo that Ali had ever seen. Those words had been true back in December of 2016 and were still true today. The only thing different today about the mermaid sculpture on the rear corner of Ashlyn’s studio desk was the tiny, red cape tied around her neck. Ali smiled as she pointed to it and spoke.

“I found it. Over here on Mama’s desk.”

“Hey, that’s my wonder woman cape” Josie noticed, recognizing the accessory for her Barbie-sized action figure, as her eyes fixed on the mermaid. “How did that get here?” she looked up at Ali who just shrugged her shoulders.

“You know Mama, she’s always finding ways to surprise us” she grinned as Kyle winked at her again.

“Where’s the clue though?” Dodge asked, scratching his head and running out of patience.

Ali stepped closer to the desk and picked up the sculpture with two hands.

“Drew, is there a plastic baggie underneath her?” she asked her oldest son, trying to keep him engaged.

“Got it!” he replied, holding up the baggie that had another picture of Ali and an index card inside.

This picture was one of Ashlyn’s all-time favorite photographs of her wife. Ali was breastfeeding Drew and she just looked angelic. Part of it was the way the afternoon light came through the master bedroom window and part of it was the immeasurable love she felt for her first baby, for the child who had made her a mother first.

“What does it say?!” Lily asked with a squeal as she jumped up and down in place.

‘Clue #2  
It’s near where mermaids live.’

On the other side of the index card it said:

‘That’s all the help you get. Use your head and your heart and think of a special place...’

Ali read the index card twice as a slow smile filled her face. She knew she was right when she saw her brother nodding his head at her and tapping at his own head. The kids thought hard for a few solid minutes before they got it.

“The beach!!” Dodge shouted.

And just like that, all four of them raced down the front stairs, two flights, with a near-miss tragedy that was avoided only when Uncle Kyle rescued Lily from a free-fall that would have ended very painfully for her at the second-floor landing.

“Be careful!” Ali bellowed. “I mean it. Stop right now and listen to me.”

She waited at the bottom of the front stairs in the front hall with her hands on her hips and her nostrils flaring.

“We are going to get into our bathing suits. We are going to get out towels and put our shoes on. We are going to calmly and quietly WALK to the beach” she raised both her eyebrows and her voice that time. “It’s not a race and we’re not going to run or even speed-walk. We’re not going to trample anybody else who happens to be enjoying themselves at the beach this afternoon. We’re not going to scream and yell and make a big scene when we get to the beach. Everybody got it?” she gave them all a steely gaze. “Good. Now walk upstairs and get into your suits.”

They were good until they hit the street and their excitement started to break containment.

“Whoever is the best behaved gets to pick up the present and give it to me. So keep that in mind” she shamelessly enticed them towards good behavior.

They all stood in the sand on the other side of the footbridge at the bottom of their street and looked at the busy beach packed with people and umbrellas and coolers and blankets and chairs.

“Now where?” Drew asked with a concerned frown.

Ali and Kyle had talked quickly about letting the kids just go a little crazy at the beach, as long as they kept their distance from any innocent bystanders of course. But when the brunette saw how many people were actually on the beach she realized that wasn’t the best plan after all. She whispered into Kyle’s ear, asking him if the present was where she thought it was. After he nodded and grinned, she started to walk the length of the beach, all the way to the far end, with the cool ocean gently lapping at her ankles as she went. Her children followed behind her as she made her way to the big rock. Ashlyn’s big rock. The sunrise rock where Ali had asked for her hand in marriage so long ago.

“Why are we stopping here Mommy?” Lily whined as they all stopped and watched the brunette clamber up the side of the immense boulder way up at the end of the beach and away from most of the sunbathers.

“What’s she doing?” Dodge asked next, genuinely curious about what his mother was up to.

“She’s going to a special place” Kyle explained, staying on the ground with the kids until he was clear what his sister wanted him to do. “She thinks this is where her birthday present is hidden. What do you think?” his eyes were big as he enjoyed the excitement around the whole adventure.

After a rousing chorus of yeahs and definitelys and you know its, Kyle looked up at the top of the rock as his sister pulled herself up onto it with a grunt. He laughed to himself when he saw her stick her grinning face back out over the edge to look down at them all.

“Can I go up there too?” Dodge asked, eagerly pressing his hands together in front of him, almost as if her were praying, or in mid-clap.

“I’m coming right down guys” came the answer from the top. Ideally, Ali would love to share the special big rock with her children, but she knew they wouldn’t be able to appreciate it and, quite frankly, she didn’t want to hear their shitty comments about how boring it was up there. She didn’t want them to ruin it for her so she didn’t give them the chance. It wouldn’t have been their fault, not really. They were kids and she would have been asking them to get excited about sitting on top of a rock without even any sunrise to look at. “Just stay there. I’m not opening it yet, I promise.”

It was 4:00pm, 11:00pm in Israel, by the time Ali got her wife on the phone to thank her for her amazing birthday treasure hunt and gift. Koty and Brianna had arrived with Ken and Vicki and the four newcomers were all splashing around in the ocean with Kyle and the four young Kriegers. Ali had walked up near the snack bar and restrooms at the beach, where the reception was a little bit better, so she could make the call.

“So you liked it?” the keeper’s tired voice still sounded excited.

“I love it honey. I love the whole thing. You’re so sweet to me Ashlyn...” she bit her bottom lip to try and keep from crying. The emotional birthday gift made the brunette miss her wife even more than she already had been and her chest pounded as she fought back sudden tears.

“Did the kids like it too?” Ashlyn tried to distract her with some basic questions. She felt the emotions too and knew her wife wasn’t in a place to have a good old cry about missing her far-away love. “Did Kyle screw any of it up?”

“No, I mean, yes the kids loved it too, well everything right up to the actual gift” Ali sniffled and then chuckled. “I think they thought it was really going to be hidden treasure so when it was just a set of gorgeous stacking rings they looked disappointed” she laughed as she turned her attention to the beautiful silver rings sized to fit on her index finger of her right hand. “I love them by the way” she said softly. “They’re absolutely perfect.”

The five thin silver rings were designed to stack one on top of each other to cover the whole finger knuckle. The underside of each ring had one of the kids’ names on it, including Meg, and the topside had a different animal with a tiny brushstroke of faint color added to give it some life. They were rough carved sketches of animals, very basic and simple. Ashlyn had been worried that the kids would try to associate themselves with the animal on the top of the ring with their corresponding name on the underside. She spent a lot of time thinking about how best to keep the peace and then, ultimately, just decided the kids would have to learn that not everything on the earth was about them. The bear ring had a splash of brown on top and ‘Drew’ on the back. The lioness ring had a stroke of yellow color across the carving and ‘Josie’ on the back. The elephant ring had some grey across the big animal and ‘Dodge’ on the back. The dog ring had a stroke of caramel-orange and ‘Lily’ on the back. And the fairy carving had a pale purple color on top with ‘Meg’ on the back.

As if on cue, as soon as Ali showed them all the rings, Dodge whined about not having his favorite color blue on his ring and Josie complained about having a lion instead of a fairy on hers.

“You guys, listen to what Mama wrote again” Ali cleared her throat and read from the index card that had been inside the zipped and locked fanny pack on top of the big rock.

‘These rings have two things on each of them but those two things don’t necessarily go together. The five rings have the five people who mean the most to you and five animals you love with colors that go with them. Sometimes you’re strong like a bear and sometimes you’re playful like a dog. Sometimes you’re slow and steady like an elephant and sometimes you’re pretty and sparkly like a fairy. Sometimes you are the ruler of them all like the lioness. Each ring is beautiful and special, just like you are. But together, they make an amazing group.’”

“How did you keep that fanny pack safe up there all day?” Ali asked, her curiosity finally getting the best of her. Kyle had refused to divulge any of Ashlyn’s secrets.

“Justin kept an eye on it for me” the keeper replied, referring to their next door neighbor who had just graduated from college that May. He was spending the summer at home trying to figure out his next step and, in the meantime, had taken up his old summer job of lifeguarding at Good Harbor beach. “At least he was supposed to” she sighed. “I paid him so he better have done his job.”

“He must have” Ali smiled into the phone at the thought of her sweet wife making these plans in advance and organizing the whole surprise treasure hunt for her birthday present. “I’ve got them and they’re beautiful and I...I can’t believe you did all of this” she stammered as her emotions reared up again.

They were both quiet for a moment, thinking and feeling and missing.

“I know you have people there now...” Ashlyn strained to hear her beautiful brunette through the less than ideal connection.

“I know you’ve gotta get to bed babe...” Ali spoke at the same time.

They both paused, wondering if they had lost the call and then said simultaneously again...

“I love you...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy for Christen Press and excited to watch the USWNT game tonight. Still salty about Kriegs though. But I'm pretty sure I always will be. But I'm working on it.  
> I'm trying to focus on how adorable Ali and Ashlyn have been since Logan joined their family. A blessing for us all. :)
> 
>  
> 
> *whispers*: fuck you Jill Ellis...


	15. Sheds and Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning at the end of the chapter.

The third week of the EUROs definitely felt the longest, for everybody. It was almost painful. The kids were sick and tired of the low-level stress that was emanating from Ali. Ali was sick and tired of the kids. Period. Thankfully, the twins were at a science camp that week so Ali was able to get to the office for three full days, which was a much-needed and well-timed luxury for sure. But the evenings were still painful and nerve-wracking for all of them. They were just all crabby and out of sorts without Ashlyn for so long. People, including Ashlyn, often said that Ali was the glue that held their young family together. That was true, but Ashlyn was the grease that kept everybody operating smoothly together. The keeper could lose her temper just as often as Ali when it came to the kids doing dumb, careless, thoughtless or reckless things every single day of their lives. But Ashlyn’s light and laughter and laid-back surfer girl vibe was a vital part of what kept the family happy more often than not. Ali was a wonderful mother and anybody who saw her with any child for more than a minute could easily see it. She loved her kids and she loved sharing playful moments with them whenever she could. But Ashlyn was the fun mom and the whole world knew it. Ali had known it was going to be that way before they ever even had children so it came as no surprise to her. But it really pissed her off at times like this when Ashlyn wasn’t there for 3 whole weeks. Sometimes it hurt her feelings and made her sad, but mostly it made her angry. She wasn’t angry at anybody other than herself for letting the dynamic among their family get to that point. Ali chastised herself several times during Ashlyn’s work trip that summer for not fighting harder to make Ashlyn be the bad cop and do the tough stuff more often when it came to the kids. It was too late by then, by 2029. Ali was going back to when the kids were just babies...that’s when those roles have to be established. Even though the kids couldn’t talk or walk or communicate much beyond a cute giggle or an upset wail, they knew that Ali was the responsible mom and Ashlyn was the fun one. And maybe there was no way they could have avoided that outcome. Maybe it just made more sense to follow the natural progression of personalities and dynamics when the kids were little than it would have to force each of the moms to try to be something that wasn’t as natural to them. Ali didn’t know the answer. All she knew after having the kids by herself for 20 days so far, was that she was all out of patience.

“Josie let’s go” she spoke into the front living room as she stopped in the doorway to the mudroom to throw her phone and a few things into her purse. 

It was Wednesday, August 1st at 7:45am and if they didn’t leave the house in the next 2 minutes they were going to be late. She had a big and busy day and had been planning for it for a week. The twins were spending the day at science camp. Dodge’s best friend Mikey’s mother had just picked them up to take them, with Mikey, 15 minutes ago. Drew had spent the night at Ethan’s house and would be getting dropped off at the big old house at dinnertime after spending the day with Sam, Lisa and Ethan. All Ali had to do was drive Josie to her dentist appointment and then drop her off at her dad’s house for the rest of the day before making the drive into Cambridge. There was an important luncheon and meeting that Ali had to be at in Boston. It had been scheduled for months and the brunette had worked this whole week’s schedule for all four kids and herself around it. Ken and Vicki were bringing Josie back to the big old house so they’d be there when Drew and the twins got home and could feed them dinner. It was a great plan and, so far, it had gone off without a hitch. 

“I don’t wanna go” Josie huffed and crossed her arms, her bottom lip sticking out in a stubborn pout while never taking her eyes off the tv.

“I know you don’t like the dentist” Ali sighed, walked into the front living room and turned the tv off with the remote before turning to face the dramatic little redhead on the couch. “But you have to go sweetheart” she smiled as warmly as she could. “And we have to go right now. We can’t be late.”

None of the Krieger kids liked going to the dentist, but then, who really did? They’d been going their whole lives so it wasn’t anything knew, and none of them had endured anything traumatic to that point, so neither Ashlyn nor Ali could figure out why Josie hated it so much. The pediatric dentist was wonderful. The whole evolution of doctors and dentists and optometrists that specialized in children’s health was amazing and made taking kids to their appointments so much easier over the years. The waiting rooms were designed to keep siblings entertained and happy as well as the waiting patients themselves. Most of these pediatric specialty offices knew that there were more than one kid per family so they went out of their way to schedule multiple or ‘family’ appointments to save harried moms and dads multiple trips. Everything about the experience was geared for young parents with young kids and everything challenging that came with that. This was the second of Josie’s bi-annual, twice-yearly, check-ups and she was the last Krieger kid to get hers. They had learned that the redhead handled the dentist trip better if she was by herself, without her siblings needling her and teasing her about her borderline phobia.

“I’m not going” she upped the ante and glared at her mother defiantly.

Normally it would have taken Ali longer to get pissed off about the behavior but she was not in the mood that morning. Her temper flared and she returned the glare with her own stern words.

“You most certainly are going young lady and I don’t want to hear another word about it. Now get up and get into the car right now” she pointed towards the driveway as she loomed above her daughter on the couch.

“No!”

“What did you just say to me?”

“Noooo!!!!!”

“If you don’t get into the car right now you’re going to be grounded for a week. Now get moving” Ali threatened, fully intending to back it up. Josie had a music camp the following week that they both knew she had her heart set on attending. That was Ali’s ace up her sleeve. “I mean it Jose.”

Persey got up and came over to try and hide between Ali’s legs, upset by the anxiety filling the room, but the brunette wasn’t in the mood for that either.

“I’m not going!!!!!” Josie closed her eyes and screamed up at her mother.

Ali’s whole face scrunched up in fury as she squinted down at her daughter.

“Guess what? You’re grounded for a week AND you’re still going to the dentist, now get up” she reached out and took Josie by the forearm in a firm grip, pulling her up off the couch and to her feet.

Persey scrambled out of the way and then tried to curl up in the small space between the recliner and the end of the ‘L’ bend couch by the front hall. Josie cried out and screamed as if Ali had just slapped her across the face.

“Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!” she wailed and threw herself to the floor at Ali’s feet, wrapping her small arms around the brunette’s ankles and bursting into loud tears.

Ali hadn’t seen a temper tantrum this bad for over a year, and that had been Miss Lily who could be every bit the drama queen that her big sister was. What the fuck was happening? Josie had never pushed back this hard about going to the dentist before and Ali literally didn’t know what to do. Her first impulse, and she wasn’t proud to admit it, was to slap the girl. But she didn’t. Not even her frayed nerves and the tension in the house from 21 days without Ashlyn could bring her to strike her child. But she came close. The amount of anger she felt for Josie in that moment was truly terrifying and made Ali suck in a breath when she realized how close she had come to hitting the redhead. Her second impulse was to forcibly pick the girl up and carry her to the minivan. The problem with that was that Josie could easily undo her seatbelt and get right back out again until Ali engaged the child locks on the sliding doors. But beyond that, the brunette knew that the redhead would just continue the temper tantrum at the dentist’s office if she forced her to go there at this stage of the game. And, finally, the mother was worried about what was causing so much upset in her little girl in the first place. Ali knew she was acting out for a reason and it probably wasn’t the dentist. She took a deep breath, and then another, before bending down and putting her palm on Josie’s back which was shaking from her sobs.

“It’s ok honey” she moved her hand in slow circles trying to calm the girl down. “Shhhh...it’s alright Little One. Here, come here” she squatted down and then stood up again with Josie in her arms, grunting loudly under the weight.

The girl felt hot to the touch and was having a hard time catching her breath from her crying fit. Her face was red and she clung tightly to her mother with all four limbs, even digging her heels into Ali’s backside. Anybody else might have thought that Josie was ill or had a fever or some other sickness, but the brunette knew this was just a rage-fueled outburst and there was nothing physically wrong with the girl. She and Ashlyn and other lucky family and friends had been dealing with this phenomenon for all of Josie’s 8 years of life. She was usually the one who toughed things out and just gutted through whatever obstacle was in her way, but every once in a while Josie lost her shit, just like that morning of August 1st.

Ali sat heavily on the couch, still holding her daughter to her chest, and reached into her purse for her phone. She rescheduled the dentist appointment, apologizing profusely for wasting one of the coveted early morning time slots. Then she called her dad to see if she could bring Josie up to Ipswich earlier than originally planned.

“Hel-loooo” Ken’s voice filled the mudroom and carried into the front living room where he could hear the tv on. “Is my rosy Josie home?”

“In here Dad” Ali called out with a smile as Persey ran to greet Ken.

Ken had insisted on coming down to Gloucester to spend some time with Josie when Ali had explained what had happened. She had only hoped to drop Josie off at his house earlier than their pre-arranged, post-dentist time. But Grandpa had come to the rescue, again. 

“There she is” he smiled as he opened his arms wide in front of the couch and let Josie jump into them. “There’s my girl. Everything a little bit better now? I hope?” he hugged her close and looked at Ali for an update.

“Grandpa’s here!” Josie smiled and tucked right into his front with a satisfied little mumble.

“I don’t know what happened” Ali answered honestly, shrugging her shoulders as she held her father’s gaze. “I think we’re just missing Mama a lot right now and maybe this morning even more than usual.” She stood and patted her daughter’s back as she kissed her father’s cheek. “Huh Jose?”

“Ah-huh” the girl nodded into Ken’s neck. 

Ali waited about a half hour before leaving the house to get in to her meeting. She hesitated for only a minute and then reminded herself that Ken had always had a very special bond with Josie. When she had been a very little girl, Josie seemed to prefer Koty to any other living person on the planet. But over the years things changed and Koty didn’t always get to as many of the kids’ events as Ken did and the little redhead changed her allegiance to Grandpa instead. He spoiled her, but not too terribly. And she did almost everything he asked of her. It was infuriating for her parents but sometimes it really did take the whole freaking village. Ali cursed the EUROs and her absent wife and her throbbing headache as she pulled out of the driveway at 9:30am that morning.

“Five more days” she muttered to herself as she dialed Marcy’s number so they could catch up with office things during her drive in. “Five more fucking days.”

//

Ashlyn did everything she could do to get back home as quickly as possible. The EURO Championship game was played at 5pm on Sunday August 5th, Israel time. Her original flight plan was to go back to the hotel that night and then get on an 8am flight Monday morning which would have made her Boston arrival time 1pm on Monday August 5th. Ali was going to bring all the kids into the airport to greet her and make sure she knew how much they had missed her. Instead, Ashlyn changed her flight and left Tel Aviv at midnight, technically Monday morning. After the 11-1/2 hour flight to Boston and taking into account the 7-hour time change, the keeper landed in Boston at 4:30am. She got into the waiting car and let the driver take her up to Gloucester and the missing pieces of her heart. It was just before 6am when the car pulled into the driveway and stopped outside the mudroom door there. Ashlyn had been too tired to sleep and had enjoyed a beautiful sunrise during the hour-long drive instead. Aside from feeling exhausted, the sunrise had made her feel like herself again for the first time in 3 long weeks. The driver helped her put her two suitcases in the mudroom and she listened carefully for any movement upstairs. Satisfied that there was none, she kicked off her shoes and tiptoed up the backstairs, hoping to catch her wife still in bed. What she should have done was let Persey out of Lily’s room because the dog had heard the car pull up all the way from the other side of the house and was quietly whining, hoping Lily would wake up and open her door. But she couldn’t wait. She had to get a look at her beautiful brunette.

Ali heard some movement in the room and rolled onto her side so she was facing the fireplace side of the bed and got ready to help pull a still sleepy Dodge up into bed with her. She had to admit, snuggling with her sweet boy most mornings while Ashlyn had been away had been a lovely gift from the universe. But then she felt the bed dip behind her and was confused as to why Dodge would go to Ashlyn’s side of the bed. He hadn’t done that since halfway through week one of the EUROs trip. She blinked open her eyes and saw nothing on her side of the bed and just as she started to roll onto her back she felt a much bigger arm than Dodge’s on the bed behind her.

“Ashlyn?” she croaked out in her morning voice as she squinted and tried hard to see without her glasses and with too much sleep still clouding her vision.

“Hi baby. I’m home” the keeper grinned through her own exhaustion and let Ali take hold of her arm and pull her closer to her.

Ali rolled onto her right side and was finally able to see her wonderful wife right there next to her. 

“But...I thought...” she stammered, still confused, but not caring very much about anything other than her favorite face in front of her at the moment. “You’re here...” she exhaled and gave her keeper a nose-crinkling smile that stretched from ear to ear.

Their short-lived reunion was interrupted a minute later by Dodge.

“Mommy, something’s wrong with Persey” he stated pretty clearly for a little boy who had just woken up. “She’s whining...” he looked up as he got close to the bed. “Mama!!” he shouted and ran towards the bed, launching himself onto it with ease and squeezing himself right between his two mothers.

“Hi big boy” Ashlyn covered his face with kisses and hugged him tight. “I missed you so much.”

“Missed you too” he grinned back.

“What a nice surprise huh Dodgie?” Ali smiled at the sweetness of the reunion and patted her son briefly on his back before returning her hand to Ashlyn’s. She wasn’t ready to let it go for more than a couple of seconds just yet.

“Wait, you didn’t know either?” he lifted his eyebrows as he looked at Ali.

“Nope. She didn’t tell anybody” the brunette giggled. “Why don’t you go open Lily’s door and let Persey come say hi. She must be going crazy in there and I don’t want her to bark and wake everybody else up yet...”

Dodge took off at a sprint to let Persey join them and the happy dog didn’t waste any time. She even tried to jump up onto the bed by herself and almost made it too. Ashlyn laughed at her and helped her up.

“Since I missed you all so much I guess we’ll let the dog up on the bed for a few minutes” she smiled and tried to keep the dog’s tongue away from her face. “Hi Perse, hi, hi Persey, what a good girl you are...”

It wasn’t long before Lily joined them and then Josie after her. Finally, Dodge ran down the hallway to wake Drew up so he could get in on the reunion love going on in their mommies’ room. The whole young family together on the bed was sweet for a short time but then full bladders and hungry bellies forced them all downstairs. Even jet-lagged Ashlyn sat with them in the nook that morning and enjoyed breakfast time chaos for the first time in 24 long days. Everybody’s emotions were all over the place as the group dynamic of the big old house tried to reset itself with Ashlyn’s big, fun-loving heart and personality in the mix again where it belonged.

Finally, after getting everybody fed and dressed, Ali left to bring Drew to his advanced baseball camp, Josie to her much-anticipated music camp, and the twins to separate soccer camps before heading into work herself. Ashlyn went up to bed and slept like a rock for almost 6 hours. She was so overtired she even let Persey sleep with her on the bed. When she felt a soft touch on her shoulder and smelled her wife’s shampoo and just a touch of her moisturizer she rolled onto her back with a smile already on her face. She didn’t have to open her eyes to know where she was or who she was with. Everything felt and sounded and smelled perfect. The only thing out of place was the dog panting at the foot of the bed, too hot to stay asleep on the bed but not willing to abandon the rare treat of being able to be up there in the first place.

“Hey sleepyhead” Ali pressed a soft kiss to her wife’s forehead. “Having a good dream?” she giggled at the adorable smile on her keeper’s blissful, sleepy face.

“I don’t even think I dreamed” Ashlyn groaned and stretched, all with the same big smile and dimple on her face. “I’m just so happy to be here right now” she opened her eyes, one at a time, and took in the beautiful sight next to her. “I missed you so much. All of you.”

“We missed you too. You have no idea” Ali rolled her eyes and giggled as she hugged her wife. “Mmmmmmm...you feel so good.”

“You do too. You smell good too.”

“I wish I could say the same thing...” Ali teased as she sat up again.

“I know. I probably stink. I’ve got hotel and stadium and airplane and public toilet and dog all over me...”

“And now we’ll be changing the bed too...” the brunette chuckled and brought their lips together in a soft and sweet kiss. “I don’t care. I’m just glad you’re home.”

//

It took a few days but soon enough the whole family was used to having Ashlyn back and it was as if she had never left. Sometimes one of the kids would forget that their Mama hadn’t been home for whatever part of a story they were trying to remember or retell, and Ashlyn would gently remind them that she had been on her work trip. Whichever kid it was would blush a little and giggle – a little embarrassed to have forgotten again, and then tell the story differently so Ashlyn could understand it even though she hadn’t been home for it. 

“Remember when I cut my finger?” Lily asked her Mama one afternoon on the way to pick up Drew from baseball camp the first week of Ashlyn’s return.

“Oh, on the garden fence?” Ashlyn frowned into the rearview mirror to watch her daughter’s face for the response. She had missed both injuries but Ali had given her updates each time.

“No” Lily giggled and took a breath, holding up her fully healed finger and looking at it intently. “When I was using the scissors...”

“Oh right” the keeper nodded. “Mommy told me you were playing around and not paying enough attention to what you were doing...”

“No, no” the girl corrected quickly. “Jo...Jojo kept telling me to hurry up and that’s what happened. Remember?”

“Well I wasn’t here when it happened sweetpea. But Mommy told me about it. You and Josie and Kayla were making decorations for the stage downstairs and you were watching tv at the same time and you cut your finger instead of the paper...”

“Oh yeah” Lily giggled and shrugged her shoulders, blushing slightly. “But Jojo made me do it. It was her fault.”

“I’m just glad your finger is all better now. But you know you have to always pay attention when you’re using scissors, right baby girl?”

“Yeah. I know” she looked at her finger one more time, winced a little at the memory, and then grinned up at her Mama. “Are you sure you weren’t here then?”

It wasn’t that she didn’t believe Ashlyn. It was that, in her 6-year old brain, she couldn’t understand how her Mama could know so many details about the incident without having been there first hand. Sometimes it still surprised the kids when one mother told the other about something that happened. It was as if the kids really thought their moms didn’t share almost everything the kids said or did with each other. They always seemed surprised by the united front Ali and Ashlyn operated with. 10-year old Drew understood and knew that whatever he told one mother would go right to the other one. But the twins still couldn’t quite grasp it.

“I’m sure honey. I wish I had been here the whole time, but I wasn’t. Do you remember me being gone for my work trip?”

“Yeah. I just forgot I guess” she shrugged again and smiled. “I’m glad your trip is done.”

“Me too Lily girl. Me too.”

After a week of getting settled back into the big old house and back on their routine, Ali and Ashlyn packed everybody up and brought all four kids up to The Academy the following week for the Final session of the year. Both Ashlyn and Ali coached and it was one of the best weeks ever at the camp. Whitney was there with both of her kids. Sydney was there with all three of her kids. Niki was there with her daughter Penny who was still too young to participate as an official camper but had been eager to spend the week playing with the other four-family kids who were going to be there. They all arrived Sunday morning and got ready to receive the campers that afternoon. They coached and played and enjoyed the environment and the amenities at the camp Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday before finishing the whole Academy season off with a half day Thursday and then the big party Thursday afternoon and evening with fireworks over the lake again and everything. 

There was something about being up at the camp in such a beautiful setting with such good people that moved both Ali and Ashlyn every time they coached together. They both loved doing soccer together. It was something that they both loved deeply and had loved before they had ever met each other. It was almost as if they were sharing their first real loves with each other, on top of all of the other love that they already had in common. It was very special to both of them and Ali promised herself that she would do everything she could to keep finding a way to come up to coach with her wife every summer, for at least one of the week-long sessions. The other nice thing about being at the Academy together was that sharing all that love and soccer passion really got Ashlyn and Ali riled up by the end of the week. It happened every time they coached together. By the time Tuesday night rolled around and they had enjoyed 2-1/2 days sharing their soccer passion together, they were ready to share another kind of passion with each other. The problem was that they were confined to a staff cabin with their four children sleeping all around them in bunk beds. There was no way they could have sex in their cabin and they never did. They did their best to hold off until they could get back home Thursday night and tear each other’s clothes off to satisfy their desire. Sometimes it was too much to make it through Wednesday and Thursday. Sometimes one or the other of them had to take care of themselves after slipping away between coaching sessions. It was never good enough, but it was something. A quick, desperate orgasm grunted out in the privacy of their cabin while the rest of the camp, including their wife, went about their business in the middle of the day. 

“Don’t touch me” Ali spoke quietly but seriously when her keeper tried to kiss her cheek and rub her back before sitting down for the campfire Wednesday night that final week. “I mean it.”

“Are you ok?” Ashlyn whispered, taking a seat next to the brunette on one of the wooden benches that surrounded the campfire pit like they were in a small amphitheater. “What did I do?”

“Nothing” Ali replied, her voice still quiet and tense. “I just won’t be able to stand it” she replied, never taking her eyes off of Dodge who was bouncing around the small group of staff kids down at the front of the group.

Ashlyn had seen their son too and was about to stand up and tell him to settle down when Jane Sheldrick took care of it for them. She told the whole group of younger kids to be still or they’d have to go sit with their parents. Nobody wanted that, kids or parents, so they calmed right down as the camp counselors began the campfire songs that would close down the night, as they did every night.

“You’re so beautiful baby” Ashlyn let her pinky finger brush up against Ali’s pinky finger as they both sat straighter than normal with their hands on the bench at their sides.

“Ashlyn, please” Ali whined and gave her wife a pleading look for mercy. “I already almost got caught in the cabin this afternoon” she rolled her eyes and blushed deeply, hoping the growing darkness would disguise it. “Stay away from me” she scooted just another inch away.

“Caught doing what?” the keeper asked softly, closer to her wife’s ear than Ali wanted her to be. She stretched her fingers over and caressed the back of Ali’s fingers that were clenched tightly on the edge of the bench between them.

“You know” Ali turned to face her this time and Ashlyn could see the darkness in her eyes. “You drove me crazy last night. It was sheer torture. And then watching you in the after-lunch session...” she swallowed at the memory, closing her eyes for a quick second. “I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I went to the cabin to...take care of it.”

“Ooooh, I like where this is going” the keeper grinned and made more contact with her long fingers on Ali’s hand. “Next time bring me with you” she wagged her eyebrows. “That would have been so hot...”

“Yeah, well, not if Drew had come barging in on you like he did to me today” Ali huffed and closed her eyes again, this time in embarrassment.

“What was he even doing there? I thought they all went on that hike this afternoon?”

“Yeah, so did I” Ali rolled her eyes and chuckled. “I guess he saw our cabin was pretty close to the trail and said he needed to get his hat so he didn’t get sunburned and one of the girls let him go get it. God help me.”

“Did he see you?” Ashlyn’s eyes went wide at the thought, closing her hand over Ali’s hand and letting her fingers brush up against her upper thigh instead. “Tell me our son didn’t walk in on you fingering yourself...”

Ali shushed her with a glare, incredibly turned on by the huskiness of the blonde’s voice as they whispered together while everybody else around them sang campfire songs.

“No” she hissed and then giggled at the memory. “I rolled over and acted like I was just sitting up, like he had woken me up from a nap” she rolled her eyes again. “He looked guilty and told me why he was there and didn’t even ask me what I was doing. Thank God.”

Ali had leaned closer to her wife to share her little secret and the warm breath that tickled Ashlyn’s skin was driving the blonde crazy.

“So, did you...take care of your little problem after he left?” the keeper’s hot breath was doing the same thing to the brunette as she whispered back. Ashlyn’s fingers hadn’t stopped caressing her wife’s thigh either.

“God” Ali blushed again and giggled like a schoolgirl. “Yes, alright” she quirked an eyebrow at her wife but didn’t pull away. “I did. It wasn’t very good because I was terrified someone else would walk in any minute...”

“Oh, so just a quickie then, eh?” Ashlyn smirked. “Did it even do any good?” she laughed softly and then yelped quietly when she felt her wife’s blunt nails digging into her hand. 

“Watch it” she warned but couldn’t keep the smile from the corners of her mouth.

“Ok, ok” Ashlyn laughed again. “So...inside the shorts but above the panties?” she quirked her eyebrow at her still-blushing brunette. “Or...did you get right in there and drop trou and the whole nine yards?”

“Oh my God” Ali chuckled and hung her head down, squeezing her wife’s hand and moving it onto her thigh, making Ashlyn raise her eyebrows at the action that contradicted her earlier commands. “Inside the shorts and panties” she whispered breathily into the keeper’s ear, letting her lips just graze the outer edge of it as she pulled away. “Both hands.”

It hadn’t taken long after that for Ashlyn to come up with a plan designed to get them some quiet time together. She gently tugged on Ali’s hand as she stood up.

“Follow me” she winked and walked happily away with the brunette still holding her hand and following her.

“Where are we going? Everybody knows we just walked away from campfire together...” Ali was whisper-yelling at her wife’s back as they moved quickly down the path away from the campfire amphitheater by the lake and then up the trail that led towards the staff cabins. “It’ll take too long to go all the way to our cabin...”

“Just...trust me” Ashlyn whirled around quickly to reassure her wife.

There were a number of buildings all around the camp that had nothing to do with the soccer Academy at all. There were maintenance sheds of different sizes in different locations. Some of them housed the tractors that mowed the lawns around the camp. Some of them were simple gardening sheds with nothing but gardening tools inside. Some were filled with chemicals used to maintain the fields and clean the other buildings and cabins and keep the awful mosquitoes and other bugs away. Every one of these maintenance or storage or gardening sheds had a lock on the door and Ali opened her mouth to question her wife again but before she had the chance, Ashlyn took a sharp right turn and ducked behind a shed that was about 8 feet x 8 feet. Ali watched, stunned, as her wife fished a key out of her pocket and calmly unlocked the door to the shed. Ashlyn turned on the flashlight feature of her phone and scanned the windowless room as she stepped inside, pulling Ali in after her.

“Shut the door” she whispered and watched as Ali did as she was told. “It ain’t much, but it’s all ours for...” she considered her answer for a few seconds, “I’d say thirty minutes or so.” She searched the brunette’s hard-to-read face, wondering if this was going to work or not. “What do you think? Because if it’s yes then let’s get going...”

Before Ashlyn had a chance to finish her sentence, Ali closed the distance between them and kissed her hard, wrapping her arms around her back and pulling her in tight so their bodies were flush together. The brunette had so many questions for her resourceful wife – starting with where she got the key to the shed and ending with how long she had been planning this little getaway. But there wasn’t time for any of that. They kissed aggressively, banging teeth together a couple of times, and groped each other in the mostly dark room. It was a gardening shed with several shovels, hoes, and rakes stacked along one side of the space. There was a makeshift bench that had been made by laying a rough board across two wooden sawhorses that looked to be 100 years old, at least. On the wall opposite the rickety bench were some wooden shelves with dozens of different sized planters and containers, all empty, stacked as neatly as possible. There were a couple of big, old-fashioned metal watering cans beneath the bench and two shallow plastic buckets on top of the bench with different hand tools like trowels, dandelion weeders, hand rakes, and hand forks inside them both. The walls of the shed were wooden but uninsulated and thin, as far as structural walls went. The slightly pitched roof above them matched the walls but the floor below them was just the ground. The sheds could be moved by some of the big machines each year as necessary to do work on some of the other buildings or just to move them to a more necessary location. There were six steel strips, about 2” wide each, that crossed the ground and provided a little bit of structure to the building as they joined one side with the opposite. Between those steel strips was the bare earth. That night it was mostly grass, starting to go yellow due to the lack of sunlight, with some bare spots that were just dark dirt. Ashlyn set her phone on its side, leaning against one of the buckets on top of the bench so the flashlight was pointed down and not too bright. The shed was now partially lit but, hopefully, not so brightly that it piqued anybody else’s curiosity. Neither woman had thought much about the logistics of what they were about to do. Their libidos had taken control of their brains and their aching pussies were doing most of the thinking at the moment.

“Fuck...yes...” Ali gasped out when they finally took a break to fill their lungs with air again. “I’ve been dying to taste you all damned day” she tried to drop to her knees but the keeper held her in place, strong hands at the brunette’s elbows pulling her in close again.

“My turn first” Ashlyn husked out as she brought their lips together again, this time sucking hard on Ali’s tongue and biting her bottom lip as they pulled apart.

They both were putting their hands to good use, grabbing and rubbing and pinching the soft skin around each other’s breasts and nipples, even through t-shirts and sports bras.

“Mmmmmm...” Ali hummed as she moved her lips to Ashlyn’s neck and began licking and sucking there. “Fuck, babe...God, I need you...” she leaned closer, straddled her keeper’s leg, and started grinding as her passion continued to rise.

“Inside the shorts, above the panties” Ashlyn teased breathlessly as she moved one hand down to hold her wife close by the back of her ass.

“No, I told you, inside the shorts and panties...” Ali followed right along with the flirtatious teasing, her slow, sensual words dripping with want, “both hands.”

“Jesus Christ” Ashlyn groaned, unable to contain her mounting excitement. “You just made me so fucking wet...” she closed her eyes and rolled her head back as the brunette kept nibbling on her neck, tugging her nipple, and grinding against her thigh.

“Welcome to the club” she replied with a throaty chuckle. “Why don’t you let me have a taste of that?”

“No way baby. You wait your turn” Ashlyn smirked and then turned her wife around in her arms, roughly, making her squeal in surprise and anticipation.

“Holy shit” she panted, her whole body on fire, waiting for Ashlyn to take her on the ride she’d been craving for two days now. “Yes, fuck yes...” she brought her hands to her own breasts and began playing with them and pinching her already stiffening nipples. “Need you babe...” she leaned her head back and moaned when she felt Ashlyn’s lips on her neck.

The keeper had to fight hard to remain in control as she held her wife in her arms, Ali’s back to Ashlyn’s front, body writhing against her and ready to start her climb. Ashlyn slid one hand into the front of Ali’s athletic shorts, wasting no time and letting her long fingers find the wetness already pooled between her legs. The brunette spread her legs out and lowered herself onto Ashlyn’s fingers in an attempt to get more pressure there.

“Fuck me, please” she begged as she brought one hand up over her shoulder and grabbed the back of Ashlyn’s head. “I need your fingers inside me...Ashlyn...” she panted again, ready to explode.

Ashlyn swallowed hard at the hot words coming out of her wife’s mouth as well as the way she was moving her hungry body against her fingers. She quickly pulled both hands to Ali’s waist and pushed her shorts and panties down below her knees, bending over and standing back up again so fast that the brunette barely missed the contact. Ali stepped out of the clothes with one leg and spread herself out even wider for her wife who had returned to her place behind her, wrapping her long arms around her from behind. The brunette kept playing with her own breasts and sucked in a sharp breath when she felt Ashlyn enter her with two fingers, pumping fast and hard without any warning or build-up. 

“Like this?” she purred into Ali’s ear, biting her earlobe and tugging with her teeth. 

“Shit...unnnhhhh, yes” Ali’s voice was low and ragged as she finally got what she had been after, her body bouncing along with the blonde’s pumping fingers. “Oh fuck, yes...unnnhhhh...”

Ashlyn kept thrusting with her right hand, loving the way Ali’s body had turned almost into jelly in her arms. Almost, but not quite. The keeper went back to nibbling on Ali’s neck and ear and collarbone as she pushed her fingers inside her with speed and power. When she felt the brunette’s walls grabbing at her fingers and her chest heaving as she tried to keep breathing, Ashlyn reached around Ali’s undulating body with her left hand and put her fingers on her swollen clit.

“Are you ready to come you gorgeous, fucking beauty?” she asked, her breath and words both hot against Ali’s warm skin.

“Unnnnhhhhh...fuuuuccckkk...” was all the brunette could manage to groan out as she felt her whole body starting to tingle.

Ashlyn started rubbing Ali’s clit and in another minute the brunette came, doubling over and shaking through the medium-strength orgasm. Ali grabbed Ashlyn’s left hand, holding it still after moving it away from her sensitive nub, and let out the quietest string of four-letter words she had ever put together before. The keeper held her up, using her strong arms to support Ali’s mostly-limp body until she was ready to stand on her own again. The brunette pulled up her shorts and panties after another minute catching her breath.

“You’re so sexy Al. I swear to God...I’ll never understand how you get sexier and hotter all the time. It’s really not fair to the rest of us mere mortals.”

“Goddamn that was good” Ali smiled hazily into a kiss as she turned around in her wife’s arms so they were facing each other again. “Fuck, I wanna spend half the night loving you like this instead of just half an hour” she whined as she kept playing with Ashlyn’s breasts and grabbing her ass and kissing her lips. “It’s my turn now” she grinned lasciviously and got on her knees.

Ali undid the drawstring on her wife’s boardshorts and pulled them down, along with her boxer briefs. She pressed hot kisses across her hips, taking her time and enjoying the tattoos and her favorite spiderweb at her belly. Ali let her lips keep travelling along Ashlyn’s warm and waiting body while she helped her keeper step out of the clothes so she could open up wide for her. Ashlyn put her hand on the back of Ali’s head but didn’t try to impose her will. Yet. She bucked her hips up to encourage her wife to move faster for her, but otherwise she just stood there waiting to feel the glorious ministrations of Ali’s talented tongue.

“I gave you yours” the keeper whined lightly. “Now I want mine. Don’t make me wait...please baby.”

Ali looked up and smiled lovingly at her gorgeous keeper. She wished they were both naked so she could see Ashlyn’s pretty pink nipples. But nothing about this rendezvous was close to perfect or planned. She would just be grateful for everything they could do in the short amount of time they had stolen.

“I’ve got you, All-star. I’m gonna make you feel soooo good...Mmmmmmmm...” she hummed into Ashlyn’s mound, slowly letting her mouth slide lower and lower past her clit and towards her dripping wet folds. “Fuck, you taste good” she closed her eyes, enjoying everything she was feeling and tasting.

“Yeah baby, just like that...Mmmmmm...”

There was the sound of voices close by and they both froze for a few seconds, heartrates racing. That little reminder was all Ali needed for motivation to get things moving along again. She reminded herself that this wasn’t the time to linger. Ali reached up and rolled and pinched Ashlyn’s still-clothed nipples with one hand while she pushed her fingers inside the blonde’s hot center with the other. She started thrusting her fingers at a medium pace at first, while licking around her clit at the same time. The strangled groan that came out of Ashlyn’s mouth made the brunette’s head spin as she kept working on her wife.

“Mmmmm...Jesus yes...” Ali groaned and sped up her pumping fingers while starting to suck all of Ashlyn’s swollen clit into her mouth. She flicked it with her tongue and made her keeper jump at the contact.

“Fuck that’s good...unnnhhhh...” Ashlyn husked out, groaning and trying to stay steady on her feet as she felt her legs start to tremble. 

Ali kept pumping her fingers and sucking and flicking hard with her tongue as Ashlyn struggled to keep her balance. There was nothing to lean against so she started to lower herself to the ground.

“You ok, sexy?” the brunette smirked in an attempt to stay in the mood, but she was truly worried about her keeper for a minute.

“I’m good” Ashlyn gasped out. “Just gotta lie down” she explained quickly as she laid on her back, pulling her knees up and planting her feet flat on the grass. “There we go...please don’t stop, honey. Don’t fucking stop...”

Ali gave the blonde a few seconds to get situated and then kept going once she was convinced that it was just Ashlyn getting a little weak in the knees from all the sudden excitement. It happened to Ali all the time so she knew it wasn’t anything to worry about.

“Time to come for me now...” Ali knelt between her wife’s legs and continued thrusting her fingers hard and fast into Ashlyn’s pulsing pussy. She put her mouth back over her keeper’s clit and started flicking her tongue back and forth as hard and fast as she could manage. She watched Ashlyn put both hands on her own breasts, squeezing through her t-shirt and sports bra to try and get to her nipples underneath them. “Come on baby...fucking hell you’re gorgeous...”

A few minutes later Ashlyn came undone, enjoying a big orgasm and trying not to make too much noise as she shook and twitched on the grass beneath them. She pulled Ali down on top of her and flinched when the brunette pressed her thigh between the keeper’s legs.

“Oooh, still sensitive I see” she chuckled and placed kisses all over Ashlyn’s face as the blonde tried to catch her breath. “I love you Ashlyn.”

“I...love you...too” Ashlyn smiled and wrapped her arms around her wife’s back and waist, hugging her tight and making her squeal and giggle.

“Come on. We’ve gotta get out of here and go find our kids before they wander off into the woods” she laughed as she stood up, adjusting her clothes to make sure everything was as it should be. She helped Ashlyn up to her feet and looked into her eyes. “You ok honey? You feel dizzy?”

“Nah, I’m good. I just couldn’t hold myself steady before. You literally knocked me off my feet” she cheesed and then laughed.

“Ok Romeo, let’s go” she chuckled and picked up her keeper’s phone to check the time and turn off the flashlight. “Shit, hurry up!” she raised her eyebrows. “We’ve got, like, 2 minutes to get back...”

“Alright, I’m coming, just...don’t open the door yet!” Ashlyn got panicky when she saw her anxious wife’s hand on the door while she was still trying to sort out her underwear and her shorts.

The only person who gave them any shit that night was Niki and she simply gave them both a knowing look as they took their seats again for the end of the very last campfire song. Ashlyn grinned at her friend and shrugged her shoulders, receiving a smack from Ali for confirming their guilt. Later that night, after herding everybody back to their cabins and getting Drew, Josie, Dodge and Lily all tucked into their bunkbeds in their own staff cabin, Ashlyn and Ali sat outside on the squeaky swing. They snuggled into each other and were relieved to remember that somebody had oiled the swing so it wasn’t nearly as noisy as the last time they had been to camp, 5 weeks earlier. It was a beautiful night and the dark sky was lit by a million stars, all twinkling at different brightness levels and in different moments. It had been a busy summer and school was fast approaching in only 2-1/2 more weeks. Ali rested her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder as they sat side by side with their arms around one another. Ashlyn’s head leaned on top of Ali’s as they lazily and sweetly held hands in their laps, moving their thumbs softly over the tanned skin at the back of their hands. 

“The end of The Academy always makes me sad” Ashlyn offered quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Me too” Ali squeezed her hand.

“I’m really looking forward to next year when there’ll be no World Cup, no Olympics, no EUROs...” the keeper continued with a wistful sigh. “I can’t wait to spend more time up here. I feel like I started it and then just took off, you know?”

“You never really thought you would spend all 8 weeks up here every summer, did you?” Ali pulled her head back to look at her wife’s adorably thoughtful face. 

“Well...yeah, kinda. I guess” she shrugged. “I mean, Whit and I always just thought...”

“Oh, well of course that’s what you thought when you were just dreaming about it” Ali smiled and kissed her wife’s cheek, right on her dimple that was just starting to appear. “But then you both got married and had kids and successful companies to run...you know, the basic stuff” she giggled and kissed Ashlyn’s lips once the blonde turned to face her.

“Yeah, I guess that’s what happened. I’m not complaining.”

“But yeah you were” Ali teased.

“Well, ok, sort of, but not really” the keeper rolled her eyes. “I’m so happy and so lucky as it is – it feels wrong to ask for even more.”

They were quiet for a few more minutes, letting the soft and still-humid night air settle around them on their swing. There was something almost magical about that camp in those woods by that lake in Greenfield, NH. Ali felt it too, even though The Academy itself was Ashlyn’s dream. There was no denying that this place was special. Somehow it was easier to overlook the dirt and mud and bugs and less-than-reliable hot water and spotty wifi connection when she was up here. She knew a lot of it was because she was there with the love of her life, but she was pretty sure, even if Ashlyn hadn’t been there, that she would still think it was a wonderful place.

“You know, if you want to make that happen we’ll find a way” Ali spoke evenly after settling her head back onto her wife’s shoulder. “But tell me now because I’m about to start planning our family vacation for next summer.”

“You are?” Ashlyn sounded surprised.

“Of course” Ali smiled and pulled Ashlyn’s hand up to her mouth to give it a kiss. “I’ve had ‘Summer of 2030’ marked down for three years now as a slow summer where you should be around more. You’re not the only one who can read the major international tournament schedule you know” she chuckled as their hands rested on Ashlyn’s lap again.

“Ok, we’ll make a plan and find a way to do both. Yeah?” Ashlyn answered and asked all in the same sentence.

“Yeah. Sounds good babe. Can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still hate Jill Ellis today (and Ali's FOMO to the Max post killed me)....and I hate ESPN too. What kind of fuckery was that bullshit last night? Unbelievable. The absolute disrespect and utter indifference to women's sports makes me insane!! Yes, they were airing the WNBA playoffs on ESPN News. And that's great. I'm not trying to take that away from them. But ESPN has always just done the bare minimum when it comes to the USWNT. No pregame show, Ian Darke talking about the fucking men's team instead of the NWSL. Just gimme a fucking break. If you don't want to cover women's soccer then just fucking don't do it!!! As much as I hate Fox in general, I love Fox Sports dedication to the USWNT. Ok. Sorry for the rant. I thought I'd be over it by now. Nope. High school football taking precedence over our own national team has apparently stuck with me into today.


	16. Stalker II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from the Stalker's point of view again...

**********

7-18-29

Finally got a handle on this new schedule. My girl threw me for a little loop but I got it figured out. Ali leaves the house around 8am and takes Josie to soccer camp, right in Gloucester. Then she drives up to Rockport to drop Drew off at a band or music camp – he’s always got his instrument case with him. Today he forgot his music folder and Ali had to come back about 30 minutes later and bring it to him. That must have sucked. She did not look happy. Lol. 

Then Ali drives in to Krieger-Harris. I’m officially just calling it that now. It’s what it should be anyway. Why doesn’t Ali get her name in it? She’s the one who runs everything and does all the hard work. Ash’s never there and Hilary Knight sure as hell isn’t. I think she comes to town, like, once a year and that’s it. Please. Those two owe everything to Ali and they both know it. I didn’t get there early enough to see who came to take care of the other two kids, the twins. I think it’s her mother’s car but I’m not sure. I’ll try and get there earlier tomorrow. But that’s a long-ass drive and it’s so fucking early. I wish I could just sleep somewhere closer. I’ve gotta try to figure something out for that. Maybe the empty house across the street? It’s still for sale. Gotta think about it.

Anyway, then she comes home late in the afternoon. Monday she picked up both kids again, but yesterday and today she just picked up Josie. Not sure where Drew went after camp. That’s interesting...

I still can’t believe that piece of shit Ash left her wife and kids home for 3 weeks. Every time I think about it I just get angry all over again. What a scumbag. I hope she’s not being a dirty whore while she’s away. If she cheats on Ali – so help me...I don’t know what I’ll do.

 

7-24-29

Ok I found it this morning, thank God. I almost lost her again but not today! Not today! So this week Drew is going to Soccer camp and Dodge, the little blonde kid, is going to football, like NFL football, camp. They’re both in Gloucester and she drops them off at about 8:30am. The football surprises me. Is he really gonna play football this fall instead of soccer like the rest of his family? The Kriegers are soccer nuts, all of them – at least they used to be. I wonder if that’s changed now? Maybe they’re all pissed off at soccer because Ali hurt her leg and couldn’t play anymore. That needs some extra thought too.

So what the fuck is up with only the boys going to these sports camps this week?! I can’t believe two lesbian sports fans and athletes are going to teach only their sons to play sports. That definitely doesn’t sound like Ali to me. What kind of bullshit is Ash trying to pull anyway? Does she really think sports are just for her sons? Hard to argue when the evidence is piled up against you. I’ll comment on her IG account and see what she says. That’ll be fun.

Oh yeah, I saw Syd again. Finally got a good look at her and she looks exactly the same. Well, she has more tattoos now. She’s gotta be part witch or something cuz she never ages. Bitch. She brought her three kids – all boys, and stayed over last night. She and Ali let the kids stay up later than usual and then spent the rest of the night watching tv on the couch in the room on the left side of the house. It was great from my treehouse. I could see almost everything. I’ll never understand why people don’t close their curtains all the way at night. Lol. Thank God they don’t! Where would I be then? 

Syd was her same bossy self. Nothing’s changed there. She tells Ali what to do and Ali does it. That’s too bad. I always wished Ali stood up for herself more. Syd walks all over her and she lets her brother run her life too. Stupid Kyle. He got married and I never thought I’d see the day. Honestly, I never thought he’d live to be 30. Piece of shit druggie. I’ll never forgive him for what he put Ali through our senior year. Talk about selfish. Ali sure seems to find the people who will take advantage of her. Ash is another one. Just like Syd and Kyle. God, she could do so much better than all of those assholes. I wonder why she puts up with any of them?

 

7-27-29

I can’t believe she would do something like this without talking to Ali first, but Ash got Drew his first phone so she could text him while she was in Israel. She posted a pic on her IG of their first text convo. Ali must be pissed. Drew just turned 10 in May. He doesn’t even know what kind of wackos are out there on the internet. I can’t believe she did that. More selfishness. So she wouldn’t be lonely – assuming she’s alone over there, which is a big assumption – she got her kid his own phone. How fucking pathetic is that? And I’ll bet Ali has to be the one to try and make sure he doesn’t buy a million different games on it, lol. Or order who knows what on it. Ha ha ha. Just what Ali needed when she’s already working her ass off to take care of the whole family by herself. Now she has to make sure Drew doesn’t do something stupid with his own phone on top of it all. I wonder who Ash is meeting over there? Somebody else replied to one of my comments about Ash having another girlfriend on the side. They said they had dates and proof and everything. Unbelievable. I wonder how long Ali will put up with it?

I sent her another letter yesterday. I just had to tell her what a great mom I think she is. She’s doing it all by herself now too and she’s just doing an amazing job. I wonder if she liked the bracelet? I found a small carved elephant at a shop up in Rockport. She used to love elephants. I hope she still does. I’m going to leave it for her at the house.

 

7-28-29

Aw, it’s Ali’s birthday today. 45 years old and she still looks amazing. That smile of hers...that’ll never get old. It’s been so great getting to know her again this year. I used to try really hard not to think about her – my shrink always said it was better to focus on who I might meet next instead of looking to the past. But fuck that. This has been the best time of my life for the past, I don’t even know how long. 4 months? I love thinking about Ali. It makes me happy. She makes me happy. Happy Birthday to my sweet Ali. I hope she likes the card I sent her. It should be there Monday if she goes to the office then.

Kyle came up for the weekend. Ugh. I guess I should be thankful for all the pics he posts of her. That’s awesome actually. Same with Syd. If not for those two I’d never know what the hell was going on with her. Lol. I’m not really sure what went on with Ali today though. It looked like it was gonna be a beach day but then Kyle posted a pic of them all watching the stupid soccer game and Ash on tv. 

I haven’t checked all of social media yet cuz it was a long day but I don’t think Ash gave her a shout out during the game or anything. Sure, she made a nice post on her IG for her birthday, but that was it. Then at home, the whole family, all the kids and everything, ran out into the backyard like the house was on fire. It was pretty funny. I think they went back to the garden in the corner behind the garage. 

I finally got sick of wondering where everything was so the other night I went and walked around the backyard after everybody was asleep and the house was really dark. Now I feel better about how it’s all laid out. Next time I’ll try the garage door again. It was locked this time but I bet they forget to lock it a lot. There’s a bulkhead too at the back of the house that they might not always keep locked either. I’ll check everything out as soon as I can. I think I’m gonna try and do a few half days – sleep in a bit and leave right after lunch so I can stay later at night. 

I have to make sure I eat though. I keep forgetting and I almost fainted this morning when I woke up. My body was just not having it. Lol. I told it ‘not today motherfucker! It’s Ali’s birthday and we are getting up and going to see her!’ Maybe tomorrow I’ll let myself sleep in.

God, what I wouldn’t give for the chance to spend another birthday with Ali. I don’t think I ever really did a good enough job of letting her know how incredible she was. I was always so...oh fuck, I don’t know how to describe it. So...afraid I guess. I was afraid to feel everything. Maybe anything. I was just a chicken shit and I ruined everything and sometimes it makes me so angry. Soooooooo angry. And I have to remember not to let myself get angry. I shouldn’t think too much about how it used to be. That’s when I start to get into trouble. If I can just stay focused on the future and even the now instead of the past. That’s my challenge. Sometimes I feel like we could make it work if we tried again. I look like hell though. Ugh. I’d have to really make some changes and work hard and keep losing this weight and...aw, who the fuck am I kidding. That’s the kind of stupid shit I don’t have time for. Ali would never be attracted to me again. Would she? I really don’t think so. I still can’t believe she ever was in the first place. But no. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t look back...

Anyway, then, after the garden thing they all ran back into the house and I didn’t see much for a couple of hours. Then, just when I was about to take a break and go pee, they all ran down to the beach! It was weird but they all looked happy. Then a bunch of people came over to the house for her birthday. It looked like she had a good time. She doesn’t seem to miss Ash very much. I guess that’s good. Maybe she’s not as in love with her as I thought? Maybe it won’t hurt so much when they finally split up. Ali won’t let her stay once she realizes there’s someone else on the side. She’d never put up with that bullshit. Not the Ali I knew. Not my Ali. She knows she deserves better than that. Happy Birthday angel.

 

7-31-29

Oh my God!!! I sat in the same room with her today!!! I still feel like I’m going to faint or something. She’s been at work both days this week so far and I’ve been watching and following her around the neighborhood in Kendall Square. She doesn’t always go out to get lunch, but today she and Whitney went to that salad place again and I followed them. It was so exciting. I don’t even know what made me decide to go in, but it was pretty busy and I knew I could blend in. Now that I’ve lost some more weight I really feel like not everybody’s staring at me anymore. They don’t all look up to check out the fat freak who just walked through the door. It feels fucking awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I’m still 176 lbs but I’ve lost almost 30 pounds in just three months. It’s those fucking pills. They make me so fat. I’m feeling great without them. So great. I feel like I could do almost anything with Ali as motivation. I read some comments she made on somebody’s social media – one of her friends – about losing weight after she had her babies and she said it was one of the hardest things she’s ever done. She was so kind and encouraging. I just thought to myself, if Ali says anybody can do it if they stay consistent, then I’m gonna try it too. 

Anyway – I got distracted there...oh yeah! SITTING IN THE SAME ROOM WITH ALI KRIEGER!!!!! That’s where I left off, lol. I get such a thrill when I’m near her. Every time it happens I can feel my whole body just come alive. That sounds like the stupidest shit anybody ever said, but it’s fucking true. I want more. She’s like a drug. Sigh...

I couldn’t really hear what they were saying, or even their voices very much cuz it was lunch time and really busy in there. But I had a pretty good view of them from the other side of the room and every once in a while I could hear her laugh. That’s a beautiful sound. That hasn’t changed a bit. I was always a sucker for that and it almost made me cry when I heard it again today. Making her laugh...damn, I’m starting to cry again right now! What the fuck. Hold it together you big baby!!!! Ok, gotta keep moving or I’ll get sad again. I hate that. I get sad and then I get mad.

Let’s see...oh, I checked out the doctor’s office she went to last week. It just said the generic ‘Hallmark Health’ on the outside but I went in and looked around. I took a picture of the Dr’s office directory board by the elevator and I’ll see what else I can find out. There’s a cancer wing there and then a diagnostics wing too. I don’t know. Maybe it was just a physical or something. She didn’t look very worried about it. I’ll take those doctor’s names and search through Ash’s posts and stuff and see if anything lines up. Maybe I’ll try Syd’s too. She and Ali used to share everything so maybe they share doctors too. Who knows. Maybe Syd can help me after all. Lol. That would drive her crazy. She never liked me. I could read it all over her face every time I ever saw her. I knew she was trying to poison Ali against me – right from the very start. That’s why I tried so hard not to see Syd, even after graduation and everything. She always had so much influence over Ali. And of course Ali didn’t see it. She could never see Syd for who she really was. I hope Syd hasn’t been taking advantage of her all this time. I’ll fucking kill her if she has.

 

8-2-29

Ok, two things tonight. 

1\. I love Ali Krieger.  
2\. I really think Ashlyn might be cheating on her.

I know, I know – appearances can be deceiving and all of that bullshit. But I was on LChat and there’s some pretty good evidence. It’s right there for the world to see, if anybody’s paying attention. Her name is Desiree and she’s part of the production team – maybe she’s even the producer?? I don’t fucking know. But she’s always with Ash over there. Sometimes you don’t see her right away because the camera and everybody is focused on Ash and the rest of the ‘talent’. But she’s always there in the background. There are pictures of them too. The whole group goes out for drinks sometimes after the games or they even went dancing a couple of times. Everybody’s all close together in those pics, very close and laughing and smiling and talking close into their ears. It’s not that subtle really. And there’s a pic of them dancing together! Ash and Desiree. Let’s just say Janice and Edward haven’t danced that close in decades...maybe not ever. Lol. It’s not funny really. I feel awful for Ali. She has to know what’s going on, right? Maybe she knows about it and that’s why she and the kids stayed behind this time? Somebody else on LChat says this Desiree chick knows Ash from before. They’ve worked together before here in the US. This LChat chick has this whole scenario explained where Ash starting having an affair with Desiree back when the twins were born. Desiree was one of the interns who used to go to Ash’s house to film her for the World Cup that summer. I had no idea about any of this, but these LChat girls really know their stuff. I guess Ash got really friendly with Desiree back then, that summer. Then they started sleeping together the next year and kept an on-again, off-again affair going on for five years! Holy fucking shit! Desiree took a new job, a promotion, and lives in London now and that’s the only reason they stopped seeing each other. But she’s part of the production team for the EUROs and she’s the one who pushed so hard to have Ash be part of it too. I’ve heard some bitches question why Ash got invited with all of those famous players. I don’t know a ton about soccer but those other announcers or broadcasters or whatever – they’re the best players in the world and Ash never even got called up to the US National Team. Once it’s all spelled out like that, it’s hard not to believe the stories. 

And Desiree’s not that special. Not that I can see anyway. She’s pretty and she’s got a good job I guess. But she’s not a model or anything. She’s not a gazillionaire who’s just wining and dining Ash and sweeping her off her feet. I don’t get it. I really don’t. I’m gonna keep talking with that chick on LChat. She’s gotta have more answers. 

 

8-5-29

Oh my God, that was a close call tonight at the Breakers game. Jesus I’ve gotta be more careful. Holy shit! I’ve been hanging around the concession and bathroom areas over by the Krieger-Harris suite during Breakers games for a while now. It’s a really good way to see them coming and going from the suite and I’ve talked to Erin and Sarah there a couple more times too. I’m used to staying on my toes over there because Syd and Deb and Ken all go to a lot of the games too and they come in and out of the suite right there too. There’s a spot at the end of one of the standing counters where I can stand and pretend to watch the game while I keep my eye on the suite door instead. One time Ken came out of the suite with Drew, or was it Dodge? I don’t remember. Anyway, he came out the door as I was walking by it to actually use the bathroom and I was just able to bend down and pretend to tie my shoe before he got a good look at my face. It was exciting but goddamn was I scared. Technically, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I’m not breaking any rules or violating any team policies. But I felt guilty as fuck and my adrenaline went crazy! I still remember that feeling like it happened yesterday. Lol. 

I wonder if he would have recognized me? It’s been...holy hell, it’s been 18 years since Ali and I split up! Fuck do I feel old. And I look old. Fat and old and I bet he wouldn’t know who I was if I went right up to him and said hello. I don’t think anybody would recognize me anymore...probably not even Ali. I think about that day a lot now. The day she drove all the way to Connecticut to make sure I was ok. What the fuck was I doing, breaking up with her?! World’s biggest fucking idiot – right here. I have regrets, that’s for sure. Lol. Big fucking regrets. One of them is that I regret breaking up with her by leaving a note on the kitchen counter and moving all my stuff out of the apartment. That was a shitty thing to do. I wouldn’t have blamed her a bit if she never thought about me ever again after that. But then there she was knocking on my parents door two days later wanting to see for herself that I was ok. I’ll...never forget that. As soon as she started to drive away I regretted it. I tried to run after them, after her, but Edward and Janice were ready for it. They held me back. They saved me. I’ll never fucking tell them that though. They’re painful enough to live with without having to admit to how they saved my life. Fuck that shit. But they were right. If I had gone after her we would have gotten back together again. And I would have gone crazier and crazier until I finally snapped. For good. Who knows what I would have done?

How the hell did I get off on this hellish tangent?? These are the thoughts, the memories, that hurt me so much. I have to be better and smarter about using my head so I can stay in control. The only thing keeping me out of the hospital, and off my meds, is that control. I CAN’T think about Ali or losing Ali or missing Ali or I’ll lose what’s left of my goddamned mind.

Right. Deep breath...

I’m glad we don’t live in Connecticut anymore. Ha. Driving into the city or up to Gloucester from Wellesley is hard enough!! Praise Jesus!! Edward and Janice did something that made my life easier! 

So, at tonight’s Breakers game I almost found out if she would recognize me or not. This time, instead of almost bumping into Ken coming out of the suite, I just about ran Ali over as she came out of the ladies room as I was going in. !!! She had Lily with her and she bent over to try and hear the girl better right as we all got to the doorway at the same time. There were a handful of other women waiting in line just inside the door and I just sort of turned to face the wall and got in line and never looked back at her again. I heard her laughing at whatever Lily had said as they left the bathroom. It was beautiful. 

 

8-8-29

Ash is home again. Fucking cheating bitch. The kids are so glad to have her back. You can just see it in their faces. It’s funny though because she just got back on Monday and all four kids have summer camps this week! Lol. I bet Ali did that to punish her for being a cheating whore over there in Israel. I wouldn’t blame her a bit for doing something like that to let Ash know how much she sucks. 

 

8-13-29

So today started off not great and pretty frustrating but turned out to be good anyway. Ali didn’t come to the office today, which is weird for a Monday. She always comes to the office on Mondays because they have a staff meeting or something I think. It’s hard to tell. Anyway, I went up to Gloucester to see what was going on and there was nobody there. Not anybody. No kids. No Ash. No Ali. No dog even. It was just weird. The cleaning lady finished up and then...nothing happened at the house for the entire day. I was kind of starting to freak out a little bit and I thought I must have just missed them the two times I went to Dunkin Donuts to pee. But then, finally, Syd posted on her IG from The Academy (never realized what a stupid, snotty name that was before – leave it to Ash to mess up the name). It was a pic of her and her three boys and Ali and all four of her kids and I felt like I could breathe again. It freaks me out not knowing where she is. Like, I just need to know. Even if I’m not there or whatever, I just need to know where she is or I feel...it’s hard to describe – I feel out of control I think. Yeah, that’s what it is. My mind starts to race and it gets really hard to stay calm and think things through. So, I owe Syd this time for sure. It would have been a long, stressful night if I still didn’t know where Ali was.

But the good news is that I took advantage of not having anybody at the house to go sneak into the garage! It wasn’t even that hard. The door on the side by the backyard was locked but all I had to do was pull it away from that side of the door frame and push it open. I only knew how to do it from our old garage door back in Connecticut. I was always locking myself out and that door worked the same way. It’s just an old door that doesn’t fit very well in the door frame. 

The garage wasn’t that special. All the kids crap was in there and the yard stuff and all sorts of beach stuff like chairs and coolers and surfboards. I don’t know anything about surfboards but they looked really cool. I’ll give Ash her stupid surfing thing – it’s cool. There was a long workbench on the side of the garage and it looked like it had been used a lot but I can’t imagine who would be using it. I don’t think either of them is very handy. Lol. There was a small refrigerator down there too and a sink but no bathroom or anything. The fridge had mostly water and Gatorade in it but there were a bunch of different bottles of beer too. Looked totally random.

The office part upstairs was nicer than I thought a ‘garage office’ would be. It’s nothing fancy but it looks like it has everything Ash needs to do her work. Whatever the hell that is. I still don’t think she actually does anything. Ali works from home sometimes too so they must share the desk. I saw a hand-written list of things to do and I had a really vivid flashback to senior year at BU. Ali’s handwriting looks exactly the same and I just...seeing it on the desk like that made me think of the last time I saw her handwriting and that made me sad. Then I jumped way back to when we used to study in the library at BU together. Sometimes it was just the two of us, sometimes it was a group of us, didn’t matter. Ali would write me a note and pass it over to me and then go right back to reading or whatever she was doing. I’d write something back and push it back across the table to her and we’d go back and forth the whole time we were there. It wasn’t anything crazy romantic or anything, but it was cute and sweet. That’s how we fell in love...silly stuff like that. We met in an English Lit class and we used to love writing to each other. She used to copy lines from poems she really liked, underlining certain words...ah fuck. See, this is when this gets hard for me. That flashback tonight really hurt me. I felt my whole chest tighten up and it was hard to breathe for a few minutes. And now I’ve wasted all this time rambling on about the past here again now. Stupid. I know better. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Just keep moving forward.

I took the list. I’m not even sure why. But I folded it up and put it in my back pocket – just like it was another note from the library. I’m pathetic. Really sad and pathetic but I couldn’t help it. I got really confused and it was like I totally went back in time to senior year. It felt amazing. I left her the small carved elephant I bought for her in Rockport a while ago. I didn’t plan to do that tonight but it felt right. She gave me the note and I gave her the tiny little elephant that would fit easily in the palm of her hand. I hope she likes it. She used to love elephants and I’ll bet she still does.

 

8-15-29

It’s the last night of The Academy and they’ll be back home tomorrow so I decided I’d try to get into the house again tonight. Still no luck. Locked up tight. I was hoping someone would come over to check on things and just leave something open accidentally. I tried all the windows but they were all closed and locked. I think if I really tried hard and put my back into it I could get that bulkhead door open. I feel like I have a good idea of how the house is laid out but I’d love to get inside and confirm it. I don’t know when they’ll all be away again like this and I’m really mad at myself that I didn’t work on getting into the house earlier in the week. The garage was great, but damn – the flashback really threw me for a loop and I needed a day to get past it. 

I was hoping for another make out scene on the porch swing at the staff cabin this week, but no such luck this time. Who am I kidding?? Lol I’ve been so lucky so far and I don’t mean to sound greedy. I’d still love to see Ali like that again though. I also can’t figure out why she’s so nice to Ash after the whole cheating in Israel problem. It doesn’t make any sense. Maybe they’re gonna try and make it work for the kids or something. They sure look good together. So beautiful.

 

8-19-29

I’m starting to get frustrated now. For the second week in a row they’ve just taken off and I’ve had no clue where they were going or for how long. It’s starting to piss me off. They came back from The Academy Thursday night. They hung around the house on Friday. Then Saturday they were gone again. It’s Sunday night and they’re still not back. No IG posts to help me out. Nothing. Fuck this shit. I know Ali’s not doing this on purpose to hurt me – she wouldn’t do that. She always tried to take care of me. I know she’s not trying to hurt me but it still fucking hurts. I hate not knowing where she is. I probably won’t be able to sleep until I figure it out.

 

8-21-29

Finally!! Ash saved me this time and yes it sucks actually writing that down. She posted a pic of them on a boat on some water somewhere. It has to be a lake because she used #lakehouse with the pic. Where the fuck is it though? She left out the location information. So really, thanks for nothing Ash. Dumb bitch.

 

8-23-29

One of the scariest things that’s ever happened to me in my entire life happened tonight and my palms are still sweating from it. Seriously. So they’re up at the lake house in New Hampshire somewhere. I looked into driving up there to see if I might be able to just find them somehow. But there are too many lakes up there to even be able to guess. So that won’t work. I just have to wait and hope that somebody that they’re with puts the location information down on their next post. That’s my only hope. And it’s Thursday night already so...I don’t know. Back to the drama!! 

I decided to try the bulkhead and really give it some tough pulls to massage it open, lol, like I did with the garage door. Which, by the way, is still not fixed so I was able to go and sit at her desk for awhile too. I yanked the fuck out of that bulkhead door and it finally cracked open with a loud metal snapping sound. And then the alarm went off!!!! I kid you not. I have never run so fast in my life. After I stopped running, all the way down to my car in the parking lot of the Inn by the beach, I realized that I’ve seen the alarm stickers on the windows when I’ve tried them before. I don’t know how I could have been so stupid. If they’re going to alarm the house and put them on every single window then they’re sure as shit gonna put one on the damned bulkhead door! Fucking idiot. 

I’m really lucky and happy that they didn’t have the garage alarmed. That’s kind of rare to not have that there but oh well. Lucky me. I saw the cop car with the lights shining brightly as it came to a stop in front of the house. Two cops got out and talked into their walkie talkie things up by their shoulders and then walked around the yard and garage and stuff. One of them looked like he was going to go down to the lot next door with the woods and the treehouse, but he didn’t’.

Motherfucking lesson learned!!! The house is locked up tight when they go away. That’s for sure.

 

8-25-29

I can’t believe I’m missing Ali and Ashlyn’s anniversary dinner date tonight!! I don’t really know what they’re doing but it’s a Saturday night and it’s their actual anniversary so I’m sure they’re going out and doing something to celebrate. Fucking Edward and Janice are having THEIR stupid anniversary dinner party tonight and I have to be there. Fucking hell. It’s not even their actual anniversary! That was three days ago for Christ’s sake. I’ve known about it for months. They’re right. But still... I don’t fucking wanna go! 50 years - big deal. Who the hell cares? Not me. If their marriage is what it’s like to be married for 50 years then no fucking thank you. 

Ali’s been married for 12 years and I just can’t believe that sometimes when I think about it. Waking up to the same person every single morning for 12 years. What the hell does that even feel like? We were together for 6 years, well, more like 5 years if you factor in the split. I still can’t believe...any of that was real. I can’t believe I was lucky enough to have her in the first place. It really does feel like a dream now. The best dream ever. Then she got pushy and demanding and started asking too much of me. I just couldn’t be who she wanted me to be. I’m not gonna go proclaim my love for you on a fucking Pride parade float or some shit like that. I’m a private person and I don’t like a lot of PDA. So what’s the big deal? Since when is that a crime? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. But even after that...we got back together. We were young but we knew we belonged together. She knew it too. Even stupid Syd had to admit we deserved another chance. Ha ha ha. That was one of the best moments of my entire life – watching Syd’s face twist into four different levels of angry and frustrated when Ali took me back. I’ll never forget it – in the lobby of their fucking condo building. Ha ha ha. I’ve never been more nervous either but Jesus what a rush when she hugged me and kissed me and said we could try again. Fuck yeah. Right in front of Syd too. That was the high point of my life, right there. I peaked at 26 and it’s been all downhill since then. That’s for sure. 

I wonder what they’ll do tonight? Ash will probably take her out to a fancy restaurant or something predictable like that. Then home for some anniversary sex. I hope Ali tells her no. Ash doesn’t deserve to have her that way. Not anymore. Not if she’s cheating on her. It’s 3pm and she hasn’t even posted anything yet wishing Ali a happy anniversary or anything. What’s up with that? Ali hasn’t said anything either but that’s probably because she’s still mad about Ash’s slut on the side over in Israel. I don’t know why she puts up with that shit. We broke up because I wouldn’t hold her hand in public but she’ll stay with Ash even though she’s a cheating whore. What the actual fuck?! Maybe they’ll post a pic tonight when they’re all dressed up. Ash posted a few of those in the past. As much as I hate her right now, she has come through with the pics over the years. They always look so good together. Well Ali looks gorgeous no matter what...that’s just a fact.

That’s the only remotely good thing about going to this stupid party tonight – I’ll get to see lots of family and show them how much weight I’ve lost and how good I’m doing. Oh shit. I wonder what the hell I can wear? Fuck. My nice dress will be way too big now. Fuck. Ok, gotta go...

 

8-28-29

Holy fucking shit! Oh my God my hand is shaking as I write this...my heart is pounding so hard!!! I just walked around THE INSIDE of her fucking house!!!!!!!!! Shit I can’t believe it. Oh Jesus, breathe...just breathe you idiot. Calm down and breathe...

I’m at the McDonald’s right now trying to cool off and calm down. I want to write this all down before I forget it. God, did that really happen? Fuck yes it did! I can’t believe I did that. Wow. 

So, yesterday I watched them all leave the house and go down to the beach for most of the day. It’s insanely hot this week, in the high 90’s and not going down til the weekend. They say it’ll be our last official heat-wave of the summer. I wonder what the record is for the longest heat-wave. Lol. Anyway – yesterday the cleaning lady showed up and then about an hour later Ali, Ash and all four kids walked down to the beach and didn’t come back until almost 1pm. I was about to move down to the beach, thinking they’d just hang out there and eat lunch there or something. But then I saw them coming back up the street. Lily was crying and Josie looked as pissed off as I’ve ever seen her and Ash was walking in between them holding one hand each. She looked pretty pissed too, honestly. Lol. Ali was a few steps behind with most of their crap and the two boys. They were both helping her carry stuff and looking pretty cute. Then in the afternoon they all went someplace else and I missed it. I couldn’t get to my car fast enough to find them again. Ash posted something about school shopping later so I guess they went to the mall. 

But today I decided to be ready in case they left the house again and went to the beach in the morning. I went to the treehouse instead so it would be easier to get to the house without anybody seeing me in the daytime than if I had stayed across the street in the ‘for sale’ house garage. My hunch paid off – big time! Same thing happened today. They left the house at about 9am and went down to the beach again. Damn Ali still looks so good. You know she just woke up, fed the kids and got ready for the beach and still looked like that. No shower probably. No make-up. I wish she hadn’t worn that beach wrap though. I almost gave up my plan just to go down to the beach and get a good look at her in her bathing suit again. Fucking gorgeous.

See how distracted I get when I start to think about her??? I have to really concentrate now to keep my thoughts together. That’s why I’m writing this all down right now. Concentrate!!!

So I waited til they were all the way down to the bottom of the street, by the footbridge that leads to the beach. I could see them for a while from the treehouse even though the leaves were pretty thick. Dodge always has on some neon color somewhere so he’s easy to spot. Today was orange – like lifeguard safety orange bathing suit. And he’s loud as fuck too. Lol. At least I think it was him. Hard to tell sometimes. They all sound alike a little bit. Even Drew has this weird high-pitched scream thing that he does, I think, to be funny? I don’t know. But I heard them get all the way down there before I climbed down from the treehouse. I looked around and didn’t see anybody but I was really careful as I went up the path to the gate. It was hotter than hell and I could feel the sweat dripping down my chest – and I wasn’t sure if it was from the walk up the hill or the heat or just my nerves! Then, all of a sudden, I remembered the dog! What was I going to do about the damned dog?! She wasn’t in the backyard so I opened the gate and went inside. I knew from watching them this summer that they usually leave that side door unlocked, the red one by the driveway, when they do the beach thing. People are always coming and going back and forth and needing things for their kids and stuff like that. So I decided to try that door first rather than try the bulkhead again. I was going to try that as plan B. 

I went through the gate by the kitchen and the driveway and walked as casually as I could towards that big red door that they use all the time. I couldn’t believe it when I turned the knob and pushed the door open! I stood there stunned for a minute and then my adrenaline just kicked in and I felt like I could run 300 miles an hour if I had to. It was a weird but awesome feeling. I waited for the dog to come flying at me but she never did. I looked around the small entry room and saw the kitchen off to my right and then a living room off to my left. When I leaned my head into the living room I heard a thumping sound and I saw the dog curled up in the corner of the couch wagging her tail. Thank fucking God! I don’t love dogs but I don’t hate them either so I was pretty psyched that this one wasn’t going to bother me. I told her hello and smiled and just kept looking around the room. She never got up until I moved into the other hallway at the front of the house. Then she just followed me around. Dumb dog. But nice dog. Ha ha. Whew.

It was kinda strange being in there. I’ve seen so many pictures from Ash’s posts and their other friends’ posts that it was familiar to me even thought I’d obviously never been inside before. But then, it was all different too. Like if you take a picture and sort of squint at it really hard until it starts to look a little skewed?? I don’t know how to explain it. But it was kind of torture because I wanted to spend four days in there but I knew I had to be quick because they could come back at any minute and then what the fuck would I do? Besides pee myself and probably have a fucking heart attack.

My main goal was to map out the house. I had no idea how the rooms were positioned other than making some assumptions based on all the pictures that had been posted. And that one time I walked around the outside of the house but that only helped with the first floor. But they never post pics of how things are laid out. I was terrified that somebody would come home early so I just went as fast as I could, snapping pictures with my phone like a fucking blind idiot. Lol. It’s kind of funny now, but only because I didn’t get caught. I haven’t even looked at them yet. I bet they look like complete shit and I’m gonna be so pissed at myself. But I did the best I could. I started in that side entry room that they always use and I just went clockwise around the first floor. I found the door down to the basement so that’s good. If I ever do get back in there, through the bulkhead, I’ll know where I am and where I can go from there. The front staircase is really cool. I like it a lot. It’s not really, like, a grand staircase but it’s big and wide and cool looking. Everything in there is sort of old-fashioned. I mean the house itself, not the furniture or anything. But it’s like a big old New England style house. I don’t know what it would be called but it’s definitely not modern. There’s a half bathroom on the first floor that I wouldn’t have guessed was there either, with a pantry behind it. They’re both tucked into the middle of the house so you can’t see them from any of the windows.

I was right about the bedrooms on the second floor on the left side of the house – the ones I can see from the treehouse. And the two boys’ rooms are on the driveway side of the house with a shared bath between them. The back third of the second floor is the master bedroom and bathroom. I was so tempted to spend some time in there. It just felt like Ali to me so much. It’s a different comforter than the pic I’ve seen – but that pic is from when Drew was just a baby so I would hope it’s different now! Lol. Ash stopped posting pics from there. I wonder why? The master bath is pretty cool. There’s a huge tub and a glass shower and it looked nice. I totally get what Ash said at the Newlywed Game about Ali hanging stuff all over the place. No shit! Her bras and slips and lingerie was hanging everywhere in there. I’m not proud of it, but I touched one of the lingerie pieces. I don’t even know what it was – I don’t keep up on lingerie. JFC. But it was a strong blue, but not dark blue. It wasn’t light blue either. It was really really soft and silky. Maybe it was silk? The bed was where I thought it was and it was good to see where everything else was. There’s a weird little entryway into the room from the hallway. That’s where Ash’s closet is – I looked inside and it was definitely hers. There’s a fireplace in there too by the side of the bed. I never knew that. I wonder how often they use it? Maybe it’s just for show – like decorative? There’s a dressing table in the corner by the bathroom – right on the side of the house I can see from the treehouse. I could totally picture Ali sitting there doing her make-up every morning. 

It was hard to do but I left the bedroom and went up to the third floor and wow. That was a surprise. I really had no idea what to expect up there so I was going to be surprised no matter what. The whole third floor is just two big rooms, and a hallway and then the back of the house there is attic storage. I opened the door and looked. It’s all kind of a mess but I guess, what attic isn’t? The room on the driveway side is a big bedroom with a queen size bed and a couch in it too. That must be where Meg stays when she’s here. It didn’t really look too much like a teenager’s room but what do I know? I haven’t been in a teenager’s room in forever. The other room up there is the wow room. It’s an art studio! There’s an easel and a whole bunch of painting supplies and stuff. There’s a big work table in the middle of the room and it had some sketches or something on it that looked like the kids must be working on. How fucking awesome is it that those kids get to have a whole freaking studio for themselves? I can’t even imagine. I really liked that room a lot. The view from up there was beautiful. I could see down to the beach, no details or anything (but I could have if I had brought my fancy camera!). 

I heard a sound outside and almost had a heart attack. No, but for real. I looked out onto the driveway and saw some young-looking guy unlocking the door to the house next door and a car in the driveway that hadn’t been there before. That scared the shit out of me and I moved the fuck along. I was going to just leave because I’d gone through all the rooms so far but I went back to the master bedroom and sat at the dressing room table – just for a minute. I tried not to look at myself in the mirror. I focused on the little things that were on the table. The things that Ali must use every day or maybe the things that meant something to her. There were all sorts of hair-ties (some things don’t change I guess – she was always leaving those everywhere). There was a brush and a comb and some other things – a hot curler set at the back of the table and two different make-up cases. There was a silver jewelry box, oval shaped, that had waves etched into it. It was beautiful. I lifted up the lid and there were some rings and earrings inside and then, at the bottom, there was a blue stone. It was the coolest thing. It had, like, different shades of blue in it, all in sections. Like when you get a tan with different tan lines. Your lower leg is tanned dark, then a little lighter near your knee, then even whiter up by your thigh. It was like shades of blue but they didn’t go in order like that. Fuck it’s hard to explain. But it just looked really beautiful – so I took it. I’m not even sure why. But it felt almost...spiritual in a way. That sounds stupid. But as I sat there with that blue stone in my hand I knew I had to leave something in its place. I didn’t know what to do though because I hadn’t planned on this and I didn’t have anything to leave her. All I had was the clothes on my back and my phone. That was it! Except for my necklace. My beautiful gold cross that I always wear, no matter what. Sometimes when I’m upset or starting to feel like I’m going to lose myself again, I just reach up and rub that small flat cross between my fingers and it makes me feel so much better. That cross has gotten me through so many tough times over the years. It’s pretty much the only thing Edward and Janice have ever given me that was helpful. But I couldn’t take the stone and not leave something behind. That just didn’t feel right. So I took my cross off and put it into the jewelry box. It still feels weird to not have it around my neck. I hope Ali likes it. 

And that was it for my tour of the house! Well, I ran down into the basement before I left. I wanted to see what was down there and I’m glad I did. There’s a gym down there and a family room type playroom for the kids. It looks like Santa’s freaking workshop down there for fuck’s sake! I had no idea how much crap came with kids. But their rooms are all full of stuff and so is the living room and then the whole basement room too! Wow. I didn’t think Ali would spoil her kids like that. She was never spoiled. Maybe Ashlyn is the one who gives them too many things. Probably. She’s like a big child herself most of the time. It makes sense. But the big takeaway here is that I was able to get familiar with the house. It was incredible and I can’t wait to get back in there. Next time I’ll be ready and I’ll bring something that I can leave for her. I hope I’ll be ok without my cross. I really miss it. But Ali’s worth it. I know she is.


	17. The Secret Admirer and the Tick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note to tell you all that the stalker thing isn't going to get resolved right away. I don't want you to read only for clues about the stalker, etc. and miss the rest of the story that's going on around it. Unless you want to focus entirely on the stalker then go for it. You do you. But just know that this installment is going to wrap up at the end of this 'stalker arc' that we're exploring. I think we'll be at about 30 chapters but I'm not there yet so I can't tell you exactly. So pace yourselves, please. I worry about the angst and drama I'm causing sometimes. Sorry, not sorry? Thank you for reading!!!!

“Alliiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!” 

The brunette stopped washing the dog’s water bowl, dropping it in the sink, and ran up the backstairs of the big old house to see what had caused her wife to scream out her name in such a terrifying volume and pitch. It was Thursday night and everybody was exhausted from the last day of The Academy and the closing party they had enjoyed, complete with fireworks, that night before making the drive back home. It was almost 10pm and they had just gotten all the kids to bed and Persey loved up and the house sort of situated. The brunette had been too tired to deal with all the laundry that night and had settled on cleaning the kitchen and dog bowls before going up to bed and passing out. Even though they hadn’t been there since Sunday morning, Ali always liked to wipe everything down because she knew her slightly OCD wife appreciated it. Ashlyn, still hoping her wife might be in the mood for some more-private, less-hurried sex than they had enjoyed the evening before in the shed up at the soccer camp, had unpacked their toiletries and was taking a shower.

When Ali got to the top of the backstairs and entered the master bedroom she could see the bathroom door was closed and knew Ashlyn was behind it. She also saw a wide-eyed Drew and Lily standing at the foot of the bed in their jammies, looking anxiously at the master bathroom door. Drew was awake because he was allowed to read for an extra half hour on his kindle after he was put to bed. Lily was awake partly because she took a long time to settle down and fall asleep at night and partly because her bedroom was right next to the master bathroom and she had heard Ashlyn’s scream louder than anybody else.

“Mama yelled” the little girl stammered, standing close to her big brother and leaning into him but they both looked straight at Ali. They needed to know how scared they should be if their Mama was as afraid as she sounded.

“I know guys, I heard her too” Ali spoke quickly as she crossed the room to the bathroom door, trying to give the kids a reassuring smile.

“Alliiiiiiiiii!!!!!” 

They all jumped at the same time and Ali felt her heart race as fear swept over her now too.

“I’m sure she’s fine. Just...stay here” she gave them a look to let them know she wasn’t kidding as she opened the door and went inside. She closed the door quickly behind her and spoke again before her eyes could even start to focus. “I’m right here. Stop yelling.”

Ali didn’t mean to sound like a bitch but she knew that whatever was bothering her wife wasn’t going to be any easier to deal with if all four kids were up and spectating.

“Oh thank God” Ashlyn’s voice sounded absolutely panicked.

The brunette took in the scene in front of her. The shower was off and Ashlyn was standing in front of her in the middle of the bathroom floor with a big, fluffy white bath towel at her feet. The mirror was fogged up and the air was thick and damp from the shower, even though the built-in fan was trying to vent the room. 

“What’s the matter?” she asked as she took a step and stood right in front of the keeper, anxiously looking her naked form up and down for any signs of injury or trouble.

Ashlyn had one hand between her legs and was standing in a hunched over position and breathing heavily. It wasn’t the good kind of heavy breathing though. The look of sheer terror in her hazel eyes told Ali something was very definitely wrong. The brunette put her hand on her wife’s shoulder gently and bent her head closer as Ashlyn tried to catch her breath.

“Honey, you have to tell me what’s wrong. You’re scaring me, and the kids” she nodded over her shoulder towards the bathroom door.

“Don’t let them in here!” her eyes shot up, wild with panic.

“I won’t” Ali moved her body so it was between the closed door and Ashlyn’s naked body, just in case. “Stop yelling and tell me what the hell is going on” she gritted out, finding it very difficult not to yell herself.

Ashlyn lifted her worried eyes up and met her favorite cinnamon ones, holding Ali’s gaze for a few more seconds before swallowing hard.

“It’s...it’s...it’s a tick!” she whisper yelled and then closed her eyes with a loud groan as if she was in terrible pain.

“Oh” Ali’s shoulders visibly relaxed and she was about to tease her tough keeper but Ashlyn gave her a desperate, pleading look that made her stop speaking and start wondering what the big deal really was.

They had both been pulling ticks off of the kids and dogs for years. They had woods at the back of their yard and an entire empty lot forest next door. Ticks were nothing new or particularly frightening. Nobody enjoyed finding a tick – well, maybe Dodge, but only because he thought it was cool that they lived by eating your blood. When it came right down to it, he winced and whimpered just like everybody else did when it was time to pull the parasite off of his body. And as was typical of the Krieger household, Ashlyn was extra squeamish about the chore for the same reason she didn’t kill the spiders or house centipedes that occasionally graced the big old house with their presence. She didn’t like bugs. Ali didn’t like them either but somebody had to do it and it came down to the brunette doing the nasty work, as usual. She was reasonably ok with ticks until she had to touch them – which sometimes happened if they weren’t inside the house and near tweezers. Their little feet or claws or whatever they were that grabbed onto you made her skin crawl and if she ever felt them while she was removing the tick – she dropped it and squealed and hopped around like the old cartoons where the women jumped up on kitchen chairs whenever they saw a mouse. But Ali was smart. She trained herself to stay calm and take the extra two minutes to get the tweezers and remove the tick that way. It saved time and stress and drama. And they didn’t have to spend even more time trying to find the damned tick she had dropped or flung either. Ashlyn had spent two hours one evening trying to find a tick her wife had flung in the kitchen during removal.

“No, you don’t understand” Ashlyn shook her head and gave her wife one of the most serious looks the brunette had ever seen. “It’s down here” she dropped her eyes and looked towards her hand that was still between her legs.

“What?” Ali couldn’t keep the shock from her face as her eyebrows went up to her hairline. She began to understand why her wife was so upset. “Where? Show me” she commanded, her resolve quickly returning as she got on her knees in front of the still-slightly hunched over blonde.

In an awkward series of maneuvers and positions that left Ali still unable to see the actual tick, Ashlyn never released her hand from its firm hold between her legs.

“Well I can’t see anything if you don’t move your hand!” Ali finally raised her voice, frustrated.

“But if I let go of it, it might move somewhere else!”

“Wait, you’re actually holding it? Like, touching it?” Ali sat back on her heels in sincere wonderment at the notion.

“Yes! I felt something while I was drying off and I looked down to see what it was, you know how sometimes you get a little bump or a...a...cysty thing and it just goes away?” Ashlyn looked at her wife for confirmation and continued when the brunette nodded. “And I felt...” she swallowed again, “the tick” she closed her eyes and shuddered.

“And you never let go?”

Ashlyn shook her head slowly from side to side with the most pathetic look on her face.

“Ok. Ok” Ali thought as fast as she could while squeezing her nervous wife’s hip in front of her. “You sit on the toilet” she instructed as she stood up to get the tweezers from the drawer in the bathroom vanity. 

Suddenly, as if the change in air from knee height to standing height had made everything lighter and brighter, Ali found the whole thing funny. She knew Ashlyn was about as terrified and skeeved out as humanly possible so she tried desperately hard not to laugh. But it wasn’t easy. She swallowed a giggle and covered up a chuckle with a cough right before she turned back around to face her wife who had now positioned herself on the lidded toilet seat with her hand still holding fast to the tick.

“You know there’s a big-ass mirror right there, right?” Ashlyn shot her a dirty look. “I’m glad this is so fucking funny for you Al. I’m dying here, barely holding it together and you’re just having a blast” she sneered, her fear and anger impossible to miss. “Real fucking nice.”

“I’m sorry” Ali frowned and felt awful for finding their situation amusing. She knew if their positions were reversed she’d be just as pissed off as Ashlyn was, if not more. “I really am” she patted the keeper’s shoulder as she knelt down between her legs again, this time they were spread out wide so she had a clear view – of the back of Ashlyn’s hand. “But it looks like you’re holding it together pretty tightly there” she couldn’t resist, referencing her wife’s death grip on her vulva and bursting into laughter as soon as she spoke the words. She took a deep breath after a minute and let another barb fly. “Are you cutting off blood flow or anything? Or was that the plan all along? Squeeze so tight it’ll have nothing to feed on?”

“Laugh it up” Ashlyn tried to stay angry but she had to admit it was kind of funny. She felt less frightened about it because Ali was with her, but she was still freaked out about having the tick on her. “Just get the fucking thing off of me!” she said through gritted teeth and just the faintest hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. Somehow her face was flushed but still pale at the same time.

“Is Mama ok?” Drew’s small voice asked from the other side of the closed bathroom door. “Can we come in?”

“No!” Ashlyn shouted and experienced a whole other level of panic at the idea of her children seeing her in that position.

“She’s gonna be fine in just a minute. I promise” Ali replied quickly, hoping to avoid tired and anxious tears from Lily at Ashlyn’s abrupt reply. “She has a tick, that’s all...”

“Oooh can we see?” Drew’s voice sounded excited now. It was the gross-factor appeal thing. All the kids always wanted to see everybody else’s cuts and scrapes and injuries. The bloodier the better. Ticks were always a popular draw because they were so gross and they all hated them – even the grown-ups.

“Yeah, I wanna see it” Lily added and one of them started to turn the doorknob.

“No!” Ashlyn bellowed again in her high voice. “Don’t come in!” She gave Ali a hard look and whispered to her “Did you lock the door?”

“Just sit still and move your hand and we’ll be done here...”

“Do not come in here. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Aw Mama” Drew whined but Lily decided to push her luck and kept turning the doorknob.

“We just wanna see...”

“Will you please?!” Ashlyn pushed her wife away from her and towards the door with fear in her eyes again. “Jesus fucking Christ” she rolled her eyes and grabbed for the towel she had abandoned on the floor several minutes earlier.

“Guys, stop” Ali spoke sternly to the door as she twisted the knob back and locked it. “Mama’s fine but she doesn’t want you to see her tick. It’s her decision. Now go back to bed and I’ll come tuck you in again in a few minutes.” She stood still for 10 seconds and didn’t hear anything. “Get going. Now. Or you’ll be punished.”

She heard grumbling and shuffling of small feet on the floor as they slowly made their way out of the master bedroom. Honestly, she had no idea if they were still in the bedroom or not, but they at least weren’t right in front of the door anymore. In her ongoing effort to be as truthful as possible with the kids, Ali had unwittingly set off the era known in the Krieger family as the time when nobody wanted anybody else to see their injuries or ticks anymore. It was annoying and frustrating and after about 3 weeks of it, both mothers wished they had just let the damned kids into the master bathroom in the first place to avoid the whole thing afterward. It was a long 6 months before the kids’ curiosity and love of gross things finally got things back to normal.

“Can we please, for the love of God, get this fucking thing off of me now?” Ashlyn pleaded when Ali got back into position, on her knees between her keeper’s legs in front of the toilet.

“Yeah babe. I’m sorry. You’re being very patient” Ali smiled sweetly at her wife and kissed her knee before getting right in there with the tweezers at the ready. “You know you’re gonna have to let go of it so I can grab it with the tweezers, right?” Ali looked up at her wife’s anguished face and used every ounce of will-power in her possession not to laugh again.

“You HAVE to get it though. Don’t screw around and don’t waste any time” Ashlyn listed off her demands, words flying quickly from her lips. “Just grab it and get it the fuck off of me...”

“Ashlyn, I promise” Ali squeezed her upper thigh and gave her another reassuring smile. “I’ll grab it right away. I swear honey.”

“Are you ready?” Ashlyn spread her legs wider, as if that would make a difference.

“Ready” Ali answered as she held the tweezers as close as possible while still leaving room for her wife to remove her hand. She felt Ashlyn’s whole body tense up to a level she didn’t know existed. “Go for it. I’ve got you babe.”

The keeper took a deep breath and released her thumb and forefinger that had been holding onto the tick the whole time. She pulled her hand up quickly and immediately began repeating “Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!” for a full 30 seconds before Ali was able to close the tweezers around it.

“Got it! Hold still...”

“Just get it off of me!!”

Ali pulled and the tick came out of Ashlyn’s skin. It had attached itself to her outer labia, about midway down, and wasn’t dug in too well yet. Thank God. The keeper jumped up and lifted the toilet seat so Ali could flush the tick and be rid of it.

“There. All gone” Ali grinned as she watched the love of her life do an odd, contorted dance around the bathroom, finally able to show her extreme discomfort. Ashlyn made groans and squeals of disgust as she literally tried to shake the yucky feeling off of her flailing body. “Feel better now?”

“Oh my God...that was...” but she couldn’t put a coherent sentence together yet. “I’m never going...” she started another time but didn’t finish that sentence either, still gyrating around the room. “Stupid woods...fucking camping...”

“Come here” Ali giggled and motioned towards the toilet seat again. “I have to make sure I got all of it...”

“You didn’t check yet?!” Ashlyn bellowed, horror filling her exhausted face again.

“How could I? You jumped up like something bit you in the ass” Ali laughed and patted the toilet seat. “Get over here.”

“Oh my God Al, please make sure you get it all...oh fuck” she moaned as she sat down again and spread her legs out. “Jesus, please” she prayed to the bathroom ceiling as Ali began to look closely at one of her favorite areas of her keeper’s body.

All moms and most dads knew you had to be careful when removing ticks. If they were dug-in deep they might leave part of their mouth or a leg behind when they were extracted. That leftover mouth or leg part could get infected and lead to other problems if it wasn’t removed. Just the thought of part of the tick still being in her softest flesh made Ashlyn start to sweat again.

“It wasn’t in very deep at all, I’m sure it’s all out, but just let me doublecheck...”

“Triple check. Quadruple check for God’s sake...” Ashlyn was about to absolutely lose her shit after holding it together up until that point.

Ali got as close as she would if they were enjoying sexy times together and spread the neatly trimmed short hairs this way and that as she inspected every inch of Ashlyn’s vulva. She wasn’t messing around. She checked all of her favorite places but there was nothing sexy about any of it. Ashlyn was half terrified and half skeeved out and Ali could barely keep her eyes open from exhaustion. The brunette finally pressed a soft kiss to her wife’s mound and gave her thigh a pat.

“You’re good honey. It’s all gone. We got it all and you have nothing to worry about” she looked up and smiled as relief washed over Ashlyn’s tense, tired face. “I promise” she added when she felt her wife’s anxiety start to fight off the calmness. She leaned down and let her lips rest gently on the spot where the offending tick had been, only a few minutes earlier. She held them there until Ashlyn’s body slumped and relaxed and a loud exhale of breath left her lungs. Ali kissed the spot and then kissed her mound again and then stood up and gave her a peck on the lips as the keeper reached for her hand and held it. “I promise babe, there’s nothing else down there that doesn’t belong there.”

“Ugh, I feel like I might throw-up” Ashlyn groaned as Ali walked towards the door, tugging her hand free from her keeper’s as she went. “Where are you going? Why are you leaving me?” she asked in a small, spent voice.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes” Ali chuckled as she turned to look at her wife, slumped unceremoniously on the toilet seat with a bath towel covering her torso. “You know those kids aren’t in bed yet” she rolled her eyes. “And I need to get Persey some water and take her outside. But then I’ll come up. I can’t wait to get into bed. I’m soooo tired.”

Persey, poor dog, was still struggling to adjust to life without Fred. She had always been more neurotic than the caramel-colored dog, but after Fred died it got worse. Instead of bounding out the side door of the family room into the backyard every night before bedtime, as she and Fred had done their entire lives, Persey paused at the threshold until either Ali or Ashlyn nudged her forward. The moms were more concerned with the number of bugs that snuck into the house through the open door while the dog contemplated life every night. Finally Ashlyn figured out that Persey was scared or uncomfortable going outside in the dark by herself. She had never had to do it before because Fred had always been right by her side, step for step with her as they went on one last reconnaissance mission in the backyard each night. After that, the nighttime routine for putting the house to bed included standing in the backyard with Persey for a few minutes so she could go out and do her business before they all went up to bed for the night.

“Well you’re not getting into our bed until I check you out” Ashlyn let her eyes drop to her wife’s crotch and then flicked them back up with a new wave of worry creasing her face.

“Me? Why do you think I need to be checked out?” Ali tilted her head, a little offended at the idea that her own personal hygiene might have been lacking.

“Why not you?” Ashlyn stood up and wrapped the towel around herself properly. “We were both having sex in the same place, on the same grass...”

“Shhhh...” Ali hissed as a blush filled her cheeks. “Keep your voice down. They’re probably still in our bedroom” she giggled. “God, do you think that’s where you got it?”

“I do. Where else could it have been?” she paused as Ali’s face showed her processing the idea. “I got up early this morning with Dodge and didn’t get to take a shower until tonight” she shuddered again as the thought of the tick came back to her.

“But I wasn’t lying in the grass like you were” Ali smiled at the memory of the sex they had snuck off into a shed at The Academy to enjoy. It was only the night before but it felt like so long ago. It had been a busy and lengthy day for all of them. “You held me up, remember? And I took a shower this morning and didn’t feel anything...”

“I don’t care. I’m checking you anyway. It might have gotten into your shorts when they were on the ground like it did mine” she shrugged. “Maybe that’s how I got it. We don’t know. And I’m not taking any chances.”

True to her word, Ashlyn checked her wife’s entire body for ticks once Ali came back upstairs to go to bed. She planned on checking each of the kids in the morning as well. The idea that there might be a tick in the house with them was almost enough to keep the blonde awake all night long. Her body was so exhausted that her mind was forced to give in to sleep eventually though. They had one day to get unpacked from The Academy, do all the laundry, then get everybody re-packed to go up to the NH lake house for the 4-family vacation on Saturday morning. 

There wasn’t supposed to be a 4-family vacation to the NH lake house that summer. They had all agreed that the big trip to Disney World for February vacation was going to be the big expensive group gathering for that year. But the closer August got on the calendar, the harder it became to not make the journey North. Molly reserved the lake house anyway, just in case. And as they started talking about it together in June and then July, they realized that they had all been planning on going up there anyway. Ryan Flanagan could only be there for the very last night of the week, and Dom Dwyer could only be there for the first weekend. Niki had to drive back to Boston for a mandatory coach’s meeting at BC in the middle of the week, but it worked well because she was able to bring 13-1/2 year old Noah Cross and almost 12-year old Cassius Dwyer back up with her after their respective three-day camps that week. 

Everything felt discombobulated and out of sorts that week, but they still managed to have fun and relax together. Ali spent way too much time on her phone but she had been out of the office for the week before as well so several things simply couldn’t wait any longer. Whitney, Molly and Ashlyn all spent some time working remotely that week too. But they did manage to spend more than a few evenings drinking and laughing around the big table in the kitchen that looked out onto the lake. The six women shared stories of their daily mom lives and tales from their work lives too. There were sad stories about their kids’ failures at school or in sports or just life in general. There were scary stories about different health issues and concerns among the large group. And there were funny stories about everything else and the women ended up crying every night from laughing too damned hard. 

They talked about 7-1/2 year old Penny Cross getting her tonsils removed back in May and the fun that had accompanied that. It had been no fun at all for Niki or Molly Cross. They talked, without going into too much detail, about Drew’s stomach issues that were slowly but surely starting to get better the longer he worked with Dr. Murphy, the child psychologist. They talked about Whitney’s scare with a false-positive result for breast cancer a few months earlier, and that led them into Ali’s quarterly ultrasounds. Sydney’s thyroid problem and 7-1/2 year old James Dwyer’s apparent lack of giving a damn were next on the docket. The laid-back boy still did things at his own pace, much to the consternation of his parents and teachers. They laughed hysterically at Ashlyn and her tick story. The keeper was mortified that her wife had shared it with the group and got some payback before the night was finished.

“Go ahead and laugh it up” Ashlyn nodded her head as the other 4 women cracked up at Ali’s story about the tick in her wife’s labia. “I’m glad you all think it’s soooooooo funny.”

“It just makes so many things this week make sense, that’s all” Whitney tried to explain as tears of laughter fell down her face. 

“Like what?” Ashlyn huffed out defensively and crossed her arms.

“You put off our hike twice already this week and now I know why” she giggled. “But I don’t get why you think this is the year you’re all of a sudden going to get a tick up here.”

“Yeah” Sydney added through her own laughter. “I think you took care of the tick karma for all of us for the rest of our lives” she cackled. “You’ll never get another one again after that!”

“How did you help her without dying of laughter?” Molly elbowed Ali sitting in the chair next to her. “I wouldn’t have been able to do it” she wiped tears from her face. “I would have cracked up and she would have gotten pissed at me and kicked me out of the room.”

Niki just rolled her eyes at her wife and took a big swig of beer without saying a word. She knew Molly wasn’t wrong and besides, it was too fun teasing Ashlyn at the moment.

“It wasn’t easy” Ali chuckled, not meeting her wife’s less than playful glare across the table. She knew if she looked at Ashlyn she would feel bad for her and she really wanted to enjoy the fun moment, even though it was at her keeper’s expense. “She woke both Drew and Lily up when she screamed...”

“Oh my God! So you had an audience too?!” Sydney cackled again. “Oh it just keeps getting better.”

“How did you explain...” Whitney started to ask but Ashlyn interrupted her.

“We didn’t explain anything and they didn’t see anything” the keeper let out a frustrated sigh and got up from the table to get another beer from the refrigerator. “And yeah, it wasn’t my finest moment and I wish I had been able to hold it together better. But I don’t think anybody else would have done any better.”

“Come on babe, you were a mess” Ali teased and scooped some salsa with a tortilla chip and popped it into her mouth, her eyes twinkling in the fun.

“So was I more or less of a mess than the time we spent four hours in the emergency room only to find out that you were constipated?” Ashlyn quirked her eyebrow at her wife as she sat down again at the table. 

She felt momentarily bad when she saw Ali flinch and then blush crimson red while she tried to chew the chip in her mouth without choking on it. Ashlyn regretted divulging her wife’s secret the instant the words had left her mouth. 

“What?!!” Molly burst out laughing and slammed her hand down on the tabletop as the rest of the women joined her with more hoots and howls.

“Seriously? When was this?” Whitney asked through a chuckle after a couple of minutes.

“It was a long time ago” Sydney answered with a knowing smile. “She didn’t even tell me until a few years ago when the same thing happened to me” she nodded at her bestie who had dropped her eyes and gone silent.

“What the hell was it?” Niki asked, still amused by the whole series of events that evening. “What are you idiots eating that makes you go to the ER instead of the bathroom?”

“I can’t believe you” Ali levelled her wife with a hard glare as she got up from the table quickly and went to the refrigerator, shaking her head the whole time. 

The whole room got quiet for a minute, wondering if this was going to be one of the rare times when Ali was unable to laugh at herself. The brunette was typically a good sport about being teased, but it was hard to tell what was going to happen next that night. 

“It was when I was getting my MBA...” Ali finally spoke again as she came back to the table, sliding two Hershey’s chocolate bars onto the table that were supposed to be used for s’mores. She sighed as she opened one and broke off a piece, with the slightest hint of a grin at the corners of her mouth. “The summer after Gram died” she couldn’t help but give Ashlyn a soft, half-smile. “I don’t know what the hell I did to myself that week but it was busy and hectic and I remember having really tough deadlines for my courses and...”

“And she wasn’t eating enough or sleeping enough” Ashlyn chimed in. “She was so worried about me still, after losing Gram,...and her whole system was out of whack.”

“I’ll say” Niki raised her eyebrows. “And what about you Syd? What happened to you?”

“Mine was a side-effect from some medicine I was taking at the time. I don’t care how crazy it sounds” she shook her head with wide eyes, “that was so fucking painful, I can’t even tell you.”

“Like, childbirth painful?” Whitney cocked her head but was genuine in her curiosity.

“No, but not too far off” the coach replied.

The whole room knew that if both Ali and Sydney, two of the toughest women among them, had been felled by constipation pain that it must have been pretty fucking awful. They kept exchanging funny stories about painful or embarrassing injuries for another 15 minutes or so and then there was a lull in the conversation as they started to get tired.

“Hey, what ever happened with that secret admirer you had at work?” Sydney perked up, suddenly remembering what she had been trying to ask Ali about for a couple of days.

“What’s this now?” Ashlyn’s head turned sharply to look from Sydney to Ali and back again. The scoop of salsa on the chip she held an inch from her mouth dropped to the table in front of her with a plop. “Who’s got a secret admirer?”

Ali rolled her eyes and giggled at both the silly name Sydney had bestowed upon whomever had been sending her gifts at the Knight-Harris office, as well as the funny, surprised look on her wife’s face.

“Oh geez. You’re sticking with that name huh?” the brunette chuckled at her best friend.

“I am. It’s pretty accurate I’d say” Sydney nodded. “So who was it?”

“I don’t know” Ali shrugged and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Something about the handful of presents that had been sent to her at work was unsettling but she couldn’t put her finger on exactly what it was. “I mean, it’s not like anybody was really trying to figure it out.”

“Some of us have been trying” Whitney laughed. “I’m stumped.”

“Wait, so this is for real?” Ashlyn’s eyebrows went up as she tried getting another chip all the way to her mouth.

“I told you about this.”  
“We talked about this.”

Both Ali and Whitney replied at the same time, making everybody laugh again. Ashlyn chewed as she tried to remember either woman mentioning something about somebody giving Ali gifts. The keeper knew she could get distracted easily but she was sure she would have paid attention to that. Giving Ali Krieger gifts was her job and she took it seriously.

“I’m pretty sure I would have remembered this conversation” she asserted with a frown. “What kind of gifts are we talking about anyway? And how many?”

“Ummm...there was a scarf...” Ali tried to remember.

“What about the bracelet?” Whitney offered helpfully, happy to be talking about the mysterious topic with fresh eyes and ears and minds to help them figure it out. “That came first, right? Well, the letters came first but the bracelet was the first official gift.”

“That’s right. I forgot about that” Ali nodded and bit her bottom lip as she concentrated. She was tired and she had been drinking beer for the last couple of hours. “The bracelet, then the scarf...”

“That scarf was really pretty” Whitney interjected. “And she got a nice birthday card...”

“And then a book of poetry came last week while we were away” the brunette looked at Ashlyn. “I had Marcy open the package in case it was something important.”

“Nothing urgent” Ashlyn laughed with a slightly shocked look on her face. “Just the latest gift from your sidepiece” she shook her head in disbelief but chuckled. “How long has this been going on? Should I be jealous?”

“Ugh, please” Sydney laughed at the idea. “As if Miss Thing here would ever look at another person” she rolled her eyes dramatically. “I swear I think you broke her. She’s not even any fun to people-watch with anymore.”

“What are you, 80 years old?” Niki teased the coach. “When have you or Ali ever people-watched?” she quirked her eyebrow at Sydney. “And scoping out the guys getting gas at the store on the lake doesn’t count” she added and they all laughed some more. 

“Or gals!” Molly added with glee.

“When was it Al, early July you got the first letter?” Whitney’s face was scrunched up as her brain worked hard again.

“Yeah, that sounds right. I don’t know” Ali shrugged and then yawned. “They’ve been sweet. It’s no big deal. Nothing romantic” she made a face at her wife across the table and then giggled. “They might not even be from the same person. Who knows?”

“They’re from the same person” Whitney sat back in her chair and finished her beer in two small swallows, draining the bottle. “It’s all the same blocky style writing.” She turned her attention to the keeper. “Yep, Ashlyn’s got some competition” she chuckled and smiled broadly.

“A scarf, a bracelet and a book of poems sounds pretty romantic to me” Molly added. “Or does romance mean something totally different nowadays? I don’t know. I’ve been married for 14 years. Romance is a real rarity” they all laughed with her.

“Hey, I’m romantic” Niki countered, feigning outrage and playfully defending herself.

“Has it been 14 years already?” Ali asked with a smile, happy to see the subject changing again.

“Yes. It’ll be 15 years this coming February” Molly grinned and accepted the kiss her wife got up and gave her. “And, for the record, Nik is very romantic” she smiled into the next kiss and the group began to whistle and catcall the couple. 

An hour later as they snuggled in bed together, Ashlyn spoke quietly to her beloved wife.

“I’m sorry I spilled your secret. That was really shitty and I regretted it as soon as I said it” she patted Ali’s leg that was thrown across the keeper’s hips as she lay flat on her back with the brunette tucked into her left side.

“Did you just make a shit joke in your apology for telling my super-secret constipation story?” Ali chuckled, her voice low and tired but relaxed.

“Holy shit! Yes!” Ashlyn laughed too loudly and covered her own mouth with her hand. “Oh my God, I just did it again!” she giggled and then squealed as Ali poked her and tickled her as punishment.

“You’re a dork, but you’re my dork and I love you” Ali squeezed her tightly and smiled. “And it’s ok babe. I deserved that one. I shouldn’t have told everybody about your tick. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”

“I suppose” Ashlyn sighed heavily and tilted the brunette’s head up so she could kiss her lips. “I love you too, baby.”

They snuggled again and started to fall asleep after a few minutes without talking. But then Ashlyn’s voice broke the comfortable silence, soft and quiet as she spoke again.

“So should I be worried about your secret admirer? I mean, are you ok with it? Does it bother you or anything?”

Ashlyn knew how Ali loved her privacy and how something like this infringing on it might upset the beautiful brunette.

“No, and no, not really” Ali let her left hand slide slowly up and down her keeper’s arm. “There’s absolutely nothing for you to worry about. Syd’s right on that one” she pressed a kiss into Ashlyn’s shoulder and pulled their bodies closer together, hooking her heel on the blonde’s thigh and tugging her in tighter. “And I think it’s weird and a little creepy that somebody is sending me stuff. But it’s not really any different than when fans send you weird things. I mean, I’m not saying I’m famous like you are or anything...” she giggled shyly.

“You are more famous now though Al. And I don’t just mean because of me and my crazy but loveable fans” she laughed softly. “You’ve been in the spotlight all year long from the Cambridge Award to the BU magazine cover and banquet to the Ellen special and the Newlywed Game fundraiser...”

“Don’t forget my viral ping-pong video” Ali chuckled again and shook her head a little bit, feeling silly about the whole thing.

“Viral video famous too! Of course” Ashlyn grinned. “And you’re right, that’s exactly what it’s like. Somehow it’s less creepy when a whole bunch of people are doing it though. This one-person thing is a little stalkery if you ask me.” They were quiet for another minute. “What did you do with the presents?”

“Well, I put the scarf and bracelet in the lost and found...”

“What? Why?”

“It felt weird keeping them, honestly. And Wendy donates the lost and found bin to the women’s shelter every couple of months so it felt right” Ali paused to yawn. “Somebody will love them both. And I don’t know what I’ll do with the book...”

“Oh please” Ashlyn teased. “Like you could ever not keep a book. One day there’ll be more books in this house than anything else” she chuckled. “There’ll be no room for us at all.”

“Ha ha, very funny” Ali poked her again but it was very light and didn’t really have any effect. “We’ll see what it is. I might keep it, I might not” she shrugged and yawned again.

“What do the letters say? Are they...love letters?”

“No, honey, they’re nothing. Just somebody telling me that they think I did a good job going back and getting my MBA, saying how inspiring it was to see a woman running a successful business while being a mom too, things like that. I promise, nothing at all close to a love letter” she leaned up and kissed Ashlyn’s chin, waiting for her to turn her head and look down. “I don’t care if 100 different people write me love letters Ashlyn, I love you. Only you. Always you.”


	18. End of Summer 2029

“Persey needs another dog.”

“Thanks mom, but she’s got four kids keeping her company here. I think she’s fine” Ali replied with more bite in her voice than she intended.

It was the week after their 4-family vacation and the week before school started up again. It was their one, last week with the kids home and a somewhat relaxed schedule before the whirlwind of school and all the activities that went with it began. Deb and Mike Christopher were going away for a long, Labor Day weekend trip with some friends of theirs down in Miami and were only going to be in New England for another day. Ali had been working long hours to try and get caught up from being out of the office for two straight weeks – something she had never done before since taking over Knight-Harris, and her nerves were frayed. Ashlyn was in the backyard refereeing and coaching an impromptu game of soccer with all four kids after dinner while Deb and Ali cleaned up the kitchen. 

“What’s the matter with you?” Deb hip-checked her daughter as they stood next to each other at the kitchen sink, Ali loading the dishwasher while Deb washed the pots and pans.

“Oh, nothing” Ali sighed. “Sorry mom. I’m just...it’s been a long week.”

“Honey, it’s only Wednesday” Deb chuckled and flicked water from her wet fingers at the side of her daughter’s tense face. 

“Hey!” Ali complained and then giggled, despite her bad mood. “Enough. Let’s not make more clean-up for ourselves, ok?”

“You need to lighten up baby girl. You’re too uptight. This is your last week before the kids go back to school. You should be out there with them” Deb nodded towards the window by the backstairs where they could see Ashlyn running around with the kids and Persey and the soccer ball.

It had been a good summer for Deb with the kids. She was, by far, their favorite go-to person after their moms. The Krieger kids loved all of their grandparents and they spent a lot of time with Ken and Vicki, but Deb was Grandma. Deb was who they wanted when they couldn’t have Mommy or Mama. The drama that Kyle had maybe imagined earlier that summer between Deb and Mike had been mostly in his head. Deb and Mike were fine. Mike was doing better, but was still stubborn about his diet and exercise programs. He followed them pretty well, but not as well as Deb or his daughter Lori would have liked. It could be stressful for Deb and when she needed a break, she took refuge in the big old house and its loud, messy, wild inhabitants that summer. Mike joined her there for part of almost every day, when he wasn’t on the golf course or with his buddies from the club. The kids loved him too but knew his attention was limited. His lap was a favorite for them to curl up into after showertime while they were watching a show before bedtime. Deb had spent many afternoons in the garden with the kids, or at the beach with the kids, or at the park with the kids, or even just in the basement with the kids. Something about being the grandmother and not having a 9-5 job at the same time made it a whole different experience for Deb and she fell more in love with her grandkids and her role in their life all the time.

“Were you ever not tired?” Ali looked at her mother’s face. It was the same as it has always been to the brunette, but housed behind some wrinkles and age spots here and there. The laugh lines and mischievous eyes told the real story of that face. Ali always felt loved and safe when she looked into it. She always had and she was sure she always would. “When we were kids, I mean. When do you stop being exhausted?”

“Ha!” Deb snorted and put her arm around Ali’s waist in a side hug, patting her hip with her wet hand. “By the time you’re not tired anymore you’ll wish they were this age again. I promise you that my girl. I promise you that.”

They held the position for a couple of minutes, both enjoying the hug and the quiet and the closeness and not really wanting it to end. They were interrupted by Ashlyn tapping on the window by the backstairs that looked out onto the backyard.

“Hey, the kids wanna know if we can just hose them off out here tonight instead of doing showers” the keeper asked once Ali lifted the window open.

“Sure, what the hell” Ali chuckled. “Why not?” she gave her mother a quick wink over her shoulder before turning back to Ashlyn in the window. “They want to get baths with the hose like the dog, I’m all for it. I’ll bring the shampoo and stuff down in a bit.”

“Thanks baby!” Ashlyn grinned, her face right up against the window screen, her dimple on full display. The soccer ball sailed her direction and slammed into the house, right next to the window. “Hey!” the keeper scowled and turned to face the kids in the yard. “You’re lucky that didn’t hit the window Dodger. Don’t do that again.”

“Why do you think it was me?” Dodge asked with the most innocent face he could muster.

“Because you’re the only one crazy enough to do it, that’s why” Ashlyn said sternly. “And to think, Mommy and I were going to let you do baths out here with the hose tonight. But now I don’t know...”

A chorus of pleas and apologies and praises filled the backyard as Ashlyn met the kids in the middle of the ‘pitch’ again. Ali closed the window and sighed with a grateful smile on her face. She couldn’t imagine doing this parenting thing with anybody except her wife. Ashlyn was wonderful and Ali knew she was a very lucky parent to have such a steady and strong partner in the fight. And that’s what it felt like much of the time. A battle. Everything could be, and usually was, a struggle when it came to the kids. They listened when they felt like it and did what they were told when the spirit moved them. Sometimes they were wonderful and behaved like literal angels. Other times they drove their mothers absolutely mad. But that was parenting. That’s how it was with all kids and parents. That was life. Even on the bad days Ali was grateful. Sometimes she wasn’t grateful until she put her head on the pillow and took a few deep breaths – but she was grateful nonetheless. She moved back to the dishwasher, only to find that her mother had completed the task for her and was just closing the dishwasher door.

“All done” she smiled at her daughter. 

“Mom, you didn’t have to do that...”

“Will you stop?” Deb chuckled and dried her hands on the dish towel before turning to face Ali again with mischief in her eyes. “Now, about little miss Persey...”

//

On Friday that week, the Friday before Labor Day weekend, Whitney brought Becca and Tommy up to the big old house to spend the day with her best friend. Whitney’s parents were visiting for the long weekend and Kim and Chris Engen made the trip up to Gloucester too. Whitney and Ashlyn were spending the whole damned day at the beach no matter what and anybody who didn’t want to join them didn’t have to. They had been blessed with a beautiful day, the weather still hot and humid as it often was at the end of August in New England. But at Good Harbor beach there was a sweet breeze coming in off the water and it kept the stickiness and the bugs at bay for most of the day. The four adults and four kids hit the beach and, as promised, spent the whole damned day there. By the end of their last week of freedom before school, both Drew and Josie had taken their friends up for different offers of entertainment and weren’t with the beach crew that day. Drew was spending the day with Ethan and the Machados while Josie went with her bestie Kayla and Kayla’s mom into Boston for the day. Four kids at the beach with four adults was so much better and easier than six kids. Dodge and Lily had just turned 6 years old in May and Becca was 4-1/2 years old. Little Tommy, the youngest kid in the 4-family clan, had just turned 2 at the end of June and was easily the biggest handful of them all. He was an outgoing and gregarious toddler with a big personality. And he was also physically big, taking after his father’s side of the family that was full of big, tall men and women.

“This is too good right here” Ashlyn smiled as she watched the Engens playing with all four kids in the wet sand and surf at the edge of the water. The keeper and her bestie were positioned in beach chairs, not too far from the ocean – ready to spring into action if necessary, but far enough away so they could enjoy their spiked lemonade drinks in nondescript thermos bottles and have adult conversation. “This is the life” the keeper nodded approvingly at her current situation.

“Yeah it is” Whitney agreed with a giggle. She had taken the day off of work, and was day drinking on the beach with her best friend while somebody else watched their children. “I could get used to this.”

“Oh no you couldn’t” Ashlyn laughed at her friend and playfully reached over and flicked her thigh. “You’re playing hooky and drinking at 2 o’clock in the afternoon. Part of your brain is twitching right now because it’s freaking out.”

“I’m not playing hooky” Whitney countered and smacked Ashlyn’s arm, making the keeper almost drop the thermos she had been bringing up to her lips. “Ali knows where I am and so does Rita and so does Celeste” the lawyer referenced both her second-in-command of the legal department at Knight-Harris and the office manager for the Engen Foundation, defensively.

“Yeah, but you’re still thinking about it” Ashlyn laughed as she juggled the thermos, righting it just in the nick of time before it spilled its contraband contents. “It’s still eating at you. I know it is.”

“I’d feel better if I had taken an official vacation day, that’s all” Whitney finally sighed, admitting defeat. “I was out all last week and...”

“God, you sound like Ali” Ashlyn rolled her eyes and then focused them on the shoreline. “She’s been killing herself this week, and for what?”

“Umm, to keep the business working so you can pay your bills and feed your children?” Whitney sassed back, all too familiar with the conversation. 

Ashlyn had been telling her friends her whole life to relax more and the irony sometimes was too much to ignore for Whitney. The keeper was one of the most laidback people she had ever known, but she could also become paralyzed by worry from time to time, her slight OCD tendencies pushing their way to the forefront of her mind. Whitney and Ali were more similar to each other than they were to Ashlyn and nobody who knew the three women thought it was a coincidence that the keeper had aligned herself with the two steady women. For Whitney and Ali, they couldn’t help but think maybe Ashlyn’s ‘bad spells’ would be less debilitating if she weren’t quite so laid back all the time. But they were just cut from different cloth than the keeper was and neither of them really wanted to change Ashlyn. They loved her just the way she was, faults and shortcomings and imperfections included – just as she loved them back.

“You guys hire good people, great people!” Ashlyn emphasized before continuing. “I know you trust Rita and Celeste just like I know Ali trusts Marcy with her life...you just have to let them do their thing sometimes. You know?”

Whitney was quiet for a minute, willing herself to take her bestie’s advice and knowing she was right. That was frustrating as hell. She took a big drink of her spiked lemonade while Ashlyn watched her carefully, wondering if she had pushed too hard during their relaxing beach day.

“You’re right, you big jerk” the lawyer finally admitted with a lopsided grin that turned into a dramatic eye roll and chuckle. “Quit staring at me. You heard me right” she laughed.

“There she is” Ashlyn grinned back, genuinely pleased to see her bestie starting to relax for the first time that day. “And it’s only...” she checked her phone for the time, “2:14pm. You’ve only wasted five hours of this glorious day...”

“Shut it Harris” Whitney warned with a look, lowering her face so her eyes glared above her sunglasses for effect. “You scored your point, now don’t ruin it.”

They spent the next hour talking about their spouses and kids and laughing at some of the antics on the beach in front of them. After taking the girls to the restroom up by the snack bar, Ashlyn sat back down in her chair and watched the two blonde girls run towards their brothers and the Engens over by the tidal pool off to the side of the beach. This was the area near the foot bridge the Kriegers used to walk to the beach from the bottom of their street and it was often full of younger kids eagerly exploring the different types of marine life that appeared or disappeared depending on what stage the tide was in. Ashlyn had fond memories herself of spending hours watching little hermit crabs crawling around in the mud there and trying to catch the tiny little fish with her bare hands.

“Jesus, what is the matter with people?” Whitney clucked, shaking her head with a serious frown on her face as she squinted into her phone.

“Everything ok?” Ashlyn gave her full attention, nervously grabbing her own phone to see if Ali had tried to reach her with some emergency for Drew or Josie. It was the panic that every parent felt in those situations. It was the first thing a parent thought of – did something happen to one of my kids? “What’s the matter?”

“Oh, no” Whitney shook her head, hearing the anxiety in her bestie’s voice and looking up to reassure her that everything was ok. “It’s just social media. I can’t believe what some people write on here” she shook her head again as she turned back to her phone. “Have you seen your post from this morning?”

“Ugh, no” Ashlyn settled into her chair and groaned. “Do I need to turn off the comments again? What are they saying? That you and I are having an affair?” she chuckled.

“No, not quite. But damn, who is this person who hates on you so much?”

“Oh is that my good friend who tells me what a piece of shit I am almost every day and then says that Ali deserves better and should leave my sorry white-trash ass?” she winked and took a drink from her thermos. “Do your folks need a break? Should I go over there and help...?”

“How can you just shrug that off like that?” Whitney looked over at her friend, impressed by her inner strength which so many people didn’t give her enough credit for. “And no,” she looked over towards her parents, “they’re fine. They were really looking forward to today with the kids.”

“But Dodge can be a real handful, and with Tommy too...”

“Yeah, ok” the lawyer watched her father doing his best to keep Tommy from throwing fistfuls of mud at everybody within a 10 foot radius. Dodge was encouraging him and acting as a moving target, both boys laughing with every throw whether it hit or missed. “We should go over.”

They got up and walked the 100 feet to the tidal area, talking as they made their way through the other beachgoers.

“Doesn’t that crap bother you Ash?”

“Of course it does. I’m only human” the keeper shrugged. “I try not to read it if I can help it...”

“But you go out of your way to reply back to your fans. You and Kyle Krieger are the best I’ve ever seen at that and I don’t know how you do it.”

“I love my fans, I really do. And I try to connect with them as often as I can. That’s why I hate turning the comments off. But sometimes” she tugged at the back of her neck with her hand and shook her head sadly, “sometimes I just wanna shut the whole fucking thing down, you know?”

“Well, I reported whoever this bitch is” Whitney said seriously, the anger evident in her voice. “Honestly, who fucking does that? Go live your fucking life and quit shitting all over everybody else with your filth. God that makes me mad.”

“Al says she’s trained herself to read down through the names and handles first. Then if she recognizes someone she’ll read the comment” Ashlyn chuckled. 

“I’ve gotta start doing that too then because man, I’m fuming right now” the lawyer huffed out, her face red from anger and outrage. “Has it always been this bad though? I don’t remember it being this bad before.”

“No, you’re right. There’s always been an occasional nasty comment from the homophobes who think I give a shit what they think. But lately it’s been really bad. I don’t think it’s ever been this bad before. And as soon as one gets shut down a new one pops up.”

“It’s the same pathetic asshole just creating a new profile” Whitney gritted her teeth at the cycle that was impossible to break. “Well, they have me to deal with now. I’ll fucking report them every single time. And I’ll get your fans to help, your real fans.”

“A lot of them already do” Ashlyn smiled. “And thank you bestie” she gave Whitney’s shoulder a squeeze as they got to the tidal area.

“Mama! Mama! Watch what Tommy can do!” Lily welcomed them exuberantly to the new little mud-throwing game. “You too Auntie Whit! Come on!”

//

Tuesday, September 4th came no matter how much anybody tried to keep it at bay. Ali and Ashlyn always shared a curious mixture of emotions on the first day of school, as most parents did. They were thrilled to have the kids out of the house and back in a safe, structured environment, but they were simultaneously melancholy about the passage of time. It was the same way every year for the two moms. The kids were 10, 8 and 6 years old with a 17-year old step-sister down in Washington DC to boot. This Fall Drew was entering his final year at East Gloucester Elementary School as a 5th grader. He was as excited as he had ever been to start a school year, mostly because he was now officially a big man on campus. The 5th graders were top dogs at EGE and it was a glorious feeling. This was also the last year that all four kids would be in the same school at the same time. Never again would all four young Kriegers be under the same scholastic roof again. 

Josie started 3rd grade as eagerly as she had every Fall for the past 4 years at the school. The biggest change for the redhead was that she was finally able to start playing an instrument in the school band. She was ecstatic about it and had spent the entire summer trying to decide which instrument it would be. 

“She’s gonna pick the trumpet, just to be like Drew” Ali rolled her eyes as she and Ashlyn finished changing the sheets on their bed one rainy weekend afternoon in June. “I did the same thing when I was her age. I wanted to do every single thing that Kyle did.”

“Maybe” Ashlyn considered as she flung the new fitted sheet open, snapping it out towards her wife on the opposite side of the bed. “I don’t think so though. I don’t think the trumpet is...stylish enough for her” she chuckled.

“What? Stylish?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s cool, don’t get me wrong. Look, I don’t have a poster of Miles Davis’ ‘Kind of Blue’ on the studio wall for nothing” she explained. “It’s definitely cool, but not in Josie’s eyes.”

“What do you mean?” Ali asked as they moved on to the top sheet, spreading it out and getting it evenly distributed across the bed. “She thinks Drew is the coolest kid around.”

“Yeah, Drew is cool, but not the trumpet so much. I don’t know. It’s just a hunch” she shrugged. “I could be totally wrong” she winked at her wife.

“I hope she doesn’t pick trumpet” Ali added as they tucked the sheet in at the foot of the bed with crisp hospital corners. “That’ll be a disaster because she’ll be better at it than him and then where will we be?”

“Oh God, I never thought about that” Ashlyn’s eyes went wide at the thought. 

The whole family knew that Josie had a musical gift. Just like Dodge had an athletic gift and Lily had a gift with animals. Nobody was exactly sure what Drew’s gift was yet, besides video games, but he was working on it. Josie would always excel at anything musical and that was sure to include playing the trumpet better than her brother who had a 2-year head start on her. What would that do to Drew’s anxiety and stomach problems? Neither mother wanted to find out.

“Well, buckle up” Ali sighed heavily as they finished with the blanket and began to pull the comforter up on top of everything else. “We’ve got 2-1/2 months to try and avoid that disaster. Start praying now.”

But Josie, after considering almost every feasible option available over those 10 weeks, had decided to play the flute. Neither mom had seen that coming, but after their daughter explained her reasoning it made perfect sense.

“It’s pretty” the girl shrugged, not taking her eyes off of the drawing she was working on at the nook table the afternoon of the first day of school. Ashlyn stood by, patiently waiting for the explanation to make sense. As if sensing her mother’s confusion, Josie offered more of her rationale without being asked. “It’s silver” her voice went up with some excitement. “And it sparkles.”

The twins entered 1st grade and both felt supremely confident now that they had a year of experience in the school under their belt. Dodge and Lily stayed in the same class again and no-one thought it was anything other than a good idea. Dodge was more excited about playing football for the first time than he had ever been about anything before in his life. He loved soccer, probably more than the other kids combined did, but he almost took it for granted. He had always played soccer and there had always been soccer happening in his home growing up – usually on multiple screens as well as in the backyard and basement. Football was fresh and new and exciting for the ambitious boy. Ali had helped him with his playbook and general football knowledge as much as possible over the month that had passed since he had gone to football summer camp. Dodge never seemed to be paying much attention but he always knew the right answer. Everybody in his orbit thought he was a sweet, goofy, loving, extremely active boy – but they were always surprised at how smart he was. He didn’t try to hide his intelligence but it just never really shone through all of his other antics. You had to sit with him in a semi-quiet moment to understand just how bright he really was.

Lily was continuing to come into her own, getting more confident all the time in public settings – like school. Dodge had enough personality and charisma for four kids so it was sometimes hard for Lily to be seen and heard in his presence. But she stuck up for herself and raised her voice up when she wanted to. She was still the loudest Krieger kid when she wanted to be and her family would vouch for that. Lily was an interesting mix of all of her young siblings. She was shy like Drew and could be stand-offish and serious like Josie. And, if she was feeling it, she could be loud and playful and silly like Dodge. Her transformation from being the fussiest of the kids when she was younger to being the most laid back only a few short years later had been complete. Lily was turning into a mini-Ashlyn in so many ways that it made Ali’s heart pound sometimes. But there was a part of her that was selfish and sneaky and both moms saw it from time to time. Thankfully, that part of her shrank as the more chill part of her personality bloomed. She was only 6 and would certainly change more over the next ten years, whether they wanted her to or not.

All of the kids had their dark sides, as did both of their moms. Drew could be, and often was, mean to his younger siblings. He took their idolatry and rewarded it with cruelty sometimes. Most eldest children could say the same thing. Josie’s temper had never faded and probably never would. If you crossed her there would be hell to pay and nobody could save you from it, not even the moms. Josie would get her revenge even if she had to wait a day for it. Dodge could be a bully in his own way. He was constantly goading his siblings into doing things that they all knew they shouldn’t be doing. If they refused he teased them mercilessly until they finally gave in and did whatever stunt he had arranged – often injuring themselves in the process. Both parents had heard ‘Dodge made me do it’ more times than they could count by the time school started that year. 

And then there was sweet Meg. 17-1/2 year old Meg started her senior year of high school down in Washington DC as the captain and undisputed leader of the highly-touted, undefeated, award-winning girls soccer team. The fact that one of their kids was old enough to be making plans to attend college in 12 months had rocked both Ashlyn and Ali since Meg and Hannah’s visit back in April. It was one of the biggest milestones in their lives and they knew it. It felt like a seismic shift had taken place – this one bigger than many of the others that had come before it. Meg was a very good kid, almost too good. Ashlyn worried that she was hiding some other part of her personality or life from them because she didn’t think they would love her if they knew about it. Both Hannah and Ali assured her that she was letting her imagination get the better of her. Hannah kept a close eye on Meg and knew all of her friends, and her boyfriends – of which there had been only one semi-serious one so far. And Ali was there for her via phone and text when the teenager had questions she didn’t feel like going to Hannah or Ashlyn for. Meg had visited almost all of the colleges she was considering and would hit the last two, both down in the DMV area, that Fall. Her soccer season, which would hopefully extend into early November with playoff runs and state championships, would keep her busy through the Fall. She was planning to get her college applications completed in December and January, when most of the application deadlines for the Fall 2030 semester came around. Nobody was shocked to learn that Boston College was her favorite. Niki Cross had done her quasi-recruiting job very well indeed. Now all Meg had to do was get accepted there.

“Can you believe we’re doing this again?” Ali asked with a sad sigh as she and Ashlyn stood outside the elementary school, EGE, watching the four young Kriegers walk up the steps towards the smiling teachers and the big, open doors. She rested her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder as they shared a side-hug on the curb by the mini-van. “How did a whole year go by so fast?”

“I don’t know, baby. But damn, it still hurts, doesn’t it?” 

“It sure does.”

“Next year Drew will be taking the bus to middle school” Ashlyn shook her head in disbelief. “How the fuck did that happen?”

“Don’t” Ali squeezed her wife’s waist and spoke in a soft voice. “I’m having a hard enough time with this year. Don’t make me think about next year now too.”

//

September rolled on, gathering more steam with each passing day and before they knew it, Mia Hamm’s annual charity golf event was happening during the last week of the month. Ali had wanted to go every year since Mia had invited her in person back in 2025 at The Academy’s first soccer camp. The soccer icon had been needling the brunette every year since then, but September was a tough time for parents to get away, in general. The school year was still brand new and the kids were all getting used to their new teachers and classmates and situations. The brunette had regretfully declined the invitation the previous three years, but this year – Goddammit – she was going and Ashlyn was coming with her. The kids were 10, 8 and 6 and they were old enough to survive for three nights without them. Mia had purposefully scheduled the charity event during the week to avoid any weekend sports conflicts for anybody with kids, or not. She was a mom too and she knew the timing was tough. The golf event itself was on Wednesday and most participants flew down to North Carolina Tuesday afternoon so they could join in the less-formal and more reunion-style dinner and drinks that the numerous UNC attendees had arranged. There was an official charity dinner after the tournament Wednesday evening and that was usually followed by more drinking and some dancing at the country club after dinner. Some golfers had to leave early to fly back to their lives Wednesday night and others stayed and flew home Thursday morning instead. Ashlyn had made the arrangements for this trip and extended it.

“Alright, we’re going then” Ali said as more of a question than a statement as she looked at her father and Vicki in the mudroom of the big old house late Monday afternoon, September 24th.

“Go on then princess” Ken smiled knowingly at his daughter and started to walk her back towards the door, essentially pushing her out of her own house. “They’ll be fine. We know the drill. And if we need help we’ve got Sam’s number and Pam’s number” he referenced Drew’s bestie’s dad and Josie’s bestie’s mom. 

“And Koty and Brianna are only a short drive away too. They’re ready if we need them for a pick-up or a drop-off...”

“Right” Ali nodded, her mind racing. “I added them to the school’s list, right?”

“Yes you did” Ashlyn chuckled from behind her, standing just inside the door waiting patiently after helping the driver load up the car they had hired to take them to the airport. She put her hands on Ali’s hips and pressed a short, soft kiss to the back of her head, then winked at her in-laws. “It’s three nights baby, come on.”

It wasn’t that Ali wasn’t excited to get away for a mini-vacation with the love of her life. She was thrilled about that. It wasn’t even that she was worried about the kids so much. She hated the idea that her father and Vicki might endure some of the bullshit that the kids could pull from time to time. The idea that they would have to deal with one of Lily’s hissyfits, or Josie’s spells of ‘vicious anger’ as the girl had herself dubbed it, bothered the brunette. There just wasn’t time to try and tell them all the missteps to avoid so they didn’t fall into the 7th level of hell every single day with one or the other of the kids.

“We’ll be fine” Ken reached out and patted his daughter’s arm, saying the perfect thing at the perfect moment. “Don’t worry about us. We’re happy to babysit.”

“We’ve been looking forward to this for a long time” Vicki added with her own sincere smile. “Honestly. Just go and have a great time. And stop worrying so much!” she laughed as Ashlyn began to pull Ali backwards out the door.

“Hurry up before the kids come back upstairs and we have to go through all the goodbyes again” Ashlyn urged. “You don’t want that do you?”

That was the last little push she needed. Ali definitely did not want to go through the goodbyes again. No thank you. 

“Alright, let’s go. Thank you guys!” the brunette waved as she and Ashlyn walked briskly to the car. “I love you. Hope you still love us on Thursday!” she laughed as she said it but it was one of her secret fears. 

 

**********

9-25-29

What in the actual fuck is happening right now?? I think Ali and the cheater went away, but I’m not positive. They drove away together in a town car yesterday just before dinner time and they haven’t come back since. I moved over to the treehouse so I could see the back corner area where they eat dinner. That’s always really good to watch. But I didn’t see the car until it drove down the street. I don’t know if there was luggage involved or what. I should have stayed over at the garage across the street – that’s the best view of the driveway. I thought they were done for the night. And Ken and his wife are at the house and took the kids to school this morning. What the fuck?? I HATE not knowing where Ali is. It just...it makes my blood fucking boil. Where the fuck is she??? No posts from Ash last night. No posts from her so far today either. What the hell are they doing leaving in the middle of the fucking week? Nothing makes sense. I’m really starting to get upset now. I’ve gotta calm down. I’ve gotta just breathe now...just breathe...

Fuck. Maybe I should take one of my pills. God, I really don’t wanna do that. No. Just be strong. Just breathe and stay calm. Keep looking for her. Somebody will post something soon. They always do. Maybe she’s with Kyle in New York. Or maybe she went to Florida?? That doesn’t make a lot of sense. Maybe it’s a work trip for Ash and Ali went with her?? I called Krieger-Harris but they just said she wasn’t available the first two times I called. Then when I asked when she’d be back they just offered to take a message. Fucking no help at ALL! 

I’m gonna lose it if I don’t find her soon though. I can’t believe she would just leave like this. She never does this. It’s always easy to keep track of her – she’s either at work or with the kids. Sometimes a girls night out and sometimes a date night with the cheating slut. But this is too much. This is not cool Ali. Not cool at all. I am NOT alright with this.

 

9-26-29

I’m not handling this well. At all. I’m stressed out and I can’t sleep. I didn’t get out of bed today, except to eat and pee. I ate my body weight in crap today too. I’ll probably gain a ton of weight back again. Fuck you Ali. You did this to me. I still can’t believe she would just leave like this. It feels so sudden. And harsh I guess. I didn’t think she was that kind of a person. She didn’t used to be. Maybe being with Ash has changed her more than I thought. I don’t fucking know. I don’t know anything anymore. I thought I knew her, I really did. Everything felt so familiar and safe and good when I was with her...or near her. I spent all day watching videos and interviews of her. I even found a new one – some woman named Jessie who went to BU with Ali. That chick is wild but she had some good pics of my baby. So I guess that’s the good news. It felt a little weird to just stay here in bed. Felt like nothing had ever changed honestly. But I just didn’t have it in me to get up and drive up to Gloucester if she wasn’t gonna be there. I’m so sad...really sad. What even is the point of doing this anyway??? I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. All I know is I love her. And I hate her right now too. Fucking bitch.

 

9-27-29

Fucking FINALLY!!! Mia fucking Hamm’s golf tournament in North Carolina was yesterday. That’s where she’s been. Jesus. I can’t believe how relieved I feel right now. Thank fucking God! Lol. These have been three of the worst days of my whole life. Worse than even the hospital. That’s how bad I’ve been since Tuesday morning. Wow. I think I’m gonna cry I’m so happy right now. Fuck yeah! And, aside from being happy to see a pic of my baby now, finally after almost three full days without seeing her at all, I’m proud of myself for not taking any pills. I was tempted. My head hurt so bad and everything inside was all jumbled up... But I stayed strong. So there. I can do this on my own, no drugs necessary. I knew I could. Well, I hoped I could. The only bad thing is I can’t tell Janice or Edward about it without telling them everything else I’ve been up to. They won’t like that so I’ll just keep this as my little secret too. Too bad. I’d love to tell somebody how strong I was this week. Maybe I’ll write to Ali about it. She’d understand. She’s always been tough and I know she’d be impressed. She looks so good in that pic too. I didn’t even know she golfed. What can’t she do?! Lol. My baby golfer. Her smile is the brightest thing in that whole damn pic. Always. God I love her.


	19. Chapel Hill & the Temple of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than usual. It got away from me but I didn't want to break it up into two chapters. Sorry.  
> Smut Warning

The NC trip was incredible and both Ali and Ashlyn swore they were going to make time for it every year thereafter. Ashlyn had called Whitney multiple times to rub it in her face that she and Ryan had decided against the trip this year. Aside from raising money for two very worthwhile causes – helping families in need of a marrow or blood cord transplant, and also developing opportunities for young women in sports – it was tremendously fun for everybody involved. While it was a quasi-UNC reunion, there were plenty of other people there in spite of all the Tarheels. Mia and her husband, baseball great Nomar Garciaparra, had each made hundreds of good friends over the years during and after their professional athletic careers had ended. There were participants there from all walks of life, but mostly former athletes and the people involved in professional sports in some capacity. 

Ali had gotten over her fangirling reaction to meeting megastars years ago because her work at Knight-Harris often put her in direct contact with those exact same megastars, often before they became their superstar selves. Her own childhood heroes, like Mia Hamm, still gave her pause when she first met them. She was only human after all. This time it was Ashlyn who fangirled hard when she met someone who had been viewed as an absolute god on the UNC campus when she had attended. Michael Jordan, 66 years old and still swinging the golf club like a pro, was a big draw for the tournament. The singularly talented basketball superstar could have gone pro as a baseball player or golfer when he was younger, but chose the NBA and broke all sorts of records as a Chicago Bull. He didn’t attend Mia’s golf tournament every year but he had joined her several times over the years, and it was always big news in the area whenever he did.

“You ok there All-star?” Ali giggled as she kissed her wife on the cheek, right on that beautiful dimple of hers. “You look a little starstruck. You might want to close your mouth before the flies get in there” she teased gently and ran her finger down Ashlyn’s jawline to her chin, tapping underneath it.

“I just talked to the greatest human being ever to play the game of basketball...” the keeper whispered, eyes still wide and smile still gigantic. “Holy fucking shit.”

“I’d say ‘talked to’ is a reach babe” Ali chuckled as she stood next to her keeper and surveyed the room. It was Tuesday evening and the informal dinner was just getting underway after the cocktail hour had concluded. “You did some staring and some nodding and maybe some grunting...” she teased some more. “Oh, yeah and drooling too” she giggled and kissed the corner of Ashlyn’s mouth to finish the joke.

“Ha ha ha, very funny” Ashlyn finally found her tongue and turned her attention to the beautiful brunette by her side. “I just can’t believe it. All these years. All the million UNC events that I’ve gone to. I’ve never once met Michael Jordan before. I thought the universe was against it or something” she chuckled as she finished her whiskey drink. “Our schedules just never lined up, not once” she shook her head, still in disbelief. “And he’s not even supposed to be here tonight!” her eyebrows went up high and she looked like a kid on Christmas morning – absolutely ebullient.

“See, we should always come to Mia’s golf tournament” Ali offered with a wink and a smile. “Good things happen.”

It was three days of good things, really. They landed Monday evening and went out to a late dinner with Heather O’Reilly and her husband Dave, where both visitors drank too much. Instead of going back to the hotel and enjoying sexy times as they had planned, Ashlyn and Ali passed out and slept like the exhausted parents of young children that they were. They slept in until 8am Tuesday morning, a true luxury, and then had to rush through showers to get to their separate morning appointments on time.

“Whose idea was it to meet with UNC seniors this morning?” Ali groaned as she hurried to finish getting her make-up on.

“Ugh, I know” Ashlyn matched her wife’s groan as she finished re-packing her smaller, travel-sized messenger bag. “Technically it was Whit...”

“Oh, so you took credit for the good idea until right now?” Ali gave her keeper a playful smirk.

“Well, yeah” Ashlyn smiled sweetly. “But now I’d much rather be spending our morning together in that bed right there” she nodded and winked. “I can’t believe we’ve been away from the kids for...15 hours and haven’t had sex yet.”

“Whose terrible idea was it to meet UNC seniors this morning again?...” Ali rolled her eyes as she grabbed her purse and moved towards the door where Ashlyn was waiting for her.

“Hey, I thought it was a good idea?”

Ali leaned into her wife and gave her a meaningful kiss as their bodies melted together. Just as Ashlyn tried to deepen the kiss, the brunette pulled back with her eyes closed and sighed. She let her hands trail down from the back of Ashlyn’s neck to her breasts where she gave a soft squeeze, making the keeper moan. Ali opened her eyes and used her tongue to trace across her wife’s waiting lips before pulling back again. Her voice was breathless when she spoke.

“Nope. Absolutely terrible” she patted Ashlyn’s hip and put her hand on the door handle, shooting her a look just before pulling the door open. “And you’ll pay for it too.”

The plan was for them each to go to a different location on Campus to talk with the seniors about going pro in the NWSL, and then meet for lunch afterwards. All six seniors were sure to be drafted by one of the NWSL teams the following January and Ashlyn wanted to make sure they signed with Knight-Harris when it was time to take that step. It was just after 11:30am and Ali was walking at a good clip towards the small park, ‘The Old Well’, at the Northern end of the UNC campus. The park got its name from the historic well that centered it and there were graceful white stone benches spread around the beautiful area. It was one of the busiest, most-popular places on campus and was often the site of graduation photos, marriage proposals and other grand gestures among alumna and regular citizens alike. None of the busyness of the historic site deterred Ashlyn from choosing it as a meeting place every time she and her wife visited the campus.

Ali approached the park from the South and scanned the area for her love. It didn’t take too long for her to spot the shock of blonde hair on top of her wife’s head. She smiled as she crossed East Cameron Ave and watched Ashlyn bending over with her phone to her face, taking a picture of the beautiful pink flowers that were blooming just to the side of the popular well area. The keeper wore her current-favorite, tan-colored, lightweight pants that were stylishly rolled at the ankle so you could get a good look at her carefully-chosen, white Vans on her feet. Her bare ankles caught Ali’s eye for a fleeting second but she forced her eyes to keep moving up. Ashlyn’s shirt was a short-sleeved button-up that fit her nicely and fell, untucked, just at her waistline. The brunette would have preferred her in one of her tank tops with an open button-up shirt flapping in the breeze, but Ashlyn looked gorgeous in the light and dark blue checkered shirt that was buttoned up to the top. She wore her usual rings and a simple silver pendant around her neck that fell to mid-torso, just below her breasts. Her ever-present diamond stud earrings were in place as was her heavy watch and a few different bracelets on each wrist. Her arms looked toned and her tattoos were sexy as hell as they stuck out from underneath the short sleeves. She looked dressy but casual and Ali knew she had chosen the outfit because of the meetings they had both just completed for Knight-Harris.

As she admired her girl and enjoyed the sexy thoughts that flashed through her brain at the sight of Ashlyn’s exposed skin where her shirt had lifted up near her waistband, Ali formulated a new plan for their afternoon. Instead of enjoying a leisurely lunch and some more catching up with old friends in Chapel Hill, the brunette was going to venture outside of her comfort zone and try something a little different. Their Tuesday morning and evening were both booked with the senior appointments, and then the unofficial welcoming dinner for the golf tournament where Ashlyn would finally meet Michael Jordan for the very first time. But the afternoon? The afternoon was theirs and Ali was not going to be spending it chatting with a bunch of Tarheels. Not if she had her way about it anyway.

“Oh my! I’m terribly sorry” Ali exclaimed in her best southern drawl as she purposefully bumped into Ashlyn’s ass as she was still bent over taking another close-up of the flowers. The force of the contact knocked Ashlyn off-balance and almost made her fall to the ground. Ali reached for her hip to steady her, just in time. “Oh my goodness! Are you alright honey? I can’t believe what a klutz I am” she hammed it up, fighting off her shyness and some embarrassment at her attempted acting.

“Hey! What the...?” Ashlyn sputtered as she flailed her arms to try and regain her balance without dropping her phone. “Al?” she squinted at her wife in confusion as she turned to face the stranger with the southern accent who almost knocked her on her butt. “What are you doing?”

“I’m so sorry” she tried again, swallowing shy nerves and taking another stab at her little game. “Did I hurt you? I guess I didn’t see you there” she shrugged and smiled sheepishly but gave Ashlyn a flirtatious wink at the very end.

The keeper frowned and sighed in frustration. She was hungry and Ali was 10 minutes late and she just wanted to get to their favorite Chapel Hill lunch place without any further delay or injury.

“Why are you talking like that?” she shook her head dismissively. “You sound like Carol.”

Ali took the bruise to her ego and froze for a second, unsure what to do next. Doing an imitation of Carol Lanier, Ashlyn’s step-mother, was the last thing on Ali’s mind. No parents or kids or any other family members were welcome for what she had planned. Should she continue her little role-play game or give up and just laugh it off and try not to let her hurt feelings show? She could feel her keeper’s hangry vibe and hoped that was all it was – just food hunger that was making her so pissy. Ali took a breath and tried one last time.

“Oh sugar, I’m so lost” she tried to keep even her laughter sounding like a southern belle as she placed her hand on Ashlyn’s upper arm and gave it a flirty squeeze. She batted her eyelashes and winked again at her wife. “There are so many buildings on this campus and they all look the same to me, I’m sorry to say. I’m not from around here, are you?”

If that didn’t do it, nothing would. Ali held her breath as she watched Ashlyn’s face change three different times in the span of 10 seconds as she tried to process what was going on. Ali was about to give up for good and she let her hand drop off of the blonde’s arm, but Ashlyn caught it and held it in her own with a dimpled grin on her face.

“Oh, I’m the one who should be sorry. I was trying to get a close-up of this flower here” the keeper nodded over her shoulder, “for my daugh...” she cleared her throat, understanding that Lily was not who Ali wanted either of them to be thinking about in that moment. “I didn’t mean to trip you up” she recovered smoothly, still holding Ali’s hand lightly in her own. “Are you sure you’re ok?” 

“Well aren’t you sweet?” Ali smiled brightly, relieved and excited that Ashlyn had caught on. “I’m fine, just fine. Maybe better than fine. Just hopelessly lost is all. I’m looking for the old well and I thought I was headed in the right direction...”

“You are definitely headed in the right direction” Ashlyn chuckled softly and turned so they were both looking at the Old Well about 100 feet away. It was surrounded by 10 or 12 people sightseeing and taking photos in front of it. “That’s it right over there. You’re not lost at all” she winked.

“Oh how embarrassing” Ali giggled, still using the accent, and covered her face with her free hand. “I’m so hopeless.”

“Hopelessly beautiful maybe” Ashlyn flirted and lifted Ali’s hand to her lips for a quick kiss. 

The brunette had her shoulder-length hair in a low-bun at the back of her neck and her medium-sized silver hoop earrings danced in the bright mid-day sun. Ali wore a pretty, sleeveless, floral-print blouse that was colorful but not too overwhelming. There were pink and fuschia flowers of different sizes on a dark background that made her arms look even more tan than they really were. She wore her rings and a smaller watch with only one other bracelet right next to it. Her blouse had a high neckline so she decided not to wear a necklace with it – it would only make the back of her neck aggravated in the heat anyway. The pale pink A-line wrap skirt she wore hit just above her knees and was lightweight enough so she could wear it in North Carolina in September and not die from heatstroke, but still nice enough so she didn’t look like she had just rolled out of bed. Ashlyn let her eyes travel down the bare, tanned legs until she got to the dressy but comfortable sandals on her favorite feet in the world. She felt her heart thump and swallowed hard.

The keeper’s words were cheesy but Ali would never tire of hearing them. Ashlyn had always been able to make even the silliest, sappiest things sound heartfelt and sincere. Ali’s heart melted every time while other parts of her body responded in their own familiar way.

“Aren’t you the charmer?” she laughed and her nose crinkled. “But that well looks like a glorified water fountain. What am I missing?”

“You don’t know the story of the Old Well?” Ashlyn looked shocked but couldn’t keep the smile off of her face.

“It has a whole story? Just for a water fountain?” Ali needled her, knowing the Old Well was practically sacred to Tarheels. “Can you tell it to me?”

“I’ll tell you the story if you tell me your name, beautiful lost lady” Ashlyn’s dimple was back as she grinned from ear to ear.

“Where are my manners?” Ali extended her right hand, her free hand, “I’m Ali and I’m a new student here and I can’t seem to make heads or tails of this campus” she shook her head. 

“It’s very nice to meet you Ali” Ashlyn shook her hand and lifted it up to kiss it as she had done the other one earlier. She didn’t let either hand go when she was done kissing the newest one. “My name is Ashlyn, Ashlyn Harris, and I’d be honored if you’d let me show you around campus.”

“Are you a student here too?”

“Oh, ummm...” she shrugged, unable to come up with anything better than what the truth had been. “Yes, I am. I’m on the soccer team and I know where all the best places to hang out are.” She cringed as she heard the words of a 16-year old leave her lips. She suddenly felt nervous, as if part of her 16-year old self had come back to visit her psyche in that moment. “Ummm...like the Old Well” she let go of one of Ali’s hands so she could point at the well and stand next to the brunette again. She rattled off the facts that every Tarheel learned their freshman year at UNC, hoping to regain her composure in Ali’s little game. “It used to be the only source of water for the university and it used to be a real, actual well. Then in 1897 they turned it into this drinking fountain” she nodded at the dark marble water fountain surrounded by eight neoclassical columns in a small rotunda with a domed roof covered in copper that had turned greenish-grey over the years.

Ali focused on the old well and let her free hand rest on Ashlyn’s bicep as they continued to hold hands and walk closer to the historic heartbeat of the university. She had heard the story of the old well a dozen times over the years and she loved everything about it. But something about the freshness of their game made Ashlyn’s words sound brand new. 

“This rotunda and this whole area is modeled after the Temple of Love in the Gardens of Versailles over in France” the keeper continued, enjoying the game more and more. “It was designed by Eugene Lewis Harris...”

“Oh, any relation?” Ali quirked an eyebrow at the ‘Harris’ name, trying to remember if Ashlyn had used her last name when she introduced herself a few moments earlier.

“No, none that I’ve been able to trace anyway” she smiled warmly at the brunette who was looking up at her with a mixture of amusement and excitement in her eyes. “Why? Would that impress you more?”

“Maybe” she replied coyly and batted her eyes at the blonde.

“Well, in that case, yes – great, great, uncle Eugene was a heckuva guy” Ashlyn teased and grinned. “He was the registrar here for the last 7 years of his life, but he was also an artist and, of course, a graduate and fellow Tarheel.”

“Very impressive” Ali squeezed the keeper’s bicep and let the back of her fingers just graze the side of her breast. She bit her bottom lip when she felt Ashlyn’s body tense at the touch.

“Yeah, um...right” Ashlyn cleared her throat, distracted by the nearness of the brunette. “Um...Tarheel tradition says that if you drink from the well on the first day of classes you’ll have good luck all semester. Some people say it means you’ll get all A’s but I can personally say that is not true.”

“Really? You’re not just pulling my leg now, are you?”

“No, I would never pull the leg of such a beautiful young lady” she smirked and didn’t finish the dirty thought that had entered her mind just then. “It’s a national historic landmark too. You can read all of this on that plaque over there if you don’t believe me...” Ashlyn pointed to a large sign that had protective plastic over it to keep vandals from rival teams away from it.

“Oh no, I like the personal tour guide version much much better” Ali gave the blonde’s arm another squeeze as the words left her mouth with the southern accent still in tact. It was getting easier to stay in character all the time. “Unless...you don’t want to be my personal tour guide” she drawled, letting her free hand trail down Ashlyn’s arm and then back up again with just the faintest of touches.

“I have a really great feeling about this afternoon” Ashlyn smirked as she felt the goosebumps erupt on her arm. “I’d love to show you around campus, if you’ll let me?”

“I can’t think of anything I’d like better, honey” Ali smiled up at her keeper. “But you must be starving, look at the time. I’ll let you show me all your secret places if you let me buy you lunch first. Deal?”

“Yes ma’am, you just follow me and I’ll take you to the café with the best sandwiches you’ll ever taste in your entire life” Ashlyn winked as they started to walk past the old well, continuing North towards the plentitude of restaurants, bars and cafes a few blocks away on Franklin St.

“Don’t you think we should get a picture first? Since we’re here and all?” the brunette tugged Ashlyn to a halt with a sweet smile and a playful tilt of her head. “I mean, who knows if we’ll ever see each other again after this? We should get a picture to mark the occasion.”

“And what occasion is that?” Ashlyn returned the smile and tried hard not to let it turn into a smirk as she thought about the fun they were going to have at some point, she hoped, that afternoon.

“What if fate brought us together here today? And what if, because I was a clumsy fool and almost knocked you over, we got to meet each other when we might not have otherwise?” Ali paused for a second. “What if we were meant to meet today? By the universe I mean, or some greater power? I think that’s something to commemorate with a picture, don’t you?”

“I definitely do” Ashlyn nodded and got her phone out, stretching her long arm away from them so she could snap the picture with the Old Well behind them. “It’s not every day I get to meet my own Venus here at the Temple of Love” she grinned as she faced the camera and felt Ali tuck into her side, wrapping her arms around her waist and turning her head to face the camera too. “Most beautiful goddess in the whole world” Ashlyn whispered and closed her eyes reflexively when she felt Ali’s lips on her cheek as the click of her camera sounded.

The married couple had been pining for each other all day, both a bit disappointed that they had spent their first night away from home sleeping instead of fucking. But both women knew that the anticipation only made the payoff that much better in the end. They went to Ashlyn’s favorite sandwich shop and had a nice lunch, staying in character the entire time. Ali asked the keeper lots of general questions about UNC and the soccer team and the campus, and Ashlyn took her time and flirtatiously answered every question. It had taken her a few minutes at the beginning of their game to adjust to Ali’s Southern accent but now she was loving it. She loved when the brunette spoke German and didn’t think anything could come close to how excited that made her. The southern accent couldn’t really hold a candle to the German, what could?, but it still got Ashlyn worked up. 

After lunch they strolled around campus, their arms brushing against each other as they walked close together, enjoying the contact and the electricity that was always present between them. That afternoon it was still at a low level but they both knew it would take just a moment, just a single meaningful touch or phrase, to ramp it up and send it soaring. They weren’t pushed for time, but it was almost 1:30pm and they had to be at the unofficial welcoming dinner at 6pm. As much fun as the charming tour was for both of them, they knew they’d have a hell of a lot more fun back in their hotel room. The last thing they wanted was to have to rush through their long-awaited, much-anticipated sexy time.

“I could walk around Chapel Hill all day long with you” Ashlyn grinned at the brunette next to her, reaching for her hand and pulling them to a stop. She had a look of adorable excitement on her face as she spoke hopefully to the stranger with the accent. “But there’s something I really want to show you. Will you come with me?”

“This has been a wonderful afternoon. You’re the best tour guide a girl could ever ask for” Ali blinked sweetly back at her. She studied the look on Ashlyn’s face and tried to figure out what she had up her sleeve. She really wanted to get to the hotel and wasn’t sure if her keeper was taking the game too much to heart and about to take her on a wild goose chase to some obscure place that only legitimate Tarheels would appreciate. “I’m not sure...” she demurred, hoping for some indication from her wife.

“My car’s right over there” she pointed to the lot where they parked the rental car that morning as if Ali hadn’t been there in the first place. It made the brunette smile broadly even though she tried to hide it and keep her new student persona in place. “It’s not far, just on the other side of the golf course...”

There was the hint she needed. That was Ashlyn’s way of telling her they were headed to the hotel and Ali felt her stomach flip flop as she let her mind think about what was going to happen there that afternoon.

“Alright” she grinned and shook her head slightly as she allowed the keeper to lead her to the parking lot, still holding hands as they walked along. “My Mama always warned me about getting into cars with strangers though...” she hesitated for just a few seconds as Ashlyn held the passenger side door open for her, ready to help her inside. “You’re not gonna abduct me now, are you?” she quirked her eyebrow at the blonde who bent over and made sure Ali was seated comfortably before bringing her hand up to her lips for another kiss.

“I would never” she replied solemnly as she closed the car door and trotted around and got into the driver’s seat. When her own door was closed behind her and the engine was running with the air-conditioning cooling down the stifling hot interior, she added mischievously, “unless you wanted me to.” 

Ali felt her face flush at the sound of her lover’s deeper than usual voice as they pulled out of the parking lot to start the short drive. She didn’t know what to say and felt like she might be losing the willpower to keep up the ruse for much longer. Instead, she tentatively reached for Ashlyn’s closest hand, the one on the manual gear shift between the two bucket front seats. As they typically did when they travelled, Ashlyn had arranged a fun Suburu sports car to drive. Sometimes they rented a Jeep but more often than not they used a fancy Suburu. They almost always opted for manual transmission though, just because they never got the chance to drive one at home and both still found it fun to do. The brunette ran her fingers up the back of Ashlyn’s hand and continued up her bare forearm, applying a ghostlike touch to the woman with the handful of flowers blossoming from the top of her skull, that made the keeper shiver.

“I’m not exactly sure why” she began softly, watching the side of Ashlyn’s face react to her fingers, “we’ve only known each other for a couple of hours, but I trust you Ashlyn” she paused and let the weighty words sink in. “I know you’ll take care of me, and I’d like to see whatever it is that you want to show me.”

The easy banter that they had enjoyed since meeting at the Old Well two hours earlier, foreign as it had sometimes sounded, stopped altogether after Ali’s seductive statement and enticing touches. For the first time in a very long time, Ashlyn regretted the manual gear shift that kept her right hand busy for the whole drive, brief though it was. She did her best to focus on the road and not get into an accident or get pulled over by campus police as she navigated her way through the busy streets. Neither of them said anything else for the remaining 10-minute drive. They were both lost in their thoughts and enjoying the simmering sexual tension that was heating up by the minute between them. That anticipation felt familiar and exciting at the same time. They each thought about other times they had enjoyed moments like these together – knowing something earth-shattering and amazing was coming soon but not wanting to rush through the build-up to get there too quickly either. Ali wished she had thought to pack the ben wa balls because they would have been absolutely perfect for her little game that afternoon. For a brief second she considered asking Ashlyn to drive them someplace to buy some but nixed the idea because they had already missed the ideal time to use them that afternoon. They were meant for foreplay, at least the way Ali and Ashlyn enjoyed them anyway. They amplified whatever longing and aching was already going on in their bodies as they looked forward to having sex together in a few hours’ time. That ship had sailed.

Ashlyn thought about the time they walked arm in arm from the restaurant in Rockport where they had just enjoyed a romantic dinner by the ocean before going back to the big old house to use the strap-on for the very first time together. Talk about anticipation! They both knew what was going to happen that night but they took their time and enjoyed dinner, even indulging in a shared dessert so they could watch the end of the sunset over the harbor that evening. The walk back to Ashlyn’s Jeep had been a mixture of nervous energy, and languidness, and pure lust. Before the keeper had a chance to relish in that particular memory, another one popped into her head. She was brought back to the weekend they had spent in Provincetown for Sydney’s bachelorette party. The walk back to the rented beach house from the adult toy store had been one of the most painfully exquisite 20 minutes of their lives. Ashlyn squirmed in her seat as she remembered the rushed and hushed but incredible sex they had enjoyed as soon as they finally reached their bedroom in the rental house that afternoon 13 years ago. All the grief they took from their weekend housemates for it had been worth it. Neither one of them could have survived another ten minutes without having each other after that shopping trip and walk home. Even normally uptight Ali, especially back in 2016, had willingly joked with everybody about it later that evening. 

But even in more recent years, when they were both in their 40s with young children and their busy schedules dictating most of their daily lives, Ali and Ashlyn still surprised each other by how aware of the other they were, even in a room full of friends, family, or schoolchildren. They were experts at sharing small looks across crowded rooms and discreetly brushing up against each other as they made sure their guests and children had everything they needed for whatever milestone they were celebrating. Animal attraction, or sheer magnetism, or whatever you wanted to call it – Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris had always had it and it certainly hadn’t diminished over time. If anything, it had gotten stronger over the years. Their sex lives had changed for many reasons – primarily the lack of enough hours in the day to do everything their family and jobs required of them. But they both still loved having sex with one another. It was always at or near the top of their list of priorities, even when they were at their busiest with kid stuff, work stuff, family stuff, friend stuff, etc. They always made time for sex. Sometimes planning for it brought about this whole anticipation concept for them too. That wasn’t why they did it, but they both recognized that when they had a sexy times date to look forward to, they did a lot of looking forward and remembering and fantasizing and longing. 

This whole extended trip could have easily devolved into one big fuck-fest, only broken up by the golf tournament on Wednesday itself and the two dinners they had agreed to attend. Neither woman would have objected too much if that had happened. But they were there for business too and neither of them was willing to just let that fall by the wayside. Part of the reason Ashlyn had made arrangements for them to fly to NC Monday evening was so they would have a whole night and day to themselves once they got there. They had squandered their Monday night – although one might argue that getting some much-needed rest would only make the sexcapades to follow that much better. They were both ready to make sure their Tuesday afternoon was a fucking success.

Ashlyn parked the car and as soon as both hands were free she turned sideways to face the brunette. She cupped Ali’s face with her left hand, gently letting her thumb graze her cheekbone and smiling when Ali closed her eyes and smiled into the contact. The keeper used her other hand to hold Ali’s and then leaned forward and gave her lips a soft, searching, tentative kiss. It was light and simple but still charged with desire and excitement.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since the first moment I saw you” she breathed out and leaned back into her seat as a grin filled her beaming face.

“Me too” Ali ducked her head just a bit and looked up at the blonde through her lashes, blinking shyly. “Can we do that again?”

Ashlyn leaned forward and gave her another kiss, this one not as soft but still filled with tenderness. She felt Ali’s lips curl into a smile while their lips were still together and pulled back slowly.

“What?”

“I’ve never been on a tour quite like this one” Ali chuckled and let her free hand travel up the keeper’s arm again, finding the inside of her bicep and letting her fingers brush up against her breast again. It had always been one of Ali’s favorite ways of touching her wife, especially in public because nobody could tell she was doing anything more than innocently holding Ashlyn’s arm. “So...what did you want to show me, sugar?”

Ashlyn took a deep breath and steadied herself when she felt the backs of Ali’s fingers again. Every time the brunette did that the sensation flew through Ashlyn’s breast and then shot out through the rest of her body like a spark of electricity.

“Come on” the keeper’s dimpled grin flashed quickly before she hopped out of the car and quickly moved to open Ali’s door for her. “My lady” she offered her arm to the brunette and they both giggled as they made their way, holding hands, into the hotel. “You wait here for a minute while I get us a room.”

“A room?” Ali stopped abruptly and feigned offense. “What kind of girl do you think I am?” she huffed as Ashlyn’s face fell. Ali was touched at how far her keeper was going to keep up the charade, and if they were still going to pretend then she was going to play along too. “I think you’d better explain yourself.”

“Whoa, ummm...” Ashlyn’s mind spun as she tried to talk her way up to their room and into the sexy girl’s skirt. It had been so fucking long since she had tried to pick up a girl she wasn’t sure she even remembered how it was done. “What I want to show you...needs some privacy, that’s all” she shrugged innocently, not letting go of Ali’s hand. “I don’t expect anything from you Ali. You’re a smart, beautiful woman and I’m lucky to be standing here with you” she held her gaze earnestly and spoke from her heart. “If you want to end our time together right here, right now, that’s what we’ll do. I’ll drive you right back to campus and you can get on with your life. But if you think fate brought us together today, like I do...” she paused as her emotions got in the way for a few seconds. “I found you, my Venus, at the temple of love when all I was trying to do was take a picture of a pretty flower and nothing you say or do can talk me out of that belief. But if you want me to take you back...”

“No” Ali bit her lower lip and squeezed Ashlyn’s hand, moved by her heartfelt words even though they were shrouded in their little game. “I’ll wait right here for you. Hurry up” she blushed a little as she dropped her eyes and released the blonde’s hand.

To Ali’s surprise, Ashlyn spent a few minutes talking with the concierge at the hotel front desk before returning to her with a wink and a smile.

“Ready?” she stuck her arm out and Ali looped hers through it as they made their way into the elevator and up to the room they had left almost 6 hours earlier.

Ali stood hesitantly just inside the door while Ashlyn took her purse from her and quickly tidied up the space. Housekeeping had already been there so she just tossed some clothes towards their suitcase before turning to face the brunette with a shy smile.

“Come on in” she said softly, gesturing towards the bed as she pulled the one chair in the room closer to the bed and sat down in it with a hopeful look on her face.

There was an awkward pause after Ali sat at the foot of the bed with her hands in her lap.

“So, what did you want to show me?”

“Oh! God, I almost forgot” Ashlyn chuckled as she got up and pulled her sketchbook out of her larger messenger bag in the corner of the room. “Um, let’s see...” she mumbled to herself as she thumbed through pages, sitting next to the brunette at the foot of the bed. Ali watched her curiously, wondering how the keeper was going to tie this into their alternate reality. “Here it is” Ashlyn smiled and scooted a little closer, holding the large sketchbook open across Ali’s lap. “Does this look like anybody you know?” she grinned at the sketch she had finished just two days earlier. It was one of her favorites, ever.

In the sketch Ali was naked and shown from the waist up, drawn from the perspective of someone lying on their back beneath the beautiful brunette. It was done with charcoal and had all of the little details of her body drawn perfectly from Ashlyn’s favorite freckle on her neck down to the German letters visible at her side. Ali’s right hand was down near her side and out of sight but her left hand was up at her chest, fingers tugging on her nipple as her face registered a look of absolute ecstasy. Her head wasn’t thrown all the way back yet, but Ashlyn knew from experience that it would have been the next shot in the next frame. Ali’s mouth was half-open and her eyes were half-closed with her hair in a sloppy, loose pony tail that was barely managing to hold her hair off of her face at all.

“But...” Ali stammered, unsure what to do or say as she took in the beautiful sketch. Even on her more modest days she could still admire her wife’s talent when she viewed one of the sketches of herself. The brunette hadn’t seen this sketch before and she had to admit it was gorgeous. And sexy as hell. “How...?”

They locked eyes for a moment, sharing unspoken love and desire through dark eyes and slightly quivering lips. Ashlyn spoke, her voice emotional and low. The husk in it matched the darkness in her eyes as she tried to be patient and not rip Ali’s clothes off right that second. 

“This is the woman of my dreams” she nodded down at the sketch without taking her eyes off of the beautiful chocolate ones staring back at her. “I dream about her every night and I never thought it was possible for her to be real before...today.” She paused, still struggling to stay in control of herself. It had been a mistake to sit so close to Ali and expect to be able to keep her hands off of her. “I’m so glad you got lost, and almost knocked me on my ass” she chuckled but it turned into more of a smirk. “There’s absolutely no place else in the whole world that I’d rather be than right here with you, right now...”

Ali didn’t let her finish. She dropped the sketch book quickly, and as carefully as she could, onto the floor and then jumped onto Ashlyn’s lap, smashing their lips together in a hungry kiss. She hiked her skirt up around her hips so she could straddle the blonde but never stopped the sloppy, aggressive kiss. She moaned when she felt Ashlyn’s hands move to her ass, only her panties separating their skin. Ali tried hard to get words to leave her mouth but she just couldn’t manage it. She panted and groaned as they made out desperately, each woman eagerly participating in the frenzied duel between their tongues. The brunette worked her fingers quickly up Ashlyn’s shirt, unbuttoning it as fast as she could while they kissed. She didn’t know if they were still playing their game or not and she didn’t fucking care anymore. All she cared about was her keeper. She wanted her so badly that she was having a hard time focusing on any one part of her. The shirt. The shirt. Just get her fucking shirt off. 

“Fuck...” she moaned when they finally broke for air and Ashlyn leaned back to finish removing her own shirt, pulling her sports bra up and over her head at the same time. “Yesssss...” Ali’s eyes lit up when she saw the blonde’s exposed skin, and her pretty pink nipples.

“You too” Ashlyn tugged up on Ali’s blouse when the brunette appeared too dazed to handle it herself.

Ali reached behind her own neck and undid the blouse so her keeper could lift it up over her head. She unhooked her bar and let Ashlyn pull that off too, gasping when the blonde immediately took one of her dark nipples into her hot mouth.

“Mmmmm...Jesus I love these beauties” Ashlyn groaned as she pressed her face even harder into Ali’s chest, making sure she sucked and licked both breasts, working the nipples into hard pebbles after a few minutes’ attention.

“Oh fuck yeah, babe” Ali moaned with her head back and her eyes closed. 

She realized she was already grinding against Ashlyn’s lap and had no idea when she had started that. She needed more pressure, but right as she was about to slide over onto one of her keeper’s strong thighs, Ashlyn stood up, lifting the brunette up with her in an impressive feat of strength. She turned to face the bed and tossed Ali down onto it, watching as she bounced twice in the middle of the bed, squealing at the surprising maneuver. Ashlyn took her pants and boxer briefs off, standing naked at the foot of the bed and staring hungrily at her wife. She knelt at the foot of the bed and started to walk on her knees towards the topless brunette, smirking the entire way. Ali returned the smirk and even quirked her eyebrow as the keeper got closer and closer, keeping her maddeningly slow pace.

“You better get those panties off” she nodded down at her wife’s crotch and continued her approach.

“Just the panties?” Ali wondered about her skirt that was still up around her waist, covering most of her midsection.

“Skirt’s not in my way” Ashlyn gave her a lascivious grin. “And I like the pink theme going on down here” she motioned between Ali’s legs as the brunette shimmied out of her panties and spread her legs out wide.

“Oh yeah? Pink huh?”

“I love pink” the keeper laughed wickedly as she lifted Ali’s panties to her face and inhaled deeply. “Fuck me, you smell incredible” her eyes, somehow darker than before when it didn’t seem possible, looked wild with desire.

“Well you better come and get it...” Ali teased, bending her legs at the knees and running her fingers through her own soaking wet folds, spreading them wide open and showing Ashlyn just how wet she was for her, “Sugar.” She playfully used the term of endearment with her southern accent that had been abandoned once they shared that passionate kiss at the foot of the bed. She had to admit, she liked saying it and Ashlyn seemed to get a kick out of it too. Maybe the brunette would take it home with them and incorporate it into their real lives too.

“Oh I’m gonna get it, just you don’t worry about that” the keeper assured, cockily, as she finally reached her destination – kneeling between Ali’s legs. “You’re gonna come so hard you won’t even know where the fuck you are.”

Ali felt her core twitch at her wife’s provocative words and then another warm gush between her legs. She was dying for Ashlyn to touch her, desperate for any kind of contact at all. It had been a long day of waiting and wanting from afar and the brunette was all out of patience. Ashlyn bent over and pressed a warm, open-mouthed kiss to the top of her wife’s mound, making Ali moan louder than ever and buck her hips up.

“Jesus Ash...” she gasped.

But the keeper kept moving up her body and bypassed her eager pussy to straddle her hips and soak the wrinkled-up skirt with her own abundant juices. Ali tried to push her girl back down where she needed her but Ashlyn had all the leverage. The brunette was not amused. She was not in the mood for one of her wife’s torturous edging sessions. Yes, she had to admit they made the orgasm even better once it finally happened, but she just didn’t have the patience for it at that moment. Neither of them had ever been particularly good at making the other wait for very long. They almost always gave in easily. Almost always.

“Let’s see if I can get the pose right...” Ashlyn teased, raising her left arm up to her own breast and tilting her head back a little bit to copy Ali’s positioning from the sketch.

Ali had endured enough. She set her jaw and when she felt her wife’s hips lift up a little bit as she tried to adjust her playful posing, the brunette used her arms and legs to pull herself down lower on the bed and hold Ashlyn up so she could slide underneath her. She wasn’t sure it would work but she was inspired. If her keeper wasn’t going to fuck her, then she was sure as hell gonna fuck her keeper.

“Hey!” Ashlyn whined and then laughed when she realized her predicament, feeling Ali’s strong hands on her hips holding her in place above her grinning face. “Too much?” she tilted her head adorably at her wife’s face beneath her. “Too much” she nodded, answering her own question. “I knew you were worked up but...holy shit!” she yelped when she felt Ali’s powerful mouth lock onto her pussy and start to go to town. “Damn baby” she exhaled and tried to catch her breath from the sudden change in position as well as the incredible things she was feeling between her legs, “don’t hurt yourself now” she swallowed hard, “or me.”

“Oh my fucking God!” Ali yelled in pleasure. “Yes! Jesus fucking Christ you taste amazing...mmmmmmmmmm...” she moaned and groaned as she continued to eat Ashlyn out as if she hadn’t enjoyed a meal in years. 

The keeper was momentarily stunned and speechless at the turn of events. She had felt supremely confident and in control of things mere seconds earlier. But that was part of the reason she loved having sex with Ali so much. She was full of surprises. Ashlyn knew she was pushing her luck with the posing bit but she thought it might be fun to tease her wife for a few minutes longer. She had underestimated Ali’s desperate need and her power had been usurped by the starving brunette.

“Fuck Al” she gasped and had to bend over to support herself, hands pressing into the bed and holding her up, basically on all fours. “Fuck...” she moaned and closed her eyes as her wife’s talented tongue began pushing inside her pulsing walls. 

“Mmmmmm...yesssssss...that’s the plan, sugar” Ali giggled and moaned into her wife’s center, knowing the vibrations would feel incredible for Ashlyn. “So fucking delicious. Mmmmm...fuck I love the way you taste...and smell...and sound...and feel...” she added in more moans at each pause, driving Ashlyn crazy and making one of her legs tremble. She reached up towards the top of the bed and ran her hand up her keeper’s stomach until she felt those beautiful breasts she loved so much. The nipples were getting stiff already and Ali groaned as she played with them with both hands for a few minutes. “My favorite pink on the planet” she admitted with an excited grunt as she squeezed both nipples hard between her fingers.

“Oh God” Ashlyn moaned at all the pleasure flooding her system. She dropped her forehead to the bed and rested on her elbows as she started to lose control of her limbs a little bit. She had been just as worked up as Ali, for once she had been better at hiding it. “Baby, baby, please...goddamn that feels so fucking good...I’m almost there...holy shit...I’m almost there...” she mumbled into her forearm.

The angle of things was terrible for Ali and her neck was already killing her from reaching up so high to get to Ashlyn’s dripping center above her. She wished Ashlyn had just sat on her face so she could hold onto her hips and help keep her upright. That way Ali could reach her breasts and her clit when she was ready to go to the next level. She felt the blonde’s leg twitch again as she continued to devour every inch of her, plotting her next move.

“Are you ready to come for me, sugar?”

Ashlyn heard her wife’s question but before she could answer, Ali had flipped them both over so the keeper was flat on her back with the brunette holding on tightly to her hips and thighs while she moved her mouth up to Ashlyn’s throbbing clit. The pink skirt was now up around Ali’s midsection, just below her breasts, after all the repositioning. Neither of them cared.

“Fuck!” the blonde cried out and bucked her hips wildly at the wonderful new sensation racing through her body. “Yes baby, right there...fuck yes, just like that...” she panted out, reaching down with both hands to hold the brunette head firmly in place.

Ali kept her lips sealed tightly to her wife’s clit and sucked hard, letting her tongue tap at the sensitive nub a few times for good measure. She carefully climbed over Ashlyn’s leg after pulling it flat, and knelt next to her right hip, lips never leaving her keeper’s swollen clit. Ashlyn whined at the change, just because it felt like the brunette was moving away and she thought things were going to need to pause for some reason. She slid her right hand down Ali’s back, over the bunched up skirt, and, once the brunette had settled on her knees next to her hip, Ashlyn grabbed that gorgeous ass that she loved so much and groaned loudly.

“I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry” Ali purred into the soft flesh, glancing at her wife and giving her a wink before flicking her tongue hard and fast across her aching clit.

“Oh my God...” the keeper husked out as her body responded to the exciting stimulation. “Your fingers...baby...please...” she gasped again, arching her back and then tensing the muscles in her stomach as her body climbed higher and higher towards release.

Ali was ready to use her fingers, which was why she changed positions in the first place. She didn’t ease her way inside either – shoving two fingers roughly into Ashlyn’s wet and waiting pussy without any further delay. The sensual, singular feeling of being inside her wife’s hot center caused a flood of her own juices between Ali’s legs and she had to force herself to concentrate on the task at hand and ignore her own urgent need.

“Fuck, babe...God, I love you...” the brunette’s low, lust-filled voice came in pants as she let the sound and feel of Ashlyn’s silken walls feed her mounting desire. 

The keeper dug her blunt nails into Ali’s ass and snapped the brunette out of her pussy-drunk stupor. After a small yelp, Ali focused again and increased her thrusting pace and strength. Ashlyn was so wet for her that she was considering adding a third finger, something the blonde typically didn’t want or need.

“Don’t stop...unnnhhh...” Ashlyn’s body bounced and moved along with her wife’s powerful pumping. She covered Ali’s left hand on her breast with her own and the brunette let her hold it, touched by the tenderness of the gesture at such an intense time. “Fuck...unnnhhh...don’t...fucking...unnnnhhh...stop...”

Ali felt her wife’s body tremble and she knew she was right on the edge of her orgasm. She added the third finger, slowing down just for a few seconds to make sure Ashlyn was ok with it.

“You like that, sugar?” she stopped sucking on her clit just long enough to get the words out.

“Mmmmmm...yes baby...unnnnhhhh...faster...”

The brunette picked up the pace, pumping harder and faster, knowing she couldn’t keep it going for too much longer. She moved her left hand to Ashlyn’s other breast, loving the fact that the blonde kept her hand on top, holding it, as she tugged on and pinched the pretty pink nipple that was already so stiff and hard. Ali felt the bead of sweat between her shoulder blades and her wife’s other hand dig into her ass cheek hard again. She hissed at the sting she felt there, knowing her keeper had broken the skin.

“Fuck!” she shouted into Ashlyn’s clit and then bit the inside of her thigh in response before returning her mouth to the bundle of nerves and flicking even harder.

“Aliiiiii!” she shouted as she came loud and hard. The orgasm held her body almost rigid for a few seconds before turning Ashlyn into a shaking, writhing mess.

“Jesus babe...” Ali growled, still on her knees with her hands in the same places trying to keep the orgasm going. She watched in wonder as the body she loved so much shook and twitched and finally rolled over and curled into itself, facing away from her. The brunette missed the warm hand on her ass as soon as it was gone but she took some solace in the delicious passion covering the fingers of her right hand. “Mmmmmm...” she moaned loudly as she licked every drop up, watching Ashlyn’s back rise and fall as she tried to catch her breath in front of her. When she was done, Ali leaned forward and kissed her wife’s hip, letting her hand travel down to her thigh, tracing the mermaid tattoo as always, while her other hand gently scratched at the back of Ashlyn’s neck. “Are you ok baby?” she cooed as she kissed her way up her wife’s right side, finally reaching her neck and pressing a hot, open-mouthed kiss to her sweet spot behind her ear. 

“I’m so ok” Ashlyn chuckled and then whimpered when she felt Ali’s lips behind her ear. “I haven’t forgotten about you, my sweet Venus” she smiled and rolled her shoulders back so she could see her beautiful brunette. “I just need a minute. That was...something” she chuckled and pulled Ali across her torso without rolling all the way over, so Ali was kind of on all fours with her ass up in the air. “You may finally have broken me, but it took a tag-team with the goddess of love to do it” she laughed softly, tugged at the pink skirt still encircling her wife’s stomach and then playfully smacked Ali’s ass.

“Ow! Watch it” Ali whined and then chuckled as she tried to look back at her butt. She made quick work of the tangled skirt and the blonde helped pull it from her body once and for all.

“Oh shit, did I do that?” Ashlyn leaned up on her elbows and Ali let herself plop down across her body, stomach to stomach, with another whimper.

“Well I sure as hell didn’t reach back there and do it” she laughed. “Maybe it was Venus” she giggled and then moaned when she felt Ashlyn’s hand gently investigating the minor injury.

“I’m so sorry honey” the keeper frowned at her wife. “Do you want me to...”

“I want you to fuck me Ashlyn” Ali cut her off with a throaty chuckle and began to wag her ass back and forth provocatively. “And you’d better hurry up or I’ll take care of it myself...” 

“Oh we can’t have that now, can we?” the keeper smirked, instantly turned on again at her wife’s sultry demand.

“And don’t tease me” she warned with a stern look, her ass still moving from side to side. She could feel her juices starting to slide to the tops of her thighs and she felt a little dizzy. “I can’t take it anymore. I need to come...”

Ashlyn’s right hand moved all around her wife’s ass, carefully avoiding the broken skin in the one spot on her left ass cheek. As she listened to Ali’s desperate request she let her fingers find the drenched pussy lips that were in such need of attention and pushed two long fingers inside without any warning. Ali let out a sound that Ashlyn didn’t think she had ever heard before – it was part groan, part sigh, and part plea.

“One mind-blowing orgasm for the love of my life, coming right up” the blonde promised as she started pumping her fingers in and out, quickly adding a third one when she felt just how ready Ali really was. “Christ baby...I think I can fit my whole hand inside you right now” she husked out, even more turned on by how worked up her wife was.

“Well don’t” Ali tried to laugh but it came out as another passionate groan instead. Ashlyn’s fingers felt incredible inside her and she was already getting out of breath as her body moved along with the strong thrusts. “Have you...unnnhhh...seen how big...your hands are? Unnnnhhhh...Fuck...” she couldn’t believe how fast she was climbing towards her release and Ashlyn hadn’t even touched her clit yet. “We can...talk about...unnnhhh...fisting...mmmmmmmm...some other time...unnnhhh...oh God...”

Ashlyn felt her wife’s body go almost limp as she continued pumping into her. She managed to get her other hand underneath her breasts and was rubbing them and tweaking her nipples as the brunette started to climb. This position wasn’t ideal for reaching all of her favorite places on Ali’s body, that was for sure. But she knew better than to stop. Ashlyn hadn’t meant to have a conversation right that moment about fisting. She had merely been making an observation about how wet and ready her wife’s pussy had been. They had talked about fisting before and decided it wasn’t something either of them wanted to try right away. Right away turned into years and then they brought it up every once in a while when they made a point to talk about new things they might want to think about trying. Ass play, fisting, bondage, fantasies...they all came up at one time or another during one of their discussions. Neither one of them was against fisting, but, after some careful consideration, they realized that it probably wasn’t going to be something they enjoyed. Ashlyn didn’t like anything too thick inside her and usually used a narrower dildo than Ali did. So fisting the keeper didn’t seem like a good fit. The brunette’s vagina did have room for bigger things, like thick, knobby dildos and three of Ashlyn’s fingers more often than not. But the keeper’s hands were huge and neither of them was sure it would fit – even inside Ali. But, as always, they never said never. It just wasn’t going to be that day in the NC hotel, that was for damned sure.

“Here, come here” Ashlyn removed her fingers and helped her wife maneuver herself so she was sitting between the keeper’s legs with her back to Ashlyn’s front. 

“No...don’t stop...” Ali pouted as she let the blonde move her into position like a glorified ragdoll.

“You could help a little more” Ashlyn grunted as she pulled her wife up and into place while she herself leaned against pillows on the headboard. “I’m just sayin’...”

“I’ll help” Ali moved both of her hands to her own pussy and slid three fingers inside while rubbing her own clit.

“Hey, that’s not what I meant” Ashlyn chuckled and, after a few seconds more of positioning, removed her wife’s hands and replaced them with her own.

“Oh fuuuuuuucckkkk...” the brunette let out a long, moan when she finally felt Ashlyn’s fingers right where she wanted them. “Fuck me baby...fuck me so good...” 

Ashlyn increased her speed, loving the way the brunette’s whole upper body and head seemed to be made of jelly after so much preamble and role play and foreplay and the keeper’s sexy orgasm. Ali’s eyes were closed and she flopped her head from side to side, finally letting it rest under the blonde’s chin for a few moments now and then. Her arms were just as useless. Ali tried to play with her own breasts but she ended up leaving one limply by her side and loosely holding onto Ashlyn’s thigh with the other. 

“Is that good, sexy? You gonna come for me? My sweet Venus...my gorgeous goddess...Goddamn you’re incredible Al...” Ashlyn kept murmuring into her wife’s head and neck, loving the weight of her body pressing down on her own. 

Ali had always enjoyed this position because she felt enveloped by her keeper’s strong arms and body. Ashlyn liked it too, but the angle was hard on her wrist so they didn’t usually start out like this. But when Ali got close they would sometimes shift to it for the final push. That day in the hotel, Ali’s body was already at the final push before Ashlyn even touched her. The blonde rubbed her wife’s clit harder and faster, feeling her walls starting to close in on her fingers. She kissed Ali’s neck and then nibbled on her earlobe, biting harder than usual to help get her across the finish line.

“Oh God...unnnnhhh...Oh...oh...mmmmmmm...fuck...my God...unnnhhhh...Yessssssssssss!!!!!!!!” Ali yelled, hissing as the powerful orgasm ripped through her body. 

Her leg shot out straight and fast and Ashlyn was reminded of another perk of this position. The brunette’s body rolled through the incredible sensation and she sat up for a few seconds as her arms and legs twitched, only to crash back down against her keeper’s chest in a graceless, sweaty heap. Ashlyn wrapped her arms around Ali’s body and held her close. She could feel her racing heartbeat in her chest and also in her neck as she pressed a kiss to it, humming into it.

“Mmmmmmm...you’re so beautiful baby. I love you so much. So fucking sexy and gorgeous. I love making you come, more than anything else in the world...” she spoke softly, nuzzling the brunette’s neck and cheek and loving every second of it.

They spent the next two hours having sex, finally enjoying the luxury of time and waking hours and willing bodies. As the afternoon threatened to turn into early evening they showered, wishing they had left more time for a nap.

“You know if we had left more time we wouldn’t have napped” Ashlyn laughed as she dried herself off quickly and then helped her wife do the same. It was silly and it didn’t actually help but it was sweet and they both appreciated the gesture. “We just would have had more sex.”

“You’re right, but either way it would have been more time” Ali grinned. “More sex or a nap – I’d take either one and be very happy about it. Ouch, be careful back there would ya?”

“I don’t even have nails. How the hell did I scratch you like that?” the keeper was bent over, examining Ali’s ass cheek again, truly perplexed. “I’m sorry baby” she kissed the red flesh gently and stood up again. “I feel like we should put some Neosporin on it or something.”

“Spoken like a true mother” Ali chuckled and turned to face her thoughtful wife. “I’ll be fine. It’s just sensitive now” she pecked her lips and gave her a soft smile. “Besides, sometimes these things happen” she winked.

Several minutes later as they were getting dressed, Ashlyn brought up the subject they had both been avoiding since they got back to the hotel room that afternoon. She could tell that Ali felt a little insecure about it and wanted to let her know that it was ok, that it had been fun and exciting. She weighed the pros and cons of letting Ali suffer through some anxiety that evening, wondering about it, or dealing with a little discomfort right then to talk about it so she wouldn’t have to wonder.

“So, umm...” the keeper dropped her eyes, using the excuse of adjusting the leather belt around her waist. The pause lasted too long and Ali looked at her through the reflection in the bathroom mirror as she finished her make-up.

“What’s up beautiful?” she tilted her head inquisitively at the blonde.

“Oh, umm...nothing, I just...”

“Spit it out babe, we’ve gotta go soon and...”

“I thought today was really fun and I just wanted to thank you, that’s all” she shrugged shyly and finally lifted her eyes to meet her wife’s in the mirror.

“Honey, you don’t have to thank me for having sex with you” Ali laughed and smiled. “Newsflash – I love it too!”

“No, I meant the other part...Sugar” she used her own southern accent on the nickname and smiled bashfully at her wife.

“Oh, I...uh...” it was Ali’s turn to drop her eyes. She blushed deeply and closed her eyes when she felt Ashlyn’s arms encircle her waist from behind. “Was it really ok?” she asked in a tiny voice, her eyes still closed. “I don’t know what I was thinking...”

“Hey, hey, look at me Al” Ashlyn’s hand lifted the brunette’s chin up until they were looking at each other in the mirror. “I loved it. It was great and I’m trying to thank you for going out on a limb like that for us. That took guts and I know you can still get shy about stuff like that sometimes.”

“Really? It wasn’t stupid? Did you just go along with it so you wouldn’t hurt my feelings?” Ali turned in her wife’s arms so they were facing each other. “Please tell me the truth. I won’t be upset, but I need to know the truth.”

“Ali, honey, I’m telling you the truth. I swear.”

“Do you swear on the blue stone?”

“I swear on the blue stone” Ashlyn nodded solemnly. 

Neither Ali nor Ashlyn had ever felt good about swearing on somebody’s grave to try and prove how serious and honest they were being. They had both done it in the past but when one of them had suggested using the blue stone instead it was an easy change to make. The idea was to use something that was incredibly meaningful to both of them, something they would never take lightly or disrespect. The joke between them was that they both claimed to be the one who had come up with the brilliant idea to use the stone from Satellite Beach that Ali had loaned to Ashlyn as her something blue on their wedding day. The beautiful smooth stone was kept in Grandma Lilian’s old jewelry box on the dressing table in their bedroom at the big old house. They had shown it to the kids over the years, as they had shown them all of the gifts they had each received on their wedding day for old, new, borrowed and blue. When Josie had discovered their wedding albums and had become infatuated with every detail from that day – all of the gifts had been displayed and explained. Of course, the stone that was four different colors of blue and could fit in the palm of their mothers’ hands had been the most popular among the kids. But it was closely followed by the antique flask Ken and the Kriegers had given to Ashlyn as her old. That ‘Harris & Co.’ flask lived up in Ashlyn’s studio and had taken a few dings over the years as different kids had tried to take it down off the high shelf it was kept on. Luckily the silver could be repaired if any of the dents got too bad. The kids would sometimes ask to see the blue stone and Lily had ‘collected’ it once for her own box of goodies. They all knew how important it was to both of their mothers and had learned to respect it over time. Ashlyn lost her temper once and grounded all four kids for a full week when the blue stone had mysteriously disappeared. She rescinded the punishment when the stone had been anonymously returned to the dressing table the next day.

The handkerchief that Gram had made for Ali out of the lace from her own wedding veil, even embroidering their initials and wedding date into it, had been framed along with the handmade lace handkerchief Deb’s mother had made and carried with her on her own wedding day. It hung in the front parlor with the other historic pieces of their families. The exception to that was the string of thimbles Tammye had given to Ali. That string of Grandma Lilian’s thimbles was tied to the wooden side-support that held up the mirror of the dressing table in the master bedroom. They were always on display, if you were curious enough to see the small silver pieces that meant so much to both Ali and Ashlyn. They hadn’t been able to tuck them away or cover them up. The amethyst jewelry that they had both been given by their wedding parties as their ‘new’ items was in their different jewelry boxes and they both still wore parts of it from time to time. And Ali’s Carolina blue garter, the one Ashlyn got her to replace the one that was thrown to the masses during the reception, was tucked safely inside her box of keepsakes in her closet. That’s not to say that it hadn’t made the occasional appearance on her leg during sexy times though.

“Well, I know you wouldn’t lie – not on the blue stone” Ali nodded as her blush started to fade. “Thank you Ash, for letting me go there and give it a try” she giggled, embarrassed again at the whole idea. 

“It took me a minute...”

“I thought I was gonna have to give it up there for a while” the brunette laughed as they moved back into the room so Ali could finish getting dressed.

“Hey, I was starving. So, you know, factor that in when you’re judging me” Ashlyn poked her in the ribs and kissed her bare shoulder.

“Ok, ok, that’s fair. You caught on pretty fast, really. Sugar” she winked as she stepped into her dress, pulling it up and then turning around so Ashlyn could zip her up. “You are so freaking adorable, do you know that?”

“I’ve been told” Ashlyn grinned and kissed her shoulder again after securing the zipper. “And thank you. I know you’ve heard all those stories a million times before. Thanks for letting me tell them to you again anyway.”

“Well that’s how it works, isn’t it? This pretend stuff? I don’t know” she shrugged and slipped into her heels, using her wife to steady herself. “We don’t ever have to do it again, if you don’t want to.”

“No!” Ashlyn answered quickly and loudly and then sighed when she saw the hurt look flash across the brunette’s face. “I mean, no, I’d like to do it again. Something like it. I think. I guess I don’t know what, exactly. But it was fun” she finished with a genuine smile that reassured Ali completely. “We’ve kinda been doing it already though, right?” she cocked her head at her wife.

“What, like the cheerleader pom-poms and the coach’s whistle and stuff like that?”

“Yeah, and your suits” Ashlyn walked behind her and put her hands on her hips, kissing her neck softly. “God, I love when you do the boss lady thing. That kills me” she closed her eyes and let her memory take her back for a moment.

“Does the beach theme with the seashells count too?”

“Absolutely it does” the keeper nodded enthusiastically. “Beach blanket bingo, baby.”

“You just love saying that” Ali laughed.

“Yes I do” Ashlyn grinned at her. “But it still counts.”

“Ok, so let’s think about other stuff that might be fun to try...”

“Oooh, and the locker room fantasy!”

“Yeah, that was a good one” Ali smirked. “But are acting out our fantasies the same thing as...whatever this was?”

“Sure, it’s all the same thing. Role play, fantasies, whatever kind of scene you want to create I think it’s all the same” Ashlyn shrugged. “I don’t really know because I’ve never done much of it before.”

“You haven’t?” Ali fixed her with a skeptical eye.

“No, I really haven’t” the keeper pursed her lips as she thought about the question for a minute. “I know you think I had all this experience before you...”

“That’s because you did” Ali corrected her gently, patting her chest and pecking her lips as they got ready to leave the room.

“Yeah, but that was...13 years ago. I was more experienced back then but baby, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you’ve caught up now.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Honey, I’ve done way more things with you than I ever did with anybody else, hell, with everybody else combined. There’s no comparison. And before you get all mad about it” she stopped her wife in mid-eyebrow quirk. “I’ll remind you again that my very best sexual experience with another woman wouldn’t even register on our top 1,000 chart. That’s the truth and you’re just gonna have to find a way to accept it” she giggled and then laughed as Ali joined her a few seconds later.

“Thank you” the brunette leaned in and gave her wife a slow but sweet kiss. “I don’t know why I still get so weird about it sometimes” she chuckled self-consciously.

“Maybe because you’re a shy human” Ashlyn reassured her with a tender smile. “But I will write it down somewhere for you so you don’t forget...’Ali Krieger is the best sex I’ve ever had, will ever have, and could ever have. Amen. I swear on the blue stone. So help me God.’”

“Don’t you dare” Ali’s eyes were big, knowing that it was exactly the type of thing Ashlyn would actually do. “I believe you. I believe you” the brunette rolled her eyes and laughed again. “I love you so much Ashlyn” she whispered as they hugged just before opening the door to the hallway. “Don’t you ever forget it.”

Ashlyn squeezed her wife and patted her carefully on her uninjured butt cheek.

“I won’t, Sugar, I won’t.”


	20. Busy October Weekend

Soccer season was in full swing and the Krieger kids were all playing the favorite family sport and enjoying it. Ali coached Drew’s team, Josie’s team and Lily’s team and Dodge, as he had done the year before, played up with boys a year ahead of him and was still the best player on the field. Even though Ali wasn’t Dodge’s official coach, she still taught him the right way to play soccer – just as she did the other kids. Between Ali, Ashlyn, and Ken Krieger, the kids were well-schooled in the fundamentals of proper soccer technique. The Kriegers were back to their insanely busy weekends with four young kids all involved in different sports and school activities. This year they had the extra flag football practices and games for Dodge added to the mix. There was no way they could have done it without Ken and Vicki and the other moms and dads on their kids’ various teams.

The weekends in September and October went like this:

Saturday  
8:30am Lily soccer game  
10:00am Josie soccer game  
10:30am Dodge soccer game  
11:30am Drew soccer game  
1:30pm Dodge football practice

Sunday  
9:00am Dodge football game  
2:00pm Josie play rehearsal

 

That was just the required events. Add to that the social calendars of four young kids and it got crazy, fast - playdates, birthday parties, after school visits with friends. There were practices and play rehearsals and music lessons during the week after school or in the evenings too. It was a whirlwind of places to be and uniforms to wash and instruments to remember and by the time Sunday evening rolled around and the Kriegers were enjoying family time or time with the four-families, the two moms were spent. They weren’t sure how they were going to get up Monday morning and do it all again. It was all worth it though when they saw Drew execute a perfect Cruyff maneuver in a game or Lily outhustle everybody else to chase down a loose ball. If they watched carefully they could see the evidence that their efforts were paying dividends. And dividends didn’t have to be successful soccer dribbles or football plays or song renditions. Sometimes a win for Ali and Ashlyn meant a Saturday afternoon where all four kids were happy and not in tears about whatever happened that morning on the soccer pitch. Sometimes a win was all four kids snuggling together watching a show while Ashlyn made dinner and Ali fought her way home through traffic. Sometimes a win was watching one of the kids treat a classmate or a teammate or a playmate with kindness, even when they didn’t think anybody was watching. Sometimes those were the best wins of all. 

Learning how to appreciate all of those small wins every single day hadn’t always been easy for Ali or Ashlyn. They were both super-competitive people who set lofty goals for themselves and expected a lot from themselves and the people around them. Parenthood could destroy you if you let it and both moms had witnessed some awful moms and dads at school and on the various sports fields. They realized early on that they didn’t want to be those parents. Ali had always worried that she was going to be that obnoxious, over-protective helicopter mother and had been working with Mattie, their therapist, for years on how to keep those parts of her personality in check when it came to her kids. But Ashlyn had her struggles too. It wasn’t a new challenge. Parents had been dealing with it since the dawn of time. How do you raise your kids and teach them right from wrong without actually doing everything for them? How do you encourage them to be strong and try new things without holding them back out of fear that they might get hurt, either physically or emotionally? It was hard work and it could be a constant source of worry for both Ashlyn and Ali. They had to remind each other often to relax and let things happen sometimes.

And perhaps the most frustrating thing of all was that just when they thought they had something figured out, they realized that that successful method didn’t apply to the next kid. All four young Krieger kids were different people with different wants and needs and dreams and struggles. Nothing ever worked the same way for any of the kids and, when the two moms thought about it, they felt silly for ever expecting it to in the first place. In those frustrating times it was wonderful to have their best friends in the same boat with them. No matter what happened, they could always talk to Sydney or Whitney or Niki or Molly about it. They talked to Dom and Ryan too, and sometimes it was refreshing to get the male point of view on a situation, but usually it was easier to talk to the other women about it. 

As the kids got older, Ali and Ashlyn found themselves talking with the parents of their kids’ friends about more of those types of things too. Never the embarrassing or intimate things – those topics were saved for the four-family discussions. But there were at least one or two parents for each kid that Ali or Ashlyn could talk to or count on in a pinch with any of the kids. And nextdoor neighbor Julie Donaldson was always a great ear for them both, even though her kids were older. Her youngest, daughter Micky, was 5 years older than Drew so she had already been through everything the Kriegers could think of and she was always happy to listen or give some advice when asked. With each passing year, Ali became more and more convinced that Julie was the perfect neighbor and often joked with her that she was never allowed to move away.

The first Sunday afternoon in October, the four families were gathered in Arlington at the Cross household for their usual, almost weekly, dinner. All four families didn’t always make it every week but they rarely went more than two or three weeks in a row without whichever busy family making it a priority to get there. Sometimes it wasn’t just the four families. Every once in a while grandparents joined them or other visiting family members or even other friends. Whenever the Cross’ hosted there were usually extra friends there because they were the closest house of the four families to Boston and Cambridge and Metro West. Likewise, when Sydney hosted, Erica – one of Sydney and Ali’s best friends from high school, brought her daughter Maisy over to join the fun because she lived closer to the Dwyers. 

One of the most common additions to Sunday afternoons and evenings at the Cross house was Sarah, Ali’s ex, and her wife and daughter. Ali and Sarah had remained good friends and everybody was fine with it. The truth was that they had been friends far longer than they had ever been anything more and most people usually forgot that they even had a history other than friendship together. Molly Cross and Sarah had become really good friends over the years. Ali often went out to girls’ night in Boston with the two of them when they could coordinate their schedules. Anybody was welcome to join them, but because the three of them were the only ones, besides Niki, who were routinely working in the city, nobody ever took them up on the offer. Sarah, her wife Erin, and their 6-year old daughter Daphne were all at the Cross’ house that Sunday in early October and they were all having a good time doing the usual things. The kids and many of the adults were running around the small yard playing soccer or some sort of nerf gun or, if it was warm enough, water gun fight. The only unusual thing about the Cross hosted get-togethers is that there weren’t any dogs there. The house was small and the yard was small and both Ali and Sydney had just decided not to bring any dogs to take up even more space. They were still welcome but nobody was surprised when they didn’t make the trip. 

It was almost 5pm and most of the group was in the backyard either cooking on the grill or playing soccer with the kids. All four families were there, as were Sarah and her family, and Carmelina Moscato and her wife Kacey Bellamy. Ali and Sydney were ecstatic to see their friend Carm and the three of them talked and laughed together almost the entire time with different people coming in and joining in from time to time. The other less familiar faces were one of Niki’s brothers and his wife and their youngest son who was 12, 2 years older than Drew and the same age as Cassius Dwyer. Everybody was getting along fine and even 13-1/2 year old Noah Cross was participating and having fun. 

There were some tense moments in the friendly but occasionally-fierce kids’ soccer game and Ryan had to physically separate Noah Cross and Cassius Dwyer after a rough foul in front of the goal. Cassius had a nasty cut on his shin that Dom was looking at while the other kids were wide-eyed from the skirmish. Noah and Cash were the two eldest of the four family kids, with Drew right behind at 10-1/2 years old. Niki joined Ryan on the other side of the playing field with Noah between them with a scowl on his face. After some discussion among the adults who had been participating, Ryan called for Drew to take the penalty kick in place of the injured Cassius. Noah was kicked out of the game because he had been told at least three previous times to take it easy and not hurt any of the other kids. The whole backyard was watching now and Ali found herself holding her breath without even realizing she was doing it. She was sitting at the big picnic table with Sydney, Carm, Molly, Sarah, Erin, Whitney, and Niki’s sister-in-law. Niki’s brother was manning the grill after boasting about how much better his burgers were than his sister’s. The picnic table ladies were enjoying some wine and some stories about the start to the school year and not really paying much attention to the soccer game. But once Ryan’s booming voice called out her son’s name, the brunette was all ears. She straightened her back and craned her neck to see what was happening.

“He’s fine” Sydney tried to reassure her. “Noah took Cassius out so Drew’s taking the pk. They’ve got it under control” she waved it off for the non-issue that it would have been if any other kid except for Drew Krieger had been called on to take the pk. 

“I told Niki not to let him play today” Molly clucked and then turned to Sydney. “Sorry Syd. Is he ok?”

“Yeah, looks like he’s missing a chunk of his shin” she chuckled like the wizened soccer mom she had become. “But he’ll live. Dom gave me the thumbs up. He’s good.”

Ali scanned the soccer game area for the hazel eyes she needed to try and read and finally found them watching their son, both the eyes and the boy full of anxiety. Even though this was just a backyard soccer game among friends and family, this was exactly the type of situation that made Drew’s stomach situation a problem in the first place. Ashlyn must have felt her wife’s intense stare because she finally glanced over towards the picnic table and they shared a worried but hopeful nod. Maybe this time would be different. Maybe this time, after meeting with the child psychologist, Dr. Murphy, every two weeks since the beginning of April, Drew would feel confident enough to be in the spotlight, dim though this one was.

“Let’s go big D” Ryan called out as he put the ball on the spot and took his place in the goal. 

That was how they did pks. Whatever kid had been playing goalkeeper was replaced by one of the adults to try and stop the pk. Ryan was the most convenient choice, although the toughest keeper because he was so big and athletic. Everyone else was busy or too far away. Ashlyn would have been the next choice but they had made a rule years ago that she wasn’t allowed to be the keeper for the pks because it just wouldn’t have been fair. The truth was she could probably let that go now. It had been so long since she had played competitively that her advantage had diminished to practically nothing in comparison to their other athletic friends. Ashlyn swallowed hard as she watched the drama unfold right in front of her. She willed her son to be strong. She sent him all the positive energy she could muster and she bit her tongue so she would stay quiet. She was afraid to encourage him because she didn’t want him to feel like she was pressuring him, which only added to his discomfort in these situations. 

“Come on Drew! You got this buddy!” Niki called out. “Keep your eye on the ball. You got this!”

“Let’s go big man” Dom added with a clap as he sat on the ground next to his mildly injured son.

“Come ON Drew” Dodge complained loudly, “hurry up!”

Ryan blew the whistle around his neck as the official referee that afternoon and got everybody’s attention again.

“Take the kick Drew” Ryan nodded at the boy who hadn’t moved towards the ball yet.

There were other shouts of encouragement, some more heartfelt than others and some mostly aimed at keeping things moving along for everybody else. Niki looked at Ashlyn but the keeper kept her eyes on Drew. Back at the picnic table Sydney looked at her best friend next to her and wondered why Ali hadn’t called out to her son yet.

“Let’s go Krieger!” Sydney urged in her own uniquely pushy and supportive style. “We haven’t got all day!”

“Syd, don’t” Ali frowned as she spoke quietly but firmly and everybody at the picnic table wondered what the hell was going on.

Ashlyn finally opened her mouth and started to tell her son that it was ok. That he didn’t have to take the kick if he didn’t want to. But all she got out was his name.

“Drew...” she began as she stepped towards the boy a few feet away from her.

“No! I’m not doing it!” Drew yelled at her, his hands were fists at his sides, his whole body tense and about to erupt. His face was beet red and his eyes were full of tears just starting to stream down his cheeks. “You can’t make me!!” he screamed and then ran around the house towards the front yard, away from the game and all of the staring eyes.

Nobody said a word for almost 20 agonizing seconds. Everyone looked around at each other for some sort of clue as to how to handle the sudden and surprising situation. Ali stood up, grim-faced, and started to climb over the picnic table bench to go after her son but Ashlyn waved her off.

“Sorry guys” the blonde said as she jogged after Drew, giving the group a shrug that was half apologetic and half embarrassed.

“Ok, Little D, you’re up” Ryan took control again and kept the game moving, eager to give the other kids something else to think about. “Let’s see what you’ve got there Dodger.”

Ali sat back down and things went back to normal everywhere except the picnic table. All 7 sets of eyes around the table focused on the brunette with varying degrees of concern. 

“Everything ok Al?” Molly asked first, just a second before Sydney spoke as well.

“I’m sorry boo, I didn’t mean to upset him...”

“No, it wasn’t you” Ali was quick to alleviate the guilt Sydney was feeling. “He’s ok” she sighed and turned to face Molly and the rest of the women at the table while Sydney reached over and held her hand. “He’ll be ok in a few minutes I think.” She took a deep breath and, when nobody else said or did anything, she started to explain. She got a supportive nod from Whitney across the table which made her feel better. Obviously Ashlyn had shared more with Whitney than Ali had with Sydney up to that point. “He gets...nervous, anxious. He has anxiety sometimes when he feels like he’s in the spotlight.”

“Is this about his stomach problems?” Sydney asked quietly, trying to keep the question vague enough so Ali could answer it without going into too many details if she didn’t want to.

“Yeah, it’s the same thing” she squeezed her bestie’s hand, happy to have her typical, unwavering support in that moment. “We didn’t realize it for a while. At first we thought he had an actual stomach problem, like physically. Or that he had a food allergy or something like that. He would get really bad stomach aches when he ate” she tried to catch up the people who didn’t know even that much about her son’s struggles over the past couple of years. 

“Poor guy” Sarah offered with a sad smile.

“Yeah, it was rough. To make a long story short, we tried a million different things with his diet to see what he might be allergic to and stuff like that and we came up empty” she rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. “It was really frustrating because we knew something was wrong but we just couldn’t figure it out.”

“Did you try a food allergy specialist?” Erin asked.

“We did. Our doctor did everything she could to help us understand what was going on. She’s known Drew his whole life and knew something was wrong too. She finally suggested a...child psychologist” she admitted and felt guilty for sharing her son’s personal information like that. It wasn’t really her news to share and she regretted it instantly. She swallowed and kept going, just wanting the conversation to be over with. “It turns out his anxiety was giving him the stomach aches. He was making himself sick with worry.”

“Holy shit” Molly leaned forward and poured more wine into Ali’s glass and they all chuckled, even the grateful brunette. 

“But it’s just situations where he feels like he’s the center of attention, right?” Sydney asked, wanting to make sure she was caught up and not missing anything. Now wasn’t the time to chastise her best friend for not sharing more of the specific details with her. “This is why he stopped pitching in baseball, right?”

“Yes, exactly” Ali gave the coach a warm, thankful smile and squeezed her hand again. “That’s where we first noticed it was becoming a problem. He loves pitching but he couldn’t handle being...on display like that I guess is the best way to describe it.”

“Under scrutiny” Whitney chimed in for the first time.

“Yes” Ali nodded. “Anytime he feels like he stands out, his anxiety kicks in.”

“But he’s taken pks with us a million times before today?” Molly tried to understand.

“I’m not sure what that was just about” the brunette nodded towards the soccer game that was still being played on the other side of the yard. “It could be because he doesn’t know everybody here today” she shrugged. “It could be because we’ve had a busy weekend and he’s just overtired right now. It could be because we were all watching the game closely right at that moment...”

“After the scuffle between Noah and Cash” Carm said softly, starting to understand. “We were literally all paying attention to the game...”

“And then Ryan called on Drew to take the pk...” Whitney groaned.

“Hey, nobody did anything wrong” Ali quickly put everyone at ease. “Not even Drew. He can’t help it. He’s trying. He’s been working on it all summer.”

“It takes time” Sarah nodded. “I know. He sounds like me when I was younger” she gave a self-conscious half-smile to the group as they all turned to look at her. “I had...well, they call it social anxiety nowadays. Back when I was Drew’s age they just called me shy. But it was so much more than that. Shy is one thing but this was...debilitating.”

“Wow, I never would have guessed that in a million years” Sydney said with a surprised look on her face.

“It’s hard to sound like a fool if you don’t say very much” the architect laughed. “I learned little tricks to help me through the really bad times. And then I just made the rest of it work for me. Being the quiet one is part of my mysterious charm” she winked at her wife.

“Yes it sure is” Erin smiled and kissed her cheek with a giggle and everybody laughed too.

“I wish I would have had a child psychologist to help me back then” Sarah nodded at Ali. “People like Ashlyn have done such a great job telling everybody that mental health is just as important as physical health but there’s still a stupid stigma surrounding getting the help you might need, even on a temporary basis. It’s too bad.”

“But it’s getting better” Whitney added thoughtfully. “Just the fact that there are child psychologists at all is a major improvement.”

“You’re absolutely right” Molly agreed. “Poor Drew. Poor you guys” she gave Ali a concerned smile.

“We’re all learning” the brunette replied, trying to make sure they knew how optimistic she, Ashlyn and Drew all were about it. “Half the battle was knowing what was triggering it in the first place and we’ve got that squared away so that’s great.”

“That’s why you didn’t say anything when he didn’t take the pk right away” Sydney nodded and squinted at her best friend.

“Yes. Encouragement to us sometimes sounds like unreasonable pressure to Drew” the brunette explained something they had learned months ago from Dr. Murphy.

“I’m surprised Ashlyn pressured him into it” Molly frowned.

“I don’t know for sure, but if I had to guess I’ll bet she was trying to tell him it was ok if he didn’t feel like taking it” Ali countered but without any hostility or defensiveness in her voice. “It’s been hard but we’re both learning how to handle him and it’s getting better. He needs to figure out how to handle himself in those situations, but that’ll come. It just takes time.”

A few minutes later, Niki’s sister-in-law and Erin had been called away to deal with the grilling and Daphne’s missing shoe, leaving only Sydney, Whitney, Sarah, Molly and Ali at the picnic table. They were quiet for a few minutes and then, when Sydney, Whitney and Molly were talking about something else, Ali caught Sarah’s eye.

“I never knew that Sare” the brunette spoke quietly but smiled warmly at her friend and former lover.

“Not many people do” the architect smiled back at her. “But he’ll figure it out Ali. He’s a smart kid and he’s got great parents. He’ll be ok.”

Somehow hearing those words from somebody who had lived through something similar, and from somebody who Ali trusted and respected and knew was intelligent, made a huge difference for the brunette. She had two important things made clear for her that evening at the picnic table. First was that Drew was going to be ok. She had first-hand information that her boy was bright enough to figure it out and she really felt like he was going to be able to do it. That was incredible. Second was that, even though she had felt guilty for so long about the end of her relationship with Sarah, it was obvious to Ali now that neither she nor Sarah had been completely honest with each other back then. They must have both known, on some level anyway, that their time together had been temporary. Sarah had withheld some serious information from Ali, just as the brunette had done to Sarah. Not that anybody was keeping score anymore, but knowing that Sarah hadn’t been as committed to their time together as it had sometimes appeared, gave the brunette an extra level of guilt relief.

“Thanks for sharing it with me, with us” Ali looked around the table as she spoke to Sarah. “It means a lot and I appreciate you putting yourself out there like that for him, and for us. Thank you Sare, really.”

“You’re more than welcome, anytime. What are friends for?” she winked at the brunette and they both laughed.

//

That first weekend in October had indeed been a busy one. In addition to the weekly soccer, football and play rehearsal schedule, the #2 ranked Boston Breakers were hosting the #3 ranked Atlanta Fever in the first playoff game that season. The game was Saturday afternoon and it had been a scramble to get everybody there on time for it. Additionally, Suburu was in town filming the fourth and final installment of the seasonal commercials. It was time for the autumn foliage and apple picking and general Fall fun in New England ad to be filmed. The Suburu people were happy to get some extra exciting footage of the Breakers big win on Saturday. Then on Sunday they filmed some footage going to Dodge’s little league football game. After the game, they followed the family up North to the middle of New Hampshire to enjoy the beautiful Fall foliage with the leaves on the trees turning amazing, vibrant colors. Ashlyn and Ali took the kids apple picking and chose some pumpkins to take home and carve up. They even went to a huge corn maze which was a first for the young family. It was fun but more than a little stressful for the moms. One of them had to keep up with Dodge at all times and that was no easy task. They both had visions of a lengthy, desperate search and rescue mission in the dark as the authorities had to come and help them find their energetic 6-1/2 year old son. Ali used to tease Ashlyn for dressing Dodge in neon colors before they went on an outing, but she had to admit it was a brilliant tactic. Sometimes all they got was a quick glimpse of him and if they knew they were looking for his neon yellow cap or safety orange sweatshirt it made it that much easier. 

By the time they made it to Niki and Molly’s house for the four-family dinner gathering late that Sunday afternoon, the whole Krieger clan was tired. 

“Who’s gonna turn into a pumpkin first tonight?” Ashlyn joked with Ali as they all piled out of the Suburu minivan at the Cross residence late that afternoon.

“Can we carve pumpkins now?!” Josie asked, excitedly – the last kid to get out of the minivan because she wasn’t done coloring the picture she had been working on during the drive.

“No, Jose” Ali shook her head and gave her wife a pointed look for putting ideas in their daughter’s head. They were just lucky it had been Josie who had heard her and not Lily. Lily, especially a tired Lily, would have pitched a fit if she had been told no to the pumpkin carving. “That’s just a saying...we’re not doing anything else tonight but relaxing and eating dinner here, then going home for bedtime.”

“But what kind of saying is that? Turn into a pumpkin?” she looked up at the brunette with an adorably confused face.

“Ummm...well, you know in Cinderella when the spell wears off at midnight?”

“Yeah.”

“And the beautiful carriage turns back into a big pumpkin?”

“Ah-huh” the girl nodded as they walked around the house towards the backyard.

“Well, that’s what it’s from. The saying.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I haven’t explained it to you yet silly” Ali chuckled. “When we say it now it means somebody who gets tired and then gets grumpy or crabby. Mama was asking me which one of you guys I thought would get tired and cranky first tonight. Which one of you would turn into a pumpkin.”

“Hmmmm” Josie considered everything her mother had explained and shook her head with a studious frown. “But we’re not carving pumpkins now?”

“No honey” Ali sighed heavily and gave Ashlyn another look. “Remember? We’re doing them next weekend, with Grandma and Gigi and Caro.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right” she brightened at the idea of three of her four grandmothers coming to stay with them for a week while Ashlyn went to Chicago for NWSL Championship week. Ali was joining her for the second half of the week and the Grandmas were coming up to babysit. “I can’t wait to play my new song for them” she beamed up at the brunette. “When are they coming again?”

“Come on you two” Ashlyn tried to save Ali from one of the unending circular conversations that the kids always seemed to find themselves stuck in. “Slow pokes. Everybody else is already running around the backyard but you two. Let’s shake a leg!”

“What does shake a leg mean?”

Ali laughed and rolled her eyes at her wife who let her head drop to her chest, exaggerating her exasperated reaction.

“It means hurry up, buttercup, so hurry up” the keeper reached down and patted the girl on her butt and then tickled her sides just enough to make her giggle and quicken her pace.

Josie trotted off ahead of them and quickly spotted James Dwyer, her favorite four-family friend and, arguably, her favorite anywhere friend or person.

“Come on James” she pointed at the boy, 5 months younger than Josie herself was, “Shake a leg!”

Ali and Ashlyn both laughed out loud as they watched the pair run off towards the makeshift soccer pitch that took up most of the backyard. 

“She’s too smart for her own good sometimes” Ashlyn chuckled, putting her arm around her wife’s shoulder as they stood and watched the little redhead for another minute.

“No, she’s too smart for our own good. That’s the problem.”

“You are not wrong about that. At all.”

//

“Listen” Whitney Flanagan spoke quietly when she found herself alone with Ali as they were putting leftovers into Molly and Niki’s fridge after dinner that first Sunday evening in October. “I was going to talk to you about this tomorrow, but since we’re here now...”

“What’s the matter Whit? You’ve been serious the whole time we’ve been here. Which one of us are you mad at, me or Ashlyn?”

“What? No” the lawyer’s face broke into a relaxed smile for what seemed like the first time all evening. “I’m not mad at either one of you, yet” she quirked her eyebrow at the brunette.

“Oh geez, what’d I do now?” Ali asked playfully, but she was actually nervous. Whitney wasn’t usually this serious when they were all just hanging out together like this. “Will it help if I apologize right off the bat?”

“No, come on” Whitney chuckled and shook her head. “Be serious with me for a minute, ok?”

“Jesus Whit, what is it?”

“Have you done what we talked about last week yet?”

“Umm...” Ali thought hard for a minute, trying to figure out what Whitney was referring to. “We talk about a lot of things every week. Can you give me a hint?”

“The letters? And gifts?” the lawyer’s eyebrows were up and she was starting to make Ali nervous.

“Oh, that” the brunette sighed and went back to covering food with saran wrap so Whitney could put it in the fridge. “No, not yet. I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal...”

“Ali, come on. I’ve heard you have this same conversation with Ash for years, only you’re me in that scenario.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re always reminding her that she’s a public person and that there are fans out there or weirdos or whatever who don’t know how to set boundaries or respect them.”

“Ok, but I’m not famous. I don’t have fans...”

“You have at least one!” Whitney’s voice raised as she started to get frustrated with her friend. “This secret admirer is not normal Al. You know it too. I just don’t understand why you won’t do anything about it?”

“Whit, what do you want me to do?” the brunette was getting frustrated too. Whitney had been low-level badgering her about this secret admirer since the beginning of September, to no avail.

“I want you to go to the Cambridge police and report it. I want you to get them involved now so if he or she does do something to cross the line they’ll already know about it. I want you to take this seriously for all the same reasons you get mad at Ash – it’s not just about you. You’ve got the kids to think about too.”

It was a heavy and effective guilt trip and Whitney had taken a page right out of Ali’s own playbook to make her point. 

“Do you really think it’s something to be worried about?” Ali’s voice was softer, and more receptive than it had been so far during their conversation.

“I do” Whitney nodded solemnly. “Best case scenario – it’s nothing but a true fan with way too much time on their hands. Worst case – somebody like you or Ash or the kids, gets scared or...hurt...”

“Jesus Whitney, do you really think that’s a possibility? This person, whoever the hell he or she is, isn’t even brave enough to say hello to me. But you think they’re going to come and get one of us?”

“It’s called a worst-case scenario for a reason...”

“Well I think you’re overreacting.”

“I know about the picture of the museum” Whitney gave the stubborn brunette a challenging look.

The brunette had received a letter with a picture of the Gardner Museum and a magnet depicting a famous work of art that wasn’t part of the museum’s collection. It was one of the Impressionists’ landscapes and it was beautiful but it wasn’t specific to Ali. Whitney and Marcy had been taken aback by the Gardner picture but Ali had rationalized it away by pointing out to Marcy how often she had talked and posted about her favorite museum all over social media. She didn’t think it was a big deal.

“Are you reading my mail Mrs. Flanagan?”

“No I’m not, but the person who usually opens most of your mail is worried about this wacko too. Marcy came to me with the Gardner picture and Monet magnet the other day. She didn’t want me to tell you that she told me so please don’t rat me out.”

“Marcy’s worried about it too?” Ali frowned, surprised that her practical, level-headed right-hand woman at the office seemed to agree with Whitney.

“Al, anybody with a brain would be worried about this shit” the lawyer raised her voice for the first time in the conversation. “Your humility is blinding you here. This isn’t right and if you won’t go to the police about it Marcy and I will.”

“Just...slow down a minute” Ali frowned at the lawyer. 

“No Al, I won’t. If that doesn’t motivate you to go to the police then I’ll do you one better” she quirked her eyebrow at the brunette. “I’ll fill Ashlyn in on all of it.”

“Don’t do that” Ali reached for Whitney’s arm, shaking her head. “There’s no need to get her all worked up about this...”

“But there is! You just admitted it right there with that answer. You don’t want me to tell her about all of this because you know she’ll freak out because you know something’s not right about it!” Whitney was whisper-yelling and both women’s faces were getting red as they argued. 

“She’s got enough to worry about with all the crap she’s getting on her social media posts. I’m not adding to her stress because I have a secret admirer” she frowned angrily. “But...I’ll talk to the police. I’ll make a statement or file a complaint or whatever it is that they think I need to do.” She blew out a breath and rubbed her face. “Ok? I’ll handle it. There’s no need to freak Ash out.”

“Don’t you think the two things might be connected?”

Whitney took a few minutes and explained her theory, the same theory she had proposed to Ashlyn a month earlier during their beach day.

“Alright, maybe they could possibly be connected. I’ll mention it to the police too” Ali conceded as they finished up in the kitchen. 

“Mom-mmyyy!”

They were interrupted when the sliding door to the backyard opened and Lily came running through it in tears, burying her face in Ali’s crotch and wailing loudly. Ashlyn followed a few seconds later, out of breath from having run across the yard.

“Oh, you’re still in here” she looked relieved when she saw Ali comforting the girl.

“What happened?” the brunette asked as all three women winced a bit because of the decibel level of Lily’s wails.

“I didn’t see it but Nik says she took a direct kick from Dodge...”

“He kicked her?!” Ali’s spine straightened as her system flooded with anger.

“No! God no, I would have killed him myself. He kicked the soccer ball...”

“I can’t hear you” Ali rolled her eyes. “Shhhhh, baby girl, you’re ok now” she kissed Lily’s head as she continued rubbing her back.

“Oh! What did I win?” Sydney came through the sliding glass door next, loudly celebrating a victory. “I had miss thing” she nodded pointedly at Lily’s back as she addressed the 3 women in the room with a huge grin on her face.

“What are you talking about?” Ali scrunched her face up in confusion as she looked at her best friend who was high-fiving both Whitney and Ashlyn.

“That’s my cue to leave” Whitney laughed but then gave Ali one last serious look. “We’ll talk more tomorrow Al.”

“The pumpkin challenge” Sydney helpfully explained with another laugh. “This one picked Dodge” she laughed derisively at Whitney as the lawyer walked by on her way to the sliding glass door.

“Hey, he gets tired early and I thought it was a no-brainer” Whitney defended herself and gave Sydney a little push on her way by.

Ali squinted at her wife as the keeper knelt down to try and help comfort their now-whimpering daughter.

“You bet on which kid was going to turn into a pumpkin first?”

“Well, yeah, it was funny” Ashlyn shrugged. “You’re not mad are you?”

“Yeah, I’m ticked that you didn’t include me in it!”

“Are we...carving...pumpkins now?” Lily asked through gasping breaths and the few remaining tears on her cheeks. She looked so pathetic and overtired and completely done that both moms considered the idea for a fleeting second without confessing to the other. “I...wanna carve a...pumpkin” she sniffled, looked from one adoring maternal face to the other, and wiped some of the tears from her face with the back of her small hand. “Can I? Pretty please? With a pumpkin on top?”


	21. Logan

The Cane Corso dog breed was named from the Italian word ‘cane’ for dog and ‘corso’ derived from the latin word ‘cohors’ meaning protector. A Cane Corso was one of the best guard dogs you could get and was sometimes called an Italian Mastiff in the dog breeding world. They were big dogs, females up to 100 lbs and males between 110-120 lbs when full grown, but they were surprisingly even-tempered and calm for such a large animal. Cane Corsos were known for being trainable, reserved, stable, and quiet, despite their large size and sometimes imposing appearance. They were docile and affectionate to their owners, loving with children and family, and easily trained. They were an unequalled protector of their owners and their property. In short, they were everything Ali Krieger was looking for in a new dog for the big old house. She tried to focus on all of those great qualities and ignore the typical 8-10 year life span of the breed. When she thought about losing another dog it made her change her mind all over again about getting another fur baby for the family. But that was selfish. They all missed Fred, no-one more than poor Persey, and it was time to get another dog. Deb and Ken had both been right about it and the brunette couldn’t keep putting it off or waiting for a better time to do it. Surprising Ashlyn, and the rest of the family, with a dog for the keeper’s 44th birthday was as good a time as any and she wasn’t going to back down. At least she hoped she wasn’t.

Kyle Krieger’s beloved dog Luna had been a Cane Corso with her coat that appeared dark grey or even fawn colored sometimes, depending on the light that struck it. Nobody would ever really describe it as black, unless she was soaking wet – even then it was a dark brown, but it was hard to know exactly what color to ascribe to it. Some Cane Corsos were more fawn colored, also called ‘formentino’, some had a distinct blue hue to their coat, and some had brindled coats in all three colors – black, fawn and blue. Ali didn’t really care what color her puppy was, she just wanted it to be healthy and good with the kids. Luna had lived to be 12 years old, which was old for the breed. Ali hoped their new puppy would be just as long-lived but knew it was a long shot. The brunette had been giving hard thought to the idea of getting another dog since her mother had suggested Persey was suffering without Fred at the end of the summer. Truthfully, she’d been struggling with the idea ever since Fred had died in March. He had been 12 years old too. The conversation that had officially convinced her had been with her father after he and Vicki had stayed at the big old house while Ali and Ashlyn went to North Carolina in September.

“I know you’re not ready Princess, but you’re never going to be” Ken said softly as he hugged his daughter goodbye before he, Vicki and their dog Bandit left the big old house after their NC trip. “I wasn’t ready after Apollo either, but I can’t imagine not having Bandit now. I know Ashlyn got him for Koty but...” he shrugged as they separated, a small grin on his face.

“We all knew he would be your dog” Ali smiled back at her kind father. He looked more tired than usual but that’s what happened when you babysat the four young Krieger kids for three nights. “But you had more time between Apollo and Bandit, didn’t you?”

“A little bit, but not much. Maybe 10 months between them.”

It was clear to the brunette that her father had spent a lot of time thinking about it all for him to have the dates all worked out like that in his head. And Persey definitely seemed to be happier having Bandit around, it had been plain to see just in the few hours Ali had seen them together there at the house that afternoon.

“I just remember how hard it was for Kyle to train Peaches with the kids...” Ali shook her head as she thought about the trail of destruction the puppy had left behind everywhere she went that first year of her life.

“Listen, I love Sweet Paws, you know I do” Ken began, fixing his daughter with a serious look. “But if you’re really worried about that maybe you should look into a particular breed instead.”

“Kyle said the same thing” Ali sighed. “I don’t know if I can get a dog that’s not from a shelter though.”

“Only you know what’s best for your family Alex. I love Bandit to death and wouldn’t trade him for anything and I’m grateful to Sweet Paws every time I look at him. But if you’re worried about training the dog with all the kids around, I don’t know” he backed off. “I’m just saying, do what’s best for all of you. And you’re the only ones who know what that is. Nobody will judge you if you get a dog from a breeder this time.”

And there it was. The hidden issue that Ali hadn’t even realized she had been struggling with. Good old Dad shining the light where she didn’t know she needed it. She was afraid of looking like a hypocrite but her own father had absolved her and freed her from that guilt. That very night she started looking at getting a Cane Corso puppy for her family. It was an easy choice of breed to make for the brunette. Aside from all the great qualities of the breed, Cane Corsos had been in her mother’s family for generations. The Italian Mastiff had been a big part of the Scaglione side of Deb’s family and Ali and Kyle’s first family dog had been a Cane Corso when they were 5 and 6 years old, respectively. All of the family photos Ali and Kyle had seen when they visited their mother’s parents’ house included a big old Italian Mastiff somewhere in the background. Because they were just kids, they didn’t realize it wasn’t just a black lab or other common family dog that all of their friends were familiar with. ‘Buster’ had been the best dog ever and was largely responsible for both Ali and Kyle being such huge dog-lovers their whole lives. He died when he was 10 years old, which was also right about the same time that Deb and Ken got divorced. There was never another Krieger family dog after that. Which, looking back on it, might have been a good thing because Buster would have been a tough act to follow. Buster had been what made Kyle spend more money than he had ever spent on almost anything else to that point in his life, except for drugs and booze, when he bought Luna from the most reputable breeder in all of New England back in 2014. Even though Ali was already a big supporter of Sweet Paws, she was happy that Kyle had gotten a Cane Corso. It just seemed like the right thing to do. It felt good, for everybody.

“So why are you beating yourself up about it?” Kyle asked his sister during one of their frequent phone calls. Even when they were both busy, they made time to talk on the phone at least every other day. Sometimes they were quick, 10-minute chats, but they were actual calls and they mattered. This call was the first week of October, the week after Ali’s NC trip. “You donate tons of money to Sweet Paws. You’re probably personally responsible for placing at least 30 dogs for them over the years. So this one time, at this particular time in your life, you’re going to go to a breeder instead. What’s the big deal?”

“It just feels...wrong somehow.”

“Did you think it was wrong when I got Luna from a breeder?”

“No! Absolutely not” she shook her head, even though he couldn’t see her over the phone. “That was the best thing ever.”

“And did you judge Syd when she and Dom got Ziggy?”

“No, but they thought James was allergic, so they had to get a dog that didn’t shed, just in case” she defended her best friend even though nobody was really attacking her.

“So you would have judged her if they hadn’t specifically needed to get a golden doodle that didn’t shed?” he let his voice rise up high as his sister played right into his plan for that debate.

“No, I don’t know” she shook her head, starting to get frustrated with the whole thing. “Maybe I’ll just let Lily get the damned guinea pig she’s been asking for...” she muttered.

“No, sis, listen” Kyle giggled softly into the phone. “Don’t get mad. Just think about it. Syd had a reason. She chose to go to a breeder for the well-being of her family. Right?”

“Yes Kyle. I just said that.”

“Alright, so now if you get a Cane Corso instead of a shelter dog it will be because why?”

“Because I know them. They’re good dogs who are good with kids and train easily...”

“So it would be because of the well-being of your family is what you’re saying, basically?” he asked but made it sound more like a clarifying statement.

They were both quiet for several seconds and it killed Kyle to wait and let his sister take the time she needed. He knew he was right and he knew he had the winning argument, he just needed her to admit it too.

“Do you regret getting Peaches?” she asked in a tentative voice. “Do you wish you had gotten another Cane Corso?”

“Pfewww...” he blew out a breath that revealed how conflicted he was on the subject. “No. I don’t regret it. I love Peaches and getting her from Sweet Paws was the right thing to do and I’m glad we did it.”

“But...?”

“But she was a pain in the ass to train” he admitted what was not news to his sister. They had talked about it while it was happening. “I know a Cane Corso would have been easier to train. I know it. But it felt good to help the shelter out, to help Peaches out. I know it’s terrible and vain and it defeats the purpose of the good deed if you take so much pride in doing it in the first place” he spoke quickly, shame and guilt clouding his voice. “But I’m glad we got Peaches. I love that dog to pieces.”

“So there’s where I’m at too” Ali admitted glumly.

“No, no no. There’s a difference” Kyle quickly spoke up again.

“What could possibly be different between our two situations?”

“You have five kids and a whole mess of grandparents involved while you try to train whatever new puppy you get. I got to do it with just two kids and Nate. That was it. That’s a huge difference. Do you know how hard it’s going to be to deliver consistent commands and training to that new dog in your house?”

“Stop, you’re making my head hurt” Ali groaned.

“No, seriously sis, you need all the advantages you can get. Get the Cane Corso now. If you really feel guilty you can double your donation to Sweet Paws next year. But this one’s a no-brainer for me. Don’t torture yourself anymore about it. Just do it.” 

Ali contacted the same Cane Corso breeder that Kyle had used 15 years earlier for Luna that same day, after talking with him on the phone. Some breeders had long waitlists for people to buy one of their puppies. And most breeders screened prospective buyers to make sure the dogs were going to good homes with good people – not dirtbags who used the dogs for fighting or any other horrible, torturous activities. You typically couldn’t just call up a reputable breeder and go pick up a puppy the next day. It just didn’t work like that. That’s what pet stores were for, at least the few that were still in operation. Good riddance to the lot of them Ali thought to herself as she waited for the woman from the breeder to come back on the line.

“I’ve got the record right here” she breathed out heavily as she spoke into the phone again. “Luna Krieger. Yes. Mmmmhmmm...” she made affirmative noises as she read through the file they kept for all of the puppies they sold. Oh yes, Luna” the woman’s voice finally rang with recognition as she realized which dog they were actually talking about. “One of our most famous dogs.”

“Only the best dog ever” Ali added, unable to help herself. “God I miss her.”

The two women spoke at length about Ali’s situation, the family’s history with Fred and Persey, and what exactly brought the brunette to that particular breeder that day over the phone. When everything was said and done, and all the questions had been asked, the woman finally spoke again.

“We do have a puppy...”

“Oh my God, you do?!” it was impossible for Ali to contain her excitement. That was a sign right there and she knew it. All doubt about not getting a shelter dog this time immediately left the brunette’s body and she never beat herself up about it again.

“Yes” the woman chuckled, amused by the brunette’s enthusiasm. “But...” she hit the ‘but’ hard and paused for a few seconds afterwards before speaking again. “I’ll have to check your references and we’ll need to see the yard and the house...”

“I’ll get you whatever you need. My brother has more footage of my kids and dogs in our yard” she rolled her eyes at the thought but was so thankful for Kyle’s ever-present camera lens in their life at that moment.

“Well, if it all checks out, we have a puppy. A female. She has a slight defect in her gait and the original owner has chosen to wait for the next litter.”

“She’s lame?” Ali frowned, trying to understand.

“No, not at all. The original owner wanted to show her and she’ll never win any awards, no matter how great she is in every other way, because her one leg is a little bowed and it affects her gait – the way she walks.”

“But, she’s fine?”

“Yes, perfectly” the woman chuckled. “She’ll make a wonderful family pet. Only show judges and people in that arena would ever notice the slight difference.”

Two weeks later the breeder called Ali to tell her that everything had checked out and they would be happy to sell her a new Cane Corso puppy. The pup would be ready to pick up, 8 weeks old, the following week. That was a problem because Ashlyn would be in Chicago for the whole NWSL Championship Week and Ali was joining her for the second half of it this year as well. Ali made plans with the understanding breeder to pick up the puppy the following week instead.

Wednesday, October 24th, 5 days after her birthday, Ashlyn spoke sharply to the kids in the back of her Jeep, embarrassed to have to yell while on the phone with Meg.

“Knock it off!!” she yelled, glaring into the rearview mirror at Dodge and Lily who had managed to find a way to spar with each other even though Lily was in the third-row seat and Dodge was in the mid-row seat in front of her. “Lily if you touch your brother again you’re going into timeout as soon as we get home.”

“We’re home!” Josie said happily as she looked out the window from the other third-row seat. As much as she enjoyed school, she was always happy to be home. “Yay!”

“Listen Meg, I’ve gotta let you go kiddo. I’m sorry” Ashlyn apologized into the Bluetooth as she pulled into the driveway and slowed to a stop halfway up the driveway. She squinted through the windshield, not quite believing what she was seeing in front of her. “What the...?”

“Whose puppy is Mom playing with?” Drew asked as he opened the door behind Ashlyn and hopped out onto the driveway.

“No” Meg’s voice rang out. “Take me with you, you have to take me with you” her voice was full of excitement and she giggled like one of the little kids.

“Puppy? Who has a puppy?” Dodge snapped his head around, the idea of getting in one last jab at his twin flew right out of his head as he processed the new information.

“Move!!” Lily yelled as both Josie and Dodge tried to get out of the Jeep at the same time and clogged up the space between the two mid-row seats, leaving impatient Lily trapped in the third row.

“Hold on a sec while I disconnect the Bluetooth” Ashlyn spoke to Meg while lifting her phone to her ear, never taking her eyes off of Ali squatting in the driveway near the garage with an adorable brown puppy between her legs and a huge nose-crinkling grin on her face.

The brunette created her own protective space for the pup with her legs and arms to keep the kids at bay until Ashlyn could get there too. It wasn’t easy and she ended up on her butt with the puppy in her lap as all four little kids tried to get a feel of the soft dark-brown fur. The puppy had a tan brindled coat and beautiful light brown eyes with a narrow swath of a white stripe down her chest. Persey watched carefully from behind the chain link fence, sitting up with her tail and butt wagging slowly on the grass behind her.

“Meggie, you’ve gotta see this” Ashlyn smiled as she came up behind the kids, disconnecting her phone call and redialing a FaceTime call instead. “There you are. Look!” she turned her phone so Meg could see the cute puppy.

“Hey Meg” Ali grinned up into her wife’s phone, winking at her. “I’ve got you girl. You tell me what name you want me to write down and I’ll make sure yours gets just as good a chance as anybody else’s” she nodded at the teenager and winked again.

“Thanks Al” Meg grinned back. “I owe you.”

“Wait, what?” Ashlyn cocked her head, wondering if she was interpreting what she heard wrong.

“What do you mean what name, Mommy?” Josie asked, one hand on Ali’s shoulder and the other trying to touch the squirming puppy.

“Whose puppy is this?” Drew asked, his voice louder and firmer than all the others who were asking similar questions.

“What’s going on honey?” Ashlyn met the whiskey-colored eyes and got lost in them for just a second. They were practically shimmering with excitement. It was intoxicating for the keeper and she had to blink and refocus. “Seriously. What’s...”

“Happy Birthday babe” Ali spoke clearly and then laughed as she watched all the different faces in front of her trying to understand what the hell was happening.

“My birthday was on Friday and we celebrated in Chicago...” she cocked her head again, still holding the phone and Meg’s cute face in it.

“And I told you that we all had a special gift for you when we got home, didn’t I?” Ali laughed again.

“But...I don’t understand...”

“Is this Mama’s puppy?” Dodge asked, standing up with his hands on his hips and facing Ali, looking for some clarity for the whole group.

“Yes, big boy” Ali chuckled at his stance, and poked him in the belly before quickly bringing her hand back to the puppy to keep her from nipping at any small fingers. “This is Mama’s birthday present from all of us. Happy Birthday Mama!” all the kids joined in with a little prodding from Meg over the phone and Ali.

They sang a lovely version of Happy Birthday and then descended on the puppy again. 

“Hey Big D, can you take the phone so she can hold the puppy?” Meg’s voice cut through some of the clamor and Drew did as his step-sister asked, secretly loving being entrusted with such an important, grown-up responsibility.

“Come on Mama, come meet your new puppy” Ali encouraged, letting the pup amble away from her and into her wife’s long arms instead.

“Hi little sweetheart, hello there baby girl” she glanced quickly at Ali, “it’s a girl, right?”

“Yes, a 9-week old puppy girl” she grunted a little as she got up off the driveway and moved towards the gate by the kitchen. “Ready to meet your little sister Persey girl?”

Ali spent a minute loving up on Persey and letting her smell the puppy from her own hands and clothes before walking her over towards the boisterous group in the driveway. She put Persey’s leash on her, just in case, even though Persey had never once even tried to run away. If she ever got outside of the fenced yard she immediately tried to figure out how to get back inside. The only times she ever ran away were when she was following Fred’s lead. That dog used to take every chance he got to go exploring.

“I...I... think she likes her” Lily stammered excitedly as they all watched Persey sniff at the new puppy and wag her tail slowly. Ashlyn had the pup between her legs, much as Ali had before, and one hand scratching Persey’s neck and back at the same time, trying to show the old dog that she was just as loved as the new one. “See? Her tail’s wagging and her ears are up. I think she’s smiling too” Lily finished her deduction with some astute observations that were right on the money.

“Great job Lily” Ashlyn praised the girl. “Those are all signs of a dog that’s happy and friendly. You’re right.”

“Are we keeping the puppy?” Josie finally asked the question that all four of the young kids were wondering but too afraid of the answer to ask.

“Of course we’re keeping the puppy” Ali frowned. “Why would you ask that? Do you think I’d bring a puppy home for Mama’s birthday and then not let us keep it?”

“I don’t know” Josie shrugged.

“Yeah, we don’t know” Dodge added, seemingly coming to his sister’s defense.

“Yes. We’re keeping the puppy” Ashlyn clarified once and for all, speaking loudly and making sure everybody looked at her while she did so.

“Here, everybody get in there real quick” Ali instructed as she got her own phone out and took a quick video of the happy scene. “Make sure we can see Meg too Drew. Get Persey in it too” she nodded at Lily.

She sent the video to their friends and family, most of whom already knew about the surprise because Ali had been so excited as she drove back home with the new puppy that afternoon that she had made several calls to share the happy news. Then she posted the video to her social media, not caring what it would do to Ashlyn’s mentions. Her caption read: ‘Happy Belated Birthday Gift my love! #newaddition #allmyfavorites #happybirthdayashlyn #family’.

It wasn’t long before Ken and Vicki came over, bringing take-out dinner with them for the big occasion. Ali, being the coach of both Drew and Josie’s soccer teams that were supposed to have practice that evening, cancelled both practices so everybody could hang out together with the new puppy all afternoon and evening. They had to let Meg go soon after Ali had taken the group pic. The teen had a game that night and had to get to the team bus so she couldn’t dawdle, as much as she wanted to.

“What in the world are you thinking woman?” Ashlyn whispered as she hugged and kissed her wife hello after things finally started to settle down a little bit that afternoon. “We don’t have time for a new puppy right now. Are you sure about this?” she asked, but the ear to ear grin on her face belied her true feelings about it.

“Oh hush” Ali giggled softly and kissed her wife’s lips. “You love it and you know it. Yes, it’ll be a lot of work, but I’m up for it if you are” she tilted her head and waited for her keeper’s final word of approval.

“Are you kidding? I’m psyched! I’m so happy right now honey. Thank you!” she lifted Ali up off the ground and pecked her on the lips before putting her back down again.

They had agreed to wait until after dinner to name the puppy. They each needed a couple of hours to think up just the right name. They all took it seriously, except for Dodge. His best option was ‘fartface’ and he laughed out loud every time he said it. Ashlyn finally put her foot down and disallowed his entry, making the boy pout and sulk for a few minutes.

“Alright, let’s have the names, one at a time” Ali asked as she was ready to write them down on the small pieces of paper in front of her on the nook table. 

The kids were hopping all around the room after dinner while Ashlyn tried to keep the puppy out of the fray. She had plopped herself down in the middle of the hardwood floor in front of the big double-sided fireplace between the kitchen and the family room with Persey nearby as well. Ken and Vicki were perched in the corner of the nook table, not really wanting to move anyway. The show they were about to see was going to be too entertaining to take their eyes away from anyway and they both knew it. 

They were going to do what Kyle and his family had done when they named Peaches three Christmases earlier. Write the names on small pieces of paper that were folded up and placed on the floor. Then they would call the puppy in from another room and whichever piece of paper she picked up first was her name. It was undeniably fair but the moms spent a good deal of time preparing their kids for the disappointment that was sure to come for at least 3, if not more, of them.

“Frankfurt, we’ll call her Frankie” Ashlyn beamed. “I’ve been dying to name a dog after Frankfurt for so long now” she smiled at her wife.

“Who’s Frankfurt?” Drew asked with a bewildered look on his face, preoccupied with coming up with the best name on his own.

“Not a who, goofball” Ashlyn chuckled. “It’s a city in Germany where Mommy went to college for a year. We visited it when we went there together a few years ago...” she explained but was rudely interrupted by the other names from the kids being shouted out. The keeper just sighed and shook her head, unable to be truly upset at her kids for not listening to her answer. It wasn’t something she expected them to understand anyway.

“Fartface!” Dodge yelled again, laughing.

“Elise!” Josie offered, choosing the name she had thought was pretty from the sheet music for the piano solo she had learned the year before. Beethoven’s ‘Fur Elise’.

“Poppy” Lily nodded to herself, as if she was pleased with the answer she had just pulled from thin air. “Poppy, like the flower.”

“Meg wants me to write down Vero” Ali added as she quickly wrote them all down on their own piece of paper. Everybody knew Meg was infatuated with Vero Nixon, the 19-year old pop star and Lady Gaga’s protégé. Meg and half of the population under the age of 20 were obsessed with Vero, for good reason. She was talented and unique and she also happened to be the star of the promotional ads for Ashlyn’s clothing line. “So you’re all my witnesses” she held out the paper that clearly said ‘VERO’.

“I like Logan” Drew added after all of the hubbub from the others.

“Where’s that from?” Dodge asked with a scowl on his face. “Who’s Logan?”

“Great pitcher for the Red Sox right now” Ashlyn guessed her baseball-loving eldest son might have gotten it there.

“It’s Wolverine’s real name” Josie nodded approvingly. She was a Wonder Woman and Batwoman fan but she had always appreciated Wolverine too.

Drew smiled at his sister, surprised that she had gotten his reference so quickly. Drew himself was a Spiderman and Ironman dude but Wolverine had always been a close third. Peter and Tony couldn’t work as a girl’s name, but Logan could. There had been a Logan in the class ahead of his at school last year and she was a girl.

“I love Wolverine” Dodge’s eyes went big. It was true. Captain America was his first superhero love, but he had been starting down the path to Wolverine for the past few months and they all knew it. They were actually sort of dreading it. Instead of whipping things around the house frisbee-style, emulating Captain America’s shield, Dodge had begun pouncing on them all with his freakishly strong little fingers digging into their bare flesh and leaving red marks that lasted all damned day. “His real name is Logan?”

“How can you say you love him if you don’t even know his name?” Drew teased and laughed.

“I didn’t know it either” Lily laughed and spoke towards her twin, diffusing the situation as she so often did between her two brothers.

“Mama wants Frankfurt” Ali wrote, ignoring the kids debate for the moment. “I’m writing down Frankfurt for my choice too” she wrote the word on a second piece of paper, looked up and winked at her wife who smiled brightly back at her. “You sticking with Logan, Drew?”

“Yeah. I think it’s cool” he smiled.

“I wanna do Logan too” Dodge stepped close to Ali, tugging on her arm and making it impossible for her to keep writing. “Mommy, can I do Logan too?” he tugged again.

“Well your other choice didn’t count anyway so yes, you still get to put a name in. Is Logan your choice?” the brunette removed his hand from her arm with her other hand and looked at him carefully, making sure he understood.

“Yes! Logan! Awesome!” he did a turning jump away from his mother and segued it into a rolling tumble when he lost his balance and finished the whole maneuver off with a stylish hop back to his feet at the end. “Logan” he whispered to himself while Ali wrote his Logan down on its own piece of paper.

“Alright, we’ve got 2 Logans, 2 Frankfurts, 1 Elise, 1 Poppy, and 1 Vero. Are we ready?” the brunette smiled at her eager family, and then winked at her father and Vicki who had watched the whole scene unfold with lots of laughter and smiles from their seats at the nook table.

“I’ll take her into the mudroom” Ashlyn got up with the puppy in her arms and left the room. “You tell me when to let her go Al.”

The brunette took the 7 pieces of folded paper, roughly the size off her pinky finger once folded in half, and placed them on the floor in the kitchen. She spaced them evenly across the width of the narrow room, giving the puppy about 20 feet to run through before she got to them. They wanted it to be a fair deal. They didn’t want the pup to just run over one of them because it was the closest to her or she didn’t see it or anything like that. Everybody but Ashlyn gathered behind Ali in the kitchen and even Persey stood nearby, wondering what the hell was going on and why there wasn’t a ball involved in the new game.

“Now remember, no arguing about whatever she picks” Ali warned her children for the fourth time since the topic had come up that afternoon. “Whatever she picks is her name. Period, end of story. And we’re all using it, no matter what. Got it?” She waited for all four kids to nod their heads at her and then called for Ashlyn to let the puppy go.

“Come on puppy!”   
“Here baby girl, come here!”

They called out and whistled and patted the floor in front of them as they tried to get the new puppy to run to one of the pieces of paper for them. It was a frustratingly slow process as the pup took her sweet time smelling every inch of the floor from the mudroom to the fireplace before finally setting her snout down on a piece of paper and trying to eat it.

“That’s it, what’s it say?” Ashlyn scrambled to pull the paper out of the puppy’s mouth before it became illegible. 

The keeper struggled, pulling a finger out and yelping when the puppy bit down hard on it by mistake. In the time that she pulled her finger out, the pup had swallowed the paper whole, shaking her little head in the process and then yawning widely, almost as if to show everybody that it was really gone down her gullet.

“Oh no! What are we gonna do now?!?” Lily cried, her bottom lip starting to tremble.

“It’s ok guys, relax” Ali tried to soothe them. “We know what’s on the other pieces of paper and we can just figure out which one she ate? Right?”

“Oh yeah” Drew chuckled. 

The kids brought Ali the papers left behind and, after a quick survey of the words on them, Ali was able to introduce them all to the new puppy with her official name.

“Everybody, please welcome our newest member of the family, Logan!”

//

**********

10-6-29

I don’t even really like soccer but that was a pretty fun game to watch. Breakers won the playoff game and get to go try for the championship in Chicago in two weeks. Good for them. Good viewing too for me. Ali sat out in the seats for most of the game and I guess, really, I watched more of her than the actual game itself. But I knew what was going on. It was easy to follow along just by watching her beautiful face. God she’s gorgeous. How can she still be so fucking beautiful? We’re both 45 now and I don’t look like I did when we were together. How the hell does she keep getting more and more gorgeous? Fucking genetics. And she’s so hot when she’s coaching too. I don’t know what it is...but fuck me, she looks great out there, even surrounded by all the damned kids. I think it’s partly because she’s always smiling. That smile of hers...I could look at that forever and still want more. She’s great with the kids and I don’t know how she can be so patient. And she coaches 3 different teams! I have to be careful at the kids’ games too though. Fucking Ken and his new wife are always there too. Well, at least for part of the time. I always stick with Ali but I realized last week that they kind of have to spread out a bit more because the games are on different fields at the big huge soccer field in town. Anyway, Ali rocks the whole coach thing. For sure. She looks so good at 8:30am and I will never understand it. 

I’ve been working hard on my weight and exercising. It’s not easy with the schedule I’m keeping right now. Lol. But I feel like I’m getting somewhere. It’s all thanks to Ali too. She motivated me when nothing else has ever been able to. I’ll have to tell her that.

I wonder if she liked the magnet? I know the Gardner is her favorite museum. Well, it used to be anyway. Damn, I should have looked into that more. She’s posted about it before but I just assumed...fuck! How could I be so stupid?! Gotta work harder. Gotta dig deeper. What if she likes the MFA better now? Sloppy work. I’ll do better. I’ll do better for my queen.

 

10-19-29

It’s Ash’s birthday today and Ali’s with her in Chicago for the soccer championship crap. She left Wednesday and I miss her. It’s only been two days but it feels like forever. Fuck!! I love seeing her and watching her kick ass at so many different parts of her life. I hate these trips she takes. Why does she have to go to Chicago too? Can’t Ash take care of herself? Does Ali have to do EVERYTHING for her? Is she one of those idiot athletes who can’t balance a checkbook or pay a restaurant bill without their agent right there holding their hand? I bet she is. I just bet she’s as dumb as a post and Ali has to do everything. Good looking (alright, she’s gorgeous – I’ll give her that) but empty on the inside. Mush for brains. She’d have to be a fucking moron to cheat on Ali. I already have my answer and I don’t need anymore proof. Hey! Maybe that’s why Ali went to Chicago...she doesn’t trust Ash anymore and wants to keep tabs on her. I’ll bet that’s it. What a bitch Ash. How could you fuck this up? You had the dream woman and you fucking cheat on her? Absolute fucking moron.

Sigh...I just want my baby to come back home to me. I miss her so much. The championship game is tomorrow so hopefully she’ll be back on Sunday. I think three different grandmothers are trying to watch the kids while Ali’s away. Ha ha ha. That’s pretty funny. Deb looks good though. Still can’t get used to her white hair. I wonder if Ali will let her hair go white when it comes time? She could definitely pull it off. She can do anything with her hair or clothes though because her face is so beautiful and her smile is freaking perfect. She’s a goddess. Oh, yeah, I went to the house yesterday afternoon to see the kids come home from school and make sure Ali wasn’t really around. She posted that she was on her way to Chicago and I trust her...I don’t know, I just wanted to check I guess. Anyway, the other two grandmothers were Ash’s mom and her wife. Dodge was wild. Lol. He ran out of the house after dinner completely naked! Such a funny kid. I wonder if he’s soft in the head funny too? I never thought about that before. Hmmmm. He doesn’t go to a different school or anything. I’ll have to see if he’s in different classes than his sister or anything at school. They have special ed classes right in normal schools these days so it’s hard to tell. It wouldn’t surprise me though. Ash is technically his mom so he’s got all of her stupid genes. Ali doesn’t coach his soccer team either...hmmmm...I might be on to something here. Maybe he’s on a weaker team cuz he’s not good enough? That makes sense. Wow. They’ve hidden that little secret pretty well over the years haven’t they? 

I took a risk last week and I’ve been kind of beating myself up over it all week. I left Ali flowers at the house last Friday night. I wanted her to find them Saturday morning before her busy soccer day. Ash was already gone and I knew she’d have a tough weekend with all the kid stuff by herself and I just...I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to give her something to smile about. I was too chicken to leave a card though. I wish I had now though. She probably thought they were from Ash. Or that Ash had somebody do it for her cuz she’s out of town. Somehow I’m sure that bitch found a way to take credit for MY flowers. That’s kind of the perfect example of what I don’t like about her. It feels like she just gets away with anything. Like, she always comes out smelling like a rose or something. Other people do the hard work and the heavy lifting and the sweet flower giving and she gets the credit and reaps the rewards. Ali and me both being taken advantage of by Ash. Fucking bitch.

 

10-21-29

Yaaaaaaassssssssssss! My baby came home today. Oh everything just feels better when she’s back with me. It was only four days but it felt like fucking forever. She and Ash got back to the house at 2:30pm. They fly American Airlines usually and I was going to go hang out at the airport and wait – did I mention how much I missed Ali??? Ha ha ha. But I decided to just wait and go to the house instead. I couldn’t get into the garage across the street because they were having some stupid open house until 4pm. Fuckers. That made me so mad. But then I realized that I could just park on the street with all of the other cars there for the open house and it worked out pretty well. I had a good shot of the driveway and that side of the house. My garage spot is better because it’s higher up but the street worked ok. I almost died though. Ali came walking down the driveway after she’d been home for an hour or so. The little redheaded girl, Josie – I really have to start using their names more. I’d better learn them in case I meet them sometime. Anyway, Ali and Josie came walking down the driveway and I thought they were going to walk right over to me across the street!! I like, held my breath and everything for a minute. Dumb, I know. She was just getting the mail though. Ha! She has the best walk. She kind of swaggers a little bit. It’s hard to describe. She looked tired but relaxed at the same time. How does she do that? Oh...they probably fucked the whole time they were away from the kids. I forget that’s what parents do when they’re away from their kids. Whatever she did, she looked stunning. I could hear her voice, just a little bit. Josie asked her a question and she answered her as she watched the girl take the mail out of the mailbox. Then they walked back up the driveway and into the house again. She had on jeans and a loose sweater, it was dark purple and looked really soft. Her sneakers were just slipped on, not even tied or anything. She looked really cute. So many other people would just look so...basic. Not my Ali. She looks good all the time. 

 

10-24-29

Oh my fucking God. They got another dog. A puppy! I think they’re nuts but oh well. Lol. I’m not a big fan of dogs, pets in general, but dogs especially. I mean, if I wanted something with a one-track mind who was gonna slobber all over me I would have just kept dating guys. Lol! 

I got mad at my baby this morning though. She didn’t go to work, well, she went to work but only stayed for like, an hour. Then she left the building in different clothes! I was so confused and aggravated. I had parked my car and was on the bus bench...she changed into jeans and a sweatshirt and drove off! I thought about trying to follow her but I knew I had no chance without having my car right there. And it was about 4 blocks away so I just gave up. Man I was pissed. I wasn’t sure what to do so I finished writing the letter I was in the middle of and then just drove up to the house. It’s a Wednesday so I knew Ali would be home earlier than usual because she has practice with both Drew and Josie’s soccer teams, but I almost fell out of the garage perch across the street when Ali pulled into the driveway at 2:30pm. Ash had just left to go get the kids and I was gonna go check that out but I’m glad I was moving slow, ha ha ha. 

Ali went into the house and brought the other dog out into the backyard and played with her or him – I think it’s a girl dog but I don’t really care. Then she went to her minivan and pulled out the cutest, sleepiest little puppy I’ve ever seen in my LIFE! She started to play with the puppy in the driveway and she was talking to the dog and the puppy and it was the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life. The puppy must have been napping because it looked really sleepy still, at first. Then Ash came home with the kids and they all hung out in the driveway with the puppy for a while. 

I know now, thank you for posting Ali, that it’s a birthday present for Ash from Ali and the kids. Pretty fucking sweet, I have to admit. Hard to tell what kind of dog it is. I have no idea and I don’t think I care much either. Ha ha. It looks brown with tan splotches on it. That’s all I’ve got. Lol. Some dumb thing that Ash loves I’ll bet. Ali probably didn’t even want the dog but got roped into getting it for her highness. I wonder how many things like that happen to Ali? How much crap of Ash’s does she have to put up with? And what does Ash do for her in return? I didn’t see her getting Ali a cute dog that she loved for her birthday. She can’t even coach her own kids at soccer! She makes Ali do it! She’s the fucking ex pro soccer player!! Man that makes me mad. I think she just takes advantage of Ali. And Ali’s too damned nice. Fuck you Ash. You’d better appreciate what you’ve got you idiot. And I’m not talking about the fucking dog.


	22. Halloween Heroes

“Babe, where’s the blue stone?” Ali asked, anxiety in her voice, as she rushed breathless into the kitchen from the backstairs.

“Good morning to you too, sugarplum” Ashlyn cheesed as she turned to face the kitchen, leaning away from the sink where she was dumping out something gross from a left-overnight kid thermos bottle. She puckered her lips and waited with her eyes closed for her wife to kiss her good morning. After several seconds she opened her eyes to see Ali already past her and down near the fridge by the mudroom. “Hey, what gives?”

“Have you seen the blue stone or not?” Ali snapped as she closed the fridge door and walked into the family room towards the nook table where the kids were all eating their breakfast. “Here baby girl” she put the go-gurt tube in front of Lily after opening it for her and kissing the top of her head. “Good morning.”

She smiled and kissed all four kids good morning and then returned to a scowling Ashlyn in the kitchen.

“What’s up your butt this morning?” the keeper asked quietly, scowl still in place as she finished her gross task at the sink. “And I was getting to the yogurt.”

“Yeah, well, she’s been asking for it for the past 5 minutes. I could hear her all the way upstairs.”

“So the yogurt is what’s pissing you off today? Good to know” Ashlyn turned around again with a huff and muttered something under her breath that Ali couldn’t hear. ”Your protein shake is ready” she nodded at the counter by the stove where the blender had recently been used.

The brunette took a deep breath and blew it out, letting her shoulders slump and her eyes close. She waited for Ashlyn to face her again and when she didn’t, Ali walked up and hugged her from behind.

“I’m sorry” she said softly, pressing a kiss to her keeper’s back and squeezing her hips. “Thank you for the shake” she kissed her other shoulder blade and then moved towards the counter and the protein drink.

Ashlyn finished at the sink and, wordlessly, started to go back to the nook table and the kids.

“Wait, babe...”

The keeper paused by the double-sided fireplace and turned to her wife, Ashlyn’s face full of hurt feelings and suppressed anger.

“I’m sorry” Ali emphasized the sorry and gave Ashlyn the apologetic puppy dog eyes that usually worked so well.

“What’s going on?” Ashlyn’s face flashed impatient frustration as she kept her voice down.

“I can’t find the blue stone and I’m freaking out” the brunette admitted with a small pout.

Ashlyn recognized the anxiety around her wife’s eyes and knew this wasn’t just a silly thing to her. Ali was really upset about it and that had been why she had snapped and been so bitchy about the yogurt.

“The blue stone in Grandma Lilian’s jewelry box? Our blue stone?” the keeper clarified, stepping closer to her wife and trying to figure out why this was such a big deal.

“Yes, our blue stone. It’s not in the jewelry box and I can’t find it anywhere.”

“Mama! I want more cereal!” Dodge called out at full volume, banging his hand on the nook table for emphasis.

“Hey” Ali snapped right out of her nervousness and into mom-mode. She stepped into view of the nook and fixed her youngest son with a stern gaze. “How do you ask your mother for more of anything young man?”

“Sorry, geez” Dodge shrank back into the nook seat and looked genuinely apologetic, which was not always the case.

“She’s waiting...” Ali raised her eyebrows at the boy as the other kids watched.

“Mama can I please have more cereal?”

“That’s better” Ashlyn nodded without smiling. “Yes. I’ll be right there.”

The two women walked together into the pantry and then over to the nook table with the box of cereal for Dodge, talking as they went.

“Where did you last see it?”

“I used it...” Ali paused and looked down sheepishly. “At the end of July, I saw it in the jewelry box but I haven’t been paying attention since then.”

“Thank you Mama!” Dodge yelled as Ashlyn poured more cereal into his bowl.

“You’re welcome Dodger” Ashlyn couldn’t help but smile at her goofy boy. He didn’t need more milk yet because, unlike his other siblings, he liked a lot of milk in his first bowl. “Eat up you guys. We’ve gotta go up and get dressed in 5 minutes.”

Watching the kids gave Ali an idea and she was annoyed with herself for not thinking of it sooner.

“Have any of you seen the blue stone from the jewelry box on my dressing table?”

“Nope”  
“Nuh-uh”  
“No”

The kids replied back and Dodge just shook his head vehemently from side to side because his mouth was full of cereal.

“Nobody’s in any trouble if you borrowed it” Ashlyn tried her hand at it. It was a big no-no to take any of either mother’s jewelry without asking for permission first and they all knew it. Lily had ‘borrowed’ the blue stone before and all four young Kriegers had gotten an important understanding of how beloved that particular keepsake was to both Mommy and Mama. “We just want it back.”

“Come on guys, I really really need it today” Ali’s voice cracked at the end and got even more of her wife’s attention.

“There won’t be any punishment for whoever took it” the keeper’s voice was more urgent and strict this time. “But we need it back, right now.”

“I didn’t take it, I swear” Lily shook her head solemnly.

“Anybody? Please guys...” Ali practically begged.

“How about this” Ashlyn put her arm around her wife’s shoulders as they stood side by side, “when we go upstairs to get dressed, whoever has it just has to put it on our bed. No questions asked. We don’t even have to know who it was that ‘found’ it. And there’ll be no tattling” she shot Josie a stern glance. “How does that sound?”

No matter what Ashlyn said or did during the next 30 minutes, she could not locate the blue stone. She knew Ali had already looked hard for it before coming downstairs in the first place and both women were stumped by its disappearance. After getting the kids dressed and downstairs to put their shoes on in the mudroom, both Ali and Ashlyn found themselves back in the master bedroom for one last look. Ali walked in to find Ashlyn at the dressing table with all of the contents of the jewelry box spread out across it.

“It’s not there” the brunette’s shoulders fell as her voice trembled slightly.

“I know you looked, but I thought...hey, what’s this?” Ashlyn straightened up from her position hunched over the dressing table in the corner of the room nearest the bathroom. She held up a delicate gold necklace with a small cross hanging from it. “Who gave you this?” she looked at her wife as Ali approached her.

“I don’t know what that is” she shrugged and focused on the unfamiliar-looking gold cross. “Was it in the jewelry box?”

“Yeah” Ashlyn frowned and then, when she heard Josie yell at one of her siblings from downstairs, shook her head to regain focus on the task at hand. “Must be from one of the girls. Maybe one of their friends loaned it to them?” 

“Maybe” Ali replied absent-mindedly as she watched her keeper put the necklace back down on the dressing table and turn to face her.

“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on honey” Ashlyn’s hands were on Ali’s shoulders trying to give the brunette strength in case her words couldn’t do it, “but we’ll find the blue stone. I promise we’ll find it. I’ll tear this whole house apart if I have to...”

She stopped talking when she saw Ali’s face scrunch up and her eyes close as the brunette let one gasping sob out. Ashlyn expected tears to follow but wasn’t really surprised as she watched her wife fight them off.

“I’m sorry” Ali shook her head after a few seconds, hearing the same restless ruckus coming from their children downstairs. “We’ve gotta go” she took a deep breath, eyes still closed, and then another before steadying herself enough to meet her wife’s concerned gaze. “I’ll be ok.”

There wasn’t time then to have the conversation Ashlyn wanted to, but she made sure to bring it up later that night when they were finally alone after a busy evening getting all of the kids ready for Halloween the next day. The kids could wear their costume to school if they wanted to and as long as it wasn’t too cumbersome so that it interfered with their schoolwork. And there would be the annual trick or treating in the town of Gloucester as soon as it started to get dark outside too. Many towns had adopted the policies of moving the Halloween celebration, and trick or treating, to the closest Saturday, but Gloucester wasn’t one of them. Gloucester as well as the rest of the cities and towns that made up Cape Ann had decided to stick to celebrating on the actual night of October 31st. It had been voted on by the citizens and everything so most residents were happy. The pros to moving it to Saturday meant that there wasn’t school the next day. The cons were that, because there wasn’t school the next day, the shenanigans and tricks that the older kids invariably played would be even bigger and bolder. For the parents of young kids it meant a late Tuesday night that year and a rough Wednesday morning.

“I know it’s late my queen” Ashlyn stepped behind her wife in the bathroom and began massaging her tight shoulders as Ali went through the end of her nighttime routine, finally moisturizing her arms and hands after starting with her feet and moving up her body from there. “But I want to talk about this morning.”

“Oh honey” Ali sighed and gave her keeper a tired half-smile in the mirror. “Let’s just go to bed. It’s not a big deal. I was just being a baby about it.”

“Hey,” Ashlyn quirked her eyebrow, “it really upset you and I let it go this morning because...of our life in this crazy house” she chuckled softly and pressed a warm kiss to Ali’s neck. “But I’m not letting it go tonight. What’s going on Al?”

Ali thought back to their Tuesday evening and realized just how extra sweet and helpful her wonderful wife had been. Ashlyn had made dinner, not just for the kids, but for the moms as well. It wasn’t a special gourmet meal or anything and they didn’t actually get to eat it together, but it was delicious grilled chicken with salad and flavors the kids would never eat and Ali loved it. Ashlyn had taken all four kids up to Rockport for their weekly group music lesson in the afternoon, as usual, but then she had taken point on getting Dodge fed early once they were back at home so she could take him to his 5pm football practice while Ali handled dinner with the rest of the brood. Tuesdays, of course, were one of their busiest nights and getting ready for Halloween the next day put a definite strain on both moms. The fact that Ashlyn had taken time between 4:15 when she got home from the group music lesson and 4:45 when she had to leave to take Dodge to football practice to grill chicken for she and Ali to eat for dinner was huge. And Ali knew it. 

There had barely been time to express her gratitude though that night. As soon as Ali got home at 4:30pm she had to jump right into feeding the kids the dinner that Ashlyn had prepared for them before running out the door with Dodge. Then the brunette had to get herself and Josie ready for her 6pm soccer practice and bring a grumbling Drew and Lily with them. It would have been so much easier to leave them home to do their homework but they weren’t old enough for that yet. Drew was, but both moms were too nervous to leave Lily with him and it was just easier to pack them both up and drag them along to the soccer fields. Ashlyn stopped and picked up Drew and Lily after Dodge’s football practice and took them back home with her where they did their homework before excitedly trying on their Halloween costumes to make sure everything was perfect for the next day. When Ali and Josie finally made it home at 7:15pm, full-on Halloween excitement had overtaken the house. It was wonderful and crazy and a little overwhelming to walk into. But once the brunette let herself relax a little bit, and had a glass of wine to help in those efforts, she truly enjoyed the last hour with the kids and all their adorableness.

By the time she and Ashlyn had corrected any costume failings and gotten the kids showered and ready for bed, Ali was exhausted herself. When she went down the backstairs to start the daunting task of cleaning up the mess they had made that evening at every stage of the schedule, she was thrilled to find Ashlyn already halfway through the chore. They worked quickly and quietly together to put the house back in order and set out the extra special Halloween things for the next morning. Ashlyn sent her wife up to get ready for bed and took care of Persey and sweet puppy Logan who still needed lots of extra attention and time. The now 10-week old puppy had been a member of the Krieger family for exactly one week and it had been a whirlwind of crate-training, house-breaking, and socialization for the new pup. Ashlyn had curtailed her trips to the city for work so she could be home with Logan during that time and had been working hard on training the adorable pup too. Nothing hard-core yet. They would have to wait until she was about 3 months old and had all of her shots to take her to an official training class. But both Ashlyn and Ali were determined to get their new puppy trained despite the added difficulties of having 6 different humans in the house to confuse the poor pup. 

Back in the bathroom, late Tuesday night, Ali let out a soft sigh and leaned back into her wife’s strong body, letting Ashlyn wrap her arms around her and hug her tight. They held the position for a long minute as Ali decided how much superstition she was ready to admit to.

“Oh babe, it’s really not that big a deal” the brunette turned her head to the side, puckered her lips and waited for Ashlyn to give her a kiss. The keeper obliged and gave her another squeeze. “Mmmmm” Ali hummed into her wife’s lips.

“Ok, so then it won’t take long to talk about it” Ashlyn countered, her voice soft but insistent as they separated and she followed Ali’s body with her eyes.

The brunette stopped in the doorway and nodded.

“Alright. You get ready for bed and I’ll tell you.”

Ashlyn took a few minutes to wash her face and then eyed her pensive wife in the mirror as she dried herself off and reached for her toothbrush.

“Your silence is making me really nervous. I’m just gonna be honest with you because I’m tired too” she mumbled around the toothbrush in her mouth.

“Fine” Ali rolled her eyes and started to blush just the tiniest bit as she got ready to confess. “It’s just silly, really.” Ashlyn, for the first time that night, gave the brunette an exasperated look and Ali knew she was almost out of patience with her. “I...I take the blue stone with me when I go to get my ultrasounds” she admitted, embarrassed at how stupid the words sounded coming out of her mouth.

“What?” Ashlyn rinsed her mouth and turned to face her blushing brunette. “Since when?” 

“Since that second false-positive” Ali looked down at the tile floor and wished the conversation was over.

“Way back then?” Ashlyn frowned as she thought back to the first time Ali’s quarterly ultrasound had found something that needed another look. 

Ali had started getting 4 ultrasounds a year back in January of 2025. Her first real scare, not counting the times she had a single false-positive – those times were to be expected. But when the follow-up ultrasound still showed something shadowy and terrifying inside her body, that was the real scare. That was the scare that shook her to her core and caused her to shut even her loving wife out in an effort to maintain some kind of self-control. It had been April of 2027, 2-1/2 years ago, but it still felt like just yesterday whenever Ashlyn allowed herself to think about it. Kyle and Nathan had just gotten Peaches for Edgar and Cristina that Christmas, which was also the Christmas that Hannah and Dev split up. It was a couple of months before the USA was going to host the Women’s World Cup and before Whitney had given birth to her son, Tommy, at the end of June. Ali had confessed her worry, finally, to Sydney as they drove to NYC to celebrate Kyle’s 20th sober date in early May. 

“MmmHmmm” Ali nodded again and slowly lifted her eyes to meet Ashlyn’s. “I took it with me to the second follow up ultrasound and...well, it worked” she shrugged. “So I’ve been bringing it with me ever since. I didn’t realize how much I needed it until this morning...”

“Oh shit” Ashlyn’s face fell. “Fuck baby, I’m sorry. You had your ultrasound today and I totally spaced it. I’m so sorry...”

“It’s ok” Ali smiled softly at her upset wife. “We’ve got a lot going on” she met the blonde in a hug and they held the position for a few seconds. “It was a crazy day...”

“Yeah, but still” Ashlyn pulled back to face her beautiful brunette who was looking her most beautiful – stripped bare of any make-up at all and ready for sleep. “I should have realized...”

“Thank you for dinner” Ali interrupted with her own overdue gratitude. “That chicken was the best. I can’t believe you grilled and everything” she leaned in and gave Ashlyn a sweet kiss, smiling into it.

“Baby, seriously” Ashlyn protested the kudos and praise she was receiving and which she felt she didn’t deserve. “I’m so sorry” she held Ali’s face in both hands and looked earnestly into her favorite amber-colored eyes. “I’m sorry I forgot about your appointment. And I’m sorry I couldn’t find the blue stone for you. But I promise – I won’t stop looking until I do. You have my word...”

“It’s ok” Ali tried to reassure her but was having a hard time hiding her real disappointment.

That blue stone meant the world to Ali. And because it meant so much to her wife, it meant the world to Ashlyn as well. It had been irreplaceable when she found it during her very first visit to Satellite Beach 14 years earlier. The keeper had no idea that it had taken on even more meaning and importance in the brunette’s life. It had become a good-luck charm for Ali as well as a symbol of her keeper and the place that had shaped her into the woman of her dreams. Ali was crushed that it was missing and would conduct her own thorough search for it when they had more time. It was hard to describe how empty she felt without it. She knew it was ridiculous. How long had it been missing? She hadn’t felt empty then, had she? No, it wasn’t until this morning when she had looked for it that she had felt its absence so deeply. Silly superstitions. 

“No honey, it’s not. We’ll find it. Come here” Ashlyn pulled her wife tighter and held her close for a few minutes. “I’m sorry your day was hard and scary and stressful” she spoke quietly, her chin still on Ali’s shoulder. “But it’s over now. You did it. And just think...tomorrow is Halloween and you get to dress up even though you’re already braver and stronger than any superhero ever could be.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me” the brunette chuckled from inside the hug, still not looking forward to donning a Halloween costume for the first time in several years. “I love you” she pecked her wife’s cheek. “Let’s go to bed before we fall asleep standing up.”

//

Halloween had definitely evolved over the years at the big old house. Ashlyn had always been game for dressing up and going out trick or treating with the kids or staying behind at the house to dole out the candy for the trick or treaters in the neighborhood. But Ali, always more shy and reserved than her outgoing wife, had successfully avoided doing the dress-up thing. Sometimes it was intentional on her part but more often it was simply because she was the one getting home late from work and not really having time to participate as fully as Ashlyn. She still went out with the kids and then switched off with Ashlyn and greeted trick or treaters at the door, but she did it sans costume. Not dressing up did not bother the brunette in the least. She would have been perfectly happy to have never done it again. But still, after 10 years of parenthood, she found it difficult to say no to her children when it came to fun requests like wearing a costume for Halloween.

For the kids’ part, they simply never realized it was an option to have both of their mothers wear costumes with them on Halloween. It just never occurred to them to even ask. It had been Kyle who had unknowingly forced the issue during one of the online gaming times the two families shared a couple of times a week. Drew and Edgar, only 8 months different in age, went online from their own homes and played video games together two or three times a week. When this happened, they usually took their headphones off and let the whole room share the experience because aunts and uncles and cousins were often watching and participating in the banter as well. It had been during one of these times over the summer that the topic of superheroes and costumes had come up. Kyle and Edgar, from NYC, were chatting with Drew, Lily and Ashlyn, in the basement of the big old house, and Kyle made the ground-breaking suggestion that they should all dress up as superheroes for Halloween that year. They spent the next half hour or so talking about who would be which superhero while Edgar and Drew slayed evildoers in their video game.

“Nah, Mom will never go for it” Drew shook his head.

“What?” Kyle clucked and then laughed. “She most certainly will. Your mother was famous for getting dressed up in great costumes and making sure every little detail was right before going out for Halloween.”

“When she was a little girl though” Lily chimed in with her own small laugh.

“She does the same thing for you guys now though” Ashlyn countered as she helped Lily extricate her long hair from Logan’s tiny but razor-sharp teeth. “Who do you think gets all the details right on your costumes for you every year?” she quirked her eyebrow at Lily who was watching her carefully.

“But she would never dress up with us like you do sometimes” she shook her blonde head, making a statement and asking a question at the same time.

“Wait, has she not dressed up for Halloween with the kids yet?” Kyle’s voice was incredulous as it filled the room through the television speakers.

“I’m sure she has” Ashlyn scoffed without really considering her answer.

“No she hasn’t” Drew shook his head without taking his eyes off of the tv. “Never.”

“Really?” Ashlyn thought harder, sure she could come up with a time her wife had joined in the costume fun.

“Nope. Never” Drew gave the definitive answer.

“Well, this year’s the year then my little chickadees” Kyle laughed. “I’m sure she’ll pick Rogue...”

“Yeah, that’s her favorite” Drew agreed with another nod. “Come on Edgar! You let that zombie kill me!”

“Sorry!” Edgar’s voice came through the speakers. “I ran out of ammo and all I have is a pistol.”

“Drew, you should have waited to see if that room was clear before running into it like that” Ashlyn came to Edgar’s defense. She always stuck up for whomever she felt was getting blamed for something that wasn’t their fault. It didn’t matter whose kid it was. “You’re smarter than that.”

“He’s all excited about our fabulous Halloween costume idea!” Kyle cackled. “Can’t blame him. So am I!”

Ali did indeed dress up as Rogue, one of the X-Men and a human mutant like most of the rest of them. It had taken some cajoling at first but once she decided to do it she had embraced the idea wholeheartedly. Her theory was that it might never happen again in their lives – this unique time when all four young kids wanted their moms to participate with them. They both knew that Drew was probably already past the point of caring much about what his moms did on Halloween, as long as they didn’t embarrass him. But even their challenging 10-year old son seemed to want this to happen. And so it did. They even got Meg to participate from DC, Facetiming with her before she went to a Halloween party dressed as a kick-ass Batwoman. It was perfect really, her dark red hair finally aiding her attempt instead of hindering it.

“Megatron, you look awesome girl!” Ashlyn enthused when she got a look at her step-daughter’s costume. 

“Show them the whole thing” they all heard Hannah’s voice off-camera and then watched as Meg did a full 360 degree turn for them to showcase her cape and utility belt and amazing red boots.

“Alright, let’s see you guys” Meg laughed self-consciously when she was done. “Let’s go. Where’s my Wonder Woman?”

Ashlyn wheeled around to find Josie who had finally grown enough to require a new Wonder Woman costume since the last time she had worn it four years earlier when she was only 4 years old. The youngest redhead had her mouth open, gaping at the Batwoman costume on her big sister.

“Give Meggie a twirl Jose” Ali encouraged from off-camera, smiling at her daughter and understanding what had just happened. Josie had always looked at both Meg and Hannah with awe and wonder. After any visits from them, the younger girl would emulate their mannerisms and copy things that they said and did during the visit. It wasn’t hard to figure out. “Show her your lasso of truth. She’ll love that.”

Meg made all the right comments for all of the younger kids, each dressed as their favorite superhero. Drew was Ironman. Josie was Wonder Woman. Dodge was Captain America. Lily was Supergirl. Ethan Machado was joining them again, as he had every year since he had known the Kriegers. What had started as a stop-gap effort to fill an emptiness in the young boy’s life without his mother had turned into a tradition that nobody felt like stopping. Sam and Lisa wouldn’t deny the boy his special night with the Kriegers. Ethan was dressed as Wolverine which was best for everybody because both Drew and Dodge were ready to fight to the death over the costume and neither of them really loved Wolverine as much as their favorite superhero anyway. Fresh off of the naming the new puppy Logan, after Wolverine, the costume had been a hot commodity. They were a good-looking group and Meg let them all know it.

“And you two too” she chuckled. “I wanna see the moms now. Come on, give the phone to Vivi and let me see” Meg instructed.

Ken and Vicki were there for moral support and to help out on the busy night. If for no other reason than to help keep Logan from losing her tiny little mind with all of the commotion filling the house.

“Wow. Grandpa, you have to get lots of pictures. I need lots of pics, please” she giggled as she got a look at Ali in her Rogue costume and Ashlyn in her Black Widow outfit. “You guys both look amazing” Meg finally praised her step-mothers. “Really, awesome job.”

“Nice work balancing the kid-stuff and the ah...adult stuff” Hannah added her two cents worth as she looked over Meg’s shoulder. 

“What costume are you wearing?” Josie’s voice perked right up, realizing that Hannah was there and that another of her favorite redheads might have an awesome costume on too.

“Oh, honey, I’m not dressing up tonight” Hannah chuckled.

“There’s always next year Han” Ashlyn teased, feeling a little silly dressed in a black leather outfit with a dual pistol holster strapped to each of her thighs. 

She and Ali had both struggled with how to pull off the sexy costumes that most of the female superheroes wore, in the world of their young children. Thankfully they were both in great shape and could pull off the bodysuit style outfits with ease. But just because they could, did that mean that they should? They had both toned down the sexiness of the outfits as best they could. It was also cold on the last night of October in New England so they were both thankful for the full body coverage both costumes afforded them. Ali had gone to the lengths of using temporary dye in her hair to get Rogue’s signature white streaks on either side of her face. The moms looked great but not so great that other parents who had also dressed up would feel grossly outclassed. They had to live in this neighborhood after all. There was no sense making anybody feel bad because they couldn’t, or didn’t want to, rock a bodysuit.

“Are you coming here for Halloween next year?!” Dodge asked excitedly, getting the other kids who hadn’t been paying as much attention riled up too.

“No buddy, I’m just joking with her” Ashlyn chuckled again. “You look great Meg” she winked into her phone. “Have a great time at your party. We’ve gotta get going because I’m melting in this outfit” she laughed. “I need some air!”

True to his word, Ken took several photos that night of all of the kids and both moms and even the three dogs holding down the fort at the big old house. Bandit, Persey and Logan all barked each time the doorbell rang and then watched eagerly from the gate between the front living room and the mudroom as Ashlyn or Ali answered the door. Well, Logan didn’t quite have her bark down yet but she gave it her best try. The two moms did what they had done every year and took turns trick or treating with the kids. Vicki and Ken went with whichever mom and left the other mom home with the dogs. And, as was also the case every year up to that point, Ashlyn went back out later with Drew and Ethan after the younger kids had pooped out. They shared one last Facetime with the NYC Kriegers before Black Widow went back out with Wolverine and Ironman and Kyle carried on and on about how awesome everybody looked. He, of course, had already seen his sister’s costume because she had called him several times about her reservations wearing the bodysuit for such a family-themed event.

“Sis, you look perfect! Just perfect!” he enthused that Halloween night. “I told you that dye would work great. Your hair looks amazing! Rogue would be so proud.”

“Thanks BB” she grinned into the small screen as she started to take the costume off. “I’m sweating my butt off though” she giggled as she dropped Rogue’s jacket onto the couch behind her. “You look amazing too” she grinned at her brother and his family. “Cristina you are the most awesome looking Storm I’ve ever seen. Did you have fun honey?”

Kyle had dressed as Professor X, complete with a bald wig and everything. His two favorite superheroes were Rogue and Storm and he had them tattooed on his right arm as part of his sleeve. But his two favorite girls were already going as Rogue and Storm and he didn’t want to steal their thunder, so he had settled for the man who founded the X-men. He decided to overlook the fact that Professor X was in a wheelchair and just go with his own modified version. It was always Professor X’s brain that inspired Kyle anyway. Nathan opted for the Flash and was about as shy as Ali when it came to doing things like this. Edgar was Wolverine, which was the result of a minor glitch in communication between the families. Kyle hadn’t factored Ethan Machado into the equation and neither Ashlyn nor Ali had thought to tell him about the boy’s inclusion. It wasn’t a big deal because they weren’t actually trick or treating together. 

After all of the Facetiming was done and the candy was bartered and traded and Ethan had been picked up and everyone was settled into their own beds for the night, Ken and Vicki took Bandit home with full hearts and smiles permanently etched onto their faces. Ali and Ashlyn collapsed into bed with the last ounce of energy in their bodies.

“Do you think Drew will be ok? He ate so much candy, I’m worried about his belly” Ashlyn spoke to the ceiling with her eyes closed as she lay on her back, too tired to even try to cuddle with her wife.

“I think he’ll be ok” Ali replied, her voice already sounding sleepy. She was also flat on her back and unable to make herself roll over towards her keeper. “He drank a lot of water. I made sure he did. That always helps.”

“Ok good” the keeper felt her body relax a bit more with that assurance from her wife.

“Did you take the puppy out?” Ali’s eyes opened as a jolt of panic shot through her body.

“Yeah, she’s good. She’s zonked out in her crate” Ashlyn nodded imperceptibly towards the dog crate near the foot of the bed and her closet. It was the same place the other dog crates had occupied years earlier before they graduated to sleeping with the kids. “She didn’t get much sleep during the trick or treating so she’s wiped.”

“Oh thank God” Ali exhaled loudly and managed a soft chuckle. “You’re my hero. For things like that” the brunette reached over under the covers and patted her wife’s hip with the back of her hand, waiting for her to offer her hand to her and taking it with a squeeze when Ashlyn finally did. “And nights like tonight and last night...you’re my superhero babe. I love you.”

 

**********

10-28-29

The Breakers parade today was pretty cool, I have to say. When I got season tickets and started this whole soccer fan thing I didn’t really expect to enjoy it very much. I went because Ali was there and that was it. But even I can appreciate winning a championship. That’s the kind of thing that even non-sports people get. Lol. Ash was on one of the floats, of course. I don’t get why she’s still so popular. She doesn’t even play anymore. I can see why the little girls and even big girls, ha ha ha, follow the players and get hooked on them and stuff. But why Ash? I don’t know. The Breakers had the parade through the city and then ended with a big rally at the stadium. Ali and the kids and everybody were there in their suite. She looked so good. When do I ever write anything other than that? Lol But it’s true. She’s just so fucking perfect. One of the players on the team is a mom and her kid was out there running around and Ash waved up at Ali and had her bring their kids down to the field too. Syd’s kids tried to go too and that was pretty funny. But then her husband, who I just found out was a trainer for both the men’s and women’s teams, had her bring them down too. It turned into a kidfest with all the coaches having their kids join in. I watched Ali the whole time. She’s all I can see sometimes. It’s a blessing. Fuck. I keep forgetting I left my cross for her. Every time I go to rub it I remember it’s not there and it makes me...what? I’m not sure. Not mad. But kind of upset. I feel a little naked without it. I miss it. I wish I hadn’t given it to her. She won’t know it’s from me. I could have given her something, anything else. I was stupid for being so unprepared that day. I’ve been too afraid to go back in the house again. I want to. I really really want to. I want to sit at that dressing table with all of her things. At least I’m assuming it’s hers. Ha. I just don’t see Ash sitting at that table very much. I’ll get Ali something else and leave it and take my cross back. That’s the next big thing. I really miss it. I need it.

 

10-31-29

Well that was some cute shit and I don’t even like kids very much. The most important thing is that Ali dressed up as fucking Rogue from the X-men! I wonder if she dresses up like that every year. Man, that would be amazing. She looked incredible. That costume looked better on her than it ever did on any of the chicks in the movies. She dyed her hair too! Those silvery streaks just like Rogue. So fucking cool. I loved her with all my heart already, but now that I know she fucking dresses up as awesome superheroes for Halloween – I might just explode! Ha ha ha! Ash went as Black Widow. Ugh how predictable. She pulled it off, but she didn’t look nearly as good as Ali did. Ali looked like she could have stepped right off of a movie set. Shit she looked good. I can’t even tell you what the kids wore because I couldn’t take my eyes off of her the whole time she was out there. I parked on the street across from the house, by the ‘for sale’ house, and I had a good view of most of the neighborhood. There weren’t enough kids out for me to feel safe walking around, but I got a good look with my camera lens. And I could see a lot of her when she went back into the house to answer the door halfway through. They switched off. Once they were done trick or treating I went into the treehouse and watched through the windows of that side room where they eat. Ali’s dad and his new wife were there too. She looks like a bitch. Like a fake bitch I mean. Like Janice. I hate those fake fucking bitches.

The best part of the night was after they left. Ali and Ash were walking around the house – what the hell are they doing when they’re doing that? Lol Why don’t they just sit down and watch a movie or something? Lol Anyway, they were cleaning up I guess and they both ended up in that side room by the table and they were still kind of in their costumes – they took their jackets off and Ali put her hair up and Ash took her holsters off, stuff like that. They hugged right in front of the window by that table. For once Ali was the one I could see the most of – thank you Jesus! They hugged and then kissed a little bit. Right when I was getting a good look at Ali’s butt, Ash put her stupid hands all over it. Fucking bitch. Ruined even that for me. 

But now that I’m back in my own room I can try and go back there in my mind and do it over again. I swear to God she gets me so hot. My shrink always says not to go back to that part of my past. He says it’s too much for me to handle. Ha. What the fuck does he know? For all these years I’ve listened to him and taken his advice and his stupid fucking pills. And what has it gotten me??? Fat. And miserable. For the first time in years I feel like I’m alive again. Yeah it’s scary sometimes. I really wish I had my cross back. I’m working on that. But being with Ali like this again – it feels so good. It feels right. I know how stupid that sounds. But it’s the best way I can describe it. I’ve worked so hard all these years to NOT think about her and for what? To be unhappy and alone? Edward and Janice think I’m doing great. They’re happy that I’m out more and doing more things and making friends. And I wanna kill myself for saying this, but they’re right! My stupid shrink says it’s a mistake to think about Ali and I know he’s wrong. He has no fucking clue just how wrong he is. I’m on cloud fucking 9 right now. These are the best 6 months of my life – well, not including when I was actually with Ali. Before I fucked it all up. God I was so fucking clueless. I was such a coward. She tried to tell me there was nothing wrong with what we were doing, with our love. She tried so hard to get me to see that but I wasn’t brave enough. I was such a chicken. Such a baby. When I think about what I gave up...fuck I get so angry. I get absolutely furious. How could I have ever let her go?? God! What I wouldn’t give to have another chance with her. I’d give anything for that. Anything. Everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick to my stomach after watching that Pride game vs Sky Blue. Pathetic showing. That game was all about the character within the players on both teams. I can't honestly say I'm surprised by the outcome. I predicted it but I was really hoping I would be wrong.


	23. Escalation

Ali kept her word and went to talk to the Cambridge Police the week after she and Whitney had argued in early October. She put it off for a couple of days but when the concerned lawyer stood in her office with her phone in her hand, finger hovering over Ashlyn’s number, Ali got up from her desk.

“Alright, let’s go” she said to a surprised Whitney. “What? You may as well come too. It’ll save me from having to tell you every single thing they say all over again when I get back.”

It took about an hour for someone to see them at the busy Cambridge Police headquarters in Central Square and the two women used the time conducting business from their phones as they sat on the hard, plastic benches in the waiting area. They had spoken with an officer when they arrived and been instructed to fill out a complaint form, which Ali had done, offering it to Whitney for additions or corrections before turning it back in.

“Krieger?” a middle-aged man’s voice finally called out. “Alexandra Krieger?” The officer smiled gruffly when he saw the two women stand up. “Right this way” he motioned for them to follow him into a small room off of the same hallway they had been watching people from all different walks of life come and go during the past hour. “I’ve read your complaint and I wanted to go over a few things and ask you some questions.”

They talked for about 45 minutes and basically read through the entire complaint with Officer Clemenzi making notes along the way. He asked questions to clarify what Ali had written down and then he asked questions she hadn’t even thought about before.

“Do you have any enemies that you’re aware of? Is there anybody in particular who might have a vendetta against you or want to see you come to some...harm?”

“What?”  
“Are you serious?”

Both women replied simultaneously.

“I know it sounds alarming and I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about. But these are routine questions we have to ask, just in case” he tried to reassure them after terrifying them with the question in the first place.

“Well, no” Ali shrugged. “I don’t think so” she concentrated as hard as she could. “I mean, I’ve hired and fired people for over ten years now. I’m sure there are a few people out there who don’t like me very much.”

“But that was all regular work-related interactions?” he clarified further. “Nothing...out of the ordinary?”

“What about Paula?” Whitney asked, her eyes wide at the thought.

“Who?” Ali furrowed her brow as she looked at her friend. “Oh, yeah, I mean I guess. But she’s off doing her own thing now” the brunette referenced the former intern who had started her own, small-scale agency out on the West Coast after encountering some trouble with a powerful NBA owner several years after leaving Knight-Harris. She had proven to be the hero of that story and had eventually landed on her feet after taking a ton of unwarranted and unsavory flack from most of the sports media world. Paula had kept her profile low for about a year after that and then forged her own path. As far as anybody at K-H could tell, her small agency was doing well with mostly small-time athletes – which was exactly the way K-H had started. “Do you really think she’s writing me letters and sending me gifts from the post office down the street?” Ali chuckled and then cleared her throat when she saw the serious look on the officer’s face.

“Who is Paula?”

They spent ten minutes going over the Paula Curdo, intern from hell, story with Ali reiterating that she didn’t believe for a second that Paula was behind this. Officer Clemenzi continued to make notes and then asked another question that gave both women pause.

“And have these incidents been limited to your place of business? This individual hasn’t bothered you at your home or anyplace else?”

Whitney turned to look at Ali who just swallowed hard as the frightening new possibilities started to fill her brain. The brunette could hear the lawyer’s words from the four-family gathering days earlier screaming inside her skull. Nobody said anything for a full minute.

“Mrs. Krieger?” the officer prodded, pen ready to write down anything new Ali had to offer.

“Umm, no...I don’t think so” she finally replied. Her words heavy and slow as her mind spun.

“But how would we know that?” Whitney asked, leaning forward as if getting closer to the officer would help her understand his answer better. “We don’t know where this...individual spends their time. They could be anywhere.”

“I don’t want to alarm you but we’ve found in other cases like this that the behavior is frequently not limited to the one location. Sometimes it is” he paused. “But usually it’s not.”

“That’s who asked that question at the fundraiser” Ali’s voice was quiet and her eyes wide as she spoke. Her eyes were focused on the table between she and the officer as she tried to concentrate. “That weird question at the end of the Newlywed Game” she turned to Whitney.

“Do you think?” Whitney asked, trying to remember exactly what had been asked.

“I do” Ali nodded. “There have been other poems and that book of poetry too...”

“Oh yeah, the question about reading poetry in bed. Seems like it might be a theme or something. Poetry, I mean.”

They spent another 10 minutes telling the officer about the Newlywed Game fundraiser event and the odd question that had ended the Q&A session that night in early May. When they were done brainstorming about everything the secret admirer had sent to Ali, the brunette was struck by how long the list actually was. 

“Wow, I didn’t realize there were this many things” Ali ran her eyes down the amended list that she had started on her own when she filled out the complaint and had then been added to, substantially, during their talk with the officer.

“I feel like we got them all though, don’t you?” Whitney was trying to be helpful and thorough because she could tell Ali was starting to freak out a little bit. Hell, they both were. “Al?”

“Um, yeah, I think this is everything.”

//

“10 times?! 10 times this...this...person has sent you gifts?!” Ashlyn was pacing back and forth in Whitney’s office later that same day. Her face was a strange mixture of fury and terror and neither Ali nor Whitney had tried to interrupt her rant for the first few minutes after they told her about their visit to the Cambridge Police. “I thought it was just a couple, but 10! Jesus fucking Christ Ali! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“It’s only 5 gifts, not counting the flowers, although we’re not really sure about the flowers – those could have been from anyone because we didn’t save the card...we get flowers delivered for one reason or another all the time at the office...” Ali tried to qualify.

“Ash, listen, we’re all upset” Whitney jumped in when she saw the keeper turn on her heel to face Ali with a furious look on her face. “The 10 things includes 4 letters that were really just like fan mail. Just like what you and I used to get when we played for the Breakers. Well, like you used to get anyway” she chuckled, hoping to lighten the mood.

“One of those 4 was a birthday card” Ali quickly added. “Just a plain old birthday card.”

“Oh, ok, so I’m supposed to feel soooooo much better now that it’s only, what was it?” she cocked her head fiercely at first Whitney and then Ali, “5 or 6 stalker gifts?!”

“Babe, just listen for a minute...”

“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down. When you joked about this back on vacation up at the lake I let it go because you both told me it was no big deal...”

“Well at the end of August it didn’t seem like a big deal” Whitney defended them both. “Now, 6 weeks later, things are different” she replied flatly. It was her ‘don’t come at me’ voice and Ashlyn recognized it.

They were all quiet for a couple of minutes, each woman trying to center herself and regain some composure. Ashlyn stayed on her feet while Whitney sat behind her desk and Ali sat in one of the chairs across from her. Finally, the keeper spoke again, looking directly into her wife’s eyes.

“You told me there was nothing to worry about. I asked you. I specifically asked you if those letters were romantic or if I needed to be worried about anything” she half accused-half pleaded.

“I remember” Ali nodded. She had already spent time thinking back to that night in the rental house on the lake in NH when she and Ashlyn had talked about the secret admirer. Ashlyn had taken all the jokes about it in stride when they had been sitting with their friends. But when it had been just the two of them in bed that night she had asked the brunette some pointed questions about it. “And I was honest with you then Ash. Just like I’m being honest with you now. But Whit’s right. Things are different now. Things have...escalated” she used the word Officer Clemenzi had said several times.

Ashlyn groaned and then sat in the chair next to Ali’s. She looked stressed out and worried but she set her jaw and finally appeared to be ready to be a part of the solution after venting her frustrations and fears all over her wife and best friend.

“So what did the cops say? Do we need a restraining order or something? Do you need a bodyguard?” she asked looking from Ali to Whitney and back again.

“No, no” Ali shook her head and stifled a giggle. 

It wasn’t funny and she knew it wasn’t funny and she knew if she laughed now Ashlyn would be even more furious with her than she had been to start with. Poor Ashlyn. She had been at the Mental Health Initiative all morning because it was October 10th – World Mental Health Day. The MHI operated all year long but there were a few times a year where they worked in overdrive. There was Suicide prevention day and week, centered around September 10th. There was Mental Health Awareness month in May every year. Additionally, they were always busier and more proactive around the big holidays when so many people struggled more than usual. That morning Ashlyn had taped a number of spots that would be broadcast and shown across multiple media outlets and avenues all day long. Then she had participated in a group interview with Taylor Gervasio, director of the MHI, and a couple of other members of the MHI team. It was aired on one of the local news channels at 12pm and then would be aired again on the 6pm and 11pm newscasts later in the day.

“You think this is funny?” Ashlyn’s voice was sharp and it cut through her wife like a knife. “You fucking think this is a joke?”

“No, babe, I didn’t mean...”

“I just spent all morning telling the world that it’s ok to talk about mental health. I told everybody who might be struggling to be brave and reach out to somebody before they did something they wouldn’t be able to undo. There are people out there who are sick and mentally unstable Ali. Lots of them! And one of them thinks you’re their new best friend, or maybe more, who the fuck knows?” her voice got higher as she got more worked up. “There’s nothing funny about this. And if you don’t care enough about our kids or me to take it seriously...” she paused, breath heavy and eyes blazing, letting the threat dangle empty between them.

“Hey” Ali straightened up and matched her wife’s glare with a steely one of her own. “My day hasn’t been so great either and I don’t need you coming in here being all high and mighty and judging me for any of this bullshit! I didn’t ask for this to happen! I didn’t encourage it in any way and I don’t appreciate you making it seem like I don’t give a shit about it. And don’t you DARE talk to me about caring for our family...”

“Whoa whoa whoa, guys, come on” Whitney finally interjected, hoping to derail the fight that was about to explode right in her very office. “This is scary stuff and you’re both upset. But come on. You both would do anything to protect your family. We all know that. Come on now. Just take a breath, both of you.”

An anxious quiet filled the room for another minute or so before Ashlyn looked at her watch. She wasn’t trying to be a bitch. She had to get on the road soon to pick up the kids from school. As soon as she made that one motion Ali let her stubborn, indignant anger drop. There simply wasn’t time for it. That was all there was to it.

“You can’t get a restraining order against somebody until you know who it is” she explained quickly, nodding at her keeper and trying to keep her voice calm. “I know because I asked the same thing. That’s what I thought was funny.”

Ashlyn closed her eyes when she heard her wife’s explanation, feeling guilty for flying off the handle.

“The officer said there wasn’t anything to be too worried about yet” Whitney said, trying to move the discussion forward while tempers continued to cool down. “He said it was good that we went in” she added quickly. “The sooner they know about these things the better. He said they’ll keep an extra eye out on the building and near the post office where the letters and gifts have been mailed from.” 

“They’ve all been mailed from the same place?”

“Yeah, the post office up the street, in Kendall Square” Ali nodded at her wife with a small half-smile. It was a peace offering and Ashlyn took it, smiling back and reaching over to hold her hand.

“He’s going to talk to the post office and do some investigating but he told us he didn’t think he was going to get very far. He just wanted us to be ready for no news or no conclusions” the lawyer explained.

“He wants our security camera footage from June...” Ali started but was corrected by Whitney.

“May. From the beginning of May. I have Holly getting that together for him now. We think this...secret admirer was at the fundraiser, the Newlywed Game...”

“That creepy question at the very end...” Ashlyn murmured, more to herself than anybody else.

“Yeah, we think so. But we’re not sure. Nothing is for sure and that’s what makes it so hard” Ali squeezed her wife’s hand. “But it’s a start.”

“And so far the good news is that it’s all taken place here at work” Whitney tried to make sure Ashlyn had something optimistic to hold on to because she knew she’d need it, just as she and Ali had earlier at the police station.

“Except for the fundraiser” Ashlyn gave her best friend a serious look.

“Oh shit, yeah. But it’s just here, in Kendall Square.”

“As opposed to what?” the keeper’s spine stiffened as she looked from one woman to the other again.

“Well, he explained that usually these types of...individuals don’t limit themselves to just one location” Ali offered the next part of the explanation. “But this one is. The K-H office, the post office and the fundraiser were all in Kendall Square.”

“You mean the next step is for these things to start coming to the house?” both of the keeper’s eyebrows went up. “How would they even get our address? Do you think they know where we live?”

“This is the good news Ash” Whitney smiled at the nervous woman across from her. “This person is limiting themselves to Kendall Square. The officer thinks it might mean that they don’t have their own car. They’re relying on the T or public transportation. And that’s a good thing.” 

“It narrows the area down and he also said there are security cameras they can use at all the T stops and on all the buses...” Ali tugged her wife’s arm to get her attention when she saw the glassy-eyed look on her keeper’s face. “Hey, it’s going to be ok honey. Really. He scared the shit out of us” she nodded at Whitney and then looked into Ashlyn’s face again. “But none of this is serious...”

“But...” the keeper opened her mouth to protest.

“They’re taking it seriously, and we’re going to take it seriously” the brunette continued quickly. “But the level of engagement from this individual isn’t that serious. That’s what Officer Clemanzi said and he’s seen these things before. We’re not talking ‘Fatal Attraction’ level of crazy here. That’s all he was saying. Ok babe?”

“Yeah, ok” Ashlyn exhaled and looked at Whitney for confirmation and reinforcement.

“We’re going to save anything else that comes in and bring it to him so they can try and get fingerprints from it” the lawyer explained with a kind smile. “If this person is in the system then hopefully we’ll get a match and the police can just go talk to them and find out what’s going on.”

“Then we get the restraining order” Ashlyn stated matter-of-factly. “No doubt about it. End of discussion.”

“Absolutely.”  
“Hell yes.” 

Both Whitney and Ali answered at the same time and they all shared a nervous laugh.

“Do they think it’s a woman?” Ashlyn cocked her head and looked doubtful.

“He didn’t want to make that commitment” Ali replied. “But I’m sure it’s a woman. That voice at the end of the fundraiser. The poems. The handwriting could go either way, but I...I just think it’s a woman.”

“The officer kept saying this stuff was usually done by men though” Whitney cautioned. “So we can’t assume anything until we know for a fact.”

“I’m so glad you finally got the cops involved” Ashlyn squeezed Ali’s hand. “Thank you for doing that. I’m sure sharing all of this private information with strangers wasn’t easy for you. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me” Ali chuckled and pointed at the lawyer behind the desk who was wearing her own small but satisfied smile. “She made me do it. And I’m so glad she did. Thank you Whit” the brunette’s voice got emotional at the end and she had to blink back a couple of tears as she processed the stressful day.

“You’re more than welcome. You’d do the same thing for me, I know you would.”

Ashlyn didn’t speak. Instead she dropped her wife’s hand and rushed around the desk to wrap Whitney in a tight hug.

“Love you Whit” Ashlyn’s voice was an emotional whisper from inside the long hug.

“Love you too Ash.”

//

In the remaining three weeks of October, flowers were left at the house, and then a letter was sent to the K-H office with a poem in it, and finally a postcard of a beautiful beach sunset was sent to the K-H office. The flowers, just a loose bundle of wildflowers that looked like they had been picked from the flower beds along the side of the garage, appeared on the front porch two mornings after the visit to the Cambridge Police. Ashlyn had found them after taking Logan out there to work on using the steps. The big staircases inside the house were too daunting for the pup but the three steps up to the front porch of the house were perfect. The keeper saw the flowers and immediately assumed that one of the kids had collected them and left them there as part of their play time. It was a fairly common occurrence. Her money would have been on Lily if she had bet on it and when she asked the kids about it after school that day the little blonde girl had lied and claimed them as her own. She didn’t realize what she was doing or why her Mama was truly asking the question.

The next letter came to Ali at work the following week and included another poem. This time the poem was definitely romantic and that was a first. Marcy had come bursting into Ali’s office with the envelope flapping in her anxious hand and they had opened it together. Ali refrained from touching it in an effort to limit the number of fingerprints that would appear on it. Marcy carefully unfolded the hand-written piece of paper with the poem on it and they both read it, silently.

“Well fuck” Ali muttered, blowing out an anxious breath. “Fuck.”

“This one’s different. Definitely a love poem. It’s signed with a heart this time too” Marcy offered her observations as they stood there, side by side, staring down at Ali’s desk. 

When the postcard arrived the day before Halloween Marcy ran through the same routine. Again there was a romantic theme and another heart drawn where there should have been a name. Ali brought the postcard to Officer Clemenzi just as she had the letter the week before. They were still waiting for the lab to test for fingerprints and he warned the brunette not to hold her breath. The forensics lab was inundated with cases, both current as well as old cold cases that were being re-worked as a result of more modern technology being used on the old evidence. It would just take time for Ali’s letter, and now postcard, to be tested. The last thing Ali did was tell her wife about the new tone of the last two pieces of correspondence she had recently received. Ashlyn did not take it well. 

“We’re doing everything right honey” Ali tried to soothe her. “As soon as we got the letter I brought it right to the police. Same with the postcard. Now we just have to wait for the fingerprint test. And hopefully this person is in the system and the police can just go get them and it’ll all be over.”

“I hate this Al. I fucking hate it. I feel so helpless. I can’t...I can’t do anything to help you...”

“But you are helping me Ash. You are” Ali grabbed her wife by the shoulders and gave her a little shake. “I would be a total mess without you helping me honey. The only thing that keeps me from freaking out is that I know you’re right here with me. Right beside me, every step of the way. And even more important, you’re with the kids. I know we don’t have to worry about that really, but it makes me feel better knowing you’d do anything in your power to keep them safe, no matter what.”

“I would. Just like you would” Ashlyn gripped her wife’s hips securely in response. “And you’re right. Now we just have to wait. They’ll get the fingerprints and then we’ll get this pervert. God, I can’t wait.”

Little did they know that the stalker had already reached so much farther into their lives. By assuming that everything was still restricted to Cambridge, they weren’t even considering the stalker as the answer to several questions that had popped up over the past several months. The flowers left on the front porch from October were not the first time that had been done. It had happened at the end of July and Ali had just assumed they were something the kids had been playing with and never gave them another thought. The missing to-do list from Ashlyn’s desk in the garage in mid-August had been chalked up to a simple case of missing papers which was all too common in the big old house because of the kids. Similarly, the keeper had seen the small carved elephant on the desk in the garage and assumed that her wife had left it there for her or for herself. The busy life of parenting four small children left little time for doublechecking every single thing that appeared, or disappeared, with your spouse.

And it had certainly never crossed their minds, even after scouring every inch of the house together, that the missing blue stone would have been related in any way to what was going on with the letters and gifts at the K-H office. It was just inconceivable.

Life went on and Ali and Ashlyn and their close friends carried on as normal while secretly praying for the conclusion to the creepy scenario Ali had found herself in. Out of an abundance of caution and with no real evidence making it necessary, all of the four-family parents had new talks with their kids about stranger danger. It wasn’t even something that had been discussed among them. They all just did it because it seemed like a good idea considering what Ali was dealing with at work. If they had only known that the stalker had been spying on them all in one way or another already. If they had only known.

//

Dodge Krieger was something else. The first week of November he was almost 6-1/2 years old and enjoying first grade, making new friends, and learning how to play football. He was about as happy as he had ever been. He had a new puppy at home who was great as long as he didn’t get too close to those sharp teeth. It was hard to give Logan the hugs he wanted without getting a quick nip in the process and he was still perfecting his technique. His go-to method so far was to wait until the pup was asleep. But both of his moms yelled at him when he disturbed Logan’s restful times. He had some more thinking to do about that for sure. What he didn’t usually spend too much time thinking about, ever, since the day he was first able to consider consequences and make decisions at all, was if it would hurt. Whatever situation he was faced with he rarely thought about how much it might hurt him. He felt pain just as much as the rest of his siblings did, but he simply didn’t let it influence many of his decisions. This was a major part of the daredevil streak that ran so strong inside him. It had served him well so far for the entirety of his 6-1/2 years on the planet. It helped him play soccer and baseball and football and basketball. It helped him improve his hand to eye coordination and reflex speed. It helped him on Wednesday, November 7th and he ran into the kitchen to show his mother just how much.

“Mommy! Mommy!” he called as he raced across the tiled floor and skidded to a halt, crashing into Ali’s legs as she emptied out food containers from the kids’ lunch bags that day.

“Ow! Dodgie, watch where you’re going” Ali chastised with a groan and then a chuckle. 

She was happy it was November and she wouldn’t have to be wearing shorts anytime soon and have to explain where this latest bruise had come from. Both she and Ashlyn were constantly sporting all sorts of different cuts and scratches and bruises and bumps from the kids. They weren’t all from their exuberant youngest son, but he was responsible for an inordinate amount of them. It was almost 5pm on Wednesday and Ashlyn had taken Josie up to her private music lesson in Rockport. Just as Drew was taking private lessons for his trumpet, Josie had started taking them for her flute. Once a week for an hour. Then they each had to practice for an hour 3 times a week. The moms had decided to allow them to split up those hours into half-hour sessions if they preferred because sometimes finding a whole hour of quality practice time could be challenging. And, in all honesty, sometimes listening to an entire hour of Drew practicing his trumpet or Josie practicing her flute was too much for the moms in the house to endure. 

Ali and Drew had soccer practice at 6pm and she was about to get dinner ready for the kids, expecting her wife and daughter home at about 5:15pm. Drew was downstairs playing video games and Dodge and Lily had been in the front living room watching one of their shows.

“Look!” Dodge persisted, unbothered by his mother’s admonition.

Ali turned to look at her son and gasped in surprise and a small amount of fear when she took in the view. The boy stood there, grinning from ear to ear with blood dripping down his lip and onto his chin. He had one fist raised straight above his head and looked so happy he was about to burst out of his skin.

“What happened?! Are you ok? Let me see...” the brunette bent over and started to inspect her son, opening his mouth with her fingers and lifting his upper lip up to get a better look. The upper lip was usually where most of the mouth trauma seemed to occur with the kids.

“Oh-yyy, Oh-yyy, ook!” he jumped up and waved the arm above his head around, struggling to form words with his mother’s fingers holding his mouth open.

“Hold still, I’m trying to see where this blood is coming from...”

“Ayy oooh” he tried to grin but couldn’t move much of his mouth at all. “Eeee?” he brought his hand down near Ali’s face and opened his tightly balled fist to reveal a bloody tooth.

“What?” Ali drew back so she could see what he was holding. “Oh my God, you pulled that tooth out didn’t you?” she gasped again. 

It was a rhetorical question and the boy’s grin told her everything she needed to know. That’s why his mouth was bleeding and it explained why he was so excited about it too. He had been told by every grown-up in his life for the past week not to pull the tooth out of his own mouth. One of his two front lower teeth had been a little loose but it was definitely not ready to come out yet.

“It was really loose” he shrugged and looked down at the mess in his hand. “Look at all the blood” he observed, seemingly for the first time. He reached up and felt his chin, dabbing a finger into the blood there and then looking at it too. “More blood!” he waited for Ali’s response before deciding how to feel about it. It was a little scary to have his own blood on the loose but it was also kind of cool too.

“You’re ok big guy” she kissed his forehead with another chuckle and a smile. “But that tooth was not ready to come out yet” she gave him a gentle quirk of her eyebrow – the kind where he knew he wasn’t really in any trouble. “That’s why it’s bleeding. You should have left it alone honey.”

“It doesn’t hurt” he shrugged again after taking a few seconds to assess things in his mouth with his tongue. “Here” he stuck his palm with the bloody tooth in it towards Ali and started to turn away to go back to the front living room.

“Hold on there bloody boy” she laughed. “Let’s get you cleaned up” she grabbed his arm and led him over to the sink as he whined his opposition. “It’ll just take a minute. But I want to make sure the bleeding has stopped. We might have to take you to the dentist too.”

“But why? It’s already out” he reasoned as he let his mother start wiping off his face and hands with wet paper towels.

“You might have ripped your gum open you big goofball. That’s why we’ve been telling you...”

“Not to pull my tooth out” he finished the sentence he had heard on a loop for the past week. “I know” he sighed but then smiled. “But how awesome does the hole look?!” he asked excitedly and made his mother laugh her short, loud, shout of a laugh.

“It looks pretty awesome” she nodded with a nose-crinkling grin. “Let’s get it cleaned up so you can show Mama when she gets home in a few minutes. You know she can’t stand to see a lot of blood. Hold still now.”

“Leave it to Dodge to be the one who pulls his own stupid tooth out” Ashlyn chuckled as she joined her wife on the couch in the family room that night after the kids were in bed. She reached over to scratch Logan’s head as the puppy lay on her back in Ali’s lap, pink belly on full display. “I was nowhere near as crazy as he is. I don’t care what my parents say.”

“Josie pulled hers out too” Ali reminded as she rubbed Persey’s back. The old brindled dog was curled up next to the brunette on the couch, snoring loudly. “Remember at Mike’s retirement party down in Miami?”

“Oh Jesus, that’s right” the keeper laughed softly, shaking her head at the memorable event. “And I almost lost the damned thing before it had been out of her mouth for more than two minutes. God, that was awful.”

“But then we found it and everything was pretty great” Ali smiled.

“Hers was really loose though. She just gave it a little tug and it came out” Ashlyn’s eyebrows went up as she spoke. “Not like destructo boy. His tooth was nowhere near ready to come out. I can’t even imagine how he got it out of there.”

“I’ll get Julie to look at it tomorrow, see if we need to take him to the dentist for stitches or anything.”

“I already had her look at it tonight” Ashlyn admitted sheepishly. “I couldn’t wait and I couldn’t keep looking at it. It took forever to even slow down the bleeding.”

“Well, what did she say?”

“If it hasn’t stopped bleeding tomorrow we have to take him in. She didn’t think he’d need stitches, well, maybe just one. He ripped some tender kind of tissue or something in his gum” she cringed as she recalled what the nurse from next door had told her while Ali and Drew had been at soccer practice.

“Yeah, that boy of yours is trouble with a capital T” Ali sighed and leaned her head onto Ashlyn’s shoulder with a chuckle. “I love him so much though. You should have seen how proud he was of himself and of the tooth. He was absolutely adorable.”

“Now THAT part sounds just like me. Maybe my parents are right after all?” she teased and then leaned over to kiss her wife’s lips. “You know what they say, the adorableness doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note about the WNBA playoffs that are happening right now.....you sports fans should check out this championship series between the Seattle Storm and the Washington Mystics. It's awesome. The first game was Friday night and it wasn't great because Seattle destroyed the Mystics. But this is the first time the Mystics have ever made the playoffs, forget about the championship series. They played like it too. But today, game 2, was a totally different story. What a game. Two of my absolute faves are playing too - Sue Bird for Seattle (the oldest player in the entire league, probably the best point guard ever in the history of the women's game, and Megan Rapinoe's girlfriend), and Elena Della Donne for Washington DC (one of the very best players in the league and the reason for the Mystics' playoff-caliber play this season, another lady-loving lady who came out and got married last year in a splashy, gorgeous wedding ceremony and celebration that she bravely shared with the world, oh and she's the absolute definition of a tall drink of water). There are fabulous players on both teams and I encourage everybody to check out the next game Wednesday night at 8pm (eastern time) and support this league and these great athletes. The games are usually on ESPN2 or ESPN News. Today's game was on ABCTV and ESPN for all of America to watch and I hope it got great ratings. Check it out. :)


	24. The Berkshires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a floor plan and sketch of the glamping cabin on the Tumblr page if anybody wants to see it.
> 
> Smut warning

The NWSL playoffs and Championship week had messed up Ashlyn’s birthday, again. The keeper’s 44th birthday had been spent getting ready for the Championship game itself the very next day. The good news was that Ali had kept her promise to herself of spending more time at Championship week for business-related reasons, primarily. She couldn’t get there for the whole week, but made it to Chicago on Wednesday and spent 3 full days meeting new clients and agents and owners and putting her networking skills to excellent use. But she also enjoyed spending time with her wife on the work trip too. They spent some very nice time together that Friday night celebrating Ashlyn’s special day in their birthday suits. 

But now it was Veteran’s Day weekend and Ali had plans to whisk her wife away for a romantic 3-day weekend in the Berkshires for a more fitting celebration of her big day. The Kriegers had used up a lot of Grandparent babysitting days already that year and Ali didn’t feel like she could go back to that well again. Instead, she got her childless friends to come and stay at the big old house for the two nights they would be away. Carmelina Moscato and Jessie Davis had willingly agreed to do it and seemed honestly excited to spend time with the young Krieger brood. They in turn coaxed their other friend Erica to join them, using the argument that she was an actual mother and would just know what to do when something happened with any of the kids that stumped them. Erica said yes and brought her 7-1/2 year old daughter Maisy with her as well. The only one missing was Liz but she had plans of her own that weekend and couldn’t make it. The new puppy was an added draw that all three women were looking forward to. They had been up front with Ali about it too, teasing her about how they loved her new puppy more than her adorable kids.

Ali and Ashlyn left Saturday morning just before noontime, waiting to make sure everybody was settled in before making their official departure. All 3 of the babysitting women had known the kids their whole lives and everybody was comfortable with everybody else. The Krieger kids were shy at first but they had happy memories of previous fun times with Carm, who was one of their favorite babysitters, as well as Jessie and Erica. Maisy was a year younger than Josie and a year older than the twins so she fit right in like another pea in the pod. Persey was the one who was the fussiest about Ali and Ashlyn leaving but everybody understood she was still adapting to having Logan around. So many changes for a dog who thrived on routine and structure could be challenging but Perey was doing a good job too. She was remarkably patient with Logan the pup, more so than Ali had even hoped back when she had made the decision to get another dog.  
As she drove away, Ali prayed everything would be ok until they got home again on Monday afternoon.

It was a 3-1/2 hour drive to get to their destination and they spent most of it talking about so many of the little things they didn’t always get a chance to share with each other because of their busy schedules. Talking to each other had always been something easy and fun for both women and that drive was no different. They were both in good moods, feeling rested, and looking forward to their time together with no parental responsibilities. Ashlyn recounted the most recent stories from school that the kids hadn’t taken the time to tell the brunette over the past couple of days. Lily finally seemed to have a best friend at school but neither mom was sure just how long it would last. Their youngest daughter still preferred the company of animals – both real or stuffed, to most other companions. 

“Who is it?” Ali squinted at her wife as the keeper drove her Jeep west down the Massachusetts Turnpike. Ali had made her go a less-direct route because she wanted to show her someplace special on their way to their final destination. “I thought Nina was her bestie?”

“Nope. Nina is last year’s news sis” Ashlyn teased and winked at her wife who just grinned back at her. “Do you remember the girl who got the hiccups in the middle of the spring performance last year?”

“Oh geez, the one with glasses who giggles all the time?” Ali laughed at the memory of the pretty little dark-haired girl who had hiccupped her way through the kindergarten class’ group routine. She was one of the shyest girls in the class but she had stolen the show by refusing to give up no matter how bad the hiccups had gotten. And she had hiccupped so strongly at one point that her glasses fell off of her cute little face. “What’s her name again?”

“Tahlia” Ashlyn nodded with a smile.

“That’s right, Tahlia” Ali grinned. “Well I hope she’s up for being Lily’s bestie. I’m not sure it’ll be an easy job.”

“It’ll never be boring, that’s for sure” Ashlyn chuckled.

Ali told her wife some gossip from the office and they took turns complaining about different frustrating aspects of their jobs. 

“Neil told me that the Ornsteins finally got an offer on the house” Ashlyn recounted the conversation she had had with their next-door neighbor the day before. “They finally dropped the price I guess...”

“Took them long enough. I hate having that house empty like that. There’s probably an entire family of rabbits living there now” Ali rolled her eyes.

“Really? Rabbits? That’s the worst kind of uninvited wildlife you can come up with?” Ashlyn laughed out loud at her wife who was looking back at her with an offended grin. “Not rats or raccoons or feral cats or something even kind of scary or gross huh?”

“Oh my God, do you think that’s what’s inside that house by now?” Ali’s face went pale at the thought. “Or the garage? God I bet there’s definitely something living in that garage by now. Jesus Christ” she closed her eyes and shivered at the idea.

The happy, relaxed women laughed and joked and sang along with their favorite tunes the whole drive. They never once noticed the car that had been following them since they left the big old house. They didn’t notice it pull in behind them in the parking area at Mt. Toby State Forest 2-1/2 hours into their drive either.

“So what are we doing sugarplum?” Ashlyn huffed out as she continued to climb the moderately steep hiking trail behind her wife. “I didn’t know grueling hike was on the menu for this afternoon or I would have worn better shoes” she chuckled and tried to catch her breath.

It was almost 3pm on that beautiful 60-degree Autumn afternoon. The whole Fall season in New England had been warmer than usual that year and that Saturday afternoon was no exception. Most of the leaves had already fallen but some were still clinging, in all their beautiful colors, to the branches above their heads. There were a handful of other people hiking the trail too and Ali was beside herself with happiness at the idea of showing her wife one of her old favorite places from her younger days.

“Oh come on” the brunette laughed as she turned to encourage her keeper along. She quickly glanced at her wife’s Doc Marten boots and realized they probably weren’t the most comfortable footwear for the short hike. She wished she had noticed before they left the car so she could have made her wife change into sneakers. “We’re almost there. We’re not going very far, there’s just one spot I want to show you.”

It had only been a fifteen-minute hike and the path was well-worn and pretty easy walking, but it was no joke. After another 3 or 4 minutes they followed a sharp turn in the path to the right and then saw and heard a small waterfall dumping clear, mountain water into a beautiful pool right in front of them. The waterfall itself, about 20’ above their heads, was only 3 feet wide as it tumbled over the edge of the rocks above. It fell in a straight line down into the shallow pool at the bottom, without any sort of interesting or unusual characteristics. It was simple and straightforward and perfect. It was small enough that you couldn’t hear it thundering ahead of you as you hiked the path up to it either. That’s what Ali loved the most. It was almost like a surprise, every single time.

“Wow” Ashlyn grinned in approval as she took in the sight of the simple but impressive waterfall. “Totally worth it” she nodded and let Ali lead her by the hand to a spot off to the right side of the path, out of the way, so they could admire the view in peace and quiet for a few minutes.

“A lot of my friends from high school went to UMass” Ali explained, referencing the University of Massachusetts at Amherst. It was the biggest state school in Massachusetts and it used to have a horrible reputation as a big-time party school. ‘ZooMass’ was its’ nickname for a while before the board of Trustees took steps to clean up the reputation and restore the school to some semblance of respectability. “Syd and I used to come and visit whenever I came up from Penn State” she smiled at the memories flooding her brain. “It was a lot of fun and I used to love coming here before we headed back to Ipswich” she took a deep breath, filling her lungs to capacity and closing her eyes as she breathed it all in. “This used to be one of my favorite places.”

“I can see why” Ashlyn blinked adoringly at her wife who was still mesmerized by the waterfall. “It’s beautiful.”

“Oh stop” Ali chuckled when she felt her wife staring at her and turned to meet her loving gaze.

“What?” the keeper grinned. “It’s true.”

They talked for a while about the fun things Ali and Sydney had done with their friends when they had been 18 and 19 years old. Then Ashlyn stopped two other hikers who finally came up the path and asked them to take a picture of the couple in front of the waterfall. After spending about a half hour up there they spent the next 15 minutes hiking back down to the Jeep, walking hand in hand as soon as the path was wide enough to allow it. They were back on the road, heading Northwest up towards their final destination, by 4:15pm.

“So how come you never brought me to see your waterfall before?” Ashlyn asked as she kept her eyes on the road. Dusk was starting and sunset would be only another 15 minutes or so away. The keeper wanted to make sure their weekend wasn’t marred by any driving drama before they even got where they were going. 

“I’ve almost done it a million times” the brunette admitted shyly and turned to look at Ashlyn as she drove. “But there’s never time” she sighed wistfully. “It’s a 2-1/2 hour drive and we just haven’t been out this way that much before” she shrugged. “As soon as I had this weekend planned I knew I was gonna take you there though” she smiled and leaned over to kiss her wife’s shoulder. “Thanks for being a good sport about it. I know it’s not that exciting.”

“I loved it honey. I really did” Ashlyn reached over and squeezed Ali’s thigh, patting it and leaving her hand there until it was needed again at the steering wheel. “It wasn’t the biggest waterfall or the loudest or the splashiest or any of that. But it was kind of perfect, just the way it was. Like it was a secret almost. Hidden up there between those two big sets of rocks” she smiled again when she saw Ali’s face light up at her words. “I’ll bet some people don’t even know it’s there. I’ll bet they hike right around it...”

“They do” Ali nodded eagerly. “That fork in the trail, if you stay to the right you go around the first big rock and don’t get near the waterfall. Most of the serious hikers take that route so they can avoid us lazy hikers who only go one quarter of the way up the trail just to get to the pretty waterfall” she giggled. 

“Well, it’s their loss. I love that secret waterfall, baby. And I love you” the blonde blinked at her wife as best she could while driving. “Thank you for sharing it with me. Even after all these years.”

It was 5:15pm and dark when they finally arrived at Mount Greylock State Reservation in Adams, MA. Ali read the driving and parking instructions to her wife while Ashlyn navigated the Jeep through the parking area for the State Reservation. There was an information and welcome center where visitors and day-trippers could map out the hikes they wanted to take but it had just closed at 5pm. There was one big streetlamp next to the building that illuminated roughly half of the parking lot which still had four or five cars in it. You could hike or camp in the State Reservation and there were park rangers who kept an eye on things all year round. In addition to those basic options, there were a handful of cabins that could be rented out by the night or by the week. Glamour camping or Glamping had become increasingly popular over the years and Ali wasn’t upset about it. Ashlyn liked to pretend she thought it was ridiculous but she really loved the idea too. You could go out and do your outdoorsy camping and hiking things all day and then relax in the comfort of a nice cabin with hot water and electricity. Sounded like heaven to both women.

As with all the cool rental spots Ashlyn or Ali ever enjoyed, they had gotten the recommendation from Molly Cross. The cabins at Mt Greylock used to be run by the state of Massachusetts and the USFWS (US Fish and Wildlife Service). As you can imagine, it was before the Glamping movement had fully taken hold and they were very unpopular and underutilized. But in recent years, a young, enterprising hospitality company had taken over the contract to run those cabins and dozens more like them all across the state of Massachusetts. The resulting Glamping experience was what Molly had wholeheartedly endorsed. The company knew what it was doing and it catered to the different markets and made seasonal adjustments as well. For example, Veteran’s Day Weekend in early November was popular for people who were trying to get away from it all for a few days. It wasn’t a big family vacation trip. Kids were back in school and the holidays were coming up and people just wanted to escape and enjoy some peace and quiet, and maybe some romance. To that end, the company stocked the cabin with whatever you told them to as part of your booking arrangement and reservation. They stocked the fridge with what you wanted and made sure you had everything you needed for your weekend of solitude and privacy. That meant that if you were planning to make stir fry for your husband or wife one night, they made sure there was a wok and whatever else you would need to use it. It was expensive but it was pretty freaking cool too. As long as you could plan ahead a little bit, which was not a problem for Alexandra Krieger in the least, then you were guaranteed a perfect weekend away with all of your favorite things waiting for you when you arrived.

The other thing that was promised was space and privacy. The cabins were spread miles apart throughout the enormous State Reservation and you were given a map so you could hike up the correct trail to get to your specific cabin. All you needed to bring in was your own clothes and other personal items. If you needed help lugging things up to the cabin you could arrange for assistance there too. And someone was always on-call so if something happened in the middle of the night and you needed help with a burst pipe or some other strange occurrence that couldn’t be helped or foreseen, all you had to do was use the phone that was hard-wired into the cabin to call down to the cabin concierge, for lack of a better term. The wifi was spotty at best up there and cellphones often didn’t work well once you left the parking area. That was the only knock on the glamping cabins – you had to be willing to disconnect a little bit. And you had to download your movies and tv shows to watch onto your laptop before you got there. But it was an easy sacrifice to make in exchange for the peace and quiet and privacy and solitude you would get in return.

“No, not this one” Ali corrected as she looked at the map in her lap with the light from her phone. “The next one, over there” she pointed to the adjacent part of the parking lot.

“Oh, ok, I see it now” Ashlyn nodded when her eyes finally spotted the sign that indicated the trail to the group of cabins they were looking for. “Got it.”

It took them the better part of 45 minutes to get all of their stuff up the trail, on their backs, and to their cabin. The trail itself was pretty easy but took about 30 minutes to get up to the remote cabin. There was a light about 20’ away from the cabin and then another one right on the side of the cabin next to the front door and that was it. Everything else was darkness. Ali had packed two heavy duty flashlights, as instructed by the company, that they used to follow the trail that evening.

“I can’t get over how dark it is up here” Ashlyn spoke quietly as they took in the view from just outside their cabin. They had dropped their stuff inside and turned the lights off so they could look up at the sky and see the stars. “It’s awesome.”

“Look at that sky” Ali sighed happily as she squeezed her wife from the side hug they were enjoying. “It’s worth it for that alone.” 

As they settled into the small, one-bedroom cabin that evening a sense of peace and tranquility overcame both women. It was a rustic looking cabin with a shallow front porch and a big fireplace on the right side of the building as you faced it from the outside. The front door was in the middle, slightly offset to the left side, and opened into one big room that was wider than it was deep. Behind the big room was a small bathroom in the back, left corner of the building as well as a small bedroom in the back, right corner. The bedroom was big enough to fit a queen-sized bed with two nightstands and one dresser, but not much more. The big room had a good-sized living room to the right as you walked in, with the fireplace as the focal point of the entire space. There was a nice, comfy couch facing the front windows and the view, and an arm chair and table across from it, near the front door. On the left side of the room as you walked in the front door, there was a cozy dining area with a table and two banquette seats in the front corner. Behind it, but divided only by a half-wall, was the kitchen. It was shaped like a ‘C’ with the stove and oven abutting the dining area, the sink and most of the counter space along the outside wall with the window centered over the sink. And then the refrigerator across from the stove, along the wall that divided the kitchen from the bathroom behind it. The whole thing was quaint and cozy and it was by design. The entertainment was outdoors in the majesty of the mountain and the glory of the trees and streams that covered it. The indoors was comfy and clean and functional, but not extravagant in any way. It was exactly what Ali had been hoping for.

The brunette made a quick dinner in the small kitchen while Ashlyn cleaned the cabin, her slight OCD tendencies requiring her to run a disinfecting wipe over virtually every surface before she could truly relax. It didn’t faze her wife anymore. In fact, Ali had come to appreciate and enjoy the extra benefits of her keeper’s need for clean spaces when they travelled. When Ashlyn had finished that task she unpacked for them both, filling the one dresser in the small bedroom with their clothes and moving their toiletries to the tiny bathroom as best she could. They ate dinner, talking about what they wanted to do while they were up there for two nights and one full day, tomorrow, before driving back on Monday.

“I’ll hike as much as you want to babe, this is your weekend. You get to call all the shots” Ali laughed as Ashlyn’s eyes lit up. “But I brought some other things to keep us busy too, if you want to relax indoors instead” she added coyly.

“Oh, I saw what you brought baby. And I can’t wait to play with every single thing in that little black bag” the keeper smirked across the table, loving the shocked look on Ali’s face. “I unpacked, remember?”

“Aw, well that’s no fun” Ali pouted but couldn’t keep the smile off of her face. “Ruined all my surprises.”

“Nothing’s ruined” Ashlyn slid to the end of the banquette with her empty plate and stood up at the end of the table. She leaned over and gave her wife a soft, slow kiss, pulling her empty plate over with her as she straightened up afterwards. “Everything’s awesome and I couldn’t be happier” she gave her one more peck before moving to the sink and starting to clean up the plates and dishes from their meal. “Besides, you’re not supposed to hike in the dark” she winked over her shoulder as Ali laughed her short, loud, shout of a laugh and joined her in the kitchen.

“I love you” she sighed into her keeper’s back as she hugged her from behind with a dreamy look on her face. “You’re absolutely perfect. Don’t ever change love, ok?”

“You must be drunk already” Ashlyn chuckled. “Or thinking of somebody else” she playfully bumped her ass back into the brunette. “Who were you yelling at just the other day about...”

“Oh just stop” Ali poked her girl in the side and smacked her ass at the same time. “Parenting and homeownership and everyday bullshit is not welcome here.”

“Ok, ok” the keeper giggled and squirmed in her wife’s strong arms. “I’m sorry” she laughed, her high voice music to Ali’s ears.

“Don’t slip up again or you won’t see any of those toys I brought” the brunette squeezed one of her wife’s breasts and grabbed her crotch at the same time, topping the well-timed maneuver with a playful nip to her neck that had Ashlyn gasping in surprise and then aching for more.

“Mmmmmm...damn woman, you’re making it hard for me to get these dishes done” she groaned out. “Why don’t you go get those toys ready while I finish up here and then we’ll get this weekend started off right.”

“Don’t you want some birthday cake?” Ali had made a special request for a small birthday cake for her wife’s big day and the company had come through in spades. There was a cake that looked delicious that they had both been looking forward to trying after dinner.

“You’re the only birthday cake I’ll ever need baby” Ashlyn cheesed.

“Stop” Ali laughed and delivered another playful smack to the blonde’s butt. “Seriously, you’re ok waiting?”

“Honey, I’ll eat that cake off your naked body and enjoy it a whole lot more. Trust me.”

Ali wasn’t sure if it was the words themselves or her wife’s throaty, husky voice when she said them, but she felt her libido skyrocket – just like that. It had been another day where they both knew what was going to happen at the end of it, if everything went well. A day full of anticipation for both of them. It was almost 8pm and neither of them was interested in delaying anything any further. The brunette gave her wife another shameless grope with both hands and then went to the bedroom to get things ready.

There was something about the freedom they were enjoying with no responsibilities other than feeding and bathing themselves that weekend. That freedom mixed with the sheer peace and quiet of the beautiful location they were in made them both come alive in ways they weren’t often able to at home. It had become a habit of theirs over the years to have sex when they travelled or spent time without the kids. One of the first things either of them thought about when they checked into whatever hotel they were staying at for whatever sort of trip, was getting lost in the ecstasy of their wife’s naked skin, sultry words, and delicious flavors. As Ali washed the toys in the bathroom sink she wondered if she would always get turned on every time they checked into a hotel for the rest of their lives. She hoped so.

“More wine for my woman” Ashlyn announced when she entered the bedroom a few minutes later with a glass of red wine in one hand and another whiskey drink in the other. They weren’t driving anywhere and it was still early enough where neither of them would fall asleep instantly if they had some more alcohol. “Where do you want it?”

“You know right where I want it” Ali flirted back from the other side of the bed as she pulled the covers down and wagged her ass at her grinning wife.

“If you kill me before we even start...” Ashlyn joked as she put both glasses down on top of the nightstand closest to her.

“Grab the blanket and get over here” she chuckled but the hungry look in her eye told Ashlyn there was nothing funny about it.

The keeper grabbed the soft, purple blanket that they used for their sexy times, when they planned ahead enough anyway, and spread it across the bottom half of the bed. They brought it with them for trips like this because there wasn’t daily maid service to take care of dirty towels and they didn’t have access to laundry services unless they drove and found a laundromat somewhere. The absorbent ‘Throes of Passion’ blankets that they owned, there were a few different sizes, always came in handy for nights like that night. She winked at her wife as they worked together to get it in place.

“Can I pee or are we on some sort of schedule I don’t know about?” Ashlyn teased. 

“Just hurry up” the brunette replied as she started to get undressed with a broad smile on her face. “And bring the toys back in with you, ok?”

“You got it” she eyed her wife’s newly uncovered skin and felt a tug in her core. “Be right back. Damn you look good” she whistled as she moved towards the door. “Don’t start without me now.”

“We’ll see” Ali giggled. “Just hurry up!”

The brunette looked at the two big windows in the room and frowned. One was on the side wall, above the bed, and the other was on the rear wall, next to the bed. It hadn’t bothered her that the other windows in the cabin had only curtains covering them, but not blinds of any kind. She thought it was quaint and suited the style of the cabin. They were heavy enough curtains, not just lightweight sheer panels or anything, but there were gaps between them and they definitely didn’t block out every inch of the window. In the bedroom there was a headboard on the bed and then short awning type windows above it. She wasn’t worried about those as much as the bigger full-size window on the back wall. She thought for a minute about hanging one of the spare sheets over the curtain rod but with her luck she’d end up breaking the curtain rod and then having no curtain at all. There was nobody around for miles up there. She had nothing to be concerned about. At least that’s what she told herself. Before she could try to change her own mind again, Ashlyn was back.

“Are you ready for me my queen?” she asked in a low, husky voice as she stood in the doorway with her arms full of the toys. All except one.

“Holy shit” Ali breathed out as she turned to face her beautiful wife. She saw the most gorgeous woman in the world standing there naked with a confident smirk on her face and her favorite knobby dildo strapped to her crotch. Every other thought in her head fell away instantly. “Fuck...yes...so much yes...” she moved to the foot of the bed to get closer to her keeper.

Ashlyn gave her a lascivious grin and dropped the other toys onto the bed without taking her eyes off of the brunette. She could see how excited Ali was and she was glad she had guessed correctly about which toy to start with. The keeper met her wife at the foot of the bed and gently traced the German letters on her side when Ali put her arms loosely around the blonde’s neck. She watched as goosebumps appeared all up and down the brunette’s body, then used her other fingertips to move in slow circles around Ali’s breasts. She teased the soft, warm skin there without touching the dark nipples at all. She watched her wife’s eyes darken as she squirmed in front of her, shifting her weight from one leg to the other in an effort to relieve some of the tension between her own legs.

“You want me, huh sexy?” Ashlyn teased, her voice low and her words slow and deliberate as her fingers continued to make her wife shiver and tremble in front of her. “You ready for me to fuck you?” she leaned forward with her hips as she delivered the last sentence, letting the tip of the dildo poke the brunette’s mound and making her whimper.

“Jesus” Ali gasped and closed her eyes for a second as she felt her whole body respond to the sexy strap-on. “I want you. I want you right now...”

Ashlyn didn’t even let her finish. She smashed their mouths together in a searing kiss that deepened and deepened until they were both panting for breath. Their hands roamed all over each other’s arms and backs and asses as their bodies pressed together tightly during the kiss.

“Are you wet for me?” Ashlyn husked out as she felt her own passion pooling between her legs. She reached down Ali’s back with one long arm and dipped her fingertip between her ass cheeks to see for herself, moaning into the brunette’s ear when she felt her abundant passion. 

“God, yes...I’m so wet...so fucking wet...” Ali whined when she felt her keeper’s finger at her soaked entrance. “You always make me a fucking puddle...”

They shared another heated kiss, lips and teeth and tongues searching and possessing each other until they were breathless again. Ashlyn assessed the bed as she continued working her wife up again, driving her towards a frenzy of passion and want that could only be satisfied by the keeper and the temporary appendage between her legs.

“We’re gonna do this my way this time” Ashlyn purred into the brunette’s ear – the sultry delivery of the words juxtaposed with the bossy command. “Understand?” she pinched Ali’s nipple as she asked the question, their bodies still pressed against one another as they stood at the foot of the bed.

“Y-yessss...” Ali moaned at the sharp touch to her breast, hissing out the ‘s’ and closing her eyes again to try and control herself. “Whatever you wa...”

But Ashlyn didn’t let her finish. She spun the brunette around in her arms and then pushed the top half of her body down onto the bed in one quick move.

“Spread your legs out” the keeper instructed, her voice hoarse as desire flooded her system. She pulled Ali’s hips back so the brunette was standing against the foot of the bed and bent over it, her upper body lying flat against the purple sex blanket. “Wider” she smacked the sexiest ass in the world once and watched it jiggle in response as her wife moaned again beneath her.

“Fuck Ashlyn...fuck...fuck...mmmmmm...fuck me baby...mmmmmmm...Jesus Christ...I need you so bad...” Ali turned her cheek to the blanket and reached out wide with both arms to try and hold on to something for what she knew was going to be an amazing ride.

“I’ll fuck you when I’m good and ready” the keeper growled and smacked Ali’s ass again, this time a little bit harder. “Don’t you worry about that.”

Ali wasn’t sure where this Ashlyn had come from but she was very excited to have her there that night. And this position wasn’t one of their most common so it was a nice change too. Their bed at home was a little too tall for Ali to do this and have it work well for them. If her legs had been just a couple inches taller they could do this at home anytime they wanted to. Instead they preferred for Ali to get on her knees on top of the bed with Ashlyn kneeling behind her. Or they would use the big reading pillow that they only ever used for better sex positioning to get a good angle for the best thrusting. Leave it to the sexy keeper to recognize a good opportunity when Ali was having trouble just concentrating on keeping her knees steady and her eyes open. The brunette just hoped there wasn’t too much teasing to get through first. They had all weekend for that and she said a silent prayer that her wife didn’t make her wait too long that first night.

“Yes you will...I know you will baby. You’re gonna fuck me so good...sugar...” Ali added in the southern-tinged nickname that had slowly been included in their everyday banter since the North Carolina trip back in September. Ashlyn used it more often but Ali had a real knack for using it at just the right time.

As soon as the keeper heard the drawl and then the nickname she changed her plans. Instead of a drawn-out episode she grabbed a fistful of her wife’s ass and spread her cheeks apart as she stepped between her legs. She took a handful of her own dripping juices and lubed the dildo up without saying a word, slapping Ali’s ass again and then spreading that cheek out too. She hesitated for only a second, making sure the toy was in the right place, and then plunged the strap-on deep into her wife’s drenched pussy.

“Holy shit!” Ali shouted at the sudden and surprising sensation. She gripped the bed with both hands and pushed her hips back into her keeper for more.

Ashlyn could feel how ready her wife really was and she pumped hard and fast, using her hips and all of her muscles to drive the dildo deep into Ali’s core with every sweet thrust. She held onto the brunette’s hips to keep her in place while the rest of her body rocked along with the powerful pumping.

“Unnnhh...fuck...so goooooood...”

“Yeah it is” Ashlyn slapped Ali’s ass again and then leaned her body forward so her stomach was close against her wife’s back. She pressed kisses into the brunette’s back and shoulder, biting softly on the skin near her neck as she kept up her industrious pace. “Such a sweet pussy. All mine” she grunted out as Ali moaned loudly again.

The keeper pounded into her wife, over and over and over again, the sound of her skin slamming into Ali’s ass and the wet, sloshing from her greedy center making her head spin. She could feel the brunette’s body getting closer to the goal. Her breathing was ragged and her skin had started to sweat just a little bit as she kept her ass up in the air and tried to time her own rocking motion to Ashlyn’s relentless rhythm.

“My clit...please...” Ali begged.

Ashlyn felt her wife’s leg tremble and her body shiver again as they continued their climb. She licked the outer edge of the brunette’s ear and used one hand to play with her breasts, tugging and pinching her nipples just the way Ali liked. As much as the keeper wanted to stay like that for ten or fifteen more minutes, she could also feel her own leg starting to cramp up. Stupid hiking. The blonde kept one hand on Ali’s hip, keeping their bodies close together, and slowly dragged her other hand from the dark nipples down to the sensitive nub between Ali’s legs. They were both sweating now, and moaning and panting together.

“Come on baby...”

“Yess! Unnhhh...oh God...more...mmmmm... faster...my clit...unnhhh...harder...”

Ashlyn’s fingers rubbed Ali’s clit while her hips kept driving the dildo, with all her wife’s favorite knobs on it, as fast and hard as she could still manage. Ali stopped rocking to meet the blonde as the powerful orgasm got closer and closer. Just a few more seconds of purposeful rubbing and one more jolt into her g-spot brought her right to the top of the mountain.

“Fuck! Al! Unnnhhhh...” Ashlyn groaned louder than ever before as she felt the brunette’s silken walls grabbing and squeezing tightly, making it more and more difficult to move inside them.

“Yeeesssss!!” Ali shouted as she tumbled over the edge and into ecstasy.

Both of her legs shook violently as the orgasm ripped through her and she let them go limp, hoping the top half of her body on top of the bed would be enough to hold herself in place. She needn’t have worried though. Ashlyn slowed her pace way down but stayed inside the brunette, helping to hold her up with a hand on each hip.

“Yeah gorgeous, that’s it” she purred like a satisfied cat as she watched Ali’s beautiful body eventually come to rest, only her lungs filling again and again causing her body to move. “Incredible” she shook her head in amazement. “You’re just...incredible.” Ashlyn bent over again and peppered Ali’s back with sweet and tender kisses, humming into them and giving her an occasional lick while she was at it. “Come on, let’s get on the bed now” she pulled the dildo out and helped her wife crawl onto the bed where she collapsed down onto her stomach again with another satisfied moan.

“God you’re so good with that” she chuckled, still out of breath as she tugged Ashlyn up to join her in the middle of the bed. “You just made sure we’re not going hiking tomorrow” she laughed again. “I won’t be able to walk!”

“Are you complaining right now?” Ashlyn teased, resting on her side, facing her wife, her head propped up on her arm. The strap-on was still in place and it rested between their bodies on the bed

“Absolutely not” Ali pulled Ashlyn’s free hand to her and gently kissed her knuckles as they shared a lazy smile. “That was soooo good” she closed her eyes and sighed as her body continued to recover.

Ashlyn couldn’t resist the allure of her wife’s naked body and she got on her hands and knees, perpendicular to her wife, and placed feather soft kisses up Ali’s bare back. Ali sighed contentedly and was about to close her eyes to enjoy the wonderful touches when she caught sight of the dildo still attached to her wife.

“Your skin is so soft...I could kiss it all night long” the keeper cooed as she got her left hand involved with gentle touches to Ali’s lower back. “So fucking beautiful...”

Ali rolled over and sat up, staying right next to her sexy keeper. She reached for Ashlyn’s hip and pulled her closer still. She knew the blonde must be aching inside and felt a swell of love for how patient and sweet she was being despite her own need.

“I’d better just get this cleaned up for you” her voice was thick and her words dripped with desire as she dropped her eyes to the toy with the knobs on it.

“What if I wanna taste you and clean it up?” Ashlyn countered with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. She reached for the buckle to remove the harness but the brunette stopped her.

“No, don’t. Leave it on” Ali got on her knees and squared their bodies up so they were facing each other in the middle of the bed. She bent down and licked the tip of the toy while keeping a firm grip on Ashlyn’s hip. “Mmmmmm...” she moaned, but wished it tasted like her keeper. But this wasn’t about her tasting the dildo. This was for her wife.

Ashlyn couldn’t help but be surprised. Ali had, over time, come to love licking the strap-on after it had been inside the keeper, but she had never been a big fan of sucking it off after they had used it. She knew it went back to Ali’s earliest days of sex with guys and how she never felt like the guys cared who or what was giving them the blow job. Both Ashlyn and Ali had sucked the dildo off while their wife wore it in the past, but it wasn’t a common part of their repertoire. Not by a longshot. But the keeper couldn’t lie, it felt awesome when Ali put pressure on the toy and forced the base of the dildo back into her own clit. She opened her mouth to tell the brunette to stop, or not to bother, but all that came out was a low, desperate groan instead.

“Damn baby...that’s so good” she moaned and tried to keep her balance while kneeling on the bed with Ali pushing against the toy and rubbing one hand up and down the inside of her thighs. “Fuck...”

Both women knew the keeper was close to her orgasm. They had both been in her position before and knew how great the dildo felt as it pressed back into your clit while you were thrusting inside your wife. And there was nothing that turned either of them on more than making the other one come. Ashlyn was so worked up that she was already whining and whimpering. It got louder as Ali got her hands involved in the fun, playing with her keeper’s opening and soaking wet folds. 

“Can you stand up?” the brunette husked out, voice choked with lust.

Ashlyn gave her a hazy nod and got to her feet, unsteady until she moved up to hold onto the top of the headboard.

“I...need to hold on...” she managed to get out as her whole being started to concentrate on the orgasm that wasn’t too far away.

“Well you’d better then” Ali’s sexy chuckle filled the thick air around them. 

The brunette moved with her and knelt in front of her again, mouth going back to work on the dildo and giving Ashlyn’s clit more delicious pressure. They were both next to the headboard and Ashlyn held on to it tightly with one hand. Ali moved her right hand back and forth between her wife’s legs, mesmerized by how wet she was. As Ashlyn let out another long moan, Ali pushed two fingers up into her pulsing core and began slowly stroking her.

“Oh yeah. Jesus...that’s it...yessss...”

Ali wrapped her left arm around her wife’s hip to hold her steady and keep her close while her mouth and other hand kept up their work.

“Mmmmm...fuck you’re hot” the brunette mumbled against the shaft of the dildo and let her lips move all the way to the base where they found Ashlyn’s warm skin. She breathed in deeply, loving the scent of her wife and wanting so much more of it. What had seemed like a good idea a few minutes ago, now seemed like an obstacle between her eager mouth and Ashlyn’s inviting pussy. “God you smell good...mmmmm...Jesus baby...so fucking good...”

Ashlyn wordlessly unbuckled the harness and let it and the strap-on slide down her hips. Ali didn’t catch on right away but once she did, she helped her wife step out of it with one leg before pressing her whole face into the keeper’s sexy crotch.

“Oh God” Ashlyn made a noise that was part yelp and part glorious sigh as she spread her legs a little wider for her wife.

Ali continued to thrust with one hand while she licked and sucked every other part of Ashlyn’s pussy with enthusiasm and determination. There wasn’t an inch of skin she missed as she worked up to her clit and back down, carefully avoiding her other hand that was still pumping up into her entrance with medium power and pace.

“Mmmm...yeah...so good...mmmmm...God I love this...” she hummed and moaned into Ashlyn’s softest flesh as she increased her speed the more worked up she herself got as she took care of her gorgeous keeper.

“Unnnhhh...fuck...yeah...right there...mmmmm...”

“Mmmm...so fucking sweet...I love the way you taste...the way you feel when I fuck you like this...”

It was all Ashlyn could do to hold onto the headboard as her orgasm started to coil deep in her belly. She knew she was close but she couldn’t get her mouth to work well enough to tell the brunette. After another few minutes of faster pumping and harder sucking she came with a loud shout.

She cried out a stream of curse words and doubled over as her entire body shook. She pushed her wife’s face away from her clit with her other hand and tried to stay on her feet through the glorious rush of pleasure that washed over her entire body. “Oh my God” she grunted and clung to the headboard, her eyes squeezed shut and her body flailing.

Ali guided her to the bed and ended up cradling the keeper in her lap as they both panted and smiled at each other. She held Ashlyn as her body shook through a couple of big aftershocks, loving the way her keeper’s body felt right up against her own. When it was over, Ashlyn’s head was in the crook of Ali’s arm and the brunette bent down to kiss her quivering lips.

“Hi” she said softly as she pulled back from the sweet kiss.

“Hey beautiful” Ashlyn replied with a roguish smile.

“Hey beautiful yourself” Ali giggled and gave her another kiss. “That was a good one huh?” there was a pleased twinkle in her eye as she asked the rhetorical question.

“The fucking best. Thank you honey. Goddamn” she chuckled as her breathing began to return to normal. “That was hot.”

“You’re hot, All-star. The hottest” Ali let her free hand trace across her wife’s slightly sweaty skin. Her fingertips found the tattoos on her right arm, her half-sleeve. “Happy Birthday baby. I love you.”


	25. Losing It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning

Ashlyn and Ali slept late Sunday morning after spending hours having sex the night before. They had both been tired when they began their sexy times, but every time they tried to stop and go to sleep for the night, one of them would touch the other in just the right way and they’d get all worked up again. It had started out fast and furious with sex toys and gradually turned into the lazy, lovely, worshipful lovemaking that only came with plenty of time to spend. It had been incredible and they had both gotten their fill, and then some. The only reason they got out of bed Sunday morning at all was because they were starving. The cabin was chilly because they hadn’t turned the heat up the night before. Generally, by November 11th in New England the temperatures were already starting to get much cooler. The average high temperature was usually in the mid 50’s and the low temps at night could get down to the mid 30’s. But that year had been unseasonably warm and that weekend was no exception. The cabin Sunday morning was in the low 50s and that was still pretty cold to be lying around naked in. And that’s precisely what the vacationing married couple was doing. 

“This bed is so cozy right now, I don’t ever want either of us to leave it” Ali sighed happily as she cuddled into her wife, spooning her from behind and loving the way their naked skin felt together under the covers.

“Well we’re gonna have to pee and eat soon baby. But how about we jump right back in here when we’re done with that?” she pulled her wife’s hand, the one draped across her own chest, up to her lips and kissed it. 

“Nope. Need a better plan. That one sucks.”

“Oh really? What’s your great idea then?” the keeper chuckled and gently poked the brunette in the side.

“Don’t tickle me or I’ll pee the bed” Ali’s voice was low and serious.

“Well we didn’t pack any catheters or bedpans so...”

“Ha ha, very funny” Ali tried to pout but she was in too good of a mood and couldn’t keep from smiling. 

“I could toot right now” Ashlyn turned her head to the side to try and see her wife’s reaction. “That would get you up and out of this bed pretty quick” she laughed.

“Don’t you dare” the brunette smacked her keeper’s hip as a stern warning.

“Hey, careful there” Ashlyn chuckled. “I’ve been holding one in for a while now. You don’t want to jostle it out of there, do you?”

They both laughed and repositioned themselves so they were face to face, still wrapped around each other as much as possible.

“Man, I’m sore already” Ali whined as she pushed her wife’s knee a little farther away from her crotch. “Way to show some restraint on our first night Harris.”

“Me?” Ashlyn pulled her face back with an incredulous look. “You’re the one who brought the toys. Don’t look at me.”

“Oh like you wouldn’t have brought them if I didn’t.”

“Yeah alright you got me there” she giggled and pressed loud sloppy smooches into Ali’s cheeks and finally her lips. “Want me to run you a bath? I’ll make breakfast and you have a little soak. How does that sound?”

“Mmmm, that sounds nice” the brunette smiled and gave her wife a kiss of her own, ignoring the morning breath they were both sporting. “But it’s your birthday weekend. I’ll run you a bath and make breakfast. Although it’s 10:15am so let’s call it brunch” she giggled.

“Honey, you planned this whole weekend for me and I love it. You’ve done enough. You don’t have to wait on me hand and foot too. Let me do this, ok?”

The truth was that Ali had to involve Ashlyn in the planning whether she wanted to or not. She wanted her input in the food choices and beverage choices for the weekend and ended up telling her all about the glamping cabins. It was only practical to decide what they might want to do while they were up there so they could bring the right clothes and not have to carry up a whole bunch of extra things that they weren’t even going to use. Planning the details together allowed them to travel lighter and waste less time trying to figure out what they wanted to do.

“Ok, but tomorrow morning I’m doing it for you. Deal?” Ali quirked her eyebrow at her grinning wife.

“Such a deal.”

 

**********

11-11-29

Fuck this shit. I hate fucking sleeping in my car. The only person in the world I would do this for is Ali. Fuck. I feel horrible. My back hurts. My neck hurts. My head feels fuzzy. I’m pissed. I did sooooo good yesterday too. I followed them all the way to Mt Toby in Sunderland. Man, I was glad they spent some time up at the waterfall cuz I needed a few minutes of my own to deal with the flashback. I remember Ali bringing me to see that waterfall back when we first started dating. It was a big deal because it was a long drive and we hadn’t been going out for that long. Those long drives can either be really great or really horrible. Lol. Ours was really great. Fuck!!!!! What am I doing?? Keep it together you idiot. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t look back.

So here I am at the bus station in North Adams. I lost her here, well, in North Adams, last night when she got off Rt 2. I’m pretty sure they went South but I have no idea to where. At least here I know I’m close to her. Ali always liked the Berkshires and the Clark especially. I’ll bet she’s gonna bring Ash there today. It’s just a hunch. But I’ll bet that’s the plan. Hopefully somebody will post something on social media so I know for sure. Now I just have to get there and wait for them. Then I can follow them from there. Hopefully it’ll be during the daytime so I can fucking see where I’m going. Lol. It’s not really funny. I’m pissed off that I lost her last night. And I’m pissed that she took off again. I’ve had enough of Ali taking off for weekends or weeks at a time. She did it to me in North Carolina and with the NH lake trip and then the Academy trip. Fuck you Ali!! You’re not getting away with it again. Not this time. No fucking way. 

I’m just glad I’m smart enough to keep an overnight bag in my car now. My old girl scout leader would be so proud of me for being so prepared. Ha ha ha.

Alright. I’ve gotta go get cleaned up, eat some breakfast and charge my phone. Let’s do this!!

 

**********

 

Ali and Ashlyn managed to get dressed after eating their delicious brunch and had decided what to do with their day as well. They had definitely gone too hard the night before and both bodies needed a break from sex. Sad but true. They were surprisingly lazy about the day though, which was unusual. Typically one or the other of them would motivate the other one out of their sluggishness and into whatever activity had been planned. That Sunday they were both feeling lazy and decided to go with their rainy day back-up plan instead. 

“Are you sure it’s ok?” Ali questioned one last time as they started the 30-minute hike down to the Jeep in the parking lot. “We can go do the other hike if you want, not the big one but the other one...”

“Al, I’m totally fine with our plan” Ashlyn chuckled as she took the arm her wife had been pointing at the mountain with and curled it into a hug and a kiss on the lips. “I’m excited actually. I’ve always wanted to go to the Clark and just haven’t made it there yet. Let’s go!”

The Clark Art Institute was one of the best museums in New England but it didn’t get half the attention the others did, simply because of its location. Williamstown, MA was in the far left upper corner of the state and was a 3-1/2 hour drive from Boston. It was a beautiful museum set on a sprawling lot in the picturesque Berkshires that was best known for its works of French Impressionism, academic paintings, and its collection of European and American silver. The Clark housed temporary exhibits all the time too and had been expanding its collection of photography in recent years. It was always worth the drive. Ali had never regretted it once. And since they were already practically there, it seemed like a no-brainer to go check it out. If Ashlyn didn’t like it then they would just go do something else.

“Wow, this place is amazing” the keeper enthused as the shuttle bus carried them past the main campus to the upper campus of the museum grounds. “Look how gorgeous this is” she turned to make sure the brunette was taking in the view. “It’s a reflecting pool!”

Ali smiled at her wife’s enthusiasm and took a couple of quick pictures of the adorably enthralled blonde as she gazed at the shallow reflecting pool that had lilypads and other aquaponic flowers and features on display. The reflecting pool was heated by solar panels on the bottom so the water temperature stayed hospitable to the floating flowers and plants. There was a domed cover that was installed over it before Thanksgiving, in anticipation of the sometimes-brutal New England winters. 

Their visit that day was fortuitous on two counts: one was the still-beautiful reflecting pool, and two was the James McNeill Whistler temporary exhibition that would be ending the very next day. Neither Ashlyn nor Ali had any idea the Whistler exhibit was there. It was a big deal. It was usually housed in the Musee d’Orsay in Paris, France and was being loaned out to only two American museums that year. The Clark and the Art Institute of Chicago. They had stumbled into good fortune and Ashlyn reminded her wife that they were only seeing it because of their mutual laziness. The main draw for the exhibit was, of course, the masterpiece known as ‘Whistler’s Mother’. 

Ali loved to watch her wife take in beautiful things. Or things she thought were beautiful. It was honestly one of the brunette’s favorite things in the world. Ashlyn had this innocence about her that came out when she was really moved by something or someone. It was completely the opposite of her outward appearance and Ali loved the juxtaposition. The keeper moved carefully through the exhibit and was eager and excited as they waited in line to see the masterpiece at the end of the smaller upper campus building.

“You having a good time so far?” the brunette bumped shoulders with her wife and smiled sweetly into her grinning face as they waited in line.

“I am” Ashlyn’s eyes lit up. “This place is great. And we haven’t even been to the main building yet! I can’t wait to see everything down there.”

Before they wandered through the main building, they ended up eating a late, light lunch at the museum café and enjoyed it out by the reflecting pool. The sun warmed the day up to a very comfortable 66 degrees and the two women couldn’t have been happier than to sit there together enjoying the beautiful weather, atmosphere and company. Sometimes plan B was the best plan after all.

 

**********

11-11-29 (cont)

She’s here!!! She’s fucking here! I knew it! I just knew it! I knew there was no way Ali would come all the way out here and not go to the Clark. Ha! That’s my girl. God I love her so much. Ash posted a pic of the two of them out by the reflecting pool and tagged the Clark. She used #belatedbirthdayweekend too. Yesssss!!!!! 

I’m tempted to go inside and try to find Ali, but then I run the risk of missing her leaving and I’m stuck not knowing where they are again. THAT will not be happening. Lol. Nope. I’m just gonna sit tight here and wait for them to leave. Ash probably hates museums and culture and things like that so I’m sure they won’t be in there for very long. Lol. I wonder how much it bothers Ali to be with someone who is so trashy? It must drive her crazy. She was never a snob about anything – I mean, her family didn’t have the money that mine did or anything but still, she was always patient and forgiving about friends and classmates who weren’t as polished as we were. That’s why I think it’s so odd that she settled for a dumb jock who judges lesbian wet t-shirt contests and cheats on her. What the fuck Ali? What happened to you?

Oh for fuck’s sake...they’ve been in there for hours now. Jesus Christ I’ll be 100 by the time they ever leave. I’m starving too. But I know as soon as I go do something else – they’ll fucking leave the parking lot and I’ll miss them. Nope. I’m just gonna have to suck it up. I can do it. Ali’s worth it. I love her so much.

**********

 

“I’ll be out in just a minute, ok just five minutes” Ali laughed over her shoulder as she trotted into the welcome center at Mt Greylock that afternoon. 

It was 3:30pm and they had just returned from their visit to the museum and Ashlyn was eager to get back to some one-on-one time. She also wanted to sketch her beautiful brunette, inspired, as always, by the art she had just seen. But instead of starting their hike up the trail to the cabin, the brunette wanted to make a quick stop.

“If they have gummies, get me some!” Ashlyn yelled out the window and then chuckled to herself as she made a call to check in on the kids.

 

**********

11-11-29 (cont)

I don’t know what’s going on here but I think...I think they’re staying here. ? I wouldn’t have pegged them for campers. Lol. Interesting. What is Ash forcing Ali into now. God she’s such a piece of shit. She’s gonna make Ali camp for her belated birthday weekend? That’s crappy. I don’t see any campsites or anything though. I’m so confused. Ali went into the info center and I feel like I should too, but I can’t risk it. I have no idea what’s going on here though. I have to be able to react fast and I just don’t feel like I have the info I need to do that. I’m starting to get a little panicky. My chest is really pounding. Stay calm. Just breathe. Breathe. Deep breaths.

Shit! Here comes Ali again. That was fast. She and Ash are starting to walk up one of the trails. Fuck! What do I do????????

Ok...so the very helpful lady in the welcome center explained to me how the camping works. There are campsites and then there are cabins. She walked me through the map and from the direction Ali went in, it looks like they’re in one of the cabins. Sigh... Thanks for making it easy sweetie! Lol. The trail they went up leads to four different cabins and they’re all fucking spread out. If I get lucky and pick the right one, then I’m all set. If not, I’ll have to keep going to the next one until I find her. It’s already 4:00pm and it’ll get dark soon so I can’t fuck around now. I can’t believe she’s got me fucking hiking just to find her ha ha ha. Joke’s on me I guess. Thank God I’m wearing sneakers. And thank God it’s not freezing cold out yet. That would totally suck. Wow. What the hell am I gonna do once it gets really cold? And what happens if somebody finally buys that ‘for sale’ house across from Ali’s house? Fuck. I haven’t thought that far ahead. What will I do then???

Focus!!! Damn I get so distracted sometimes. Focus! One thing at a time. Just find your girl here right now. That’s the only thing to worry about right now. Stay focused and concentrate. I miss my necklace. Feeling that smooth cross between my fingers would really calm me down right now. Oh well. That’s a job for another day. 

**********

 

“See? Now we can actually go on a short hike tomorrow morning if we want to” Ali pecked her wife’s lips and smiled. “And you got some gummy worms out of the deal too. Such a deal!” she laughed and let Ashlyn pull her down onto her lap as they sat on the couch in the cozy glamping cabin.

“Always looking out for me, aren’t you sugarplum?” she held the brunette in her arms once she was across her lap. Ashlyn gazed down into those whiskey-colored eyes she loved so much and grinned when she saw Ali’s nose-crinkling smile fill her face. “Thank you for the gummy worms. And thank you for getting the details for the short hiking trail. You’re too good to me baby.”

“How are things at home or should I not ask?” Ali chuckled. “You haven’t said anything so that means everything’s fine or you didn’t actually talk to anybody...”

“No, I got Carm. They’re good. Drew convinced them that he could stay up as late as he wanted as long as he was reading...”

“What? That little bugger” Ali laughed and then frowned. “I told them the bedtime routine” she shook her head, disappointed in her friends for getting fooled by their son on the first night.

“Well he can be pretty convincing. And it sounds like something you’d do. I probably would have fallen for it too” the keeper giggled and gave her wife a kiss. She saw the frustration in her eyes when she pulled back. “Don’t worry. I straightened it out. And other than that, everything’s good.”

“And Logan?”

“Super cute” she giggled again. “I guess Maisy is just in love with her. She’s never seen such a young puppy before and she just can’t get enough. Carm said to tell you that Erica’s going to kill you.”

“Hey, this one’s not on me” the brunette shook her head and laughed. “I didn’t ask Erica to babysit – they did. It’s not my fault her kid fell in love with the puppy and now probably wants one of her own.”

They were quiet for a minute as they held hands and let their fingers play together on Ali’s chest.

“That’s two gorgeous sunsets in a row we’ve had up here. Pretty amazing ones too” the keeper smiled as they both looked out the big picture window at the mountain in front of them.

“Yesterday’s sunset was in the car so I pick today’s as my favorite” Ali added with a soft smile.

“Jeep. It’s a Jeep, not a car. Jesus woman. How many times do I have to tell you that? You’re too smart to be making the same mistake after 13 years so that means you’re doing it just to mess with me” she quirked her eyebrow playfully at the brunette and started tickling her sides and making Ali squeal and squirm on her lap.

“Don’t!” she giggled. “I’m sorry...it’s not on purpose I swear...I called my truck a car half the time too...” she gasped out between tickles and squeals and squirms. “It’s just what I say, I’m not messing with you!”

“Alright, I have heard you call your truck a car before” Ashlyn nodded and pursed her lips as she considered the argument. “So you’re not messing with me?”

“No, I swear” Ali answered breathlessly. “I just wasn’t thinking. I’m on vacation with my hot wife. Why the hell would I be thinking about cars or Jeeps or trucks?” she pulled Ashlyn’s face down to her with one hand behind her neck. “Now shut up and kiss me before I say car again.”

They spent another hour making out on the couch, keeping things clean and safe for the time being. They both knew they were going to have sex again that night but they also knew they wouldn’t be as vigorous as the night before. They wanted to wait and make it special. Spend the rest of the evening as foreplay and have fun flirting with each other while they made and ate and cleaned up dinner. Ashlyn went out and brought in a bunch of firewood and started a nice fire while Ali made dinner. They were both dressed casually in jeans and soft sweaters with long-sleeved t-shirts beneath. They were happy and relaxed and comfortable and the cozy little cabin was a big reason why. It was nice to be able to talk to each other from the kitchen and the living room without even raising their voices. It was intimate and romantic. They talked all through dinner – getting caught up with each other on Drew’s therapy, Ali’s progress with Mattie on overcoming her Chris Harris fear, the challenges of training a puppy with kids around, what to get Whitney for her birthday in two weeks, more thoughts about their visit to the Clark, and finally, Ali’s secret admirer.

“I just want it taken care of. I want it done and finished so we don’t have to think about it anymore” Ashlyn exhaled as she leaned back away from her empty plate on the table. “How the hell long does it take for fingerprints to come back anyway? This is getting ridiculous now.”

“I know babe, I’m frustrated too. But there was always the chance that her fingerprints weren’t in the database already.”

“Well then they should tell us that. This ‘inconclusive’ bullshit is bullshit” the keeper vented her frustration as her temper spiked.

“I know. It feels like a copout” Ali agreed, finishing the last bite of chicken and asparagus on her plate. “Did you get a print or not? Yes or no. Then we can talk about whether or not there’s a match. Why can’t they just tell us if they have a fucking print or not?”

“Ok” Ashlyn sighed loudly and shook her head to clear it from that dark place. “We’re doing everything we can. You and Whit and Marcy are bringing the letters to the cops and they’re reviewing the camera footage and ‘investigating’ at the post office. The kids are safe and we’re just going to be patient until they figure it out. We can do that.”

“Yeah, we can do that” Ali nodded with a grateful smile. “Thanks for being my rock through all of this. It means a lot.”

“We’re always better and stronger when we work together Al. We fuck it up sometimes and forget that, but it’s the truth. And we’re tag-teaming the shit out of this one. And I’m not letting that creep ruin our weekend. So no more thinking or talking about your stupid secret admirer. Agreed?”

“Yes ma’am. Absolutely” Ali leaned across the table and Ashlyn met her lips there with a soft kiss as she stroked her cheek with her long thumb.

They smiled at each other as they leaned their foreheads together for a few seconds after the kiss.

“Are you still wearing yours?” the keeper smirked.

“I am” Ali nodded again and grinned broadly, her voice lower. “And you?”

“Hell yes I am” Ashlyn chuckled. “Bringing in the firewood and getting the fire started was a challenge. I almost lost one but managed to hold on.”

“Oooh, very impressive” Ali kissed her wife’s lips again before leaning back and getting up with the dirty dishes. “Let me clean these up and then we can move on to the evening activities” she wagged her eyebrows.

After watching the sunset and making out on the couch, the happy couple had decided to prolong the pleasure they were both anticipating that night. Ali suggested using the ben wa balls and Ashlyn agreed quickly. They went separately into the bathroom and bedroom to put them in, trying to keep things at a low boil for as long as possible. Seeing each other’s intimate parts at that stage of the game would have made that impossible.

Two hours after the ben wa fun began, Ashlyn sat and watched her wife cleaning up the kitchen, observing every move from her seat in the small dining room banquette seat that faced the rest of the cabin. There was music playing from her portable speakers and Ali moved to the beat as she washed the dishes and wiped down the countertops. When she got to the stove top that was right behind the seat she had been sitting in to eat dinner, she caught the keeper’s eye and smiled brightly.

“What? Are you enjoying the show?” she raised her eyebrows and blew the blonde a kiss with a wink and shoulder pop and her favorite duck face pout.

“Always baby, always” Ashlyn blinked back, completely enthralled by her adorable, beautiful, sexy wife.

“Come dance with me” the brunette extended her hand after tossing the sponge back into the clean sink. “I’ll put those away in the morning” she nodded at the clean dishes and backed up into the middle of the small kitchen space, never taking her eyes off of her wife.

“How come dancing in the kitchen is always so much more fun than dancing anywhere else?” Ashlyn asked softly as she took her wife in her arms and spun them around slowly. 

“Hmmmm” Ali hummed as she breathed in her favorite scent – slightly sweaty keeper mixed with her shampoo and, somehow even in the wooded mountain in November, the ocean. “Maybe because we did it on our very first date and nothing’s ever been better than that.”

“Oh man, that was such an incredible night. Everything about it was perfect” Ashlyn kissed her wife’s lips and then held her long arm up high so Ali could twirl around for her.

“Perfect?” Ali chuckled. “That’s what I love about you, you always remember the good things best. I’ve tried to be better about it ever since I met you, but I still can’t do it anywhere near as well as you.”

“What are you talking about? That date was perfect” she tucked the brunette back into her chest as they continued dancing together, holding each other close. 

“Honey, it was awesome but it was not perfect” Ali laughed. “The first thing that happened when I walked into the kitchen was you burning your finger when you were lighting the candles” she giggled.

“Oh yeah, God, I remember that. What I remember more is how gorgeous you looked when you walked into that room. That’s why I burned my finger – I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”

“I felt the same way, except I wasn’t holding a match in my hand at the time” they both laughed.

“Oh and I totally freaked out when we started to eat because we weren’t talking! I was so nervous!” Ashlyn laughed out loud and then squeezed her legs together and stopped moving for a couple of seconds while Ali quirked her eyebrow at her. “Whew, almost lost one. Quit making me laugh woman, that’s cheating.”

“Babe, I had nothing to do with that, but that was a nice save” she slowly squeezed her wife’s butt and then patted it before sliding her hand right into the back pocket of Ashlyn’s jeans and leaving it there.

“Hey now, I thought we were stretching things out tonight?” Ashlyn gave her wife an amused and accusing look.

“We are. Everything feels really good” Ali gave her neck another soft kiss. “You’re just hard to resist, that’s all. Always have been, always will be.”

“So sweet baby, so sweet” the keeper brought their lips together in a slow, deep kiss that made both their hearts race.

“Whoa” Ali gave her girl a hazy, horny smile as they pulled apart. “What happened to stretching things out?”

“I’m trying” Ashlyn whined and then closed her eyes to regain some control over her libido.

“Still wanna take a shower with me?” the brunette giggled, mentioning the next part of their planned-out evening.

“I really really wanna take a shower with you. But just showering right, I mean, touches and kisses but nothing more, right?” she clarified the rules they had agreed upon.

“We don’t have to Ash...” 

“No, I want to” the keeper nodded her head and set her jaw at the same time. “It’s always worth it. Always. It just almost kills me to get there” she chuckled. “But it’s worth it” she kissed Ali again, deeply, and then mumbled against her lips as they caught their breath. “Besides, it’s the best way to make you squirt.”

Both pairs of eyes darkened at that thought and they were quiet for a minute as they willed themselves to stay strong.

“Maybe we don’t wait tonight...” Ali started to cave, unable to block the powerful pull of the woman she loved.

“No, we’ll wait” Ashlyn nodded again. “At least through the shower. We can do it. It’ll be worth it” she swallowed hard as she steeled her resolve.

It was tough going once they were both naked and washing the other’s soft skin under the warm, soothing water. If they had been at home and trying to keep their shower chaste it would have been much harder because the square glass shower was smaller than the regular tub-sized shower they found themselves in that Sunday evening. With the bigger shower there was room for one of them to take a step back and center themselves again before continuing the sensual cleansing and rinsing and touching. They tenderly dried each other off and then walked naked to the fireplace in the main room. Ali spread a blanket out on the floor, self-consciously turning the lights off at the same time, while Ashlyn tended to the fire.

“Since when do we do this in the dark?” Ashlyn quirked her eyebrow at her wife as she lay down next to her, facing her as they were both on their sides.

“Since there’s not even a curtain in that huge window” Ali pointed at the picture window. 

“Sugarplum, there’s not even anybody up here. That’s the whole point of these cabins, isn’t it?” the keeper cocked her head at her wife and placed a sweet kiss on her lips.

“I know, but...”

“Yeah, I know” Ashlyn chuckled as she ran her hand down the side of the brunette’s body, resting it on her hip and gently squeezing. “It kills you that there aren’t any blinds or anything in the rest of the windows too. I know it does.”

“I’m sorry, I’m trying...”

“Don’t be sorry honey. You’re adorable. If you’re not comfortable here then we should move back to the bedroom...”

“But I love your fire” Ali purred as she pulled Ashlyn into another romantic kiss. “I really wanna stay here.”

“Ok” Ashlyn pulled back and studied her wife’s beautiful, flushed face. “But you have to promise to tell me if it’s too much. We’ll just move to the bedroom, ok?”

“Ok” Ali nodded and bit her lip. “Kiss me.”

“Do you promise Al?” Ashlyn resisted, wanting to make sure her wife didn’t sacrifice her own comfort for the sake of romance or Ashlyn’s birthday weekend or whatever ideal she had determined in her head.

“Fine, I promise” the brunette giggled. “Thanks babe.”

“Don’t thank me...yet” Ashlyn smirked and pulled her wife into a heated kiss, trying to keep her hands out of too much trouble until they were officially a go for the good stuff.

They made out and gave each other brief massages and kissed and licked and sucked one another from head to foot, avoiding the nipples and vulvas for the time being. It was a deliciously enticing tease that they both enjoyed, as painful as it sometimes was. An hour went by in the blink of an eye and they were both insanely turned on. Ashlyn felt dizzy from the lust coursing through her body and Ali swore she couldn’t feel if the ben wa balls were even still inside her or not because she was so wet and ready. Ashlyn crossed the line first and finally let her tongue find one of the dark nipples that had been so tantalizingly off-limits. Ali arched her back into the long-awaited contact and felt like she might actually faint as her body surged towards the euphoria it knew was one-step closer. They were both still lying on their sides, facing each other and when Ali opened her eyes a second later, instead of seeing her wife’s face she saw the dark expanse of glass from the picture window. Their reflection was mirrored back from the dancing firelight that filled the room.

“Babe...”

“Mmmmm...so perfect” Ashlyn moaned as she started to get lost in her wife’s nipples, moving her mouth from the first to the second with satisfied groans.

“Babe...I can’t...”

“What? I thought we were there baby? I know we’re waiting but I can only go for so long and I just had to have your nipple in my mouth...”

“No, not that” Ali chuckled softly and cupped her confused wife’s cheek. “I can’t” she pointed over Ashlyn’s shoulder at the big window, “with that. I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, thank God” Ashlyn exhaled and playfully rolled her eyes. She was relieved that Ali’s hesitation wasn’t about moving forward with the sex. “Get up then cuz I’m about to own you and if you don’t want it to happen here then get moving” she teased as she slowly got to her feet, careful not to lose either of the ben wa balls in her vagina.

“I’m sorry...” Ali tried to apologize again, allowing her keeper to help her up and lead her by the hand into the bedroom at the back of the cabin.

“Quit it will you?” the keeper fixed her wife with a stern look as they both went to opposite sides of the bed and pulled all the covers down to the foot of it. “Fuck, the blanket” she complained as she moved as quickly as she could back to the living room to retrieve their purple sex blanket. “Here” she tossed it to Ali and then stood, shifting her weight and squinting.

“You ok?” the brunette frowned at her wife as she spread the blanket out over the bed. 

It was true the ben wa balls often led to her squirting and the special purple blanket would come in very handy that night. When Ali squirted it was just a small amount of come – not the gallon of gushing liquid you could see in the porn videos online. 

“Yeah, just...I can’t tell if I have to pee or if I need to get these babies out of me or what” Ashlyn squinted again and put her hands between her legs for a few seconds.

“Hey, I get to take those out, you know the rules” Ali’s husky voice got the blonde’s attention. “Just get over here and let me get my hands on you” she climbed onto the bed and lay on her side again, patting the bed in front of her and licking her lips seductively.

Ashlyn couldn’t stand it. She joined her wife on the bed as quickly as possible and went right back to sucking and licking her nipples. The lights were still off in the room and neither of them thought to turn them on, even though they did usually have sex with the lights on. They were too far gone to care anymore. Their eyes had adjusted to the firelit darkness of the living room and this wasn’t much different. The light from the bathroom bled into the bedroom and achieved about the same effect. All they cared about at that moment was the sounds and scents and tastes of skin that was filled with goosebumps and anticipation.

“Fuck that feels so good” Ali moaned loudly, loving the fact that she could truly be as loud as she wanted there in the isolated cabin. “Yesss baby...suck them, harder...mmmmmmm...” she pulled Ashlyn’s head closer to her chest and ran her hands down her keeper’s side. 

Ali let the back of her hand fall from Ashlyn’s hip down past the top of her short hairs and felt a thrill at the new sensation. That rough texture compared to everything else on her keeper’s smooth body made the brunette’s heart race almost instantly. Ashlyn felt it too. She stopped what she was doing momentarily to let the pleasurable feeling spread up her body. She clenched hard, thankful for all the kegel exercises she had been doing since she had been pregnant with the twins, and managed to keep both ben wa balls inside her. She knew it wasn’t going to be for long though. She was way too wet and worked up. She focused on the beautiful brunette and tried to hold herself together.

“You like that baby?” she mumbled into her wife’s breast, gently nipping the soft skin and then sucking hard on the nipple again. “Mmmmmmm...I love it too” she pushed Ali over so she was flat on her back and then moved quickly from one breast to the other, making the brunette’s head spin.

“Oh Ashlyn” she gasped as she clawed at the back of her keeper. She pressed her head back into the bed, arching her back again and tugging on her wife’s short hair at her neck.

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m gonna make you come so hard, baby...so fucking hard...”

Ali pushed her wife’s head away and waited for a few seconds until they were sharing the same intense gaze.

“Together. I want to come together, can we try that?”

Ashlyn felt her stomach flip flop when she heard her wife’s passionate words. She knew that Ali didn’t really care about coming at the same time. It was always nice when it happened but the brunette didn’t get upset if it didn’t. The keeper had always been the one with the mission to bring them simultaneous orgasms. She knew that Ali was trying to make it happen for her that night, their special night, for her birthday weekend, and it made her love the brunette even more. Ashlyn didn’t say anything. The look of devotion on both faces did all the talking necessary.

They shifted positions as if they were going to do the usual 69 position on their sides. That’s how they normally finished off their ben wa experiences and it worked great and they both loved it. But that night, Ali pushed her wife over onto her back and got on top of her once they were 69. 

“Are you sure?” Ashlyn asked, her eyes wide at the idea. It was hard to keep the ben wa balls inside when you were upside down like Ali was going to be. Gravity was a real bitch.

“So fucking sure...” Ali purred back her response and gave her wife a sexy wink.

Ali backed up so their mouths were closer to the other’s breast so they could get some more nipple-play going. The brunette didn’t need any more stimulation or foreplay, and she was pretty sure Ashlyn didn’t either, but she wanted to be very sure. Besides, sucking her keeper’s pretty pink nipples was always a pleasure.

“Oh yeah, fuck...” Ashlyn groaned when she figured out what her wife was doing. She eagerly took the dark nipples in her mouth and played with the stiff points, making Ali groan even louder.

Before long, the brunette crawled down towards Ashlyn’s mound, dragging her tongue all along her stomach and abs and making the keeper writhe beneath her.

“Mmmmmmm... delicious...” she licked her lips and then blew a hot breath down onto Ashlyn’s aching clit.

“Fuck! Yes...please baby...” 

Ali was on her hands and knees, holding herself a few inches above her wife’s body, her head down near the foot of the bed. She glanced quickly at the window next to the bed, along the back wall of the cabin, and was happy to see the curtain there. She knew they were alone and that she was just being paranoid, but the slightly-gaping curtain, even without a blind behind it, made her feel better. Ashlyn’s tongue on her clit snapped her out of the fleeting thought and she never again considered anything other than the naughty naughty things her keeper was doing to her body.

“Jesus...” she grunted and closed her eyes in pleasure as she felt Ashlyn’s finger enter her pussy. It was nearly vibrating from anticipation and build-up and Ali knew she wasn’t going to last long. “Yeah baby, fuck me...oooooh fuck me...”

As they spent the next ten minutes licking and sucking and pumping into each other’s desperate pussies, everything else fell away. There was no child psychologist, no ultrasounds, no PTSD, no time-out chair, no puppy training, no addiction, no mountain, no cabin, no anything other than the two of them loving each other like they knew they were put on the earth to do. They didn’t even talk about how close they were to their release...they didn’t have to. It was as if their bodies just knew. Ashlyn thrusted one long finger inside her wife, sharing the space there with the two ben wa balls, and flicked her clit with her tongue. Ali had one finger inside her wife too, but didn’t push too hard or fast with it. She used her other hand to rub Ashlyn’s swollen clit and sucked hard on the inside of her thigh, giving her the deepest hickey of her entire life. Their slick skin moved easily over each other and the room was filled with the wet sloppy sounds of sex as they climbed higher and higher and higher. There was a frenzy of movement, all arms and fingers and lips and tongues working like crazy to get them both past the final push.

“Aliiiiiii!!!!!”  
“Oh Fuuuuuuuuccck!!!”

They both cried out at the same time, their bodies convulsing and their muscles contracting as their orgasms ripped through them with unmatched power. Ben wa balls slipped out of both ends of the 69 and Ali dropped down on top of her wife with a high-pitched squeal and then tried desperately to roll off her.

“Let me go!”

But Ashlyn held tightly to her, keeping her ass and her pussy and everything magnificent that went with it right there on top of her chest. She knew what was causing the brunette’s alarm and she didn’t fucking care. There was a reason they had never used the ben wa balls in this particular position before and she was surprised that Ali had initiated it that night. But Ashlyn couldn’t have cared less. As she struggled to roll off of Ashlyn, the keeper still slowly pumping one finger inside her, both of them still experiencing the highs of their incredible orgasms, Ali couldn’t contain it any longer. She squirted, just her usual small amount, but it ended up all over her keeper’s chest and neck. She dropped her head down onto Ashlyn’s twitching thigh in glorious, orgasmic defeat.

“I...fucking...love you...” Ashlyn panted out, squeezing her wife and kissing her thigh to try and illustrate her point. 

They didn’t say anything for a few minutes as their bodies came back to earth and tried to remember how to breathe normally and operate their arms and legs correctly. Ashlyn was in her glory. Sultry ben wa balls, 69, her beautiful brunette on her chest like that in her absolute favorite position...the gifts just kept coming at her and she struggled to find the words to adequately thank her wife. 

“Al, I love you.” Ashlyn gave her wife’s thighs and ass and entrance and lips a soft, warm kiss after each sentence. She took her time and let each set of words land before starting on the next. “I love that. I love this, us. I love that you can do that. I love that you trust me enough to do it like this...I love you and everything about this is sexy as fucking hell and I don’t know how to tell you that. Except to just keep holding you and telling you and loving you. I love you. Thank you for all of this, this whole weekend, this whole day, this whole night...everything.”

Ali was quiet for so long that the keeper wondered if she had really pissed her off by not letting her go when she asked. Instead of pushing it, she just held the brunette close to her and kept giving her kisses and squeezes and lovely soft touches up and down her back. Gradually she felt Ali’s body relax. It melted from rigid to languid right on top of her and she breathed a quiet sigh of relief. They had gone through this before, well, something similar, when Ali had gotten shy with Ashlyn using a dildo on her in this position. They had talked it out and both come away feeling closer because of it. Ashlyn hoped tonight would have the same result but wasn’t positive. Ali was self-conscious about the squirting in the first place, even though it as just a little bit and Ashlyn had always told her how hot she thought it was that she could even do it in the first place. 

“Baby, are you going to talk to me, ever again?” the keeper tried again. The room was silent, the only sounds were their breathing and the occasional crackle and snap from the fire in the living room. She took it as a very good sign that Ali hadn’t tried to roll off of her again. “Sugarplum?”

“I love you too.”

“There she is” Ashlyn broke into a dimpled grin and said a silent prayer of thanks. She let another quiet moment go by before speaking again. “It’s hard to say for exact certain, but I’m pretty sure that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my entire life” she patted Ali’s ass gently and then caressed it some more. “No, I know it was the best so stop trying to talk me out of it” she teased, hoping it wasn’t too soon for some levity.

“Stop” Ali chuckled softly and lightly pinched her wife’s thigh.

“Will you please talk to me honey?”

“Are you going to let me go?”

“Of course” Ashlyn immediately moved both arms away from her beautiful brunette. “I only stopped you before because I knew why you were trying to move and you didn’t need to. I didn’t want you to.”

“I know” she sighed as she turned her body around, carefully avoiding stray ben wa balls as she lay on top of her wife again so they were face to face.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No” she blew another breath out and met her wife’s concerned gaze. She had her hands folded on top of Ashlyn’s chest and her chin resting on top of them. “Eww, is this...me?” she picked her hands up quickly.

The keeper rolled her eyes and shook her head with a smile on her face.

“Yes, yes it is” she looked at the brunette indignantly. “And it’s sexy as hell and delicious” she ran a finger though the modest amount of come Ali had deposited on her chest and brought it to her lips.

Ali studied her as she got back into place again, chin on hands on chest.

“Are you just saying that?”

“Ali, I love you so much and I love how shy you are sometimes but you are killing me with this. We’ve talked about this before sweetheart. Do you think my come is gross when it gets on you?” she gave her wife a pointed look and waited for her reply.

“No.”

“Then there you go. I don’t know why you refuse to believe me but it’s gotta stop. I’ve told you a million times, I love everything your body...”

“does when we have sex” Ali finished the oft-uttered phrase and smiled bashfully at her beautiful keeper. “I know.”

“Do you believe me?”

“Yes.”

“Then what are we doing here right now?”

“Bathing in the afterglow?” Ali giggled and moved up to give her wife a long, slow kiss to let her know just how much she believed her.

“That’s more like it” Ashlyn grinned. “Are you good? Do you need me to shag any balls for you?” she wagged her eyebrows and laughed. She was relieved to hear Ali’s short, loud, shout of a laugh – that meant everything was good again.

“No, I don’t know where they are but they’re not in me anymore” she giggled and nuzzled under her wife’s chin. “How about you?”

“Same, same” she nodded and squeezed Ali to her chest. “God I love you Alexandra. I meant everything I said.”

“I know. Me too. That was incredible.”

“Right?” Ashlyn laughed softly. “We have good sex, even on our off days, but that was something else!”

“Off days? Who has off days?” Ali got on her elbow and quirked her eyebrow at her giggling wife.

“Me. Oh it’s always me. I’m the one who has off days” the keeper quickly clarified, making them both laugh again.

“Are you having a good birthday weekend. All-star?”

“I’m having the best birthday weekend my queen. Thank you.”

They cuddled together and traced soft patterns on each other’s sensitive skin. They placed tender kisses and whispered sweet things to each other as the evening hours slipped away from them. It was blissful and peaceful as they delicately paid homage to the skin and bones that held them both together. They tended their own garden and gave thanks at their own altar, worshipping the love they were so grateful for every day of their busy, blessed lives.

“Hey, can I read you something that I love?”

“Of course you can” Ali beamed at the idea. She would always love it when Ashlyn shared these parts of herself with her. They were some of the purest moments they ever experienced.

“Hold on” the keeper reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a book of poetry from underneath a trail map. “Get your phone, gimme some light” she kissed Ali’s head as she propped herself up more against the headboard and started flipping through pages of the thin paperback book.

Ali turned the flashlight mode of her phone on, dimming it so it didn’t blind them in the mostly-dark room, and snuggled next to her keeper. She was sitting up next to Ashlyn in a half hug against the headboard holding her phone so she could see.

“Bright enough?”

“Perfect” Ashlyn leaned over for a quick kiss before turning back to the page and reading aloud. “It’s short but I read it and it made me think of you. I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

‘You are my   
blue crayon,  
the one I  
never have  
enough of,  
the one I  
use to color  
my sky.  
-a.r.asher’

 

“Aw, I love that” Ali blinked adoringly at her wife as Ashlyn kissed her cheek. 

“You’ve always been my blue crayon...the one I never have enough of” the keeper blinked back with utter devotion in her voice and in her eyes.

After a couple of minutes of kissing and hugging, Ali picked her phone up again, turned the flashlight off, and scrolled to a page in her Notes app.

“Here’s one I found that means a lot to me” she explained shyly. “But instead of ‘he’ you have to use ‘she’” she nodded at her wife, waiting for some sort of sign of understanding.

“Ok, got it. She for he, story of my life” she winked and they both chuckled.

“’he  
opened me up  
like a book  
& poured the   
poetry  
back into  
me.  
-amanda lovelace’”

“I love that but...” Ashlyn frowned as she thought about the words. “you’re the one who got me into poetry?”

“Maybe, but to me, this is about when we first met and you pretty much showed me how to live again, really live. Not just get through the days hiding my heart away. You put the colors back into my life. You put the meaning back into my life. You opened me up like a book and poured the poetry back into me. And I’ll never be able to tell you what that means to me, babe. I love you so much more than I can say...so much more.”

The phone and the book fell away as they wrapped each other up in meaningful, romantic kisses again. They both knew these weren’t going to lead to more sex. They couldn’t top the incredible orgasms they had already enjoyed that night and didn’t want to try. But the desire to be as close as possible to the person they each loved more than anything else was still there and they embraced it. They stopped kissing long enough to laugh when they heard one of the ben wa balls hit the floor – finally rolling off of the bed after one too many legs had pushed it out of the way.

“Let’s make sure we remember to find that tomorrow before we leave” Ashlyn giggled. “I wanna take those babies home and frame them. We’ll get a little plaque that says ‘these balls gave us the best orgasms of our lives’” she moved her hand from left to right in front of them as she pretended to read the plaque.

“Yes, that’ll be perfect in the front parlor right next to the handmaid, antique handkerchiefs we carried on our wedding day” Ali laughed and rolled her eyes. “And Grandma Lilian’s bible and the old family photographs...”

“Nah, I’m thinking right above our bed. We’ll make it like a shrine or something” Ashlyn joked and they both laughed some more.

“Even better” Ali giggled and pulled her wife into another hug and series of kisses. It was all in good fun but the brunette knew damned well that she could never assume her wife would do the expected or acceptable thing. “But don’t you fucking dare.”

 

**********

11/11/29 (cont.)

I don’t really know what to say...  
I’m feeling so many different things right now...I’m all over the place. Try and focus. Try and focus. Focus. Focus.   
Ok, one thing at a time.   
What are the good things about tonight?  
-it’s over and I’m back in my car. Ha ha ha. Sigh...  
-the best part was that I finally found their cabin and even though it still feels kinda like a dream I got to see Ali naked and watch them have sex. It was incredible. But I thought I’d be happier about it. I’m so confused. Focus. Just the good things for now.   
-Ali looked so fucking beautiful and sexy as hell. That woman’s body...oh my fucking God. Honestly, that’s the highpoint of my life since...since we broke up. Fuck that makes me sad, and angry. But the good things, ok the good thing is that I got to see her like that again. Yes, I had to watch her with that cheating whore of a wife, but I got to see my girl at her most beautiful again. The way only I get to see her. That made everything else worth it. Right?  
-another good thing is that I didn’t break a leg or twist my ankle finding the stupid cabin. That’s more like a miracle, really. Hiking up a mountain in the dark? Not smart or easy. I probably couldn’t have done it without my nightvision goggles. Thank God I had them in the car. And did I get lucky enough to find them at the first two cabins I schlepped to? No. Of course not. I had to hike around in the dark for 3 hours before I finally found her. It was fucking 9:30pm!!! But I found her. Good things. I found her. I found her and she was so incredibly beautiful. Good things. The cabin was dark except for two lights, that I could see anyway. The big front window looked into the living room area and there was a nice fire going in the fireplace when I got there. I’ll bet Ali started it. She’s good at everything. People think she won’t be good at stuff like that because she’s so beautiful, but then she is anyway. Lol. I love her. It would have been an incredible view of her through that big front window. I could see the couch perfectly. The couch pillows were all messed up too so maybe they had already fucked there before I found them. I don’t know. The other light was coming from the far corner of the cabin. I could hear some music playing and I walked around to try and find another place I could see something. Holy shit. When I got to the back of the cabin, that’s where the bedroom was. That’s where she was. I couldn’t see everything because of the stupid curtains, but they didn’t meet all the way in the middle so I could see through them. The bedroom was small and the window was right next to the bed so I just had to angle myself to see inside. It would have been better if I could have been standing on something to get a better perspective. Made me miss the damned treehouse lol. Ali was on top of her...and Jesus, we never did anything like what she was doing tonight. We were just pretty basic. I had no idea she was into more things than that. But how would I know? I pushed her away every time she tried to be close to me like that. I did nothing but make it hard for her to do anything like that to me back then. What a fucking fool I was. Seeing her like that tonight...I felt almost like I could reach out and touch her. I just stood there and watched. I don’t even remember breathing. At one point she looked over at the window and I swear to God she saw me. I mean, I know she couldn’t have seen me because she kept going and she wouldn’t have done that if she thought somebody was watching her. Would she? Maybe she knew I was there. Maybe she knew it was me. Maybe she’s realized after all my letters and gifts...maybe she knows it’s me and she wanted me to see her like that. 

But that’s stupid. I know that’s crazy. This whole stupid thing was a bad idea and I don’t know why I let myself get caught up in this again. All these feelings. I can’t think. I don’t feel right...I feel, mixed up again. Confused and scared and angry. Why the fuck couldn’t that have been me inside that cabin with her tonight?!!!! Do you wanna talk about the bad things about tonight now?? Ok, well bad thing # fucking 1 is that I had to watch her have sex with fucking Ash, her cheating slut of a wife. That was awful. It almost wasn’t worth it. Seeing my beautiful, sweet, sexy Ali doing those things with...her. That makes me feel like I’m gonna puke. That’s really what it feels like. Stupid bitch. Ha! Stupid bitch is all three of us. Lol. Ash is just a stupid bitch all day every day. Ali is a stupid bitch for being with her in the first place. And I’m a stupid bitch for ever letting her go. I’m the stupidest bitch of them all. Another bad thing is that I’m starving. I ate all three of the power bars in my bag during my stupid fucking hike to the cabin. I’m hungry and tired and sore – I have a blister on my heel that kills and I just wanna be home in my own bed right now. Oh! And then!!! Then, after they finish fucking like...like animals!, Ash gets out a book of poetry and reads to her. Fuck my life. It felt like they were acting out a play written just to torture me. It was like they knew I was there and Ali knew just how to hurt me the most. She sure as hell did. God that killed me. That was our thing. We used to read poetry to each other in bed. The only thing that could have hurt me more would be if Ali read her our poem. That would have been it. I would have died from a broken heart right there in those stupid woods. Fuck this shit. If Ali’s gonna be so dumb about everything, then why am I even here? If she’s gonna be so disrespectful to what we had then...fuck her!!! Fuck you Ali!!!! You can’t keep one thing of ours just between us? Just one fucking thing?? No. You have to ruin it and belittle it and tarnish it by sharing it with her. That white trash, whoring bitch. I’m done. I’m done with this. I’m going home. And on my way I’m gonna leave them a little something to think about. Assholes. Both of them.


	26. The First Thanksgiving & The Cavalry

The last three weeks of November came and went quickly for the Kriegers. For the first time since 2023 they were going to have Thanksgiving at Ken Krieger’s house in Ipswich. Ali and Ashlyn had hosted it twice in the intervening five years and the Dwyers and Kimballs had each hosted it once. And two years ago, of course, had been the nightmare in Satellite Beach. Something about going back to where they had spent their first Thanksgiving together felt right to both Ashlyn and Ali. It was a refreshing restart of a sort. A throwback to a time when the only challenge they faced had been Ashlyn meeting the Scott Kriegers for the very first time. Everything in their lives had been simpler back then. But life had also been half full when compared to life now. They had only been together for 9 months back then. Somehow, four kids, three dogs, and one serious life-threatening scare for each of them later, they had made it through almost 14 years together. Both Ali and Ashlyn felt blessed and knew that they were incredibly lucky to have everything they had. Those scares had been vivid reminders of how short life could really be. Every time Ali saw the faint scar on her wife’s leg from where the car hit her, or felt the thin line on the side of her head, just above her ear, from where it had slammed into the street sign, she felt grateful. And Ashlyn always spent an extra second or two, either during foreplay or the sweet time after sex, kissing Ali’s c-section scar – remembering how close she had come to losing her that awful night. They didn’t talk about it very much, just occasionally, when one of them was feeling the need to remember or to worship or to appreciate. But they both kept those memories close by so they would never forget their great good fortune.

That November of 2029 the 5th graders of East Gloucester Elementary school staged the annual reenactment of The First Thanksgiving. It was something all elementary school kids looked forward to because they had been seeing it and attending it for all five years leading up to it. The other grades in the school, including the kindergarteners, always looked up to the big 5th graders for a number of reasons. One of which was that they were lucky enough to get to be either the Pilgrims or the Native Americans in that very First Thanksgiving. It was more than just reading lines on a stage. The 5th grade parents got involved as well and the whole thing was staged outdoors in the woods behind the school. 

There were two settlements, one for Miles Standish and his group and the other for Massasoit, leader of the Wampanoag tribe who had helped the Pilgrims survive their harrowing first year in the New World. The parents built the settlements – like an elaborate but fully functioning stage set, and the 5th graders were all given parts to play. They had to research their character and dress like them and talk like them and then assume that persona for one entire day the week of Thanksgiving. There were local farms who loaned their livestock to the school for the day to make everything even more authentic. The cooking shelter had live fire in it and the chickens and goats were as real as the late-November air was chilly. 

It was a big deal and it was always very successful. Everybody took their job seriously from teachers to students to parents. It was a source of great local pride and had been going on for almost a decade by 2029. The other schools in town were bussed over to take a tour of the settlements, scheduled throughout the day so there were no real logjams. Parents and families were encouraged to take the tour as well. Both Ashlyn and Ali had volunteered as chaperones for their children’s class visits in years past but this was the first time they had a 5th grader participating in the actual event. As she had done for Josie’s theater productions, Ashlyn volunteered to help with building the huts and shelters in the settlements. Ali volunteered to help with the cooking shelter, preparing authentic dishes that the actual Pilgrims and Native Americans had eaten at the first Thanksgiving. Nobody was really going to eat any of it, but the Pilgrims had to be able to talk about what they were preparing and show visitors what it was. Ali and a couple of other parents got deer, corn, shellfish, and roasted meat ready for the big day. Not quite the menu everybody knew and loved in 2029, but back in 1621 it was exactly what Pilgrims and Native Americans ate because it was what was grown and hunted and harvested and fished around Gloucester.

Drew had been given the role of Squanto, a member of the Wampanoag tribe who had experience with other settlers and could speak English. It was a key part in the story and one of the most desirable roles you could get. Ali and Ashlyn were both immediately anxious about their shy boy’s ability to pull it off.

“Why couldn’t he just be a goat farmer or, or, or...” Ashlyn stammered as she paced back and forth in Whitney’s office at Knight-Harris. “I don’t know, Wampanoag brave #4?” she asked rhetorically. “Do you know how much he has to learn to play Squanto?”

“I do” Whitney nodded with a small smile. “Your wife was in here three days ago doing this exact same routine” she chuckled. “I’ll tell you what I told her” she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her desk and waiting for the keeper to look her way. “The teachers gave him that part for a reason. They both know what he’s going through because you told them both about it, right?”

“Yeah, but...”

“Well, then they think he can handle it. They know he can do it Ash or they wouldn’t have given it to him.”

“I’m so scared for him Whit” Ashlyn shook her head sadly as she slumped into one of the chairs in front of the lawyer’s desk.

“I know. I would be too. Hell, I am too” she admitted softly. “But I believe in him, just like you guys do. And you’ve taught him to believe in himself. I think he’s going to surprise you.”

“It’s not about me. I don’t fucking care if he does this or not. I just don’t want him to have a setback. He’s been doing so well this year at school and Dr. Murphy says he’s really getting better about his anxiety.”

“This is different though, right? He’s not on stage by himself in a spotlight. He’s not on the pitcher’s mound by himself. He’s not by himself taking a pk with everybody watching him. I think this set-up is going to be great for him. He’s assuming a role and he gets to pretend to be that person. It’s kind of the ultimate fading into the background. And it’s not like they do it one at a time. It’s a living reenactment so he’s going to be answering questions as Squanto at the same time Ethan’s answering questions as Governor Bradford and every other kid is answering questions as the other characters involved.”

“Damn, Ali did talk to you didn’t she” Ashlyn chuckled and gave her bestie an appreciative smile. “You should start charging us therapist money, seriously” they both laughed at the keeper’s quip.

“My point is, this thing is different. I have a good feeling about this one” Whitney nodded confidently. “Just help him practice his answers and learn his part and he’ll be able to do everything else. Just watch.”

Of course Whitney had been right. The Tuesday of Thanksgiving week was the big day and all of the 5th graders did a great job assuming their roles. Both Ali and Ashlyn were there as volunteers to make sure nobody ended up in the live fire or stuck up in one of the elevated look-out perches that had been built around the perimeter of the settlement. At different times during the long but exciting day, the two moms had a chance to listen to their son explaining to kids, parents, teachers and administrators alike how he had helped teach the Pilgrims how to grow corn and fertilize it with fish for better results. He talked about his past as a slave in Spain, after being captured from his home, tribal Patuxet lands by British sailors and sold into slavery. Roman Catholic priests eventually freed him and he made his way to England where he learned to speak English. He was kept by a wealthy Londoner and trotted out from time to time as an oddity or a party trick for his benefactor’s stuck-up friends and acquaintances. Squanto finally arranged for passage back to the New World, only to discover that his beloved Patuxet tribe had been decimated by disease, ironically brought over by the Pilgrims the previous year. Squanto was the last surviving member of the Patuxet tribe and he turned to Massasoit and the Wampanoags for help. 

Drew did a great job and seemed to be really enjoying himself too. Part of his job that day was to do an actual demonstration of teaching the Pilgrims how to fertilize with fish. Ali kept a proud eye on him from her nearby station. Ashlyn was over in the Wampanoag compound, pointing out tricky roots in the wooded path that people were continuously tripping over. It was an unglamorous but important job and she took it seriously. The brunette wrangled a stray chicken and herded it back to its pen with her legs and body alone, trying hard not to agitate it.

“Umm...no, I never learned Spanish. But I learned to speak English while I was living in London for a few years after I left Spain” Drew told more of his story to the grandfather of one of his classmates. “Do you want me to show you how to use fish for growing corn?”

Bless his heart, the old man said yes and Ali took a couple of surreptitious pictures of her son doing his Squanto thing. He seemed to be having a good time and not inordinately nervous. Just the right amount of nervous for a 10-1/2 year old boy trying to remember all of the information and backstory for his character. Ali beamed as she texted her wife an update and then got back to her cooking shelter duties. Over at the Wampanoag compound, Ashlyn did a fistpump after reading the text and then picked up a toddler who was looking for her older sister and had just tumbled over a big root in the path. 

“Oh thank you” the young mother of the toddler smiled appreciatively at the keeper. “Good news?” she inquired after seeing Ashlyn’s fistpump.

“Yeah, my son’s killing it over with the Pilgrims and I haven’t felt this relieved in...I don’t know” Ashlyn chuckled, “forever!”

“That’s wonderful. I hope my daughter’s doing as well. We still haven’t found her.”

“Oh, who is she?”

“Alice Bradford.”

“Oooh” Ashlyn raised her eyebrows. “The Governor’s wife. Fancy” she grinned as she watched the young mother try to keep her toddler on her unsteady feet. “Well you’re not going to find her here, this is the Wampanoag compound.”

“Oh shoot. I wasn’t sure which path to go down. How do I get back to the Pilgrims?”

Before Ashlyn had a chance to answer her question, Lily raced up to her, closely followed by Dodge. The keeper wasn’t surprised to see them because she knew the 1st grade classes would be coming through at around this time of the day. What she was surprised by was what Lily did next.

“See! It’s blue! I told you!” the girl called out to her brother as she unceremoniously lifted Ashlyn’s shirt, sweater and jacket up her side about 4 inches and pulled the waistband of her jeans down a couple inches to expose her colorful side tattoo.

“Aw, Wee” Dodge’s face fell as he caught up with her and kicked his foot into the ground in frustration.

“Hey! Lily, cut it out” Ashlyn stepped back and covered her bare skin up both because she was embarrassed and also cold. She glanced quickly at the young mother and blushed. “What’s going on?” she directed her attention back to the kids.

“Dodgie said your flower was red” Lily explained with a tentative laugh, unsure just how upset her mother was. “The bottom one” she clarified, “but I knew it was blue” she grinned.

By that time the rest of the class had caught up with them and Ashlyn greeted the teacher, Mrs. Hynd, with a wave and a smile. The two youngest Kriegers joined their class and reported back to their friends to settle the bet they had made.

“Sorry about that” Ashlyn apologized to the young mother who had watched the whole thing with an amused smirk on her face. “Those are my youngest, Lily and Dodge” she introduced the twins who had scampered back to their classmates.

“I told you it was blue” Lily’s voice could still be heard as she giggled with some of her classmates.

“Dodge, you said it was red. Now we have to give them our snacks!” 

“I know Mikey, I know” Dodge shook his head sadly and let his best friend chuck his arm in commiseration. The class moved past the keeper towards the Wampanoag compound.

“Bye Mrs. Krieger!”  
“Bye Mama!”

Several voices floated up to Ashlyn’s ears as they trooped by. Ashlyn turned back to the young mother, gave her the directions she needed, and wished her luck. 

“Thank you so much for your help. Pray for Alice Bradford” the woman laughed.

“Make sure you stop and see Squanto too! Ask him some good questions!” the keeper winked as they walked away. “But not too good!”

//

Ali had received four letters from her secret admirer by the time Thanksgiving rolled around. Two came before the trip to the Berkshires and the other two both came the week of Thanksgiving. They had gotten progressively more specific and more critical of both Ashlyn and Ali. Officer Clemenzi admitted that the increased frequency and intensity of the letters was concerning. He recommended making their inner circle aware of the situation so they could help keep vigilant in case the stalker started to leave their comfort zone of Kendall Square in Cambridge.

“What are you saying Alex?” Deb’s voice was as serious as anyone had ever heard it. She leaned forward in her seat on the couch at Ken & Vicki’s house Thanksgiving afternoon and fixed her daughter with a wary eye.

The room was full of their Krieger family and they were all confused and concerned. Sydney and Kyle had all of the kids out in the backyard because they already knew the gory details of the creepy secret admirer. Everybody else was sitting there listening to Ashlyn and Ali with rapt attention.

“I’m saying that the police thought we should just let you know what’s going on, just in case” the brunette replied as steadily as she could.

“In case what?” Ken’s voice was tense and his eyes steely.

“Well, we don’t know for sure” Ashlyn stepped in when her wife hesitated. “Like Ali said, this person seems to be contained or limited to the Kendall Square area so we’re not really worried about anything...”

“Not worried about anything? To hell with that” Koty interrupted with anger in his voice.

“Obviously, we’re worried” Ali tried to keep everybody calm. “That’s why we’re talking to you like this. But we’re not worried about something bad happening. This is more of a precaution. Just...if you’re with the kids and something ever feels weird, just trust your gut and be extra careful.”

“I thought you said this...this person was only in Cambridge?” Dom clarified carefully. He had been aware of the secret admirer but neither Sydney nor Kyle had shared many details with their spouses. “Why would you be worried about the kids?”

“It’s just kind of a worst-case scenario” Ashlyn offered. “We don’t really think anything like that will happen. There’s no reason to think they know where we live but just, you know, we wanted you all to know what was going on. That’s all.”

“How long HAS this been going on?” Tanner asked with a frown on his face.

Ali explained the backstory without going into any real details. She and Ashlyn had agreed to keep it simple and not scare any of their loved ones when they didn’t really think it was necessary. Several of their family exchanged anxious looks and shifted in their seats as they processed the information the two women were giving them.

“So why are you telling us this now?” Ken fixed his daughter with an unflinching gaze. “What’s happened to make you finally share this with us?”

Ali and Ashlyn glanced quickly at each other and took just a little bit too long to answer.

“Ali. What aren’t you telling us?” Nathan’s voice was strong and clear and the room got even more quiet than it already had been.

“Nothing, honestly” the brunette gave them a weak smile. “It’s just that the letters have picked up this week...”

“What does that mean?”

“She’s been getting a letter or gift about once a week for a while now” Ashlyn took her turn while Ali looked from her mother to her father and back again, trying to reassure them even though she knew they could see right through her. “Maybe 10 days or so. And then this week she’s already gotten two...”

“So the stalker is starting to freak out?” Brianna asked and got a few frowns from other family-members. “What? We’ve all watched the shows. Something happens and makes the stalker freak out and then they start to get sloppy and they make a mistake and that’s when they get caught” she shrugged and looked at her husband nervously. “Maybe it’s a good thing?” she asked and then looked at Ali again.

“Bri’s right” the brunette nodded. “We know the story. We don’t know this specific story because it makes no sense that anybody would even know who I am” she chuckled, hoping to lighten the mood a little bit and only partially succeeding. “And hopefully that’s exactly what will happen and we can find the person and put an end to this. But until then...”

“Oh we’ll be watching” Vicki nodded her head, a determined look on her face. “You can count on that.”

“What are the police doing? Anything?” Sandi Leroux asked, frustration evident in her voice.

“Ali’s been taking the letters to the police every time she gets one and they’ve been able to lift fingerprints from some of them...”

“Is it the same person?”

“Yeah Mike, it is” the keeper nodded. “They ran the prints but this person isn’t in the system so they haven’t been able to find a match. But the prints are the same on each of the letters. So...”

“So nothing. There’s nothing they can do, is there?”

“Mom, it’s ok” Ali took two steps and knelt down in front of her mother who was still sitting on the couch next to her husband. Deb’s voice had shaken with fear or maybe anger when she had asked the question. “They’re doing everything they can. And we’re doing everything we can and I promise you” she took Deb’s hands in her own, “if there was something else we could do we would do it. But we’re ok. Everything’s ok...”

“For now” Deb choked out, trying desperately not to cry. 

“Deb listen” Ashlyn’s voice filled the room and grabbed everybody’s attention even though it wasn’t very loud. “I’m scared too. We’re all a little freaked out” she nodded at her mother-in-law. “But that’s why we’re telling you guys. Strength in numbers. Four eyes are better than two. Many hands make light work. All of those sayings...we’re relying on our village now and I’m telling you the truth – I’ve never felt safer.”

“It’s gonna be ok Mom” Ali squeezed Deb’s hands and met her concerned gaze. “I promise. We’re not gonna let anything happen to the kids.”

“That’s good princess,” Ken’s voice was quiet and steady, “but who’s protecting you?”

//

 

**********

11-18-29

I couldn’t take it anymore. I gave her the cold shoulder for a full week. I didn’t leave the house. I just stayed in my room and slept and cried and oh, I don’t fucking even know what I did. But it was awful. Then I started watching the videos of her again and looking at the pictures and before I knew it, I was feeling better, just a little bit better. I haven’t forgotten what she did. I’ll never be able to forget what I saw. Seeing her... like that... with that slut was bad enough. But then the poetry was like a slap in the face. It felt like she just reached inside my chest and ripped my heart right out of there. I felt hollow and empty for days. It was almost like I wasn’t even really here...I don’t know. I don’t fucking know. But today I felt a little bit better so I wrote her a letter. I just wanted to tell her how disappointed I am and how much I care about her. If I didn’t love her so much I wouldn’t care if she was throwing her life away on this fucking tramp. I can’t believe I ever thought Ash was good for her. Every time I see her now I want to scream. Ali, even though she hurt me and even though she’s making a mistake, deserves better. She deserves somebody who’ll make her happy and take care of her and love her the way she should be loved. 

I was tempted to send her ‘Annabel Lee’ but I didn’t. I wonder what she would do? Does she even remember it? Our poem... Does she remember reading that to me after we...when we were together like... that? God those were good times. I’m not supposed to think back on those times but they were so fucking good. I made myself sick over it back then though. I ruined it. Fuck... sometimes, if I concentrate really hard I can almost feel her skin again. The little sounds she used to make. The way we loved each other when we were alone, no judgment from anywhere. No dirty looks. No nothing but us. I loved the way her hair smelled when we would snuggle up together. That never changed. That was never wrong. I think that was my favorite – just sleeping with her, holding her or letting her hold me. It was the best feeling in the world and... aw, here we go with the waterworks again. 

God I hate crying about this. I cried about this for two years after we broke up. Two whole fucking years!!! I’m not giving any more tears to it. It doesn’t help. Grow up!!!! Toughen up!! Get over it!!! She’s still here. She’s still in your life but it’s different now. Do you want to go back to the way it was before this year? Do you??? Nah, I didn’t think so. Back to that pathetic person who lives in their parents’ basement. No job. No friends. No nothing except this stupid journal filled with all your fucked up thoughts. Pathetic. Useless. Fat. Ugly. Old. Desperate. Stupid...who would ever want you? Who could ever love you? 

Fuck!!!!!!!!!

I hate this! I can’t...I can’t get my mind to settle down. I want my fucking cross back. I need it. And I want to see Ali again. I miss her. I miss her so much I don’t think my heart can handle this anymore. It’s been a whole week. I need to see her.

 

11-19-29

Today felt almost like normal with me sitting on my bus bench waiting for her to get to the office. Typical Monday morning. I watched her pull into the parking lot and she looked happy, and good. She’s so fucking beautiful. I’ll never get over that. Not as long as I live. It felt incredible to see her again. I sat there smiling like a fool forever. I don’t care. It felt good. It was the best I’ve felt in a week.

 

11-21-29

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I feel like shit. It’s been two days since I saw her and everything’s so different now. I tried to go to the house yesterday. I promised myself I was going to go back inside again and get my cross back. I was hoping maybe Ashlyn was working in the garage office or something and I could sneak in. But when I drove down the street there were people moving into the ‘for sale’ house! I still can’t believe it. That’s the end of that and that’s a huge problem. I can still use the treehouse I guess, but I can’t see very much of the driveway or any of that side of the house from there. And it’s getting really cold outside. There’s no way I’ll be able to stay there for very long anymore. I never thought about the weather fucking me up. I’m totally screwed. I don’t know what to do. I went and parked down at the Inn and walked up to the treehouse and felt normal again for a few minutes. But Deb and her husband were there, inside the house, so there was no way to try and get in. I didn’t see Ashlyn or Ali but I’ll bet Deb’s here for Thanksgiving. I didn’t think about that either. My head feels heavy and thick and I’m not making great decisions. What a shock.

So now what? I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t see Ali all winter long. What the fuck am I going to do?

I wrote her another letter while I sat in my car at the Inn. I hope she likes it. I hope she understands that I have to be honest with her about Ash and let her know what a mistake she’s making by staying with her. She and the kids would be better off without her. Ali’s gotta see that. She was always so smart about things. She’ll see that I’m right about this too. She just has to.

 

11-23-29

It’s the day after Thanksgiving and I was stuck here with Janice and Edward for most of the day. We had family over for the holiday and I had to be on my best behavior. Both of them have been nagging me about my schedule since...since the Berkshires night. They’re watching me like hawks and I hate it. I don’t have the energy to put on a happy face for them these days but I know if I don’t they’ll start asking even more questions. 

It’s late and I’m tired but I’m also pissed off. I went up to Ali’s house tonight, once it got dark so it was harder to see me get to the treehouse. I stick out now that there aren’t many leaves on the trees. Anyway, I was making good progress through the woods there and then when I was about 15’ away from the treehouse a huge outdoor light came on!! I almost pissed myself I was so scared. I ran back towards the bottom of the street and hid behind a tree for a few minutes to make sure nothing was going on. Then I walked really carefully back up towards the treehouse again. I threw a stick and the lights came back on again! They put in motion sensor lights!! Fuck my life. So the treehouse is off-limits too. My two spots, both gone – just like that. I’m screwed.

 

11-27-29

Everything sucks. I miss Ali so much. I can’t believe this has all happened. I followed her to drop the kids off at school the past two mornings and that was nice. But that was the only bright spot. Then I follow her to the office and watch her go into the building and that’s it. She didn’t go out to lunch either day and I’m starting to go a little crazy wondering what she’s doing. And all the social media is really quiet now too. I think maybe that’s just from Thanksgiving. People spent time with their families and didn’t post about every single minute of it. Lol. What a concept. Talk about old fashioned. Ha ha ha. Everybody’s been quiet though. Ash, Syd, Ali, even Kyle isn’t posting much. 

I HATE THIS!!!!!!! I can’t stand not knowing what’s going on with her. I love her and I need to see her. I had no idea how hard it would be not to watch her have dinner every night with the kids. That was the high point of most of my days. She was always smiling, even if she had to be strict with them for a few minutes, she always went back to that beautiful smile before too long. And now...nothing. I’ve been wracking my brain to come up with another way to get my eyes on her at home but I can’t think of anything.

I’m going through withdrawal and I don’t know how long I can handle it. The only time I feel close to her now is when I’m writing to her. If I close my eyes I can pretend we’re talking together like we used to. It’s nice for a few minutes. Better than nothing. In one of my darker moments last week I checked to see if Edward’s gun was still in his desk. He’s such an idiot. He keeps it ‘hidden’ in his big bottom drawer because it has a lock on it. Like I haven’t been able to pick that rinky-dink lock since I was in high school. What a joke. But it was still there. The box of ammo right next to it, like an open invitation. Sometimes I wonder if he actually wants me to use it. It sure feels like it. Maybe I will. Maybe I just will. 

 

11-30-29

I can’t believe it’s the end of November already. This year has flown by. I’m feeling a little bit better today, but not much. I used my head and did some research online to try and figure out Ali’s Christmas schedule. Most of the fancy pictures of her dressed up are from the MHI ball every December. And the video of her kicking ass at ping pong last year was from the Krieger-Harris Christmas party in December. And Ash has posted pics from the Nutcracker forever on her social media. Maybe I can get close to Ali again at these events instead of at the house. I haven’t figured it out yet, but I know the work Christmas party is up first. It’s on a Friday night, December 14th, and I’m gonna be there. Somehow. How happy am I that I faked my way in there this summer and got a tour? Sooooo freaking happy. Sometimes I’m a fucking genius! It also helped that the people Ali works with are really nice and gullible. Lol. I guess I look like I could be a reporter for the BU Alumnae magazine working on a follow up piece about the business itself. Whatever, it worked and I know where Ali’s office is and where the bathrooms are and everything. They have a fucking gym in the basement of the building! For a while I thought about trying to hide there overnight and go through Ali’s desk or something. But then I found the house and didn’t need that. Now that the house isn’t working out...maybe I look at the office again. Hmmm...

Focus!!! Jesus, just pay attention. 

Then, after that party is the MHI ball the next Friday, on December 21st. That’s going to take some planning. Gotta work on that one. And I have no idea when they’ll go to the Nutcracker...that could be anytime. That might not work out. 

I can’t believe Ali still loves that so much. She was always really sweet at Christmas. She used to be pretty happy in general – it was one of my favorite things about her. She made me happy just from being near her. But at Christmas she had a whole other level of happiness. It was incredible. She was just adorable. I hated leaving her alone on Christmas Eve. That never felt right to me. I was such a fucking coward. But she always said she didn’t mind. I wanted to bring her home with me but...I can’t even imagine what Janice and Edward would have said about that. That was trouble I was not willing to put myself into, not even for Ali. I don’t think I ever apologized to her about that either. Maybe this Christmas I can tell her how sorry I am about that. Maybe... We’ve got a lot to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The First Thanksgiving is something that my brother's kids do at their elementary school and it's one of the coolest things I've ever seen. So all props to them for the idea and blatant rip off in this chapter.


	27. Dark December

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's tonight's chapter. That's the good news. The bad news is that I don't have the last few written yet. I know, I know. I'm disappointed with myself too. The meh news is that I know what I want to write! I just have to make time to do it. So, I know it sucks, but bear with me this weekend. I'll try my best to get the last few chapters written as fast as I can. You have my word I won't disappear.

The letters from the stalker continued to come more frequently the first week of December. They were more hostile too, most of the animosity was still directed squarely at Ashlyn but some of it splashed onto Ali in the December letters as well. The December letters were a new, frightening breed. And, for the first time, they came to the big old house.

“Thank you for coming Officer Fulkerson” Ashlyn greeted the familiar Gloucester policeman at the door. “Come in.”

Out of nowhere, Dodge hopped in front of the young policeman that he adored and grinned from ear to ear.

“Hi!”

“Dodge, what are you doing up here?” Ashlyn asked, startled.

“Sorry Ash, he really wanted to say hi” Vicki explained as she jogged into the mudroom from the front hallway by the bathroom where the door down to the basement was. 

“Well hi there” the officer smiled down at the excited boy. “You’re Dodge Krieger, right?”

“Ah-huh” Dodge nodded, stunned that one of his idols knew who he was. He leaned back into his Mama’s front and for one of the rarest occasions seemed shy. “Hi” he said quietly.

“I’ve heard great things about you from the elementary school” he winked at Ashlyn and then turned his attention back to the boy beaming up at him. “I’ve heard that you behave yourself in class and listen to the teachers and do a great job on your homework too. Is that true?”

“Y-yeah” Dodge nodded eagerly. 

“Well that’s good to hear. That’s really important and I wish all the kids would be good about those things like you are. I’m proud of you Dodge. You keep up the good work now, ok?”

“Yes sir! I will” the boy shouted back as his excitement bubbled over.

“Ok big guy, go downstairs with Vivi and stay there until we come and get you. Hurry up” Ashlyn squeezed his shoulders as she turned him around and then patted his butt to get him going.

It was two weeks after Thanksgiving and to say that the Krieger clan had been on high-alert would be a gross understatement. Ken stopped by the house almost every other day and both he and Vicki helped make sure the kids had family rides everywhere they needed. They didn’t think any of the kids’ friends’ parents would do them any harm, but they wanted to make extra sure people were paying attention to the Krieger kids during this scary time. Ali and Ashlyn decided not to tell anybody in Gloucester about the situation, except for the Donaldsons of course. Letting the next door neighbors know what was happening seemed like a no-brainer and both Julie and Neil were strong and supportive. Ali and Ashlyn didn’t want to frighten the kids or alarm other parents when it wasn’t necessary. But once the letters started coming to the house everything changed.

The first letter arrived on Monday December 3rd, eleven days after Thanksgiving, and Ashlyn had stopped in her tracks halfway up the driveway when she saw it among the other envelopes. Waiting for Ali to come home so they could open it together had been one of the most difficult things she had ever done in her life. But they had agreed on the phone that they didn’t want to freak the kids out and they both knew that Ashlyn wouldn’t be able to hide her reaction very well. Ali brought the letter to the Cambridge police the next morning on her way to work and then received a call from Officer Clemenzi later in the day. He expressed his concern and recommended getting the Gloucester police department involved so they could provide whatever support might be necessary. He would reach out to the Gloucester PD from his end as well.

It was Wednesday December 5th and Officer Fulkerson had been briefed by his Cambridge colleague and was making his first visit to the big old house to check things out. Ali sat in the front living room with Logan and Persey, waiting for Ashlyn and the officer to join her. Vicki had the three youngest Kriegers downstairs in the basement. It was just after dinner and Drew was on his way to soccer practice with Ken filling in for Ali that evening. All of the grown-ups were anxious and out of sorts and the kids and dogs could sense it. They didn’t understand it, but they could feel the tension in the house. After the pleasantries, more serious than usual, were exchanged and Ashlyn and the officer took their seats, they began to talk.

“I spent a lot of time on the phone with Officer Clemenzi reviewing your case and I want you to know that I think you’re doing the right thing. I think you’re right to be concerned and you’re smart to be cautious. This is probably not going to end up being anything too serious, but better safe than sorry. Clemenzi has shared everything he’s got with me and, while it’s still his case and will be handled by Cambridge PD, we’re ready to assist in any way we can” he smiled warmly at the two women sitting next to each other on the long side of the ‘L’ bend couch. “To start with, we’re going to be patrolling the area here regularly. We’re already a strong presence at all of the schools, but we’re going to make sure EGE gets some extra attention. All four of your kids go there, right?”

“Yes, that’s right” Ali answered, pale-faced and serious. “East Gloucester Elementary.”

“I was able to come by this afternoon, thank you for making yourself available” he nodded at the keeper. “And your home security system is in good working order. From what I understand you keep your doors locked on a regular basis already? Is that right?” he was looking at Ali because he had already gone through this with Ashlyn that afternoon.

“We do, but it’s hard with the kids in and out” she let out a hesitant sigh. “But we’ll do better. If we have to keep a key in our pockets at all times that’s what we’ll do. Whatever it takes to keep them safe” she swallowed hard.

“Good. Good. That’s the right attitude to have. It might seem like overkill but...”

“No way” Ashlyn shook her head slowly. “We’re not screwing around. I promise you we’ll take every precaution you tell us to. We’ll do our part but you guys have to do yours. You gotta catch this lunatic!”

“Ash...” Ali reached over and squeezed her wife’s leg. 

“No, it’s ok” officer Fulkerson interrupted. “I don’t blame you one bit for being frustrated. I really don’t. And I know you’re tired of hearing this but there’s not much we can do other than wait and be ready. The suspect’s fingerprints aren’t in the database, but we’ll keep checking them in case he or she gets in trouble. We don’t know what we’re looking for on the security camera footage. And I can tell you, Cambridge PD has looked at a lot of footage from both the post office and T-station in Kendall Square, as well as your security footage from the office. There’s lots to see but nothing stands out. They haven’t seen anything that connects yet.”

“Should we be looking at it?” Ali asked. “I mean, if it’s helpful we’ll look at it. Maybe we’ll recognize something or someone they didn’t.”

“You can ask Officer Clemenzi about that. I don’t think he’ll go for it, but it never hurts to ask” he answered honestly and saw both women frown back at him. “I know it doesn’t always seem like it, but we’re trained to pick out things that most people don’t see. But, like I said, it can’t hurt. You should ask him.”

“You said we should put cameras up here. Where should we put them?”

“Cameras? Here?” Ali’s eyes went wide. Ashlyn gave her a stern look and they both turned back at the officer for his answer.

“Nothing too crazy, don’t worry” he smiled to try and lower the tension in the room again. “One on the front porch for sure because it’s sort of isolated from the rest of the property. And one on each side of the garage facing the backyard and the driveway. That’ll give you good coverage of those three sides of the house.”

“What about the other side?” Ashlyn made notes on a pad of paper, assuming Ali’s usual role.

“This is unusual, but I think if you mount a camera on that first light in the lot next door you’ll get a great view of that whole side of the house. If you mount it high enough.”

“Thank God you turned those lights back on” Ali closed her eyes and said a silent prayer.

The keeper had been a woman on a mission after their talk with family at Thanksgiving. She had realized, in horror, that she wasn’t sure she had ever turned the motion-sensor lights back on at the empty lot. She had turned them off in June when she and Niki were working on the treehouse and she couldn’t remember turning them back on. She felt sick to her stomach after they got home from Ken’s house and she realized she was right. At that time they had no reason to be concerned about the house, but they had all agreed at Ken’s house to be extra careful and here she didn’t even have the fucking lights on! Ali had been kind and forgiving that night when the keeper confessed her blunder. So far they were working well as a team, despite all the anxiety they both felt.

“Yes, the motion-sensor lights are excellent. They’re a proven deterrent” the officer agreed. “And in this case I think maybe you might consider mounting two cameras there. One to watch the side of the house and the other to watch the lot itself. Just a suggestion.”

“A good one. That’s what we’ll do” Ashlyn made another note.

“So the good news is that things here are buttoned up and you’re taking the necessary precautions to keep things safe and secure. That’s really good. Keep it up” he encouraged them. “And I don’t know if Clemenzi has told you this part yet, but two of these most recent letters were mailed from different post offices.”

“They were?”  
“Really?”

Ali and Ashlyn both perked up and leaned forward at the news.

“Two were mailed from the post office in Wellesley, MA and then one was mailed from the post office here in town” he explained, looking at his notes.

“It was mailed from here” Ali froze as she spoke, her blood going ice cold at the thought.

“Oh, umm yes” the officer realized his mistake too late. He had frightened the women when he had wanted to reassure them. “I know that’s unsettling, but it’s a good thing too” he spoke quickly when he got an angry look from the keeper. “The suspect is changing their routine and that’s when we find them. This is the break we’ve been waiting for. Now we have two more locations with security cameras to investigate. The chances that Cambridge PD will see something or someone common to all five places increases the odds of catching whoever this person is.”

“You’re going to protect our family, right?” Ali’s voice quivered as she asked the million dollar question.

“We are. After we’re done here I’m going to stop at all the houses in the neighborhood and let them know about some suspicious activity in the area and ask them all to be extra vigilant” he told them the plan. “And we’re not going to make it specific or tell anybody your business. We’re just going to ask everybody to pay more attention to unfamiliar vehicles and things like that. This is how we catch the suspect. This is how it happens.”

//

Lily Krieger was a tough little kid. She had to be to survive her time with her rambunctious twin brother Dodge. But Lily didn’t always want to be tough. Sometimes she was a real baby about things and it confused those that loved her the most. She had always been the easiest child to get upset when she had been a baby and a toddler. She had levelled out more as she had grown up and now, at 6-1/2 years old, she was far more even-tempered than in the past. Still, if she could avoid doing something that might cause her discomfort she tried like hell to do just that. She was the last one to get into the ocean if it was chilly. She was the last one to touch something that looked sharp or pointy. She was the last one to taste anything that wasn’t a guaranteed slam dunk yummy thing. She just didn’t take a lot of risks when it came to her own comfort. Unless an animal was involved. If there was an animal around then she was freaking George of the jungle and couldn’t keep her hands off of it, whatever it was. Except for slimy things and creepy crawly things – but that was typical of most kids. But if the animal had any kind of fur or hair she was all over it. 

So it came to nobody’s surprise that she clung to the ridiculously loose tooth in her mouth for as long as humanly possible, afraid that it would hurt when it finally came out. If Lily Krieger had her druthers, the tooth would have just stayed in there for her whole life. Unlike her daredevil twin, she waited and waited and waited and waited for her first loose tooth to finally fall out. It was the same tooth – front lower middle, but the complete opposite of Dodge’s experience. Her mothers kept telling her that if she wasn’t careful it would fall out and she wouldn’t even know it and then she might swallow it. That gave her lots to think about but she still didn’t want to risk the pain of giving it that one tiny little tug that it needed. Brushing her teeth every morning and every night turned into a nightmare for the two weeks that she clung to that tooth. And eating? She milked that for all it was worth, claiming her tooth was too sore and she couldn’t eat at mealtimes. Ashlyn’s patience ran out after the first week and Ali’s only lasted halfway through the second week. It was Deb who stepped in with the solution at the end of the first week of December. She had flown back up to Gloucester at the end of that week, after hearing the unsettling news about the stalker’s presence in Gloucester. Mike would be joining her the following week. There was no way she was going to be away from her grandbabies at a time like that. She didn’t insist on staying in the guest room but she considered it, very seriously. 

Ashlyn’s family had the same sentiments and made plans to visit early for Christmas too. Chris and Beth stayed in Satellite Beach with the kids, of course, but Mike, Tammye and Carol all bought tickets for Boston and arrived the second week of December. It was simply impossible to stay away, even though they knew hosting a big house full of family wasn’t at the top of Ali or Ashlyn’s wish list. Kyle, Koty and even Tanner were ready to drop everything and crash at the big old house too. If Kyle hadn’t been in the final stages of editing his latest documentary he would have already been in Gloucester. He checked in with his sister multiple times a day, every break he got. He knew she was frightened because she never once complained about any of his calls or texts. Even Meg wanted to come and join the battle. She and Ashlyn argued about it and Hannah and Ali had to get involved to smooth ruffled feathers and hurt feelings.

“Meg, listen honey, we always want you up here with us. You know that” Ali soothed over the phone during that tumultuous first week of December. “Besides the fact that you’ve got school, Ash just feels safer...we both feel safer with you staying right where you are. Don’t take this the wrong way because you know we love you to the moon and back, but it’s easier for us if you stay down there. Not because you’re hard to have up here” she added quickly, trying not to hurt the young woman’s feelings. “But because we don’t have to worry about you. You know? We know you’re safe down there and that means everything right now.”

The two moms thought long and hard about sending their kids down to Florida for the holiday and were very close to doing just that. But they both knew that Josie would have a fit if she missed her holiday concert. All the kids would. They’d been working hard on both their music lesson recital and their classroom performances for weeks and pulling them out of school and away from their friends and so much of the Christmas activities and events they had been looking forward to just didn’t seem fair either. They both second-guessed themselves ten times a day on that decision but stuck to it. Ultimately, having the grandparents brigade around made Ali and Ashlyn feel much better about their decision. The kids were rarely out of sight of at least two adults. It would have been silly if everyone wasn’t so nervous. 

“Alright, who’s ready to try one of my special Christmas cookies?” Deb beamed at her grandchildren that Saturday afternoon at the end of the first week of December. She had decided to take on some of the Christmas baking for Ali so the brunette could try and focus on her job and the stressful investigation. “Anybody?”

“Me!!!

All four kids tripped over themselves to get closer to the small table in the kitchen. The tray of peanut butter cookies with the hershey’s kiss in the middle had cooled enough for little mouths and Deb was going to take full advantage.

“Those are the ones Mommy makes” Josie frowned in confusion as she held her own between Dodge and Drew, widening her elbows to protect her space.

It was true and these were not the cookies Deb normally made for Christmas. But they were Lily’s favorites and she had a plan in play.

“Yes they are” Deb nodded at the redhead as she handed out one cookie to she and Drew who were closest to the table. “And just who is it that you think taught her how to make them?” she winked as she handed another cookie to Dodge.

“You?” Drew asked as he took a bite and then another one after determining that they were just as good as his Mom’s.

“That’s right. We used to bake cookies together when she was little, just like you” she put her hands on her hips and admired the three kids enjoying their treat.

“Grandma, Grandma” Lily pushed between Drew and Josie to get to the front. “You forgot me” she giggled, thinking it had just been a simple oversight, and held out her hand.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry” Deb cupped the girl’s cheek and frowned. “I’m too afraid it’ll hurt your tooth baby girl. You can’t have one.”

They all stopped what they were doing and looked at Lily, cookies half eaten and half chewed in their mouths. The little blonde girl’s bottom lip started to quiver and they all knew what that meant.

“Oh geez, here we go” Drew rolled his eyes and started to move away, out of earshot of the hissyfit that was about to take place. “Can I have another one Grandma? Pleeeeaase?”

“Yes you can Drew. Thank you for your nice manners. Here you go honey” she handed the second cookie to him and purposefully kept it close to Lily on the way by. “Do you want some milk guys?” Deb moved to the fridge to get the milk. “Why don’t you all go to the nook and I’ll bring you your milk and another cookie. Ok?”

Lily stood next to the small kitchen table eyeing the cookies and wiggling her loose tooth with her tongue while everyone else vacated the area. Ashlyn came into the kitchen from the mudroom and watched the scene unfold.

“But Grandma, I can eat it just on the side” Lily tried to negotiate, pointing at the side of her mouth when Deb came back into the kitchen from the nook.

“Oh no sweetheart, it’s too risky. I’d feel just terrible if you ate one of my cookies and swallowed your tooth. I’d never forgive myself. I’m sorry honey” she bent over and hugged the girl, winking at Ashlyn.

“Mmmmm...Grandma’s cookies! Can I have one, please?” the keeper stepped up to the table with excitement in her voice and on her face.

“Yes you can” Deb smiled and pointed at the counter by the fridge. “The milk’s already out.”

“Awesome. That’s too bad about your tooth Lily girl. I’m sorry it’s in the way and keeping you from having cookies with us. Maybe there’ll be some left when your tooth finally comes out” she offered encouragingly and kissed her on top of her head as she took a big bite of a cookie.

Both women watched her carefully as she thought hard about her predicament. Lily brought her fingers to her mouth tentatively, poking at the tooth that was so much more out than in. 

“Are they still warm Mama?” Deb twisted the knife. “I think they’re just cool enough so they still melt in your mouth a little bit.”

“Oh definitely. The chocolate kiss is still soft too...”

“Actually, I think my tooth is ready to come out!” Lily took the bait and spun around to face Deb and Ashlyn, her hand still at her mouth. “See?” she wiggled it some more.

“Well let’s get it out of there then!” Ashlyn popped the rest of the cookie into her mouth and knelt down in front of her daughter. “Are you ready?” she asked, her mouth full.

Deb moved to stand behind Lily and held her shoulders, letting her lean into her for support.

“We’re ready, right Lil?”

“Ah-huh” the girl replied but her face was full of fear.

It probably didn’t help that the other kids came in to watch as soon as they heard Ashlyn’s announcement. The last Krieger was about to lose their very first tooth. It was a momentous occasion even if it wasn’t celebrated as such in that moment. Ashlyn and Ali were so sick of her stupid loose tooth and all of the drama that had surrounded it for two full weeks that they literally just wanted it the fuck out of her mouth. They felt terrible about it, but it was the truth. The truth that they would never admit to anybody else.

“Ok, I’ll count to three and then pull it. It’ll just be a tiny little tug, you won’t feel a thing” the keeper spoke quickly before her daughter had a change of heart.

“And then you can have your cookie” Deb added reassuringly.

“Two cookies” Lily clarified and made both women laugh.

“Yes, love, two cookies” Deb patted the girl’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

“One, two...” Ashlyn pulled the tooth early because she knew her daughter would make more out of it than was necessary and was hoping to catch her by surprise. The tooth came out with just the slightest tug because there was only the thinnest bit of tissue still holding it close to in place. “You did it!! Yay Lily!!! You lost your first tooth!!!” Ashlyn cheered, hoping a lot of excitement would distract the girl from whatever small amount of pain she had felt.

“Let’s see” Deb bent over to get a look. “See, not even any blood. That tooth was very ready to come out. Great job sweetheart.”

Lily felt the hole where her tooth had been with her tongue and then her finger and then smiled about as brightly as she had ever smiled. 

“It didn’t even hurt!” she beamed.

“And now the tooth fairy will come tonight too” Josie added as she looked at the tiny white tooth in Ashlyn’s big hand.

“And I can have my cookies now too!” Lily spun around and grabbed a still-warm cookie in each hand. “Can I have milk please?” she called over her shoulder as she walked to the nook with the rest of the kids to finish their snack. “Thank you!” she added as the kids sometimes playfully did before it was time to actually give thanks.

Ashlyn and Deb stood there grinning at each other before the keeper wrapped her mother-in-law up in a big hug.

“I love you more than usual right now Deb” she chuckled.

“That’s what Grandma’s are for” she grinned back. “Now don’t lose that tooth!”

//

“Oh my God, what are we doing?” Ali cried into Ashlyn’s chest when they got back into the minivan after a therapy session with Dr. Mattie Olsen. 

The keeper held her tightly and kissed the side of her head. They both usually felt raw and exposed after seeing their therapist and that morning was no exception. It was Tuesday, December 11th and they had a busy day planned. After therapy they were going to the mall to finish the last of the Christmas shopping before the kids were finished with school. Then Ali and Ken and Vicki were taking Josie and Lily shopping for dresses for the holiday concert coming up in two days. Ashlyn and her parents were taking the boys the next afternoon to find just the right ties for their outfits. The Harrises were arriving later that night, just after dinner time and Deb was at the big old house cooking up a storm so there would be food in the fridge and the downstairs freezer to feed everybody while they were visiting. There had been no discussion about sleeping arrangements this time. Tammye and Carol were taking Meg’s room and Mike was taking the pullout couch in Ashlyn’s studio. They just decided not to bother Ashlyn or Ali with it. That was the theme of those two weeks – be there to help but try not to get in the way. Try not to add any stress to an already stressful situation. Be present but not hovering. Just be there. Ken and Deb talked about how hard it was to be close by but not actually there every minute of the day. They joked about turning the garage into their own in-law apartment and just not telling their daughters about it. And as hectic as everything became, neither Ashlyn nor Ali regretted the visitors or the hovering. It made them feel safer. It made them feel like their kids were as safe as could be. And when it got to be too much for either one of them, they just went up to their bedroom and locked the doors for a few minutes to find some peace. And if that didn’t work, then they went out to the office in the garage. 

Ali was getting a letter every other day once December started. Some still went to the office but most came to the big old house. Both women came to dread seeing the little red flag on their mailbox that meant they had mail. They stopped letting the kids come check the mail with them too. The routine was to take the letter out to the garage and open it there, as carefully as possible so they didn’t ruin any potential fingerprints. The letters had turned nasty and vile. The stalker’s barely-concealed contempt for Ashlyn had long ago given way to cruel indictments of everything about her from her upbringing to her looks to her work ethic and everything in between. Every single letter referenced her assumed extra-marital affairs, in detail, and made outlandish accusations about other women the keeper surely had slept with behind Ali’s back. And the letters didn’t stop there. They were critical and judgmental of Ali herself. The love letters and love poems had turned into epistles of scorn and derision. At one point in each letter though, the stalker professed their love for the brunette, claiming they were pointing out these things because they loved her so devoutly. 

Ashlyn and Ali waited and waited for the police to make some sort of breakthrough in the case. Somebody had to recognize somebody in all of the security footage they were combing through. Somebody at the post office had to remember something about whoever the stalker was, just one time, right? But nothing happened. Except that the letters kept coming and the disgusting posts kept coming on social media. Whitney assigned one of her staff to do nothing but monitor all of Ali and Ashlyn’s social media and let her know if anything from this fucked up troll appeared. When it did, at least once a day but sometimes more, Whitney went into the account and deleted the comment. Ali and Ashlyn had entrusted her with their passwords just so they didn’t have to worry about that part of the problem for a while. It seemed inconsequential but it had made them both feel so much better not having to see that crap. Whitney dutifully took a picture of each gruesome comment before deleting it, building her case against the stalker like the talented lawyer she was. 

“It’s ok baby, it’s ok” Ashlyn tried to soothe her upset wife.

“No it’s not ok” Ali pulled back to look into those troubled hazel eyes. “It’s not ok and I’m worried...”

“I’m worried too, but the kids are ok. Having everybody here is tough but it’s great for the kids. They have no idea what’s going on and that’s just how we want it, right?”

“I’m not worried about the kids” Ali held her wife’s face in both hands as they leaned across the console of the minivan to be close. “I’m not just worried about the kids, I’m worried about you honey.”

“Me? I’m not the one with the stalker” she tried to joke a little bit but it didn’t work.

“It’s like Officer Clemenzi said, we’ve all got the stalker. She’s affecting all of us, not just me. For all we know she’s going to try to get to you so she can have me all to herself...”

“Wow, egotistical much?” the keeper quirked a playful eyebrow at her wife.

“Ashlyn I’m serious and you know it. Did you tell the truth in there just now? Are you really ok?”

“I did tell the truth. I swear” Ashlyn nodded solemnly and then blinked back softly at her brunette. “I know this could trigger my PTSD and I’m being really careful about it. I promise.”

“Are you sure?” Ali gave the blonde one of the fiercest, most intense stares in her arsenal. It was as if she was trying to see right down into her soul for the answer to the all-important question. “I can’t handle it if you’re not telling me the truth. That’ll be what breaks me. If some of this bullshit messes you up and you try to keep it from me...”

“Oh like you kept the stalker from me? Or like you kept your problem with Chris from me this summer?” Ashlyn’s voice was quiet and kind, despite the words it spoke.

Ali closed her eyes and tears started to slide down her cheeks. She released Ashlyn’s face and clutched at her chest instead, grabbing handfuls of her coat before opening her eyes again.

“I need you to be better than me Ashlyn. You’ve been so strong through all of this and I love you so much for it. You’ve been keeping me safe and the kids safe but I need you to protect yourself now. The kids are good. We just talked about it. They’re having the best Christmas ever with everybody around them and pretty much doing whatever they want to do with them. But you need protecting too.”

They shared a long, searching look before Ali brought their lips together in a long, tender kiss. She pulled back and traced her keeper’s lips with her fingertips, gently kissing them once more when she was finished. Ashlyn reached up and brushed the tears from her wife’s beautiful face as she spoke.

“I’m ok Al, I promise. You’re right, this is right in line with things that could trigger me, but I’m ok. I’m strong. I don’t know, it’s hard to describe. It feels like there’s an actual enemy here that I can fight – don’t worry, I’m not gonna actually fight anybody” she rolled her eyes and smiled. “But it’s not some feeling or emotion or abstract worry that sets me off and gets my imagination going. This time there’s a real person involved and... I don’t know” she shrugged, “it’s not getting to me the same way.”

Ali studied her face carefully, appreciating for the millionth time how gorgeous that face was. She took a deep breath and blew it out before giving her wife a sad smile.

“I have no choice but to trust you. Please don’t make me regret it. I can’t...” she stopped when a sob threatened to join her words and then whispered, “I won’t ever be able to forgive myself if this breaks you too.”

//

 

**********

12-4-29

This fucking sucks. All I can do is catch a glimpse of her now. I can follow her to school in the morning but sometimes she doesn’t even get out of the minivan if the kids don’t need her to. Then I follow her to the office and watch her pull into the parking lot behind the building. It’s too cold to sit on the bus bench for very long anymore and she’s not leaving the office very much for lunch either. All I can do is write to her. I HATE THIS!!!!!!!

 

12-8-29

It’s Saturday and the weekends are the worst. Soccer is over so no games. I even drove past the fields to make sure. But I knew better. And there’s no school so I can’t even see her drop the kids off. They don’t go to church so I can’t find them there, although it turns out all four kids were baptized at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Gloucester. I don’t know what that makes them though. Not catholic, that’s for sure. I’m so angry about everything right now. I’m mad at Ali for being so far away. And for being with that stupid bitch. I know I’m mad at Ali because I haven’t wanted to send her a poem in a while. Not since that night at the cabin. But I’m starting to feel like maybe I can still love her through this. The separation is really hard. I’m not sure how long I can go without being close to her again or seeing what she’s doing. It’s making me sick. My head won’t stop aching. So much pounding inside it. And my stomach hurts too. I’ve been eating like crap again. Making bad decisions again about food too. If I’m going to see her again I have to keep looking good, well, as good as I can. I lost that weight and that’s all thanks to her. There’s no way the old me could have hiked up to that cabin! No fucking way. Forget about hiking to three of those fucking things. Stupid glamping. Who the fuck does that anyway? The same idiots who fish off of luxury yachts I guess. Lol. 

Oh, I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do. I miss her like crazy. I’m not sleeping well and I just...I need to see her. Oh man if I could hear her laugh... I’ve gotta see her and get close to her, even just for a few minutes. 

 

12-12-29

I love her so much...I’ve told her in all of these letters. I’ve poured my heart out to her. I think that if we could just talk again, maybe she would understand how much I still love her and how good we could still be together. She can’t be happy with that trash anymore. She can’t be. I’ll tell her how good I’ll be for her, and the kids. I’ll explain everything so she understands. She has to understand. Nobody’s ever understood me the way she does. Nobody. I finally wrote out our poem and sent it to her today.

I feel like I’m losing my mind, but for real. I almost took a pill today. It’s so hard to stay strong now. I need her to help me stay strong. She’s so good for me. She’s the only pill I’ll ever need. I love her, even when I’m angry with her, I love her so fucking much. 

 

12-14-29

Today’s the day!! I’m doing it. I won’t let anything stop me either. I thought about doing it yesterday but I was too afraid to even write it in here. But I can’t take this not knowing any more. Not another day. I need her to know how I feel. We can talk and I’ll explain it all to her. I’m going to Krieger-Harris to see her. It’s their holiday party today so everybody should be in a good mood and maybe that’ll help me talk my way up to her office. I’m counting on it. In one of the videos from last year, with Ali kicking ass at ping pong I think, the girl talked about how she got out early to go home and get ready for the party. Like it was something normal that they did. I hope so. Maybe there’ll be fewer people to have to sweet talk. I’m a good liar and I can tell a good story, but the less I have to, the better. I’m just going to walk in there like I know what I’m doing. Take the elevator up to the 4th floor and walk down that hallway right to her office. Let them try and stop me. I don’t know why but I feel really hopeful about today. I feel like this is how it’s supposed to be. I can’t wait to see her and hear her voice. I can’t wait to talk to her.

That felt so good to send her that poem. I wonder if she liked it? I wonder if she thinks about me or us. I’ll bet she does. We were young, but our love was so real. Every word in every line of that poem felt truer than ever as I wrote them down. Their love was so great that even the heavens were jealous! That’s the kind of love Ali and I have. And I won’t let any chill winds from the angels hurt you, not ever. We’ll live out our lives together just like in the poem, but not in a tomb – not pining away for each other. We’ll live, really LIVE, and I won’t hold back anything from you this time. I won’t be afraid of what people will say or do. I won’t be afraid of what Janice or Edward will think or the church or anybody. What I feel for you is so true and so pure and so powerful...I don’t even know how I’m holding it together anymore. I feel sometimes like all this love will just come exploding out of me if I don’t tell you about it. I can feel myself cracking, little by little...but for now, here is our poem, our ‘Annabel Lee’. I hope she still loves it like we used to. It’s even more beautiful now. I understand it so much better now because I’ve already lost her once. I know the pain and the suffering from those lines...I’ve felt that empty aching loneliness for all these years. I love you Ali, with everything I am, with my whole heart and mind and body and soul. I love you.


	28. Annabel Lee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me. This is a terrible place to stop and I'm sorry.  
> The next chapter will be Sunday night or Monday.  
> Love you guys!

The annual Knight-Harris Holiday party snuck up on everybody that year. It seemed like everyone, in all parts of the business, was surprised that it was already Friday, December 14th. The plan was the same as it had been forever at K-H. Everybody worked until about 2pm and then went home to get ready for the party. They came back into the city in their party clothes and went to whatever restaurant was hosting their big group that year. There was food and dancing and games and, of course, the bigwigs gave speeches and talked about what a great year it had been for the company. The good thing was that the bigwigs at K-H were pretty cool people and genuinely meant what they said when they thanked all of their co-workers for their dedication and hard work all year long. It was a night that everybody looked forward to and it had always been a fun time.

Over the past few years, Ali had gotten into the habit of working through the afternoon, changing into her party outfit and then riding over to the party itself with Ashlyn and Marcy and Whitney. Sometimes Ryan or Marcy’s husband came along for the night and they would drive separately. But typically at least one of those two women joined Ali and Ashlyn for the ride to the party from the K-H offices. Ali wasn’t the only one who stayed behind to work the afternoon of the parties either. Anybody who had a long commute often skipped the break to go home, opting to stay at the office and wait for the party instead. On December 14th Ali sat at her desk returning phone calls and typing emails to clients and colleagues like any other afternoon. The only difference was that she had a party dress on a hanger on the coat rack behind her desk, just waiting for her to step into it and bring it to life.

“Nope, I’m good. Thanks for checking though, such a good wife” she giggled into her phone as she leaned back into her desk chair. “Hurry up though will you? I can’t wait to see you in that new shirt.” 

“What new shirt?” Ashlyn teased from the other end of the phone.

“I saw it. You can’t keep all your sexy new shirts hidden from me babe. You’re good but I’m better” she laughed, knowing it was a false claim but not caring. 

“Woman! You stay out of my closet!”

“Ok fine. But then you’ll have to take care of all of the dry cleaning...”

“No thanks, forget it” she chuckled. “Can’t you just close your eyes and put the clothes in there or something?” she whined. “I wanted to surprise you with a new shirt I got just for you...”

“Listen you big baby, just get here. I miss you” she lowered her voice at the end and bit her bottom lip as she thought about the way her gorgeous keeper had come to bed the night before and roused her from her almost-asleep state. Ali had never been able to resist her wife’s lips and as soon as they had started working down her body, the brunette had responded and they had spent almost two hours having sex. They had both woken up clingy and lovestruck and tired that morning as a result. “A lot” she whispered seductively. “Shirt or no shirt...”

“Hey now, come on” Ashlyn whined. “Don’t start that now or I’ll go crazy before I even get there” she giggled. “And I have to find a way to kick your ass at some sort of game tonight to make up for last year’s embarrassing showing” she laughed, referencing the infamous ping pong video again.

“Ha!” Ali laughed her short, loud, shout of a laugh as her face crinkled into one big grin. “You can try...” she teased.

“I’ll be there in a couple hours. Picking up the Jeep from the body shop on the way. She’ll be shiny and new for you baby.”

It had taken almost a month to get the new front fender for her Jeep and to have the entire driver’s side repaired. When they had returned to the Jeep after their romantic glamping getaway in the Berkshires, they were greeted by one of the worst cases of keying vandalism that the body shop had ever seen. The keying damage was so deep at the front left fender that they had to order a whole new one because it couldn’t be buffed out or repaired. It had been a frustrating end to their blissful weekend away.

“I don’t care what you drive, just get here, All-star.”

“2 hours my queen. Love you.”

“I love you too, drive safe.”

“Oh wait, Drew wants to talk to you...”

“Put him on the phone” Ali sighed and waited for another voice to reach her from the big old house. “Hi buddy, what’s up?”

“Can I go to Ethan’s house tonight? Pleeeaasee?” he whined.

“Ugh, what is it with the whining this afternoon?” Ali sighed to herself. “Now Drew, light of my life and smart child that I know so well” she leaned forward to shuffle some papers on her desk, remembering something else she had to do before getting ready for the party, “something tells me that you’ve already asked Mama this question and she’s already told you no. So why in the world do you think I’m going to tell you anything different?”

“Well, she’s pretty busy and I wasn’t sure she heard everything...”

“Drew, really?” Ali chuckled into the phone.

“C’mon Mom, please?”

“No honey, not tonight.”

“But that’s what you said the last two times.”

“I know and I’m sorry. But it’s just not a good time right now. Why don’t you invite him over tomorrow. I’ll let you have the whole basement to yourselves and you can watch that Deadpool movie...” she bartered, only half paying attention.

“Really?” his voice picked up considerably and the brunette had to play back what she had just said. “Thanks Mom, you’re the best!”

“Wait! No, not Deadpool. Jesus” she whispered and rolled her eyes at the mistake. “Antman. That’s the new one that you can rent now, right?”

“Aw, Mom...”

“Or not. You can just sit in the house with the rest of us all day and not see Ethan at all...”

“No, fine! Tomorrow. And can we have pizza too?”

“Yes, honey. We can make that happen” she smiled into the phone, happy with her negotiation. “Now listen. Mama and I are going to that party tonight for work. You be good for your grandparents and set a good example for the other kids, ok?”

“Yeah, ok” he agreed with a sigh of his own. “Are you sleeping over?”

“No we’ll be home tonight but it’ll be late and you’ll be asleep.” She loved how her big 10-1/2 year old still wanted to know that his parents would be sleeping in their own beds after a night out. They expected the twins to ask about it, but more often than not it was Drew. “But we’ll be there when you wake up. So be good. Got it?”

“Ok Mom. I got it.”

“Alright sweet boy, I’ve gotta go. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

The Knight-Harris building was a four-story brick office building with big windows on all four sides. There was a big basement floor as well where the modestly-sized gym and shower areas were located. The building had served them well over the years, especially after the addition in 2023 that saw the 4-story wing added off the back right corner of the building. The first floor was comprised of a waiting area in the front right corner, on the street side, of the building. The big, official, large conference room where their weekly staff meetings were held was in the front left corner of the building and the main entrance was between the two spaces. As you came in the front door and stepped out of the small vestibule, you were greeted by an enormous video screen that played different promotional ads for K-H throughout the day and could also be broken down into multiple smaller screens with the push of a button. Sometimes 20 different sporting events were display up there at the same time, each of them with several K-H athletes participating. A modern, semi-circle desk was in front of the gigantic video screen and Wendy Bucasevic, the long-time receptionist, manned her post with good humor, efficiency and aplomb. To the left were two small private conference rooms and then the back door that led out into the parking lot and was the door everybody who drove to work used. On the right was the elevator and then in the back right corner was the stairwell that led up to all four floors and the roof deck, as well as down to the basement below. The two public bathrooms were behind the big video screen wall, across from the stairwell. One for men and the other for women. 

The new wing stuck out perpendicular to the existing rectangular building and went up all four floors. The foundation had been poured, planning for expansion, so the basement had always been the current footprint including that rear wing. Ali and Sarah had done a great job planning for growth. On the first floor, this new wing was where the mailroom was located as well as the security office and the small nursery and child care area. The basement below had a mechanical room at the front right corner and the gym in the front left corner. The showers and bathrooms, one for men and one for women, were in the back left corner, accessible from inside the gym area. The IT department and server room and IT manager’s office were all housed in the new wing, which wasn’t really new at all in the basement.

The elevator and stairwell were located in the same place on each floor, obviously, and there were security cameras on every floor to show both. There were cameras on both doors on the first floor as well. The Christian Agnew episode had made Ali beef up the security and she had never regretted it once. Well, maybe one time when she and Ashlyn had stopped at the office on their way home after a night of dancing. They had kept up proper appearances as they walked through the hallways and then fucked each other on the couch in Ali’s office. The security guard on duty didn’t usually have much to do. He or she watched the video monitor display of the cameras at the desk or walked around for periodic security checks of the building. If anybody needed them they were only a text away. About the only thing the security guard ever had to deal with was drunk or homeless people trying to stay dry or warm and falling asleep up against the building. It was a cushy gig and the rotating team of four security guards appreciated it.

The second floor had the same general layout as the first floor but there was a kitchen and a breakroom at the front of the building, the Human Resources dept was along the left side of the building, and two bathrooms were along the back wall. The Legal Department took up the entire new wing on that floor. The third floor was comprised of 5 medium-sized offices, one each for the most-senior agents who worked locally. Jen Tucker, Whitney’s agent and fellow Tarheel, was the lead agent and had taken on a management role of the rest of the agents. She had one of the medium-sized offices on the 3rd floor along with Jerry Fuller, Paige Dandreo, Paul Calverson and Sela Shapiro. There was an open-concept office area anchored to the back wall as well and that’s where Marcy Hopkins ran the administrative support staff. Even though she had been promoted multiple times and was officially the Administrative Executive, she insisted on keeping her desk there instead of moving into another office. Her story was that she liked her window looking out over the parking lot and the few trees in the area, but everybody knew she wanted to be close to the support staff to stay in touch with what was going on. It was great management strategy and Ali lauded her for it. The new wing on the 3rd floor was full of cubicles where agents worked in bullpen-style when they were in the Boston area. 

The fourth floor had been designed as the executive floor which sounded a lot fancier than Ali or any of the other shareholders meant it to. Ali, Whitney and Jared all operated with an open-door policy and meant it sincerely. So did Ashlyn when she was in the building. The front right corner of the 4th floor was where the executive conference room sat. This was where Ali, Whitney, Jen, Marcy and Jared sometimes had lunch together. Jared Kimball’s office was in the front left corner of the building with Whitney’s office between it and the executive conference room, along the front of the building overlooking the street. Ali’s office was in the back left corner and two executive bathrooms were located on the back wall, across from Whitney’s office. Before the addition, Ashlyn’s office had been where the bathrooms currently were and Hilary Knight’s office had been taken over by Whitney once she joined the team. With the new wing off the back right corner came two bigger offices. One for Hilary and one for Ashlyn. They had both objected, offering to use one of the bullpen desks when they needed it. But Ali had insisted. The two namesakes of the company had to have their own offices even if they were rarely used and functioned more as trophy galleries than anything else. Hilary never used her office. She visited Boston a few times a year and checked in and sat in her desk chair for a total of about 2 hours’ time and that was it. Ashlyn did most of her work from home but did get into K-H a few times a week. She actually used her office there, but not nearly the same amount as Ali, Jared or Whitney did. 

The five shareholders were still dialed in and working very hard to keep K-H one of the most successful sports and entertainment agencies in the country. Ali, Jared and Whitney were in the building almost every day and did the lion’s share of the work. Hilary did virtually nothing other than lend her name and good reputation and voting rights to the company – and nobody had a problem with it. She paid attention when it was necessary and voted with intelligence and informed conviction when it was time to make decisions. But she lived in Idaho and ran one of the most prestigious hockey development programs for girls in the country. That all helped K-H in terms of clout and PR and those intangible things that made it desirable for athletes to sign with their agency. Ashlyn was somewhere in the middle of the two groups in terms of participation. She still made a point to meet and greet everybody that joined the company either as an employee or client and she went out of her way to hang out with the hard-working K-H employees who kept the ball rolling all day every day. She was kind of like the mayor or the figurehead who walked around with a smile on her face and happily did whatever was asked of her. Hers was another role that was really vital to the success and growth of the company but was difficult to qualify on a page of job descriptions. She was the local face of the company and took the job very seriously.

There was also a roof deck that they used as an informal gathering place. It had not been expanded by the new wing. K-H had gone as green as possible and had installed a rainwater collection system as well as a solar panel collection system on the roof of the new wing. Both of which had been Sarah Warren’s brilliant suggestions. One of the most popular times to be on that roof deck was the 4th of July when there was a really good view of the enormous fireworks display over the nearby Charles River. There were a few outdoor tables up there if somebody wanted to eat their lunch there too. All in all, the building was functional and efficient while being both hi-tech and comfortable enough to attract and impress clients of all ages. It was decorated, tastefully, for the holidays with wreathes on the front doors and twinkling white lights in the reception and waiting areas. Holiday cards that had been received had been digitized and were displayed periodically on the big video screen too. 

“I’m sorry, but we’re closing early this afternoon for our holiday party” Wendy frowned as she met the smiling woman who had just stepped in from the vestibule at the front entrance of the Knight-Harris building. It was 2:15pm and the receptionist was late locking the front door. She chastised herself as a cold gust of winter wind came in with the stranger in front of her. “I’m really sorry.”

“Oh, no. I had no idea. I came all the way in from Wellesley too” the stranger complained and turned her face into a friendly pout. “My Uber never showed up so I had to walk all the way from Lechmere” she added for emphasis, mentioning the subway station that was just over a mile away. “I’m chilled to the bone.”

Wendy paused to consider the woman who looked like she was in her mid to late 40s. She was about 5’5” tall, dressed in a long, expensive-looking camel-hair winter coat with dark hair under a stylish winter hat. She was overweight and breathing heavily as she shivered just inside the door. She rubbed her leather glove-clad hands together and stamped her feet on the welcome mat to try and warm her toes up. Her face was round and red and the receptionist couldn’t be sure if it was from the cold or something else. She wore tasteful make-up and classic jewelry, complete with pearl earrings. The woman looked and sounded like the typical well-heeled resident of toney Wellesley, MA but something seemed...off. She carried a big bag, also high-quality, probably real leather, but most people who commuted into the city did the same thing. 

“As I said, I’m sorry but...”

“Oh I know dear. I heard you” the stranger chuckled, confusing Wendy with a combination of aggravation and gracious understanding in her reply. “I just need a minute to catch my breath, would that be too much to ask?”

“No, no, of course not” Wendy smiled as she moved towards the vestibule to lock the front entrance door before anybody else showed up to complicate closing. “Please, have a seat.”

A half hour later Whitney Flanagan stood inside Ali’s open office door as she shrugged into her coat.

“Taking off?” the brunette asked, looking up from her laptop email.

“Yeah, I’m gonna take the little man home and make sure the sitter’s all set.”

“Oooh, bringing the big man back in with you huh?” Ali grinned at the news.

“Yes, he’s been a good boy this week so this will be his reward” the lawyer laughed as she fished her keys out of her purse. “We’ll be back by 6:00pm for sure. See you at the restaurant.”

“You got it. Give my little munchkin man a kiss from me” Ali winked.

“Ash on her way?”

“Almost. She’s gotta pick up the Jeep but she should be here by 5:00pm” the brunette replied to her friend as she turned to walk down the hallway towards the elevator. “See you soon.”

It was just before 3:00pm and most of the employees had left for the day. There were only a handful still remaining in the building. Holly McAfee, the IT manager, was down in her basement office putting the final touches on the video tribute to commemorate another successful year at K-H. She didn’t notice the stranger slowly open the door from the stairwell and quietly enter the gym. Holly didn’t notice the stranger just like Wendy hadn’t noticed her slip out of the bathroom on the first floor and into the stairwell in the first place. In Wendy’s defense, the distance the strange woman had to cover was only about 10’ and she moved quickly for a bigger woman. By 2:30pm when the stranger had asked to use the restroom behind the reception desk, she had already managed to make Wendy feel at ease around her. The stranger had convinced the receptionist that nothing was amiss. She was just a civilized suburbanite from Wellesley who had mis-timed her visit to Knight-Harris that afternoon. Wendy didn’t notice her move to the basement and just assumed she had left the building when she didn’t find her in either of the first-floor bathrooms or anyplace else on the first floor for that matter. There was nothing remotely threatening about the woman so Wendy hadn’t worried in the least. The elevator button hadn’t dinged so she knew the strange but friendly woman hadn’t taken it anywhere. Wendy did one more check of the first floor and then bundled up for her walk to her car in the parking lot behind the building.

A couple of agents who had flown in for the party were working in the bullpen area of the new wing on the 3rd floor. A couple of Whitney’s legal team were doing the same from their desks on the 2nd floor directly below. Sutapa Chakraborty, the HR manager, was laughing with two staffers in the breakroom on the 2nd floor as well. Jen Tucker, the head agent, was at her desk on the third floor, as was one of the administrative assistants. Tommy Flanagan had been the last kid to be picked up from the company daycare and the education intern from Lesley College had just left the building behind Whitney and her son. The security guard on duty sat at his desk on the first floor finishing his daily paperwork and getting ready to do a final sweep of the building now that it was closed and locked up. It was mostly quiet and still in the building, with piped-in holiday music coming from the speakers in the hallways and common areas. The big video screen behind the receptionist desk had been changed to the permanent Happy Holidays greeting from K-H, the same message that had gone out on all of their holiday cards both printed and digital. Everything was at it should be.

“Hey Holly” the security guard greeted the IT manager when he poked his head into the IT department in the basement at 3pm. “You heading out soon?”

“Just finishing up. Had to add in that picture of Paul’s car from April Fool’s day” she chuckled as she pushed buttons on her keyboard. “Patrick got him so good.”

“Oh, was that shipping peanuts prank?”

“Sure was” she grinned.

“I heard about that. Remind me not to take the April 1st shift next year will ya?”

“You and me both!” she laughed.

“You all set down here? Just you?” he asked as he got ready to resume his duties.

“Yep, just me. And the shipping peanuts” she winked. “Have a good night Doug.”

“You too” the security guard smiled and then continued his sweep of the basement.

He opened the stairwell door he was standing next to and peered inside, using his flashlight to illuminate the semi-dark space. He did the same thing in the mechanical room and got the same, satisfied result. He entered the gym and then each of the two small locker rooms that opened off of it. They were little more than showers and bathrooms, two toilet stalls and two shower stalls and two sinks in each bathroom. Doug the security guard knocked on both doors and then entered each bathroom, sweeping the ground with his flashlight and finding nothing. He walked right past the bathroom stall where the stranger was squatting on top of the toilet seat, feet perched on each side of the toilet seat and her whole body hidden from view. The stall door was open about an inch and the stranger held her breath as he walked past it on his way back out of the room. He went back to the elevator and took it up to the first floor to continue his sweep. The stranger waited another 30 minutes for Holly the IT manager to leave for the day and then she got rid of her mother’s winter coat and hat and wiped the loud lipstick off of her face with the back of her hand. She took the pearl earrings out of her ears and left it all in her big black bag in one of the changing cubbies for the showers. She put her phone in the outside pocket of her backpack and slung it over one shoulder. She took a deep breath as she nodded nervously at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

“You can do this. It’s just Ali. Just talk to her. You can do this.”

Marcy Hopkins was still working that afternoon as well. She was at her desk in the open-concept area of the 3rd floor and had just retrieved the executive mail from the 1st floor. It was 3pm and as soon as she saw the envelope, her stomach churned and she got up from her desk and walked to the stairwell.

“Hey Marce” Ali smiled as she looked up to see her right-hand woman and protégé walking towards her desk. “I thought you were actually going to leave early this year, what happened?”

“Jen had something and...”

“And you sent everybody else home so you did it yourself, right?”

“Yes” she gave the brunette an awkward half-smile and kept approaching the desk.

“Uh oh. I almost forgot. I was having too good of an afternoon” she groaned as she sat up straighter and took a couple of deep breaths. “What have we got today?”

“It’s a letter. I didn’t feel anything else inside it” she explained as she stood right next to Ali so they were both looking down at the brunette’s desk. Sometimes a gift had been included in the envelope, as long as it wasn’t too big. “Ready?”

“No, but go ahead anyway” Ali sighed and watched Marcy open the envelope and carefully unfold 3 pages of hand-written words. “Let’s get it over with.”

The two women read the letter, cringing as they usually did at the twisted sentiments that tried so hard to sound like love but were really the exact opposite.

“Another poem” Marcy commented when they got to the third and final page. 

Ali’s breath hitched when she saw the poem. Her mind reeled and her head spun and she was thankful she was sitting in her desk chair or she might have fallen over from surprise.

“Yeah. Ok I’ve got it” she nodded grimly at Marcy. “I’ll bring it to the police on my way to the restaurant.”

“I can take it if you want...”

“No, I’ll do it. Thanks Marce. You outta here now, finally?”

“Yeah, I’m meeting some of the gang for a drink before the party starts. Wanna come?”

“No thank you” Ali smiled warmly at the thoughtful invitation. “I’ve gotta finish a couple of things and get changed” she nodded towards her dress on the hanger. “Thanks though. Buy a round on me, ok?”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I want to. Just bring me the receipt please” they shared a smile and Marcy moved towards the office door. “Now get out of here and go have fun. See you soon.”

The brunette watched her go and then sat back in her chair, exhaling loudly. She reached for her water bottle and drained it, hoping it would refresh and cleanse and replenish her all at the same time. She kept telling herself to slow down and breathe but she couldn’t get her thoughts to stop pinging around like a pinball inside her head. She took a few more deep breaths and blew them all out loud with closed eyes for better concentration. That was it. She just had to concentrate on...what? exactly? Just shut up and concentrate. Breathe, calm down, and concentrate. After a full two minutes of mostly-failed attempts she opened her eyes and looked at the pages of the latest letter on her desk. How the fuck could this be happening? It seemed obvious and ridiculous at the same time. There was no way it could be her...could it? Could it really be her? The thought made Ali nauseous and she shoved her chair back and grabbed the trashcan from under her desk. She bent over and dry heaved three times, gagging and gasping for breath. She grabbed her back-up water bottle and finished that too, panting a bit when she was done. It just couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t be. She shook her head and fought back tears as she looked at the poem her secret admirer had written out so carefully by hand. No, not secret admirer...fucking stalker. Call her what she is. No...it can’t be true. It can’t be her. But as wretched and revolting as Ali found the thought to be, the proof was staring back at her from the page. She read the poem that she knew by heart, fending off a barrage of memories and feelings that she hadn’t considered in almost two decades.

 

‘Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,  
In a kingdom by the sea,  
That a maiden there lived whom you may know  
By the name of Annabel Lee;  
And this maiden she lived with no other thought  
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,  
In this kingdom by the sea;  
But we loved with a love that was more than love –  
I and my Annabel Lee;  
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven  
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,  
In this kingdom by the sea,  
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling  
My beautiful Annabel Lee;  
So that her highborn kinsman came  
And bore her away from me,  
To shut her up in a sepulchre  
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,  
Went envying her and me –  
Yes! – that was the reason (as all men know,  
In this kingdom by the sea)  
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,  
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love  
Of those who were older than we –  
Of many far wiser than we –  
And neither the angels in heaven above,  
Nor the demons down under the sea,  
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side  
Of my darling – my darling – my life and my bride,  
In the sepulcher there by the sea,  
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

-Edgar Allen Poe’

That poem...that poem was their poem. It had been their poem back when they used to be together. Back when they used to read poetry to each other as impossibly young women with impossibly big hopes and dreams. It was about young love, pure love, love that couldn’t be broken or severed by anything, not even death. They used to write it out, line by line, each taking a turn as they passed the note back and forth in the silent library while they were supposed to be studying. They both knew it by heart and loved it and believed it was some kind of prescient ode to their life and their future. Looking back on it now, after all of the things that had happened this year, it felt creepy and dirty and dark. It never ever used to feel like that. When they had been young and naïve it always read as devotional and romantic and tragic, yes, but never dark. The serious words balanced out by the lilting meter and rhyme. But now, all these years later, it was dark and ominous. Ali shivered as she read again. How the fuck did this happen? What the fuck had happened to Emily Quindlen to turn her into this untethered, sick, stalker?  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s. Annabel Lee is the first poem I truly loved and it was the poem that got me into poetry in the first place. It hurt me a little bit to use it here like this....but the more I read it the more perfect it was for the scenario. Sorry Edgar!
> 
> p.p.s. If anybody wants to familiarize themselves with Ali's history with Emily here are the chapters:  
> Ali shared her Emily story with Ashlyn back in Part 1 when she visited Satellite Beach to surprise her for her 30th birthday. Chapter 31.   
> Ali talks to her therapist about it in Part 2, and those appts are summarized in Chapter 44.  
> Emily gets mentioned again briefly when Ali is struggling to get her head right so she can move into the big old house with Ashlyn. That’s Part 2, chapter 31 when Ali and her mom talk about Emily a bit.


	29. It Wasn't Supposed to Be This Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bigger cliffie than last time. Sorry.   
> One more chapter after this one coming to wrap everything up. Hopefully this weekend.

Ali felt hollow, like someone had sucked everything out of her body and left her a husk of a human being. She shook her head and tried to get her bearings again, even though she hadn’t moved from her desk chair since Marcy had left the room 15 minutes earlier. It was 3:30pm, she noticed as she glanced down at her laptop before powering it down and closing it. She was a robot, going through the motions as she typically did to end her work day. She put her pen back in the giant black mug that said ‘Boss Mom’ on it in brightly colored letters and pushed her keyboard drawer in under her desk. She reached for another drink of water only to find both bottles empty – but she knew that. She had just drained them not more than 10 minutes earlier. What the fuck was happening? Everything was spinning and tilting and she couldn’t tell which way was up anymore. Finally, her brain latched onto something solid and steadied itself for a minute. Ashlyn. Ashlyn would be there in about 90 minutes, maybe less, and she would make everything ok again. Ashlyn always made everything alright. Her sweet, sweet Ashlyn. 

The brunette stood up on wobbly legs and smoothed the creases in her dress slacks by her hips. She took a shaky breath and then another, willing her mind to stop jumping around on her. She closed her eyes but immediately felt dizzy and opened them again with a groan. The bathroom. Go to the bathroom. Your bladder is full. And bring the water bottles with you to refill them. Yeah. Keep it simple. Just do these two things for now. You don’t really need your brain much for them anyway. Go ahead. Move. Slowly at first, but then gradually finding a more normal pace, Ali walked out of her office in the back left corner of the 4th floor. She headed to the first of the two side by side executive bathrooms and started to feel a bit better as she leaned into the door. Getting her legs to work had helped the rest of her body restart too. The two bathrooms on the 4th floor were individual restrooms and unisex. Nobody used them but Ali, Whitney, and Jared most days and it was rare to bump into anybody in the process. Before she could put her weight into the door to push it open, it was rapidly pulled open from the inside – startling her and making her yelp and drop both Nalgene water bottles.

“Jesus!” she breathed out and put her hand to her chest.

“Sorry Al” Jared cocked his head at her as he reached behind him to throw out the paper towel he had just used to dry his hands. “You ok?” he frowned. “You don’t look so good.”

“You scared me” she chuckled but didn’t move to try and do anything other than breathe.

Jared bent down and picked up the empty bottles and put them behind him on the counter next to the sink. He turned the light back on for his boss and friend and sister-in-law before stepping around her so he was out of the bathroom door opening and speaking again.

“I’m heading out. Do you need anything before I go?” he asked, still frowning with concern.

“No, I’m good” Ali gave him a small smile as she stepped into the bathroom and leaned against the door to face him. “Can you make sure Holly’s got the video ready before you go though?”

“It’s done” he returned the smile, relieved to see the rattled woman looking a bit more like herself. “We’re going over now to make sure the monitor’s set up and all of that fun stuff.”

“Don’t you have interns for that?” she joked softly.

“Yes, but the point of tonight is to thank them...”

“I know, I know” she rolled her eyes as playfully as she could. “I told Marcy to buy a round for the staff who was getting there early. You do the same for your team, ok?”

“Got it boss” he winked. “Is Ash coming to get you?”

“Yeah, she’s on her way. Go have fun. We’ll be there soon.”

The empty bladder and the familiar face had settled the brunette considerably. Her mind was still on tilt and probably would be for the rest of the night as she tried to process everything that had just happened and come to light. She still couldn’t believe it. Emily? Sweet Emily could no more hurt her or threaten her than Ashlyn could. Ali thought hard to come up with a different explanation as she stood at the bubbler next to the bathrooms filling up the water bottles. Why couldn’t it be Emily? First of all, Emily just wouldn’t do something like this. It didn’t make any sense. Emily had loved her...wait a minute. That’s how all of this started. A fan. A really devoted fan who kept getting creepier and creepier over the past 7 months. Ok, well it couldn’t be Emily because that is not her handwriting. Plain and simple. Ali had seen her handwriting routinely and had read actual love letters from the young woman while they were a couple and living together. This blockish, non-descript printing that was common to all of the letters, postcards, poems and everything else, didn’t look anything like Emily’s handwriting. Except for the ‘z’s, the lowercase z. Emily always used to put a horizontal line through it because she thought it looked cool and European. Ali had never noticed it before that moment at the bubbler, but the lowercase z in all the ‘amazing’s she had read in those letters had that same line crossing through the z. What the fuck?

The problem was that Ali had come to loathe this stalker so much that there was no way to reconcile the image and idea she had in her head of this lunatic creeper and the sweet but troubled love she had known so long ago. She had loved Emily with all her heart. Emily had given her the first real kiss of her life – the first kiss that felt like fireworks and passion. Emily had been sweet and kind to her and they had done all of the foolish, romantic things that young lovers do, like read poetry to each other in bed and write love letters when they were supposed to be studying in the library. There’s no way that Emily could be doing these things to her and her family now. No way.

But the Emily who would retreat inside herself for days at a time when she was having a hard time dealing with somebody on campus cat-calling them for holding hands – that Emily was another story. The Emily who left Ali alone for five Christmas Eves because she couldn’t stomach bringing her home to her parents was different. Who could be that selfish and callous about someone that they truly loved? The Emily who rebuffed so many of Ali’s sexual advances, even after they’d been living together as a couple, she was something entirely apart from the loving girlfriend who would eventually propose marriage. None of it made any sense. But, the more Ali thought about it, the more frustrated she got about how things had been when she and Emily were a couple. The brunette thought so long and hard about these incongruous things that the second water bottle overflowed and flooded the catch tray of the bubbler.

“Shit!” she muttered as she cleaned up the mess she had made. “Goddammit!” she yelled out loud, knowing there was nobody else on the 4th floor for her to disturb.

Ali wondered what time it was and cursed to herself because her phone was plugged in and charging on her desk. She crossed the wide hallway to the executive conference room at the front of the building and peered at the clock on the wall. 3:40pm Thank God. Ashlyn would be there in just over an hour. Ali couldn’t explain it, but she felt an irrational need to see her wife. To feel her presence and to have her wrap her up in her strong arms. She just needed to feel safe and there was no place safer than inside those loving arms.

“Suck it up Krieger” she told herself as she retrieved the two full water bottles and walked back to her office.

Ali’s office was shaped like a rectangle with the far end of it wider than the end near the bathrooms and her office door. If you stood just inside her office door and turned to your left you were facing the length of the room. Behind you, along the wall, was a counter with some shelves and a mini-fridge below it. These counter systems were in every office on the fourth floor as well as all of the conference rooms, even the two small private conference rooms on the first floor. In the far right corner of the office was Ali’s desk and she had it turned on an angle so the back of her desk chair aligned with the corner of the room. There were two comfortable leather chairs in front of the desk and a coat rack in the corner behind her desk chair. That’s where her pretty red party dress hung, waiting for her. The left corner of the room was where the office got wider, creating a sort of a nook. There was a nice leather couch in that nook, facing the desk, and two matching end tables on either side. There was a large window on the wall between the desk and the couch, and another one on the other side of the desk that looked out into the parking lot at the rear of the building. Handsome wood bookshelves and filing cabinets filled the rest of the wall space on that long back wall of the building. There was an overhead light controlled by the wall switch just inside the door, and then there were two table lamps, one on each end table by the couch. Ali had also picked out a Frank Lloyd Wright styled desk lamp that she used every single day. For the amount of time she spent there, the office was comfortable and cozy with a nice modern feel to everything. Even the antique desk lamp felt modern because of the distinctive design. Leave it to Frank Lloyd Wright to deliver timeless beauty and bring joy to a businesswoman in the year 2029.

Ali walked into her office, still not fully firing on all cylinders but feeling better than she had when she had left the room 15 minutes earlier. She left her door open, as it had been all afternoon, and walked behind her desk. She decided to just get dressed for the party and let her brain stew for a while. The brunette had her eyes on the dress hanging in the corner in front of her and almost had a heart attack when she heard a strange, breathy voice.

“Hey...hey there Ali. Hi.”

“What the fuck?!” the brunette dropped both water bottles again and spun towards the couch to face whomever was doing the talking. She squinted at the visitor, trying to focus on them, while her body reacted to this new shock the same way it had to the previous ones that afternoon. Sheer confusion and disbelief. “How...how did you get in here?” she shook her head and leaned her hands onto the desktop to steady herself as the blood rushed around inside her head again.

“I just walked up” Emily shrugged as she stood up and slowly moved between Ali and the office door. 

Ali’s eyes followed her, continuing to try and focus and see and understand. 

“Who are you? Can I help you with something?” she shook her head again, confused but not alarmed. “You startled me.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you” Emily smiled as she stood there, one arm holding on to the backpack strap over her shoulder. “I came to see you.”

“Oh, did we have an appointment?” Ali looked for her phone and then saw it plugged in and charging on the edge of the desk.

“Why don’t you come sit over here so we can talk?” Emily suggested, taking a step towards Ali and the desk and motioning towards the couch with her arm. “It won’t take long.”

The two women stared at each other for almost a full minute before Ali caught a glimmer of...something in her eyes. Something in those tired blue eyes took the brunette back 24 years until she was standing in front of the cute girl from her comparative literature class from senior year at BU.

“Emily...” she whispered.

“So you do recognize me” Emily smiled broadly. “I wasn’t sure if you would or not. It’s been a long time and...” she looked down sheepishly at her overweight body and blushed a tiny bit, “I’ve changed.”

The shock still had a hold of Ali and she was trying to hear what Emily was saying even though it sounded like it was coming through a distortion machine and running in slow motion. She blinked several times and closed her mouth after realizing it was still open. Ali took in the sight of her first love and felt pity added to the swirling emotions flooding her system. Emily was an average looking 45-year old woman with light brown hair in a shaggy bob that only emphasized the roundness of her heavy face. She wore nice jeans tucked into fashionable winter boots and a big forest green sweater that covered her bulky frame and overweight body. Her skin was pale and slightly sweaty and Ali realized for the first time that she must be nervous as hell. The only thing that looked like her Emily from so long ago was her eyes. Everything else was a gross distortion of the pretty girl she had once been.

“Go on, go sit on the couch” Emily took a couple of steps towards the desk to prompt Ali to move the other direction towards the couch. “We need to talk and I don’t want there to be any interruptions” she watched as the brunette’s spine stiffened before her eyes.

“I’m fine right here, thank you” she nodded graciously at the visitor but her eyes were steely. “But please, make yourself comfortable.”

“No, no” Emily started shifting her weight from one foot to the other as her agitation grew. “You sit on the couch. Now. Please” she gave Ali a pleading look. “I just want to talk to you. Please.”

“Why can’t we talk like this?” Ali smiled, sensing the nervous energy emanating from her ex-fiancee and trying to assuage it.

“Just sit on the fucking couch!” Emily yelled and pointed. Ali flinched and swallowed hard at the abrupt change in demeanor. Emily rubbed her aching forehead with her free hand and lowered her voice back to normal. “How hard is that?”

“Emily, listen...” Ali moved away from the approaching stalker, surreptitiously trying to grab her phone as she did so.

“Don’t touch your phone” Emily caught her. “I didn’t want it to be this way” she shook her head in disappointment as she pulled Edward’s 9mm handgun out of her backpack and pointed it vaguely at the desk. She didn’t want to use it but she wasn’t going to let Ali call that bitch wife of hers or the security guard either. She hadn’t come all this way to miss the chance to talk to Ali Krieger again. No fucking way. “Please.”

Ali felt her heart stop when she saw the gun. The dizziness came back as she tried to force her mind to stay in control. She slowly moved to the couch and sat down in the end seat, as far away from her stalker as possible. She sat up straight with her hands in her lap, tugging nervously on her fingers as she tried to think of what the fuck to do.

“Thank you. See, that wasn’t so hard. Why’d you have to make me get the gun out? I didn’t want it to be like this” she complained as she closed the office door and locked it. She came back and sat on the corner of Ali’s desk closest to the couch. She put the backpack on the desk next to her and let the gun rest on her thigh, right hand still loosely on the grip. “Oh, here” she reached for one of the water bottles and handed it to Ali. “You probably filled these up because you were thirsty” she smiled at the terrified brunette who didn’t say anything in return. 

“You don’t have to be afraid of me Ali, I’m not going to hurt you. That’s the last thing I would ever do. I just want to talk to you. I feel so close to you but I want to hear from you. I want to hear your voice. How are you doing? Are you happy?”

“Are you kidding me?” Ali quirked her eyebrow reflexively. “You’ve been stalking me for months and you’re holding me hostage with a gun but I don’t have to be afraid of you because you don’t really want to hurt me?”

“Yes. I haven’t hurt you at all. And I’m not a stalker” she recoiled at the idea even as she spoke the words. “I just wanted to see what you were doing and find out how your life turned out.”

“Well, that’s stalking and I can’t believe it’s you. God, never in a million years did I think it would be you” it was impossible to miss the sadness and disappointment in the last sentence and Emily heard it too.

“Al, I love you. I’ve always loved you. I don’t think I could ever love anybody else as long as I live and I don’t want to find out. All I’ve been trying to do is tell you that. My letters and gifts, they’ve all just been my way of trying to tell you that. That’s why I’m here right now, today. I got tired of all of that bullshit and just had to see you, face to face. I love you so much...”

“Stop saying that!”

“What? Why? It’s the truth.”

“There’s no way you can love me and still put me through all the hell you’ve put me through this year” she spat out angrily.

“What are you talking about? All I’ve done is tell you how incredible you are, what a great businesswoman and a great mom...”

“Don’t you dare talk about my kids” the brunette fixed her with a deathly glare. “Not one word about them.”

Emily’s face scrunched up in confusion as she tried to understand Ali’s reaction. None of this was going the way she had planned. None of it. She rubbed her forehead again and winced at the pain in her head.

“Why are you so mad at me? Your wife goes away to sleep with her mistress for three weeks but you let her come back home and don’t batt an eye. That’s who you should be mad at, that cheating whore. Not me!”

“What are you talking about? Ashlyn doesn’t have a mistress” it was Ali’s turn to wear confusion across her face. “You have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“Are you seriously going to sit there and expect me to believe that you don’t know she’s cheating on you?! Wake up Ali!”

Emily rattled off the soap opera details of Ashlyn’s alleged affair while Ali’s mind reeled at what was happening in her office right at that moment. She felt like she was in an old episode of the Twilight Zone where everything was upside down and nothing made sense anymore. Strange flashes of her past with Emily popped into her head as she tried to make sense of the words. All sorts of images flashed in her mind’s eye as she sat there in shock – the last of which was the holiday concert from the night before at the Elementary School. All four kids had participated and it had been one of the Krieger family’s finest moments. When Emily stopped talking, out of breath from so many meaningless words, she raised her eyebrows at Ali expectantly.

“You’re fucking crazy...” the words slipped out of the brunette’s mouth before she could stop them. 

Ever since she had fallen in love with Ashlyn and gotten more familiar with mental illness and its many sizes and shapes, Ali had made a point to stop saying things like ‘you’re crazy’ or ‘that’s nuts’ and other turns of phrase that sounded insensitive to the millions of people walking around everyday struggling with some kind of mental illness. But this time her brain was too busy to edit herself.

“Don’t you fucking call me crazy!” she exploded, lunging off the desk and looming over Ali as she shouted. “I’m not crazy! There’s a whole thread on LChat that talks about it. It all adds up. I thought you were smarter than this, but I guess not.”

She had moved so suddenly that a waft of air had come with her and Ali recoiled from the smell of her. It was a mixture of some kind of fruity smell and sweat and Ali felt her stomach turn.

“Don’t fucking call me crazy” Emily repeated as she turned one of the leather chairs around so it was facing the couch and sat down in it, gun still in her hand.

Neither one of them spoke for several seconds and then they heard the elevator ding down the hallway. Emily sat next to Ali on the couch, folding her arms across her stomach to hide the gun that was pointed at the brunette’s side.

“Whoever it is, get rid of them” she whispered tersely. “We’re not done talking yet. And if you think I’m kidding...”

“I got it” Ali froze when she felt the hard muzzle of the gun in her ribs. “I got it.”

There was a knock on the door and both women flinched even though they knew it was coming.

“Everything good Mrs. Krieger?” a voice Ali recognized as the security guard’s sounded through the locked door.

“I’m all set Doug. Just getting changed for the party” she called out, hoping he would insist on her opening the door.

“Oh well alrighty then. Sorry to disturb you. Call me if you need me.”

“Thanks Doug.”

Both women sat in silence for another minute until they heard the heavy stairwell door open and close. It was an incredible moment for Emily who had longed to be close to Ali like this for months, hell for years. She didn’t want to move away from her. She had been admiring Ali and her attractive business outfit since the brunette had entered the office. She wore a cream-colored blouse that was soft and flowing and had billowing sleeves and soft ruffles along the v-neckline. Her dress slacks were a grey-brown blend that went nicely with both the blouse and the dark brown dress shoes on her feet. Emily would have preferred her in heels, but these feminine styled leather wingtips were nice too. Her shoulder-length hair was down and almost all of the curls she had put in the ends that morning had faded away. It was jarring to see her engagement and wedding ring set up close and personal but Emily shook it off. To be so close, close enough to pick up the scent of her, it was intoxicating and she felt her heart start to race.

“You smell so nice” she said softly, turning her head and breathing her in deeply. “I was just thinking about that the other day” she smiled at Ali who sat there stone-faced and disgusted. “I was remembering when I would wake to your smell, your shampoo, with your beautiful long hair everywhere. What I wouldn’t give to wake up like that again” she added wistfully.

Ali’s panic jumped to the next level. She had been stunned to see Emily there in her office that day but she had never really felt like her life was in danger. The gun had changed that but she had still felt that Emily was just using it to control her and that she didn’t actually mean her any harm. But this...creepy trip down memory lane and the close body contact was something different. The brunette swallowed hard, truly afraid for the first time, and forced herself to smile back and try and relax her body. She had to get Emily out of there before Ashlyn showed up. Nothing good was going to happen once that happened. The stalker...Emily, had made it crystal clear exactly how she felt about Ashlyn and adding her to this insane reunion wasn’t going to help anything. If Ali could convince Emily to leave then she could call the police and they could just pick her up. Now that she knew who the stalker was it would be easy. She felt Emily’s body pressed up close against her side and redoubled her efforts to stay on point.

“I have nice memories from our time together too Em” she gave an awkward half-smile and willed herself to stay calm and relaxed. She even used her nickname, hoping it would help.

“You do?” Emily seemed genuinely surprised. “You remember our time together? It was so fucking long ago. Do you know that it’s been 24 years since we met? 24 years this past September.”

“It can’t be 24 years, has it really been that long?”

“You walked into that Comparative Lit class and I fell for you, just like that” Emily smiled warmly at her ex-fiancee, pulling the gun back and relaxing just a bit. “My heart hasn’t been my own ever since.”

“That was an early class” Ali chuckled, “but I didn’t miss it once all semester.”

“The only 8am class I ever liked, or can remember now” Emily laughed and for another second Ali had a glimpse of the girl she once loved. Emily leaned back a bit so she could use her left arm and trace her fingers up Ali’s arm to her shoulder. She let out a barely audible moan and then caught herself, noticing how Ali had stiffened her whole body at the touch. “No” she spoke sternly to herself and pulled her hand away again. “Don’t touch her.”

Ali’s pulse quickened when she heard the internal struggle her captor was engaged in. It occurred to the brunette that Emily might be crazier than she even feared. Did she have a split personality and the evil one was the one causing all the trouble? What the fuck was happening now? As Emily frowned and muttered something else to herself, Ali decided that her best option was to keep going down the friendly route she had already started. If she could convince Emily that they could be friends maybe she would leave.

“So, what have you been up to all these years?” she asked as nicely as possible, trying to seem interested and friendly.

“Me? Oh well that’s a sad fucking story that you don’t want to know, trust me” she answered as she shifted a few inches away from Ali on the couch. The gun was still in her right hand and still pointed at the brunette.

“But I do want to know” Ali forced herself to turn towards Emily and try and make their positioning more conversational. It worked.

“You do?”

“I really do Em.”

Emily considered her for a minute and then started talking in a shy voice.

“Right after...you left...” Emily began but was interrupted.

“You left me Emily” Ali’s voice was quiet, trying not to sound judgmental but wanting to keep as many facts straight as she could.

“Well, yeah, I know” Emily stammered and dropped her eyes for a few seconds. “I meant after you and your brother left my parents’ house that day...the last time we were together” she lifted her eyes to meet Ali’s and saw the brunette nod in understanding.

“Ok. What happened after Kyle and I left your parents’ house?”

“Well it took about a month but they sent me to McLean.”

“Oh, is that a school in Connecticut?” Ali tried to get her brain to function faster. “It sounds familiar.”

“No” Emily laughed but it wasn’t the sweet laugh from before. It was bitter and harsh and her tone was almost condescending. “McLean Hospital. The psychiatric hospital in Belmont where all the rich people go to lose their minds.”

“Oh, yeah” Ali swallowed and kicked herself for not recognizing the name. 

Most people in the Boston area knew of McLean Hospital, at least to some degree. If nothing else, they recognized it as the mental hospital from the movie ‘Girl, Interrupted’ that had starred Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie and had been set there. The film was based on Susanna Kaysen’s harrowing memoir of the same name which depicted her years spent at McLean. Emily stared at her former lover, enjoying the discomfort on Ali’s beautiful face. She had been miserable and decidedly more than uncomfortable during her time at the insane asylum – it felt right that Ali felt a tiny amount of it right in that moment.

“Yeah” Emily nodded, a mixture of defiance and triumph in her blue eyes. “Rings a bell doesn’t it?”

“I’m sorry” Ali spoke sincerely. She had always wondered what had happened to Emily after that day at her parents’ house. She had hoped that the young woman had gotten exactly the type of psychiatric treatment offered at McLean Hospital. Ali had always hoped that Emily had found a way to deal with her demons and get back to leading a fulfilling life. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy. But did you get the help you were looking for there?”

“I spent two years there Al” Emily’s eyes narrowed as she spoke. She paused for a few seconds. “You tell me. Do you think I got the help I needed?”

It was a loaded question that Ali had no intention of touching. She blinked back at her captor, genuine regret and pity finding their way to the front of her brain even as the fear and anger and outrage still held center court.

“You look good Em” she lied through her teeth. Even after the twenty minutes they had been talking together she still couldn’t see one thing that looked like her ex-fiancee besides her eyes.

Emily let the words wash over her, enjoying every second of the praise and flattery she had been yearning for. But then reality set in again and she could feel the flop sweat dripping down her back and between her breasts. She was an overweight, unattractive mess of a human being and she knew it. It had taken her years to get to that level of disrepair and she had foolishly thought she could correct it over the course of one extended summer. The self-loathing and self-consciousness came back to her in a rush and she sneered at the brunette.

“No I don’t. Don’t fucking lie to me Ali. I’m surprised you even recognized me. But that’s what happens when your medicine keeps your mind right but fucks up every other part of your entire system. What the hell’s the point of keeping your head on straight if the rest of you goes to hell so you’re too embarrassed to be seen in public? Huh? Tell me. What is the fucking point of that?!”

Ali shrank back when Emily shouted out the last sentence at her, trying to ignore the bit of spittle that flew from her lips and landed on her cheek. It felt like a poison dart and the brunette had to summon every bit of willpower she had not to brush it away. She knew that would only infuriate her captor more.

“There is no point. That’s the fucking answer. There’s no point so I stopped taking my pills. Fuck em. Fuck em all. Fuck Edward. And fuck Janice. And fuck my idiot doctor. And fuck my moron shrink. Fuck. Them. All.”

Emily was breathing heavily and had gotten quite worked up. She made herself take a few deep breaths, never taking her eyes off of her beloved former fiancée. 

“Did you know that Anne Sexton stayed at McLean too?” she quirked her eyebrow as she mentioned one of the poets they had both loved back in their time together. When Ali shook her head no, Emily continued. “She won the Pulitzer Prize for poetry in 1967. She killed herself in 1974 by carbon monoxide poisoning – the old run your car in the closed-up garage trick. Worked like a charm” Emily smiled and her eyes began to look glassy. “She was Bi-polar, just like me. She’s buried at Forest Hills. I went to her grave when I got out. I don’t know” she sighed, “I felt close to her for some reason. Knowing we had the same disease. Oh, did you hear what came out after she was already dead?” she leaned forward as if she and Ali were teenagers sharing the latest gossip. Ali just shook her head again, afraid of what was coming next. “She and her husband had two daughters and it turns out she...wait, let me get it right” she took a breath and squinted. “She physically and sexually assaulted them. Yes. That’s what the story said. One of her daughter’s wrote a book about it or something” she shook her head and clucked. “What a fucking mess.”

“Jesus...” Ali said softly, stunned at both the story and at the cavalier way Emily was recounting it. It almost seemed like she was enjoying it.

“Fucked up, right? I know. And everybody knows Sylvia Plath was at McLean too. She was a local girl just like us. She grew up in Winthrop – that’s where she tried to kill herself the very first time. She took a bunch of her mother’s sleeping pills and crawled under the house to die. There was some dirt crawlspace and she spent 3 whole days there before they found her. She was 22 years old. She was clinically depressed. That was her disease. She went to Wellesley high school – which I think is cool because I live in Wellesley now. It makes me feel...closer to her” Emily’s face softened as she thought about the serendipity. “She went to Smith College in Northampton too. Then she killed herself in 1963 when she was 31 years old. She left her two little kids alone in the house when she stuck her head in the oven. Unbelievable” she shook her head again, seemingly more amazed than anything. “She won a posthumous Pulitzer for Poetry in 1982.”

“How do you know all of this? Why are you telling me this?” Ali’s anxiety had risen with each creepy sentence.

“Well, there’s not a lot to do when you’re in the looney bin for two years. So, if you like poetry like I do, you find yourself looking for commonalities in a place like that. Did you know James Taylor and Ray Charles were both at McLean? I never knew that about either of them. So was John Nash – you know, the guy they made that movie about with Russell Crowe? ‘A Beautiful Mind’?” she paused to look at Ali who was staring back at her with a frown. “No? Didn’t see that one? How about ‘Girl, Interrupted’? You must have seen that one. That came out when we were in high school. Susanna Kaysen didn’t kill herself though. Not yet anyway, at least I don’t think she has. She might be the rare bird that gets out of McLean and lives to a ripe old and dies of natural causes. My hero” she laughed bitterly and Ali felt a chill. “How about Robert Lowell? You must remember him, don’t you?” she raised both eyebrows expectantly and nodded at the brunette.

“Yes, of course” Ali replied as she tried to think of a way to break out of this macabre scenario. “He and Elizabeth Bishop were great friends...”

“You got it. Good for you! I wish I had a prize to give you” she looked around her and felt her pockets, looking for anything that might suffice. “Oh, here, I guess I can give this back to you. You don’t happen to have my gold cross on you, do you?” she asked as she placed the blue stone she had taken from the big old house on the couch between them.

Ali gasped when she recognized the priceless memento. Her entire system convulsed when her brain processed what the stone’s presence there meant. For the next several minutes all she could focus on was the blue stone.

“No? Damn, I really need that back. I’m going a little crazy without it. Ha, I didn’t mean that to be funny” she chuckled and then sighed sadly as she felt her bare neck for the missing token. “Oh well. Maybe next time” she smiled at the idea that she and Ali might get together again for another chat sometime soon. “Anyway, fuck I get so distracted these days...where was I?” she cocked her head and thought hard. “Oh yeah, Robert Lowell. That’s right. So, he suffered from manic depression, poor bastard. He won the Pulitzer Prize for poetry twice! Probably because he was a man but whatever, don’t get me started on the patriarchal bullshit that goes on in this shitshow of a country” she spat out angrily and waved her arms around, gun still in her right hand. “He was Poet Laureate too, in...” she looked up as she tried to come up with the facts she had memorized 16 years ago during her own time at McLean. “1947! Boom. Got it. That was harder than it should have been though. I’m getting soft. Anyway, he was at McLean too. He even wrote a poem about it called ‘Walking in the Blue’. I didn’t like it very much but I haven’t read it in a while. But here’s the thing that blows my mind. Lowell was at McLean in 1958. Later that year he gave writing seminars in Boston...somewhere, I don’t know, probably Harvard, doesn’t matter where...but guess who was attending those writing seminars?” her animated face waited impatiently for Ali to answer. “Go on, guess!”

“Ummm I don’t know” Ali shrugged, getting agitated by the whole fucking thing. Her mind was still reeling from the blue stone that was now sitting on the couch. She felt like she might throw up again and wished she had brought the trashcan over with her. “Elizabeth Bishop” she exhaled loudly as she answered.

“No, no, no. Really Al?” Emily seemed surprised by the answer. “Elizabeth Bishop was in Brazil with Lota then” she laughed and then her face flushed in frustration almost instantly. “No, fuck!” she brought the hand that wasn’t holding the gun to her forehead and rubbed it vigorously as she grimaced. “That’s not right. She was the Poet Laureate right after Lowell so she had to be here in the States for that. But...ok, he did the seminars in 1958 so, yeah, she was falling in love with her architect down in South America. Fuck, my head hurts so bad” she groaned and then straightened up abruptly. “Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t fucking matter!!” she yelled out loud. “The answer is Sylvia fucking Plath and Anne fucking Sexton. They were both in Boston at the same time and went to Robert Lowell’s seminars. They all talked about how fucked up they were too. There are letters about it. Sylvia said she talked to Lowell about depression and Sexton about suicide attempts. How incredible is that?? They had all recently been patients at McLean and then they went on to win Pulitzers and kill themselves. Ha ha ha” she chuckled. “Lowell didn’t kill himself though. He lived to be 60 years old and died of a heart attack. Lucky son of a bitch.” 

Just then Ali’s phone rang and they both jumped. Emily got up and leaned over the desk to look at the caller ID screen that displayed a beautiful picture of Ashlyn.

“Oh, hell no” Emily yanked the phone away from the charging cord and showed it to Ali. “This fucking bitch just ruins everything” she hit the button and made the call go to voicemail before angrily turning back to face Ali. “We’re finally having a nice conversation and she has to ruin that too. Not today bitch!” she yelled and started to pace back and forth from one end of the couch to the other.

Ali’s mind whirled at all of the facts Emily had just doled out, marveling for a moment at the beauty of her brain. Emily had always been smart. It had been one of the things that had attracted the brunette to her in the first place. Then, out of nowhere, Ali’s mind took her to the odd correlation of her favorite poet’s passionate affair with the Brazilian architect and her own romance with Sarah the architect way back in 2015. Ali felt like the one who was going crazy. Everything seemed out of context and surreal and really fucking scary all of a sudden. Was Emily telling her about all of her poet idols’ suicides because she was planning to bring about her own end? What did that mean for Ali? Was she going to be some kind of sacrifice made because she got caught in the crossfire of a desperate, unhinged person who was hellbent on destroying herself?

The phone beeped and a text message appeared from Ashlyn to Ali.

“Oh, ha ha ha ha ha!! She says she got the Jeep from the autobody place” Emily cackled as she showed the screen to Ali again. “Yeah, I’ll bet she had some repair work to do on that driver’s side. I keyed the fuck out of that!” she cackled again and her whole face lit up as she stood and dropped the phone back onto the desk.

Ali’s whole body went numb as another blow landed. That’s what it felt like being there with Emily. It felt like she was in a boxing match and getting pummeled by a jeering, lunatic opponent. Instead of actual physical punches, Emily was delivering psychological blows that were twice as painful and terrifying. The fact that she had the blue stone meant that Emily had been inside their house. Inside their bedroom! That made the brunette’s stomach lurch and she felt the bile trying to creep its’ way up her throat. But just when she thought the stalker’s intrusion into their lives couldn’t possibly get any worse than that – Emily revealed that she was at Mount Greylock with them too! What in the actual fuck was happening? How could that be? How in the hell did that clearly malfunctioning human being manage to find them on their glamping weekend in the Berkshires? And, oh my God, had she followed them to the cabin too? Could she possibly have? When Ali thought about the blissful, romantic weekend she and Ashlyn had enjoyed, and then factored in the idea of Emily...watching them...

“Oh God” she groaned as she leaned forward and threw up all over the floor in front of her. It was thin and bilious and smelled horrible as it splashed onto her shoes and pant legs.

“What the fuck?” Emily shouted and jumped back away from the foul-smelling mess. “What’s the matter with you?” she showed absolutely no compassion whatsoever as she looked down at Ali with disgust.

Ali spit a couple of times and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she glared up at her captor.

“You...were there...” she accused, pausing to catch her breath from the gagging and vomiting. “At Mount Greylock.”

“I was” Emily replied with a blank look on her face. She hadn’t expected so much anger from the brunette and she was a little thrown by the new turn of events. “I found you at the Clark and followed you...”

“To the cabin...” she spit again and reached for her water bottle.

“You wouldn’t believe how long it took me to find you” Emily admitted conversationally, as if it was the funniest story she had told her friends in ages. “I hiked to two different cabins first before I finally got to yours” she chuckled and shook her head. “My legs were sore for three days” she grinned.

“You think this is funny?” Ali’s voice was low and strong after a few sips of water. She sat up and stared mercilessly at her stalker. “You think following me around and spying on me is funny? What the fuck is wrong with you? How the hell did you turn out this way?”

Emily leaned back as if she had just been slapped across the face. Her expression went from grin to scowl in the span of three seconds and she leaned forward with the gun firmly in her right hand.

“Don’t talk to me like that. It’s your fault I’m like this. This is ALL YOUR FAULT YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!” she screamed at Ali and then started pacing again. “Fuck, that stinks” she turned her nose up at the puke on the floor. “Goddammit! This wasn’t supposed to happen like this!! Why is it so fucking hot in here?! I came here to tell you I love you. What the fuck do I do now?? I’ve always loved you!” she was shouting and rambling and putting random, disjointed phrases together as she ranted and paced like a caged animal. 

“Love? You don’t know what real love is” Ali glared. “You think what you’ve done to me is love?” she laughed dismissively. “This is the opposite of love Emily. No, fuck that. I'm not even using your name because the Emily I know, the Emily I loved, would never do this. She would never do any of this. Breaking into my house? Stalking me all over the place? There are probably pictures of me that I wouldn’t want anybody else to see, aren’t there?” she quirked her eyebrow at Emily. “Whoever the hell you are, you aren’t Emily Quindlen. Now tell me what you want and get the fuck out of here before I really lose my patience.”

“No, no, no...” Emily stopped pacing and rubbed her head again as she tried to think of what to do. “I would never do that Al...never. I would never show anybody any of the pictures I took. Those are just for me, just so I could see you when I wasn’t with you. They’re not for anybody else. I can’t believe you think I would do that” her bottom lip quivered and she looked like she might cry.

“Oh, so you’ll follow me around and creep around outside my cabin but you’ll respect my privacy enough to keep the pictures to yourself. Well that’s just fucking great” she spat out the words. “Don’t do me any fucking favors you crazy fucking bitch!”

That was a mistake and Ali knew it as soon as she finished shouting the last word. She watched in horror as Emily’s whole face changed. Her whole body changed right before her eyes and the mildly threatening woman who had been in her presence up until that point was replaced by a raving, dangerous madwoman.

“Don’t. Fucking. Call. Me. Crazy!!!!!!!” she shouted and pointed the gun at Ali with a shaking hand. “YOU made me this way!! I fell in love with you and it destroyed me. You killed me Ali. I’ve been dead all these years and you did what? Just went on with your perfect fucking life. Well FUCK YOU!!!” she took a lunging step closer to the brunette, leading with the gun at the end of her extended arm.

“Alright, alright” Ali put both hands up defensively and lowered her voice. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry Em...”

“Don’t call me that either. You don’t mean it. I know you’re just saying it to try and control me. That’s all anybody ever wants to do is control me. Janice. Edward. The shrink. The doctor. Now you...just...don’t.”

She went back to pacing, faster than she had been to that point, and travelling farther away from the couch area each time. 

“Move to the other end of the couch” she commanded suddenly. “That puke fucking reeks. Move over” she gestured with the gun. “What a fucking mess.”

Ali wasn’t sure what to do. She had failed at her attempt to befriend and talk Emily out of whatever she had planned. If she had only been able to keep her temper in check. Now what?

“And I wouldn’t have keyed her stupid Jeep either...that was your fault too. You did that on purpose. I know you did” she accused, talking fast and pacing aggressively.

“What did I do?” the brunette’s voice was timid and submissive as she tried to defuse the situation she had just blown up by losing her temper.

“At the cabin. At that stupid fucking cabin” Emily laughed maniacally. “In the bedroom.”

Ali felt her stomach flip flop and was sure she would have thrown up again if there had been anything at all left in her stomach. She didn’t say a word. She wasn’t going to help with this part. She didn’t trust herself to hold it together anymore.

“You...you...” Emily stopped right in front of Ali in her new seat at the other end of the couch. Her bottom lip quivered and tears started to leak out of the corners of her red eyes. Her whole puffy, deranged face fell as she looked at the woman she loved more than anything. More than life itself. “You read poems” she gasped out and had to use both hands to steady the gun they were shaking so hard.

“What?” Ali was truly dumbfounded.

“Don’t play dumb” Emily swiped at her tears with her forearm and sniffled. “You’re smarter than that and we both know it.”

Ali tried to think back to that night in the cabin and that was the first problem. Which night was Emily even talking about? How many nights did she spy on them. She shivered at the thought and tried again to focus. All she could think of was the sex. Their sex. She and Ashlyn sharing the most intimate parts of themselves with each other. The idea that Emily had watched any or all of it made her skin crawl and the bile rise up in her throat again. She forced herself to think about what Emily had just said...’you read poems’.

“You...you saw me read a poem to Ashlyn? Is that what this is about?”

Emily just stood there and cried, gun still pointed shakily at the brunette. She cried for a couple of minutes while Ali sat there and watched her, wondering what she could do to bring this stand-off to a peaceful end. She couldn’t see her phone and had no idea what time it was, but she was sure it must be almost 5pm. Ashlyn would be there very soon. There wasn’t any time left to waste. A terrifying image of her love walking into the office and being shot by Emily spurred her on.

“That wasn’t anything” she spoke slowly and carefully and tried to keep the hatred out of her eyes. “That was just a silly little thing. I think I had it in my phone for God’s sake. It wasn’t a real poem. It wasn’t real words on a page or anything like that. It wasn’t anything like what we used to do.”

“Yes it was. I...I saw it. She read one to you first and then...”

“And then I read some stupid little lines from my phone. Emily, trust me...you’re the only one I read poetry to in bed” she paused, hoping to see some improvement in the level of crazy from her stalker. But Emily hadn’t changed position. An idea sparked in Ali’s anxious, desperate mind and she went with it. “Do you remember at the fundraiser, the Newlywed Game? You were there. I know you were. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was you who asked that last question about reading poetry in bed.”

Emily’s face brightened just a bit and she shook her head as if to clear her mind.

“The reason I didn’t say anything, the reason I looked so uncomfortable when it came time to answer your question is because that’s so special to me. I don’t do that with anybody but you, Emily. That’s our thing.”

“Really?” she blinked at the brunette and tried to decide if she was being told the truth or not. “Nah, you’re just saying that because I’m standing here pointing a gun at you.”

“No, I’m not. I swear” Ali somehow managed to give the madwoman a small smile. “I got your letter today, the one with our poem in it” she nodded towards the desk. “It’s right on top of my desk. I was just reading it before you got here. I was thinking about you and remembering all the good times we had together Em.”

“I don’t believe you” Emily fixed her with a doubtful gaze, but looked over her shoulder towards the desk anyway.

“I swear. Go ahead and look. I’ll stay right here. I promise.”

Emily shifted her weight and backed up a few feet, moving to her right to get closer to the desk while still keeping her eyes on her captive. Ali gave her another hesitant smile, feeling her skin crawl again but fighting the urge to cringe. If this was what it took to keep Ashlyn safe...she would do anything to keep Ashlyn safe. Emily reached behind her and grabbed the letter she had written two days earlier, her wild eyes straining to read the small block letters on the pages.

“I didn’t recognize your writing though” the brunette continued, keeping her voice warm and soft. “Why did you change it?”

“You noticed that huh?” Emily gave Ali a bashful look as she put the pages back on the desk. “It was part of leaving the past behind. That’s what they taught me at McLean. I’m not supposed to think about the past if I want to have a different future. I was reborn. Sin-free...”

Ali fought another urge to question the mentally ill woman. That didn’t sound like any mental health procedure she’d ever read or heard about – and she had done some research back when she first learned about Ashlyn’s struggles, as well as recently for Drew and his challenges. But she shook it off and tried to keep the ruse up this time. She could feel some of the mania starting to settle inside Emily. The anxiety level had lowered just enough to let Ali know her plan was working. Just then, Ali’s phone rang again. Emily’s face flashed with anger as they both looked towards Ali’s desk where the phone rested.

“Will you just turn the damned thing off for me?” Ali asked quickly, hoping to keep them on the same path of progress. “I don’t want anyone to interrupt our time together now. Not now that we’re finally getting somewhere.”

“What is her problem anyway?” Emily asked as she turned the ringer off on Ali’s cellphone and put it back onto the desk. “What a needy bitch” she shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“Don’t” Ali shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about her. I want to go back to senior year with you” she smiled again and blinked at Emily, hoping to lure her back into the fantasy and make her feel comfortable and safe. “I was remembering the library.”

There was a momentary pause where the brunette wasn’t sure which way it was going to go. Emily’s face, for once, was impossible to read. Ali held her breath and prayed...

“We never got as much studying done as we were supposed to” Emily grinned.

“I was always distracted by the cute girl from my Comp Lit class” Ali flirted. It felt disgusting and a waft of her vomit hit her nose and the combination made her dizzy for a few seconds before she recovered. “She used to pass me these romantic notes...” she giggled like she had when they were back at BU together.

“Did she now?” Emily beamed at the turn their conversation had taken. “Funny, the same thing happened to me.”

Ali looked into the worn out blue eyes that used to mean so much to her, thought about how ugly they were compared to the hazel ones her whole world revolved around now, and found the strength to keep going with the farce.

“It was many and many a year ago,” she began, standing up slowly and smiling at her stalker to show her she meant her no harm.

Emily blinked back at her for a few seconds and Ali nodded her head at her encouragingly. Her grin got wider and the gun lowered just a little bit as she recited the next line back to the brunette.

“In a kingdom by the sea,” Emily’s voice cracked with emotion.

“That a maiden there lived whom you may know,” Ali kept going, a little surprised at how easily the long-ago memorized lines came back to her.

“By the name of Annabel Lee;”

“And this maiden she lived with no other thought” Ali took a small step forward when she saw Emily’s arm lower just a bit more as she got wrapped up in the walk down memory lane.

“Than to love and be loved by me.” Emily finished the first stanza of their poem and let the gun rest against her thigh as her body visibly relaxed.

Ali continued, reciting the first line of the second stanza and they simulated the note-writing from the library scene but with words instead. They got all the way to the end of the fourth stanza and Ali had moved to within two feet of Emily who was leaning against the front of the desk. Ali wasn’t sure how much closer she dared get. She hadn’t really formulated a whole plan – her only idea was to get Emily to calm down and get into a position where she wasn’t trapped in the couch nook of her office. Now that she had accomplished both of those things she needed to come up with the rest of the plan, and fast. 

“But our love it was stronger by far than the love” the brunette kept going with the next line as she tried to think what she was going to do when the last two stanzas were complete.

“Of those who were older than we –“ Emily’s smile was big and sincere as she fell deeper and deeper into the mirage.

“Of many far wiser than we –“ Ali smiled back.

The door knob turned and then Ashlyn’s voice broke through the spell from the other side of the locked door.

“Hey, honey, why’s the door locked?”

Ali felt all the air leave her lungs at the same time all the blood in her body rushed to her head as sheer panic set in. She looked at Emily and saw the blissful look on her face shatter into a million pieces of angry, bitter, lonely hate.

“If you’re trying to tease me it won’t work” the keeper chuckled. “I’ve got my own key, remember?” the door knob jiggled and the sound of a key sliding into the lock echoed throughout the tense space of the office.

“That fucking, cheating bitch!” Emily screamed as she raised the gun again and pointed it towards the door.

“Ashlyn, no!!” Ali yelled as her terrible, nightmarish vision was starting to become reality right in front of her eyes.

“What’s going on in here?” Ashlyn’s concerned voice from inside the office door was the last thing Ali heard before she leapt into action.

The brunette reacted without thought. It was pure instinct. Nothing more. Nothing less. As soon as she saw Emily pointing the gun at her beloved wife she lunged forward and tackled her stalker, knocking her off balance and pushing her arm just as the gun fired with an ear-splitting bang.


	30. Reclamation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The final chapter. It's reeeeaaaaallllly long so do what you need to do before starting it. lol. I'm sorry it's so long, but I really didn't want to break it up, so I didn't. I hope you like it. I hope it wraps everything up for you for this part of the story.  
> And I'll start working on Part 11 soon (Part 10 is an FAQ installment). Thanks again for reading!

“Alright, you ready?” Ashlyn kissed her wife’s cheek as they stood side by side, thigh deep in the surf at Satellite Beach, her arm draped loosely around the brunette’s hips.

Even in Satellite Beach the Atlantic Ocean was chilly in February, hitting its annual low temperature in the middle of the winter month. 66 degrees felt cold as the waves slowly rolled into their bodies. Part of the problem was that the air was only in the low-60s itself and the two women had been cold before walking into the water, dressed in their bathing suits and nothing else. Ashlyn had been worried about keeping Ali warm enough but, after much consideration over the past few days, she decided the risk was worth it. This was important to both of them, but particularly to the brunette, and Ashlyn wasn’t going to half-ass any part of it.

It was February vacation week, the third week of the month, and they had packed up the kids and flown to Tammye and Carol’s house in nearby Melbourne Beach, FL for some sunny Florida time. Truthfully, both women were glad to get away from Gloucester after the brutal 9 weeks that had passed since the evening of the Knight-Harris Christmas Party and the attack. It was good to be someplace where they weren’t constantly forcing thoughts of Emily Quindlen out of their heads, wondering if she had seen them do whatever it was they were doing at any given moment. Wondering if she had sat where they were sitting or touched what they were holding and using. It was hard on all of the adults who stayed in the big old house during those 9 weeks as they helped take care of the kids while both Ali and Ashlyn recovered. 

But they had been able to come and go from the toxic environment whenever they wanted to. Sydney and Whitney and the rest of the four-family friends came and went frequently. Ken and Vicki Krieger were daily visitors when others in the grandparent brigade weren’t actually staying in the big old house with the young Krieger family. Ali and Ashlyn, because of their injuries, minor though they were, weren’t able to go very far away for the first several weeks. They had considered packing everybody up and going to Florida right after the attack in Ali’s office, but it had been 10 days before Christmas and the kids were all excited about the holiday. They loved having all their grandparents and extended family around and didn’t think anything was odd about it. They just enjoyed the hell out of it. It was incredible – no matter what crazy thing they wanted to do or game they wanted to play, one of the visitors always said yes, within reason of course. Some of Dodge’s wilder ideas were nixed but his siblings knew he was just trying to see how far the boundary could be pushed. Missing the fun times at school and the Holiday recitals for all the kids wasn’t something the two moms wanted to do. It didn’t feel fair to the kids. They hadn’t done anything to deserve having their Christmas turned upside down. So the Kriegers stayed in the big old house and did their best to keep terrifying and enraging thoughts of a mentally ill former fiancée out of their minds.

Sydney and Whitney were never far away either, sacrificing time with their own little ones to make sure their best friends were taken care of themselves. The grandparents were in charge of the kids. The besties were in charge of the two injured parties. Whitney had been the first one there at the hospital Friday night. She and Ryan stood pale-faced in the lobby for two hours before they were allowed in to see Ali and Ashlyn. Sydney and Niki had joined them by then and Ken, Deb, Tammye and Mike Harris were on their way to Boston too.

Ali and Ashlyn were in the same room at Mass General Hospital and it was dark and quiet. The overhead fluorescent lights were off so Ali could rest and keep the screaming pain inside her head at bay. Only the hospital bed headboard light was on at Ashlyn’s bed, the one by the window, late Friday night. Ali had just been wheeled into the room after an MRI scan an hour before and had gone right to sleep, monitors beeping as they told the nurses that the patient was doing ok. It was almost midnight and Deb was sitting in the chair next to Ali’s bed, frowning at her daughter and looking exhausted. Nobody had ever seen Debbie Christopher look older or more worn out than she had looked that night. Tammye didn’t look much better in her chair by Ashlyn’s bed, but she at least had fallen asleep a few minutes earlier. Sydney and Whitney stood on either side of Ashlyn’s bed whispering with the keeper, Ryan and Niki long gone to take care of their own children for the night.

“So everything went as planned?” Ashlyn asked, trying to make herself think of anything besides the harrowing events of her own evening.

“Yes” Whitney nodded. “Marcy and Hilary ran everything, with Jared’s help, after I left. We just told people that you two had a family emergency and left it at that. We’ll tell them more on Monday, once you guys have decided what you want to do.”

“You don’t have to tell them anything, do you?” Sydney asked from her position between the two beds. “I mean, they work for you. It’s not really their business” her words were harsh, even for the usually-direct coach, but everybody’s nerves were still on edge and neither Ashlyn nor Whitney judged her for it.

“Well, there were a handful of people still in the building” Ashlyn explained. “And there’s the bullet hole in the door...” she stopped as a quiet sob escaped her lips. The keeper turned to her left to look at her beloved wife again and felt more desperate emotions swirling to the surface. Her lip trembled and tears fell down her cheeks again. “Fuck...” she whispered and squeezed her eyes shut.

“She’ll be ok Ash, she’s so strong” Whitney gripped her best friend’s right arm from that side of the bed, the one by the window and Tammye. “You heard the doctor, it’s a concussion...”

“A Grade 3 concussion!” Ashlyn whisper-yelled, knowing they didn’t really use the grading system anymore but both former athletes knew exactly what she meant and why she was concerned. Ali had been knocked unconscious for several minutes and the doctor had told them it was a very severe concussion. “And a deep laceration with swelling on the brain” Ashlyn raised her eyebrows and tried to fight back another wave of tears. She was sick to fucking death of crying that night. It felt like that was all she had done since she opened the door to her wife’s office 7 hours ago. “God, I thought I lost her...” she spoke so softly the two women could barely hear her as the image of her wife lying crumpled on her office floor with a pool of blood growing underneath her head flooded her mind again. 

“But you didn’t” Sydney rubbed the blonde’s shoulder as she sat propped up in the hospital bed, with her upper left arm wrapped in clean, white bandages. There were some scratches to her face and neck from the struggle with Emily and the knuckles of both her hands were raw and red from being used as her only weapon. “You didn’t” the coach repeated, this time with more urgency. “You saved her Ashlyn” she leaned over and hugged the keeper, careful not to hurt her injured arm. “You fucking saved her and I’ve never loved you more than I do right this minute” she choked out as her own tears leaked from the corners of her closed eyes.

That first weekend in the hospital had gone by in kind of a blur for everybody. Ashlyn was released on Saturday, after just one night but all of her injuries were minor, including the flesh wound to her upper left arm. The bullet intended to end her life had missed the mark and instead had only grazed her arm. It would take several days, but the keeper’s biggest concern about the injury would be the damage it had done to her sleeve tattoo. The bullet had torn through the skirt of the princess, the handle of the mirror with cracked glass, on the outside of her left upper arm. Nobody got much sleep Friday night and when Officer Clemenzi showed up Saturday afternoon to take their official statements, neither woman was in a very good mood. The room was still dark and quiet with the blinds on the big window, looking out towards the Charles River and the Knight-Harris office building, closed. Ali had begged Ashlyn to come and get into bed with her but the keeper had been too afraid of hurting her fragile brain and had declined the invitation. It had been one of the hardest things she had done all day. Instead, she had pulled one of the two chairs over between their beds and gotten as close as she could to her beautiful brunette. She reached over with her right arm and let Ali hold it in both her hands.

“Ok, the doctor says we won’t be able to talk too long, so let’s get started” Officer Clemenzi gave a half-smile to the two women and then nodded at the other four visitors who hadn’t left the room all night or yet that day. 

Ali and Ashlyn had told him they wanted them to stay and he had agreed. Anything to keep the two victims as comfortable as possible in that trying time. He knew he needed good, clear statements from both of them to make his case against Emily Quindlen airtight. There was enough evidence, especially once the fingerprints came back as a match hopefully early next week, to implicate her in everything but having solid statements would make the whole process so much cleaner and easier. The doctor had warned all of them that Ali might not be able to give a statement yet because of her concussion. She might not remember anything at all about the events leading up to her head injury. Concussions were all a little different, but a very common symptom was temporary memory loss. It almost always cleared up in a few days, depending on the severity of the concussion, and most people who suffered concussions did eventually remember all the details.

“Remember baby, don’t try too hard” Ashlyn gave her wife a serious look and patted her stomach. “It’s ok if you don’t remember right now. You will soon enough. When your brain is ready. Ok?”

Ali nodded her head and blinked her eyes in understanding. In all honesty, she felt like shit and every sound and noise hurt her already-pounding head. She was confused and dizzy and sleepy, even though she had slept more than anybody else the night before. Any kind of light that hit her eyes felt like a searing laser beam of pain and she felt nauseous more often than not that first day. She hadn’t been able to tell the nurse what day it was or what hospital she was in or where she had been the day before when she had woken up that morning. The only thing she knew was her name and who the people with her in the room were that day. Everybody in the room had either had a concussion or had nursed someone they loved through a concussion so they all knew the drill. Getting stubborn, strong-willed Ali Krieger to do what she was supposed to do to take care of her injured brain was something none of them were looking forward to. But, to everyone’s surprise, she was shockingly pliant and agreeable to all the suggestions of quiet and rest and stillness. That’s how they knew she was really hurting.

“Ok” she spoke softly and squeezed Ashlyn’s arm with both hands as she clutched it against her body.

“Why don’t we start with me” the keeper proposed and turned her attention to the officer. “I can tell you everything I know and everything I saw. And then we can see if she remembers anything yet.”

Officer Clemenzi nodded as he pushed record on his phone, setting it on the hospital table that had just held Ali’s lunch tray on it, and took notes in his little notebook. Deb sat in the chair on the other side of Ali’s bed, by the bathroom and the entrance to the room. Officer Clemenzi stood next to her. Tammye and Sydney and Whitney sat side by side on Ashlyn’s bed, watching with wary faces.

“Go right ahead Mrs. Krieger.”

Ashlyn began by re-tracing her trip to Knight-Harris and describing the phone conversation she had shared with Ali and then listing off the texts and calls that had gone unanswered in the time between then and when she walked into her wife’s office.

“And that was unusual for her not to reply?”

“Well, yeah” Ashlyn replied. “Sometimes she’s busy at work but she always texts me back, even if it’s just to say she can’t talk. That’s why it was so weird. And we had plans and were trying to coordinate the timing...”

“The Christmas party for the office was last night, right?”

“Yes. I was picking her up and taking her there. That’s why I thought the door was locked. I thought maybe she was changing into her dress” the keeper shrugged. “She wouldn’t normally lock the door, even for that, but I just didn’t have time to figure anything else out. It was locked so I unlocked it.”

“The door to her office was locked when you got there, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“And could you see or hear anything while you were standing outside the door?”

“No, well...not at first, but when I was unlocking the door I heard a...a yell I guess. It didn’t sound like Ali but I didn’t really know what was going on.” She paused as she closed her eyes and thought back, knowing every little detail mattered. “Then I heard Ali shout my name, just as I turned to my left to look into the room.”

“Were you in the room at that time?”

“No, yes, ummm...”

“Take your time and think about it.”

“I heard the yell while I was unlocking the door. I turned the doorknob and pushed the door open right when Ali shouted my name. I stepped into the room and turned to my left” she nodded carefully after each sentence, working her way through the tense memory with her eyes closed.

“And what did you see once you were inside the room?”

“I, umm, I...” she swallowed hard, still with her eyes closed. She found it impossible to look at her wife as she relived the desperate moments that had nearly cost one or both of them their lives. “I saw a stranger, a woman I didn’t recognize...”

“And this stranger was Emily Quindlen, the picture you identified last night? Is that who you saw in your wife’s office?”

“Yes. It was her. Definitely. I’ll never forget her face as long as I live” she shook her head slowly and swallowed again. A squeeze from Ali settled her nerves for a moment and she was able to continue.

“Ok, and what was she doing?”

“She was shouting at me and, I didn’t see it at the time, but she was pointing a gun at me...”

“What do you mean you didn’t see the gun at the time?”

“I didn’t fucking see the gun at the time” she opened her eyes in frustration, not wanting to go back to the next moment in time and taking it out on the cop in front of her instead. “How many other ways are there to say it?” she snapped.

“Easy Ash” Whitney soothed from behind the keeper. “Just take a breath. You can do this.”

The keeper did as her best friend instructed, closing her eyes. She took two deep breaths and blew them out while Ali held tightly to her arm.

“I’m ok” the brunette’s tiny voice made them all lean closer in her direction to hear it. When Ashlyn opened her eyes and looked at her, she repeated it and gave a small, supportive smile. It wasn’t one of her dazzlers, but it was the best she could do while her head felt like it was exploding. “I’m ok.”

Ashlyn held her wife’s gaze for a few seconds and smiled back at her, trying to ignore the bandages wrapped around her head. She felt strength and courage flowing back from her. Her incredibly strong wife. Her formidable lioness.

“What I saw when I turned to my left was Emily Quindlen shouting and pointing a gun at me” she looked back at the officer and spoke slowly and clearly. “Then, like a second later, Ali tackled her. She threw her whole body at her and the gun went off. I remember being really confused because it was loud as hell but I didn’t know what it was, the sound. But before I could really think about it very much, I saw Emily turn her body – she’s really big and it was hard for Ali to get her to the ground. Emily, like, shrugged her off. And I heard the gun hit the floor. And then...then I saw Ali hit the desk. She hit it hard and the sound...” she closed her eyes and steadied herself as she remembered exactly how awful the sound of her wife’s skull hitting the corner of the desk had been. “Ali fell to the floor like a...like a ragdoll. I knew she was knocked out. I could tell. Except I thought...I thought maybe...” tears started to slowly slip down her cheeks but she didn’t stop. “But she got Emily down. She was sitting on the floor and still yelling. And she was looking around and at first I thought she was worried about Ali, you know?” she paused. “She was supposed to love her so much. Ha. She wasn’t looking at Ali though. She was looking for the gun.”

“And this all took less than a minute” the officer confirmed.

“Yeah, it was so fast. She fired the gun right when Ali tackled her. They both started going to the ground. She pushed Ali off of her and they were both on the ground a couple of seconds later. Just like that.”

“Then what happened?”

“She saw the gun and started to move Ali off of her so she could get to it” the fire was in Ashlyn’s eyes as she recounted the next part of the attack. “I don’t know what made me madder, her touching Ali or the fact that she did it with such...disregard. Fucking bitch” she spat out the words with disgust. “That’s when I realized that I had to get to her before she got to the gun. Ali had already done the hard part. I just had to finish it for her. Tag team” she smiled sadly, but there was a hint of pride in her face and her voice.

“So what did you do next?”

“I jumped on top of her. She had moved about, I don’t know, a foot or so away from Ali, towards the gun, and she was trying to crawl but she wasn’t all the way up on her hands and knees yet.”

Ali’s eyes had been closed the whole time, except for the brief eye contact she had shared with her wife to encourage her. But they were open now. She had been unconscious for this part of the altercation and had no idea what had gone on between lunging at Emily and waking up in the hospital several hours later. Ali watched the love of her life recount the events that had ultimately saved both of their lives. She gripped Ashlyn’s arm even harder as she listened and watched.

“I pushed her over with my knee and my hands, she was hard to move. But I got her on her back and she...she spit at me when I sat on top of her. She was yelling and saying horrible things and I told her to shut up while I pinned her arms to the floor up by her head. But she didn’t stop. She kept telling me how stupid I was and how Ali deserved better and she was kicking at me and trying to buck me off of her the whole time. She kept saying that it was my fault that Ali...” she stopped and closed her eyes, dropping her head down while the tears continued to fall. “That Ali was dead. She said it over and over again, how it was all my fault...”

“Oh Ashlyn” Deb gasped quietly, heart-broken at the pain and suffering her daughter-in-law had gone through and was reliving right at that moment.

“She wouldn’t shut up, so I...I...hit her. I punched her right in the face but she never stopped. She never stopped. So I put my hands around her neck to make her stop” Ashlyn sobbed as she tried to get the rest of the words out before completely falling apart, resting her head on the edge of Ali’s hospital bed. “I choked her...and I didn’t stop...”

Sydney saw her best friend’s eyes go wide at the new, terrifying information and got up to comfort Ashlyn because she knew that Ali couldn’t right in that moment. The brunette was stunned and in pain from her concussion and it was all just too much for her. All Ali could do was hang onto Ashlyn’s arm and she did that, as if she was frozen in that position.

“You did stop Ash” Sydney hugged the keeper from behind. “I don’t know how you did, because Lord knows I couldn’t have stopped. I would have choked the life out of that monster and never blinked an eye.”

Officer Clemenzi cleared his throat but Sydney didn’t care. She squeezed Ashlyn tightly and kissed her head and shared a powerful look with Ali at the same time. Nobody in the room doubted the coach. In fact, all three of the other women felt much the same way. It was bad luck that Ashlyn, the softest of them all, had to be the one that nearly killed Ali’s stalker. They knew it would bother her for the rest of her life – the fact that she had nearly killed a human being with her bare hands. There was nothing any of them could do about it now but tell her she hadn’t done anything they wouldn’t have done in her place.

“What happened next” Officer Clemenzi tried to keep things going before he ran out of time. The nurse had come into the room to check on Ali’s beeping monitor which had revealed her agitated state. He knew she was going to ask him to leave very soon. “You’re almost done Mrs. Krieger. But what happened next?”

“I uhh...all I remember is somebody pulling me back, somebody strong” she sniffled and sat up straighter, eager to be finished. Sydney squeezed her shoulders and stood there behind her, trying to give her as much of her own strength as she could. 

“Doug, the security guard on duty” Whitney offered for the sake of clarification. “Doug responded to the gunshot. He said it was loud enough that he thought everybody in the building probably heard it.”

“And then Sutapa was there. She...she was kneeling next to me and talking to me. She took my hands and let me squeeze them instead” Ashlyn continued, glad to remember the kindness their HR manager had shown her in that traumatic moment. 

“Sutapa Chakraborty?” Office Clemenzi butchered her name as he checked his notes.

“Yes. She’s so nice” the keeper smiled softly.

“Anything else? Did the suspect say anything else?”

“No. She just started coughing and hacking. I told Doug about the gun and he grabbed it and then Sutapa and I tried to see how bad Ali was hurt. Then there were cops and paramedics everywhere” she shook her head again. “And then we came here” she shrugged.

“And when did you realize that you’d been shot?”

“Sutapa told me” Ashlyn looked embarrassed. “I had no idea. Never felt a thing until all the adrenaline wore off. Hurt like hell after that though” she looked down at her bandaged left bicep. 

“That’s how it happens” he explained with a kind look. “Alright. I’ve got everything I need here” he pushed a button on his phone to stop the recording and closed up his notebook.

Ali turned towards him and squinted in confusion.

“I’ll be in touch” he gave the brunette another friendly smile. “When you’re feeling better and can remember what happened just let me know.”

“Thank you Officer” Deb stood up and stepped to her daughter, patting her shoulder gently and then letting her comforting hand rest there. “Thank you.”

“You’ve got her though, right? That horrible woman?” It was Tammye’s voice that made them all turn to look at the mother who hadn’t said a single word yet. “She’s not out there running around shooting people anymore is she?” the hostility and fear were impossible to miss.

“We’ve got her” he nodded reassuringly, seriousness creasing his face. “She’s not going anywhere. She’s under arrest down at HQ. You’re still pressing charges I assume?” he looked from Ashlyn to Ali and back to the blonde again.

“Yes we are” the keeper replied after Ali nodded and closed her eyes. “Charge her with whatever you can so she never gets out again.”

Ali was released on Monday afternoon, once the swelling in her brain had stayed down for 24 hours and the doctor felt confident that she was on the long road to recovery. Kyle had come up Saturday and stayed by her bedside the whole time she was in the hospital, wracked with guilt that he hadn’t been there to protect his little sister. Again. He was stricter than any of the nurses could have been when it came to visitors and anything that would cause Ali any discomfort – which was pretty much everything those first few dark days. Ashlyn had gone home to try and figure out some sort of plan with the family to keep things running smoothly while Ali recovered. They all knew it was going to be tough to keep the brunette still and quiet. It was the week before Christmas and her favorite time of year. She thrived on the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and they all cursed the timing of things on top of the actual attack and injury. But when Ashlyn got home Saturday evening there was already a plan in place. Vicki, Carol, and Mike Christopher had started it and then Ken and Mike Harris had added to it when they came home from the hospital late Friday night after seeing that their girls were alive and reasonably well.

“I’m telling you baby, just let them do it” Ashlyn counseled as she helped her wife back to bed Monday night after a quick trip to the bathroom. 

They had just arrived back at the big old house that afternoon after Ali’s release and she had been ensconced in their bedroom ever since. The kids had come in for controlled visits and it was the first time Ashlyn had seen her wife smile broadly in 3 long days. Drew was the only one old enough to remember Mama hurting her head before and having to be quiet and careful around her at all times. They were sort of used to it with Ali because of her infrequent bouts of torturous period cramps. It wasn’t a totally foreign concept to them because it happened a couple of times a year and Ali would go up to bed for a few hours and things would be normal again after that. This time, however, it was going to be a long time and nobody liked that idea at all. For her part, Ali had resigned herself to being helpless and useless pretty easily. She knew she would get dizzy trying to walk to the bathroom so she let Ashlyn help her. It had been the first in a long line of many such instances where she let whomever was around her lend a hand. Everybody was surprised, but grateful. 

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” Ali replied, voice still quiet and head still pounding. “I can’t stand up without getting dizzy, I can barely get my water bottle to my own mouth because I’m so uncoordinated, everything’s hazy and I’m still seeing double most of the time, I have no balance and can’t walk straight...”

“Well, to be fair, you’ve never really walked all that straight sweetheart” Ashlyn giggled and kissed her wife’s forehead as she tucked her back into bed. She couldn’t resist it. She was so relieved and happy to have Ali home with her that everything else paled in comparison.

“Very funny” Ali rolled her eyes and then winced in pain. “Ow, fuck. Ok, so I can’t roll my eyes either. That’s just mean.”

“Listen, you’re doing great so far” the keeper praised her as she got herself back into bed and let Ali cuddle into her side. “We’ve got lots of help and we’re gonna take it. I don’t care about any of that crap. As long as the kids are clean and fed I don’t care who does what with them this week. All you need to do is rest and let that beautiful brain of yours start healing. Got it?”

Ali nodded softly and gave her wife a squeeze.

“I love you Ashlyn.”

Slowly but surely the brunette made improvements over the next week. There were also setbacks and terrible days full of anger, resentment and outright bitchiness that seemed to come from nowhere. It was all part of the concussion but it still felt strange and wrong for Ali to be in such a bad mood all the time. It threw everybody off, especially the kids. They just didn’t understand. Thankfully, they were distracted enough by the fast-approaching Christmas Eve and Christmas Day fun that they weren’t aware of just how much pain their Mommy was actually in. They were fascinated by the stitches in the back left side of her head and they joked about the shaved patch in the middle of her beautiful dark brown hair. The impact with the desk had opened up quite a gash in her scalp that had caused all the blood that had given Ashlyn such a scare as she had fought their attacker. 

Christmas Eve was on Monday, one week after Ali had returned home from the hospital. Chris and Beth and the kids came up the weekend before, arriving on Saturday December 22nd. Carol and Tammye had made the arrangements and put the young Harris family in the rental house in Rockport that they had already reserved months earlier for their own use during the holidays. Kyle and Nathan brought Edgar and Cristina up as well, staying with the Kimballs in Ipswich. And sweet Meg flew up too, finally able to join her family and hug and kiss the two women who meant so much to her and had been in such dangerous straits for so many months. She slept on the pullout couch in her own room with Tammye and Carol and never complained once about it – she was just happy to see Ashlyn and Ali still in one piece.

To say it was a hectic holiday would be an understatement. The visiting kids were all confused about why they weren’t staying at the big old house or spending very much time there even. They all knew that Ali and Ashlyn were both recovering from injuries but it just didn’t compute for the kids. They had no idea how freaking loud and boisterous they were, even when they were trying their best to be quiet. Mike Harris was still staying in Ashlyn’s studio and he spent a lot of time with the kids. He was uncomfortable trying to help Ali or Ashlyn with their recoveries but he knew that if he could help with the kids it would help everybody. 

“Pop, you’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep going so hard with the kids all day every day” Ashlyn advised as she plopped down next to him on the big ‘L’ bend couch in the front living room. She and Deb and Carol had just put the kids to bed the day after Christmas and everybody was exhausted. “How’s your hip?”

“It’s fine, just don’t you worry about it now Bash” Mike patted her leg as they watched college football on the big tv. They were both quiet for a few minutes, enjoying the stillness and thinking about going up to bed. “How’s your arm? Healing up good?”

“Yeah, it’s good. I’m gonna have a scar” she rolled her eyes, “but hopefully it won’t be too bad. And I’ll have Naomi touch up my ink once it’s good and healed up.”

There was another comfortable silence as they watched the halftime report and then chatted for a few minutes about some surprising scores in some of the bowl games. 

“You got really lucky, you know” Mike’s voice was solemn but full of love and concern and relief. “I’m so glad...” he stopped talking before he blubbered like a baby, squeezing his daughter’s leg instead to try and convey all of the emotions he was feeling.

“I know Pop, I know” she reached over and gave him a side hug, kissing his cheek and giving him a little punch in the arm when she was done. “But it wasn’t luck” her voice was serious now too. “Everybody talks about how I saved Ali but that’s bullshit and you know it. She’s the hero. She’s the one who did the saving. I’d be dead right now if she hadn’t pushed that bitch’s arm and tackled her. She’s up there right now in agony, wishing someone would just make the pain stop inside her brain for 5 fucking minutes, because she put it all on the line for me. She’s always there when I need her, even before I realize I’m in trouble. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank her this time...”

“You’re both strong girls, always have been” Mike pulled his daughter into his chest, careful not to grab her sore arm too roughly. “You would have done the exact same thing for her if it had been you. And she would have done the same thing you did too. You two are really something else” he kissed the side of her head. “I knew you’d always take care of her and the kids because that’s just how you are. You’ve always taken care of the things that mattered to you. I knew you’d be a good wife and mother” he grinned as images of Ashlyn with her babies filled his mind. “And I knew Ali was strong too. She’s been sticking up for our family since the very first day I ever met her and I’ve never forgotten that. But there’s something about the two of you together...I don’t know how to describe it really. You just...you make each other even better. I’ve never seen anything like it but I sure am happy about it honey.” He paused for a minute, feeling a bit embarrassed at the outpouring of words and emotions. “You just remember that you’re always there for her and your family too. It took the both of you to get out of that mess that night. Both of you. Don’t you forget it.”

The real heroes of those 9 weeks were the grandparents. Everybody agreed. During the 5 days when everybody was there for Christmas, those grandparents took the Krieger kids for sleepovers so Ali and Ashlyn could get some rest. It was no secret that the keeper was overdoing it to try and make sure her wife didn’t feel the need to get up and do anything. Her arm hurt and ached and itched as it healed but the rest of her was fine. The scratches to her neck and face had disappeared and she was only having occasional nightmares about choking Emily to death. She had kept her promise to Ali and worked hard to stay in control of her PTSD. She met with Dr. Mattie Olsen three different times between December 14th and December 26th, unwilling to start the downward spiral that she knew so well. Curling up with Ali for a nap each afternoon while everybody was home for Christmas was the kind of healing that they both needed more than they could ever truly understand. Chris and Beth had all five kids, including Meg, up to the rental house in neighboring Rockport for a night. Kyle and Nathan had them all up to the Kimball’s for a night too, overwhelming poor Iris and Bill with so much boisterous kid noise and ruckus that they weren’t sure the Kimballs would recover in time to host Christmas Day as planned. And Deb and Mike Christopher had all 7 of their grandchildren stay with them at their condo in Manchester for a night as well. They all slept in a big pigpile of sleeping bags and blankets and pillows in the middle of the living room floor. Everybody except Deb and Mike that is. They weren’t dumb. As soon as the kids were asleep they moved to their own bed and got a good night’s sleep. And Ken and Vicki had let Koty and Tanner host an uncles night at their house the last night the Harrises were in town. All 9 kids, including Meg, enjoyed horsing around with Koty, Tanner, Kyle, Nathan, and Chris for an afternoon and night.

And then, on December 26th, Chris and Beth took their kids home and Meg flew back to DC for a basketball tournament. Kyle and Nathan and both Mikes stayed through New Year’s Eve and then left on New Year’s Day. The kids all went back to school on January 2nd and life in the big old house got back to almost normal. Tammye, Carol, Deb, Ken and Vicki did the heavy lifting for the month of January and it wasn’t easy for any of them. It was hard to know when they were overstepping. But all the two moms did was thank them all, repeatedly. They thanked them and kept accepting the assistance they offered. Once Ali was feeling a bit better, the week after Christmas, her memory of that night in her office came back to her. And with the memory came the new horrible realizations with it.

“Oh my God” Ali sat up in bed much too fast and her head reeled from the sudden movement. She felt nauseous and worried that she wasn’t going to get to the bathroom before throwing up. “Ashlyn” she croaked out as she crawled towards the foot of the bed.

“What?” the keeper sat up, bleary-eyed and confused. “What’s the matter?” she rubbed her eyes and tried to focus. 

“Trash can” Ali gasped out as she continued to crawl towards the foot of the bed on Ashlyn’s side, the closest point to the bathroom.

Ashlyn ran to the bathroom and dashed back a few seconds later, thrusting the trash can under her wife’s head just as she vomited. Ali was lying on her stomach with her head hanging off the foot of the bed, puking her guts out. The keeper put the trash can down and moved to hold the brunette’s hair out of the way, murmuring reassuring things to her at the same time.

“You’re ok baby. I’m right here. It’s alright. Try and relax. Breathe...”

After several minutes, when it seemed like Ali was done throwing up, Ashlyn went and got a cool washcloth to put on the back of her neck and a warm one to wipe her face and the ends of her hair free from the vomit that had ended up there.

“Here, have some water” she handed Ali the water bottle from her own nightstand. “Are you ok honey?”

“She...she...” Ali tried to get the terrible words out that had upset her so much she had a physical reaction to them. She rolled onto her side, unable to get enough air lying on her stomach. “She was in the house.”

“What?!” the keeper froze as she tried to process what her wife had just said. “Who?”

“Emily” Ali turned onto her back with a grunt. “I need a pillow” she pointed at the head of the bed and dropped her arm down as if it weighed 50 pounds.

Ashlyn got two pillows and carefully put them under her wife’s pounding head. She handed her some ibuprofen, knowing how much pain the vomiting must have caused her. After Ali had taken the pills and closed her eyes for a few minutes, both of them waiting silently in the dark room for the pain to subside, the brunette reached for her wife’s hand and clutched it to her chest.

“She had the blue stone. She took it. She was inside the house...” Ali kept her voice barely above a whisper and her eyes closed as she relayed her memory of that crazy time with Emily in her office.

Ashlyn listened to the whole story, her mouth dropping open in shock and dismay and horror as Ali finally stopped talking. It was no wonder the brunette had puked at the realization. Ashlyn felt the same urge herself. It was disgusting enough that Emily had spied on them up in the Berkshires, but somehow, knowing she had been inside their home was even worse. They were quiet for a long time, both deep in thought. The only way the keeper knew Ali hadn’t fallen back asleep was because she continued to hold and caress Ashlyn’s hand up on her chest. The keeper sat next to her wife on the edge of the bed and tried to think of something encouraging to say. There had to be something positive to cling to in the dark, slimy moment they found themselves stuck in that night.

“Well, we’re not moving” she began evenly, not trying to be funny but also not wanting to blow it up into something bigger than maybe it had to be either. “I’ll do anything else you want, but we’re not moving.”

Ali just patted her arm and nodded her head ever so slightly to show her agreement. Ashlyn called Officer Clemenzi the next morning to tell him that Ali’s memory had returned, for better or for worse.

The other development came the week after New Year’s Day. Officer Fulkerson showed up at the big old house one day while the kids were in school, knowing that Ali was home recuperating because he had been checking in with the Kriegers about the case whenever something new happened. Officer Clemenzi from the Cambridge Police Department had done the same thing and had even driven all the way up to Gloucester to take Ali’s statement the week before. Emily had been charged and would be prosecuted for multiple offenses, the most serious of which was attempted murder. Officer Clemenzi explained that Emily would most likely plead not guilty and use her diminished mental state as her defense. If the case was strong enough, which it certainly appeared to be, the Assistant District Attorney for Cambridge would recommend a plea bargain that would see Emily locked up in a mental institution for the rest of her life. Hopefully she would get more help for her mental illness there and find a way to live some kind of life. The best part of the plea deal was that Ali and Ashlyn wouldn’t have to testify in court. They were both eager to put the whole thing behind them as soon as humanly possible. 

“Thank you for letting me come by this morning” Officer Fulkerson smiled at Ashlyn and Ali who were alone with the two dogs in the front living room that morning. “Feeling any better?”

“Getting there” Ali gave him a small smile in return. “Thanks.”

“So what’s happening?” Ashlyn had no patience when it came to the case. She wanted to know why the officer was there and wasn’t in any mood to wait.

“Nothing bad. Don’t worry” he diffused the tension right away. “Clemenzi went back to your office with...Mrs. Flanagan...” he looked at his notes and then back at the two women. “He had one of his guys bring this up to me” he opened his hand and held it out palm up to reveal the missing blue stone. He smiled broadly and waited a long minute for either of the two women to take it from him.

“Thank you” Ashlyn finally said as she reached out and took it from him, placing it on the coffee table and clearing her throat.

“I’m sorry, I thought that was something you wanted back?” he questioned the pair, feeling foolish for a minute.

“We do. Thank you” the keeper apologized. “It’s a little bit...tainted now, but we’re very happy to have it back. Thank you.”

“Well maybe you don’t want this then either” he frowned, second-guessing himself as he looked at a manila folder filled with photocopied pages. “It’s a copy of her journal...”

Ali and Ashlyn exchanged a cautious look. They had told Officer Clemenzi that they wanted to read it when he had mentioned it as evidence that had been found in Emily’s bag at the crime scene. But now that it was here...

“I want to read it” Ali finally spoke. “We both do. Thank you.”

The problem was, Ali couldn’t read it. Her concussion symptoms were still keeping her from using any computer screens or reading or even watching too much tv, even from a distance. Giving up her phone had been the hardest part. She could only use it to talk on the phone, nothing else. The couple of times she had tried to use it for texting had caused her so much pain that she hadn’t tried again. One of the nicest things about the concussion recovery so far had been the kids coming in and reading to her. Drew had been the first and most consistent but all four little ones had spent time cuddled up with Mommy reading whatever book they were reading for school to her. It was adorable but the underlying reason for it always crept in and kept those moments from being as sweet as they might otherwise have been for the brunette. Ashlyn tried to read the journal to her wife but just couldn’t do it. It was too fucking creepy and she could barely stomach reading it herself. But it was impossible for her to give it up. The keeper felt compelled to read it and read it as quickly as possible. It was almost as if it was a nasty medicine she had to take just to get it over with. Ali knew whenever her wife had spent time reading some of it because she would be in a foul mood for the next several hours. 

The brunette begged her wife to read it to her but Ashlyn couldn’t bring herself to. The keeper tried to talk Whitney into doing it but she wanted no part of it either after reading it herself.

“No fucking way” the lawyer shook her head. “I felt like I had to take a shower after I read that thing. I’m not doing it.”

It had finally been Sydney who had gutted it out, often wiping tears away as she read the twisted words from the photocopied pages. Sometimes they were tears of sadness because her best friend had been haunted and hunted by the sickness that they all thought she had shed 18 years ago. But most of the time they were tears of unbridled fury. She and Ali spent an entire Saturday in mid-January working their way through the journal. They took some breaks so Ali could nap and Sydney could drink. But they did it. Sydney made a list of everything that sick fuck had touched inside their house or garage and then scrubbed it clean or threw it away. When Deb found out what she was doing she joined her and they had the job done the same weekend. Sydney slept over that Saturday night, unwilling to separate herself from her bestie until that nasty job had been done. She took the gold cross out of Grandma Lilian’s jewelry box and asked Ali if she could throw it out, but the brunette wouldn’t let her. It was clear after reading the journal that the cross was very important to Emily. One could argue that being without it had hastened her decline into madness. Ali was pretty sure she wanted to return it to Emily but wasn’t positive yet. So she would wait. 

“Well I’m getting the fucking thing out of here” Sydney put the necklace in a plastic baggie and dropped it into her purse. “I’ll hold onto it for you. But none of that bitch’s vibes are staying anywhere near this house. And I’m taking this with me too” she put the manila folder with the journal in her purse with a testy shove. 

“Mattie told Ash about a woman who comes in to cleanse houses that have had...bad things happen in them” Ali spoke softly, not offering any resistance to her best friend’s decisions about the necklace or journal.

“Hell yes. Sign her up. How soon can she get here?”

Sydney wasn’t joking either. She made sure Ashlyn got that woman hired and scheduled for the beginning of February. It was the soonest she could fit them in. Who knew house cleansers and blessers were so busy? In the meantime, the keeper had Marisol bring some help with her to do a hardcore, full-on, intense cleaning of the big old house from top to bottom, including the garage. They all felt the ickyness from Emily lingering everywhere after reading the journal and nobody questioned any of the measures they took to remedy the situation. 

“I know it seems dumb” Ali’s quiet voice reached her mother’s ears as they sat in the nook together one morning after Ashlyn had taken the kids to school in mid-January. 

The morning sun was still bathing the table, chairs and banquette seat in warmth and the two women relaxed into it after the hustle and bustle of the morning chaos. Ali’s concussion symptoms were still dictating much of her life and she was getting frustrated and aggravated and sometimes depressed about it. All she could do was continue to take it easy and let her brain repair itself. She had balked at some of the familial assistance at first, but soon realized she simply couldn’t do much of what she usually did for her children or her wife or her dogs or her house. Forget about work. Ashlyn and Whitney had put a hard stop on that on day one. Marcy Hopkins wasn’t hard to convince either. The one time Ali tried an end-around to get Marcy to give her updates on things, the capable young woman had shut her down without blinking an eye. Knight-Harris business was being conducted without Ali Krieger for the foreseeable future and everybody made the necessary adjustments to keep things going smoothly in her absence. If it was something they absolutely had to have her input on, Whitney drove to Gloucester to see her or relayed the information to Ashlyn to share with her. But Whitney didn’t like to do that to her best friend. Ashlyn’s hands were full enough being the mom who was without a fully functioning other mom to help share the load. Deb, Tammye, Carol, Ken, and Vicki were all very helpful, but sometimes the kids just wanted their mom.

“It doesn’t seem dumb to me” Deb shook her head and made a face. “Not at all. Whatever you need to do to get that...feeling out of this house and your life, you do it baby girl. Do it. Then do it again.”

“I’m sorry Mom” Ali reached over and took her mother’s hand, surprising Deb with the emotion in her voice.

One of the concussion symptoms was not being able to get a handle on all of your emotions. Oftentimes it came out as irritability and Ali’s temper flared for no apparent reason. It was usually short-lived, but still strong and damaging to those around her. She had learned to at least not take it out on the kids if she could help it. She saved it for her wife and the other adults brave enough to endure it. But sometimes she got emotional the other way, with no warning or real reason for it. She had cried like a baby when Ashlyn took a page out of Ali’s playbook and gave her their own private version of The Nutcracker because the brunette couldn’t go to the theater with Deb and the kids the week before Christmas to see it herself. Instead of decorating the front parlor like Ali had done all those years ago when Ashlyn was recovering from injury, the keeper, with help from her father since she was invading his space, had strung lights up in the studio and turned the room into a quiet, calming space where they laid together on the pullout bed and listened to the whole thing. Ashlyn thought she had done something wrong when her wife became so emotional and upset and it had taken quite a few minutes for Ali to be able to explain what was going on. 

“Alex, honey” Deb cooed, recognizing by mid-January the erratic mood swing. “Don’t be sorry” she closed both her hands around her daughter’s and gave her a smile so full of love it could have warmed up one of the icicles hanging outside the window. “You have nothing to be sorry about. So please don’t feel that way...”

“But you’ve all been so good and so...here...” she whimpered, trying to control herself.

“Sometimes too much here, huh?” Deb chuckled softly.

“No, no” Ali shook her head, careful not to shake it too much and cause herself pain – she had learned the hard way. “I mean, yeah, it’s a lot” she smiled through the contorted face she was making as she fought hard not to cry. “But I just...I can’t even imagine what we would do without you, all of you, but mostly you.”

“Sweetheart, I’ve told you before and you might not understand until you’re in my position with your own kids and their families, but there’s no place I’d rather be. There’s nobody I’d rather be with than you and your family” she paused and met Ali’s watery eyes, giving her hand another squeeze and then a pat. “Don’t tell your brother.”

“I won’t” she replied after they had both laughed softly. “I promise. I won’t tell Mike either” the brunette winked at her mother who laughed again, louder than she meant to.

“Oh, sorry, that was too loud, wasn’t it?”

“No, it was ok. My head’s feeling better every day, just not great yet” Ali sighed heavily. “I’m starting to wonder if it’ll ever feel right again” she confessed her deep, dark secret that she had only told Ashlyn the night before.

“It will. It’s a good brain” Deb winked, sensing the heaviness from her daughter and trying to fend it off. “Did Ash tell you her story? About the same thing and how she got really depressed and that only made things worse?”

“Yeah, we talked last night” the brunette frowned after a couple of seconds. “Wait, when did you talk to her about it?”

“Oh I don’t know, a couple of weeks ago” Deb answered honestly. “We were talking about you and...”

“About me? Oh that’s just great mom. Is everybody around here just talking about what a fucking mess I am now and how hopeless I am?” her anger spiked and her words were full of bitterness as she pulled her hand back. “Just fucking great. That’s just what I need...”

“Alex...no...”

“And I suppose you’re all telling the kids what a nutjob I am and to just steer clear of me too, right?” Ali stood up quickly, too quickly, and had to put her hands on top of the table to steady herself as her head spun wickedly and a searing pain shot through her brain. That only infuriated her more, her weakness and injury foiling her dramatic exit. “Fuck!” she yelled loudly, causing herself even more pain.

“Alexandra, that’s enough” Deb’s stern voice felt as tangible to Ali as the hand she put on her daughter’s arm to help steady her. “You’re only hurting yourself now. Just stop it.”

Ali stood there, eyes closed, head spinning, heart racing, as hot tears fell down her flushed cheeks. She felt like a failure. Like a freak. Like something that was broken and unworthy and unwanted. She was sick to death of her own damned self and she couldn’t imagine how anybody else was putting up with her. She was frustrated and frightened and confused and exhausted. She just wanted everything to go away – all her thoughts, all the noise, all the lights, all the smells, everything.

“I’m sorry mom” she whispered through her tears, taking the conversation full circle back to the beginning.

“Honey, come here” Deb moved around the end of the table so she was standing next to her daughter and then guided her the few feet to the couch in the family room. “Why don’t you lie down for a little while, hmmm?”

“Will you sit with me?” 

Deb almost burst into tears when she heard the voice of her 6-year old daughter instead of the 45-year old woman currently at her side.

“Of course I will baby girl. Here, come here” she sat on the couch and helped Ali lie down so her head was in her mother’s lap. Deb gave her one arm to hold across her chest and used her other hand to gently and carefully play with her hair and rub her head. She tried not to flinch when her fingertips found the scar and the patch of oddly growing hair on her scalp. The stitches had come out after 10 days but the scar was still fresh only a month after the attack. “You just relax now and let that beautiful brain get better. We’re all here for you honey, and we’re not going anywhere until you’re feeling better. I promise. Don’t you worry. Just rest now.”

Ali’s funk lasted all through January and got worse as the days went by. Her brain was healing and getting better but her mind was not. She let Ashlyn or Sydney take her to appointments with Dr. Mattie Olsen and those helped tremendously. The brunette always felt better and more sane and stronger after talking with the therapist she trusted so much. But then she would get back to the big old house and the gloom and despair and heaviness would start to creep back in. Ashlyn talked with Sydney, Whitney, Deb, and Ken about what to do to help her beautiful brunette but nobody was really sure what would help. She talked with Mattie too, during her own sessions and the therapist reminded her that only Ali could make this better. The challenge was to help her want to. 

A week later, the last week of January, Ashlyn took matters into her own hands. She recognized the signs of her wife’s depression and was done waiting for Ali to snap herself out of it. She had tried everything, spending the entire month of January carefully cultivating an environment at home where Ali could heal and get herself well. Her concussion symptoms were much better by the end of January. Ali still got headaches if she looked at a screen for more than 30 minutes at a time but she was making significant improvements. The brunette was still upset though because she wanted to be 100% better and considered anything less a failure. Typical, over-achieving Ali. 

Ashlyn and Sydney and Deb had done everything they could to wipe the memory of Emily away from the big old house and their lives. The house had been physically scrubbed clean. They had bought all new sheets and towels for the whole house, even letting the kids pick out their own without any adult interference. That naturally led to redecorating the kids’ rooms which was definitely not something anybody felt like taking on during that challenging time. Not at first anyway. But the wheels were in motion and Ashlyn hoped her wife would get excited about participating in that. The next logical step, Sydney pointed out, was to redecorate the master bedroom too. That would give the house a fresh start which, the coach believed, would help Ali get a fresh start again. Everybody was excited about it and spent hours looking at pictures on the iPad and laptop for ideas of how they wanted to paint and decorate their own room. Meg was the only one who chose to stand pat, saying she loved her room just the way it was.

The plan was to get the house physically cleaned first. Check. It had been troublesome with all the chemical smells making Ali’s head hurt but Deb took her to her condo in Manchester for a couple of days and fixed that problem just like that. Ashlyn hired George the builder’s painting crew to come in and repaint the entire house while the family was in Florida for February vacation. Ali wasn’t interested in picking any new colors for the common rooms so the downstairs just got fresh paint. But the kids’ bedrooms got the colors they had chosen and Ashlyn and Sydney had done their best to pick out colors for the master bedroom too. They were both surprised that Ali wasn’t participating but they held out hope that she might come around before the actual painting took place in mid-February. And, of course, the cleansing and blessing of the house was already scheduled for the first week of February. Everything was in motion, a master plan designed to purify the house that Ali loved so much. Maybe then she could start truly living in it again. But before then, Ashlyn had one more trick up her sleeve. She was desperate to kick-start Ali’s climb up from the depths of depression.

“Come on baby, wake up now” the keeper cooed very early Sunday morning, the last weekend of January. It was still dark out and she knew she was risking her own life to wake up her wife like that. Ali didn’t like to be woken up on her best days, forget about recently during her malaise. “I’ve got a surprise for you honey, please wake up” she placed soft kisses all over the brunette’s face, slowly moving from forehead to chin to cheek to eyelid to jaw to nose and back again.

“What the hell?” Ali rasped out, annoyance filling the space between them. She pushed Ashlyn’s head away and rolled over to face the rest of the empty bed.

“Sugarplum, I love you more than life itself, but you’re getting up and coming with me. Now you can either help me or we can do it the hard way” the keeper stood up from bending over the bed, put her hands on her hips and set her jaw. “Al?”

She didn’t have time to try and coax the brunette to do the right thing. She had already let her sleep an extra 10 minutes and was regretting it, hard. She trotted down the backstairs and was back a minute later, Kyle Krieger in tow. He was part of the plan but she hadn’t thought she would need him for this part.

“Good morning sunshine” he said as loudly as he thought he could get away with, mindful of her always-painful head. Kyle had come up yesterday for the weekend, ostensibly to help the kids with their room-color selections and take some before photographs so they could do some after ones once the redecorating job was complete at the end of February. 

“Ugh...are you fucking kidding me?” Ali groaned and rolled to the other side of the bed, where Ashlyn had walked and was waiting for her. “Jesus, the both of you. What the fuck is your problem?” she yelled a little bit and winced.

“You are the problem sis, but we’re here to help and your lovely wife has a great idea so let’s get up and get dressed...”

“I’m not going anywhere...I need my sleep” she snapped, reminding them of what they already knew.

“You’re right. You do. And I’ll make sure you have the rest of the day to nap if you want, but you’re coming with us now honey. So get up or we’ll get you up” Ashlyn stood strong by the side of the bed and tried to hide the shiver she felt when her wife gave her arguably the most evil death look she had ever given her in their lives.

“Ok, up we go” Kyle sing-songed as he knelt on the bed behind his sister and lifted her up into a sitting position so her legs were hanging off the side of the bed. He was careful not to be too rough. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re not taking no for an answer. So if you want this to be easy, then get the fuck up and get dressed. And I love you.”

But Ali was furious. She looked and acted just like Josie when she was having one of her fits of anger. With a little bit of Lily’s diva-esque hissyfits mixed in just to keep it interesting. Ashlyn had never seen her wife behave like such an absolute brat before and started to doubt her whole plan. She stopped for a few seconds after wrestling sweatpants up her wife’s angry legs, bunching them up on top of her pajama pants which she knew Ali hated.

“Maybe this is a bad idea...” she breathed out, panting from the exertion.

“No way Ash, you keep going. Your plan is perfect and it’s just what she needs and if she’s too stubborn to see it then we’ll help her. You keep going” Kyle said sternly from his position on the bed, still holding his sister upright as she struggled against him.

It wasn’t pretty but they finally got her dressed in warm sweats and socks. Kyle stood her up and they led her into the bathroom so she could pee, both knowing that would be a problem that couldn’t be fixed where they were going. 

“Come on honey, please?” Ashlyn pleaded as she turned to leave the bathroom with Ali standing like a pouting child with her arms folded across her chest and her bottom lip stuck out as far as it would go. They both heard a camera click and looked to the doorway where Kyle stood giggling and taking pictures.

“You are dead” Ali glared at her brother.

“If you’re going to act like such a brat I’m going to take pictures of it” he shrugged with an impish grin on his face. “The kids will never believe it otherwise” he giggled.

“Baby, just...please trust me?” Ashlyn tried one last time to keep the plan on track. “It’ll be good, I promise. But you have to pee and then we have to hurry up.”

Kyle took a couple more pictures and neither he nor Ashlyn was sure what had finally worked – her words or his camera, but the brunette took a step towards the toilet and pulled her pants down, prompting Kyle to cover his eyes and pretend to be offended as he moved into the bedroom. Ali was more compliant after that and they were both grateful. It took another 10 agonizing minutes to get her into warm outerwear, ski pants and winter jacket, and out the door, but they had done it. It was 6:52am and the sun was just starting its rise, the horizon just barely lightening from the dark black night. They were already supposed to be there, in position, and Ashlyn and Kyle hustled their favorite woman in the world along as fast as they dared. Ali never said a word but seemed to move along with them easier, now that she was up and dressed.

“There had better be coffee in there, lots of it” she grumbled and nodded at the backpack over her wife’s shoulder.

Kyle and Ashlyn smiled at each other from either side of the brunette and knew they had won that fearsome battle. Thank fucking God.

“Alright, you two behave now” Kyle warned playfully from his spot at the bottom of the big rock at Good Harbor Beach. He had just helped his sister climb up to the top, allowing her to use his hands and shoulders and knees as easier steps. She probably could have made the climb herself but none of the three of them, not even Ali herself, wanted to risk it. “I’ll be back in...30 minutes” he looked at his watch and set a timer. “Don’t get naked up there ok? Your bare skin will freeze to that rock” he laughed and departed at a trot after delivering that sage advice.

Both women chuckled at him as they settled into familiar positions to watch the sunrise from their favorite, special rock. It was cold as hell that morning and the wind coming off the ocean cut like a knife. It was 21 degrees, well below freezing, but the wind made it feel like single digits and made them both shiver and clutch at each other for warmth. It was so cold that they changed their positions from the usual Ali’s back to Ashlyn’s front to Ali straddling Ashlyn’s lap so their torsos were pressed tightly together for extra warmth. The keeper wrapped the heavy blanket around them and tucked it underneath her butt, against the heavy blanket they were sitting on, to try and keep any drafts out of their little cocoon. They turned their faces to the East and smiled as the sky began to put on its spectacular show.

“Thank you” Ashlyn kissed her wife’s cheek and then pressed hers tightly against it again.

They were both quiet as they embraced and witnessed another glorious sunrise together. Neither of them could remember the last time they had done it and that was a sure sign that it had been way too fucking long. Once their cocoon had warmed up a little bit they got out the coffee thermos and drank their fill, letting the hot liquid warm them up from the inside out. Ashlyn reached up and adjusted Ali’s warm winter hat several times, trying to make sure it was covering her ears and as much of her face as possible.

“I’m ok babe” the brunette finally spoke, her voice sounding more like herself than it had in weeks, except for the slight shiver from the cold. “Thanks though.”

“We don’t have to stay” Ashlyn offered a few minutes later, as the sun was nearly all the way up. They usually stayed for a while afterwards, enjoying the tail end of their special time together, neither of them wanting it to come to an end no matter the weather conditions. “It’s so cold...”

“No, I want to” Ali turned to face her sweet wife, nose to nose as they shivered slightly from the wind. She gave her a heartfelt smile. “If you do.”

“I definitely do” Ashlyn beamed at the change in her wife’s demeanor. “I’m freezing my ass off, but this is the best I’ve felt in... a long time. It’s nice to see your beautiful smile again.”

It had taken a few minutes of stillness and wind and coffee and sky and beauty and cold, but something had definitely shifted in the brunette. Ashlyn could feel it and sense it, and the honest smile had confirmed it. 

“I love you so much Ashlyn” she pressed a chilly kiss to the blonde’s freezing lips. “I’m so sorry...”

“Don’t be sorry baby. You don’t have to be sorry about anything. Ok? I just want you to be better. I’ll wait if you need more time, we all will, but...I need to know that you want to be better” the keeper spoke earnestly and returned the loving kiss.

“I do. I promise. I do” Ali nodded and started to get emotional.

“Don’t cry sugarplum, your beautiful eyes will freeze shut” Ashlyn grinned and felt her heart burst when Ali gave her a nose-crinkling grin in return.

They held each other tightly both to ward off the cold wind as well as to feel close again. They spoke the rest of their words over shoulders from inside the strong embrace.

“I talked to Mattie about it, about everything, about this” Ashlyn stammered her confession. “I promised her I would tell you about it so I’m doing it now” she giggled nervously, afraid her volatile post-concussion wife would be upset with her. “She thought this might be a good idea. And Kyle and Syd agreed...”

“You talked to everybody about this?” it was hard to tell if Ali was just surprised or surprised and angry too.

“No, just Mattie and Syd and Kyle.”

“Ok. I guess” the brunette sighed after another minute and Ashlyn thought all their progress had been lost. “I can’t feel my toes anymore but I’m really glad we’re here Ash. Thank you.”

“Mattie says you’re the only one who can help you feel better” the keeper bravely continued stepping through the minefield she had willingly put herself into. “I know she’s right because I’ve been there myself. Lots of times. And I know that other people trying to help you get better or feel better usually just pisses me off or makes it worse.”

“So now you tell me” Ali chuckled and gave her keeper a squeeze.

“Oh come on, you know all of this already. I know you do. It just...feels so weird to be in the other position, right?”

“Exactly” Ali nodded. “I feel like I know everything that’s happening to me, because I’ve watched you go through it. But it’s like it’s in a foreign language or something and I can’t quite understand it as well. That sounds crazy, I know...”

“No, that’s what it feels like. Absolutely. I know just what you mean.”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. I’m not as good at this as you are honey. Not that it’s a competition or anything...” Ali sighed again. “See, I can’t even say this part right” she groaned and dropped her chin heavily onto her wife’s strong shoulder.

“Just tell me what you’re feeling. Start with that” Ashlyn encouraged as they both shivered through a big blast of wind that made the keeper squeal.

“You ok there, Florida girl?” Ali giggled.

“Oh please, you shivered too” Ashlyn laughed. “Don’t change the subject. We can’t leave until Kyle comes back anyway...”

“I can get down by myself...”

“Don’t even start. If you think I’m going to let you hurt that big beautiful brain of yours climbing down off of this iceberg then you really might be crazy.”

It took a few seconds for them to settle back into stillness and they turned their heads away from the ocean and the freezing wind. Their icy cheeks began to warm each other up as Ali spoke again.

“I feel scared and angry and dumb...”

“Dumb?”

“Yeah. I can’t believe I didn’t know it was Emily all this time. I can’t believe I didn’t know she was in our house. In our fucking house!”

“Shhhh...it’s ok. She was only inside once. Just one time, that’s it.”

“Ugh, it makes me want to burn the whole thing down” Ali admitted quietly, feeling terrible about the words as they passed through her frozen lips. “I would never. You know I’m just saying that, right?”

“Al, really? Of course I know that. It’s just how you feel sometimes. I get it.” Ashlyn nuzzled her wife’s cheek. “And we’re getting it back. The house. Marisol scoured the fuck out of it, literally. And Mattie hooked us up with the lady to come and cleanse it” she emphasized the word cleanse, lengthening and giving it kind of an accidental British accent that made her wife giggle. “I don’t mean to make fun of it. I can’t wait for her to come next week. I want all traces of anybody but us gone just as much as you do. Believe me.”

“Us and the people we love” Ali corrected. “Like Grandma Lilian. She can stay. She has to stay. Only the bad stuff goes away. That’s what the cleansing lady says anyway” the brunette shrugged. “From what I know, it’ll take a lot more than this lady to move Grandma Lilian out of the house” she chuckled.

“You’re probably right. I like thinking about her watching over us here. It makes me feel safer.”

“Me too.”

“And once all of the bad is gone then George’s guys will come in and make everything pretty again with fresh, new paint” Ashlyn enthused, liking that idea more and more every day. Nothing made a house feel newer than fresh paint.

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to go over all of these paint colors before George buys anything” Ali cautioned.

“Yes!! I knew that would eventually get you back in the game” Ashlyn pumped her fist, momentarily letting the blanket go and allowing a cold blast of air inside their cocoon.

“Hey! It’s cold enough” Ali yelped. “Hold on to that damned blanket!” she giggled as she snuggled in tighter, arms and legs wrapped solidly around her keeper’s body.

“Sorry, sorry” the blonde tugged the blanket tightly around them again, re-tucking it into place. They paused for a minute to resettle. “Thank God you came to your senses before I let Sydney handle our bedroom” she rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Living dangerously Harris. Really just living on the edge, aren’t you?” the brunette chuckled.

“Hey, it worked. You’re back, aren’t you?” it was a playful question but Ashlyn really wanted an honest answer.

“Almost back babe. Almost back. I feel like I got stuck in...all the yuckyness she left behind. She got so deep into our lives. It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about her watching the kids at the soccer games. And that whole schedule she had for their summer camps. Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Shhhh...don’t go back there Al. She’s sick. And some of that sickness got onto us but we’re getting rid of it, piece by piece. Inch by inch. And we’ll be good as new once we’re finished.”

There was another pause while they both pushed back thoughts of Emily Quindlen and her fucked up obsession with their lives.

“I wonder if we should have just gone to Florida for this part. Sometimes I think it was a mistake to stay here, you know, so soon after it happened” Ali finally spoke.

“Me too. I’ve wondered that all along. But remember we made that decision for really good reasons. The kids had all their Christmas stuff at school, and the recitals and the class concerts.”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“And Logan’s so young we didn’t want to leave her for so long with somebody else.”

“Mmm Hmmm.”

“And the police needed us for some of the case stuff. That would have been a lot harder to do if we were in Florida.”

“True.”

“And your poor poor brain shouldn’t have been on an airplane right away either, remember?”

“I know” Ali sighed. “You’re right, I know.”

“And we’re going in three weeks for February vacation. Can you make it another three weeks?”

“Yeah, I can do it. I’m starting to feel better” the brunette nodded and pressed a kiss into her keeper’s cheek.

“Because if you need to get away, you should just go. I’ll stay here with the kids. You can go to your mom’s in Miami...”

“No, I wanna stay with you and the kids. I know it doesn’t always seem like it, but you’re the only ones that are getting me through this. I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

“Even the screaming monkeys?” Ashlyn turned and quirked an eyebrow at her wife, using the term they had adopted for the kids when they were loud and crazy, which was most of the time.

“Not so much the screaming monkeys” Ali giggled. “They kill me, but the quiet, cute monkeys who give me hugs and kisses and snuggle up and read to me...that’s one of the best things that ever came out of this horrible mess.”

“Well I can tell you for a fact that they are happy to have you here with us. That’s for sure. Even when you’re not at your best they feel better, and safer, when you’re here. It’s always been that way and I know it always will be” Ashlyn gave her wife a soft, sweet kiss, even though both their lips were really starting to freeze.

“We’ve always been best as a team. I don’t think that’ll ever change, babe. We won’t let it.” Ali gave Ashlyn another kiss, letting it linger as long as possible while the wind whipped stray pieces of her hair across their faces. “Thank you for waking me up this morning” she pressed their foreheads together. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“Never gonna happen. Not ever. Just like you’ve never given up on me when I’ve been struggling. Together forever baby. Thick or thin. Good and bad. You’re stuck with me.”

“Thank you God.”

Three and a half weeks later they found themselves shivering again, standing in the ocean at their favorite Satellite Beach location. It wasn’t the nicest beach or the quietest beach or the busiest beach or the smoothest beach or any of that. It was their favorite because it was the first beach that Ashlyn had ever taken Ali to during her first visit. That had been a magical trip that had started with a birthday celebration at Gram’s house for Ashlyn’s dirty thirty. It had involved confrontations with ex-girlfriends, and sexy dreams after drunken nights complete with fireworks high in the dark Orlando sky. But the end of it had been even better, with Ashlyn giving Ali a full dose of Harris hospitality, starting with a tour of tiny Satellite Beach. She had showed Ali the skate park and soccer field where she had spent so many hours of her youth, and all her old favorite places, including the magical grotto where they poured their hearts out to each other. At one of their stops that day, they had visited this beach and Ali had found the most beautiful stone she had ever seen. It was blue, four different shades of blue separated in sections like thick slices of color. She had kept it and admired it and loved it because it reminded her of the surfer girl from Florida she loved but couldn’t have. Until finally, one day, she had given that well-loved, multi-colored blue stone to that surfer girl from Florida. It was their wedding day and it was Ashlyn’s something blue and it had left her in a puddle of tears when Kyle recited his sister’s words to her that day...

“This is your something blue. Blue represents purity, love and fidelity. This stone is from Satellite Beach, your hometown, the place you learned to be the wonderful woman that you are today. I found it on the beach during my first visit, the day you gave me the tour of your little town. I’ve kept it ever since because it reminds me of you and of the sea and of that special visit where we were brave enough to share our stories with each other. Now I want you to have it as a token of my love for you and a small piece of Satellite Beach for you on your special day.”

Ali had finished her dedication, delivered through Kyle, with a warning for Ashlyn not to lose the blue stone or she would kill her. The irony of the situation was not lost on either of them that February day in Florida, 12 years later. It hadn’t been Ashlyn who had lost the blue stone. It had been Ali. Ali’s past that had been so hard for her to pack away when they were first getting together and trying to live together and start a life together. Ali’s past had come back again and taken the blue stone from them both. They knew, after the fact, that it had been taken on August 28th and was returned by the police on January 9th. It had been missing for just over four months and Ali, in particular, had felt it acutely. She had missed it desperately when it was time for her ultrasound at the end of October and it had been a source of frustration for both women when they had been unable to locate it after several exhaustive searches. When it had been time for Ali’s next ultrasound, the last week of January, she had carried it with her but it didn’t feel right. She had given it to Ashlyn to hold instead. The sweet keeper had stood right next to her wife, holding her hand during the procedure and making sure she felt comfortable and safe and loved. Ashlyn knew her wife had done it so many times without her and didn’t really need her help, but the brunette felt fragile to her in the weeks after the attack. She wasn’t herself yet and the keeper knew it, they both did. The blue stone had seemed less important that time but both women wanted to reclaim it, once and for all, and welcome it back into their lives. And that’s what their trip to the chilly beach that day was all about.

In the 9 weeks since the attack they had come a long way both mentally and emotionally. Their bodies had healed and Ali’s brain was almost back to normal. They had cleansed the big old house in every way possible and, by the time they returned from February vacation in a few short days, it would be bathed in fresh paint too. Both Ali and Ashlyn had met several times with Mattie, relying on the therapist to guide them back to mental health and help them stay there. Ashlyn’s PTSD was still under control and Ali’s concussion-induced depression had been defeated as well. They both had a scar on their bodies to remind them of what they almost lost that day in Ali’s office but they didn’t dwell on them. Ali found it, as she had done with so many of Ashlyn’s other scars over the years, during their intimate times - showing it some extra love and attention until it became as common and familiar as the rest. The keeper often used the spot on the back left side of her wife’s head, the spot where the soft brunette locks were still growing back in, as the preferred place to plant the warm kisses she delivered several times a day, at random times, when they were close enough together. 

They still had work to do, of course. Ali had to return to work and that was planned for the beginning of March. She had to deal with facing her office, if she could, and making it her own again. Nobody was putting any pressure on her to do it and both Jared and Whitney had offered to switch offices with her if that would help. Ali would take it one step at a time and decide as she went along. The 9 weeks of doing nothing but trying to heal her brain had given her another lesson about how short and sweet life could be. She had finally eased into a sort of acceptance of her situation and found a way to embrace the downtime. Her real recovery had begun after that freezing morning when her wife and brother had dragged her to watch the sunrise at the big rock. That had been the turning point. For Ashlyn, she had to make sure she stayed in control of her own mental health. It had been a stressful, trying several months for her and nobody assumed she would skate through it unscathed. She struggled mightily with the weight of the guilt she felt for almost killing Emily. She knew in her heart that it would haunt her for the rest of her life if she let it. 

So they were both careful with each other as they got their lives back on track and back in motion. Part of that meant allowing and encouraging the grandparents brigade to get back to their own lives as well. That was a bittersweet pill for all of them to swallow. The kids had gotten used to having them around and they had gotten used to being with the kids every day. There would be a rough period of adjustment and they all knew it. The Harris contingent had returned to Florida at the beginning of February, knowing they would be seeing the family again in just a couple of weeks. Ken and Vicki started visiting less frequently, not because they wanted to but because they knew Ali and Ashlyn needed them to. They were dog-sitting Persey and Logan for the February trip, as they typically did, and it felt like things were getting back to normal. Deb was going to be the toughest one to say goodbye to. Mike had come back up to join her at the condo in Manchester after some golfing trips in January and they were visiting Kyle and Nathan in NYC for February vacation week and having a great time. The young Krieger kids would be in for a shock when they returned from Florida and Grandma wasn’t waiting for them in the big old house.

The last piece to the puzzle was something only Ali and Ashlyn knew the true importance of. The blue stone. Ali had confessed how odd it had felt since it had been returned to them and Ashlyn had come up with a great plan to, hopefully, correct it. It had been the house cleansing and blessing woman who had given her the idea. They had reclaimed everything that Emily had touched or taken from them that year so why didn’t they do the same thing with the blue stone? Take it back to its origin and wash it clean. Let the magic of the salty sea bathe the impurities away. Ali had loved the idea and taken it one step further. Why not let the ocean baptize them both again too?

“Alright, you ready?” Ashlyn kissed her wife’s cheek as they stood side by side, thigh deep in the surf at Satellite Beach, her arm draped loosely around the brunette’s hips.

Even in Satellite Beach the Atlantic Ocean was chilly in February, hitting its annual low temperature in the middle of the winter month. 66 degrees felt cold as the waves slowly rolled into their bodies. Part of the problem was that the air was only in the low-60s itself and the two women had been cold before walking into the water, dressed in their bathing suits and nothing else. Ashlyn had been worried about keeping Ali warm enough but, after much consideration over the past few days, she decided the risk was worth it. This was important to both of them, but particularly to the brunette, and Ashlyn wasn’t going to half-ass any part of it.

“I’m ready” Ali squeezed her arm around her keeper’s waist, digging her cold fingertips into the pebbled skin. They were both covered in goosebumps and eager to get going with their plan. “On three...”

“Wait, on three? Or three and then go?” 

“On three” Ali hip-checked her and stretched her other hand out in front of them both.

Ashlyn did the same, putting her big hand underneath her wife’s and they both smiled at the blue stone resting in Ali’s palm. They held each other’s waist in their side hug and closed their hands around the blue stone as they counted together and braced themselves against a particularly strong wave.

“One, two, three!”

They took one big step forward, deeper into the ocean, and then dunked under, dropping their butts down, sticking their legs out in front of them and letting the sea push them forward and back for several seconds. Both of their eyes were squeezed shut to keep their contacts in place while they were underwater, but they didn’t need to see anything anyway. They felt each other, never letting go of the side hug, but just letting it loosen as they floated together. Each woman thought about everything that they were hoping to wipe clean. They had so many things to be grateful for and yet another painful reminder of how fleeting the whole fucking thing could be. They floated and wished and hoped and prayed and dreamed. They made silent promises to each other and to their God and to the sea. The waves pushed them back and forth in their limbo and they could feel the sand and small bits and pieces of other stones and shells swirling around them and pelting their skin as they got caught up in the powerful pull of the tides. The sound of the ocean filled their ears, muted and distorted and blissfully hushed. It sounded like heaven to Ali after so many weeks of painful noise assaulting her injured brain at every turn. They stayed like that for two minutes, only giving up when they could hold their breath no more. They squeezed their hands and pulled their feet back beneath them, standing up and gasping for air as the sounds and sights and smells of the world rushed back at them simultaneously.

“You ok?” Ashlyn turned, shaking her short hair quickly to keep it from dripping down her face, and looked closely at her wife’s flushed face.

“Yeah” Ali panted. “I’m good. I’m great” she smiled as she shivered. 

She opened her palm between them and they both grinned down at the blue stone. Ali dunked it under the water one more time for good measure and brought it up to her lips for a kiss. Ashlyn did the same thing and then pulled her wife in for a deep, passionate kiss of their own. In those few minutes where their lips and tongues and mouths were locked together, so much more than just those parts were connected. They both felt refreshed and renewed and reborn in a way. It had been the final step but maybe the most important one for them both. They didn’t pretend to understand all of it, they just accepted the fact that the sea had given them the one final boost they needed to get back to living their lives again. 

That salty, briny water had helped them reclaim their beloved blue stone. That was true. But it had also helped them reclaim themselves and their relationship and their love. So much had been spoiled by prying, desperate eyes. Emily had seen things that nobody but Ali and Ashlyn were ever supposed to see. That had left a wound that neither of them was sure how to heal, or even if it could be healed. They hadn’t had sex more than a couple of times since the attack, mostly because of Ali’s concussion recovery. But even as she was starting to feel better their intimate time had been awkward and hesitant. Ashlyn was afraid of hurting her and Ali couldn’t get the image of Emily leering through those windows at the glamping cabin out of her head. Somehow, this beach, Ashlyn’s ocean, the beautiful majestic sea had left them both feeling pure and clean. Ali knew in her heart that they had turned an important corner that day at the beach. She knew deep down in her soul that she and Ashlyn were closer than ever and that, as hard as Emily had tried to drive them apart with her vicious social media posts and awful, hateful words, she had only made their bond stronger. 

Theirs was the kind of love Edgar Allen Poe had written about in his beautiful, tragic love poem for his beloved Annabel Lee. Theirs was the kind of love that was more than love, that was coveted by the winged seraphs of heaven, that was envied by the angels, that was stronger by far than the love of those who were older than they. The sea, Ashlyn and Ali’s sounding sea, had helped them reclaim the blue stone, their own selves, their remarkable, unfathomable love, and also the poem that Ali had once loved and a deranged ex had warped and tarnished. It hadn’t been Ali and Emily’s love that the poem was about. Ha! Not even close. As they broke the kiss, Ali recited the last two stanzas of the poem, her lips only an inch from her wife’s, placing soft kisses every second line or so. 

“’But our love it was stronger by far than the love  
Of those who were older than we –  
Of many far wiser than we –  
And neither the angels in heaven above,  
Nor the demons down under the sea,  
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side  
Of my darling – my darling – my life and my bride,  
In the sepulchre there by the sea,  
In her tomb by the sounding sea.’”

She took a breath and was ready to apologize or explain why she had brought that poem into their intimate moment, suddenly aware of the fact that Ashlyn might not appreciate the epiphany she herself had just experienced. But before she could open her mouth to explain, Ashlyn crashed their lips together in another powerful kiss – they type of kiss that you felt for hours afterwards and thought about for days.

“You’re my Annabel Lee” the keeper panted out after the kiss. She appeared nervous as they pulled apart to look at each other as they recovered from the passionate kiss. “I’m sorry if that’s...”

“No” Ali put her finger over the blonde’s lips, shushing her and giving her a nose-crinkling grin. “You’re right. I never saw it until right now” she shook her head excitedly. “That poem was always about us, you and me, and I was just too young and dumb to see it. I thought I knew what love was back then” she laughed self-deprecatingly and was happy to see Ashlyn’s dimple-bearing grin looking back at her. “Now I know” she nodded and bit her bottom lip. “Now I understand what Poe was trying to say. “Nothing will ever dissever my soul from the soul of my beautiful Annabel Lee” she stopped as she choked on her emotional words. “You’re my Annabel Lee too Ashlyn. You always have been. You always will be...”

The keeper couldn’t wait any longer and gave her wife another slow, deep kiss, lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around her waist. They made out like that for as long as they could stand the cold, Ali clutching their blue stone in her hand, resting on Ashlyn’s shoulder. They let their lips tell each other how desperately they loved one another. After everything they’d been through, each one saving the other during the most dire of times 9 weeks ago, there just weren’t words to convey the depth and breadth of their love anymore. They stood in the sea and reveled in their rebirth. Their reclamation was complete.


End file.
